What's Your Drama - Miley the Zit Popper & a Broke Boyfriend

Episode Date: February 6, 2020

How do we open the show today? Well, with Lainey's favorite topic on earth - popping zits. Which then somehow flows into why she thinks it makes sense for me to show her my vulva. Then your drama: what to do with a cheapo partner, what to do when you're not down with your partner's facial hair, and what to do when you don't want to travel with a travel buddy anymore. We hope you enjoy the show and want you to send me all your DRAMA! So keep your advice questions coming my way at [e-mail]. We also love hearing from you to be sure to send us feedback on on twitter at @sasha_tong and @laineygossip and Instagram at @lostandfoundapothecary and @laineygossip. And of course subscribe wherever you get your podcasts, and make sure to leave feedback and comments because it helps others find our show!   Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

But I guess I don't need you to look at the scratchy part of my vagina and, like, point it out to you when I could just say, hey, like, do you have, like, scratchy vagina sometimes? I can just verbalize that. I don't need to have a PowerPoint presentation of my fucking vulva and show you where the itch is happening. What do you think of Miley Cyrus? um popping i don't don't want you to finish that sentence no i'm going to finish it miley cyrus popping cody simpson's backs it i hate it you know lots of couples couples do this yes i do i know specifically probably you and yassic do this because you love gross shit i do love gross shit but he won't let me but if he did you would be all about it probably i that is

not my jam i don't like looking at gross things i sure shit don't want to look at gross things on the person that on most days annoys the fuck out of me so if there's one other thing to push me over the edge to like gross myself out no i don't even do but this is my relationships i don't like do i if someone farts in front of me i get very upset i don't like shit like that at all i own like what about me when i talk to you about my shit my period yeah but you're not my You talk to me about your shits and your period. I'm in a relationship with you. Yes, but you don't like rub your period blood on me.

Or like you don't do – like I don't have to – Who's rubbing? Like nobody's rubbing period blood on anybody. But if you can tell me something, it's fine. But if I have to see it or see it come out of something, no. No, thank you. You love it. I didn't see the actual Instagram story live.

So did it – was she like popping it live? I don't know. By the time – I just read about it. I didn't watch it. Okay, I just read about it. I didn't see it, but I just saw the two screenshots and it looked like… But, you know, basically what she's saying is, like, I can be Dr. Pimple Popper, too.

Yes. Which I have not watched any of those videos either. She's so famous. I know she's famous. But, you know, you can also… She has a TV show. Yes. Yeah.

But you can also order those things from Amazon, right? Like, those, like, plastic things where you, like, just pop zits. Yeah. Everyone told me about this. Like, people think I don't know this. Like, there's a toy that you pop zits and there's a cake that you can order that's, like a giant zit. And of course, hey, hello, everybody. I've seen it. None of this is the real thing. This is not a substitute for the real thing. There is a frisson, like a thing that comes

over my body when I'm watching those kinds of videos. I don't get it. Okay. But if, would you pop a zit on me? If you let me. You would. Yeah. And you wouldn't look at me any different afterwards. And I'd be cosplaying Dr. Pimple Popper. Like I would be. I'd try and use the same tools and I'd try to like have the same technique. Yeah. Like I'd want to do the same thing. But the reason why I wanted to ask you about this is because this is in line with another bodily function story or bodily examination, bodily sharing story that I, that I, that kind of I wanted to talk to you about because it's a level of intimacy. Like that's lovers popping zits on each other, whatever.

But what about friends like having a party or getting together and getting naked and showing each other their vaginas? Oh, because you watched Goop. Well, okay. So that was the recommendation, right? Yes. That we should all get together. Like, I don't think they said like all get, gather all your friends.

Wasn't it more just like, okay, but go on. I don't want to interrupt you. Okay, so you should basically, it doesn't have to be fucking a party, but it should be your close friends. You and I have like- No, it shouldn't be your close friends. It should be strangers. I would be fine to look at other stranger women vaginas.

There is no way- You're such a fucking liar. If I had two choices, to walk into a bathroom with a stranger and pull your pants down and be like, look at my labes. No, no, no. That is not where I was going with it. I'm talking about if you watch the Goop episode, it's like a fucking like, what is it? Like a seminar on your vaginas, which apparently it's not your vaginas, it's your vulvas, what

you're supposed to say. Right. And you're around in a fucking circle and you look at a bunch of strangers' vulvas and you're like, hey, yours is like this. Yours is like this. Mine is like this. They didn't say, hey, grab your besties and everyone fucking spread them. Like, I think it's supposed to be more like, obviously it's super intimate, but I don't

know if you're supposed to go with your friends. I don't want to sign up for a seminar. Like I actually. So you would just like us to come over here to your house and do this? So I think it's, I think it's more comfortable not signing up for a fucking seminar, having to get dressed, having to go to some community center, right? Where is it? At a community center.

Making sure that the doors are locked. Okay. And the windows are boarded up. And then having an instructor be like, now Karen is going to show her vulva and we're going to go in alphabetical order. So what are you proposing here? What would you rather? What do you think of this idea that they're recommending?

It's Betty Dodson who was talking about it, right? Who was dope as shit. Exactly. Who was talking about it saying like, we have to normalize the fact that vaginas are different Because we have to stop this vagina shaming, women not knowing answers about their own body, women being uncomfortable talking about their own body and not getting the information that they need about like the most important, some would argue, or at least this area that is surrounded with so much mystery and mythology. So the best thing to do is gather around and like, you know, just have a party where you're just kind of like, oh, that's your V. Here's my V. Like my right side is flappier than my left side.

You would never. Never. You couldn't. I'm going to propose it to our friend group to have. None of them would say, Joanna would say yes because she thinks to be progressive. No, I think, I think, I would. No one would say yes. I think we can get a three out of five majority.

Who are the three? You, me, Duanna. I think it would be me. Duanna's very proper, though. I don't think. Yeah, I think it would be me, L, and A. A would not. L would.

A would not. No, you're alone on that one because all you have to do is just fucking watch the, what episode is it? I think it's three? Three or four. I forget what episode number it is on Goop. And just fucking look at a bunch of fucking chicks' vaginas. That's all you have to do.

I don't need to do this with my friends. Yeah, but it was a good episode. Everything else on that fucking series is fucking diarrhea, but that one's okay. But it's not just about looking at it. It's about like, okay, I've seen it. And sometimes does this part get like, which part? This part right under here and this fold. I don't need to know that.

It gets a little bit itchy or it gets a little bit swollen. I don't know if I want to have that discussion with my friends. Maybe that's the problem. But I think if I had that, I think that's the problem. I think that that's the conditioning. I guess I wouldn't you've been conditioned I've been conditioned but I guess I don't need you to look at the the scratchy part of my fucking vagina and like point it out to you when I could just say hey like do you have like scratchy vagina sometimes I can just verbalize that I don't

need to fucking have a powerpoint presentation of my fucking vulva and show you where the itch is happening okay whatever so there's that we've already established that you're not a pimple popper and you're not a vulva studier, but I just want you to know that if you would like to study vulvas together, that would be hashtag friendship. Great. Good to know. I'll put that in my back pocket. Okay.

Ready? Yes. Okay. Let's get into your drama. Yeah. Okay. I'm reading? You sure are.

Hi, Sasha and Lainey. Here's where I need your advice. I got out of a long-term relationship three months ago and jumped on the dating apps recently because I wanted to start casually dating someone. I've been seeing a guy, let's call him A, for a few weeks now. We text every day, just a few short messages to keep in touch, and go for drinks and food at least once a week. He's funny, communicative, great in bed, and we share a lot in common.

The only thing is he just started grad school at 29 and won't have a job for the next two years. When I carefully asked why, he said that he'd saved enough to be able to live comfortably without a job, which is fine, but I noticed he's quite frugal, understandably so. On my end, being financially stable has always been important to me. My ex was also the same way, and as a result, we were able to travel and live a comfortable lifestyle without feeling too constrained. I really don't care if we were just hooking up, but things seem to be getting a bit serious

and I want to know, is the fact that he's incredibly frugal and doesn't have a lot to spend a problem? If this person can't join me in doing the things I enjoy because of how much things may cost going to be a problem, I would also feel very bad suggesting any activities that would cost him money, such as travel, which is a big passion of mine. I'm also 29. I'm thinking about the next stage in my life. Do I cut ties even though the chats and the sex are really good?

You can tell me I'm a judgmental person. I'm sorry in advance and want to know what you do in my position. Love, Jay. Oh, I love this question. Love this question. J and A. J and A. So A is frugal.

29 and going to grad school. And A is frugal, going to grad school 29, J is 29, is financially independent, and likes to spend her money on, or his money, on, we don't know if, yeah, we don't know. So, likes to spend her or his money on the things that they like to spend money on. Yeah. Great. Do we, can we not classify J, no, sorry, A, sorry, A, as financially independent as well?

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So these are two financially independent. Yeah. Yeah. For me, listen, to the person to my left, I know Jacek is cheap, right? He's frugal.

Correct. So it doesn't even matter. So it doesn't even matter sometimes how much fucking money is in the bank. There is just a personality trait of being cheap or frugal. And like Corey also has a job, but is fucking frugal. Loves to fight. like nothing is a treat for me it's always fucking 50 50 which drives me insane and he's really tight with his dough so my point being like job no job maybe you're just with a fucking cheap person

um but for me it's like what is around that like if he was um if he hadn't i don't know if she's saying he's cheap or he has no money do you know what i mean like that's kind of the differing the differential situation for me it's like is her complaint that he's cheap or that he has no money because if it's the no money thing he's got for me i'm like hey dude has has fucking squirreled away enough money to not have to work for two years which is fucking smart and to me says oh good money manager yeah that could be a very good characteristic so i don't know why we're we're um shaming him for that yeah i jay that is i i think that that is a really important distinction whether or not he's like broke or just really financially responsible.

Clearly what she's, I think what she's trying to say is that she has more disposable income than he does and that might change after he graduates. Like I, like unfortunately I think we need a little bit more information here. But the bigger thing for me is that yes, even though Jacek and I have different approaches to money. very different approaches. I am really good at spend. I'm good at making, we said this before, I'm good at making money and spending money. I'm not good at saving or maintaining or managing or really caring about how it works. Right. I'm really good at spending, not making,

not conserving and not saving. Yeah. And he's really good at saving and managing and understanding it. And that actually makes us compatible. Totally. Because I think that I would be so fucked. You would be living in a cardboard box somewhere. If I didn't have to like worry about like, oh shit.

With a really, really expensive face mask because I'm putting that in because you bought a very expensive face mask. You did. For travel, but go on.

But, but, I will say that where we do, like where we do agree is we do like a certain lifestyle in terms of traveling.

We want, we both do want to be comfortable. We just have different ways Of getting there. Yeah. And was it like that all the time? I feel like you probably influenced Jacek for the five stars.

For sure. Okay. For sure. So that's a point that we can come back to. Yeah. Yes. Why are you laughing? If it were up to him.

Rich. Yeah. He, if, yes, I can't do a motel. Yes. Right? But he would. He would probably. And still does when he doesn't travel with me.

Sure. And he travels with his friends. Yeah. For 100%. Yeah. And that's great. Good for him. I'm glad that he can, he can still do that. Yeah. I'm really happy for him. I'm not capable of that. I work hard. I like to spend hard. Yes. But he doesn't have a bad time when he's there. No. And he enjoys it.

Yes. And he's willing to do it because we work hard. So we want to enjoy our lives. Yes. Yes. So it's a perspective on lifestyle. This is, this is what it has to be. It's not necessarily about money. It's about your attitudes towards lifestyle. What does like lifestyle and the way that Jay and A want to live their lives mean and what are the resources that are needed to support that? Right? Yeah. I also feel like Jay hasn't even asked A what his views or on travel or how he likes to travel, right? She sort of just assumes that because he is, that he's currently not going to have a job for two years,

that, oh, maybe he won't want to spend money on like a nice vacation. She actually, it's not like she's, in her letter at least, she didn't point out that she asked him and he was like, no, we must stay in a trailer. Like, I feel like she's assuming a lot of this because it's a new relationship ship and maybe she's not really comfortable to get down to like legit the brass taxes of what's in his bank account and how he likes to spend it. So I feel like she's kind of jumping to conclusions right now.

So, and then also, you know, what you just said about how you and Yassica have kind of come together and merged the way you like to enjoy your life. I am the opposite. Like Corey, I am five star, five star. Let me stay in the nicest fucking places, please. Yeah. No, I get fucking no's all the time. I'll send him links to places and he'll be like, it's too fucking nice.

It's too nice. Which is mental. It drives me fucking insane. Okay, but I thought that you were a little down with that too. Because when you went on this East Coast trip, you guys, you said that you were staying in like tiny little- Yeah, yeah, yeah. These tree houses and shit.

I do, I do. There was a place that- Yeah, I stayed in a fucking tree house with an outdoor shower. Yeah. Yes. But the minute I got there, I was like, we have to leave. We have to find a new place. Like, I can't do this.

He was like, no, we're going to tough it out. He doesn't like throwing away money. Anyway, so my point two here is while you and Jacek have come together and made that work, I am always battling this with Corey and we still manage to make it work because it comes down to compromise. So I get to go on the nice vacations where we spend a pretty amount of money. But then the next vacation, he sort of gets 10% of the planning responsibilities and I'll usually kibosh a lot of it.

But one or two nights we'll stay somewhere that's like not super nice. Look, you're like upset. Your face looks upset that I said that. No, no. I just like, what is, okay, great. No, no. So the compromise, there's compromises, right? Because I have to deal with his frugalness and I will, I can't always push my luxury mentality on him because he just gets angry. So I'm just saying that there's like, you can still have a functioning relationship and still be with a cheapo even though you're not cheap. Yeah. I, for sure. I think that what is, what is bugging or bugging Jay is that it's, when relationships break down, it's often

not for lack of love. It's money, the language of money is a thing. I was talking to, I don't know, we had this like relationship expert or this maybe counselor on our show like last year and she confirmed that like money is the biggest source of stress for couples. And a deal breaker. And deal breaker. And yeah, and deal breaker. So sometimes it's money problems, literally like someone loses a job or certain people have, you know, mental health issues related to money where

they just, like there are stories where secretly the husband has like 50 secret credit cards and has racked up like $200,000 in debt, like that kind of shit, which relates to trust. But the bottom line is you, Jay, as Sasha said, you have to, if this is going to get serious, you have to develop your, your money language, just like your love language. That is a part of communication. And you know what? Western society, people are uncomfortable talking about money. Of course.

And that's what's so weird about it. Like they don't want to, I don't know what it is. Like money talk just makes people so fucking weird. It really does. And it comes from, like, upper class aristocrats saying that it is uncool or unclassy to talk about money because, let's be honest, rich people had it and they didn't want poor people to know how much they had. Right, right.

Right? And it became this etiquette thing. It became mannered. Whereas, like, fuck manners when you're talking about relationships and staying together. Talk about your fucking money and your attitude towards it. come to a compromise and get over this weird, precious, like, I don't know, waspy thing about money. Yeah. No, I agree. I agree. I totally agree. I feel like, though, it's a little too soon to be like, how are you saving your money? Like, they've just started dating, right? I think

you can start to get to know him and easily in conversation bring up, like, where you want to go next and see if he's on board. But the other thing that I want to point out, too, is like, again i don't know why i'm fighting so hard for a but he's it's not like he's lazy it'd be one thing if he had fucking no dough and was a lazy sack of shit he has as i said scrolled and weigh enough money to not be pressured by having a job while he's going to grad school and he's going to fucking grad school he's obviously trying to make something of himself he's not sitting on the couch playing fucking video games with his hands down his pants like he is actively from what i know from this letter is trying to make something of his life so like maybe you guys can't go on your

world-class first-class trip right now but eventually like who's to say that that's not in your future so I don't think you should cut and run yet that's my point don't cut and run yeah and also the final thing you're right don't cut and run and also something to think about it's 2020 and if this is a hetero uh like relationship and she is a woman this is a woman and, you know, A, is a dude, like, a girl can treat a guy to a trip, a holiday. Fuck yeah. I mean, no one bats an eyelash when I talk about how Jacek flew me out consistently, like, multiple times at the beginning of our relationship.

He wanted to see me. He had the money. But if it was reversed. But if it was reversed, like, and I get why. It's because women have to work so hard for financial independence. And, of course, you want women to protect themselves. But if you are in a position, Jay, if you happen to be in a position where this dude who works hard, who studies hard, seems to be financially responsible, but just can't

go to, I don't know, wherever, and you can spot him. Why not? And it's not going to hurt you. Yeah. Why not? Yeah. Right? Yeah.

That's kind of baller. I do too. I think I do too. I mean, I agree with that. That's, that's, uh, that's good information that she should actually, she just absorbed all of this. Yeah. Because I think she just needs to shift her perspective a bit.

Anyway, good luck with that. and keep enjoying the good sex. Yeah. Yeah. That's fucking worth a lot of money there. Okay, next.

Dear Sasha and Lainey, my boyfriend, let's call him Harry, we've been together a little over four years. For the entirety of our relationship, he has, for the most part,

been clean-shaven, a look I favor. Lately, he's been enjoying the look of a long, scraggly beard, somewhere between Brad Pitt during his bearded days and ZZ Top.

Okay. I thought this was a phase, but it's lasted over six months with no end in sight. Not only do I find this unhygienic and unattractive, but it's also physically uncomfortable when he kisses me and especially when he goes down on me. I've asked him to at least trim it shorter and he's refused saying it's his face and he likes it

and I wouldn't appreciate it if he told me what to do with my hair and I should accept him as he is. This has led to a lot of stupid petty fights and me withholding intimacy because frankly, I hate having a Brillo pad dragged across my face and body. Neither of us are budging. Should I just accept this or is he being unreasonable?

Good question. Okay. Yeah. Well, okay. So beyond, like, I, this is really true. Why is this? I find this, I just don't like a long. Oh, now to look at Yassic.

Right. Yassic just has a stubble. Okay. You don't like long things. I don't like a beard. I know some women love it. Yes. Ones that are, yeah, yeah.

Like those thick, as our writer said, burlap hats. I don't like it at all. So if Jacek decided to grow one. I don't love clean shaven either. Right. Like, well, I only love completely clean shaven. When they're 19. 19 and Asian soap actors.

When it's Timothee Chalamet and all my Chinese and Korean cutie actors and BTS. Outside of that, no. No. Yeah. I don't, yeah, I don't like super clean shaven, but I can, just a little stubble is good for me. A little stubble. Right.

But this chick is talking a thick ass motherfucking beard. Like when we're between fucking a little bit less than ZZ Top, that I, no, that is, that is a no thank you for me. Yeah. I was okay when we were talking about Brad Pitt. I was like, oh, cool, cool, cool, cool. But no, ZZ Top is a little bit aggressive for me. But it's between Brad Pitt at his beardiest and ZZ Top.

It's almost though like I would be okay with someone's beard because I've seen lots of beautifully well-kept beards where it's like they're putting oil and shit and they're brushing it and stuff. Again, I've never been with someone who has a hefty look like that. So I don't know what that feels like. Yeah, but it wasn't her choice. Like he was, they've been together four years and he's just decided to do this. Like guys do that though when they're like going through something.

And I get that he is entitled to do whatever the fuck he wants to do with his face. I mean, what the advice I would instinctually give her was, yeah, just keep on holding out. But she's doing that and it's not working. there has to be again a happy medium right like can't he fucking like can't do we have to go full zz can we go z as opposed to like double z like there has to be some compromise here or at least he has to figure out a way to keep it soft because beards can be soft i've felt ones that are that big and they can be soft right so maybe dude isn't doing the right shit he's not getting the right product so that's what i was gonna say maybe our writer has to go and like source this on her own

because that's sometimes what you have to do for your dudes and find good, like a good little kit worth of like oils and fucking soaps, I don't know, and brushes to make that more manageable. That has to be the compromise. That is a really great suggestion. I didn't even think about the products. Products. Yes.

Products is one. I think that, listen, you've been together four years, so obviously this isn't something you're going to end the relationship over. um he is clearly being stubborn and i mean on paper his point is good like it's true right yeah because he we we would we would be all over his ass if he was telling her to shave her legs or whatever or whatever yeah so i guess that's a fair point um look at us we're so like we've been but what happens like has cory ever done a hairstyle that you can't hate you like we talked about you can't love he threatens to shave his head all the time and i would i i get

i oh it's it's so serious to me when he says that that i get very angry and i'm like it's disgusting don't do that like yeah and if he shaves off his um like upper like if he ever tries to like shave his beard too tight or like clean. I fucking hate that too. But I'm a raging bitch. So when I say these things, it's like, it's not, I'm like very serious and angry about it. So he typically doesn't cross me when it comes to that sort of stuff.

You know that like, I think it was four years ago, I came home to find that Jacek had shaved his head. I remember when his… What an error. Why do they do that? I was fucking – I was irate. Yeah. Yep.

And I was – I felt personally attacked. Totally. Totally. I – and I – He says he looked good. No. No. Yeah, it's like I feel like you can probably agree that you look better with hair than

without. Correct? Correct. It was – He's acting very uninterested today. He was so unattractive. Yeah. I was – I was – yeah, I felt – it was – I felt traumatized.

I don't – I haven't gotten over it. Right. And, you know, thank God he decided to just not keep doing it. And I think it was because, like you, I was a raging bitch. Yes. I might have, like – It's like disgusting gross. I might have threatened to cry.

Yeah. And that's scary to him. Oh, my God. Right. But our writer has threatened. Yeah. And is doing. She's tried everything.

He won't do it. Yeah. I wonder if it's also a case of – do you remember when you were growing up and if your parents hated something oh god yasik just pulled up the picture and yasik you look gross like you look kind of like rapey and stuff thank you sasha yeah she just said you look like a murderer in that picture so find another one if you're trying to like rep that that looks gross that does not look good oh yeah murderer slash rapist oh god gross like seriously like get your own netflix murder special in that no yeah how many people have to tell you nobody liked it look good nobody

liked it so i i like stop trying nobody liked it okay go on yeah this is good this is what i have to look how angry that even just that was like major ptsd for you this is what i have to live with when when i say to him and i think i would know about like i'm not trying to step to him in the garage and being like right fucking when you're doing this with your fucking tools yeah i'm not trying to do that so why why step to me and tell me what looks better on you i i say this all the time yes exactly and then you you come along and you're like and you are a fashion expert you are actually your job is to produce style segments this is what i said all the time and you just set it to yasik's face and he still is like no no but you're wrong no cory says that

when he finds something and he's like, should I buy this? And I go, no, it's fucking hideous. And he goes, you don't know anything.

And I'm like, it's actually my fucking job. I have two jobs that represent that I know what the fuck I'm talking about. That's hideous.

Yeah. Which you've been doing for almost 20 years. Almost 20 years. Yeah. Anyway, look at us. I'm angry now.

Sorry. Anyway, so my point was, do you remember when we were kids or, and we, listen,

I think we still do this now where if our parents are like, if our parents didn't want us to do something, we'd do it more. Of course. I think you might have to try the reverse, like just try the reverse, like, I don't know. Reverse psychology of it, you mean? So to be like, oh, it looks good. Or

just stop caring about it. But she's getting boned, well, not boned by this whole situation because she's withholding something that she probably wants to do too, which is fuck. So she's only fucking killing herself over this as well. I think first attack for this is get the products and if that helps then great it's a win-win for everyone if it isn't working then i think you have to literally sit him down and say like i am not wanting to like i'm i'm unattracted with the beard if cory told me he was unattracted about like a certain hairstyle that i had or something i would change it probably no i most if i cut most most of the things i wear are unattractive to my husband yes but when i'm naked but that's what i was gonna say you can take off

the clothes yeah if i cut myself a fucking bowl cut because i was like this is what i'm gonna do and cory was like i don't like it when you have a bowl cut because i know he respects me and i respect him eventually i would grow my hair out right like i wouldn't do something to upset or turn him off purposely do you know what i mean that's kind of what happens yes yes i mean i i I know. I'm not there with you. Like, I hear what you're saying. I just don't agree.

Yes. That is not my philosophy. Okay. Okay. I want to, I want to get a breast reduction. Okay. And. And Jacek just made the noise that goes, uh-uh.

Yeah. So, would you do, if he says to you, the only reason I haven't done it yet is because of him. I'm afraid of pain. But I heard it really hurts. I'm sure it does. But also, there has to be a percentage there that that would be, like, Jacek wants you to have your big old tits no it does come on do not lie you can give into this no i like not one

percent of that and he knows me too i'm so superficial that like he'll he'll still like the new breasts yeah he will of course exactly exactly but i will i will i will love you know i know we're gonna get so much hate mail from this can we just move on because i know people are gonna be like you're telling laney not to fucking like get a breast reduction just because her husband doesn't want it i don't give a shit nobody asked you um anyway so okay any okay to sum up with the beard please sum up the beard go back to the beer obviously it became about me and us totally why do we do that i hope it helps though go on back to the beard um products the Beard products.

Yep. If that doesn't work. And then more talking, I guess. But I guess, listen, the problem is that they're both being petty, as she said. Yeah. And yes, the products and buying the products would be a gesture of un-pettiness. Correct. That hopefully will lead to more understanding and compromise.

And a conversation about maybe, hey, can we make this last a few more weeks? And then, I don't know. But what if he is like, this is my, this is my life. This is the person. This is my truth. Yeah. The person I was always meant to be is bearded. ZZ.

Listen, I don't know. Just do the fucking products. Yeah. And I'll keep you posted on my breasts. Next and finally, hey, Sasha and Lainey. I have this friend, Clarice, and she and I, I'm a gay man, by the way, met about three years ago. We had a bit of a rocky start, but we've become really good friends.

There's never a quiet moment when we're chilling together, which is often because not only are we good friends, but she's also my neighbor and co-worker. So my question is, how do I tell my friend that even though she's a good friend, I can't handle traveling with her? We both love traveling. When she plans her trips, she almost always invites me and I usually go with her. I really appreciate that since I didn't travel until I moved away from home. However, the more we travel, the more that I'm learning that we have different traveling

styles. Both of us like to plan trips, but while I like to have a proper day-by-day itinerary, she prefers not to be tied down to a schedule, which I respect, to each their own, you know. But I find myself getting antsy if I travel that way. She also tends to bring a lot of emotional baggage when traveling, and that affects me a lot because I'm trying to get away from all the drama, not pack it with me. And I know I'm not a perfect travel partner either, but I also want to try to travel with other people or by myself without feeling as if I have to invite her.

This has happened multiple times already, and I'm not really sure how to bring about the discussion that maybe I don't always want to travel together or at all. Thanks so much for making it thus far, making it this far, and any advice would be real nice. Signed, Troubled with Travel. Love this question. Yeah, this is a good question. I don't want to bring it back to us, but I want to know if we've ever traveled together

and if you think we'd be good travel partners. We just went to France together. Yeah. Thanks for fucking remembering. No. Well, not just. That was literally a whole entire year and a half ago. No, it was in June 2019.

So six months. Thank you. A year and a half. Six months? Really? Okay. I love that. We were watching the Raptors finals.

You're right. You're right. You're right. I love traveling with you. That was our romantic getaway and you made it very special for me. We really, like it was a fucking romance. It was a romance. Yeah.

I think that we would travel well together. I'm trying to think also who I would, who I've traveled with that I don't like traveling with. But I get it. I'm like, when I'm listening to this letter, I'm like, oh my God, I totally get it. There are definitely people in my life that I would not want to travel with for all the reasons that he just listed. Someone who like doesn't want to go do stuff and someone who's just like wants to talk

about emotions the whole entire trip. Yeah. I don't, my question is, does there even have to be a time where you have to bring this up and say, hi friend, I don't want to travel with you very much. Can't you just go do your own thing and not make mention of it? Like don't make it a big deal and then it won't become a big deal. I don't know. I think. What, they're exclusive travel partners? Fuck no. It sounds like the sensitivity meter on people is dialed way up these days because I've been hearing about like, think about it. People get upset when you don't like their Instagram post. Fine. Fine. That

is the day that that is where we live now right so of course it would be a thing um but i also think that the can't we take that back though like why are we having to live in this like instagrammy sensitive life like can't he just go with another group of friends and not invite her like i i'm actually don't know why that that's so not allowed well i actually don't think that But if it's a big group of friends, she can come and then it then becomes easier. It's more awkward. Then you can break off into different groups. Oh, that makes it way more awkward.

Do you think so? Yeah. I would just cut that shit out. Go on like, go on other trips with other people that she doesn't know. And then if she ever was to be like, why didn't you invite me? Be like, oh, well, you don't even know this group of friends. Like, I just thought that would be awkward for everybody. Or you just go on solo trips if that's what, I mean, he mentioned that.

He said that he would like to go on trips on his own. Who's going to fucking knock you for that? He has a really good argument is what I'm saying. Well, but I think that it all comes down to just expressing yourself in a really honest, non-hurtful and be sensitive way. Do tell. So if you, hey, listen, troubled, if you want to go on a trip on your own, plan it and be like, hey, I just need some me time.

Like. Preemptively say that without her even asking. I just, I think I want to go to Peru. I just, I need to be, you know, away for a year, not a year, a week. A whole entire year away from you. A week. And I just, yeah, there are some things I want to think through. Okay.

That one's easy. But how would if he wants, how would if Treble wants to go with another, another person or another group of people? Also, he has to be honest. He has to then tell her that beforehand. I don't agree with that. I just – I think maybe because I'm a little bit older and I'm just so – these days all about, like, putting it on the table and not fucking having to worry about it.

Like, I would just be like, hey, you know, I'm going to go on this trip with so-and-so. We have similar tribal styles and, you know, I just kind of want a trip that's, like, really planned out this time. Like, you know, I really want to be a – like, I schedule boss. Right. Okay. And I know you're not into that so much. Like you kind of, you know, like to do the relaxed thing, but we're going to Croatia

and Prague and Poland. And so I, it's, and we only have like- It's a heavy itinerary. Yeah. We only have four days. So I really want to hit things. And you just put it out there. Hey, I don't want to make things weird between us, but here's the thing.

I want to go to these places and the day is really stacked. Like, look at the research I've done. Oh my God. this is so much explaining to me this i'm but isn't over explaining better than under explaining yes but i actually just don't my my take on this is you don't have to fucking explain shit to anybody if you want to go do something and you're not trying to actually harm somebody then that person the way they feel about that shit is fucking on them sasha this is their good friends their co-workers and their neighbors they're up in each other's faces all the time

Listen, he's allowed to be like, hey, friend, I'm going to fucking Croatia, Prague and Poland next week. And then if she has to or if she's sensitive about it, that's fucking her problemo. He's do everything he's doing is above board. If she wants to come at him later and say that really hurt my feelings. Well, then I think you could be like, A, it shouldn't hurt your fucking feelings. B, I'm sorry that it does, but I'm entitled to go out. Don't you think that he's asking, he took the time to write to us because it would hurt her feelings?

Like if he, I don't know, I feel like he's being sensitive and like a kind human and he's trying to like not hurt her potential feelings. But who's to say her feelings would be hurt? Fine. They're probably going to be, but I don't think you need to act. I don't think you actively have to tell somebody your wishes and desires for world travel before you fucking book a flight. Fucking book your flight.

And if she has issues with it, then you can deal with it. It just feels like you're, it's, I don't know. It all feels very kowtowie if you have to be like, oh, so sorry. Could I please go on this vacation?

It's not kowtowie. Fuck that. It's all in the way you say it. Like it's a courtesy. I mean, listen, troubled. These are two different approaches. Yeah. Clearly, Sasha and I agree.

Clearly, I'm on my period. Yeah. A little bit aggro today. Sasha's like, you know, you do you. Yes, you do you. And you don't owe anybody any answers or explanations. And I'm like, over-explain it.

It's never bad to basically come to the table with all of your, all the things that you're thinking about and, and still be able to hopefully have a really good discussion and have an understanding and then be able to go on your trip. Okay. I, yes, I, those are two strategies. I just don't think you need to ask permission. And it felt like you would have to ask permission to go live your life. I don't like that.

Fine. So let us know what you decide. Yes. And where you're going. Yeah. We can come or go with our first writer who has like that cheapo frugal boyfriend who doesn't ever want to go. You two should hook up.

The reason why we, you and I travel together well though is because you and I both peace out. Like there was an understanding. Yes. There was an understanding between us that like basically we're like, hey, so after dinner bye. Yeah. Well, let's hang out with these activities and then let's not see each other for 12 hours.

It's true. Yeah. There was an understanding. Like we couldn't get away from each other fast enough. No. No, but in a good way. It was like, oh, we've just spent like, I don't know, six hours together and it was nice.

We went on a hike and yeah, we bonded. We had a beautiful romantic – But we enjoyed our space. Yes. But fine. Yeah. Yeah. Can we go on another trip?

That would be nice. I felt like a real lady on that trip. You treated me real good. Yeah. You really did. It was a real romance. It really was. I felt like a real lady.

Well, you know what? you didn't give up. You didn't put out. I didn't put out. I'm sorry. Next time. Next time when I put out, then we're going to do that party

where I show you my fucking vulva. How about that? Yes. Great. That's our next trip. That's our show. Yeah. Keep your questions coming to me

at Sasha at LaineyGossip.com. And don't forget, subscribe to us wherever you get your podcasts. Leave comments and reviews. I know we say this all the time. I read all the reviews. But Sasha reads all the reviews.

and also we love doing this and we want to keep doing this, which means, you know, you need to keep us in business. Yes, we need someone to listen to us. Speaking of putting everything on the table and communicating, we're desperado. Totally. We will be taking a week off. Okay. Are we? We are. Okay, good to know. Talk about communication. yeah okay we're taking a week off because we uh i have some travel coming up uh but um maybe we can squeeze it in we'll be back in two weeks yeah we'll be back in a couple weeks until then bye