What's Your Drama - Non-emoting Meghan Markle & Canning Someone's Ass

Episode Date: May 23, 2018

Welcome back to the Sasha Answers Podcast.On today's show: Everyone on the site has been able to voice their opinions on Meghan Markle and now it's my turn. I need to know why I didn't see any emotion but a stale smile from Meghan. TELL ME! WHY!????!!! And after that we get to the most important stuff - your questions: when it's time to give up the dick dream, how/when to fire someone, and finally, we get into some tit support talk.Thanks for tuning and keep your feedback/questions coming to me at [e-mail] and hit us up on twitter at @sasha_tong and @laineygossip and Instagram at @lostandfoundapothecary and @laineygossip. And of course on iTunes, Google Play, and Spotify. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

hi it's laney hi and welcome to the laney gossip podcast for sasha answers and i have to say you surprised me you and duanna both surprised me because i didn't expect either of you to be as interested in the royal wedding as you are i'm also surprised at myself because i really could have given two shits come Friday, even Saturday morning. And now I feel like that's all I want to talk about. So I barged into your office today and was like, I know that you talked with Duanna on the podcast about Meghan Markle, but I want to talk to her again. This needs to be a part two. Yes, please. Can I also first just open up? This is how despo I am. Do you know what I'm going to pull out of my backpack right now? Okay, what? I stole the cookie tin that you brought

to work to give cookies to to people and it's the what is this from okay so i brought you know as a souvenir for our our staff like our teams um i brought uh like is it marks the spark he's like memorabilia cookie tins that say um i can't believe you were the one who got it like i i thought that someone else would take off with it because it's actually quite pretty it's beautiful yeah so i can't eat the cookies because i can't eat gluten or dairy so why don't you hold it up and I can put it on InstaStory so people can see. Can I? I don't want my face to be in there.

Can we just hold that? Yeah. Can I put it over my face? Okay. Like, I don't know why you have to be so fucking weird, but we are InstaStorying while we are podcasting. So in three, two, one, there. Okay.

We are podcasting Sasha Answers right now and Sasha stole this. Well, I brought this back from England and then Sasha stole it from work where I brought it to everyone. Yes. Anyway, so this is – I can't believe I stole a fucking cookie tin. That's how into it I am. And I want to talk to you about Megan's dress that we saw her in today.

This was her first appearance after the wedding. And you wrote about it and I just want to also talk about it because I'm worried. I really would like to get your fashion opinion because you know you're our fashion person on the site so why don't we start with the wedding dress with the wedding dress um I think we both share the same feelings which is that it wasn't what we would have hoped for the veil was I would like the crown was gorgeous but let's just talk about the dress the dress yeah no and JLo has the same dress as she did in the wedding planner you know it's a bit disappointing you know what i mean like it was a bit disappointing

but and and sadly a bit ill-fitting as people have noted i was reading that there were only five seams in the whole entire gown right so five seams probably is hard to tighten where you need to tighten yeah and i think that that's where we saw the problemos was in the fit and then today when she made her big outing, that fucking, nobody, you don't ever, you should never wear a dress that looks like extra skin. Yeah. That's not a good thing. That dress was trash.

We're talking about the dress that Meghan Markle wore in her first official appearance after the wedding, which was at Prince Charles's garden party at Buckingham Palace. And it was like off-whitey. They called it rose. I was like, I don't see any rose, but whatever. Off-whitey. whitey, and then sheer top and sleeves. It was trash.

Yes, it was very, very bad. And also, again, really ill-fitting. What did you think of her wedding gown? Her wedding, listen, I think the centerpiece of the whole look, I like the look, like what they were trying to go for, like the medieval headpiece with the cathedral-length veil. I fucking love a cathedral-length veil. Like, I'm all about that. I wish I could have done that.

It was just, I, you know, in Vancouver, you just can't get away with that. In November, you can't. But as we've talked about in previous podcasts, you're going to do another wedding. So we'll have that for you. So I do think the dress was meant to be super simple. Like the dress was not the focus. The veil was the focus. Like they talk about how long it took to make and the 53 flowers, whatever.

Apparently, every 30 minutes, the people had to wash their hands. Yeah. Like that is, that's where they put in the effort, right? Like the effort clearly wasn't in the dress. The effort was in the veil. So I'm down with that. But like that material, it looked like armor. Do you know what I mean?

It looked like a, or from some angles, it looked like scuba suiting. Oh, really? Do you know what I mean? Like thick and that it doesn't bend the right way. So I was, you know, whatever. I did not like the Stella McCartney thing that she changed into, the halter.

Oh, you didn't? No, I didn't like it. But again, it was also ill-fitting. I feel like she must have lost a bunch of weight leading up to the wedding due to her probably crazy-ass family. Yeah. And then people were like, oh, fuck. Like, we can't – you would think that they could fucking tighten where they needed to

tighten, but they clearly did not because everything since the wedding day has been not fitting her properly. Yeah, maybe. I just personally didn't like the cut of that Stella McCartney. I thought the collar was too thick or something, like too high up. Anyway, so I have not liked any – not that it fucking matters. Since she beat a duchess, you have not enjoyed any of her fashion. Wedding day to now, I have not enjoyed any of her fashion.

And now it's forcing us to actually consider, have we ever enjoyed her fashion? You've covered her – so to go back, you have been covering Meghan Markle and producing segments on Meghan Markle since before she met Prince Harry. Yes. On eTalk. Yes. So let's, you have like a fashion archive.

You probably have produced the most extensive Meghan Markle archive in the world. Like we always say at eTalk. Oh, I love that title. No, but like, let's be honest. Nobody fucking cared. Nobody fucking cared pre-October 2016, which is not that long ago.

However, eTalk started covering her around 2013. Like we have three years of archived footage of Meghan Markle, which is, again, my point, the most extensive in the world because Access Hollywood, Entertainment Tonight, nobody else would have fucking cared about Meghan Markle pre-October 2016. But she, because she was based in Toronto and our show is based in Toronto and we cover local entertainment, we were out there interviewing her like every fucking two months. A hundred thousand percent. So let's talk about her fashion. Well, her fashion – I mean, the thing is, the chick is fucking stunning. And there was no – like, there was no more proof of that on the wedding day. Her face is fucking delicious.

Yeah. Everything is so perfect. Like, I want to lick it. Yeah. So when you see her, she could – you know, people always say that, but she could literally wear a fucking garbage bag and you'd be like, fuck, that looks fucking good. Her body's banging. You know, everything about her is gorgeous.

Is she some sort of fashion noteworthy person over the years? No. No. No, she's not doing anything cutting edge. There's nothing like interesting. But like her casual wear, she looks good. She looks good in a pair of jeans and a t-shirt and a leather jacket. You know, like, but that's it. But any of us can do that. But that's what I fucking love about this. What's been so interesting about this whole wedding is that Meghan Markle is so in our backyard that it's freaky to me that she is a princess. So watching that, I was just like, what the fuck is going on?

And if you're on, you know, I was on Instagram and there's so many thirsty people in Toronto just posting every picture they've ever had with Meghan Markle. Like anybody who's done her hair, anybody who's like seen her backstage somewhere, where everyone was posting pictures of her, like, congratulations, I hope you have such a special day. So she is just like this, she, you know, she is just like a regular chick. So nothing was actually very interesting about her until literally, like, the last six months. Right. Nothing's all that interesting. And leading up to it, you're right, like, all of the stuff that

she's chosen, yes, it looks nice, but she's not… Well, I liked one thing, which is, I think it was an Alexander McQueen black tuxedo that she wore. Do you remember that? That is, yeah, she wore it to give a speech or to give an award. She was with Prince Harry. And that was, I was like, I really like this suit. I'm super into, like, the fact that she's willing to wear pants.

Yes. I just hate the fucking cut of those goddamn pants. We've talked about it before. I know, the big elephant voluminous ones. I think she's trying to figure out what she wants to do. Like I think we're going to see a few stumbles because I don't think she actually knows who she wants to be fashion wise right now because she's kind of all over the place. She was very, she's always been quite casual and maybe like a bit of like a cocktail dresser.

But like now, like this is a whole other fucking level. Well, I didn't even like the engagement portrait dresses. I didn't mind them. Like that Ralph and Russo was so fucking Oscars 2011. You know, it was so. And at the time, I'm like, Prince Harry proposed to you. You could call up anyone. You can call up at this point, I don't know, whoever.

Like, and say, give me your best. And they would be like, okay. You could call up Karl Lagerfeld. Like, he would be like. Oh, he'll dress her to Chanel. No problem. And he's a fucking cunt. And he would be like, yeah, okay, Chanel, we'll give you.

But that Ralph and Russo was so, I don't know, It was just so cheesy. You're right. It is a bit past tense. But still, I still think she looked – this is what I'm saying, though. She looks fucking good in everything. 100%. Like, she, as we have just said, I want to lick her face.

Yeah. She's so fucking pretty. And she's never going to – well, except for the dress today at the garden party. That was a big ass mess. Like, bullshit. Like, I was almost angry. Yeah. Like, I wrote that post and I was like, I'm fucking mad.

Because why is this happening? And you were right about the stockings. Oh, fuck. like and that's made me think oh god the royals are so fucking you know white they can't even fucking find a pair of like potential caramel leggings yeah tights like it was so bullshit but you know also that's their whole shit with the stockings and whatnot like when i was in london last week uh shooting all all kinds of content for etalk one of the people i interviewed with was like this etiquette expert and he he was super I mean like I'm talking tightest ass

judgy bitch ever and what's that the tea person okay sorry go on he was super super I mean the most proper I I so proper that I feel like maybe he was offended by me because I wasn't you know I wasn't white yeah and he was when I asked him about the stocking thing he he was like uh yes stocking like it was so a thing like that you couldn't even argue it you know he didn't even want to joke about it because I was trying to make jokes do you know what I mean like I was trying to be like are you sure like you know we've evolved we don't need those can we just get rid of them do you know fashion like can I just tell you something because like on runways nobody's wearing these stockings and if you are arguing with paris fashion week then maybe you're a little

bit not with it and he was not he was not accepting he was not having any of that even um the legs crossing thing you know she'll never be able to like in public if her legs are exposed or whatever cross her legs the way we do any ankles they have to cross the ankles or like side sweep them and i was like are you serious because like you know why it doesn't have to happen and he his answer was just like, this is just the way. I'm like, fuck your way. Like that was what I was saying to him. And he, he was super judgy. He made me feel small in a sense. He was, I actually, I made a joke about whatever. I was like, oh, I can't not cross, like not cross my legs. And he, and he said something like, well, we'll find a way to correct you.

I'm surprised you didn't fucking like eat his ass for being such a douche. Oh, I, like, if I, I think we had to, I mean, he wasn't a douche. He was just so up his ass with properness, but a bullshit kind of properness. Like, it's not math. Someone somewhere set these bullshit rules. It's not like science. It's just that they wrote it down on a piece of paper and decided this is how we do things if we're proper. Like, it doesn't have to be upheld.

I agree. I was this close to chewing with my mouth open, like, in his face. I was, oh, yes. I wish you had have. I wish you had have. Can I – I want to take – I want to open this discussion to our listeners because – and I want to know what you thought because I don't want to be a bitch. The wedding was beautiful, great.

I don't think we're being bitchy. No, no, no. I'm moving into next phase of potential bitch right now. Oh, yeah. Here's where maybe people may not be on side with you. Yes. And I just want to know what people thought because I really felt that Prince Harry was like so emotional at that wedding.

He had to wipe some tears away. You know, when guys get emotional, sometimes those dudes who don't show emotion, they look like they're taking a giant shit in their pants because they're just holding in all that emotion. You can see it in their face and it's just so wonderful and oh, so great. I was a little bit weirded out that Meghan Markle like didn't crack once. You mean cry. Okay.

Maybe I didn't need liquid pouring down her eyes, but I wanted to see some sort of real emotion. I saw emotion. Okay. Tell me. Do tell. When did you see that? I saw emotion like when he lifted her veil and she looked up at him. I felt like she was like, wow.

She was, I love that. I saw emotion in her face when she saw him for the first time and she was like, hi. Did you see the little hi? Yeah, she kind of shook her head like… Yeah, I saw that emotion. And I saw genuine emotion when she was listening to the sermon. I mean, how could you not feel emotion when like… That's fair.

See, that's what I'm saying. You saw that. That was like undeniable because like you can't not feel real emotion. I'm not saying that she's not in love with Prince Harry, okay? I'm not saying that. I'm just saying that maybe she's not in love with Rosario. No, she is. But I just, I felt, I thought that it was slightly strange. I didn't need waterworks. I didn't need a whole fucking thing. But when you're walking down the aisle and you are a fucking no joke commenter, like you and

me, Lainey, she is like straight off, you know, like she is no different than us. She is that whole, you know, people magazine. They're just like us. She really is just like us. um just being like totally taken by the grandioseness of that fucking event I would get like choked up I would get choked up looking at my fucking husband down the aisle I would also maybe get choked up that like I have a really fucked up family and like all this crazy shit happened leading up to it like something would have broken me I think something would have broken any other human being, the fact that it didn't actually shook me and made me scared. I feel like that chick is, there is some strategy going down.

Oh. We dedicated an entire Show Your Work podcast to her strategy and her work. I love it. I'm here for it. Okay. I will say this. I don't, I didn't need any more emotion from her. I was like, I love that wedding.

I loved it from top to tail. Everything was great to me. Except like, you know, whatever, the dress. Yeah. But the veil, the whole look of it. I loved it so much. Loved it. And I was like, I really also loved the decor.

Like, I love that she didn't go overboard and flowers, like a fucking forest didn't puke in the church. Yes, totally. I just do think it's interesting, this assessment of yours, because if a dude doesn't cry at a wedding, like, we're not going to doubt how he feels about her. Do you know what I mean? Again, it didn't have to be tears, but sometimes you can just feel emotion. I felt like everything was- Kate didn't cry. But her voice wavered.

Like, she was nervous. And again, I'm not looking for that. There was- You would have some element of goddamn fucking nerves. And she could not- She's an actress, sure. But let's be real. She's a fucking B-list actress.

But isn't that amazing that she wasn't overwhelmed by the moment that she was just present? That scares me. That makes me think something else. That doesn't- And maybe it's because I'm like a really- Am I a bad person that I can't just believe in pure Disneyland love like you just saw? But I just, I'm, there's something that like, it scared me. I was like, oh, this doesn't feel 100,000% genuine.

Can I just leave it at that? Yeah, we'll leave it at that. Can people just like, let me know what they think if they agree with me? Mostly if they agree with me, I would love to hear from you. But also if you disagree. Got it. Mostly if you agree. Got it.

Ready? Yes. Okay. Okay. So here are this week's questions. Hi, Sasha and Lainey. I recently got a pretty big promotion and now manage a team of 11 journalists. Wow.

This is amazing. Can you hire me? As someone who likes working alone, management is quite challenging for me, but I saw it as a job I couldn't turn down in terms of progression. I recently hired a new writer for the team, and two weeks in, I can see some big problems developing. Her personality is quite annoying. I know it's awful, but it's the only way I can describe it.

telling long, irrelevant, boring stories at the desk, patronizing other writers, constantly laughing out loud at her laptop until she's asked what's funny, and being obsessive about freebies. We all work very closely as a team of writers, and I can see the other writers bristling in a big way, coming in a little later, leaving a little earlier, less talk at the table, drop in work ethic, etc., etc. I feel like the team are disappointed in me for hiring her, and they've lost a little passion. In our meetings, her comments are never helpful, and she always manages to piss someone off. Her work is fine, but not great by any standards, and I've had a word with her about trying

to blend in with her peers, but it's a difficult one to articulate without sounding like Regina George. I'm also very aware that she's not a bad person. She's not mean or malicious at all. She's just incredibly annoying. Can you ask someone to be less annoying? Since her arrival, everything has gone downhill. Our numbers, morale, etc.

I really feel like I need to fire her, but am I being mean? I'm losing sleep over this. Please help. Thanks, Anne, not my real name. Okay, Anne. Anne, first of all, welcome to management. Yeah. I'm not there with you and this is why.

Yeah. It's hard. It's hard being on top and also leading a team. But I think as a leader, that's what you need to do. You need to lead and you need to look at the team that you've created and make sure that it's a functional one and it's a happy one and it's a productive one. And it's hard though. I get it, right? Because this person that you've hired isn't a bad person. And as you've said, she's annoying. But the thing here is she's bringing everyone's fucking buzz down and

everybody's productivity down. And that's just like, for me, that's a no-brainer. You know, you've got to kick her to the curb, which is sad. But it's also really important for you as a manager to kind of, I think, detach from situations like that and not get too emotional when you do have to let someone go. I mean, it sucks to be you, but you have to do it. I mean, I think that this is why I'm not a manager. Like I, you know, I'm, I'm actually, it's not, I'm not good at it. I'm good at- What are you talking about? You are the biggest, bossiest boss. No, I mean, like we, Jessica and I are defined, like you're very, very, very, very acutely, like, acutely aware of what you want your brand to be, what you want the website

to be, and the people working for it. But I don't manage people. I don't have to deliver performance reviews. Like, that is not what we do here. Editorially, sure, I'll say, hey, Sarah, can you write a post about this? And I edit the work. But I'm not, like, I'm not at Sarah's workplace in Chicago, basically monitoring what time she comes in and all that. It's all purely editorial. So this, that's why, like I have, you know, managing looks hella shitty to me. And I know managers, I have friends who are pretty high up, and I look at their jobs and the drama that they have to deal with, and I don't know how.

I don't know how. No, I don't either. But yeah, I think it's like this fine balance of, you know, and I said like don't get too emotional, but it's like detaching but not detaching so much that you become like a cold hard bitch and you don't sound like one, right? Like I feel like, you know, you're being very protective about this person. You're, you know, you're grappling over the fact that she is a good person that you just hired or all that kind of stuff.

But I do think really as a manager, what is first and foremost is that your, whatever, your productivity level is fucking on point. How long has it been? Did she say two weeks recently? Oh, okay. What did she say? Yeah. I recently hired a new writer for the team and two weeks in I can see some big problems.

So it's only been two weeks. Yeah. Well, listen, I don't know what the ins and outs of this workplace is, but the first thing I would do, like I don't know if I would go to kicking to the curb immediately. But what are you going to do? Drag that shit out and then everyone's so miserable? Well, my first thing is I would go back, Anne, and I would take a look at the resume and reflect back on the interview. Like, the thing is, is that Anne hired this person for a reason.

So did all of those things that she saw disappear or were they, was it faked? Like, I just want to know, like, to me, I want Ann to make a decision that she can live with, right? Because she's like, am I a bad person? I don't want to be a bad person. So we have to prepare Ann to look like, to go through the steps to make sure that Ann feels really good about what she's doing. So the first thing you do is you start at the beginning.

What did I see in this person? Was I now wrong? Was it, was what I thought I saw actually not there? Was it misrepresented? So I would recommend you going back to the beginning and seeing what you saw there. And number two, afterwards, after that reassessment, seeing if there's anything that's salvageable. Like, can she work from home? Can she work from home?

Or in that interview, what did she say? I work best in these conditions and those conditions haven't been met. Like, you do have to have an assessment that way. But don't you think one of the big, like you can have everything on paper, right? And when it comes to like coming into the office and actually seeing that work level, you can, it's like, it doesn't match. But also I think that so many companies now we're seeing are hiring and fostering people and like who they are.

And then you can teach them all the other shit. For sure. And so that for me is like, it almost needs to be on your fucking CV. Like, are you a fucking normal, legit person who can work with other people? Yes. Like, that should be something that you can deliver. Yes. Because that characteristic, I think, trumps a whole bunch of other things.

I agree. So for me, that's why I'm like, fine. Like, yes, of course, you should do your due diligence. You should go back. You should write your fucking pros and cons list. But at the end of the day, you're probably going to kick her to the curb because you can't have someone who's disruptive like that. Disruptive in that kind of like outwardly annoying way, but also disruptive in the fact

that you're ruining everybody else's work. yeah but you also can't do things without giving people chances yes and you're correct about that so so how do you ever been with someone like right off like and right off the bat being like they suck they're not good yeah so like sometimes that's all you need is that kind of gut guttural like fuck this person is the shit which is why i want ann to be able to like in her decision be able to look at everything in a 360 way from the beginning and then sort of roll back or roll forward, sorry, then like over the last two weeks, how this person now meets up with the person who walked in the door in the first place. And it's been two weeks. I say you have to at least give

it a month. Right. So by the time you listen to it, this probably it will have been a month. and in that month, in the next two weeks, I actually wonder after you have gone back and looked at the interview and looked at the resume, if you might want to talk to, and I also don't know what HR is, right? Like what, what is the HR policy there in terms of termination? Well, most people are on that kind of, what's it called when you're just on a trial? Yeah. Probationary period. Yeah. Probation period usually lets you can their ass if you need to. But what we're getting at here and what you're describing is culture. Yes. That is the word. It's workplace culture. And some people fit into a culture and some people can't. My concern here is has the

culture been explained to her? And I get it. Sometimes you just feel out a culture and you integrate yourself into the culture. And that's, listen, that's what the dream is. But you know You know what? Not everybody has those instincts. So to be fair in this world, sometimes culture has to be explained. I think that is the tricky job of being a manager. You have to have awkward conversations. And that's why I don't envy anybody who's a manager and I don't envy Ann because ultimately, Ann, whether or not you fire her, and even if you do fire her and you're firing her on grounds of workplace culture, you're going to have to explain, hey, listen, Jodi or whatever the person's name is. Our culture here is this. This is how we work. This is sort of what we've

established as the team culture and the team vibe. Do you think that this is something that you can be a part of and would you like to continue to be a part of it because this is how it is and you're, you know, we don't want the culture here to change. Like, that has to be articulated in some way. You're right. And listen, if this was just on the merit of her being a wacky girl, like a wacky employee, then of course, no, I wouldn't say fire her ass because, yeah, you do, at least the first step should be like, hey, Jodi, yeah, like we don't take freebies like fucking like yeah like you know exactly obsessive hoarders yeah um you know i need you to kind of like you know everyone's working in open space need you to keep it down of course you would have

those allowances and talk to her about it but what's interesting with what ann's saying is that like this she's not even great at her job you know like her writing is it's seemingly quite subpar it's no she said it's fine well fine isn't great you know if you're working with a small team of fucking journalists you you need to be hiring kind of the cream of the crop but yes i get what you're saying. I do, I do agree. There needs to be some more thought to this. There needs to at least be an attempt to see if you can curb her kind of outward behavior. Yeah. But you know. That's the work of a manager. Like, you know. Sometimes I always dream about being like a boss of a team of three or something. I always have that in my mind. That would be really hard because I don't

want to get real with people. You know what reality is though? It's reality is in any workplace as a manager, whatever, like you are dreaming if everybody who walks in the door is going to fit the perfect mold. Like people have to be given a chance to rise to your expectation. I think it's completely unrealistic. Like, you know, I know this is not what you're saying, but I think that in any workplace, if you are expecting that everybody you hire is going to be 100 from day one. Of course not. That is not where we are. So to me, I think that two weeks, give it a month, go back and look at the interview, go back and look at the resume, and then you're going to have to gird up as a manager and have your first awkward conversation with

Jodi, an employee. And this is what's shitty about, but hey, look, you're getting paid more. Yeah. And you're like a boss. Yeah. It's great on your resume. So this is just part of one part of the job that's going to suck, but everything else is great. And those are kind of the learning curves too, you know, like it's a learning curve for Anne to like, you know, figure out how she can be a better manager as well. Yes. And remember, ultimately you are the boss. Like you do get to call people in and say, hey, here, can we work on these things, please? But Anne, keep us posted because I actually do think you're going to kick her to the curb. So I'm curious to know when and how you do it. Okay. Next. Hi, Sasha Laney. I've been spinning my wheels on this for about a month

now. One night in mid-February, I met up with my friend and her executive producers for drinks after work, and it turned into the three of us bar hopping, which turned into me wanting to bring him home to hang out. We went back to my pad pretty smashed and did not have sex, but did a number of exercises that would put 50 shades of gray to shame. Girl, okay. The next day, he stayed till midday and we did some more stuff and would show affection the way a guy would show to his GF, kisses on the back, kissing with morning breath, and he took down my number before he left, which I scoffed at because I'm that chick who laughs everything off as if it's no big deal.

You should work on that. Go on. After that, I realized he had stayed to hang out because he liked hanging out with me. He had other options that night on the west side to hang with his friends, but hung out with us all night. The next day, my friend tells me he's a really good guy, newly out of a relationship. I didn't ask anything further except for his number. I waited three weeks, then I texted him to see how everything was going, and we had a

pleasant convo, which I cut off at a point to not seem as if I had nothing happening that day. I went to hang out with my friends and struck up the convo again that night, asking how he likes to unwind, and he said he liked unwinding in my bed, which then it turned into… Let me just… I want to take this again. Everybody, keep this in, Jacek, because I just want to make a point. I want this to get real, like real horny.

You're going to get porno on me. Oh, God. Okay. I went to hang out with my friends and struck up the convo again that night asking how he likes to unwind. And he said he liked unwinding in my bed, which then turned into us sexting till I passed out at 1 a.m. Side note, I had messaged a few execs for work because I'm a freelancer and one email's

back saying he's staffed up, but I should stay in touch with his head of production, which ends up being the guy I took home. So this story gets interesting twofold. I love that you made us pause so that you could deeply say that part again. Yet it was less, it was no more erotic, just so you know. Okay, feeling this now. Really liking this story. Two weeks go by and I asked him on a rainy Friday to have a drink

and he was prepping to shoot all weekend. I made other plans and then he texted saying he was trying to get out early to spend time with me and how funny it was that we were looped in by the other exec to meet. I make a joke about wanting to get to know him and not his work life. Long story short, we don't end up hanging because he gets out too late and he texts the next morning to see how my night turned out. I end up texting him again the next Sunday and without being a nag, it comes up from

him that we need to set a time to hang, but he's been scouting all weekend. When I had met him, I remember him looking at his phone saying, God, I have four shows in the works. I guess I can't complain about work. Another week goes by and I'm super confused because I haven't heard a peep. I text him up again and say something cheekily about how if he's nervous, then we can just meet for coffee. He ends up texting later saying he just got into town and he's not nervous, but it's

about finding time. And then we end up sexting again and he's saying all the things he wants to do to me. He's super receptive to all our convos, doesn't do the whole, I'm going to wait three days to respond thing. And we have these fun convos, but then don't all week and out of the four times I've messaged him, he's initiated once. Also, I checked his Instagram and his last post was a work one a year ago And he hasn't taken any of the photos down of his ex

Her Facebook has one photo from years ago of them together But she's also not a huge poster I'm not sure if he's hung up on his ex It doesn't seem that way with how he says we're going to do this or that together And yet I haven't heard from him in 12 days Is he like waiting for an open weekend for us to hang and have this crazy BDSM night? Or is he out of sight, out of mind? For some reason, I don't think it's the ex really

but in general, just dating or even fucking might be daunting for him. He works in TV, so I could have hit a bad spot. But what are you waiting for? And aren't the guys the ones who are supposed to be doing the chasing? People tell me that's the dark ages of dating. I don't know. I'm sure this is super confusing and incoherent. Love you, ladies.

I just needed to get this off my chest with a chance for an outside perspective. Thanks, Roxy. Oh. Roxy. I love this. This is going to be short. This is totally going to be short. I love that she just spiraled.

Roxy, slow your roll. Totally. oh my gosh okay clearly whatever exercises you did that one time like digmatized you you are you have a case of the dick yeah and i'm like can't even push out the words just because she just said so many words in that email um a slow her roll which is what you just said yeah b it's not gonna happen i don't think he's i don't he's not down for the cause. I don't think that, I know that you're saying, you know, in your mind, I think you're probably just like, I just want to get my fucking pussy sucked. I want to just fucking like get all

fucking handcuffed and all that kind of stuff. But I think our reader, I think our writer here actually is very, as you said, digmatized and also loves him a bit and wants something more. And I think the signs are very clear that he is… Well, he's down to sext once in a while. Once in a while. After a late night at work and he's like, let me just fucking jerk off and this is going to be fun. And he needs, he just doesn't want to do it. Like he needs some inspo.

Sure. And she's there. Yeah, exactly. So he's into it. But I, yeah, I, I agree with you here. I think that he probably would be down when he has a free night to do exercises again. Like. I love that we're calling it exercises.

But I don't know that he is. Yeah. I don't know that he's… He's not in it to win it. Yeah. He's, like, I don't even think… This sounds like a kind of, like, he might even be sexting other people too. Yeah.

Yes. And I think when anybody… I have a really good friend who started dating a guy and it was, like, hot and heavy right off the bat. And then recently he, like, just totally went MIA. And what was his reason? Work, work, work. And yes, people are busy.

Yes. we both work in TV. Things get really chaotic. But if you want to see somebody, if you want to make a plan with somebody, you are capable of doing so no matter how busy your schedule is. And the fact that he hasn't made time to see you face to face, the fact that it's been 12 days since you've talked to him, the fact that out of the four times that you guys texted, he only texted you once is just proof. The proof is there, right? He doesn't hate you. He doesn't hate you.

He had fun with you. Yes. And he has fun with you over text, sex, whatever. But that's it. Yeah. And so you should see it as that too. Next time you're bored and you want to get off, text him and be like, my hand's down like in my pants.

Let's go. Right. Right. Whatever. Just see. But if you're looking for anything serious like dinner, no. Yeah. Dinner's not on the table.

What's on the table is maybe in a few weeks. Him feeding you his dick. Yeah. Via your phone. Yeah. Or maybe he shows up like on a random Tuesday because he got off early and is like, I want to get off inside of you. And great. And that's how you should see it. But why not? He's so much fun. If our writer is that easy breezy and all she wants to do is fucking, you know, take a bite out of that shit every once in a while, then of course, yeah, use him the same

way he's using you. However, if you can get real with yourself for a second and if you're looking for more, like if you're actually in your life looking for a relationship and you were looking at him like, oh, he could be an interesting prospect for a boyfriend potential, then don't go there. He's already disappointing. You know, he's already disappointed you and you're just, if you start getting back into the whole sexting stuff again, it will fuck with your mind. And the reason why I can tell is you literally just like gave us a fucking opening to the

cavernous of your brain and how it was fucking spiraling. I don't know. I'm being selfish. I like the sexting. I know you do. I know you do. But for her own well-being, that's not good for her. Can we just, I, can you just, can we just see the screencaps?

Of his dick? No, fuck no. Oh, of the sexting. Yeah. I want to see what his like lines are. Oh my God. Fine. If you want to send that to Lainey.

Can we share that? Please. By all means, send it directly to Lainey's email. I think other people might like advice on like, hey, I want to sext a guy, you know, but I don't know where to start. That could be a fun. That's a good one. Okay, I'm into that.

But for the purposes of this writer, she shouldn't be getting anywhere near this. Yeah, Roxy, yeah, he's just down to have fun on his time and dime. So you pick up those hints, and if you're not going to get emotionally invested, great. If you are, though, as Sasha said, peace out. Yeah. Okay, next question. Okay, last question. Last question is, oh, I don't even have a name here.

How on earth do you get away with sports bras and bralettes avec large breasts? Avec is with in French. I want to live that clasp-free life but still have support and look cute and go. So she wants to know, because I think you recently talked about the fact that you don't wear bras anymore with clasps, which people need intel on. well i'm just not sure like i i don't have small breasts i know and that's why she's fucking writing she's wondering how you have large fucking tits and you can still pack it into a sports bra well okay well first of all i have two sets of sports bras so i have sports bras that fit quite tight and those are the ones i wear when i'm working out or running because

like it hurts right if you know i wouldn't know but i understand what are you talking about you work out too. I don't have fucking big tits. So it's like, cool. I can just like fucking go care for you, hate you. Okay. So I wear like the super tight ones and they hold them in so that when I'm bouncing up and down, there's like support. No impact. But then I also buy sports bras that are one size bigger. Oh, okay. So, you know, you loop them over the head. There's no clasp. and but are you saying you wear sports bras

like that under your like your dresses like when you go to and you're shooting the show that's what you wear so it's more comfortable because like

a sports bra when it's performing has to fit tight yes and that can give you a neck like like I

it's so tight right and you only want it just when you're exercising but when you get a loose sports bra oh my god the comfort

right because they get to breathe a bit yeah but don't they how well because I think this is what's interesting what she's saying is Don't they sag or don't they go sausagey?

Like, how do they look nice in things? Because sports bras don't, like, give definition. Listen, you know how we were talking about etiquette and how it's not math? Yeah. So you don't want to fucking wear tights, don't wear pantyhose, whatever. I feel like breast look is also about preference. There's no prescribed way that breasts should look. For instance, some people like them up and separated.

I like a uni-boob. You do. I do. I prefer on me the look of a uni-boob. I do not need anybody to see the definition between A and B. It should be said that you don't wear anything low cut. Everything is either like seemingly a turtleneck, a mock neck, a crew neck. Nothing.

I won't even wear a V-neck. I've never seen below your like trachea. I hate a V-neck even. Like everything is a scoop neck. Wow. That is the opposite of me. Or a button down. Right.

I'm looking at you right now. You're like, yeah, you're V'd. I need a big old fucking chest show. But even when, so yeah, so I don't have that concern because people are like, oh, uniboob and your breasts are jammed together. I don't have that problem because I don't dress like that. So I guess to answer the question, what happens is when I wear a sports bra that is one size up, yes, the breasts hang lower.

They flatten out. A sport, a bigger sports bra, a sports bra that is one size up will flatten you out because your breasts are lower and it creates a flatness. That sounds so unattractive to me. And I prefer my breasts looking like that. I do not look, I do not like the look of a breast that is up and separated. Okay. I love a breast that's lifted and separated.

So, and I also like to live the clasp free life. um there was a bra that was um it was called the easy bra at victoria secret and i'm not a victoria secret person at all but it is fucking amazing there was no underwire either but for some reason just the way that the stitching was it like like just lifted everything up like a sports bra and you could wear like a low neck or whatever because it looked like you had fucking tits as opposed to a unit tit um but they discontinued that however um i saw that this was the letter we were going to read. And so if you want to check out the, um, there's, it looks exactly the same. I can't say that I've tried it, but it looks identical to the easy bra from

Victoria's Secret. It is the live in pretty bralette from Gap Canada. Like, look at this. So look, it's, oh, I hate a bra that fucking looks like that. Fuck you. It's basically a sports bra, but without the, it just gives you a separation. That looks like a brassiere. what it a bra is a brassiere i know but like but when you shit but when you say the word brassiere people like have like marilyn monroe's like marilyn monroe wore bras like that a brassiere okay and i yeah that's i hate them they're gross okay well can i just finish you just talked about a fucking flattening pancake fucking bra can i talk about my brassiere like look i'm gonna yes you're wearing two no this is just like one of those no that's oh okay yeah yeah see how like

i have no definition like and and they're saggy a little bit they're just a little bit hanging low yeah and i get that that looks fine but this is gross well no i don't need to be disgusting like this is what this is what she's living for right now she's been dying for a podcast question so that she could lift up her shirt and show me your tits push them together flatten them out and just show me. Yeah. Okay. That's great. I love, that's fantastic. I'm just saying if one would like to have two breasts as opposed to one, look up this fucking bra that I just told you about. It's not the prettiest thing, but it's fucking epically comfortable. No wire, no clasps. You put it on like a sports bra and you're like just totally supported. Great. Please. So that is our

perspective. You know, and again, boob taste is different, right? As you said, not a science, not math. Exactly. Some people prefer separated and up. Yeah. Other people prefer smushed together and a lump. Yeah. That would be me. And the other one would be you. Yes. You have two choices. Yeah. And is there a third? There might be. If you have a third breast look preference. A class. Oh, oh, okay. If you have a third breast look like preference that we haven't named yet and you can describe it, please share it with us. Yeah. Okay. Well, that's it. Okay. Well, We covered a lot today. We did.

We did. We will be back next week. And keep your questions coming to me at Sasha at LadyGossip.com. Check us out on Google Play and iTunes and Spotify. Leave your comments. And let us know about your tit preference. Bye. Bye.

We'll be right back. We'll be right back.