What's Your Drama - Not Feeling the SMA & Getting "Work" Done

Episode Date: November 16, 2017

On today's show: Is Blake Shelton deserving of SMA (spoiler alert: I'm not mad at it)?, how to divulge that you got "work" done, and what to do when your "cool mom" is hanging with your friends more than you are.As we discuss, here's the pic of the Nazi Lainey encountered while on vacation last week and our writer's eye work. Also in other news, we hit #60 in the iTunes top 200 Society & Culture Podcasts! We are so excited - so keep helping us move up the ranks. Our next goal is 55, so check us out on iTunes and Google Play. Thanks so much for joining us and as usual please send your feedback as we love hearing from you. Keep your questions to me at [e-mail] and hit us up on twitter at @sasha_tong and @laineygossip and Instagram at @lostandfoundapothecary and @laineygossip. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hi, it's Lainey and welcome to the Lainey Gossip Podcast with Sasha Answers. Welcome back. Thank you. So very tan. I'm pretty dark. Yes. But not on my face. I use like 60.

Your face is pretty dark. Really? Yeah. I mean, I try to use like a 60 on my face because I do not want, obviously I'm vain and anti-aging and whatever. Yes. But on my body, it's like… It's going to be a kingdom of wrinkles one day.

Okay. I have a story to tell you about when we were away. Yes. So I blog from the beach. Fuck you. And I'm so productive on the beach. Like, I think my word count last week when we were away was higher than my word count when I'm here.

That's bizarre, but okay, yeah. So there's, like, beach chairs. It's not a very busy place that we go to. so you there is like distance like you're not jammed up against the next person

yes so you're several feet away from the next person and that's why we go to this place over and over again it's because I don't have to talk to anybody

yeah and Yasik goes to play golf all day and there are like six hours at a time when I'm not like I'm not making eye contact with anyone

I don't have to talk to that's how vacations should be exactly it's just me I'm alone on vacation yes Sometimes Jacek joins in at night, you know, he comes in, he makes an appearance. So I look up and there's a couple that is the closest couple to me.

They're about 10 feet away. And I mean, already I don't like the look of him. He's older and he's got that face. Like, I just know. Like he's a demanding human. He's just a dick. Okay. Right.

I just know you're a dick by the way that you carry yourself and your face. And then he pulls out a book. And I, whenever someone pulls out a book, I'm interested in like what they're reading. And normally from like a distance like that, you can't really see the title. Except that this book was a black cover with white writing. So it's that much more prominent, right? Yes. and the book he's reading...

I feel like you're going to tell me it's like the KKK or something. Oh, oh, very close. It's Adolf Hitler's Mein Kampf. Stop. Shut up. So at this point, he pulls out the book

and he starts reading Mein Kampf. Oh. And enough so that you can hear it. No, no, no. Like he's not reading it out loud, but he's reading it and it's staring at me. Now the book is staring at me.

The cover of the book, like Adolf Hitler is staring at me. and like and i'm just like so i texted duanna of course and i was like this fucking guy just pulled out that's fucking bold and she writes back like of course duanna knows exactly the thing to say she's like jesus christ kindle that shit totally right like if you don't keep that under wraps right yeah um and and so uh now now i start texting yassik because my blood is boiling It's already hot, you know, the sun is heating me up. And now I've gone from my beach calmness, my pina colada, and my chill to I'm going

to beat this man up. Agro. Fucking agro. I knew it. I knew on sight that he was that fucking guy. And then he fucking pulls out Hitler's book. You're really good at flagging. Oh, I can peg a racist.

It's true. And so, and he's like, when he's reading it, he's interested. he's finding parts that are interesting and he's like telling his wife and he's pointing at the page and please I want to burn that man down and so now I'm texting Jacek and I'm like I'm gonna get into a fight and which to be honest I regularly text him I'm gonna get into a fight yeah so he knows it's kind of not something that happens things piss me off so often that I regularly feel the need to get into fights with people. So he's like, please, God, no.

And I said, no, you don't understand. This is what's happening. And I explained it to him. I was like, Nazi is on the beach. Come down here right now. And he was like, no, I'm not going to fucking get in a fight with you. And I was like, no, come down here right now. What was he going to do?

Why did you need Jacek's support? Just so that you could both be mad? No, because I wanted Jacek to come down in his pure whiteness. and to show that his whiteness was his Jacek's pure whiteness was being contaminated

by my non-whiteness right I wanted to parade the multiculturalism in your in your marriage I wanted like I basically

wanted Jacek to come down and like sit down on the lawn chair and I was gonna like maybe straddle him yes and

oh yeah I was like you should have done that and then so finally Jacek moseys on down does he look extra white like does he put on

like a gold shirt Of course, I had to take a photo for you. Okay, good. Which we will post with this – we'll post with the podcast. We'll just blur out his face. Blur out the racist face. Yeah. Anyway, that's him.

And you can clearly see the cover and type. He is a – yes. Yes. That face is like – yeah, like a white supremacist. Yes. Oh, and he's totally flaunting his stupid, shitty book. Right? He has horrible fucking gross Gore-Tex-y, latex-y shoes or whatever the fuck that is,

water shoes. And he's wearing a fucking gross short Speedo. I hate him. Anyway, thank you. Anyway, I didn't end up fighting him because I wanted to maintain the peace in our resort. Yes. But I did make a point of… Did you see him again?

Oh, yeah, every day. At breakfast we saw them. But I did make a point of, like, giving him, like, not resentful dead eyes, but, like, I'm better than you. Look how cute I am, dead eyes. Okay, okay. Cute dead eyes. Who knew? And, like, I was going to just repeat my swimwear.

I brought extra swimwear. But sometimes you're just in the mood to wear your shitty swimwear. Yeah. But he gave me extra incentive to bring out the good shit, the agent provocateur. So you were just flaunting your bikinis for him. Just not for him. I don't, like, it was a one piece actually. Oh, okay.

And, you know, and Jacek, then Jacek and I went on like a really fun kayak trip and made a point of like laughing and having so much fun and, you know. Okay. So he was like a super benefit to your vacation. In the end, he made you look good, feel good. Great. He saw how wonderful life is for an Asian. That's true.

There you go. You also taught him a lesson. Anyway, we will post that photo so you all can see. But now you have to blur his face out. But let me just tell you, having seen his face. I did not exaggerate. You did not exaggerate. Like, yes.

He's marching with a fucking hood. Like, that's him. Yes. Yeah. Anyway, and Jacek sometimes says to me, oh, you are so extra. You know, whatever. You're overreacting. And he came down.

And he could not, he could not tell his wife that I was overreacting. Yes. No, he was like, yep, you're right. He had your back. He was like, yep. And the book. Like, look, the book. Flaunting it.

I hate him. Okay. Moving on. Let's talk about another nice man who is the opposite of this Ku Klux Klan man is Blake Shelton. Shelton or Sheldon? Shelton. I love that.

Like the sexiest man alive. I don't even know what the proper way to say his last name is. I just don't know why everyone is upset. And maybe you could tell me. And I know that you, like, there's a lot of lead up. I don't give a shit about this cover. So I feel bad. Like, ever.

I don't care. I think it's just totally bullshit. But I know that there's a lot of hubbub before it. But now people are pissed. Is that the case? Well, I mean, the most obvious reason that they're pissed is, like, he's made some super racist homophobic tweets before. Like, back in 2009 or 2010.

So all of those have come back. And that's why people are upset. I thought it was just because they were like, he's not hot enough. Well, part of that – part of it is, like, he's not hot enough. But a lot of people are like, this is – you know, in these times, this is somebody who has said these things and, you know, it's fine that he has a career and sings his songs, but to anoint him the sexiest man alive, like, to put him on this pedestal when he said this it for them it seems like you know it doesn't tarnish the image of what it should be

well i mean i don't think that the sexiest man alive has holds the same prestige as it used to like back in the day when give me a good one like i'm trying to think like i mean johnny depp's made the cover johnny depp's like a horrible like a shitty person now too like we've found out how yeah horrible his past has been but when he was named the sexiest man alive he was the biggest box office star in the world. Yeah. We were just not privy to his. Sure. But at the time his status was, I mean, people say the same thing about Mel Gibson and I get it. The first ever sexiest man alive was Mel Gibson. And now we're looking at Mel Gibson with different eyes. But then don't you remember he was Mel Gibson? Like he was the biggest fucking deal. And totally. That's what I

mean is like the past sexiest men alive were the biggest fucking deal. Had some more clout. Major clout. Like, you know, there are places that Blake Shelton could go and would not be recognized. That's true. And I think that when people say sexiest man alive, you should probably be able to take that person anywhere in the world and everywhere in the world people would be like, oh yeah, that guy. Yeah.

But again, I think that because we don't create movie stars anymore, so it's getting harder and harder to name a movie star who is recognizable number one and number two like the brand prestige of the sexiest man alive is completely not what it was like 10 15 years ago so we get i guess we get blake shelton yeah and like to be honest i really don't again like i don't really know much about him so i didn't really know that he made homophobic um or wrote any homophobic tweets or anything like that i really didn't know i just wanted to talk about if we thought he was hot or not. And that is what I thought people's gripe was.

So my bad. Well, I'm not unattractive. Like, I don't find him unattractive. I mean, I watch The Voice regularly. And so I find him really charming. Yeah. Like, really charming. I mean, oh, look, Corey loves The Voice.

Yeah. Corey and I, like, that is like date night. Fucking sadly. What night is it on? Mondays? Monday's and Tuesday's. And I think it's on again tonight. and I will look over

and I swear Corey and I have an ongoing joke I'll look over at him and whenever Blake Shelton talks Corey is like beaming like a little NSYNC fan

like he just thinks he is fucking so funny and so and like that's not really Corey MO

like that's not how he reacts to anything but I'll look over and I'm like are you gonna be okay like I've never seen you so giddy

but he but that's the effect of Blake Shelton I think he's like a charming dude I, I, the thing I like best about Blake Shelton is I love Gwen Stefani. Yeah. And I, she seems happy.

And hopefully she's going to teach him some better ways to react and to think and, and open his mind a little bit more than what it has been before. I mean, I think that, yeah, I think that on the level of outrage lately in terms of what's come out of Hollywood, not to say that all the things he said aren't bad. of course they're bad. But they're forgivable if he makes amends. Some changes. Correct? Yes. Like, you know, it is, it's not even a shit versus diarrhea situation. Like, there are a lot of things to be upset about right now. A hundred percent. Out of Hollywood. And like, I would rather, I only have so much energy and I'd rather be more upset about like Harvey

Weinstein, Kevin Spacey, the list goes on and on and on and on and on, right? Like, yeah, whatever. I hear you. So shall we? Let's get into some questions. You're reading. I am reading. Okay, here we go. First question.

Hi, Sasha and Lainey. This past August, after thinking I would never ever do it, I had plastic surgery. Coming up on my 50th birthday, I was quite pleased with how I looked for my age, but one part of my face has aged way faster than the rest of me. My family curse is eye bags. Even my grandfather had them removed. Plus, I'm Asian, so I also have that upper lid falling into my eye thing going on. Anyway, I'm one of those, oh, natural woman, doesn't wear makeup, so I thought that plastic

surgery wouldn't be my deal. But as my eyes got worse, I found myself obsessed with them. They'd be the first thing I checked in the morning and my headspace was being taken up with researching the best eye creams, wondering if I was eating too much salt, etc. After some thought and discussion with some people, including one who had them done at a younger age than me and budgeting it out, I went for it and had both my eye bags and my upper lids done. Yo, I get it. Marrying my husband was like pretty amazing, but this might've been the best thing that's ever happened to me. Talk about freedom. I never have to wear eye cream or worry

about getting eight hours of sleep again if I don't want to. My question is, how would you handle divulging this? I'm not keeping it a secret. I'm happy to tell you if you ask me. If you follow my Instagram and Facebook, you can see the transition, though somewhat subtle. I'm also someone who just kind of likes being transparent about these things. To be honest, part of me wants to just say it so people who are wary of it because of some outdated idea they have is preventing them from living their best life. I also just don't know if it's poor form. Like, you don't go around telling people how much money you make. What's the etiquette on this? How would you handle it? Also, I should say I live in LA where even our receptionist has been on Botox maintenance since

she was in her early 20s. Thanks. Oh, and I'm attaching a couple photos. Still about 25% swelling to go down. Okay, so I have the picture. Okay. Can I see? I'm so excited. Phenomenal. Oh my God.

Show me, please. Right? I wish we could show this. I don't know. Look, yes. Like that's, that's some good ass motherfucking work. Yes. I want, I don't know if she'll, well, maybe if she'll let us go to her Instagram, she's

obviously, fuck, if she wants to be out there, like let's put this online. You can ask if you don't mind. Can we email her and ask her? I'll email her and ask her. But it is amazing. She looks like she's been shaved like a good 15 years off of her face. Listen, I have said before, if, when, maybe I need it now, I want it. In short, you want it.

And you want it all. It's funny that she talks about eye bags because I've been obsessing over my eyes lately. Because I feel like I'm starting to get eye bags. I'm getting eye bags on one eye, one side of my face. I'm not… Don't look. Just don't. I can't see them on you.

Okay. Okay. But, well, I'm getting on both sides equally, so I don't know what's worse, one eye or both. Like, but I don't sleep very much, so that is a contributing factor. But, yeah, I have eye bags, and I have been thinking more and more, and I feel like my upper lids are drooping. Yeah.

Well, they're not, but I know what you're saying. Because you and I are also Asian. Yes. And so I've been thinking about it more and more and when, and like now I, but I also have to do some research. Like how much time do you take off and does it hurt? Like I bet you it fucking kills. Yeah.

I'm sure you're like the recovery is not the next day. Like if you're getting, like you probably look like your face got beat down pretty fucking hard for a while. Cause that's the thing. Like I'm not unhappy. Cause the skin around there is pretty thin too. Anyway. Yeah.

Everybody has their spots, right? Like knock on wood, my forehead is okay. My 11 is okay. Yeah. For those of you who don't know, the 11 is the thing between your eyebrows, right? It's the two lines. That's why it's called the – my 11 is okay. And I even feel like around – like I'm – I wish people could see us gesturing.

My – what do you call this area? Jowls. Jowls are okay, but it is the eye bags. Yeah. And my neck is okay. It's the eye bags. Oh, my God. Don't.

I just don't – but, yeah. So I think about it all the time. So M – and I feel like M did this really – like how it kind of should be done. listen, anyone can do whatever the fuck they want to do with their bodies at whatever age. But I like that, you know, it was her 50th birthday. She, you know, it was like kind of on her mind as of late. She did her research and then she went for it. And she's not shying away from the fact that she's got it done. Which like all of those pieces together make me feel really happy. So wait, I have to, okay. So I've been thinking about this because there's this person

who I'm sure does not listen to this podcast, but I know her, she's a friend. And I think for sure, for sure. I know it with every ounce of my body that she totally got her tits done. Like I know it. And I want to like congratulate her because I know what lifted and create like augmented implants because her boobs were not like they were like mine, like training bra styles. And now they're big and they're out there and all her pictures, they're like, they're right in there showing all their glory. So I want to say, hey, like, good job. Like, it looks really great.

Yeah. But I don't know if I'm allowed to say that. So that's kind of where I'm at. Like, that's why I can kind of relate to our writer's friends where she's like, you know, she feels like people are weary of, like, just coming out and asking. Like, when are you allowed to say, hey, good work done? Like, that's good. Like, thumbs up.

I wonder if we'll get to a point. Like right now, obviously we're not there yet, but it is going to be so ubiquitous at some point. Like every, as she said, the receptionist, she, she, she lives in LA and like receptionists start getting it done in their twenties. Like I know people who have started, who started getting Botox like 23 as maintenance, right? I don't believe the maintenance thing, but sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Fine. But I wonder if, I wonder if we, it gets to a point where it becomes so ubiquitous, so common that commenting on it is like saying, that's a great lip color on you. Yeah. Like, oh, I love your hair color. Yeah. Totally. Like, oh, hey, I love your nose job. Yeah. But I don't know, but it is so, why is that not, why is that bad? Well, I think a lot of the time it's based on insecurity, right? Like people get work done typically when they're feeling insecure about a body part, a facial something rather. Like for me, I think in my head, I feel like if people get things increased, then they want you to see it.

So that's when you should congratulate them. But when things are getting decreased, they're like, I'd never want, like, that was so much of a topic that they're like, now that I've taken that away, please don't mention that. That's a great formula. Don't you think that makes sense? Yes. I feel like if you can gauge it that way, like the bigger it goes, the bigger, hell yeah, I see that. Congratulations, high fives. But then if someone's like nose gets shrunk down or something, that's something maybe they don't want you to bring up right away. They just want you to be like, chill. Like, let's pretend that this never happened.

Yes. I've got a smaller nose. And you don't bring that up. Well, but I mean, if more people are like Em and she doesn't seem like she cares about sharing it, then maybe it's not going to be such like a conversation that's fraught with such awkwardness. Like Em is asking us, what is the, can I tell people? Well, fuck, she's putting on Instagram and fucking Facebook and like lives Instagram

storing it. So, I mean, she's out there. It's kind of as out there as you can get. Look, Em, I think that if you want to share it, you should, like, I don't see why you shouldn't be able to share it. And it's inspiring. You look fucking great. I did the best thing for myself.

I got my bags done or my eye bags done. I will tell you that what bothers me is, I mean, it's not like people have to be honest and be like, you know what? I have Botox here, there, and everywhere. But what I hate is when it's clearly a procedure and what they end up saying is, oh, I just started taking these amazing vitamins or like, oh, I've just been sleeping so well. That's when it makes me crazy because celebrities do it all the time, right? Like you see, like for a while, for example, Nicole Kidman and for a long time she would

deny it. And I get it. I mean, we're in that really weird in between. Where you don't want to be up in everyone's business. You don't want to be, exactly. But at the same time, then I'm reading interviews with you being like, yeah, here are my beauty secrets. I sleep a lot.

I drink a lot of water. Kale. I'm really loving kale right now. And I love this eye cream. And I'm like, nope. Yeah. Nope. Don't engage in that conversation then.

Yes. Because I just think that that's, to me, that's a form of lying. I agree. And I think, yeah, like if someone comes up to our readers like, you look great. Like, have you been getting a lot of sleep? I think you should be like, yeah, and also a surgery. Right? Like, if she wants to be an open book, then that's nice for people.

Yeah. As opposed to being like, yeah, I'm like using like all natural eye bags. That's how I would be. Like when and if. I mean, I don't even think it's an if anymore. When I start Botoxing and like nipping and whatever. You don't need to do that. Eventually.

Okay. It will happen. I always say that like Chinese women are like apple dolls, you know, how like all of a sudden like the next day, all of a sudden you're just like a super old apple doll. Well, yes. And everything just looks warped and fucked. Yeah, there's that meme. So when that happens.

There's that meme when like an Asian woman, it turns 60, like she looks 25 until 60 and then she's done. But I want to like fight that. Anyway, so if when I need to get my eye bags done or do anything, yeah, I would. Plus, also, it's like a public service. Like, oh, my God, this doctor. You got to go see this doctor. And in the meantime, you should plug Lorinda, who does your face.

Maybe people will be mad at us for saying this. But at the same time, like, Emma's somebody who clearly did her research, thought about it a long time. She's a 50-year-old woman. She wants to do it. Like, I'm not going to judge her. And she looks fucking bomb. Yeah. Ask her if we can post that photo.

I will. Okay. Okay. Next question. Next question. Dear Sasha and Lainey, I've got a fun mom problem. I live in a duplex with my partner. My parents live on the other side. Whoa. Wow. That is close proximity. Okay. I just needed to… Yeah. Because I was picturing… The horror of that. I was picturing my… having my mother living on the other side of this house.

Okay. My parents are very wise, open, funny, and fun. They have always gotten along with my friends. They're the kind of people who stay friends with me and my siblings' exes because they've formed their own relationships with them that don't end when ours does. That's all in quotes. Ahem. And the ahem is included in this email. Okay. So does that… are you following me? Yes, I am. So the parents are still friends with her ex-boyfriend. Yeah. Okay. Over the years, my mom would invite friends who were interested to her various groups she's involved with. Writing, journal, meditation, drawing. Lately though, my mom has basically taken over all of my friend groups. She's starting to be invited to the same parties as me, which she brings my dad to and

stays later than I do. I worked all week. I'm tired. She has one-on-one coffees, walks, gym sessions with my friends. That's like dying right now. She has a standing weekly date with one of my friends. She hosts dinners for various couples that I am friends with without me and is invited to theirs as well. A couple of weeks ago, I had some friends over for my dinner at my side of the duplex, and she had some of my friends over on her side of the duplex for dinner at the same time. Is this not so weird? It seems like every week she is Facebook friends with another person in my social network and will probably inevitably become their best friend. Sorry to be laughing at this. But I'm just trying to picture it. This is, wow, this is really, really interesting.

Okay. I need a lot more, I need a lot more alone time. So I probably wouldn't reach out to an acquaintance and set up a dinner with them. She's actually getting a lot closer to many of these people than I ever was, which is another problem in itself. Recently, she shared some very private personal news with people I've never hung out with one-on-one. When a friend who was at this dinner said, I don't think this is common knowledge. She apparently waved it off. I feel like I'm suffocating. I feel like I'm cutting my mom off in our relationship now because I need space to be a version of myself outside the presence of my parents. I'm starting to feel so angry, but I'm also just not sure how much of a right I have to be mad. We're all adults. I feel

like I need to figure out why this bugs me so much and figure out how to work through that rather than asking my mom to change. Am I not evolved enough as a person? If I'm not okay with this help i'm going crazy signed no fun this is like the wow best question ever this is a movie this is totally get fucking duanna on this this is single white female mom yeah or i don't know if you're white i'm sorry but i mean that's just the title of the movie or the subject line just like cool mom because like this is a cool mom situation yeah oh okay so but that story about the two dinner parties going on at the same time with same like different and she doesn't even know that her friends are over at her mom's i don't listen my my mom is so much fun my mom my stepdad

are so much fun and whenever i have people over in vancouver like they they come they party they drink my friends fucking love them and they think my mom's way more fun than i am which is true But like my mom knows when to bow out. She's not fucking there the whole goddamn time, like gossiping with my friends and like asking them to hang out afterwards. Like that is strange behavior. Yeah. I don't think that our writer here is unevolved.

I think she's like reading this pretty spot on, which it's like a little weird. It is a little weird. Like I want to validate your feelings first. Like if you're feeling weird about it, like I think most people listening to this would feel a little bit weird about it too. So, you know, you're not crazy. No. And like you want your parents, like as you get older, it's fun when you can be more friendly with them. But you don't, you still at the end of the day don't want your mom to be your friend, like your best friend, legit hanging out with your other best friends. Listen, this couldn't work for me. Like

I don't want to be fucking hanging out with my parents. I don't want to be hanging out with Yassi's parents. Yeah. Like, it's… I mean, my mother has come to some of our parties when it's appropriate. Like, what? She was at my book launch for… Yeah.

And she hung out with you guys. Yes. But when my mother shows up, she's almost like a sideshow. She's like this… Like a show and tell. Where we just, like, she sits there and then all of us point to her and laugh at her and she knows we're pointing at her and laughing at her and she loves it. No, that is not a thing.

Yes, it is. Oh, I think she's all… Whatever she's come to any of your parties, it's like she's royalty. like she gets like a side show well no i wouldn't say side show side show sounds like fucking freak show like your mom gets treated like hello everyone likes it's like quiet and everyone's like hello hello i love you i love your daughter like everyone's so fucking nice everyone's on their best behavior with your mom but at the same time like she's the first person to check out first to come first to leave because she actually also doesn't like anybody yes including me

sometimes. Like when she comes over here for dinner, you know, it is 80, like a clean 80 minutes. Right. In and out. Wow. That's great. Meanwhile, their parents are like lingerers. Right. So anyway, so for me, it wouldn't work. At the same time, like your mom obviously is super likable. Like everybody wants to be around her. I think that's kind of cool too. Like I just, So I don't think if your friends don't have a problem with it, it's now – it's a different – it's a trickier situation here because she's – her mom is like – If you started to call my mom instead of me and started to hang out with my mom more than me, I would be a little bit like, what the fuck is going on? Yeah, but no offense. Like, your mom's not like Goldie Hawn.

My mom? Yeah. Like, think about Goldie Hawn and Kate Hudson. Like, I'm looking for a celebrity example. My mom is like Goldie Hawn. what the fuck are you talking about okay my mom like legit dresses like fine then i do want to hang out with you no my mom is the shit okay but that's what i'm saying that's why i can i can really i'm if your mom's coldihan then i'm saying then like this is a different situation fuck you

no my mom is coldihan no i really do that's what so like that's why i'm finding similarity here like my mom is rad and it's so much fucking fun um but again it and i love when she's around but I also enjoy when she's not around when I'm with my friends. I'm getting like my point being your mom can be cool and have fun with your friends but she shouldn't be fucking having sleepover parties with them. Yeah, but your friends are reaching out to your mom Goldie Hawn and like being friends with her.

It sounds more like the mom is inviting the friends and they're just coming. Yeah, but they're going. They're going. Fine. Then I think you need to fucking talk to your friends about it too then. So this is – that's why this is such a conundrum because, like, her mom's Goldie Hawn. Right.

And now, like, these people, they don't want to stop being friends with Goldie Hawn. Would you want to be not friends with Goldie Hawn anymore? No. Exactly. Yeah. So, well, what do you do, though? You just eat your feelings even though something is somewhat unnatural? Well, is moving an option?

I doubt moving is an option. Okay. So if moving is not an option, then I think at this point, at the very least, some boundaries need to be set. Like what isn't sitting well is the mom waving off the sharing of the personal details, right? So I do think you have to have a talk with your mom. And no, like I don't think at this point you have to be like, mom, I need you to break up with all my friends. As weird as that would be and like I almost like want to script it out. But you do have to be like, hey, mom is so cool. Like I love that everybody loves you. But like at the same time, can you not tell people about the time that I did this and that and the other? Like that has

to be addressed on a very, very basic level. And you have every right to do that. I think you're right. Like there's a meeting in the middle of sorts too, right? Like you have to ask your mom as a mom to like kind of slow her roll a little bit and to understand where she's coming from. like just not intrude so much in her like inner circle of friends you know see them hang out with them do go for walks go for yoga but like yeah don't spill fucking like personal information um like don't invite my friends over without telling me that they're coming over next door um and then the other half would be for our our writer which is maybe step up your fun game a bit If your mom is Goldie Hawn, then maybe you need to step up to Goldie Hawn levels.

What, like a fun competition? Yeah. Like, not a fun competition. But I mean, just like, she signs herself as no fun. Well, maybe just be a bit more fun. And then that way you might enjoy the process of like, seeing all your friends fucking love your Goldie Hawn mom. Well, but she said that she needs her alone time.

Like, their personalities are different. Like mom is Goldie Hawn, but like, you know, our, like the person who's written in is not that social or like has to balance her social time with a lot of alone time. I get that. But I do, I do think here that at the, on the basic level, you know, having a conversation with your mom about those boundaries is a start. It's kind of the only thing to do. Yeah.

And see how she reacts. Because, yeah, like what else are you going to do? You're going to be like, mom, can you stop being unfun? No. Friends, can you stop liking my mom? No. Like that, like it's already happening. And also, I am dealing with like, I mean, we all are, but I'm dealing with aging parents.

And I've been doing a lot of reading about like how to keep your aging parents healthy. And the fact that her parents have such an active social and friend life is really good. Like, I don't know how old you are and how old your mother is. I have to be a homeowner. But I wish my mother had more friends. Like, I always wish that my mother and my parents went out more. Because all my mother does is, like, focus and obsess over her various illnesses. And I don't think that's good either.

But whenever she goes out to play mahjong with people, you know, I noticed that like it buys her a week of not bitching about her like various ailments. Yeah. And so there is a benefit to this too, like for the mental health of your parents and keeping your parents healthy. I mean, Jacek's parents are getting older as well and, you know, it's his turn right now to be away from them. And like we always think about that too, about like how it's great that they have activities

that they like to do together because otherwise like, I don't know, you also don't want your mom cooped up in the house by herself and no one to talk to. Yeah. And I mean,

I think that our writer probably knows that and is like thankful that her mom is like so spirited and like has so much energy. But it's a little bit too extreme. Like it is a bit extreme. It's weird.

It is weird. We want to acknowledge that the weirdness of it. I think it's great that your mom's firing at all levels here. All cylinders are blasting. But I do think, yeah,

I would definitely have a little chat with your mom just to like, just chill, just a little chill. I think that that's the only thing you can do though. Yeah. I mean, I know, but to be fair, I wonder if you and I are coming at this from like immigrant parent perspective. Like, you know, our attitudes about parent involvement in our lives is very different from, you know, your North American upbringing. Like, I would say the half side of me is much like that, like the Asian side, like with my dad but the Yugoslav side like no like all everyone yeah like get the fuck out like intergenerational partying all the time no no I mean no no I'm what I'm saying is like um cutting

off your parents and separating like um this is not right that a parent do this like be so involved in your life and this and that right that's what I'm saying too though like yeah I one side of me is like that the other side of me is like not cutting off like yeah having them like fucking be invited constantly i mean like there are many so what i'm trying to say is that you know there are a lot of there are a lot of families from other cultures where yeah like the families live on top of each other um and um they you know for example in many cultures it's not um cool to like put your parents who are aging in, like, a senior citizen home, right? Like, whereas in, like, Western society, North American society, that is almost standard.

Yeah. So I wonder if our perspective of saying, like, you got to talk to your mom, but, like, that's the only thing you can do. You can't, like, say, leave my friends alone. Right. It's not, like, I would never be able to say that to my mother. Not kosher. Yeah.

But I don't know if that is, like, somebody else would be like, oh, no, this is wrong. more boundaries a concrete wall has to be formed between like the friend groups and the mother i would i i i think that that's okay to do like because i think her mom great wall a little concrete wall a little a little trump wall you you think that you think that like i wouldn't do that should be told to stay away from her friends not to stay away from her friends but what we've advised which is just for her mom to like take a little step back like not be so involved. I would have no problem saying that to my mom. Just to be like, you're getting too close for comfort here. That's not what I was on board with. I was only on board with saying mom. I've

like misinterpreted everything today. No, I would have just, I, the only thing I'm advocating is saying, mom, please don't share my secrets, but I'm not advocating mom, stay away from my friends. I'm not saying stay away from my friends. Like do not ever talk to them or invite them. But I would be like could you just yeah i would tell my mom to that maybe the brat in me but i would be like what's mine is mine can you just chill a little bit not saying again yeah go for walks do the yoga class have dinners but let's not do that every fucking night like can you just maybe make it three times a week as opposed to six times a week right and i think that's fair because that's like you have to set boundaries because i think her mom and i think we're in agreement has crossed

a little bit of one, which is it's a little fucking extra how much time is invested here. No, and that's what I mean about the culture thing, because that's where Chinese filial piety kicks in, like for. Right. And that is parents' happiness more important than your happiness. Oh, okay. I don't know why I had to put in that Confucian sentence. Yes, I know.

But essentially, that's what Confucius says. Parent happy more important than child happy. Right. That's what I was saying. Half of me gets you on that one. of the other is my mom's side, which is I am a little angel and get whatever the fuck I want. Well, what we can agree on is for you to have a discussion with your mom and tell her not

to be pulling out your underwear and, like, doing that shit in front of your friends. Totally. The minimum. Totally. Yes. And then gauge it depending on your cultural status. That's right. There you go.

Hope that helps. Okay. Keep your questions coming to Sasha at LaineyGossip.com. And check us out on Google Play and iTunes. And we were fucking number 60. We were number 60 on iTunes charts. And so now our new goal, 55. Okay.

Can we do that? Help us get to 55. Okay, yeah. Are we allowed to post that statistic? You should post it when we post this. I did. I tweeted it. I know, but you should post it on like the next episode's whatever.

Oh, okay. Be like, yeah. Okay, great. With your screenshot. Love. And in addition, we'll post the photo of like Mr. Fucking beating Hitler. We'll post a picture of Hitler, and we'll post the picture, if I get permission, of Ibex Lady.

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