What's Your Drama - Old Man Lainey and Small Town Drama

Episode Date: November 5, 2020

Before we dive into your questions Lainey thought it would be appropriate to tell all of you how much better of a friend she is compared to me. I hope this gives you insight into what I deal with. Then she of course haddddddd to bring up the time I confused her with her 70 year old father. In my defense, please look at the evidence below. Come on? Could you tell that's her?  (visit Laineygossip.com for picture)Ok then it's on to your drama! First up, we get an update from Destinee. She wrote in a couple of weeks ago about her mother-in-law. Remember? (Link to that episode) She was the one who wanted to axe her MIL out of ever coming to her house. Well, I guess she thought our advice was sh-t and is back to give us more of a backstory.Then it's on to "Emily". She is in a long distance relationship and is not feeling the extra weight her partner has put on during COVID. We look into this relationship a bit deeper to see if there is anything else that might be causing her to feel this way about her partner.Finally, we end on "Jennifer". Jennifer lives in a small town where there's some big drama and she's wondering if she should insert herself into said drama.  We hope you enjoy the show and keep sending me all your DRAMA! Send your advice questions my way at [e-mail]. We also love hearing from you on Twitter at @sasha_tong and @laineygossip and Instagram at @lostandfoundapothecary and @laineygossip. And of course subscribe wherever you get your podcasts, and make sure to leave feedback and comments because it helps others find our show! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I would imagine then like one of the benefits of a long distance relationship where two years can go by and you don't see each other is like, I don't know, you can kind of let your gut slide. Yeah, but I also find it weird. My other question for her is how can you go on for like what seems like maybe a year not seeing someone's bottom half? while every other channel is fighting for your customers attention podcasts are where they've already given it no one accidentally listens to a podcast for 45 minutes they choose to be here they trust the voice in their ears and when that voice talks about your brand it doesn't sound like advertising it sounds like a recommendation from a friend acast gives you that trust at scale digital precision post-read authenticity and performance data that proves it worked

Don't fight for attention. Buy it with ACAST. Learn more by visiting ACAST.com slash advertise. Hi, I'm Lainey Louie, talk show host and entertainment reporter. I'm also the editor of LaineyGossip.com and I am a BTS fan. I'm Sasha Tong. I am a producer at an entertainment show here in canada i'm also a fashion and beauty columnist on laneygossip.com and i am not a big bts fan but this is what's your drama where we gossip about you okay so can you hear my dishwasher no i cannot do you think that this microphone can pick up the dishwasher i'm gonna say no what do i know no you're only saying that because you want to get started i don't know if i should stop the dishwasher but i i don't want the dishwasher

is fine. What? No. I want you to have the dishwasher on so that you have clean dishes for your fucking apple pie tonight. And anybody who's listening, if you hear a low grumbling or rumbling, it's a dishwasher. We'll be fine. Carry on. Come on. Listen, it's almost five and I need to make my grilled cheese sandwich. Oh, you're having grilled cheese sandwich? My hands are sore. Yes. Like what? Fake cheese? Fake cheese. Okay. Then don't call it cheese. what am I supposed to call it and why can't I call it cheese okay sorry what would you like me no fuck you just why can't I call it cheese you no let's not start this way that's no we're gonna start this way you know what we talk a lot about

on this podcast is friendships people write to us to ask about their friendships to ask what to do about their friendships. I don't think they particularly like this. I don't think, I think even this makes our friend group uncomfortable. I have a point to make. So about our friendship, we have determined together, we have signed the contract in agreement that I am a better friend to you. I love you more than you love me. I knew you were going to do this. And we have established this. So over the last eight months during the pandemic, you haven't come to see me once. I am the one who once or twice a week, I walk 2.4 kilometers one way. So about 5k like round trip to see you. I come to see you and I bring soup and I bring things for you. The last thing I brought

you was I baked donuts and I personally delivered them to you. You quite enjoyed them. So I just want it known and stated on our podcast that I love you more. I'm a better friend. The end signed and sealed and branded. It's a really weird thing to do in a friendship to keep on telling somebody that you're the better friend. Like, I feel like I, I understand what Yassic's life must be like. You're like, you are welcome. I am here. I've made your life better. Listen, I, and you actually are twisting this. How many times have I been like, oh, I'll come. Nope. I'll be like, oh, I'll come drop something off. And you go, no, I need to walk. You only use my house as a fucking destination to get your steps in. Do not fucking lie. No. The soups, I appreciate. I say no to your offer of

coming over because if I say yes, I don't know when I'm going to see you. I don't believe you're going to get here. I don't even know where I, where would I sit in your, in your outside? I have a fucking backyard douchebag. Yeah, but would you let me come to your backyard? I don't actually think you would. I would. I would. Great. Just when? Name it. This weekend. Plus, okay. See, I've come to see you like 60 times, so you should match my 60. I love when you make the visits. I just feel like it's a thing that you do now. Am I supposed to thank you every time you come?

No, I'm just setting this up. Is that what you want? Talk about what a good friend I am and how much I love you and how you abuse me, frankly. How do I abuse you? How do I abuse you? Okay, what? Should we tell the story of the photo I sent you? See, this is hard because I wish we could have podcasted in that moment.

But OK, sure. Fine. So I went to my parents and Ma got me. Wait, am I allowed to put the picture up? Yes. With a screen, a side by side of what we will get to. What do you mean? OK, keep on going and then it'll make more sense.

OK, so I went to go see my parents. Ma gave me this new, like, hilarious anti-COVID, anti-infection prevention. Bucket hat. Bucket hat. okay so you guys will see it it's a bucket hat and there's a layer of plastic over like as a face shield right yeah she's saying to me she's oh this is so funny too she was like you can eat with it on she wanted me to have dinner while wearing it you know the thing about that fucking those i have never what are those called those face shields that people are walking around

in like a butt oh yes you know I want to talk to people who use them because does it I had I used one do you does it fuck up your vision because it's essentially like up you're looking through a pane of glass or a sheet of plastic right so it's not and they're not done like glasses the whole point is the reason why glasses are expensive and you send them to a lab is because they do whatever to them to make sure you're not seeing double and your eyes don't cross right yes so does the face shield make your eyes cross? It did not. It's not like the cleanest thing, right? It's not like you're looking through glass or looking through your set of your glasses, but for short term wear, like it's not like you're fumbling around and can't like put one foot in front of

the other. So the, the plastic face shield that is attached to the bucket hat that I got from Ma is it distorts your vision. So I was like walking around, um, on the street. I put it on to go back to the car and it's because it bends like it's it's it's a sheet of plastic you can fold it or at least and it's a shower curtain on a bucket exactly so when the shower curtain moves whatever you're looking through is all fucked up your vision is all screwed up so I was like I can't fucking wear this I'm gonna walk into something or trip anyway so she gives me this hat this bucket hat with the shower curtain on top of it she has a matching one so she was like of course because she's a Chinese mother. She's like, let's take a picture. We always take pictures. So I took a

picture of us and I sent it to you because you are all about COVID safety. I was like, oh, look, mom. Like, so I sent it to you with no description. It was me and my mother standing side by side. You write back and you're like, oh my God, your dad is so cute. And I was. wait you have to wait so in the picture your mom is taller than the person next to her did not know that also you're wearing a mask underneath the shower curtain bucket hat so and a hoodie so i don't even see a neck i only see eyes no not even a forehead because the bucket hat covers your forehead you have the same eyes as your father i guess this is what i have 70 I also don't have the same skin I didn't see the any skin I only saw eye skin and so I was

like oh my god your dad's so cute like fucking he's wearing an off-white mask and like a wicked tan honey drip fucking hoodie and you were like I fucking hate you that's me I laughed no joke for up to three and a half hours and I would like cry cry cry cry cry stop and be like wow that was so funny and then I would start fucking laughing again I had to FaceTime you because I was crying so hard and you didn't even answer. Yeah, I was so mad. I refused to talk to you. And that's when I decided that was the final proof. We have it in writing. It's like digitally preserved for all time that you are mean to me and I'm a better friend. Well, you told me that you wouldn't deliver soup to me just because I made that comment by accident. But anyway, I still have it

and it's probably coming to your place on Thursday, you dick. Oh my God. You're really good Hey, everybody, if you're listening, my dishwasher is running, and this cycle is forever. I don't know why this cycle is taking so long. I can't hear shit. I can't hear shit. I don't know. I feel like this mic will pick it up. Anyway, shall we get to the questions?

Let's get to the questions. And before you start the first one, I want to just preface by a couple of things. Why are you giving me looks? Yeah, I want to know what you're prefacing it with. I'm going to preface it. It's actually, it's totally fine. So I read the comments on all the comments that you guys write and also the stuff that you leave on iTunes. And I saw that there was this comment that was posted and it was like, you got – anyway, this is not exactly what they said.

But they were basically like, fuck you. You gave horrible advice to the woman who wrote it about her mother-in-law who wanted to – oh, I can't hear your dishwasher. Oh, shit. Don't worry. It's fine. Yassic is going to be so pissed off. Sorry, Yassic. We just decided to get started.

and we wanted clean dishes yeah this is the reality of working from home this is life um and this woman was like fuck you you little bitches you gave the worst advice like um mother do you remember the mother-in-law question yeah yeah and so she was like fuck you you guys suck and i was like oh we took the mother-in-law side like we called the the wife like a you know overreactor totally petty like yeah petty and overreact uh reactor anyway so i read that um i read that comment i was like wow that's like the first mean comment we've gotten on itunes that i was like fuck that actually sucks because now our our five-star rating is fucked because of this bitch anyway then today destiny who originally wrote to us has an update about that

because i think she thought we were also unfair with her oh okay um so this is gonna be our first question because um it's an update and i think she's sort of like oh so this is an update from where we basically told destiny that she was overreacting and yeah, and was being a big old cow to her mother. Okay. Okay, great. All right. Well, here we go with destiny, dear Sasha and Lainey, just writing back into you guys again. I just wanted to give more information this time around and make it more clear. We've been together for a while and I've been around my husband's family prior to us getting married. I've tried to talk to my mother-in-law and find common interest every time I'm over at his mom's house. She doesn't return the favor. She just ignores me

completely like I'm not there. She just says hello and that's it. My husband doesn't help either because he doesn't try to include me into the conversation. I've sent her gifts for Christmas and her birthday and never hear anything back from her. I don't feel comfortable being around my mother-in-law because she blames me for my husband not doing everything she wants regardless of what we are doing. For example, the first time I ever went to my mother-in-law's house, she asked me if I was the reason my now husband at the time wanted to leave his job, even though he made that decision himself. Another reason why I don't feel comfortable going up there is because she put shellfish out on the table after my husband told her I was

allergic. My husband doesn't stand up for me and then gets upset with me that I'd rather him go by himself to see his family. When I meant she was not welcome, I was really trying to say that I'd rather him spend time with her by himself because they both make me feel like an outsider instead of part of the family. So my question is, how would you guys deal with this situation with my husband and his mother? Okay. All right, Destiny, you've given us a lot more clarity. Last time, you know, I still stand by the fact that last time the examples that you were citing were kind of petty, but given that your mother-in-law tried to kill you with shellfish, I mean, I feel like you should have led with that.

Yeah, exactly right. So given that your mother-in-law tried to kill you with shellfish, yeah, maybe we have a different perspective. Yeah. Okay. Still, I kind of still want to just give the mother-in-law a little benefit of the doubt because I think you'll agree with me, lady. I don't think that the mother-in-law is really the problem here. It's Destiny's husband. dude has to step up for you destiny and uh that burden is on him and I'm sorry that you've had to

almost die with shellfish and also that she brought wedding gifts to you or wedding decorations that you didn't want to put up that's what you told us last time like I understand that she's probably difficult but not everybody's mother-in-law is going to be wonderful and endearing and welcoming Um, I've had past boyfriends, mothers who have not wanted to really get to know me and it's difficult, but there's ways to navigate that. Um, and in the first course of action is asking your husband to intervene and be the problem solver. I agree. I think that I don't, I don't think it's realistic for any of us to get along with, you know, our partner's parents. And if you do, great. And if you don't, like, fine. I don't think it needs to be like the most ideal after

school special kind of relationship. Totally. So putting that aside, the sentence in Destiny's follow-up message that bugged me the most was, quote, my husband doesn't stand up for me and then gets upset with me that I'd rather him go by himself to see his family. So sorry, but your dude can't have it both ways if he's not going to stick up for you he also can't get pissy with you when you don't want to go into a space where you don't feel welcome and so i agree with you if you don't want to go then you shouldn't have to go and he doesn't get to make you and sulk about it especially when he's not pulling up for you um but really this is not a mother-in-law question as sasha you're saying, this is your marriage. Like, totally. Is your dude going to ride or die for

you? Even if like the confrontation or whatever has to happen with his mother, that's what's tricky. And I don't think it is. I don't think the plan for destiny and her husband is just for her to stay at home and for her husband to continually go and by himself, like that is not going to be success for the future either, right? The mother-in-law is going to not only continue to dislike Destiny, but will have such a massive grudge that I don't think it will ever be able to be overcome if this keeps on going. So the first thing is, yeah, you have to tackle this with your husband. He has to get on your side. Otherwise, it's going to ruin your relationship with your husband and the mother-in-law. What will you have? You have to have... And it's hard,

right? Because if Corey was saying bad things about my mom and like, that's a rule in our house. Like he can never say anything bad about my mom or I'll fucking come at him. Like I will fucking slit his throat if he says anything bad about my mom. So maybe he feels that same sort of protection over his mom and, and doesn't want to. But your mom didn't try and kill him with shellfish. No, but like my mom's also kind of like flighty and doesn't realize that people have allergies right every she knows that I don't eat meat or dairy and every time she goes do you want some meat do you want some dairy and I'm like okay no right like moms sometimes do those things right like even my mother-in-law like doesn't realize what what veganism is like she does not

understand what part of the food chain or food pyramid is vegan or not vegan right so that could just be an honest mistake I don't know it could be vindictive it might not but anyway doesn't matter. Mother-in-law is not the issue here. It's the husband. And I think you really probably have to have ongoing conversations with him so that he can get on your side, because if he can't, then I think you're a bit doomed. You don't. OK, so were you getting weird vibes from the new description that Destiny is using to describe the relationship between the husband and his mother? What do you mean? Like, you know, she was like, oh, during the conversation, when I go over to my in-laws,

my husband just talks to his mother-in-law and leaves me out of the conversation. Yeah, like it's weird. Like I don't understand. I'm asking you, like, are you getting weird vibes from that? It feels like he's still getting breastfed. So this is what I'm saying to Destiny.

Like, you know what popped in my mind is, did you watch Sex and the City? Yes, of course. Do you remember Charlotte was married to that guy, Trey? Yes, yes, yes. Who, like, what Trey was, Trey couldn't have sex, right? Like, he couldn't get hard. Yep.

And he had that weird overbearing mother. And it was, like, a weird, creepy mother relationship. Yes. That happens in real life. I know that happens in real life. Yeah. Like, I'm just wondering, hey, Destiny, so, like, you know, I don't think that you liked our advice last time. But now that you've given us more information, I'm not sure.

I don't think she's going to like it. I'm not sure if you're going to like what we're saying this time. But, like, is your husband Trey from Sex and the City, which makes you Charlotte? Like, are you married to a dude who's, like, has this kind of attachment issue with his mother? Because that whole thing is weird. It really is. Yeah. Like, I don't think your husband should be mean-girling you out of his relationship with his mother-in-law.

But, like, does your mother-in-law see you as competition? Because that's next level. Like, okay, there are different layers of it. Like the most, one of the most extreme layers is Trey from Sex and the City and his fucking weird ass mother. Yeah. And then there are lesser versions of that. Like there are moms of sons who like want to be the most important woman in their son's

lives, even after they, like the sons leave home and like start a family of their own. It's very strange. I've dated guys who aren't like Trey, but I've dated guys whose moms are like, anyway, it's weird. And only see their sons, like they think that, you know, heaven is coming out of the anus of their child. Totally. Especially the boy.

You know what I mean? Like, oh, bend over because I want to look at the divine. It's up your asshole. Yes, it's true. It's so true. It's so true. So I don't know if that is what Destiny's situation is and what degrees of weirdness, but I don't think your mother-in-law is the issue.

Your relationship with your husband and your expectations of how your husband should support you is the issue. And if you've made it clear, Destiny, to him, if you have made it clear and you haven't really said, like, if you have made it clear to him, you need to support me. Why haven't you spoken up? This is very hurtful. This makes me feel uncomfortable. when are you going to stand up for me um and if he continues to shirk and dodge and squirrel away

and tray it away then i think that you need like it's a reckoning are you're gonna have to be like okay is this something that you're just willing to endure or if he's not willing to stand up for you are you willing to throw down so the next time that woman says something rude are you willing to just step it up and be like, you have been targeting me for the last five, whatever, however long you and Destiny, you and Trey have been together. Now I'm just calling your husband Trey. Sorry. So however long you and Trey have been together, if this woman, you have been rude to me for five years. What is it? Uh, what was Trey's mother's name? I don't know. Let's call her like Muriel, Muriel, what can I do to make our relationship better? So yell at her and then

softly ask her what she should do. Yell at her to be firm. I'm super aggressive tonight. So I, yeah, you seem like highly, highly aggressive. Um, I was going to just say exactly that, like a man like that has a very hard bunny bunny. Trey's mother was bunny. Of course it was funny. Oh my God, you're right. Right. Yeah. Oh, she was like that, like preppy, like Chanel. So Destiny should be like, honey, what can I do? It doesn't seem like anything I do is good enough. Because, and that, and that's where I was going with that because the trouble with these men is they have a very difficult time choosing. They actually will not choose between mother and wife. Like they just, they want to play both sides. And so Destiny really only has two choices if

her husband after talking to him still doesn't choose her is to I don't know I don't you know it's they just got married so I'm not going to say divorce but like that could be an option but the other one is coming firm right stepping up to bunny and being like yo homie like this is not I am not this is the future that I want with your son and I'm not going to have this kind of shit every time I walk in the house right like every time we see each other I'm not going to want to feel left out. Yeah. So yes. And then you can deliver the softer blow, which is like, how are we going to meet in the middle here so that we can be respectful when we're in each other's presence? But you should have the talk to Trey first. I mean, like, you know, you're not

doing like, yeah, you, Destiny, you and Trey have to have the chat. Like you have to set your expectation. Yeah. A little therapy might be in the works here. Anyway, Destiny, I hope that helped or was, you know, and Destiny, if you were leaving those iTunes reviews, fucking erase that one. I mean, I listen to me. I, I love hate mail. So I know you do. I don't to me, Destiny. Okay. While every other channel is fighting for your customer's attention, podcasts are where they've already given it. No one accidentally listens to a podcast for 45 minutes. They choose to be here. They trust the voice in their ears. And when that voice talks about your brand, it doesn't sound like advertising. It sounds like a recommendation

from a friend. Acast gives you that trust at scale, digital precision, post-read authenticity, and performance data that proves it worked. Don't fight for attention. Buy it with Acast. Learn more by visiting acast.com slash advertise. Dear Sasha and Lainey, disclaimer, I fully realize this is a shallow question. My boyfriend, let's call him Levi, we're in a super long distance relationship. I'm in Asia for work. He's in North America. We're early 30s and haven't seen each other in nearly two years.

Wow. Okay. That is super long distance. We had plans for him to visit me here, but COVID. We FaceTimed. Sorry, wait. Did she say two years? They haven't seen each other in two years?

Yeah. Wow. I missed that. Keep on going. Okay. Okay. We FaceTime regularly, although we both prefer talking on the phone to video chat. but we do see each other. The problem is it's mostly just our faces. I will send him more

full body shots, but he isn't really the selfie type and isn't hanging out with people where photos would be taken. But then yesterday he did send me a three quarter body shot at work in response to the work selfie I sent him. Here's where my true monster is revealed. I was really taken aback to see what he looks like now. He's put on weight pretty much all in his stomach. He was never ripped before, but in the nearly two years since we've seen each other, he's definitely gained weight and I'm not attracted to that. If we were in person, I might subtly encourage him to work out with me or I'd be able to see what his eating or exercise habits are. But since we're long distance, I have no idea. He always talks about his running and how he

lifts a ton of boxes every night as part of his side gig. And by the way, he's been low-key bragging about having big arms now. I thought he was in shape. My two-part question is, in the vein of the, am I the asshole thread on Reddit? Am I the shallow monster? I genuinely am curious to get both your opinions. And secondly, is this something I can broach with him? How do I do that? Keep in mind because we don't see each other. I have no idea what his day-to-day looks like, but really, um, I'm worried when we finally do see, I'm worried when we finally do see each other, he's going to expect sparks and sex and I'm frankly not going to be into it or him. Please help me. Um, Emily. Okay. Emily and Levi. Um, I have so many questions. I, I know you do. I could

see you smiling, reading it. Okay, go. Okay. So question away. Um, okay. So they haven't seen each other in two years now. So what's to say they're not going to see each other for another two years? And that's, that's my question for Emily here is that, listen, what works for me doesn't work for Emily and what works for Emily doesn't work for me. So I'm not here to talk like about whether or not long distance relationships can work. Clearly it's working for Emily and Levi and they haven't seen each other for two years. I would imagine then like one of the benefits of a long distance relationship where two years can go by and you don't see each other is like, I don't you can kind of let your gut slide. Yeah, but I also find it weird. My other question for her is

how can you go on for like, what seems like maybe a year not seeing someone's bottom half? That was my next question. Okay, good. Because that's where that's where I was like, like, I don't understand how you haven't seen the bottom half of him for this long. Well, okay. She says that they prefer voice calls as opposed to FaceTime calls. They do see each other occasionally, I guess. So whatever they do, like their kink, they do over the phone, like just talking, like good old-fashioned phone sex. So you don't need to see the bottom half. And I know what you're saying because, of course, who am I? I don't know anything. I haven't had a long-distance relationship with someone for two years where I was in China and the other person

was very far into another country. I'm just not sure that in two years you can have like a really close relationship with someone if it's just on the phone. I don't buy that 100% and I'll go further because if I was with someone for two years and we were like really connected and we really knew each other and I saw that they were gaining weight and they were like unhappy about or something I'd probably ask them about it like the fact that she is writing us first before talking to him like trying to motivate him right she was like oh you know I wouldn't either if I was in in his life I would go to the gym with him she can still do fucking virtual workouts with him she can still like like they can prep dinner together like if she really wants to help him

then she still can like I just don't understand like how do you have a relationship with someone for two years and you can't have those interactions I don't know I mean I think what you're getting at is a certain suspicion like emily are you looking for a reason to break up with levi and that's your reason or have you tricked yourself into the fact that you're just with a guy that you don't really know that well i i'm like i said i think that there are so many gaps of information here but like on face value which essentially is what she's asking face value yes is she the asshole look we're attracted to what we're attracted to and uh there's it's it's it's it's tricky but my attraction wouldn't wouldn't be a like a flip of a switch i wouldn't be like

oh i'm so into this guy so into this guy oh god he's gained a few pounds yeah gross i i need to tap out like this is so disgusting for me like that wouldn't be is emily looking for like an excuse to tap out you're smart then yeah that could be you're right that could be actually it this could be the excuse that she's looking for. Because, but I, I don't want to get into the territory where like, you know, I don't know why it's been two years that they haven't seen each other. They were supposed to, and then COVID happened. So that was what, seven months ago, let's call it, eight months, not eight. Okay. Asia, let's call it nine months ago. Okay. No, actually March. I mean, February. No, because if you think about it, they were two months before

us. So January. Okay. Right. Um, so you're in Asia. Okay. So let's call it one and one year in three months, you hadn't seen each other because they were supposed to see each other in a year and three months. So I don't know, like if you were really into each other, you're desperate to see each other. Right. So. Correct. But then I think about like all the stories you hear about people who have to leave their country and leave their family behind and sometimes they don't get to see their spouses for like five or six years or their children for five or six years um and that's out of necessity like a lot of times that's financial necessity and you're like doing something for the good of your family and you make that choice um but i just

don't think that Emily and Levi are in that situation. I feel like there's long distance that way, right? There is long distance that way where you don't have the choice. You don't have the money. You don't have the circumstance of whatever you can't fly home. I wish that was more laid out for us. I jumped to conclusion just thinking that I feel like maybe they're just like these like telephone pen pals and they don't have anything else cracking and they like each other enough that they're just doing this and having this nice relationship but I don't think it's I don't know if it's as deep as it really um should be so and I just and I and I do agree with you lady like I do think that she's probably looking for an escape route because if it was that

deep if it was that connected I just don't think you would be writing us being like oh gross can I pull the plug on him? Like, I just, I don't, that doesn't read. Yeah. I, can you, Emily, we need more, first of all, we need more information, but we need like, I just been going back here and, um, she's in Asia for work. So they would have met in North America. He's in North America. They're in their early thirties. You have, they haven't seen each other in almost two years. We had plans for him to visit me here, but thanks COVID. Okay. So, uh, you still went a year and a half without seeing each other so was there circumstances like i i you know was there like a desperation and a yearning to see each other or are you just like in but again it's it's

weird to not see somebody not want to see them visually i get that they want to fucking like fucking you know work one out just audio but why aren't you looking why aren't you checking in with that person on facetime all the time like that would be a necessity in a relationship a long distance one especially one that you know they haven't seen each other in two years a necessity to see them naked below the waist not naked how about just from the neck up the fact that they don't even really do that all that often is strange to me she said that they do should we facetime regularly but they prefer to talk on the phone but they do see each other but only from from the waist up from the neck up i i would say then finally she saw the fine quarter body shot

I mean it had been a while that where she saw a three-quarter body shot so I guess it's also like you know with FaceTime you're just like this but I listen if I showed you my three-quarter body shot right now you'd probably be like oh okay like it's not looking like it was in fucking March because everybody's kind of let themselves fucking go not a fucking big deal and even if they haven't let themselves go if they're fucking like who cares the weight thing to me is kind of a non-issue. Um, it's more, why is she so, why is she so looking to pull out of this relationship so quickly? Well, anyway, it's she's, well, she's worried that she'll want to pull out of the relationship once she sees him and isn't attracted to him. I listen, Emily, I, I think

that if this really, if we're going too deep into this and this is not exactly what the situation is then this is a simple fix are you the asshole no whatever we all know that most of us before we have a big event coming up we want to do our best and look our best so you know we'll eat better we'll go get some facials in regular times we'll maybe get a new outfit if it's the same as you if you knew that he was coming to see you or you were going home to see him you would you know step it up a step it up a bit and he probably will too so sure there or not okay yeah but that was her question we have to like at least yes check off okay your question is so are you the oh right whatever that's what we're doing i mean but don't worry about this when it comes time to

see each other again he's gonna step it up he's gonna be so excited he's gonna be like oh i in a month i've booked my ticket i'm going to see emily i'm gonna just you know buy a new outfit this and that and the other. So don't worry about that. But in the meantime, what I had suggested at the top of this, which was fucking do some like virtual workouts with him, like prep dinner together. Like that should actually be a thing that you guys are doing anyway. Spending time together and looking at each other and doing stuff. And if that means that you can squeeze in some healthier things for him to do, great. Great. But if this is deeper, then investigate your feelings. Then we've already told you then we've already we've already hinted to that this is deeper investigate your feelings

are you really yeah is this it or are you looking for a reason to like you know not be in a two-year long distance relationship whilst in china you know if you're somewhere in asia you're meeting interesting people like asia is way more open than north america because they got a handle on their fucking covid no joke unlike here so you're still going to restaurants and dinners and doing all kinds of fun stuff and meeting fun people and beautiful people. I mean, I'm imagining you're in Korea and like all the beautiful people. Of course you are. And maybe you're being tempted. I mean, there's some really beautiful people in Hong Kong and I mean, everywhere. Before we get you to spiral, let's move on. Anyway, Emily, good luck. But don't worry. I

mean, when time comes, Levi will bring it. All right, next. Hi, Sasha and Lainey. Help. I live in a small town where everyone knows everyone's business. This hasn't really been a problem in my little world until recently. A couple from the neighboring town have moved to Pleasantville. Let's call them Madonna and Guy. They are known to our friend group because many of them went to high school together. I know we don't get out much. They asked to join our slow pitch team and things got kind of weird. There's a rumor that Madonna hooked up with one of our friends, A-Rod.

These names are so funny. Thank you for that. It's better when people make them up. Okay. But go on. Yeah. Okay. So the setting is Pleasantville.

It's a small town. Madonna and Guy moved to the hood. Madonna may have had an affair with A-Rod, one of her friends. Am I caught up? Yeah. Yep, you're caught up. Okay.

Oh, yeah. There is a rumor that Madonna hooked up with one of our friends, A-Rod, many years ago, but everyone seemed to move past it. A-Rod remained married with kids. Madonna has a long-term partner and a new baby. Fast forward to last year, pre-COVID, and A-Rod and Madonna were playing footsies at a tournament and disappeared after the beer gardens for a bit. Beer gardens for the slow pitch thing?

Wow. It's obviously a big thing. A community dream. A-Rod then stopped coming to ball and group functions after that. One night after drinking a bit too much, I got bold and I asked Madonna if they had hooked up. She got upset and said they used to talk a lot, but she feels like they never got a chance to explore a romantic relationship and she's always wondered if they would work as a couple. She said she's not that happy with Guy. I didn't know what to say other than I was friends with Cynthia and did not want her

to get hurt. I'm assuming Cynthia is A-Rod's partner. A-Rod's partner. Must be. I happened to walk into my kids' practice this winter to find Cynthia crying and upset about A-Rod being a jerk. They'd been working on their relationship and seemed to be making some positive strides until A-Rod said some awful things like he wished he'd never gotten married or had kids,

wished he'd lived in the city, and apparently he's been a total jerk for the past 15 years. She is now standing up for herself and said she wanted to separate. He left for a few days, but he talked his way back in and often says the right things before snapping and being a jerk again. Basically, I've just been listening and trying to be supportive, but a few weeks ago, a friend told me that A-Rod and Madonna are in contact again, and he told Madonna that he has a girlfriend in the city and that when he goes to work in the city, he's actually seeing her. I don't have solid proof, so I haven't said anything to Cynthia, but should I? Last week, he packed up all his stuff and went to the city only to return today saying he's sorry and he

wants to be better for her and their family. Am I being a meddling bitch? My husband says I should stay out of it, but I think I would want to know. Well, first of all, I'm going to remove bitch from there i don't think you're you might be a meddling person but why are you calling yourself a bitch yeah this is called some good friends yeah you didn't name yourself actually so we've got a rod madonna i'm scared that sin i'm scared that cynthia is the real name and that our writer forgot to not give cynthia an alias it got like really cool and like celebrity and i was like cynthia okay but anyway that's not not our foul not our foul anyway it's her real name so uh no no i think no no no it's because cynthia is a rod's first wife's name oh i would not have

known that okay thank you that's why you're here okay so who's why don't we call who what do we want to call this person j-lo okay j-lo jennifer jennifer um all right wow this is a saga yes okay i don't jennifer i don't think first of all you're not a bitch you might be meddling but you're not a bitch let's just you're concerned that you're concerned you're yeah okay so there's some small town hanky-panky shit that's happening should jennifer tell Cynthia that A-Rod is a fucking douchebag?

I think Cynthia already knows. That's what I was going to say. Cynthia doesn't need the extra detail of maybe A-Rod meeting Madonna. She knows her man is up to no good. She knows her man is a piece of shit to her and she's still sticking around.

Will this extra bit of intel be the push? I'm going to say no. From experience that is just not what happens. You tell your friend thinking that you're doing a good deed and that it'll be that, you know, it'll just be that thing that'll motivate them to finally let go. Typically is it they might pretend to for a bit and then they get back together. Cynthia is in a mess of a marriage, has been for 15 years, and she is just going to have to dig herself out of this one. Yeah. Jennifer. Yeah, go ahead. Well, I think all that Jennifer can do is just

continue to support Cynthia like she has been. Sorry, go on. I agree with I think I think that is the advice because I think the key to this, Jennifer, is the last thing that you wrote. I think I would want to know and I would too, but that's you. And that's me. Like it's hard. I know that it's tempting to apply the things that we want and what we would do to a given situation, but that's why we're all unique individuals. Like, you know, I think it's established that you would have made different choices than Cynthia so far. So I think we've established that since up to this point, you would have made different choices than Cynthia. You can't really say, I would want to know and apply that to Cynthia. You actually don't know

what's best for Cynthia or what Cynthia wants. So in light of that, instead of you having any influence on this situation, so far you have not influenced this situation at all. You've been a listener. You've heard people's perspectives and point of view, but you have not been a catalyst for anything. And you should not, I would actively say that the way that you can contribute if you want to contribute is keep listening, keep taking in the information, but you don't have to serve it to anybody. How about if she finds something's actually damning, right? Because at this point, She's like, I've got no hard facts. How about if she has facts?

I still stand by my, I don't think that would make a difference. But do you, would that change your opinion to Jennifer? If she was saying, I saw A-Rod and Madonna together and they were fucking holding hands. Would that change it for you? I think in this situation, no, no. But like Madonna is the one who found out from A-Rod that he has a different girlfriend in the city. Oh, right. Yeah.

Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. So I don't want to drag Madonna in here. Madonna's cool. Okay, sorry. City girl. I, listen, I think that every situation is so different. There are times when, like, if you bust, like, the spouse of a person you know, you would be torn.

Like, should I tell or whatnot? Yeah. Especially if, like, that person is completely in the dark, right? In the dark. But the thing is, Jennifer, Cynthia has had her signs. Here's a man who has said to her, to her face, I wish I never married you. I wish I chose a different life from you. I wish, basically, basically, I regret you.

He said it to her face. Yeah. It's not like Cynthia's walking around in this, in this, like, utopia where she thinks she is the best husband in the world who only wants to be with her and she, and he loves her so much and he is the most loyal. like i think that she just needs time to come around you don't need to push her off the cliff well i think the build up here but you don't need to push her off of it you're right and i think the build up here is like cynthia yeah as you said she's not fucking walking around being like this

is like the best marriage she's also not walking around being like i'm super confident right like she's been in a relationship where someone's had her like under his thumb and made her feel like shit. So this information is just going to make her feel more shitty. It's not going to empower her at this point. Yeah. So the best thing you can do as a friend is try to find ways to build up her confidence so that she can start seeing that she has strength. Right. So that one day she will come to that conclusion when she's built enough inner fucking confidence to leave this motherfucker. Because listen, if someone's playing footsies in front of his wife at a fucking softball game or wherever the fuck they are. He knows he can get away with it all. And no woman is that

big of a fucking dummy. Cynthia knows what's up. And, uh, this, as we keep on saying, won't be the thing that enlightens her to leave him. So Cynthia knows what's up. She just hasn't like confronted it yet. Right. And that has to be on with herself, with herself. Yeah. It has to be on her time. And And I don't know that, I don't know that, Jennifer, you need to be the one to get her to that place. What you do need to be is a friend. Yeah. And. And you seem to be doing a good job of it thus far.

So keep on going. Wait for the day. The day is coming where she's going to need to sleep on your couch or get you to pick her up somewhere. Like, let her cry it out for 12 hours. Go get drunk with her or whatever. but right now I would just like you know stand back for and

receive the information but you don't have to use it I agree yeah okay well keep your questions coming to me at Sasha at LaineyGossip.com leave comments leave comments so I can read them tell me I'm a cunt like I said I don't care

Sasha doesn't like me but I love it hate me hate me hate me no I don't want people to one star us just to spite you, but send her a direct email. If you need to hate on her, send her a fucking direct email. Um, and we will be back soon. Take care of yourselves. Bye. Do you keep hearing podcast ads like this one, for example, but always wonder how you actually

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