What's Your Drama - Our Rihanna Lady Boner & Shaming a Fool

Episode Date: June 28, 2017

Welcome back to another Sasha Answers Podcast!On today's show: We invite Rihanna onto the show (dear God, please make this happen), Lainey unleashes on a desperate fool, which was really scary yet thrilling to witness, and how to kick a friend to the curb.Thank you for tuning in. Keep your questions coming to me at [e-mail] or tweet us at @sasha_tong and @laineygossip. And check us out on iTunes and Google Play to leave your comments so we can keep moving up the ranks - we love the feedback.S.xo  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

You've got social dialed in. Search is doing its thing. So why do your marketing results look the same as six months ago? That's because you're fishing in the same pond as everyone else. Podcast listeners are a different audience entirely. More engaged, harder to reach through traditional channels, and ready to act when someone they trust makes a recommendation. We're Acast, and we put them right in front of you. Browse thousands of the world's leading podcasts, book host reads or run your own ads, and track every conversion in real time. Same skills you already have, brand new results. Acast. Acast.com slash advertise. Hi, it's Lainey and welcome to the Lainey Glossopodcast for Sasha Answers.

Hi. Hi, how's it going? Good. I feel like I would like to begin this show with an invitation to Rihanna. Oh, yeah, please. Rihanna seems to be really good at giving relationship and heartbreak advice. Yeah. So, hey, Rihanna.

Not that this would ever fucking happen, but hey, Rihanna, if you would like to guest star on Sasha Answers. Oh, my God. Do you? It's so funny that you said this because before I was coming here, I was like, I wanted to bring this up because you're talking about the fact that she answered one of her fans through DM. Yeah, someone DM'd her and the person was going through their first breakup. Yeah, heartbreak. Struggling with heartbreak and asked her for advice, was like, does this get any better?

And she was like, you know what, cry if you have to, but just know you're not going to cry forever. Yeah, and you'll be okay. You'll find love again. And coming from someone like her is, it's like, it's especially powerful because we all know what she dealt with in terms of her love life. I hate Chris Brown. But yes, right?

The most public thing you could imagine, the most traumatizing, one of the most traumatizing things a person can go through. And it doesn't matter, like, yes, she's a famous woman and she has all kinds of resources at her disposal and yet that still happened to her and it was, like, everybody knew about it. We saw it. Remember that interview with Oprah? Yeah.

And Diane Sawyer. And so candid and so, like, normal. So this is it. Like, for me, and I've been thinking about this actually quite a bit. You know how people always, in the jobs that we're in, we're around celebrities all the time, and no one, really, people ask me all the time, like, who would you, like, who have you freaked out about? I really, really, really haven't.

Like, I've been in front of Brad Pitt. I've been in front of fucking Justin Timberlake. I don't, it doesn't do anything for me. Well, bad example. Like, one suck, like, I… Well, no, but think, no, Justin, for me, Justin Timberlake, like, I wouldn't… Still? Now?

No, but, like, back in the day. I sucked his D in a second when it was insane. That was like my dream. Even when, even New Kids on the Block, like I love New Kids on the Block. When I see them in our studio, I'm like, meh, like I walk by them like it's no big deal. I would have fucking shat my pants a couple of decades ago. You were a little high on Charlie Hunnam.

Like you made a few more passes around the studio than I. I usually don't do that. But just because he's hot, I didn't freak out. I would have done that with any hot guy. but so yeah like I don't really have anybody that I would really be excited to meet like I would actually be more excited to see Rihanna than Beyonce I feel like Rihanna is the shit and like also this weekend she has been tweeting all these world leaders with the hashtag fund education and she's like totally on pushing this mandate about people actually investing in youth and education

Like, she's just fucking dope. She really is. Like, she clearly is philanthropic, and sometimes we don't see it. Like, she does a lot of shit undercover. She's a great businesswoman. Like, the shoe line, the clothing line, all, like, fashion designers really respect Rihanna's sense of visual and play and imagination. Like, I mean, that's why she, every year at the Met Gala, it's always Rihanna, right?

Like, I love the fact that she's willing to go out there. Like, she's never going to show up in some fucking safe Oscar de la Renta whatever. But even if she does, we're all like, oh my God, she went classic. Yay. Like, she can do no wrong. She can do no fucking wrong. And her music's awesome. And she's funny.

Yes. Like, she's also not super, like, not at all straight-laced. Like, she will slap you if she needs to. Yeah. Like, and her whatever, clapbacks, are hilarious and timely and quick and sharp. So she's not like a, you know, a goody-goody sitting around being like, just everybody peace and love and light. No.

Like, there's, I don't know. She's perfect. Yeah. So can you go back to, like, secreting that? So what is wrong with Drake, anyway? But, well, there's lots of things wrong with Drake, I think, as a partner. But can we just go back to just secreting Rihanna? can you imagine if she was sitting at this dining room table with like her nipples and all giving

fucking relationship advice? I would fucking die. Like that is what I want. I need that to be something. I know you don't believe in secreting shit, nor do I really, but can we just put that out there in the universe? I would fucking lose my mind. Look, if Renata was in my house, I don't know. Like Yasik would be useless. I don't think we'd have a podcast because he couldn't like, do the sound engineering for it. Oh, because he would lose his mind. Oh my God, he loves Rihanna too. Who the fuck knew that? Okay. Yeah, he does. So yeah, I mean, it's Rihanna. And it's also like TLC, TLC, God, I fucking love TLC. They were just in an interview the other day and they were saying how there's just like really no great pop stars anymore. There's no new Madonnas. There's no new

princes. There's no new Michael Jacksons. There really are not because they all just start on YouTube and they're fucking lame teen stars now. But Rihanna is one of those, even though she's so young, she's almost like old school artist. She really, really worked her way into the music industry and she's fucking rad. I can't get enough of her right now. Hi, Rihanna. Hi, Rihanna. Can you please sit at this dining room table with us one day? Next time you're in Toronto in the six. She likes Toronto. She knows Toronto. Please. Come to the beaches. Have you spent any time here, Rihanna? Maybe you haven't. We'll provide weed. We don't smoke weed, but we'll do anything you want. We'll all sit around here with like sheer tops. We'll smoke weed and listen to your music

and give a relationship advice. It would be amazing. Speaking of, shall we? Is it my turn this week? It sure is. Okay. Okay. Here's the first one. So here's the story. Two months ago, I hooked up with this guy. He's a friend of a friend we'd met before, but only in passing. This last time we really hit it off and he came home with me. We had sex, hung out the next day, started texting a lot. You know how it goes. We kept talking every day, hooked up for the next two months and had a general great time together. I caught the feelings and everyone warned me not to because this guy is basically the hottest person I've ever seen IRL. The sex was the best of my life. I figured I was going to get hurt, but who cared? It was worth it as long as

I could ride this wave. Then he gave me herpes. Or did he? I had a full-on outbreak. I saw my doctor, got tested, the results were positive. I told him after I got tested that I didn't yet know what it was, but that something was definitely going on down there and he should also probably get tested. Then he tells me after the last two times we hooked up, he got a rash, but it went away after a couple of days, so he didn't think it was anything to worry about. He also said he saw a doctor who told him not to worry. We'll get back to this later.

Once I knew the results of my test, I told him, told him he had to get tested, and waited. Yesterday, he told me that his results were negative for both HSV-1 and HSV-2. Mine were positive for HSV-1. Then he went on a tirade about how he couldn't possibly have given it to me, how he clean except neither of us can know that for sure because your doctor will only test for herpes if you have an outbreak. I've done a lot of research. The good news, it's not debilitating. I can only spread it when I'm… I can only spread it in when I'm having an outbreak. My outbreak should become less severe with time. The bad news, I have herpes. Now for the question. I still like him.

I still want to see him. We haven't slept together or seen each other since the initial sign of infection. He for sure thinks I'm some sort of a disease carrier. I still think he's the hottest, best sex of my life. And I also like him. Yes, I know I'm a fool, but I also know I'm not willing to walk away. So how do I say that I want to see him again without seeming totally out of touch with the situation? But maybe he wants to see me again too and was spooked by the whole STD thing. Give it to me straight. Thanks. F. Okay. So first of all, I think we don't say STD anymore. We go STI. So, okay. Well… What are your initial thoughts about this? I just want to go back to the statement that F has made for herself and towards the end of this

letter. And she says, yes, I know I'm a fool. So, maybe that's a good takeoff point. Yeah. Your name is starting with F and you've called yourself a fool. So, I'm just going to keep calling you fool for the rest of this answer. All right. All right. Great. So you're feeling a little bit spicy right now. Well, so she doesn't say if they were exclusive during the two months that they were hooking up. I had no doubt they were. So, well, if she was exclusive, like she doesn't say if she was exclusive. Oh, okay. Okay. Oh, I see what you mean. Yes, yes, yes. Right? So anyway, are you, what are you, I'm trying to read your face right now. Are

Are you trying to nail her down because she is blaming this one guy for giving it to her when it could, in fact, have been someone else? Well, like, she had a herpes outbreak after having two months of awesome ride the wave, quote, with him. Yes. And so now she has herpes, which is fine. It's not debilitating. Whatever.

Lots of people have it. And now you know more information about it. And you live with it. You live with it? Great. Not great, but yeah. It is what it is. Not the point of this discussion.

Yeah. So her statement was, I wanted to ride this wave for as long as I could. Then he gave me herpes. Or did he? Right. So he's currently not in an outbreak. So he can't be tested, as she's saying. Yes.

So, you know, when she found out something was wrong with her, she went and told him immediately saying she suspects that he gave it to her and clearly he didn't give her the same courtesy. Exactly. And yet the fool wants to keep seeing him. So I'm just like, and she wants us to give advice on how to keep seeing him. How can she climb up on his dick again and keep riding the wave? Right.

Great. So we're going to answer the question, I think, the question she wants answered. We're going to answer that question. Yes. Okay. So you continue to be you, which is a fool. Yeah. Okay.

So here's how you do it. You call him up and you say, hey, even though maybe you don't want to see me anymore, I'm so fucking desperate for you. I will do anything for you. I have no pride for you. So can you just come over to my house and stick your dick in me? Yeah. Thanks.

Yeah. Text him. Facebook him, slide into his DMs, tweet him, tell all your friends you want him, make a sign, take some money out, put it on the billboard on the highway. That is what you do. Any more ideas? Do you have, Sash? How else can a fool make a fool out of herself?

Because what she wants is advice on how to keep being a fool. So what other ways can a woman be foolish? I want you guys to know how scary it is to be on the other side of this table right now. She is waving her hands. She's pointing at me and yelling at me like I am the fool. Fuck, dude, you've said it all. Oh, no, she could send him flowers. She could send him flowers.

What? No, no. Open, open an expense account at his favorite store. Hey, if you come over and fuck me, go shopping on me. Right, right. How about that? Right. fuck, you've laid it out. What do you want me to say? I fucking agree with you. I think it's

really lame. I think it's so lame that you can get so used and abused and still want to fucking knock on that door. Like it just makes me, it makes me sad for you, fool. Like I just wish that you would gain some self-esteem, gain some self-worth and realize that just because someone's good looking, that doesn't mean shit if he's giving you nothing back in return. Look, you've even said it yourself. He doesn't even think you're clean. You just told us that he thinks you're dirty. And you're okay with that? I think you need to check yourself. I just want to repeat what she wrote about when he got his test results back. Quote, then he went on a tirade about how he couldn't possibly have given it to me. How he's clean. Except neither of us can know that for

sure because your doctor will only test for herpes if you have an outbreak. Okay, so then he went on a tirade. Yeah. So, yeah, Sash, I mean… I want to just keep on stuttering. It's a shame. And so let's dial back on the aggressiveness to her because we just want to give her like a little bit of support here which is we've all been there we've all been low enough that we think that we deserve less than and so laney here laney i'm here check it that we're here that we want to instead yes we give a little tough love we want to fucking shame you into realizing that this person no bueno you should not be looking to gain more attention you should not be looking to reach out to him to get fucked there are plenty of other dudes and it's not just because he may have given

her herpes no it's because he didn't number one show her the same courtesy which means that like there's something lots of other girls out there character flaw yeah that's a major character flaw he didn't give you the same courtesy and when you gave him the courtesy and both of you got tested together at the same time and he got his results back and oh he's clean or he doesn't have it he went on tirade at you. And pushed the blame on her. Yeah. Right. So to me, this guy doesn't respect you. But most importantly, I hate the message that this sends. It sends a message that all a guy has to be is hot and know what to do with his hotness and his dick performance. Yeah. That that's the bare minimum. And no wonder, like no wonder, like for guys who

are really hot and can fuck good that's they can coast through life with those things and we see that all the time and I think this is what I'm following this a new girl Amanda Seals who is part of the HBO insecure show and she was she's really funny and she has like all these little great little bits about relationship I guess she's single and she was saying this like I was talking about the fact that women need to start expressing to the men that fuck them over that they fuck them over because you can only you can only create change with your words which is expressing to these guys like you're treating me like shit and these are the reasons why you're doing it so that they can no longer fucking harm other women along the way right like this guy has been coasting

probably hit most of his life on his hotness and has been slaying chicks like fool for years he doesn't know any better because no one's fucking told him to be any better and so I think these are like the these are the opportunities where women need to fucking grow a set and fucking confront the people that treat them like shit and unfortunately fool is not there yet but I hope she gets there one day so that she can start fucking gaining more respect from the people that she is dating sleeping with etc and until then um fool what you can do is um co-sign a mortgage I still have more ideas I know you do

Because that was Fool's question Yeah Okay Bake him a cake So Co-sign a mortgage Or just buy him a house

Yes Like even if you Don't have a house Buy a house And sign the deed Of the house Over to him Okay

Okay We're good We're good Yeah Yeah I could keep going I know you could Alright so Fool

Good luck And Well keep me posted Don't keep Lainey posted. Keep me posted. I want you to get over this. I don't want you to be a sucker. I don't want you to be a sucker anymore.

We're ACAST, and we put them right in front of you. Browse thousands of the world's leading podcasts, book host reads or run your own ads, and track every conversion in real time. Same skills you already have, brand new results. ACAST. ACAST.com slash advertise. Okay, so next. Next.

Hi, Sasha and Lainey. For my birthday, I set up a dinner date with friends at a restaurant. Kay was one of many friends at the dinner. It was the first time I'd seen her in months. She sat across from me and we had a nice casual chat. A male friend asked how I met a couple of my girlfriends sitting further down the table. I told them I met them in college and I'd been friends with them for many years. Kay and I also met in college.

Kay made a face and said, well, they're not really your friends though. I was confused and said, yeah, they're my friends. I've known them for over 12 years. She turned to the person who asked the question and said, they're MJ's sister's friends. That's how she knows them Then she turned back to me and said in a peeved tone They're not really your friends because I don't know them and I'm your friend I was flabbergasted

Kay had a stink face situation going on And it was weird as fuck for everyone around the table It was clear she was jealous and feeling left out FYI, she doesn't know my other friends well Because when we hang out, it's usually just two of us It got worse as the night went on Someone asked me how my business school application was progressing and before I could say much, Kay butted in and said that she didn't know I was applying.

Then she said I would get in for sure because I'm Asian. Again, what the fuck? I addressed my problem with her statement right then and there. She continued to annoy me the rest of the dinner with snide comments. Her level of petty and jealousy was off the wall. We had our issues before this dinner. She's a needy friend but doesn't initiate any hang time. When we do see each other, she only talks about herself

and barely lets me get in a word edgewise. The last time I saw her, I told her I was frustrated with the dynamics of our friendship and that she would need to initiate next time we meet up, hence the reason why it's been many months since I saw her last. My question to you two is, how do you know when it's time to cut a friend loose and how to do it? She doesn't help me grow as a person and she's been petty and possessive our entire friendship. If she were a boyfriend, I would have dumped her a long time ago. Your two cents are appreciated.

Thanks, MJ. Wow. We've talked about friend breakups. You had a couple of friend, major friend breakups, right? Like a few years ago? Yeah. Yeah. Like a long time ago now.

A long time ago. Like, wow. But, yeah. What kind of breakup was it? Was it one where you just were like, bye, see you never? Or was it something that you had to explain and like actually do some drawn out breakup? The final thing was we had it out over the phone. Okay.

Where I was like, this is why you suck. Yeah. Bye. Right. And then, like, I think a year after that, Fiona, like, we met… Fiona and I… Fiona's my best friend. Yes. And this girl was friends with Fiona first. Oh, okay.

And so Fiona and I got closer and closer because this person sucked. Yeah. And Fiona hadn't broken up with her yet, but was like feeling the same thing. Yeah. It's just I got there sooner. And then a year after, she did this stupid ass thing with Fiona and then Fiona just kind of stopped calling. That's Fiona's style.

Yeah. My style is… Confront that shit. Yeah. Yeah. I've only had one friend breakup and I also had… I didn't do the phone, but I did email and was like, I don't like you. And these are also the reasons why you suck and are no longer beneficial in my life. But in this circumstance, it seems

like our writer has kind of been giving her the fade out because even before this dinner, she hadn't seen her for months, which is probably why her friend came out with so much fucking tood and was dropping all these passive aggressive remarks. How did she say how long she's been friends with this chick for? 12 years. 12 years, right? Like a really long time. Yeah. I feel like when you're friends with someone… Well, no. 12 years was the other friends. Oh. The ones that she's like, I didn't know them. But she knew them from… I think she knows her from university. So it's been like a decent amount of time. Yeah. I'm going to assume. Oh, they met in college. Okay. So I… if she… I'm going to assume that if they met in college, I'm just going to… and this is

not like how it always goes, but typically if you're meeting in college and you're doing your undergraduate and she's applying to business school, I'm going to assume that it wasn't, like, it can't be more than five, six years, no? Okay. Oh, right, you're right, because she's in like her master's or something like that. Right. I still think you kind of owe, like, I'm all for a fade out, which is, I think, what the, what our writer's been doing, as I said.

But then I think you need to do, like, a one-two chop. And I think that that needs to happen with either a phone call or an email. Like, I feel like you owe it to that person to explain to them why you don't like them. Do you agree? I don't… I mean, I feel like it's about personal style. And also, it's about how they communicate. Like, she kind of already laid out the last time or one of the last few times they met

why this person was disappointing her, right? She was like… they got together and she expressed… what did she say here? She said, the last time I saw her, I told her I was frustrated with the dynamics of our friendship and that she would need to initiate next time we meet, hence the reason why it's been many months since I last saw her. Okay, right. So they have this like… She has expressed, yeah.

They have this thing, she expresses what she thinks of this friend K, then she's the who invites Kay to her birthday and Kay comes and like is an asshole. Right. So I'm not really sure. Like I think that if MJ wants to do the slow fade or just the fade without a confrontation, I think that she's well within her rights to do so. Okay. Yeah.

No, I agree. I agree. I just always think that, I don't know, I feel like this friend is already feeling hurt that she's going to probably come knocking anyway for an explanation. that's why I'm like, just fucking get it over with. And then you don't have to waste any more time with her. But either way, like, I think if you're also looking for some confirmation that you should get rid of this friend, yes. Like I, a hundred percent, she sounds like kind of a bit of a nightmare and, um, yes, super high maintenance, super needy, super clingy and super

bitchy, which is never, these are never things that you should want or look for in a friendship. I don't know what the value of going to someone's birthday and completely embarrassing them is. And then like the racist remark too. Yeah. It's kind of, I don't know, like even if Kay had any ground to stand on, that's not the time and the place. You kind of, if you agree to go, then you agree to make it a good night.

Yeah. You check the attitude of the door. Yeah. There's no reason to humiliate somebody on their birthday in front of other people unless that was the goal. And if that was the goal, then… Which it obviously was, right? Then why do you want that person in your life?

Exactly. So, MJ, like, your question is how do you know when it's time? Well, it's probably time when that person shows up at your birthday and intentionally humiliates you. Yeah. The time was yesterday. Yeah. Yeah.

So if you want, like, yeah, an email or a phone call saying like, listen, I just keep thinking about what you did at my birthday and I really thought it was so offside and it says to me that our friendship is past the point of saving. Yeah. If you want to, but… And then also bring up the point too, if you can, which is, you know, we've talked about this before. We've talked about how, like, our friendship has been kind of rocky lately and you haven't

done anything to change your behavior. You know? Yeah. If you want to. Yeah. Because then it shows that you've tried. Yeah. That you're trying to make it work.

But then at the end you just say, see you. Which you have. I mean, it sounds to me like MJ's done. Yeah. And I feel like MJ's also done enough. Totally. So, MJ, if you want to, yeah, lay out why this person sucks and then peace out. But if you don't want to and you just want to peace out in your mind without a press

release, then… You have every right. You have every right to not issue the press release. Yeah. So, but, yeah, you know. Like, you wouldn't be comparing this to dumping a guy if you wanted to stick around. Agreed. Agreed.

You are not a fool. I know. God, I don't want to go back to that first person. No, I'm just saying. Okay. Like, all I said was MJ's not a fool. I don't know what you're talking about. I'm so scared of this podcast.

I'm so scared of you. What? I can always tell when you're fucking fire and you're fire right now. But I really agree with all your advice. I agree, agree, agree, agree, agree. Okay. Well, on that note. Yeah.

Thank you for listening. Keep your questions coming to Sasha at LadyGossip.com. And check us out on iTunes and Google Play. Leave comments. We'll see you next week. We'll be back next week. Bye. Bye.

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