What's Your Drama - Outdoor/Indoor Clothes & Mixed Messages

Episode Date: February 25, 2021

Welcome back to What's Your Drama. So you know how Lainey always has a mini tantrum about why she always has to read the questions (she does this again this eps) and I tell her it's just in case I have an audio issue. Well guess what, I had an audio issue this week. It's not horrible but just a heads up that it's not as clear this week. But that doesn't take away from any of the drama that we tackle this week.We kick things off with V who is dating a guy who has some rules about cleanliness. I won't spoil it for you but I'm pretty sure Lainey wrote this question.  Then we move on to M who is getting very mixed messages from a co-worker. One minute it's on and then the next it's not. So is M getting dicked around? Spoiler alert: Yes.Finally we end on an X who is finding single life, especially during this pandemic, very difficult. She wants to get her swerve on but hates all the apps out there. If there are any single people out there who wanna chime in on this one my email is always open.We hope you enjoy the show and keep sending me all your DRAMA! Send your advice questions my way at [e-mail]. We also love hearing from you on Twitter at @sasha_tong and @laineygossip and Instagram at @lostandfoundapothecary and @laineygossip. And of course subscribe wherever you get your podcasts, and make sure to leave feedback and comments because it helps others find our show!    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Making out is a bit dirty. Yeah, I mean, in the moment, like, yes, smear it all over me. Like, you know, our smashing faces are smashing against each other. And, like, kisses don't have to, can be a little bit sloppy. But, like, I just don't want to be thinking about whether or not there's a dingleberry. Hi, I'm Lainey Louie, talk show host and entertainment reporter, also the editor of LaineyGossip.com, and I am a BTS fan. Yeah, you are.

I'm Sasha Tong. I am a producer at an entertainment show here in Canada. I'm also a fashion and beauty columnist on LaineyGossip.com. And I am not a big BTS fan. But this is What's Your Drama, where we gossip about you. Oh, but can I tell you about my, also, this is my tutor, Gigi, in China, who I am learning Cantonese twice a week now. Okay.

I'm really excited. I feel like by June, I'll be able to talk to you in like super, super, super beginner type. But my last lesson was confusing because it was days, months, and years. And so I'm trying to wrap my mind around why you sometimes put the date or the time before your action. So I'm very confused about that, to be quite honest with you. You're fucking an asshole. Why am I an asshole?

Because when I said that. Can I just say one thing? When I tell you that I am excited and I am learning Cantonese, this has been like a life goal. And you don't go, cool, great. Oh, that's so great. You come back and say, you're an asshole. Yes, that's our friendship. Okay.

Why am I an asshole? Because when you wanted me to give you lessons, I said our first lesson was going to be numbers. And you were like, why numbers? Fuck that. And now you're doing days and weeks and months, which you need to know numbers to be able to do days and weeks and months. Because the month in Chinese is like Monday is 星期, so 月 is one. Fuck you, asshole. But I didn't know that that was a lesson plan.

How would I have known that January or Monday needed numbers? I know. Now I know. I did know. And that's why I said to you, we're going to learn our numbers. And you were like, numbers? I don't want to know numbers. But then Gigi comes along and she.

Yeah, Gigi's my fucking dish now. So I think I have a right to fuck you, you. No, what you should have done is actually follow through and give me the goddamn lessons instead of fucking carroting them all the way to. Eat shit. it okay so let's talk about something else which is I would really really like to talk and I know this sounds like frivolous but I am slightly concerned that the day that we go back to somewhat normal I won't know how to put on clothes anymore I look at my closet and I

try on jeans the other day and they look bad they look bad they don't look they don't form on my body anymore. And I'm actually seriously wondering what will fashion have changed because of COVID? Will women now be like, you know, fuck that, that we were wearing skinny ass fucking jeans all the time and like high heels, like, like everyone's leaned so far, far deep, deep, deep into comfort. How do you get out of that? I mean, the designers are certainly trying like I'm writing at those collections and I was like oh okay this is there's nothing COVID about this collection like they're what do you mean what collections who all of them like oh like you're talking like high-end like houses yeah okay which as we learned from Meryl Streep

Miranda Priestly in Devil's War Devil Wears Prada always trickles down to the common consumer plebe like us right so cerulean blue um but the the thing is is that to your point it's about like your body our bodies have been or some of our bodies have been accustomed to feeling a certain way right yes and what if like my literally my skin rejects certain fabric I think it would anything like I bought something that like had cashmere and angora typically fucking that is like butter on my skin and I was like oh a little itchy like I was like not used to it I was like where is the fleece and cotton honestly like I think my body is going to reject it and I don't I'm just curious to know if people will keep up with this whole loose elastic loungewear or will

people be dying to get back into their clothes again? Are you? No. Like I'm dying to get into like new track suits that I buy or whatever. Sure. But for me, it's going to be not wearing joggers underneath anything. So when I shoot, like for instance, when I shoot the social every day, I will wear a dress, right? Like, you know, what we've been doing is we've been getting like shipments of clothes and it's supposed to last us for whatever, three weeks. So I'll just, every day I'll just pull out like whatever, a new piece of clothing in the box. Like we have to return it obviously. So, and then, but it just goes over my joggers. It goes over my sweatpants. I don't know what the feeling of wearing a dress with nothing underneath is going to be. And I

don't know if I'm ever going to be used to it again. Right. Dress fabric, anything other than cotton um or like lycra okay so but you're excited to get back into your clothes and will you wear heels like lots of i'm not excited to get back into my jeans like i was just looking at my jeans the other day and i was like do i need all these uh no joke that i will show you the pile i threw out 30 pairs of jeans yesterday 30 i had 30 yeah and i still now have a fuck ton more but i was like what am i gonna do with these i don't fit them i don't want to ever try to get back in them. And like, what the fuck am I ever going to do with them? The only jeans I'll wear now, I don't think I'll ever go back to skinny jeans. I'll wear a boyfriend. Sure. But that's

just like, like a more dressed up jogging. It's a cadet jogger. Totally. Okay. Yeah. I will only wear a boyfriend jean. So I feel like I can, I can say with confidence that I will never wear a skinny jean again. And then update, when do you think? But I will never wear a boot cut fucking millennials or gen z have you heard about this debate no i know that the oh between the boot cut and the skinny yeah and now people are going back to the boot cut and i was like no thank you uh there's no fucking well well i'm not gonna say never but like never to jeans but if i if one day i changed my mind i don't think i'd be like totally against a boot cut if it was high rise. The thing that traumatizes me the most is when people do a boot cut low rise. Cause that's

been doing a thing lately. And that is disgusting to me. Well, that's, I think that's the debate is a low rise boot cut versus a skinny. And people are choosing the boot cut and saying skinny is out. I think both suck and I'm all about the boyfriend. Yeah. Okay. That's it. Okay. So you're going to go back to clothes. So, uh, or some idea or some modified version. Okay. All right yeah i don't know where i stand yet well why don't you update us later i will right people will be really interested to know in like in nine to ten months i'll tell you okay are we ready with drama yeah go okay here's the first question why do i exclusively read now stop no don't do this because it's been a year and this is just what happens you are how did you con me into this

fuck? Because it started as a tech issue because your mic and audio was better. And we're just going to go with it now because I can't concentrate and read at the same time. I'm dumb. Okay, go. You fucking... Anyways. Okay. Hi, Lainey and Sasha. I'll jump in. I've been dating a guy for about three months. He's a total babe, super fit, gorgeous face, and fun personality. He's up for anything, takes good care of me and knows what he's doing and knows is like accentuated. So I'm taking it to mean that he fucks good, right? Wink, wink. Yeah. But, and of course there's always a but, he's a clean freak. I'm never allowed to wear my shoes in his home. I'm never allowed to lay on his bed if I have outside clothes on and I have to take a shower every

time we fool around. Who is this guy? I need to marry him. What? I will need to leave Jacek for this man. He also really likes to make sure I eat really healthy. Oh. He also really likes… Never mind. I'm going to take that back. He also really likes to make sure I eat really healthy and exercise at least four times a week. I'm not a big gym rat, but he motivates me by going with me so at least we're together. I've never had a boyfriend be so rule-oriented, so I'm not sure if this means he's controlling me or this is just some of his quirks coming through. He doesn't tell me what to do in anything else in my life, like my friends, family. But when I'm at his, I do have to make sure I'm extra, extra cognizant of being clean. Is this weird? V. I mean, she gave us her

full name, but we'll just say V. You would like that? You like, like rules and regs of cleanliness, especially in the bedroom? I live with a pig. No, you don't. You live with Yasik, who makes everything so beautifully like mr clean he's mr you're married to mr clean he recycles shirts and pants all the time does he smell oh he doesn't he's not a he's not a clean person body wise oh right remember all right he fucking we've talked about this before he shoves his dick in the shower he shoves his junk in the sink and yes he did that before i don't know if he does that again he's gonna be listening to this and like objecting. So I don't know if this is going to make it into the show, but yeah, like, you know,

he is, I, he, I don't know, maybe it's like Euro styles every other day, a shower. Okay. Right. I shower three times a day. I know you do. So you would like if, okay. So have you never asked him to shower before? Like you guys hit skins. Is that what you would like? No, no, that can happen. and that does happen but like i mean we're talking to shower sorry stop talking so fast do you ask him to shower before you guys bone i ask him to shower with me and we can bone while we're showering oh okay okay yeah okay so that's how you trick him yeah okay that's not tricking him all the time you all always want clean sex everybody's private parts have to be like totally Windexed. Oh. Oh. Okay. So then. I like, I like, yes, I like a Windexed dick.

Vim that fucking dick. Okay. Okay. Fair. So then this is, this is not a problemo for you then? No, I don't see any. I mean, I do think that there's a conversation that's worth having about whether or not V's boyfriend is going to escalate his, you know, issues into other areas of her life. But as she says right now, it's, I don't really love that he's like, eat this, eat that. But I do like that he encourages her to work out and goes with her. Like that is, you know, he wants to be with someone who is as healthy as he is. Yeah. That part, um, I don't love so much because I don't think especially because V's like you know I'm not this gym rat and I think of course like if someone can be healthier that's never a bad thing but I also like I don't like

when people have like a quota that you have to meet that seems I don't know and that can fuck with um more so than not women's like body image right like if if she doesn't meet that is that unattractive to him and that's fair I don't I don't love that so I think that's something that as you said, like we can kind of keep track of like what she what's going on right now wouldn't be my jam, but I don't think we're borderline controlling narcissistic personality disorder with this guy. No, I don't see any huge warning signs, although it's just something for V to keep in mind. Like she's very clear about he's not he doesn't have any like he doesn't have anything to say about her family, her friends, how she spends her time. He's he's just

like hey when you're over at my place can you be clean are you also the same way about like you can't lie on the bed with I don't like outside clothes on bed in bed did you write this letter what in the fuck you don't like outside clothes yeah even the term outside clothes is amazing to me like people know like that this guy understands the phrase outside clothes because I do have outside clothes and inside clothes yes do you sometimes sit on your couch with outside clothes how is that different than sitting on like your i'm not saying get into bed and like after you've gotten off like the ttc or like at a cab and like cozy on into your bed and take a nap but like do you take off your outside clothes when you come inside like as soon as you

whoa okay yeah yeah outside clothes are for outside and inside clothes i don't understand what you don't understand Okay. I didn't know. I didn't know. But I live with someone who goes outside and inside in the same clothes for days. Yes. Okay. But you're not so strict that that would be something that he would have to abide by. Okay. So I'm not, I've gotten better. Remember I've been with him for 20 years, so I've had to condition myself and maybe eventually this dude will have to condition himself, but he's starting early and sending his conditions. Yeah. Oh my gosh. Okay. So right now, no no harm no foul at this point it'll be a foul when like let's say they move in together

so it's her home too so what if she likes outside clothes inside and will wear the outside clothes inside all day and all night like that is her place as well right right now it kind of works i don't know that is the beauty of a relationship that is the shit that they'll have to hash out that may that may be the the turbulent waters in the on the horizon oh my god thank god cory's clean he's a clean person body wise he's a clean i would that would be hard but i definitely would be weirded out though if someone was like hey get yourself in the shower before we do anything like let's just like cut out any spontaneity go wash your private parts like that would be weird to me you have to shower every time what are you talking about you have to shower every time

they go and do anything like before they like have sex or anything well that seems oh you again you don't compute this okay well okay like let me break it down for you let's say in the before times you have a date with somebody um and it's on like a weeknight right and so both of you have been to work all day and not like you know there are some people who fucking take a shit at work it happens so like and then you meet for dinner and then are you gonna bone like i i can't like I can't think about that. But how about if you do, because it's fun and it's spontaneous. So sorry, do that. Do that scenario. I wouldn't know. Shush. Do that scenario. Okay. You have taken a dump at work. Yeah. Okay. No, I, you have, I have a hard time taking a dump. Even my own house. You have,

you have taken a dump at your own house. Okay. And then you go to meet Yassic, your new boyfriend, who has go for a dinner. Yeah. He wants to fucking go straight to making out and you go, no sir no I need I'll make out okay but I won't suck your dick and I won't let you but what does that have to do with your body you fucking eat my pussy okay yes fair okay fine great fine yeah but like if we're gonna make out uh sure if we're gonna fuck like you know you're gonna take yourself to a shower I know I'm gonna have that's why I always have wipes on me i didn't know this about you okay you carry your wet wipes just in case i carry wipes just in case for all situations including giving your puss a little wipe okay

I'm surprised you don't either I just don't think that I would have a white I don't have I do not have wipes with me you do not have wipes with me I would typically think that I'm fairly clean before I do anything but yeah like if I'm gonna take a fucking dump yeah I'm not like hey spread them let's fucking do this but uh I don't feel like I've in like I don't know anymore what the outside world does because I've been in a relationship for so long too right but I don't know I feel like I'm I would like to always be clean but if like the moment strikes I'm not gonna be like must take a bubble bath first yeah I'm not that adamant about the cleanliness okay because sex is supposed to be a little bit dirty making out is a bit dirty yeah i mean in the

moment like yes smear it all over me like you know our smash our smashing faces are smashing against each other and like kisses don't have to can be a little bit sloppy but like i just don't want to be thinking about whether or not there's a dingleberry okay all right let's move on okay so back to v right right we are the worst we always just talk about ourselves okay back to v okay so back to v v i don't think you have you need to worry about right now. But I do, like, as you said, you know, I do think that if it gets more serious and you move in together, these might be the obstacles that you have to confront. And then I also, I don't think there are any red flags right now, but if he starts like

fucking giving you, you know, parameters, terms and conditions with your workplace and with your friends then yes but right now that's cool seems chill but i do but i do appreciate uh that v has um is smart enough to be like oh what what is this like what let me like feel the borders of this relationship like is this right like i like that she's questioning it and continue to question it because things are new and you don't want to be like so lovestruck that all of a sudden you realize oh my god you are in a controlling relationship so eyes wide open um and take off your shoes when you go into his house great no out no no outdoor clothes indoors okay ready for the next one yes is this one long

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Sign up today at eqbank.ca slash business. Unfortunately for you, it is. Fuck! Just read quicker! Stop being so dramatic with everything, then. how much quicker i already talk fast okay well read faster okay next hi sasha a few months ago i decided to confess to my crush that i was deeply into her she was eating me a lot whoa oh sorry that's not what you wrote that's what i wanted to read it was eating me alive and i felt like

she had flirted me heavily in the past i play with her hair a lot and there's a lot of waist grabs and when I'm not around, she's told other workers how she finds my body so hot, specifically my ass. Damn. My coworker has even told me she's noticed how she's gotten jealous of my friendship with her, the other girl I work with. Even outsiders have picked up on things between us. She apparently looked shocked as fuck when a coworker told her we were texting. She's always keeping a watchful eye on my friendship with the other girl. I told her I liked her a few months ago. She told me I was such a rocket and that I was the hottest person to ever like her because usually people don't look at her because she's a bit bigger. Her words,

not mine. But she told me she was straight and she asked me if I ever felt like she was throwing signals at me. I lied and said I didn't remember at the moment, but I perfectly well knew there were a lot of signals because other coworkers even spotted them. She's even told me how she's had a friend that was a girl in the past go down on her and she said it was a hot experience we started off as friends first so she's known about guys and girls i fucked or dated and she's never acted jealous about the guys but when i've talked about other women she starts probing real hard she even begged to show me the pics this old fling sent me for days on end i kindly turned it down to respect the other girl's privacy why even ask this much if you're straight for real

For real. Anyway, I decided to take her word and leave it as it is. She said she was straight, so I left it at that. She promised she wouldn't affect our friendship. She literally pinky swore, as lame as that sounds. Afterwards, I occasionally would ask her how she was doing health-wise because her liver has been fucked. And over the holidays, I texted Merry Christmas.

She ignored it. But then on New Year's, she messaged me first. I was drunk and flirted with her heavily. I don't think she flirted back by a text, but she did talk to me about how she recycles her nudes because her body was nicer before. And so she sent me a sexy pic that I've never even asked for. It wasn't a nude, but it was her in a short ass kilt, knee high socks and a top exposing cleavage. This is so fucking like, why isn't this a book? This is what your dreams are made up right now. I know. Um, okay. So obviously, wait, wait. So let me go back. Let's let's read.

It wasn't a nude, but it was her short-ass kilt, knee-high socks, and top-exposing cleavage. Obviously, I loved it. But at that point, I was confused that she knows I like her, and I'm openly flirting, and she sends me that pic. I feel like she's teasing me. She also does this weird thing where she purposely dodges my Instagram stories for weeks, but then magically reappears from the dead and watches every single one within minutes. I'm probably looking too much into this, but fast forward to Valentine's, and the inner

Aries and me got a rush of adrenaline and decided to do something for the cheesy ass holiday that I normally hate. Her cat died months ago and she was sick for months. So I decided to buy her bar of fleur roses from Montreal, ship them to her house and some Bobette and Belle cupcakes. Unfortunately, the roses got delivered late. I had to tell her there was a package waiting for her. So I received an alert from FedEx saying that she ended up picking it up at 3.42 PM, 3.24 PM. What's weird is how she never even messaged to thank me. I wasn't expecting anything in return, but I was expecting at least a thanks. She always thanks me for things I bought her in the past.

I decided to message and be like, guess you haven't picked up the package? And she was like, I opened it last night. It's beautiful. Thank you. But she lied because the package was delivered at 324 and she had lurked my stories at that point too. So she was on her phone. I obviously sound psycho, but I'm kind of super upset.

I can't even downplay it. I teared up. my intention was to give her an excuse to feel at least a bit happier and my biggest goal is to leave people better than how I found them and we were friends before anything else so I want to at least cultivate that I even told her through text that I was doing this to make her happier but that I know where we stand so I don't want her feeling pressured on Valentine's Day when she received the other part of her gift the bouquet of chocolate covered strawberries she instantly said how it was so sweet and she thanked me one minute she's teasing me the next minute she acts like she

doesn't even want a friendship I know I'm going to get called into work very soon because she's already working so I can't really afford to drop her at this exact moment. The reason I'm writing is to find out what I should do about her specifically. Should I drop the friendship too and how should I go into my next relationship moving forward? Every time I'm nice and give someone my all, I feel taken advantage of. I'm naturally more of a giver. With this situation, I had to force myself to not go overboard with the gift since I knew we weren't anything. I try to be tamed, but it's not in my nature. Wow. That's a lot. I try to be tamed, but it's not in my nature. I feel emotionally drained though. Whenever I'm a cool bitch, I get who I want.

But when I'm nice, it just never works out. So does that mean I have to be a cool bitch in order to get who I want? Is that the answer? I'm ready to write off love for real. You can use my real names i don't even care okay well should we i put it there but let's not look okay and we'll call you m okay m okay well i'm confused this uh this isn't a friendship i kept on so she you kept on reading friendship yeah like i definitely don't think they're friends so let's pretend well let's i let's like actually focus in on that let's call it what it is they're not friends i think you're getting dicked around by your colleague um who is confused i think she likes your attention but when the attention feels real she uh gets scared because maybe she's not ready to accept

um what you're fucking you know giving her you know and i think i think what do you call m i don't think m has done anything wrong i think m saw an opening and like any normal human being was like, yes, I like this. I like you. Let me, let me show up for you. Let me like, let me make you feel good. Let's see what could be on the other side of this. But it only works if the other person is down too. And I don't fucking like mind games. I don't like mind games. I don't like fucking carrot dangling. And I feel like that's what this is. I agree. I think that, um, I think that the term that we use or have been using or whatever is fuck boy. But I think that fuck boys can be girls too. Of course they can. Yeah. And I think Em is getting fuckboyed.

Yeah, I agree. So in this situation, I think we both agree like Em, I don't think you can give this person any more energy. Yeah. And I think it's starting to get a little bit, and I get why Em did all the things because she wanted to be nice and she wanted to see if she would reciprocate those feelings. But I think it's pretty evident that she doesn't like you the way that you like her um I think she likes you because you make her feel good but I don't think she is yeah like I don't think there's anything that's going to come out of this so I hope you know that I hope you hear that and you can just like keep it kosher yeah from here on out with her but moving but that sucks it does suck you know and and the thing is

I think that like, you know, it sucks. Let's call it 99% the other person sucks. But the 1% is that it's not that you don't like have to stop being nice. It's that we can be nice judiciously. Right? Like I want you to be untamed, so to speak. I know you do. Right? I want Em to be untamed. I want her to send all the flowers, all the chocolates to the people she, but to people who deserve it. Yeah. Right. And I think that's the difference. So Em, I don't want you to give up on love and write it off as you said, but you know, and you can go whole hog, like be as extra and dramatic and like romantic as you want. I don't want that you to lose that. That would make me very sad. Yeah, I agree. But I do think that there is, um, there is how we can work on

self-improvement in these cases is to be more judicious about who is the recipient of this special, overwhelming, untamed you. Yeah. Yeah, I agree. So you can value yourself as much as others. I think that's what this is about. So for your gestures, these over the top, amazingly spectacular Valentine's day gestures, you value them because you're giving back. I want you to, and I want you to keep that, but apply the same value to you, who Em is. Yeah. And I'd also want Em to ask herself if this is a pattern that she does, like, that she does like she gives all of herself to people who are undeserving of that or are not available because you know that's why she's like oh like do i always have to be like a fucking

bitch to get people but like it's i'd be curious to know i don't know the answer i'm not assuming but i'd be curious to know if m um could just uh take a think back and does she give all of herself to people who are unavailable yeah that's just that's just something to think about that's really good note. Really good note. Think about that M. And in the meantime, while you're saving your energy, think about you. Oh, I thought you were going to say write a book. And that too. That too. That would be really hot. Okay. Final question. Hey, Sash and Lainey, I'm in my early 30s, single, and have never been in a long-term relationship. Meet M. Meet M. Okay. By that, I mean the longest I've ever been with a guy is about six months, and that's a real stretch when

I was 18. I've had several months-long situationships over the years, but I'm not very good at casual dating. I've had a handful of one-night stands in my whole life, which isn't many when you've been single for as long as I have and enjoy sex. Almost every time I go on dating apps, I immediately get depressed and delete them, probably because I know those dates won't go anywhere. I know we all have that one friend that got engaged after meeting someone on Bumble, but that always seems like such a fluke. I just find dating apps to be really hard work and the dates like an endless round of job interviews that never really go anywhere. The younger women I know always seem to be dating and have new guys on the scene even in lockdown and I just don't know how

they do it. I envy them. I'm not bad looking I think and I don't think I'm boring but I have also struggled with mental health and body image since I was a teenager and I'm getting help with this so that doesn't help. Plus sometimes when I do start dating someone I actually like I get so anxious, I do end up acting kind of crazy, which makes me worry I'm so fucked up no one would ever want to be with me long term anyway. My sister, though, would say this is because I have only ever dated manipulative fuckboys. Yes, facts. I've only lived in my current city for a couple of years and it's a long way from home, so I don't have the deep roots or connections that mean I'll meet people anywhere but work where everyone is out of bounds anyway. My friends outside of

work all settled down long ago and I'm the token single one. Anyway, all of this to say that with With lockdown and my dislike of dating apps, I haven't so much as touched a guy all year and I'm generally starting to worry I'll die alone and never have sex again. But dating is just so stressful. I do know I'm probably my own worst enemy in this situation, but even knowing that doesn't help much, what do I do? X, X. All right, X.

Dating is hard. Can we just put that out there? It is hard. I was going to say, we can't sugarcoat this because dating is hard and during a pandemic, it seems almost impossible um but I will say like I know that she's like oh dating apps they're just like one-offs but I I swear I know so many people who have met their partners through dating apps and you have to wade through so much horseshit I'm not gonna pretend like that's not a thing so much horseshit but if you if you try long enough it seems like you can meet your match

having said that i was talking to a friend who's single and uh they'd been they tried the dating apps and that they they didn't like them but i was like why don't people and this is probably not novel people are probably like sasha people do this all the time but why don't you just like follow people that are in your city on instagram that you think are interesting that are interested in the same thing and slide into their dms that way like why is that not something that people use more often like the dating apps are great but like how about if you like there's like a cool artist or something in the city or like like start following pages or groups of people then find the fucking just we have nothing to do but stalk yeah look through them find someone that

you think is attractive and cool study them for a bit and then slide into their fucking dms like why isn't that a thing it's like meeting a stranger at a bar isn't it sort of same thing not really, but like, I just, I feel like there's another avenue to meet people like outside of a dating app is like, Instagram is basically a fucking dating app too. So use that if you have not yet. I think I agree. And I think that there are all kinds of like, there's dating apps, there's sliding into someone's DMS, there's all kinds of things. I don't think that is the issue though. I think with X, the issue is self-confidence and you know, how much mental energy she wants to put into this and that's fair. But I also think that, I also think that it's

a matter of perspective too. Tell me more. What do you mean? I think that number one, the reason why I, my first comment is dating is hard is because I wanted to establish for X that dating is hard for everyone. Like X seems to, you know, X laid out all the quote in her mind cons about herself. She was like, I think I'm okay looking. So that wasn't, you know, exactly a mega vote in terms of self-confidence for how, how they look. And then talked about mental health and talked about, so it was like, it was almost as if X was saying like, I already come with this baggage and dating is hard for me for all these reasons. But I'm saying what I want X to realize is that even for people who don't have all the things, the attributes that

you listed about yourself, X, that you may perceive as negative, I don't, but that you may perceive as negative, other people who don't have those attributes are having a hard time dating. Of course. Yeah, of course. Period. But the reason why I'm hoping that X internalizes this is because when you realize something is not just hard for you, that it's hard across the bored, then I think that you can maybe start getting out of your head that it's just such a hurdle, right? Or that you're the only one. That's right.

Everybody is going through it. And like, pandemic or not, let's, we have friends who are single, who are like, before the pandemic, it was like, it's shit out there. I hate everyone. And yeah, and this is friends who run the gamut of young, old, cool, nerdy, whatever. everybody has a hard time so I think that it's about X you figuring like you realizing that bottom line dating

is hard it's hard for everyone and if it's hard for everyone then it means that like it's not like people like you have to try harder and some people don't have to try at all everybody has to try that's what I'm getting at so that's where my point where I'm building to everybody

has to try like people who you might think don't have problems dating At least Theron has problems dating. Yes, exactly. So everybody has to try. Everybody has to put themselves out there. So unfortunately, I don't think I can sugarcoat it for X.

Like putting yourself out there means putting yourself out there. And it takes effort and it takes disappointment sometimes too. And a lot of the time it's actually quite disappointing. And I think that's something that I wanted to just highlight about how you were like, oh, like I'm crazy. I think I'm crazy. but then my but but then your sister alerted you to the fact that you kind of probably had a really shitty dating past so that's something to kind of look into as well like have these types of

relationships told you that you are less than um i know i'm glad that you're working on this with a therapist that's what you know she's continually working with that that's great but that's also something that you can pivot on too is like changing your type right changing your type is really important I think people always think that they have this archetype of like who their who their person is and those are sometimes the ones that do the most damage like when I think about my type like thank god Corey was not my type because all my type before like fucking screwed me over so it's also about changing your mind frame going back into the dating world and trying again is like don't go for the same fucking people that you always go for like go for someone different

and see how that goes. Yeah. So I wouldn't give up on the dating apps just yet and the other methods. But what I would do is like understand that everyone on the dating app is frustrated with the dating app, not just you. And I wonder if that might change your attitude. Not attitude, I don't want to say that, but your perspective on it. And I would say get the dating apps back on your phone. You know, if you do really want to find someone, if you do really want to get out there and meet people like that's kind of the only option right now you can't stroll into a restaurant or a bar and like fingers crossed luck out like you kind of need to use that um as your lifeline a bit right now in order to see what's out there and at the and the very least have some

sex maybe it won't be a relationship but you know you miss sex perhaps yeah if you have a covid test and know the person and yes well all of that okay fine but i just gotta say that yeah i don't know Um, but yeah, good luck. It's not going to always be easy or fun. And, um, that's just the reality of it. And you're not, and as Lainey has drilled home, you are not alone in this disappointment and thinking that you'll never fuck or find someone again. You will, it's just going to take some fucking time. Good luck. Um, and remember it's hard out there for everybody, I think. Yeah. Yeah. Um, keep your questions coming to me at Sasha and Lainey gossip.com. Before we go, though, I do have to ask you something.

Is there, I haven't seen it. Is there a product on the market that is specifically a pussy wipe? Oh, my God. You don't know? No, I only buy wipes that are general wipes. Like baby wipes. No, you put, oh, okay. You think I was using Lysol wipes on my fucking crotch?

Well, I don't know. No, but like. No, no, no, like baby wipes or whatever. But I would like, I wonder if there are. Like labeled, like this wipe is for specifically your pups. There were muff wipes or something. I remember, I remember randomly getting like a whole bunch of swag of these muff wipes or something like many, many years ago.

That's good. Those definitely have to exist. People are going to start yelling at us about flora though. Like you shouldn't wipe because you're disturbing your flora. But it's not like I'm doing it once an hour. It's just, you know, once in a while I like to freshen up. um and then there's also those remember when you told me that i was giving my vagina a spa day those are really good to have too those like you know those oils that i wrote about those

bush bomb oils those are like all natural fucking slap some shit on that but in terms of like a wipe there are definitely there's definitely vagina wipes on the market do you need me to do research for that no i because i was wondering if i should go into business as a muff wiper seller. I would, I would buy your muff wipe if that's what you're saying. I totally would to support you. Yes. Um, but why don't you listen? I, all I remember is one brand that does muff wipes. What would you call them? Maybe there's an open market for muff wipe. Well, you know what you want in a muff wipe, right? Yeah, I do. Tell me. I don't want to give it away. Okay. Yeah. Like, I mean, if it's a great idea, I don't want someone to steal my muff wipe idea.

Yeah. Don't you think it would be nice for like a spray though? Like a sanitizing spray? Or do you like to get in there? I like the contact. You like getting in there? Okay. Like I like to know that like I can visualize that like things are being removed. And I'd be curious to know, please tell us, people write in, like would people be all about that? Yeah. I would want to know. Yeah. Could you use some, I mean, Muff Wife's is the brand, so I don't want to copy them. But. Would you use a vagina cleanser? Right?

No. A vagina cleansing wipe. Specifically a wipe. Yes, a wipe. Yes. Yeah. I think it would be nice in like a sponge form. Right?

Like a makeup sponge? Yeah. Like something that just felt like a little. This is a business idea we need to work out. Okay. Okay. Well, anyway, thanks for listening, everybody. As I was saying, keep your questions coming to me at Sasha at LadyGossip.com.

And subscribe to us wherever you get your podcasts. Don't forget to leave comments and reviews. We will be back soon. Bye. Bye. We'll be right back.