What's Your Drama - Rihanna, Drake, and How to Get F---ed

Episode Date: January 23, 2020

Does Jacek deserve a mic? That's the question we kick things off today on the podcast. Then we get into your questions: do you collaborate with another influencer who might have ulterior motives, do you part ways with a friend with whom you've grown apart, and when moving slowly is too slow for you. Please keep your advice questions coming my way at [e-mail]. We also love hearing from you to be sure to send us feedback on twitter at @sasha_tong and @laineygossip and Instagram at @lostandfoundapothecary and @laineygossip. And of course subscribe wherever you get your podcasts, and make sure to leave feedback and comments because it helps others find our show! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

By collaborating with this person. Yeah, who clearly wants to, like, collaborate in your fucking pussy. Like, he's not wanting, it's not strictly business. It's not, it's strictly business for her. It's not strictly business for him. Do you keep hearing podcast ads like this one, for example, but always wonder how you actually get involved with them for your own brand or organization? Well, it's easier than you think.

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One from a particular person who loves our podcast very much and is like an actual, just like a friend. And she would really like Jacek to have a mic. Fuck no. Why? Because she likes him. And people, there are some people outside of this house that like to hear what he has to say.

But nobody in this house needs to hear what he has to say. Right. Do you? Well, I don't mind Jacek. I find, like, sometimes he's fucking a little bit oversteps his right. But for the most part, he has shit to say. He has too much to say. Okay, so you're saying no.

He's long-winded. You're a boss lady, so you're saying no. He's long-winded. I know he's long-winded, but he could edit this out. I'm not boss lady. I'm just saying, like, you know, I don't know. Who are these? She's terrified.

Excuse me. Again, nobody invited you. She's there. Okay, so there's the answer. No one invited you. No one invited you. Well, who are these people? There's been people who've commented on our podcast on iTunes that have said that.

Like, oh, more Yassic. Aren't we supposed to, like, take people's feedback and do something with it? He's fine. I mean, the only way… I don't think he deserves a mic. He can just speak louder. Great. Just sit there.

Sit there in the corner, quiet. Okay. um okay i what i really want to talk about is not yassic okay please uh let's talk about rihanna all single after three years she was dating that hot billionaire yes i thought he might make it i thought he was also a lifer a potential lifer but it's over well as i said on the site it's not like she's not busy i mean look at the fucking shit she's doing and people are still waiting for the album, which she's like, I know you're waiting for the album, but she is not hurting in that respect, but she is a bit unlucky in love.

Oh, I don't want to, you know, there's that one thing, but yes, I don't feel like she's unlucky in like, she hasn't been unlucky with other people. Drake didn't work out. Like the Drake thing was such an embarrassing, not for her, but it was like such an embarrassing thing to unravel in front of everybody. Why does she have to wear that? She's not having to wear it, but it just is what it is. Like, she was unlucky that everyone was gunning for that.

And then he turned out to, like, really nerd hurt that one. That's so weird to me that people ship that still. Well, as you said on your site, too, you think it's very similar to, like, the Jen and Brad situation. Right. They're, like, two of the most successful people, and they're both beautiful. You would hope that they could fucking… Do you… But when it comes down to it…

Yes. I need people to really think about this. Is Drake really cool enough for Rihanna? No. Okay. So we're, like, we're done, right? But I'm still curious. Like, I'd like to see what, like, that video that came out of them at the same club.

Like, I was like, oh, what would be, like, what are they talking? I'm curious more of, like, what they talk about. But then we go to A$AP Rocky, who I think is just the most beautiful. Oh, God, he's so beautiful. Do you remember when he was dating, was it Chanel Amman? Oh, yes. And the two of them together, they were babies at the time. Like they were very, very young, probably, I don't know, 20 years old.

So they were perfectly our age to talk about. But I would look at pictures of them and I would be, I'd be like, how did two beautiful people find each other and become beautiful together? I, that's the one that I would be like, she's, I don't, she's with somebody else now. But anyway, but he's so hot. He's beautiful. It's crazy. I would love to look like him.

But he says he's a sex addict. Yes. Which, you do you, but I just don't think that Rihanna would be down with a dude who wanted to orgy all the time. Yeah. Do you? Or do you think she's an orgy kind of girl? I don't think she's an orgy kind of girl.

I think she's someone who likes to fuck a lot. I mean, that's what she's told me in all of her lyrics. Yeah. So for that, if he just wanted to fuck a lot, I know that's not exactly what the definition of… Well, I actually don't even know what the definition of a sex addict is. Like if you're a sex addict in a relationship, does that mean you're always fucking or you're just stepping out because you just need to fuck everything?

Well, when he talked about being a sex addict a few months ago, he was referring to orgies and multiple partners. Yeah. And I, which fine, maybe she's into that too, but I also think that she has to be really protective of her privacy. Yes. Right? Yeah.

Like, he can do an orgy with some randoms. That's a bit too heat score for her. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. Unless it's an orgy where she's the only girl and then there's just dudes all around. Sure. But more importantly, could you be with someone like A$AP Rocky?

Yasik, out of the picture, could you, are you, I don't know if it's necessarily like a confidence thing, like if you're confident enough in yourself to like let your man be a sex addict, but would you be okay with a sex addict? Me? Yes, you. Me, me, this person? Yes, you, this person. No.

No, I'm petty and jealous. Yeah. I would be, even if I was participating, I would be comparing, like, body parts. Yeah. Yeah, okay. Right? Yes. Yeah.

I am, I am not… And not even body parts, like face. You know, I would be… Well, it would be horrible to watch someone and be like, oh, my partner is very much liking the sex of another person. I'm not that big. Yeah. Like, I'm not, I'm not a big enough person for that.

Are you? Yeah. No. It's not that I'm, like, petty. I just, I'm, like, I am, I guess, I don't know. I wouldn't ever say I was petty or jealous. I just want, I just don't want to watch my partner fuck other people. Guess who would be here?

Duanna. Yes. Ever the contrary. And she would be like, oh, I love free-flowing this and that. Well, yeah, yeah. Whenever you want to talk to Duanna about, like, something that's, like, yeah, like, maybe conflicting in a moral way, she'll flip it and just be like, pretend like she's fucking. This isn't amoral.

I mean, people who are consenting sex addicts and orgiers are great, like, happiness for you. Yeah. But. You know what I mean. I just, as I said, I'm not that big of a person. No. Nor am I.

I'm not that evolved. Nor am I. Doanna is. As we've established. She thinks she is. Okay. Okay. There's our requisite.

Again, Doanna, why do you always make, do I make your podcast this much? No, I just like taking a shot at her every time we do a podcast. Okay, ready with everybody else's drama for us to weigh in on? Bring it. Okay. Dear Sasha and Lainey, I'm not sure this is drama yet. So to avoid any potential drama, I need your advice. I'm very active on Instagram.

I have a few thousand followers. I feel very lucky to have the reach I do and want to continue growing my platform. My eyes literally rolled in the back of my head. Okay, go on. I'm about to bring them back. Part of being a public profile is connecting with the community, so I've developed friendly friendships over the internet. I always keep it professional, but lately there's been another influencer who's been

sliding into my DMs that has become quite flirty. I want to be clear, I don't engage in that way, but I do respond back. For example, the other day he wrote me and said, hope you're well, I miss you. Miss me? We haven't even met yet. He does live in the same city, and we've talked before about meeting up to talk about potential collaborations, but now I don't know what to do. But the real reason I'm writing is because I have a boyfriend.

We've been together for two years and I love him very much. My question for the two of you is, do I have to tell him about these DMs even though they mean nothing to me? I'm not going to cheat on him for this guy, but as I said, I do want to, I do want to grow my following and want to keep this relationship with this influencer strictly on a business level. What should I do? Tell my boyfriend about what I think is flirting or do I just treat it like a non-issue because

that's how I feel about the situation. My boyfriend is definitely jealous, so I'm not sure it's worth it to stir the pot. Please keep me anonymous. Okay. slash your fave social media my wheelhouse I know everything about Instagram followers and I know shit about this world obviously um but I do know about what's you know kind of sketchy and what's not sketchy and this seems a little bit sketchy only because um and it's not that our our writer is doing anything wrong I feel like everything she has outlined here is quite above

bored. But I don't know, I don't know if your Instagram profile is worth blowing, potentially blowing up your relationship, A, or B, making your boyfriend jealous. Because of course, instinctually he would be like, why is this person DMing you about missing you? And then like obviously he's getting a different angle from the relationship that you two have. Do you know what I mean? Like I just don't know if it would be worth it to make a couple of hundred dollars and get like another hundred followers. By collaborating with this person. Yeah.

Who clearly wants to like collaborate in your fucking pussy. Like he's not wanting, it's not strictly business. It's not, it's strictly business for her. It's not strictly business for him. Sure. But it requires buy-in from her. Yeah. And if she's not going to buy in, why can't she still benefit from the influencer professional relationship?

Because I just think that gets murky. I know what you're saying. She is entitled to like keep it on the up and up and like strictly have it business like she wants it to. But like doesn't it just get really murky when someone that you're sitting across from you wants more than that? I don't know. I would back away from that. Like, I feel like if this chick has enough of a following, is this influencer, has this platform, does she have to work with this specific influencer?

Can't she just find someone else that is less confusing? I think you're confused because I think that there's some information gaps that are missing. Like, I don't see why at some point she can't drop it in there that she has a boyfriend. You know? Right. Typically, influencers on social media post photos once in a while of their boyfriends, if they have boyfriends. Some do, some don't.

Some don't like to flex that because it ruins their brand. Well, and I think that's what you have to decide what your brand is. Like, if your brand is to play it off as single, then that already should be a problem for the boyfriend. Right. So like that already is a sticky, thorny situation. Right. Which we have to unpack before we even unpack this other co-influencer sliding into her DMs.

Right. So these are all things. Now, if that is not part of her brand, and I'm going to assume it's not because she's talking about having a boyfriend for two years, she's obviously committed to this person, she doesn't want to lose this relationship, she doesn't say that her brand is to give the illusion of being single, then fuck. Yeah, but doesn't this guy just have, doesn't this guy, and this is not to say I'm not defending this guy, but couldn't he, this influencer, couldn't he have just looked

at her feed and been like, oh, she has a boyfriend. Oh, she posts about her boyfriend. She must not post about her boyfriend that much. Right. For him to not have a clue. Yeah. So what I'm saying is before you even have to worry about the boyfriend, like why can't you just either tell him straight up or whatever?

Right. Oh, hey, I'm good. Yeah. in the DM area, be like, had a great weekend. My boyfriend and I went to, I don't know. Drop it like that. Drop it like that at first. I just don't see why it has to get that complicated.

Sure, he's flirting with you, but as soon as you drop the boyfriend word, if he doesn't stop, then, and he's making you uncomfortable, then we have a problem. But right now, I don't know. Have you told him you have a boyfriend? Yeah, we don't know. Yeah, so that's my first information gap. The Miss You is, I don't know, the Miss You alone would eek me out enough that I'd be like, oh, I don't, I just, I would find my business somewhere else.

Yeah, but that's you. Yeah, well, this is… You're not an influencer. Influencers are the new celebrities. Okay. Let's be, okay, and I'm not knocking her fucking hustle, but it's not like she has 5,000 million fucking followers. She has a few thousand, right?

So… And she wants more. And she wants more. Listen, influencers are the new celebrities. Yep. And if we're going by how celebrities operate, you're always going to be in a social situation where you're a little bit flirty with people, period. That is the business.

That's the industry. And I'm not… Listen, we've talked about this before on the podcast and off the podcast. I think flirting, even when you're in a relationship, if it's harmless, is good times. Yeah. It's social lubrication. Totally. Yes.

I love that. And by the way, you can flirt with people you're sexually attracted to or you can flirt with everybody. So I flirt with girls. I think I've said before. Yes. I flirt with girls as well as guys. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. So again, and then that's next level if you are a celebrity slash influencer. That is the world. So you're saying like either put it out, well, put it out there, let him know in whatever way you want to, that you have a boyfriend and then see if he wants to continue this work relationship. Yeah.

I have a feeling that when you do, he will not want to work with you anymore because he sounds like, that's what I, that's, I'm just gauging from very few details here, that's what's going to happen. Yeah. And if that's the case, that's why I'd be like, Casey, yeah. Like, that's why I'm like, don't waste your time with someone like that. But I don't know. But given that it doesn't sound like she's done that yet, I would drop that first.

but and you can still leave open the door to collaboration you should be able to collaborate with somebody and have a boyfriend oh my god of course i guess my thing is like i feel like some people are so despo these days to make these collaborations to make a name for themselves to do all these things so they feel like it's going to be the last opportunity they'll ever have i'm just that's why i'm like oh if this guy's not that big of a deal if it's not like if you can find another collaboration why not just fucking u-turn out of this whole situation and find something that's like a little more clean, a little more like a, like a little more clean in the situation.

Yeah, I'm not. What's worth, I guess I'm just like, what's at work? I'm not to that extreme yet with her. Okay, fine. Right? Like if she can be honest and he is like, okay, cool, let's collaborate still, but not in like with my dick in your pussy, then, then great. Then everybody wins.

Okay. Um, yeah, influencing is a hustle and you, to be successful at it, number one, you have to be honest. So that's where my question is about, like, are you hiding your boyfriend or whatnot? But also, number two, it doesn't mean that you have to be a nun. Okay. Does she have to tell her boyfriend that this guy has DM'd her this way? Right. I think this is where, right, we totally skipped why she's concerned about this. I think that she needs to make it clear to other dude first, or maybe do it concurrently. But yeah,

Just be like, just, I wouldn't, see, does she have to tell him? No, I think part of the world of being an influencer is that people are going to be attracted to you. People are going to slide in her DMs all the time being like, you're cute, hi. Yeah, but she's not wanting to collaborate with all those people that are sliding into her DMs. She's specifically contemplating whether she wants to collaborate with a person who's already been quite flirtatious.

When the collaboration is happening, that's when you tell the guy, boyfriend? Why do you have to, like, I don't understand why, like, you have to preemptively get them all riled up for something that is a probable but not, like, exact. So when it does happen, let's say she says, okay, I have a boyfriend. He's like, cool, cool, cool. No worries. Let's get on this project. Yeah.

Then you think she should tell her boyfriend? Because I would say don't bother saying anything. if you've wrapped that shit up and you've dealt with it and everyone can move forward in a platonic way then why the fuck are you gonna tell your boyfriend it doesn't have to come with warning bells you could just be like hey this great thing is happening collaborating with this guy at first i thought he was like into me um but he's not like you know i told him i had a boyfriend and now we're just gonna do this thing it's gonna be great i would not whatever i would totally absolutely mute those facts i would there would be no point because then okay so that's what

you would do? I'm not married to this idea. Okay. I'd just be like, whatever. Okay. I'm not married to it, but my whole thing is… none of this is bothering me. No, clearly. Like, I think it's… I don't think it's as big of a deal. It's as big of a deal as, like, she is making it out to be if she's upfront about what her brand is. Okay. And again, in the bigger picture of influencers and how to become a successful influencer, I know this word has lost all meaning because it's become a commodified, but, like, authenticity is key. So if somehow you're selling yourself as a single person or at least nudging people to think you're single and your boyfriend is a, I don't know, yeah, like…

Well, that's going to catch up with you. It'll catch up with you. Yeah. So just be consistent about what you're out there presenting. Okay. Good luck and keep us posted. Please. Although someone yelled at us on email this week about…

I was just going to say… I wasn't going to say that. But someone's like, why do you ask people to keep you posted when no one keeps you posted? Well, fuck, we're still trying to get people to keep us posted. Yeah. What do you want us to say? Like, see you later. Hope that helps.

Don't, don't, don't keep, don't get in touch with us again. Anyway, keep us posted. I love that you saw that email too. Yeah. Fucking keep us posted. Okay. Next. That's the clip.

I love that. That was such a funny email. And she was also like, great job. Love your podcast. What the fuck are you talking about? It was this aggressive fucking email. It was like, I hate what you do here. I hate what you do here.

But keep it up. Do we get updates? There have been some fucking updates. Just haven't shared all of them or any of them yet. If they're any share worthy. Yeah, yeah. If they're share worthy. while every other channel is fighting for your customers attention podcasts are where they've

already given it no one accidentally listens to a podcast for 45 minutes they choose to be here they trust the voice in their ears and when that voice talks about your brand it doesn't sound like advertising it sounds like a recommendation from a friend acast gives you that trust at scale digital precision, post-read authenticity, and performance data that proves it worked. Don't fight for attention. Buy it with Acast. Learn more by visiting acast.com slash advertise. Okay, next, Sasha Laney, I'm experiencing what feels like my first friend breakup and right before I have to decide on my bridal party for my wedding this year. I'm 26 and I've been friends with Elle since meeting and living with her in university five years ago.

We were roommates along with another university friend and my childhood friend. We all became what felt like family after living together for three years. Elle and I went through all the highs and lows together. We've always had different values when it comes to how we imagine our lives. That's okay. On the one hand, I'm very career-oriented, but still a romantic. She's definitely not career-oriented, but a huge romantic, sometimes to a fault. She wants a family and prioritizes her boyfriend over everything.

Half her university life was spent with him on Skype, causing her to get poor grades. But we'd known this since the beginning of our relationship. It's only lately that I'm more annoyed at her obsession with making a family and getting married because it seems like it's all she talks about. We won't see each other for months and then all she really talks about is how disappointed she is that her boyfriend hasn't proposed, even though he's living with her and her parents and has no job, so he's clearly not ready. Sorry, I just started.

Go on. Sorry. I'm sorry. wow okay okay we told her he's not ready because we know him almost just as well as her anyway to make matters worse she's actually doing her undergraduate degree again the exact same one because she did so poorly the first time so here we are while the rest of our friend group is focusing on career development and other aspects of adulting she's still in the same headspace as we were five years ago i love school so much and i get her decision to go back but we hardly have

much in common anymore and it shows whenever we get together. Every time we invite her out, she's engaged for maybe an hour and then zones out. I mean,

literally zones out. Sorry, I love this friend so far. I'm obsessed with this letter. Yes. I'm obsessed. Me too.

Sorry. I want it to continue forever. Fuck, I'm so sober and I feel like I'm high. Like, totally. Last time we went to a bar,

she ordered one drink and then rested her head on the counter for the rest of the night almost pouting. It was awful. Not the first time, though. We also went on a road trip a year or two ago, and she was so difficult to be around.

She makes everyone feel like they have to accommodate her, and she doesn't make an effort to go with the flow. Now, the rest of us work downtown, so we meet for dinner and drinks often, but Elle always comes up with some excuse for why she can't meet us. We met her new university friends a little while ago for her boyfriend's birthday, and oh my God, they were young and immature. We tried, but did not connect with them. In fact, just made us feel a little less connected with Elle because we realized just how different

our lives really are now. So all this to say, what do I do? Should I speak to her and explain how I'm feeling? Especially because we've always talked about her being in my bridal party. But truthfully, I don't feel the same way anymore. The rest of the friend group is good with just distancing themselves and letting it phase out. But I'm in a different position because I know if I don't include her in my bridal party, then it might hurt her feelings. I'm also not sure if she should at least come for the bachelorette party. Please help. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you veronica not my real name okay veronica i like l whoever l is i am not mad at it um okay so veronica um is finding that she's growing distance distant from her friend l she is um

not career orientated she has immature friends and sometimes takes naps at the bar what are your initial thoughts on this i also find l really entertaining like i i guess it's not fair because we're not friends with her but nothing that she's outlined is that awful um okay so l is desperate to get married and complains about not being proposed to yet yeah because her boyfriend lives with her and her parents and doesn't have a job yes and l is going back to school and hangs out with young friends. Yes. And the friends are really immature.

Great. Okay. Listen, I agree with Sasha. I find, I'm sorry, Veronica, like from the outside, and again, maybe you're not being fair, but from the outside, L would be entertainment for me. Which is also not a good thing to do to a friend. Like your friend's not a monkey. No, no, no.

Your friend can't like jump up and down and entertain you. No, no. Right? So that is not a kind thing to say. But I also, listen, you and I have crazy bat shit friends. Not this crazy bat shit. I wish I had someone like Elle. Oh, I think we know a couple of people who are like really, really bonkers.

Okay, sure, sure. Yes. Like who? Oh, fuck. She's bananas. Okay. Small dope. But she's way more intense than Elle.

Exactly. And we're friends with her. I'm friends with her. I'm never going to cut her off. But like, you know, she is loud and obnoxious in the bar. She is constantly in love trouble. Yes. And, but it's also really funny in how crazy she is.

And really wacky. She is very cool too. Really wacky, but also. She doesn't listen to this podcast, does she? I don't know, but whatever. And so I, your friends aren't always going to be like you. What I'm hearing right now is that you all have hit a groove and you're all in the same space and lane and that's wonderful if, and you all want that, like you all want what

you all individually want, but sometimes it's great to have somebody in your friend group who shakes things up, who brings something new and fresh to the vibe. I agree. I agree. Um, and I also, I just really want to meet Elle. the thing is veronica hasn't said anything bad about l like l doesn't seem like a mean person a shitty friend a backstabbing liar she's not a thief no so like these are like you know she's she what you've told me like how i like absorb all this information is that she loves love oh

great l like that's so lovely she's just like a hopeless romantic and wants to get married so does every fucking chick this age wants to get hooked you know wants to get married after they've been with someone for a long time that doesn't bother me like she's a little directionless but yeah okay I mean she's her early 20s let her be like I these are I just feel and I get it I agree with what you said Lainey like Veronica's found her groove with her gal pals and they're all like focused on like moving on up which is great but not everyone functions that way and maybe Elle's a little bit like tardy to the party but she still seems like a good person yeah um and And I guess that's what it is.

Veronica seems to be like kind of snobby right now. Like a little bit like I am above Elle. But why? You have your shit together. Great. But like if Elle's not fun, I know that she took a couple of catnaps. Fine. But like if Elle's like a good person and she has your back, then I don't think there's

any real reason to cut her off. And especially, I don't know. I mean, Veronica's a little bit stumped here about what to do because she wants to know if she should invite Elle to be a bridesmaid. I don't think she necessarily needs to be a bridesmaid, but I definitely think you should invite her to the bridal party. Yeah. That's where I will go with that.

Invite her to the bachelorette. Bachelorette. Yeah. Definitely invite her to the wedding. It doesn't have to be in the… She doesn't have to be in the bridal party. Like, you know, it's your wedding. Totally.

You can have whoever you want in your bridal party. I will… You know, it's not like you made a blood oath. No. No. no yes um so stand by you there but definitely the bachelor like the bachelor party for sure because like that's just that's just thrown out to all your homies yes and you're gonna have a fun weekend or wherever it is that you go yeah um yeah don't cut her off yeah or listen veronica

keep us posted no but really tell us if we've missed something bigger here like what you've written down to us in this email isn't so shock and awe that I'm like, oh, fuck, ditch the bitch. She sounds crazy. Like, she just sounds like a really, like, quirky friend. I love that. Yeah. I really do.

Me too. So, I don't know. No sympathy here. Sorry. Or you can pass her over to us. Yes. I'll fucking happily take Elle. Okay.

Next and finally. Hi, Sasha Laney. I need your advice. I started dating this guy. let's call him James. Thank you everybody for giving fake names. Yes, they've caught on. We've been on quite a few dates already and our chemistry is off the charts. We have a great conversation. He's funny. And on our last date, he asked me to go steady. That's embarrassing to write. Everybody's a comedian today. That's embarrassing to write, but I promise you it

was so adorable when he asked. So I guess I have a boyfriend now. I didn't think I'd ever find a good one after my ex, but James feels like he could be the guy I've been looking for. So here's the problem. We haven't had actual sex. But it's not for lack of trying. I want to, but all he ever wants to do is everything but that. Okay. How many times? They've been on quite a few dates. Okay. Great conversation. He asked her to go steady. They're dating. They're dating and they've done everything. So I'm guessing like rub, suck, whatever. Yes. Except penetration. Yeah. Third base. Amazing. Our relationship is so new, so I don't want to put pressure on him, but is it normal for a guy to want to take it this slow?

So I guess my question is, how do I get him to fuck me? Thank you for reading this, and I hope you can help me. T. Okay. So what? What are we thinking? So James is a great guy. Like, on paper, no warning signs, so great.

Also in human form, a great guy. Yes. Right? Well, I mean, I don't know. I haven't met him. Well, no, but that's what she said. Yeah. Okay.

All things are checked off. So it's fresh. Yes. And it's not like they haven't made out. No, they've done everything but. Okay. And she wants some fucking D inside of her. Yes.

Yeah. Got it. Okay. So I guess the thing that I want to focus on, on the two words here that our writer has said is that, what did she say? A few dates? A few dates. Quite a few.

Sorry. Quite a few dates. Quite a few dates to me, what would that be? Like if we're just kind of estimating 10? Sure. I mean, do you have to stick it in like at 10 dates and under? No. I kind of, I'm finding this, you said it was a fresh relationship and I find this refreshing

that the guy is taking it a little bit slow. Look, it's not like he doesn't want to fucking touch you or look at you naked. He's wanting to do all the things. Yeah. He's just waiting before you guys do the deed. For me, I think that is nice. Yeah. That's where I'm at.

I think the phrase that stuck out for me is her question, is it normal for a guy to want to take it this slow? And I think we have to reframe what's normal. Yeah. I don't know that there should be any normal. Everybody should have their own sexual speed. Yeah. And sexual normal that is normal for them, even though it might not be normal for you

or me or whoever. Yeah. So I guess this is his normal. I don't want to, I don't want to buy into the standardization of normal sexual behavior for men to be, like, the minute he has… Smash it. Yeah. The minute he wants to fucking finger you within the first five minutes and then 10

minutes he has his mouth on your pussy and then, like, 45 minutes later he's jackhammering you. Like, that is not… To me, I think that that is the toxic masculinity sales pitch. Yes. And if we want to start reducing that, then we have to get away from that kind of establishing of a standard. Yeah.

So this is really cool. That said, I respect her sexual normal. Yes. And your sexual normal, and your sexual normalty is that you want to be, like, you want to fuck. Yeah. So just say, when can we fuck? Yes.

Exactly. Like, let's fuck tonight. Yeah. Like, I really want to fuck you. And then if he says, I want to take it, like, a little bit slower, then you have to respect that too, right? Yes. And that's what you're saying is like you have to respect everybody's sexual preference

and how they want the speed of it. Yeah. And then you can meet in the middle. But to not express that is a disservice to this new relationship. Yeah. And it is as easy as saying like, can we fuck? Like you can just say that and then see what his response is. Maybe he's been like holding out because he doesn't think you're ready.

I mean, it doesn't sound like you're not ready, but still. Sounds like you're like fucking trapezing your legs. But you never know, right? And like that is the key, communication. Yeah. Always. I think we, the moral, the message, whatever here is we have to start talking more about sex with each other or with the people we're having sex with and with each other in general

and communicating what we want as a part of expression of desire. Yep. And, you know, your desire is clearly you're ready to fuck and you should communicate that. That is so healthy and so honest and so awesome for a woman in 2020 to be like, yo, you see this pussy? Let's get it in. Yeah. Yeah.

And it's, but also be prepared for him to be like, I see it. I want it. But, you know, I kind of am chill with doing this for now until we get to know each other better. And you don't know. And that's what it is too. You also don't know what someone's history is. Yeah.

Or issues are around that. So while I think I want you to get, listen, fuck it. You're going to get fucked. You're all obviously super into him. It's going to happen. Yeah. And I guess that is because it's not the typical thing we experience with guys. Typically they're like, let's fuck right now.

You're probably feeling like, is there something wrong with me? You're starting to let like maybe some insecurity bubble up. Sure. Don't do that. Have the conversation. And I bet you by like fucking Sunday you will. I don't know. If he is popping a hard one when you're doing everything but.

Good time. Yeah. I think it's good times. Yeah. So I don't think we have anything to worry about there. It's just obviously there is a different timeline. Exactly. He has a different timeline than you and, but you have to talk about your timeline.

Yeah. So good luck. I hope you have sex soon or whenever you figure it out. Both agree on it. But I think you're in a good place. Like of all the letters we get, like sorry. Of all the letters today, you're okay. Sorry T, we don't feel bad for you.

Oh my God, we didn't feel bad for the one before. either. Yeah. Nobody's worried about you. Yeah. You're fine. Good luck with that though. You don't need it actually. I take that back. And don't keep us posted. This one we don't need to be posted on. We have a feeling it'll be fine. So that's it for today. Keep your questions coming to me at Sasha at LaineyGossip.com. Thanks for listening and subscribe to us wherever you get your podcasts, leave comments and reviews. Yes, definitely yell at us. Yell at us about not, You know, why do we ask people to keep you posted when, you know, whatever. We don't keep you posted.

In fact, a lot of people do actually let us know. It's just that we have to balance getting to other people's questions. But yes, at a later date, maybe we will do a podcast and include some of the follow-ups. But until then, thank you so much. And we'll be back next time. Bye. Bye. Quick question.

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