What's Your Drama - Sasha Answers: A Guilty Liar, a Bridesmaid from Hell, & a(nother) Rebound

Episode Date: September 20, 2016

Horray! We are back! Thanks for giving us the two weeks off during our busy time at work and also, letting Lainey deal and heal her stye.On today’s show: Is lying ever appropriate? Can you ditch a bridesmaid? And are rebounds healthy?Get listening and keep your questions coming to me at [e-mail]. Check us out on iTunes and on Google Play to subscribe and leave your and feedback, and visit www.laineygossip.com for all your entertainment updates.S.xx  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hi, this is Lainey and welcome to the Lainey Gossip Podcast for Sasha Answers and thank you for bearing with us. We're back after two weeks and I missed you guys. I missed coming over here and listening to your dogs sleep and snore and eat. I noticed that there is something different about you. I also noticed there's something different about you. Yeah, but the thing that's different about you is way more attractive than the thing that's different about me.

Yeah, I think you should update people on your stye. I mean, I'll say that I have seen it in person many times and it's, and it was the gnarliest thing I've ever seen in my life. But it popped, it popped and it now looks like now if this is what you were scarred with for your whole entire life, it's no big deal at this point. Well, okay. So today is Monday, September 19th. And that sty began on August 21st. It was, it's been over like almost a month. It's not resolved. At its worst, it had its profile. It had its own profile. It had a shadow. It was, my eye was fucking pregnant. It was. But I want

to give you some props only to say that, and I've said this to you and I've said this to many people because your style has been a topic of conversation for weeks. It premiered at TIFF. Yeah. Is that I have to give you props because you were so good about that. If I, if that happened to me, I would have, that would have put me in a bit of a mild depression because it was so big and like, I didn't know what, like, how do you deal with that? Like, will that be forever? It wasn't attractive. You had to go to work and like interview celebrities and it was fucking disgusting i had to be on live tv yeah every fucking day you brought your fashion a game you were smiling you were anyways whatever you were really good about it i would have i would have been really sad i'm not gonna lie it wasn't

cheap i focused on shoes and i invested in some shoes and i wear well i dan levy i have to shout out DLI wear because D set me up with some glasses a couple of years ago and they came in fucking handy. They came in fucking handy. And then I had my shoe game going. So basically, and then I had my hair up in like a crazy bun every day. So it was like, oh, look at my hair and look at my feet and do not look at whatever the fuck, the alien planet like growing on my eye in between.

Anyway, so it got super ripe last Thursday and… It juiced down your face. Oh my God. It was… I call it the exorcist because I had gently wiped a thing over it and it started to dribble out of my eye. I was crying tears. I wasn't crying, but it was a river of blood and pus, two of them coming down the left

side of my cheek. I want you to imagine a person crying tears of blood and pus. And then I hopped in the shower. I was like, ah, fuck. I was like, I can't, like, you know, I need to fucking shower this out. And then he came home right when I was showering it. And I came, like, I popped my head out of the shower. And he was like, Jesus, it's popping.

And then now it's probably a third of the size it used to be. And it still is a hard bump underneath. it has not resolved itself I may need surgery but I just want everybody to know that the goiter is gone I what is the luck that I had

that I had to carry around a planet like my eye was pregnant with a puss ball at TIFF like I had the world record everybody told me they'd never seen a stye turn into a like that anyway what's new about you is that I've just noticed

that on your left arm inside your elbow you have a tattoo yeah is it your first tattoo no okay how many tattoos do you right how many tattoos do you have oh i only have four i have a tramp stamp of my name and on the back okay like what kind of font uh i don't know it's like my chinese name so it's like really it was like when i returned all my university books i was like i'm gonna get my chinese name on me. You were totally an original. Yeah. Okay. Anyways, no, it's not like I have any lots of tattoos, but I just got this one. It's a crescent moon and a star. So that is, for those of you who know, a waxing crescent. Yeah. And then a star inside the waxing crescent.

Yes. And what is the significance? There's no significance other than like the fucking moon and the stars are really awesome you're and you're like borderline like a soothsayer or fortune teller but you know what i've been i really have to say and i know you probably don't this stuff doesn't resonate with you but like when there's a fucking full moon shit be fucking cray in my life like not necessarily like um personal stuff but i don't sleep like things really mess with me and i just i don't know is that the whole mercury and retrograde thing that but also like the harvest moon was like a couple of days ago and I didn't know it was happening until the next morning where I was like I didn't sleep and it yeah and that

happens all the time can I just ask you of your four tattoos yes you have a tramp stamp inside your elbow what are the two other places I've got a wrist on my wrist that's on my pulse that my sister and I both share yeah and then I've got um Yugoslav writing on my other wrist which says mom I love you in Yugoslav so which one hurt the most neither

none because they're all really tiny they're all really tiny I mean the tramp stamp emotionally has hurt me but that's it

and you would never get a tattoo right I would never I I would be disowned really

she would give all of her possessions how about if you tattooed your eyebrows on like every Asian woman does first of all

she has eyeliner tattooed And lip liner. But those kinds of tattoos are considered like only triad members do that. So you're a gangster actually right now. But yeah, I've never really, but I'm curious about the pain threshold. And you know why I ask is because I want to get my pussy lasered. Ew, you're so sick.

Why was this a transition from that? Because it pops. It hurts. Yeah, you know what? So I want to know the comparison between getting a tattoo and getting your fucking pussy hair lasered off. I can't tell you about the pussy lasering, but I can tell you that when I was like, I think I was in grade seven and because I'm half you, this love, like I definitely grew

a mustache and my mom was like, we should get that lasered off. And that hurt. That hurt. I remember. You got your mustache lasered? I mean, it still is. I still am fucking always rocking November. But that area is a pain area, like right above your lip.

Which I would think would be quite similar to your pussy. Your vagina. Yeah. So I'm just saying, heads up, seven up. It's not going to feel good. But people, I have friends who have done it who are like, oh, my God, it's great. I'm just so sick of shaving. I don't know.

But you know how I feel about that. I just don't really think that, like, it's that cute to be rocking a prepubescent nude fucking vagina at 40 and 50 and 60. Like, that's gross to me. It's all wrinkly and, like, bare and, like, hangy. I don't know. What? So when you get old, you're going to fucking grow that bush out to cover your wrinkles? Is that what you're telling me right now?

Yeah, yeah. That's what I'm saying. So you're telling me that your anti-aging technique when you get older is to grow out your bush. Yeah. I just don't think, I think when we are at 60 and we both rip down our pants, what's going to look cuter? Mine.

Because you're just going to have these like wrinkly, bare lips. You're just going to have folds with foliage on it, like hair foliage. And you're not going to see it. It's going to be nicely coiffed. Okay. I guess on that note, we should get to our questions. half mortified and half amused. Okay. Are you ready? I am ready. Dear Sasha and Lainey, here's the truth. I'm a liar. I lie to my friends when I don't want to go out sometimes. I lie to

my bosses when I don't want to work long hours. I lie even to my mom and sisters when I don't feel like helping with something as menial as going shopping. They're not horrible lies. I don't think I'm doing any real damage, but I'm 41 and I think that this is just getting to be immature. I need help. How do I stop lying to myself that I'm a liar? Okay. Well, you've just completely disclosed to us that you're a liar. Which is the first step. Yep. That's a good step. I mean, lying is awesome. Lying is so wicked until it's not. Do you know what I mean? Like, I have definitely lied my fair share, I think, because I thought it was going to

be an easier way to manage uncomfortable situations. And like, yeah, it works for a really long time. And then all of a sudden you're stressed and you, you know, you feel guilty. So to our reader, like, I understand. I mean, have you… Well, let's take it back for a second. But these seem like very insignificant lies. But that's what I'm saying.

But insignificant lies, that's what I'm saying, that's the kind of lying that I used to do, add up and then you start to feel guilty and like why aren't you just telling your friends I don't want to do this or your parents, I'm just not like, right now I'm not mentally right to go and fucking hang your fucking posters up or whatever the menial tasks that she's asked to be doing. I'm just sort of, I'm just saying that I understand lying but it's way easier at the end of the day to just tell the truth. And I've learned that and it's like, it's uncomfortable, but it's less uncomfortable than having a lie after lie way on your shoulder. I personally think that I agree that certain lies are really bad, but I also think that we have to get through life sometimes wearing masks as lubricant. So if your boss, here, I lie even to my bosses when I don't want to work long hours. So let's play out the consequence of not lying to your boss.

Your boss is like, oh, hey, I need you to work three hours past your checkout time. And you're like, boss, no, I don't really feel like it. I'm meeting my friends for a drink tonight at 6 o'clock. And one of them might be bringing a really hot guy or girl. Or I've never gone to this restaurant I really want to try out. So see you later, boss. I'm not working long hours. Like, that to me is a social lubricant lie or a professional lubricant lie that I'm not

mad at. But instead of having to go through a lie, let's say with the boss, couldn't you just be like, oh, I'm sorry, I can't do that. I actually have other arrangements. Like, can't you? You don't have to give, like the alternative is not give your whole life story. Yeah. Do you know what I mean?

I just, I agree. I just have seen so many times in the real world where you give that kind of, I have other arrangements, and then somebody steps up and is like, I can do it, and then you miss out on the promotion. Sure. Okay, how about this? Let's keep, like, to our reader, keep lying to your work. Like, just keep that one in your fucking back pocket.

That's cool. The work, yeah, fine. Like, leave that until the end of your, like, self-betterment. Like, but keep lying to work. but but to your friends to your fucking mom and sister like I don't necessarily think that's I don't I'm I don't co-sign that that to me is not a-okay if you are straight up lying to the people that you love the most in your life yeah I do something and I don't feel like it I'm not going to make some crazy up crazy story to cover it up I'm just gonna be like no I'm tired I'm in my

pajamas already which is the truth yes that is often the truth that's always my truth I mean those are the things those are just insignificant waste of time lies for our reader for sure i yes and i think that in your case what you need to do is decide which lies are going to benefit you and i mean the work lies in the long term or at least not make you vulnerable professionally And then with the people who are your 100s, like your family or your friends, real friends can kind of accept, like our friend group accepts that Sasha goes to bed at 8 o'clock every night, has a no- I love how you, when you do this, you pretend like you're like this big party animal.

You're in bed all the time. I'm sorry. No, no, don't talk about TIFF. Last Tuesday night when we all got together at fucking 11 o'clock on a Tuesday night, your email was like, in what world would I go out and not be in my bed at 11 o'clock? Yeah. Who the fuck goes out on a Tuesday when they have like heavy work weeks? No.

No. But let's just make it clear though. I just, I don't want to backtrack too much. You're equally as lame as I am. Name a time when I was lame. both you and I at 1201 every new year

are like let's bounce so fucking eat shit cause you are you are okay are we being helpful right now yes

yes we are okay so at work totally lie like let's at work lie to your boss all the time I don't want you to be honest at work and be like

I have plans with my friends no you're you gotta take your mother you gotta have your dog you gotta you know you've got

your landlord is yeah you've real lie in the hospital yeah work

with your friends and your family, maybe start testing the waters. You know what? I'm just so tired. I don't feel like it. Be honest. Don't, yeah. Don't babysit. Just start telling the truth with your family and friends and you'll realize how much better you feel when you're not weighed down at night thinking about the lies and how to get out of that lie and how to cover up the other one. Yeah. Trust me. Like it's so much easier. Is there an alternative though? Like let's say, I don't know, your mother's like, I need you to come over and whatever, and you don't feel like it. Can she be like, you know, right now is not a good time, mom, but can I come over tomorrow morning? Can we, if she actually follows through with the next morning. The thing is, don't be a

dick to your family, right? Like if your mom's asking you to do something, just do it. That's how I feel. Hence why I have a tattoo that I love my mom. Okay, I hope that helps. We just told someone to lie at work so yeah to our bosses we never lie fuck we live there it's true um okay next hi Sasha and Lainey I listen to your podcast every week and had hoped I would not find myself in a position where I would feel the need to write into you but here I am I'm less than six weeks away from my wedding and shit is getting seriously fucked up with my bridesmaids we get so much wedding it's the season requests yeah okay anyway um six weeks away from wedding shit's getting seriously fucked up with bridesmaids bridesmaids i only have three bridesmaids b c and f and never

picked a maid of honor because i didn't want to pick a favorite of my closest friends to begin with in the beginning everything was great everyone was super excited we worked well together Then a few weeks ago, I had my bachelorette, which was amazing It was a weekend away with my best girlfriends Except B had a hissy and was an absolute cow to F She was so obvious about it, not letting F in the kitchen to help make meals Continuing to tell F where things were and that she was doing things wrong, etc Let me set the stage

Before this, F hadn't been the most helpful in logistical planning of the bachelorette But I knew that she would pull through with actual tasks to be completed, which she did. Anyways, B had expressed frustration, which I told her I understood, and told her all the effort was not unnoticed. I thought that had cleared things, and to be sure, I asked B before the bachelorette to put aside her frustration with F for me and to get along with everyone so I could enjoy my weekend. She assured me that she would, but clearly she lacked follow-through, being an absolute

nightmare to F all weekend. F handled it like a champ, not getting me involved at all. And B apologized to me before leaving saying, I'm sorry, I overdid it yesterday and I was very tired. This left a bad taste in my mouth to say the least. Then the other night I was talking to C and she mentioned that something had been weighing on her that B had said to her before the bachelorette while we were setting up. B apparently told C that I was on the fence about asking her to be a bridesmaid and had wanted others to be my bridesmaid instead, but then finally decided C would do. I was furious.

C is someone that has been in my life forever and we've become extremely close over the last three or four years and our families are close and our partners are close too. Either way, I set C straight. That was completely untrue and said that I could not believe B would say that. Now I have no idea what to do. I do not want to create issues, but I also cannot tolerate this. I don't want to get B's back against the wall and end up creating more issues for the wedding, but I also do not want to give B the opportunity to continue action this way

without understanding there are repercussions. I really don't know what to do because I'm afraid if I talk to her, it will make things worse. But if I don't talk to her, things will get worse anyways. Please help me hurt bride. All right. So hurt bride has three friends in her bridal party. B, C, and F.

And B is the biatch. I'm going to call them Brenda, Carmen. Oh, I won't remember these. Can't we just call B… And Francesca. Okay, fine. Brenda is like Brenda Walsh, a mega drama queen. Because Brenda has beef with Carmen and with Francesca.

Well, is just creating beef. Yeah. Is it too late to cut Brenda out? You can't cut… You can't… I guess you can't do that. It's six weeks away. Okay.

So that's not happening. So what if she shows up, like, with, I don't know, pig's blood all over her at the wedding? That's true. Yeah, yeah. Fair. I mean, it sounds really, like, limp-wristed advice here, but, I mean, you kind of just have to talk to be, right? You have to…

Because, I mean, the main event is coming up soon, and that's when people lose their minds. Like everyone just loses their minds on wedding days for some odd reason. It's so crazy that Bea's not even the bride. Brenda's not even the bride and Brenda's going like being bridal. Yeah, and igniting bombs everywhere she goes. I don't know. What would you say to Bea?

Because she's got to confront Bea. If I were to psychologize Bea right now from the information we've gotten, Bea seems to try, like Hurt Bride is B's focus. And B is trying to prove, Brenda is trying to prove to Hurt Bride that she is the best friend. She's trying to be like, oh, hey, Francesca, you're such a lazy asshole and you didn't do anything. And now you can't come into the kitchen and I'm going to do everything and I'm going to be the most organized. Then she's saying to Carmen, oh, by the way, Carmen, her bride didn't even want you to be in the bridal party. So, Brenda is like, I am the best friend.

I am the number one. I am the alpha bridesmaid. I think that she's becoming kind of territorial. Kind of, yes. So, that's my psychoanalysis of Brenda. As for what to do about Brenda, what do you do with like a single white female or a single Asian female or a single black female? whatever Brenda is and this, yeah. I wonder if you just kind of ignore it and not wake

the beast. The beast be woke. So to speak. I think that the other alternative is if you want to ignore it, then I think that it's in our reader's interest to find like a sister or like another person who can mitigate it and save her fucking soul day of. I think that maybe since c and f carmen and francesca have experience with uh brenda's behavior behavior maybe they can all come to an agreement like hey can we just do damage control on brenda right now let's get through the wedding and then we will figure out figure it out after the wedding I wonder if she can recruit C and F to, because they know the background. Right.

So to just keep on dealing with Brenda's bullshit until day of and just keep on like just putting out those fires for her. Because what I'm afraid of is if Brenda seems to be escalating right now. So she tried to be a total asshole or was a total asshole to F Francesca at the engagement party or at the bachelorette. And then she tried to drive a wedge between the bride and the other friend. Then her antics are getting more and more dramatic and more and more severe. And I just, man, I mean, short of a restraining order, which you don't want that kind of shit.

Of course, no. You can't fucking pull out a restraining order. I don't know. I don't know. I think you're right. Sure. Have those girls still on your team and all just know that Bea is a bit unstable for whatever reason and that she will probably be a bit of a freak on the wedding day and that everybody

should not take it personally and just to try to quell her crazy for the time being. And then after, to our writer, I think it's time to reassess your friendship with Bea. She does not sound like… Or to see where this is coming from. To have some compassion. Like, is there something going on with Bea to make her so territorial, to make her so… Like, she seems to be clinging on really hard. But she also seems to be very manipulative and hurtful.

100%. I can't imagine this coming out of nowhere. So, I mean, if it is coming out of nowhere, fine. Then, yes, figure out why that's happening. But if you can look back and actually realize that this has actually been a string of behavior you've seen from Brenda for a long time, then I think it's time to like chop, chop, chop, cut that chick loose when you're, when you're married. I just want to know, you know, if I would, I want, I mean, I just want to see where this

is coming from. I have been mean and manipulative as a result of some hidden hurt, you know, and I think that it's not the best way to behave. Did you do this, like, in your adult life? Well, if you consider in your 20s your adult life, sure. Okay. In my 30s, no. My 40s, no.

But I think when you're growing and you're still finding out who you are and everything is changing. So when you were a manipulative cow, did someone have to tell you that? Did you get a sit-down? Did someone sit you down and wake you up? uh it wasn't so much someone sitting me down where it was just my behavior was to everybody my behavior to certain people was so damaging that i i lost people i loved yeah and and then that made you reassess yeah but i feel like maybe those relationships could have been salvaged if

If someone were to have compassion and say, I wonder why Elaine is behaving in such a cunty way. Where is that hurt coming from? And if there was that kind of patience, perhaps there may have been some opportunity to still have a connection with those people. Sure. So I don't know. Like this is maybe the moon phase right now is making me nice because ordinarily I'd be

Like, fuck you, double barrel. Yes. Okay. So I hope that helps. There's options there. And congratulations on your wedding. I am sorry that, you know, you have to be dealing with this while you are planning a super fun day.

But let us know how it goes. Yeah. Keep us posted. Okay. Final question. Last spring, I moved away from my boyfriend, fiance, whatever. Okay. But is it a boyfriend or fiance?

How was there? a gray area here. Okay. Anyway, last boyfriend, I moved away, sorry, last spring, I moved away from my boyfriend slash fiance slash whatever in a different city. Okay. I came to where my brother and parents live. That's been a challenge. I spent a month on the couch feeling way too many feelings and being not ready to deal. A couple months later, I have a job, I work out, and I meet new people. Okay. So this is last spring is what, five months ago? Great. Forward to now, On my 30th birthday, my brother organized a party for both of us. Our birthdays are the same week.

Apparently, our parents like to harvest in September. Hey, I was born in September too, P.S. A kind of friend from my uni showed up and we hit it off. I've made it clear that I don't want a relationship, but a relationship seems to be happening. This guy and I, Jay, have been sleeping together, fucking, and I stay at his place half the time. It's better than my brother's couch. In turn, I cook, clean, and now my kitten is staying at his house. We have so much in common.

My family loves him. He spent an hour talking to my mom at my birthday. And I recently met his immediate family. They seem to love me. We're talking about a holiday in the country where he's from come December. I'm scared, like really fucking scared. I'm getting on my feet, and I still have mixed feelings about my ex. I'm not in love with him, but I did leave someone to be with my ex, and our breakup

was sudden. Within a week, he got me a plane ticket to go stay with my brother. That was that. I'm not over it as it happened last spring. I've jumped through and over obstacles just to feel like a person again. My heart is still in shambles because who just decides they're done with you in a week's time and sets you loose? I do feel myself falling in love with this guy here.

He knows my deal and has been supportive. He's not imposing labels. Do I go with it? My heart is in the mix. For the record, we're all in our early 30s and have been there. There's no chance I'll get back with my ex. I just feel super cautious about anyone. But this guy would be it if I weren't halfway across the country because my ex sent me here.

Much appreciated, M. I'm a bit confused. So the ex broke up with her and bought her a plane ticket and said, go the fuck home? Yeah. And so now she's home on her brother's couch, but then she's met some dude and they are starting a thang but she doesn't really feel like totally resolved with what happened with her ex but she has love feelings for this guy this new guy right that's what's happening isn't it i think that is where we're starting from is that this is a very convoluted situation yes

one that we barely understand so given that it's a very convoluted situation should she's asking us if she should be with the dude that she's fucking now right right and like he obviously wants something more serious well he's moved her in and is agreeing to look after her cat oh right oh i thought that was oh my god i thought kitten was like a cute thing for her yeah i thought she like moved in like her own anyways i i think that it's literally her kitten Okay. Feline. You know what? That doesn't even make it different. Like the actual species of feline. Okay. Check. No? Yes. I don't, it doesn't matter anyways. You don't need to reread it. No, it's not that. I just think that it would be, I hope that women don't speak about themselves

in terms of species of animals. I just, okay. Sorry. I feel like we're flailing. We are here to help you. Okay. I'm going to fucking snap back into this mode. Okay. Right. Well, I mean, I don't know. I get why she's stressed because she has these unresolved feelings. But like, what if this guy's just a rebound? Like, who cares? Isn't that like what we're supposed to use men for in these circumstances is to get over the ex? Like, you know, log in some good fucking time, get someone to like you and feel good about yourself again. And then from there, you can assess whether you want to be with him or not. Like, I don't think there needs to be, like, these guilty, horrible feelings.

Yes, like, that's nice that she has them. That means that she's, like, a nice person. But if she has to dump his ass in a couple months because she's not ready, then she has to dump his ass. Aren't you curious, though? Because the way she's making it sound is that she got together with her ex after breaking up with another guy. And then her ex said, see you later.

And then… And shipped her away. And shipped her away. And then she hooked up with this guy. So I'm just curious, and this is going to be entirely how you feel, but I'm just curious what will happen and what your life looks like when you're just you and by yourself for a while. It just seems like we have a series of connecting men, right? She's like, I'm not in love with my ex, but I did leave someone to be with my ex, and our breakup was sudden. and then she's with this then she's with the x and then he ships her off on a plane

and then by the way like i i don't even understand that's okay it's very dramatic and so and then and then she goes home pattern here that she might need to be yeah there's never a clear break where she's like i'm over this guy then i'm just m m doing the m shit figuring out some M shit. Yeah. And then, oh, hi, you, let's fuck. But, you know, there's, there never seems to be a period of time in which M has M to herself. I'm just curious. So I want to put it out there to M. What does that look like when you're just you? I think that's fair. I also think that, I'm trying, this actually made me think about when I started dating Corey I had I was sort of I was in mid breakup with ex-boyfriend who I deeply loved

and wanted things to work out but they didn't and there was a lot of overlap at that time because Corey was coming into my life at that time and I was feeling really weird about it and Corey was like in love with me on day one and I like you almost get mixed up with those feelings you're like I still haven't really resolved what's going on with my past relationship but oh my god this other thing feels so good um and like are you in the right mind frame all that kind of stuff I mean luckily for me yes it was I was scared to make that decision but I did make that decision oh my god Corey you made a website oh my god you did oh my god can we just talk about the website yeah okay everybody Corey and Sash started seeing each other around Tiff no because I was like there for

the markers yeah and then so it was like august september and then you and amy and dan or dean went away yeah no amy not amy so my friend dean and dan and i went to uh london london and cory was staying at my house and he we had this blog called mermaid princess god knows it's probably still online. And Corey literally every day, like he wasn't part of this website, but he posted to the website. It was the cutest thing. We all looked at it and sent it around. No, there was this cute post. First of all, one of the posts was just his face, his sad face being like, here's the calendar. And this is how many days have gone by. There was another one of him in a shower with it just pouring on him fully clothed because he was so sad i don't think i've

ever shown yes at cory's blog post when you were away i wish cory was like this now cory's like it's fucking hard to like get a hug from him so fuck i wish he was like what he used to be like but cory was like proving himself yes to you and so that was uh really hard to deny so i'm just saying for our reader like that I was in what seems like a very similar situation and I you know was able to cut my feelings for the ex and move on with Corey um was it like fucking easy no but it happened and it worked out but I really do think there is a lot of weight to what you're saying Lainey which is yeah like sorry I didn't even pick up on the fact that she had an ex before her ex. So you're right. Like, there needs to be some time to do some work on yourself and to

figure out, like, who you are on your own. Like, that's so important. Always important. So if that's the case, if that resonates with you, M, then for sure. I would take a time out and really, yeah, just, like, do you and, like, figure out what you like and what you don't like and what didn't work in those past relationships, how you were able to be in a relationship whereby you didn't know it was coming until you got a fucking plane ticket to go home? You know, like, what went wrong? What are these types of guys that you're with? Like, those are all great things to take stock of.

Yeah, I think that I totally appreciate the example that you cited from your own personal situation, but I think what I'm sensing here, and because I know you so well, is that in your case, you had this, like, awesome crew of friends. You lived with two people you loved. And there was that time, this like beautiful time when even though you were going through a certain heartbreak or a certain transition period with your ex, you still had this like grounding crew of people that gave you an existence apart from your love life. And with Em here, she's been transplanted back home.

And I don't, there's no indication here that there's any independence, right? She's either living with her brother or with her parents. There's been no indication of like a friend life. And the first friend is a family friend that she reconnected with at a party and then now they're fucking and whatever. So I just want her to have a circle. You had a circle. Like you had us, you had Amy, you had Dean, you had Dan.

Like there was still this like, there are boxes in your life that were complete. and I just want, I don't, my gut says that M's, those boxes of M's are not complete and I want those for her. Yeah. Anyway, so, or, I don't know. Especially she didn't even know if her boyfriend was her fiance. So, like, there seems, yeah, you're right. There's a lot of blanks to fill in here, M.

So, I encourage you to fill them in for yourself. And listen, doesn't mean you have to stop fucking the guy. Just saying, maybe don't move your kitten in with him. That's what we're saying. Euphemistically or literally. Take the kitten back. I think that's it for today. It is.

Keep your questions coming to Sasha at LadyGossip.com. Check us out on iTunes and on Google Play. And this is your homework. If you've had your pussy lasered and a tattoo, please let us know what hurts more. I need to know. Just don't send us pictures. okay see you next time bye