What's Your Drama - Sasha Answers: Doing You, a Night Crawling Man, and a Jealous Friend

Episode Date: May 24, 2016

Welcome back! Thanks for hitting up the Sasha Answers podcast!On today's show: We define 'doing you' (which Lainey isn't stoked about doing), how to confront your night crawling man, and if jealousy is good for a friendship. Including Lainey's advice in Drake spoken word.Take a listen and check us out on iTunes and keep your questions coming to me at [e-mail]. And of course visit www.laineygossip.com for all your entertainment gossip and fashion needs. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Hi. How are you doing? How are you feeling? I know that you were better. MIA for a bit. I had a really weird health week, which I can almost work through anything. I don't ever, I rarely, rarely call a sick day, but I can't work through dizziness, like vertigo. And that's what happened to me. I just heard Yassic go like in my ear and his arms are crossed. He was so sympathetic no no he knew i wasn't feeling well yeah but he like he for him it's just like oh it's just your hormones and your period but this is what happened to me last year strangely around this time the first day of my period or the day before my period i got super fucking dizzy yeah um and couldn't like i couldn't stand up i couldn't do it and then the same thing happened

the other day first day or the day before my first day my period i could not stand up like He had to come pick me up from work. Wow. I remember the last time that happened last year. I saw him as you were leaving. He had to come pick me up. I could not drive. Like, I could not operate a vehicle.

Right. And then spent that whole day. Oh, right. And I, he's telling me to tell the story of me at the Met. But, so, I'm a fainter, first of all. I did not know this. Like, in certain conditions, I will faint. Like, of heat conditions.

Like heat conditions, period conditions, like whatever happens to me during my period usually and when I'm hot. So I was so fucking dizzy this week that he had to come pick me up. I had to be in a dark room for a whole day, completely unplugged. Like I couldn't stand up. And then it got better as my period like trailed off. Right. So it's some kind of hormone thing.

I better go check it out. But I was once in New York and I wanted to go see the McQueen gala or the McQueen exhibit. And it was a fucking hot day. I was by myself. And they won't let you take a water bottle in there. It was so hot. I walked there. I was sweating.

Had my water bottle. They're like, check your bottle. So I was waiting in line for an hour on my period. Got to the front of the line. And the next thing I know, I'm on the ground. That's really scary, actually. Cheek on the cold, cool tile of the Metropolitan Museum of Art. How glam.

And, yeah, like, then they had to wheelchair me out. Like, I had to get fucking wheelchaired out of the Met and didn't see the fucking exhibit. Jacek's laughing. He thinks it's the funniest story. Like, I was by myself. That's really sad. And people must have thought, like, that day they must have gone home

and said a fucking meth head was lining up and then cracked out on the ground. And then crapped out. Like, yeah, it was, anyway, so I'm a fainter. And so I didn't faint this time, thank God, but I was really dizzy and that's great. Okay, yeah, hormones are crazy. Hormones are very crazy.

And the theme here is you're typically not a drama queen. Well, typically I'm totally a drama queen about other shit, but not about my body. You don't like, you have no time for people feeling ill or like feeling any sort of. No, I, like, I practically will work, and when I broke my arm in France, I was like, oh, let's have surgery, and then let's go right back to work. Yeah.

You know, didn't miss a day. But when you're dizzy, or when I was, like, I could not stand up straight. I went to have her go once, and it was horrible. Fucking crazy. Yeah. You feel like a lunatic. Also, the fact that I'm a fainter, it doesn't help. Like, maybe.

I, it's just this weird thing. I want to see you faint one day. I have fainted. Like, I do. I'll be there to help you, but, like, I kind of want to see you faint. I have fainted also like I used to work at a supermarket checkout and I fainted on the job like boop, like scanning people's groceries, like scan your peanut butter, scan your fucking Ziploc bags and then boom, all of a sudden I hit the deck.

Like you black, because I have fainting where I'll be, I don't know what happens. I feel like it's not a hormone thing. It's more like something that I eat and something that will just fuck me up and I feel like A, I'll either shit my pants or I'll faint at the same time and so I'll, many times, like ask Corey. Do you choose to faint to bypass shit in your pants? Yes, but I always have to like find, it's always when I'm at a restaurant or somewhere where I'm not at home and I have to like find a bathroom and I will lay out on whatever

gross bathroom floor to feel the cold and that will usually snap me up. Okay. But it's a little bit different. But if that was, at least you have control over it. I have no fucking control over my fainting. It just like fucking happens. Once every few years, I'll do a good faint and like out in public. Well, I mean, we have Beyonce on Wednesday, so fingers crossed.

You'll faint there. I do not want to faint in Beyonce. Oh, my God. Oh, I'm sorry. I'll take that back. Okay, let's get into the questions. Okay. Hi, Sasha.

I've been listening to all your podcasts, and you always say, quote, do you, which sounds good in theory, but what does that really mean? That's all curious. That's funny. That's actually a really good question. Do you. What does that mean to you? Why are you looking at me like frowning?

Because you don't like that question. No. I'm like, okay. what a what a dummy are you helping you by like talking about do you what's your crisis oh my god don't she's wanting to maybe wants to learn how to do you i don't know like i feel like that is eating up a legitimate person's problem okay but we're this i answer people's in a chronological fucking order so fucking eat shit and fucking answer this chick who has a fucking question okay i'll start then you dickwad curious i'm here to help

you oh my gosh she's still frowning okay let me help you because do you might sound simple to us but i think like i think um do you means do whatever makes you happy right so um whether that means doing the things you love being around the people that you love um or you know filling yourself with joy and spiritually your gut instinctually fill in whatever hippiness blank you want to do there but find purpose I think that's do you and and um kind of fucking you know Oprah and own your truth and I think so much of the time we live um surrounded by people's expectations yeah family or friends fucking our spouses so it's about kind of like rejigging all that and um oh my god you're looking at your phone no i'm looking i'm accessing drake to see

if maybe he can help us because his lyrics are oh yeah that's right i'm doing me i'm doing me i'm living life right now man and this is what i'm gonna do like what does that mean right so i'm accessing drake okay good this is really nice good inspiration keep that in there the singing or not um but yeah like i this is a song from drake called over this is the and the The lyrics are, what am I doing? What am I doing? Oh, yeah, that's right. I'm doing me.

I'm doing me. I'm living life right now, man. And this is what I'm going to do till it's over, till it's over. But it's far from over. Okay. So I don't think Drake explains that very well. I think, like, you know, as he says in this song. This is really funny.

He finds himself, you know, in a place where there are too many people right now that he didn't know last year. And he's like, who the fuck are y'all looking around? And he's like, I swear it feels like the last few nights we've been everywhere and back, but I just can't remember it all. Okay, you're doing a spoken word of Drake right now. No, but he's, you know, he's looking around. He's like, wow, I'm surrounded by people I don't know. And what's my base? What's my foundation?

and you know what? I'm going to take it back to doing me and surround myself with the people who know who I am so I can be who I am, do me because there's a long road ahead and it ain't over yet. Yes. Fucking preach Drake.

He nails that on the head. Curious. I wonder if we can answer all questions with a Drake song. We could. I wonder if today we can try and make that happen. So check one. But you're right. It's all like Oprah, do you, do me, like, you know, instead of living in a way that

makes other people happy, it's what is right to you. Yeah. That's a really, and I know that sounds simple, but that's actually not simple for a lot of people. A lot of people live in this cloud of what I was saying, expectation. And so they do lose themselves and think they have to be a certain way for other people. And then, yeah, they lose their center and don't know how to. I agree.

And I think that, as she said, it sounds good, but it's harder to do and whatnot. I also think you can't do you all the time. You can't walk down the street every single day and do you here, do you there, do you everywhere. I think that if everybody was doing you, doing me, you'd have a narcissistic personality disorder. As Drake said, it would be over. Yeah. Which is why I'm just a little bit confused about this question, because I wanted to know what situation in which do you want to apply the do you?

Like, you know, here's an example of when maybe you shouldn't do you is like when you are having a conversation with somebody and all you want to do is talk about the things that mean something to you and somebody brings up a topic that you might not be interested in. Do you, the true spirit of it would be like, you know what? I don't fucking care about what you're saying. Like, I'm just going to do me here and talk about what I want to talk about. No, that means you're a dick.

Yes. So it's about selectively choosing when to do you in life, right? Yeah. And obviously it comes down to when to do you in a time when you're not walking around doing you over and above stepping down on other people. Yeah, I think when we say do you, it's in some sort of crisis or, you know, whether it be a relationship or whatever, friendship, whatever the fuck, is you do you when you feel like everything around you is wrong

and you need to step out of that situation and do you. Do you know who do yous too much or does himself too much? Justin Timberlake. Let's not encourage a do you in a world where everybody has to be fucking Justin Timberlake.

Me, me, me. Do me. I'm me. My shitty news fucking song. I hate that song. I hate that song. Anyway. So we're not going to take

Justin Timberlake's advice today. We're going to not find songs that we can apply Justin Timberlake but yes no so do you is not Justin Timberlake but maybe it's

a little Drake and over yes I agreed I will say this though if Curious is not just Curious

but she is going through like maybe a bit of a crisis or dark moment in her life that is where I would like to say

though is the best time that you can figure out yourself so like if you're feeling dark if you're going

through a shitty situation um you know take that time to kind of understand what's going on how you can kind of push through it um why you're feeling the things you're feeling like ask yourself questions when you're going through a dark moment because then that is when you can figure out who you are what you want yeah and those are important things to do should you do you in that situation or should you maybe not do you so much because like i mean the first thing that popped into my mind because we don't know she didn't tell us is, you know, is she cheating on a spouse or is she the other person or whatever?

In that case, don't do you so much. Yeah. Step back from doing you. Yeah. Doing you isn't good at that point. That is what got you in the dark place. You know, maybe not. Yeah. Okay. Well, can we find another situation in which to apply some Drake? Yes. Okay. Moving on. Uh, hi Sasha. Hi Lainey. It's three 30 in the morning and I'm beyond pissed writing this. I don't know who to call and I don't even know why I'm writing you, but I clearly need to vent. My boyfriend is still not home and this has been his behavior for months. We've only been dating for six months and is he cheating? Is he out with his friends? What's happening this late that he needs to be out? I've been texting him all night and he hasn't written back and I'm furious. I am this close to

changing the locks on him. Do I just sound like a Beyonce cliche at this point? What do I do when he gets home? If I break up with him, will I regret it? All I want to do is break up with him and never speak to him again. P-O. Wow. And of course, not Drake, but the Beyonce song that she is referencing is Beyonce's Sorry.

Looking at my watch, he should have been home. Today I regret the night I put that ring on. He always got them fucking excuses. Yeah. Anyway, fuck, I hate that. I hate the fucking being at home and he's not home yet

or she's not home yet and waiting by the phone for the phone. I hate that. Like, God, I just, I almost have, remembering that is bringing back such visceral, like palpable anger for me. And it's anger at that person and shame. Like, why am I sitting here

waiting for your fucking ass to call me? I hate that. Well, you're waiting because you're a normal person and you're hoping that that person will give you a speck of respect. Fuck. I mean, I feel P.O.'s fucking vibe because, oh my God. I feel like I always only go for guys who love to rage against the machine and fucking

burn the midnight oil. Not to whatever, but yes, your husband is currently getting shit-faced now. Often you wait up for him. I don't so much now. I mean, I've trained him to be like a normal human being. I come home at a normal time, but I have, I'm thinking of one boyfriend who would do this to me constantly. And I put up with it for like three years. Like even, even so much, I remember one night he, we were having like a nice night in my room and we were like watching TV. He was fucking

tapping away on his computer and he was like, oh, my computer's about to die. I'm going to grab the cord. And I think it was like 10 30 PM. And I was like, okay, cool. I'm just going to fucking close my eyes i woke up at 2 a.m and he wasn't there he didn't ever come back from grabbing the cord from his car to recharge his computer his computer was still sitting next to me um and i didn't hear from him until i was calling him i had like i had to call his fucking parents in the middle of night to be like is he dead like where the fuck did he go and he just fucking went and um partied and so i feel po's pain because i've been there and um if they've only been dating for six months and this has been happening for a few months already.

Yeah. Dude. I wish I knew. Dude, it's time to fucking pull the plug, though. I just wish I knew. I mean, I just wish we had a little bit more information. Like, has he, I mean, are we just assuming that she's texted and he just, you know, doesn't respond to the texts?

Yeah, I think it seems like it's probably a bit of a running theme and it's probably getting worse, you know, as the days go on. And I want to know, like, have, because right now she's just writing in anger, right? So she's, and we both, as you clearly have heard, totally understand you. So I, she's writing in anger. So I don't know that she's like, you know, two months ago, did they have a talk and he agreed that, yeah, I'll just check in with you. Like, it's fine.

Of course. I'll, you know, because I feel like in none of these circumstances, like when I was annoyed when the times that's happened to me, it's not like I never, I didn't want him to go out. It's not like I wanted to impose a curfew on him. It's just like, you know, the living in limbo that you don't know about. As you just said, right? Like he just took off on you in the middle of the night.

Like you wake up, he's not in bed. So I just want to know what the excuse, for lack of a better word, has been and what the plays have been before, how those conversations went. Was there ever a conversation? Yeah. If there has not been a conversation, there definitely needs to be a conversation. And that's what it is, too, is, like, go have fun. Go fucking party.

Like, you know, that's good times. But there needs to be a balance, and that is to check in. Like, you got to check in. Or you got to be like, hey, babes, I'm not fucking coming home until, like, really late tonight having a blast fucking piece. Go to bed. Yeah. At least in that, you set your, like, your nerves are fucking calm, you're chill, you

You know that you won't expect that human being coming through your door until, you know, 6 a.m. Fine. Yeah. One-offs are cool. I think if you're consistently seeing this behavior, I mean, I've always thought like nothing good happens, right? Like you always hear this.

Nothing good happens in the a.m.s. Like you're not doing any, you're not like fucking reading a book. You're not fucking studying. Well, I don't know. You're balls out partying and you're opening up a door. if it happens enough times you're opening up a door to the possibility but you haven't left your husband yeah because i know he's not cheating on me i'm typically with him those times that i've been out with him i'm with him you just have him early yes i have him so if anything you're with

him at the end i know the people he's with right um but i just want to that's what i want to know too like does she not know the people he's with like you know there's all kinds of blanks here You know, that I just don't think that like, hey, see you later. I want to leave you is a first response until or a first response to a situation of no conversations and expectations and standards have been laid down and met. OK, so let's give her some stages of advice, which is stage one. Stage one, if a conversation has not occurred, you have to be like, listen, I'm not here to like fucking cock block your fun. I just don't want to worry. So can you just text me back once in a while?

And if he doesn't, if he thinks that's too much, then again, cut the fucking cord. Then you got to be like, okay, well then we're not on the same page. Yeah. You want to party later. Yes. Okay. So stage two is. If you've already had this conversation once or whenever, and he's still doing this, I

would be like, you know, then I would get a little bit more dramatic and emotional. Not faint. If you have that skill, though, maybe you should faint. I mean, I wish I could pass it on to people. Okay, go on. But then I think that then you get a little bit more dramatic and you'll be like, you know what? It's not fair to me. I worry like this.

To me, it means that you do not care and you don't respect my worry, my concern, me staying up like I've expressed to you. So I feel like she should at least get that out. Yeah. I would like to believe that she's probably gotten stage one and stage two out and dealt with that because the anger, the palpable anger that's fucking buzzing through my phone while reading this is like she's fucking fed up. I agree. She's had those talks. And so if you're at that point, then again, we go back to the do you, which is figure out what the fuck you want. Do you want to be in a relationship where the dude's taking off all the time and you can't control him? And I mean, control that bad behavior. And if the answer is no, you want to be with someone who's like more of a homebody, then this dude isn't for you. This guy isn't for you.

And if you are worried about cheating, then I mean, I wouldn't want to tap into your paranoia, but that's what I was saying earlier, which is it does when a person is going out constantly and getting fucking totally wasted and is out all the time and hanging out with like buttloads of people, then you are opening yourself to the opportunity of being in a situation that you shouldn't be in. which is having your mouth on some person's private part, right? That's a possibility. And so you don't want to be in a relationship six months and feeling all this angst and feeling all this stress and doubting everything he's doing because that's not going to fucking do you any good. So I don't know.

If my gut would be like, okay, wake up. I mean, obviously I don't know when she sent this, but like the morning has come and maybe it's time to have that conversation about breaking up. If you can't change it, then he should be. We haven't had it yet. Yeah. Like, I think that one of the things of, one of the reasons why do you is still not a given

for people is because collectively, as a society, we're shitty communicators. You know, like, I think that the 50% marriage dying rate is testament to the fact that we are shitty communicators. And while we walk around being like, do me, I need this, snap, snap, finger, you know, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Many people we've seen in relationships are not good at articulating what they want. There could be many reasons for it. You know, like, that's why I'm not entirely convinced that P.O. has laid down her needs, wants, expectations.

Because, let's face it, sometimes, especially early in a relationship, we fucking suck at talking about what we want and what we need. And you hope that smug look, they'll get the drift. That's right. Right. Or, and this goes back to do you, you don't want to be that girl who is like demanding or keeping tabs on a guy. It's not that this situation isn't, but I mean, here I go again. Maybe I might end up on a feminist ramp, but socially we've been conditioned by like, and men too. What? Your girl like needs you to fucking text her every couple of hours or like at midnight? Who's that? Why is she such a fucking ball and chain?

and then no girl wants to be the fucking ball and chain. So then that gets in the way of communication. So while we have assumed that maybe she has gone through all these stages of communicating what she needs, there is a very good chance she might not have. And it is time to then do you in whatever way, wherever that stage applies. Yeah. Okay, well, I think we've given her, you know, some different levels of advice. Drake and Beyonce that time.

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Choose the right shows, the right audiences, the right format. Then watch the data tell you it worked. You're not buying impressions. You're buying influence. Learn more by visiting acast.com slash advertise. Lainey asking for advice and the response you gave was just keep writing. It has become my mantra. Thank you. Do you remember that? Does her name start with a K? Yes. Yeah, I remember. Oh, that's nice. Nice of you. Last week, I went through a personally trying time, a crisis of

faith of sorts. I find myself unable to shake the feeling that maybe I wasn't cut out to be a writer, that perhaps I'm kidding myself and I'm not talented enough to have a career in a creative field. It was the darkest five days of my life because I couldn't imagine what I would do going forward. I have never suffered with mental illness. For that, I am lucky. And while careers in the arts are a series of challenges, it was the first time that I couldn't talk myself back into a determined state. I'm very fortunate to have had the same group of friends since I was eight years old, and when I reached out in my humiliated and fragile state, their immediate reaction of support and love made all the difference. But then there's the other guy.

Isn't there always? A friend I've had for over a decade. One I'd called my best friend, someone who was also creative and albeit had in a different industry. When he struggled with bouts of unemployment or self-doubt I was always there emotionally and financially both of which I gave freely expecting nothing in return our friendship was intellectually and creatively challenging something I've never found in anyone else while my career stalled his went through the roof over the past year he's come to me in tears over emotional problems and I took every 3 a.m phone call without hesitation he is healthier and happier than ever and richer much much richer a fact that he hasn't felt the need to hide in any way even flaunting events he's been at

for years that i can't afford last week when i reached out for help he didn't respond for over a day when he did it was to tell me that i'm lazy and don't try hard enough and that's why i'm not a writer i've since found out from one of my og girls that eight years ago when i tried to set him up he trash talked me to her and that's why she didn't want to be with him throwing away a long and creatively rewarding friendship seems like a huge loss but also fuck that guy am i being jealous because he's become so successful while i've struggled or is he just being an asshole Sincerely, J.K. The Before Harry Years.

Wow. I mean, from a writer's perspective, maybe we can hit it from that. I don't… Listen, her question was, am I being jealous? And my question back is, jealousy is a very natural human response. You know, you have worked hard. It hasn't worked out for you. and you've watched it work out for somebody else,

it's okay to feel a stab of like, fuck, you know, I wish it could work out for me. I don't think it's realistic when people walk around telling you like, don't be jealous, just love yourself, and don't worry about it. It's like, if it was that easy, why was Shakespeare writing about it in fucking 1600? Like, and why haven't in the 500 years since or whatever we figured it out? Like, it is very… Well, jealousy can be a great motivator, right? Correct.

It can be a great motivator and it can be, but eliminating it completely is so, so absurd that I'm not going to say to you, am I just a jealous person? Maybe you are. Maybe you are in this situation and I don't blame you. I would be too. You know, if I was like in the shits for a long time and, you know, things weren't going my way and I still, I was working hard and I just wasn't getting the breaks. Absolutely. I'd be a little bit bitter. You're entitled.

So if that was your emotion, and I'm not saying it was, if it was though, that's okay. You know, it's what you do with what that emotion is. As you just said, Sasha, like how, if it doesn't motivate you, you know, do you respond negatively to it? Like, does that jealousy make you a bitch? And are you fucking trash talking him everywhere, which I don't think you are, then no. It's okay in those moments to feel a little bit shitty and a little bit resentful at the world. Like, you know, to raise your fists up and yell at the sky a few times. I, you know,

I hope that we can all take permission to just feel that and not add on and pile on to our distress by shaming ourselves for feeling jealous. Yeah. And I think the other, the other couple of layers here is that, um, one, he's obviously not very supportive. I mean, for her, if she's in a dark place and he's like fucking buck up bitch is like lame. He's a cock, clearly. And B, now that he's become like Mr. Fame, you know, he thinks that I guess maybe she feels like he can't fucking ride with her. She's not like part of his upper echelon bullshit. So you have like these two things and then you're like, oh, and am I a bad person for feeling jealous? And, you know, he's super unsupportive. And, you know, he sounds kind of like he's, uh, I don't know. He thinks

that he's like a little bit, what I don't like is that he's not sharing, you know, like to me, one of the great things about success is that it can be shared. It can be spread around, you know, it can be with success comes influence. And he sounds like he's hoarding that, right? And so I feel insulted by his, you know, lack of sharing his success and lack of, you know, helping his other artistic friends. You know, we work in an artistic industry and a creative industry. You and I, Sasha, we do. And I feel very fortunate that for the most part, we're surrounded by people who share that success and, you know, use their, for the most part, who use their platforms to help their friends or at least like you know um shout out their

friends when they can and um but the creative industry is really competitive because so few make it right sure and so then you you feel that kind of um that strain in a relationship when someone's fucking soaring to the highest and you're like what the fuck like that happens all the time in our industry and I guess it also happens in yeah I think that like the key though in more and more in the creative industry is that especially with the like the rise of digital platforms is that you can start many people have started I mean in the old days of the creative industry when there's only one way to publish a book and there's only one way to make a tv show one way to make a movie and those roots were so concrete and narrow yeah that may have been the

case but these days where you can like go off and youtube it or you can digital publishing you can self-publish all of that I think that people have gotten more and more creative of doing their own thing and creating their own mini empires or there's many different paths that's right but there's still, there still ends up being, um, that competitive nature, like who can get on the bestseller list. Not everyone can get on the bestseller list. Right. And for most people who write a book, that's like your, that's the goal. Um, but I think the, the problem here with our reader is that, um, she's looking at a friendship that isn't what it used to look like. And that's so disappointing. Um, and so I don't know, I mean, I would, I wouldn't invite that into my life

very often. I wouldn't invite that kind of person who thinks their shit don't stink anymore because they've sold X amount of books. And I would definitely not keep around company who wasn't supportive of me, especially when I was in a really dark time in my life and doubting stuff and questioning stuff and feeling really insecure. The only reason why you should have friends is so that they fucking pump you up and help you out. And it doesn't matter how long you've had a friendship with this guy for. If he's showing his true cards right now and he's not stepping up and being a good friend, then I think you have every right to bow out.

Well, especially since she's got other friends who are ride or die for her and have told her that like, hey, eight years ago, this guy was already, you know. A D-bag. You know, betraying you. Yeah, that too, right? Like that, like if your friend's selling you out behind your back, then that's fucking.

To another friend. Yeah, that's lame. Yeah, that would, you know. So I don't think that, to me though, like she sounds pretty resolved. Like she's like, fuck that guy, which is good. She's already there. But she's looking inward now, which is what I love. And she's trying to analyze herself and thinking about how she can be better and understanding her own emotions.

And her question was like, am I being jealous or whatever? And my whole thing is, yes, it's okay if you are, if you are. And I can't answer that question for you. You're going to have to like answer it for yourself if you are jealous. But if that answer is yes, you are a little bit jealous, use it. Use it in a positive, healthy way. Like, use it to fuel you. Use it to motivate you.

Use it to write something. You know, pitch it as a column to a newspaper, your local, whatever. Yeah, put him on blast. Fucking write a book about him. Yeah. No, but that is true. Like, that is what I think, you know, you motivated her the first time she was unsure. And this is the second kind of, you know, second push of motivation, which is like, yeah, like people are going to succeed.

People are going to be better at you, be better at things than you. And that should just serve as motivation. Like keep pushing yourself. Don't find that, like don't find other people's success as defeat. No. And what disappoints me about him, though, is that you can compete and still maintain friendship. Oh, yeah. I mean you and Duanna have that kind of

Sure I remember what was it What were you saying I felt like Oh you were talking about it I think on the social Where you were like When Duanna's succeeding

You're like I want some of that But like in the healthiest way Yeah I'm her biggest fan And I'm the first to fucking Like shout her out And be like Look what happened to her

The show runner for the affair Things that Duanna's recaps for the show Are the best she's ever read Do you know what a compliment that is Oh right And that was what you were saying you were saying that you were like i want that yeah but do you know what a compliment that is so in the space where like she was being shouted out by the showrunner of the affair for writing

the best recaps for one of the best shows on tv that's a big hat tip i was like yes because duanna's awesome and writes amazing and then you know part of me that little part was a little jealous and like well what can i write where somebody else can be like those recaps are the best for me like you know and then but i'm not gonna take it out on duanna i'm gonna be like okay what can i write yeah you up your game what disappoints me about this guy is that he you know didn't doesn't appreciate that creative competition can fuel both people and lead to a very fulfilling friendship maybe one that even grows stronger and stronger and more and more empowering like his he for some reason he got it into his head that his success was belong to him

alone and number one he couldn't share it number two it it made him step on her do you know what i mean yeah like when you found the key and things have happened for you and you don't turn around and be like hey best friend yeah i figured it out i know the answer let me tell it to you and let's use the answer together so both of us can step up that is like a first class choice motherfucker Yes, absolutely. But even if he wasn't willing to do that, at the very least, fucking pick up your friend when she's down. You know, like, you don't have to unlock that key to be like,

let me tell you all the secrets of how to be a successful novelist. Fuck that. Fine, great. That's a cherry on top of a friendship. Great. But at the very least, if she's, like, down in the dumps and he's like, bitch, get up and, like, work harder. You're a shitty – that's why you're a shitty writer.

Then, like, I don't know. Anyway, own your jealousy and use it. Do we have a Drake? Well, yeah, you better look that shit up. You fucking promised everyone that we were going to Drake this shit up. Okay, hang on. We'll pause this while I look. Drake's Headlines is a great, one of my favorite songs.

But with Drake and Headlines in the chorus, like he says, they know, they know, they know. And that's about his boys, the people who he started from the bottom with. Um, and what his boys know is that since he hit it big, they're always going to be a family and he's going to pay for shit. He's going to bring everybody over. He's going to bring everybody up. They're all going to rule together because they started together. Um, but it's really interesting, like headline, headlines opens with, I might be too strung

out on compliments, overdosed on confidence, started not to give a fuck and stopped fearing the consequence. Like, you know, he's dealing with fame again. you know he sings a lot about having to deal with fame and then what he realizes is um although it gets crazy with fame and it warps you he's always got this crew of people who knew him from the beginning and he'll take them wherever he goes as high as he goes and they'll know they know they know they know you know Drizzy got the money so Drizzy gonna pay it those my brothers I ain't even gonna say it that's just something they know right that bitch that fucking motherfucker friend

of hers is not buying into the Drake way. But the good thing though is she has those homeboys in her life. Those are the people she's had for life. So she has OG friends which is great and thank you Drake. And when she hits it

and we hope she will. She'll take us somewhere. She'll take us somewhere and she'll take those, the good ones. Yeah. Leave the shit behind. Thank you Drake for your lyrical inspiration today. Yeah. That's it for today. Keep your questions coming

to Sasha at LaineyGossip.com. Oh, did we check our ranking this week? Well, fuck, Yasik fucked me and told me that we were 17 so I wrote about 17 and he was like,

meh, no, we're 22 and I think we've actually gone down. But whatever. So we've gone down or we were always 22 to begin with? I think we were always 22

to begin with. We weren't 17. Okay, we can aim for 17 and we can be jealous of the person who's at 20. Yes. We will aim for 17. Yeah, we will aim for 17.

Anyway, thank you for listening to us on iTunes. and however you listen to us and don't forget to leave comments and rate us. Until next time. Bye.

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