What's Your Drama - Sasha Answers: How Much is Not Enough, Out with Roomie, and Parental Bikini Exposure!

Episode Date: July 19, 2016

Welcome back to the Sasha Answers podcast! This is episode 22! Whoah. Thanks for the continued support and hope you love them as much as we love doing them for you!On today's show: how many times to do it, when's the best time to kick your roommate out, and if there's ever an appropriate time to bust out a bikini with the bf's parents. And as promised by Lainey, she makes me talk about my encounter with my future boss Gwyneth Paltrow.Thank you for all the support and please keep sending us your questions to me at [e-mail]. Check us out on iTunes and very shortly on Google Play to subscribe and leave your and feedback, and visit www.laineygossip.com for all your entertainment updates.Sasha xx  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Do you keep hearing podcast ads, like this one for example, but always wonder how you actually get involved with them for your own brand or organization? Well, it's easier than you think. We're Acast, and we give you the platform to do it all yourself. Browse thousands of popular podcasts, choose the shows that match your perfect audience, set your budget, and launch. And if you want a hand, our podcast specialists are there to help you launch with confidence. This is podcast advertising without barriers. Get started at acast.com slash advertise. Hi, this is Lainey, and welcome to the Lainey Gossip Podcast for Sasha Answers.

Hi. How's it going? We're just not going to fuck around. I know you're going to ask me. No, no. I don't even care how you are. I'm just going to ask you. Okay, so just let me preface this by saying Gwyneth Paltrow was in Toronto.

Yes, yesterday, which was Thursday. Which was last Thursday. And she was there. She was at Holt Ranfrew, which for our American and other international listeners is kind of like what? The Neiman Marcus of Canada? No, like what's the higher end one? Neiman Marcus is pretty high. And then there's Bergdorf.

I'm thinking more Bergdorf. Okay, so the Bergdorfs, I guess, of Canada to promote her juice beauty line. Yes, which by the way, I will be testing the products and writing about them. And so far, oh my God, you guys are going to be so excited because this shit is the real deal. Fuck off. Like shit. I'm not even up Gwyneth's ass.

I'm just telling you the products are great. Okay. So far. So far. You kind of are up her ass because your fucking email to me after you met her and talked to her was OMG, OMG, OMG, I have to tell you everything. Which then you proceeded to then like clam up. Let me just tell you all what happened.

She goes to this event. I'm waiting for her to email me. Finally, she emails me. OMG, OMG, OMG, I have to tell you everything. I email five seconds later. OMG, tell me everything. You write me back like, it was great. Oh, fuck you.

Thanks, bitch. I was still in the throes of it. I was, like, watching her do a speech after I interviewed her. Like, there was no time for me to do a debrief. Okay. But I will say, so I'm not, like, I have always been, like, meh about Gwyneth. Like, she is beautiful. She's talented.

She's super rich. Whatever. I've never had a hard-on like you have had a hard-on for her. Okay, but can you appreciate why she's, like, hilariously amazing in her… Now I busted a major erection for her. I think she is so… You know what? Beyond anything, I was just like, she was really nice.

Oh, God. And like, I kind of wanted to hang with her. When I interviewed her, she was pretty nice too. Although she wouldn't shake my hand because, quote, she had just gotten a manicure. Yeah. And remember, I think you said something like, oh, I'm so excited to meet you. I'm fangirling you. She was like, just picture me on the toilet.

Did she say something like that? She said that. So she's like, you know, is really quite a girl's girl in that way. I don't know. I just, I like, she was cool. Anyways, walked in, she was wearing this beautiful, um, uh, like blush pink head to toe Michael Kors outfit. Okay.

Um, she had like, like these Cartier bangles that were just kind of like twinging along every time she'd like talk with her hands. Her hair was perfectly done. So I plunked next to her so I could just like breathe in the, I just wanted all of my, all of the senses to be going. Yeah. I couldn't smell anything. Um, but like her face, I know that you've talked about her Botoxing before.

She doesn't Botox because there is like for sure movement. Okay. She's aging nicely. I actually haven't said that she Botoxed. I think she said she has tried it. I actually don't think that she looks overdone. In fact, I mean, for her age and how much sun she gets, she… She looks great.

Yeah. She's striking. She's striking. She is striking. Yeah. And tall as fuck. Thankfully, she never stood up because I was thinking, what the fuck was I going to wear before?

And I was like, fuck it. I'm throwing in the fucking white flip. Like I'm waving the white flag because really, how could I, nothing in my wardrobe could compare to anything she wore. And so that was what I was taking note of. I was like, oh my God, from head to toe, like whatever has gone in today is probably like at least three or four months of my mortgage payment. Just in that one sitting of what she had on, I could not afford.

I could not afford anything of Gwyneth. Anyways, she was really awesome. We, I asked her some, I think the funniest questions that I could, you know, asking about beauty and she had like a really good giggle for one of my um questions okay this is what i mean like this is what i mean can you find this interesting right um other than she giggled and like i'm sitting right here i'm no one okay can you just tell me what were some of the questions you asked for the benefit of people who are listening they all had to be about juice beauty so okay the question the one question that she thought was really hilarious was i just said to

her like my mother you and oprah like whatever you do i i will do um and so she thought that was hilarious and then I was like you know how do you feel like wielding so much power and I did some sort of thing where like I tossed a piece of paper at her I was like I like that like buy it like I was just pretending to be her and her power she thought that was very funny which made me feel very good about myself which is so fucking demented you won life like in that moment you're like I made I was like check mark yes okay um and it wasn't a fake laugh because in the end of the interview as um I was walking out the door she was like I'm gonna love you forever for that But she was looking, I wish that she was looking at me in my eyes because I was like, then

we could have had that moment. But really it was just sort of, you know, when you're like, I love you, like you two are a friend, you don't really love them. And she was like looking down at her phone. But just that I might have sparked a brain cell in her to like me for just that one moment was like enough for a really long time. Okay. I told Corey this and he was like, you're the biggest loser.

I was like, okay, fair. So, okay. So was she kind in her responses? Yes. Did she look you in the eye during the interview? Yes. Okay. And she is a business woman.

Right. Like she is the real deal. She was there to do her job and she did it beautifully. And she did it beautifully. Yeah. Because as you and I both know, we talk to people who are supposed to be there doing their job all the time. And they can't do it.

They can't do it. They don't want to do it. They're fucking assholes. No. She was not an asshole. And surprisingly, her personal publicist was there for every interview somehow, and she wasn't in the room. Okay.

So I don't know if that would have, I don't know if that would have strayed the interview in any different way, but like I kept all my questions above board. Anyways, she was just fucking really nice. She was really fucking nice, and she, yeah, I was like, how do I, I just need to work for her, I felt, after this. And you looked at the face, and the face looks natural. Face looks natural. face looks beautiful and actually even all she's really good bone structure yeah uh and uh and you

know it was like a really hot fucking day and then i read that was part of the realization of how like rich like you almost don't sweat in those when you're so rich you just don't sweat or something because it was fucking hotter than haiti that day and it was like it was like 40 degrees with humidity and she wasn't like everyone was like wearing no clothes she had a high turtleneck pants long sleeves long sleeves and like not not a fucking greasy face or anything that blouse that michael kors blush pink that you're talking about was pretty sheer very sheer so can you see like you know when we wear a sheer top you can see sweat or bra outline nothing it just was a very seamlessly perfect that was what was so strange that's what kills me about some people like

you know i can do my best to put on that top and you'll still be able to see fucking a little like bat wing or what what do you call the shit that's in between your um your fucking under armpit and your tit uh pit fat which you know what i mean like that gross stuff yeah or even like bra lines none of that right or even when you're like bra fold folds over your nipple you're not like you have to kind of pull your bra flat none of that nothing everything was in place you promised me you microscopically looked at her and I only had the side view right because she was sitting right next to me so I wasn't full frontal and even her pants like there wasn't a crease on her pants like it was just very I don't I didn't know how it happened what about her feet those were those

were nice shoes what were those um I don't know actually but I did look at those um and she has like big feet because she's tall yeah like everything's proportionate I have no bad things to say i don't love her um flat ironing hair that would be oh that's your okay yeah can i just say like one thing she her one thing is that she doesn't have a great hair and yet she's never worn extensions she doesn't have great hair i'm yeah there's well i'm nitpicking here but i mean like whatever i she's not a totally perfect human being but she's close to it she's close to it okay fine so you now see my obsession with Gwyneth Paltrow yes and how hilariously but also hilariously privileged she is so privileged yeah actually what was so great about in the interview I asked

her about um Apple she named one of the lip colors um after Apple yeah and so I asked her about that and she was like I'm paraphrasing but she was she basically was like listen Apple has a weird life full stop she was like right she likes her lip color but like no she was basically saying that no 12-year-old or however 14-year-old should have their own fucking lip color right so it was she knows she does know the privilege yeah whether or not her kids do who the fuck cares or cares or whether or not she cares i mean she seems cognizant of the fact that she is better than us okay fine i'm more satisfied than i was with you yesterday when you were withholding i know i called you a withholding dick yeah it was emotionally abusive what you were saying i was not emotionally

abusing you uh i'm just saying that after you meet someone and she says to you um she'll love you forever i know that you are writing to me three word answers and basically ignoring me that is being a withholding day and i'll gossip hoarder but i'm glad that we were able to get this through and that other people can enjoy it okay good um should we get to our questions please okay hi sasha i was wondering how often couples have sex sorry i was wondering how often should couples have sex. I have been with my boyfriend, now fiance, for five years. I've been noticing how our sex life has changed since we first started dating to now. I remember in the beginning of our relationship, we used to have sex twice in one day, but I feel those days are long gone.

I was just over at his place the other day from Friday night until Monday, and we only had sex once. Sex with him is still great and enjoyable, but to be honest, it was enough for me doing it the one time the weekend was this normal how often should we be doing it am I losing my mojo at only 27 years old thanks well I mean you're talking to somebody who's been married 15 years in November and Yasik and I have known each other 17 years no wait 2001 is when we met and wait 2000 is when we met sorry and 2001 is when we got married so we've known each other 16 years and it'll be going on 17 yeah so forever for a long time yes um i get it like at the beginning of the relationship we'd fucking pull over and like we'd have to fuck we couldn't even

make it 20 minutes from wherever we were to home yeah and we'd have to pull over and like and yeah do it like in in daylight it was an afternoon that one time we drove back from fucking squamish i think to vancouver which is like a one-hour ride you need to pull over where the like yeah we pulled over that's a good pizza yeah i feel like i don't know if we did it that time i think maybe i like gave him a hand job but like whatever it was hardcore i think that one day we did it five times six times and that was like ongoing for i think six months and then i thought you were gonna say six years i was gonna throw up and you're good okay yeah and then yeah it tapers off but the sex is still good right so i don't know what you're saying yeah so if i were to compare

this reader to me i would if she's asking if that's normal i would say yes it's normal yeah i would say it's normal and this is coming like and i think i think we've talked about this before just the ebb and flow of that sort of stuff like we have this new dog cory and i and i literally haven't even given my husband a handshake in a few months like it's been like that has how little contact we have had um and so I've been like oh Jesus Christ like I don't even remember what your body looks like anyway so like this reader yes you are preaching to the motherfucking choir because I yeah like you go through dry spells and you get busy and um sometimes you're uninterested right And I think once a week, fuck, that's great.

If you've known someone for five years and you're fucking doing that shit once a week, I think that's actually like above average. Once a weekend seems completely fine to me. That feels like fair game. Listen, every relationship has its own rhythm of sex and sexual activity. So I'm not going to prescribe that my frequency of sex should be everybody's. Some people need it. Some people need the standard three to four times a week.

Some people can make do with three to four times a month. Some people can make do with three to four times a year. I think, though, that if you're feeling good, and she sounds like she's very happy because she's now engaged to him, if you're feeling like you're really good and sex is still enjoyable and you are still connecting in different ways other than physical intimacy, you're talking. If the relationship is good. Yeah, you're laughing, then do not, I mean, at 27, I think age doesn't make a difference

because the assumption that the younger you are, the more sex you have is actually not true. Right, they say in your 40s or something, right? Your late 30s is when women get their rocks off more. Well, I mean, you've read the studies and you've read the articles, I'm sure, about old people and how like sex in nursing homes is rampant right now. I think that there is, like, there's more HIV and, like, STDs in the, like, elderly community because they're fucking all the time. They're fucking all the fucking time. So, I mean, to assume that just because you're, like, to assume that just because you're 27 years old and that that means that you should be taking the D fucking every six hours, you know, it's not, like, a diet.

It's not small meals. Like, do you know what I mean? It is just when the time is right. It is when you're feeling each other. And again, if you're connecting in other ways, you're good. Yeah, I agree. Yeah. As long as the relationship doesn't feel fractured or disconnected, then you're good.

Don't get too heady about it. Can I just say though that although the regular like work week and rhythm of a schedule is one thing and that's also why people don't have sex. You work, you're carrying around a lot of stress. you know, you're tired. That's okay too. Don't beat yourself up for not scheduling it in among all the other priorities that you have. Right. Yes. But I find that when Yask and I go on holiday, oh my God, that's when we go back to where we were at the beginning of our relationship. Cause like I'm not in the studio anymore. I'm not whatever. And for some reason the heat gets him

like oh god i don't need the details of the heat whenever he's really like hot in a hot place he is so fucking horny okay but it's really hot in toronto right now it's different like when he's on holiday and he's in a tropical place and he's playing golf every day and we're in a hotel he is like fucking like it is on like time once a day minimum right the entire vacation doesn't that speak to like i mean that is what we should be doing we're so much better happier people when We're not working. I'm pretty happy when I work. Well, I really like vacations and I like not doing much.

And I think the majority of people would agree. So yes, to that, if she wants to spark a little, ignite a little bit of love in the sack, then yeah, book a little weekend away, book a little week away. And that will recharge your juices for sure. But otherwise you're totally normal. Keep doing your once a weekend thing.

Don't stress it. And think of me in 2017. I still haven't touched my husband. do you keep hearing podcast ads like this one for example but always wonder how you actually get involved with them for your own brand or organization well it's easier than you think we're a cast and we give you the platform to do it all yourself browse thousands of popular podcasts choose the shows that match your perfect audience set your budget and launch and if you want a hand our podcast specialists are there to help you launch with confidence this is podcast

advertising without barriers get started at acast.com slash advertise okay next hi sasha hoping you can give me some insight into my issue my roommate and i who are also best friends have been living together for nearly two years i love living with her and we have a great time together. Recently, she had an opportunity to move away for a job. Her interviews went really well, and we all thought she would get the job. Because of this, my boyfriend and I began talking seriously about him moving in when if she got the job. We've been together for three years now and had been throwing the idea around, but hadn't really been serious about it until now. Needless to say, unfortunately, my roommate did not get the job. While I'm glad she

won't be moving across the country, my boyfriend and I have still decided that we do want to live together and would like it to happen by the end of the summer at the latest. So my question is, how do I tell my best friend that I don't want to live with her anymore? Some other issues that have recently arisen are, she also quit her job and doesn't have another one lined up. This has never been an issue. It's happened before and she's always had enough saved up to manage and find new employment really quickly. But I have a feeling it's going to be a little tougher this time. She's also leaving for a pre-unemployment plan trip to Thailand soon. Part two of the question, when do I tell her? Before her trip to Thailand, so she has this hanging over her head

her whole time or her whole trip, or when she comes back from her trip broke and unemployed and has to deal with the possibility of being on her own. I really don't want to wait much longer to tell her because she has a right to know what my life plans are, especially because they affect her. And the last thing I want to do or will do is leave her in a tight spot. But I also want to get my life with my boyfriend started. What do I do? This is a great life, like where you are in your life question and different phases and when you transition from one phase to the other. And how also to be honest, how to be honest with where you're at in your life and how to share that honesty with the people that you care about.

yeah um this was i mean i feel like you've been there i me personally i never i've never been i've never had a roommate in post-university life so i have many exactly so i i'd love to hear your insight on this i don't think i've ever experienced anything like this where someone moves out to be with their boyfriend i have to think about that but i don't think so um but i think when you live with people you know it's not going to be forever you know like you you have eyes you can see that you know her roommate obviously knows that she's serious with her boyfriend and that's going to come at some point so it shouldn't be some big ass fucking surprise um and will there be hurt feelings probably I mean it's sad to hear that you're like reject quote-unquote rejected

um it's sad to know that like the friendship of living together will no longer be like that's was sometimes hard to digest. But to our reader, I think that honesty is the best policy. And I think because she feels this way now, she owes it to her friend to tell her now. It might not seem ideal to tell her before her trip, but maybe she'll like, she'd want that information because she'd extend her trip in Thailand for longer, or it actually does give her more time to figure out what she wants to do. I agree. Like, I mean, it doesn't sound like there's any doubt in our reader's mind that she's ready to take this relationship with her boyfriend to the next level which also is a good phase of transition into a different era chapter of your life

and I agree that it wouldn't surprise it shouldn't surprise the best friend roommate and I also agree that she should tell her before the trip to Thailand because I immediately started having visions for the roommate, like she could do her own fucking whatever, eat, pray. I mean, I don't subscribe to, I didn't, listen, the eat, pray, love thing isn't my thing. But at the same time, your roommate is in transition too. It's not just you who is in transition. Your roommate obviously has ended one place of employment or ended her time at one place of employment. she is transitioning professionally um she will also be transitioning personally because her living arrangements will be changing so for her this is also a new chapter and there's no better

way sometimes to get to a new chapter to get to a new chapter than to go away get some perspective yeah get some perspective go to a foreign country i don't know think and look at the ocean i mean So whatever people do in movie montages. Yes. Right? Yeah. I think that that's going to be good for her to be in that space where she's out there having a good time and in a head space where she can reflect on what am I going home to?

What do I want to go home to? How do I make it happen? You know, maybe the ocean can tell her or help her or the waves or the wind or whatever. I love that you're going this route. Yes. Right? Help her make a list. Of course.

and edit, edit all the things that she wants. So I think that this is, it can be a very, it can be a really exciting thing. You can turn it into an exciting, I don't know, life turn. And I think also to our reader, let her know that you're not, when she gets back, you're not going to be moved out. That you'll make sure that there are certain things in place

that, you know, she is back. She has a couple of months, at least two or three months before you move out or that you'll wait until she gets a job before you move out so that she's stable. So those are nice things to kind of help her along so that she's not coming back and is totally fucked. Yeah, because she said she was willing to do that

and wouldn't leave her in a lurch, right? So, I mean, yeah, those are definitely kind offers and options. I mean, I don't want our reader to put her own life and her own plans on hold indefinitely. But one or two months, yeah, I think that's totally reasonable. I think it's fair. But yes, do tell her, I think, before she leaves for Thailand. Yeah.

I think that's the fair thing to do. Yeah. All right. Moving on. Okay. So this is a very short question. Okay. But it's really important and really interesting.

Hi, Sasha. Where do you stand on bikini wearing around boyfriend's very traditional parents? I love this. Need to know ASAP. So obviously there's a trip planned or, I don't know, an invitation. maybe to go up to the cottage or the summer home or even maybe just to the house where they have a pool. Clearly, an invitation has been extended.

An event has been set up where a pool or a beach or some situation where you have to take off your clothes and put on your swimwear. Oh, that actually makes me itchy. Okay. Have you gone away with Yassik's family ever before? I don't think we've gone away, but we have gone to the beach together. Here's the thing, though. I cannot relate specifically to this reader because my husband's parents are not traditional

in that sense. They're Euro. Okay. So oftentimes, correct. Really? Oftentimes, my father-in-law wears less than me, meaning that he prefers the Speedo. Right. And I'm talking the Euro Speedo, where like the Polish jewels are fully on display.

Wow. And his mother, I've seen pictures of his mother. I know she is bikini. Like, she has a two-piece. Your mom still rocks a bikini, Essek? Yeah, okay. So, clearly, when I've seen the evidence of the fact that they're very Eastern European, they're very liberal about beach attire, I wouldn't…

They're not liberal about other things. Can I just clarify? Okay, right. But they are liberal about beach attire. I wouldn't have had this issue. Like, I'm seeing my mother-in-law in a fucking bikini and all of my father-in-law's business and the shape of it and whatnot. I'm perfectly okay wearing a fucking two-piece. So, that said, I think I'm lucky because, you know, I…

It wouldn't be a thing for you. But I get it because I do think that I may be the exception or in the minority where, you know, you would feel like that you go over to your, like, in-laws and your father-in-law is like, you know, Fabio, right? That's amazing. I am trying to think. I am pretty shy anyways about that sort of stuff. I know that, so I went to Florida a couple of years ago with my in-laws and Corey's father is old.

He's like 90, like he's so rad, but he's 90, right? So it's like, I don't really want to be showing my shit off to a nine-year-old. Like end of story. Like that doesn't go, that doesn't, that's not anything I want to do. anyways and Corey's mom is like so rad they're both so rad Corey's mom uh like she's like whatever she wears a full piece she's not rocking a bikini like Yassic's mom right um I remember we were in Florida and so I bought this bikini while we were there and um it was really hoey it was really hoey and I was like fuck I can't wear this like I liked it on the rack I bought it and I

thought I was gonna wear it I was like my ass is hanging out of it there's no way that I would feel comfortable so I don't think our reader should go and like buy a full piece if that's not her jam but like wear the bikini and then as soon as you're about to get up like that's what I would do as soon as I would get up from the beach I would like fucking throw on my shorts or I'd wrap a towel around me so that I wasn't like blatantly stomping around with my tits hanging yeah you know so I think there's ways to go about it um but yeah if she's if she doesn't give a fuck and she really just doesn't want to feel uncomfortable comfortable or make anyone else uncomfortable then I mean full pieces are really in right now there's some really beautiful ones

out there so it's not like you would have to like um it's all you would have to sacrifice style because there are so many great things out there yeah um in the full piece world yeah i wish we had more information like i do wish i do think that um the beach and at a resort is a little different from like going to their backyard and there's a pool there yeah okay meaning if you're going to their house, go play by their rules. Is that what you're saying? Yeah. I do think that they're a full body sweatsuit. Or no, here's what it is. If you're at a resort, there are so many other people at the resort. It's the norm. Yeah. It's the norm. So if there are other people on the beach and you know it's a beach, there are like, what, 150, 200, 500 other guests of the

resort and some of them are going to be wearing those little triangles that just cover the nip. you know, and string, just literally string, then, you know, I don't think that you're standing out as much to offend your traditional possible in-laws, right? Boyfriends, parents. But then if you're just invited to the cottage or the backyard and there's a pool, there's not like a hundred other people to look at where you can blend in into the bikini situation. And so if you are the only one to show up in the triangle nip cover, that becomes like more of a standout. Yes.

So there are the happy mediums, right? There are happy mediums with the full piece. There are happy mediums with that 70s pinup bather of two pieces. There's also sarongs that you can kind of wrap yourself in for the majority of the day. There's ways to get around it. Also, there's a part of me that's like, fuck it, you know, wear your goddamn bikini, like whatnot. And at the end of the day, you did make a point of saying that they're very traditional.

And you also pragmatically want to avoid awkwardness. So if it is a pool situation and there's only 10 people there and you're the youngest one or you're like, you know, the hottest one or whatever, then maybe one of those sport bikinis. Yeah. You know, like Alexander Wang's sports bikinis, right? Yeah. Where it almost looks like a sports bra on top and then like still sexy on the bottom,

but more athletic style. Yeah. I think that could be a happy medium too. Yeah. So you're still getting the bikini. You're still getting your stomach tanned because you want, I'm assuming that there's like a tan action situation going on here. So you're still getting your stomach and your back tan.

You still get like full leg tan. You just aren't, you know, almost, yeah, almost popping out of that triangle. Yeah. I agree. I agree. Yeah. There's lots of, a plethora of shopping options for you out there. I feel like we've thought through all the, yeah.

So resort, one thing, private pool backyard, one thing, full body coverage, another thing. Yeah, I think we've covered, sarong. If I wasn't going away on vacation tomorrow, I would help you and find some bathing suits for you. So, too bad you're on your own. Anyway, good luck. Thanks everyone for writing in. You're welcome to continue picturing my Polish father-in-law and his feto.

His dick out. That comes with its own downside, by the way. Which is what? I don't, like, I can't unsee that, Sasha. Yeah, but I don't think you'd be one of those people that would really find that disturbing. I feel like you'd find that quite funny. I'm sorry. It's funny, but I'm sorry.

It is like, oh, hi. He's really, Jacek is saying right now that he's in pretty good shape for a 75-year-old. But, like, you know, I haven't even seen Jacek in one of those. Right. So, to see your own father-in-law. Well, now you see your future. Anyway. You see the future.

Yeah, thanks everybody for listening, and you can check us on iTunes. Please leave reviews and comments and just a programming notice. We're taking a week off, so there will be no podcast next week, but we will be back the week after. So keep your questions coming to me at Sasha at LadyGossip.com. Bye. Bye. We'll be right back.

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