What's Your Drama - Sasha Answers: It Ain't Cause He's Allergic to your Cat!

Episode Date: October 25, 2016

Welcome Back!On today's podcast the theme is to stand-up for you damn self.We're slinging advice on how to stand-up when you're drowning in a friend's bad mistakes, how to stand-up when you're in a sh-t relationship, and how to stand up to someone who's forcing you to get a tattoo. Ok, admittedly I don't know if we really helped our writer on that last question, but you'll hear how I gently forced my husband to get tattoos (PLURAL) for me.Keep your questions coming to me at [e-mail] and as always, check us out on iTunes and on Google Play to subscribe and leave your feedback, and visit www.laineygossip.com for all your entertainment updates.S.xx  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hi, this is Lainey and welcome to the Lainey Gossip Podcast for Sasha Answers. And Sasha, I was thinking about you today because, well, I think about you every day. Oh. But especially… Do you really? I do. Oh. You think nice things about me?

Like, not in a creepy way, like, fuck that Sasha. Right. But, you know… Oh, Sasha's a friend. Oh, Sasha's my friend. I love her. What is she doing? or, you know, how come she walked by me in the bathroom and seemed so spacey?

Can I tell you? Well, A, why I look so spacey is I don't ever wear my glasses anymore at work. So I'm just like blind. I'm in like a blind cloud all the time. But I also, I've said this to you before. Whenever I see you at work, you're like not, like you don't smile at work. Has anyone ever told you that? I don't really smile that much.

Yes, you do. No, you do. That's not true. Jacek says, well, he doesn't have a microphone, but he says that I turn away all our neighbors. Like I just don't really, I smile with my friends. Yeah, but I'm saying I'm your friend and I see you and you actually don't smile at me at work. There are some people who are just like in work mode. I just, I always am like, oh, I don't know if she's like happy today.

I'm just in work mode. Okay. Okay. But anyway. So you thought about me. I thought about you because right now, every single day, I am seeing like a new article on Mysticore. and mysticore is becoming you know a thing where people are like well first of all mysticore is really just new age just repurposed but mysticore has been it is the new norm core or maybe in five

minutes it'll be old i don't know but you are mysticore oh i don't want to say i hate that i you know i think that's oh it just makes me so sad that this is becoming a trend um and because a lot of it is so faux, right? Like you're seeing so many people just like, you know, on their Instagram account, not that I'm on Instagram, but I know that people take pictures of like their crystals. Okay, but what's legit mysticore? Okay, sure, mysticore is a thing.

I just wish that it came from like a more pure place. And look, you always are like, oh, you pray to your candles. I don't fucking pray to my candles. I have fucking candles. I have some fucking crystals because they're pretty and like I'm hoping that they'll somehow vibrate into me. But I think that it's, yeah, like it's a total trend right now. I just wish that it was a little bit more legit.

And as I've told you in like the last two years of my weirdness, I've seen like a lot of crazy shamans. I have seen a lot of people who like just stare in my eyes and want me to cry, all that kind of stuff. And I love it. I fucking love wiggy shit so much, mostly because it makes me laugh. but um like I went to a shaman and he was also an interior decorator and it was like this really weird thing where I walked into his house and I uh I was like oh like your houses are so nice and

he gave me a card as well for his interior decorating services it was like so you have this sort of dichotomy working with people and it's it's fucking lame because a lot of them are total bullshitters. But the real ones, there are real ones out there. There are real ones out there. My question to you is why does someone have to be one thing? Like can't someone be a shaman and an interior decorator? I guess in theory they can.

But when I'm going for like some serious healing, I don't want them to also like try to sell me a couch. Like I just, you know, you want someone… I want a fucking real shaman. And every time I go to these things, like I think they're the real deal and then they're not. I've gone to a couple of fucking legit people. Wait, did the interior decorating shaman try and sell you some paint or some whatever?

He was trying to sell me on some services. Oh, that's shady. Yeah, it was weird. But I have gone to some really great people that are the real deal because you want the people who are like giving you Reiki or giving you a healing fucking chanting shit to make that their life. Like that should be your livelihood. Okay.

You should be so dedicated. Like, do you, have you been to those, what do you call those? Yes. Yes. Okay, so. Okay, that one was weird. The first one I went to was. How do you not lose it?

Because you know me, I. You would kill yourself. You would kill yourself. Like, I can't even, there are some yoga classes in Vancouver where before you start the yoga, you have to go around saying hi to people and like shake hands. And that was like. Yeah. I have almost walked out the door.

The only reasons I, like, the only reason I stay is because Fiona's there and she's like, fuck, I want to stay. And I stay. But, like, that is the surest way to turn me off or to make me laugh. Right. And I laugh a lot internally. Okay. Right?

So, because I feel like I'm one of those normal hippie people, right? Like, I want wiggy shit, but I'm also, like, I can call people's bluff as well. But in those sort of sweat lodges, you're not supposed to meet and greet. Like, it's all about you, right? You're not really supposed to be, like, socializing. Right. But this one sweat lodge I went to, oh my God, I went last Christmas and I was so excited and we like showed up in some like suburb and in the person's backyard, he had created this sweat lodge. And it was, anyways, it didn't work for me. It was really, because I don't know,

again, when you're doing something authentic like that, you should be driving a buttload of hours. you should be, like, in nature, not in someone's backyard. Okay. This is where I say, but it's not realistic for a lot of people to be able to drive out into nature, so how can you incorporate the sweat lodging… I don't think you can sweat lodge in someone's backyard. So there are certain things that you have to put in the effort to go to. Right, right.

Like, not everything can be Ubered to you. Right? Yeah. And that's part of it too, right? So this whole trend, it's like there has to be some sort of legitimacy to it. Like the journey is part of the process. Sure. Sure.

Sure. But anyways, there's been a lot of trial and error. Yeah. So that's why I've been thinking about you is because there's a whole Mysticore movement, I guess. And as you said, people Instagramming it and… And it's not that far off from the stuff that you believe in too, right? You bought the house that we're in right now because your mom and you are so dedicated

to feng shui or feng shui, that you bought this house because of that, 100%. So mysticism is part of your life too, right? Oh, for sure. Give me some examples. You're right in that mysticism… I think for me or for us, it's not group mysticism. I couldn't go to… There is no such thing, I don't think, as like a feng shui prayer circle.

Right, right. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? And also with the feng shui, there are scammers too, just as you said. My mother is constantly like, this feng shui master is bad or this one's better than the other. She said that they're constantly… And she also says that it's constantly a push and pull because there are some super

legit feng shui masters who are now selling their… You know, they publish. Yeah. So they'll like do an almanac. Like, there's a feng shui almanac that my mother waits for every year to, like, find our readings, and she has been really conflicted because as soon as one becomes too popular and starts making too much money, she goes off of them because, in theory, monetizing the feng shui can…

Be bad feng shui. Be bad feng shui or compromise the accuracy of the reading. So you're right. I can see that aspect of it. And yet, I think feng shui, too, is a little bit misunderstood in that you don't need, you shouldn't need to spend money for good feng shui. It's moving a mirror around. It's getting a plant and putting it in a corner of a room.

It's maybe not buying a car this year. Maybe not investing because it's not going to be good luck. Right. So there's never really a super sacrifice that you have to make. I mean, Jacek would consider some of the shit that we have to do a sacrifice in that like he's like, what? Why can't we get a car this year? Or what?

Why can't we? But that's not really a sacrifice. Not buying a new car isn't a sacrifice. He's like, do I sound stupid? I made him sound like a frat dude and he doesn't sound like that at all. In fact, he's very articulate. But there's parallels to that, right? Like you run your life by some kind of frilly nilly thing that someone told you to, right?

The same way as like… Oh, shit. Yeah. Yeah. Same reason why people fucking howl at moons and fucking pray at candles, right? There are times when we've gone out maybe or we've intended to do something and then the number was… I knew that the number was bad luck or some directional thing that was functioning and

I've turned around and been like not doing that anymore. Best. what's amazing too is Jacek at the beginning was like I'm just a Polish white guy

I and now he's into it right he's I don't know if he's into it but he believes more than he used to

and he definitely doesn't protest right in that way yeah but his his parents don't understand

like they're Polish Catholic and they're like what the fuck and it's a little bit confusing yeah so fair enough should we get started

yes do okay Mr. Kors out there. Here are the questions. Here's the first one. Hi, Sasha and Lainey. My best friend has been involved in a relationship with a guy for the past four years. The relationship

started as a work relationship, but then grew into lots of texting, having lunch, etc. At this time, they were both in long-term relationships with other people. Girlfriend, boyfriend. Flash forward six months into this flirtatious friendship, and my friend

has ended her long-term relationship in the hopes that things will happen with Michael. The long-term boyfriend she had was never going to work anyway, but Michael entering the picture made her realize she needed more to move on because she was feeling things she never felt for the boyfriend. Several months after she broke up with her boyfriend, Michael proposed to his girlfriend, call her Amy, all the while they had continued this texting, talking, secretly meeting for lunch thing. Wait a minute, I'm confused.

So the guy that she left her boyfriend for ended up marrying someone else. Proposing to somebody else. Yes. Okay. He got married and even invited my friend to the wedding. What the fuck is that? The worst part is she actually went. This relationship has now been going on for several years.

My friend insists that there has never been anything sexual going on between them other than sexting and talking about it. Nothing physical has happened. But as I have said to her many, many times, it's cheating and I don't understand what she gets out of this fake relationship with him. Michael is also very controlling and makes my friend feel like shit most of the time. I think he verbally abuses her to keep her insecure and so she feels like she needs him. Yeah?

Yeah. Sorry, that was my editorial comment there. She has even told me she's in love with him. The point of all this is that I have talked to her many times about it and don't know how to get through to her. She's 34 and wasting her life on a guy who's married and has no intention of ever actually being with her. What do I do?

Part of me is sick of hearing about him and his bullshit over and over again, but the other part is desperate to help my friend realize that there is a guy out there for her. Would appreciate any advice. Oh, what a good friend. Yeah. It's hard to watch your friend, like, slam into… And waste their life away.

A relationship and a person who is a useless fucking tool. Yeah. I mean, I guess, yeah, I think we've all been there. We've all had to stand by our friend when they make poor decisions. And I think what I've learned too is you can't force your friend to get to rock bottom. Just can't. You can't do that with addicts. And in the same way, like when you're in a bad relationship, you're addicted to that.

Right? I love that analogy because I also think it's an addiction. Yeah. yeah and so how do you deal with someone who's addicted you are there for them you support them but then you also create boundaries um because as our writer has said like this has been years this has been years of fucking drama this has been years of her probably her friend crying to her and going saying that she's going to break up with him and going back to him and so like you as a friend also have to draw a line because this is bullshit right like you can only say as much as

you can say. You can only push as hard as you can push until you realize that they're not going to do anything until they're ready to do something. So for me, like I've been in, I've had friends who have been in really toxic relationships and I had to create that boundary for myself. I had to actually say, I'm no longer going to talk to you about this relationship anymore. So I was going to ask you about that. How did you deliver that? How was it received? And I mean, do you even, did you make a point of, okay, on Tuesday we're going to meet up and I'm going to say this to her. And yeah, like I'm really curious about how that went down. I mean, it was a few years ago. So I think it was more like, I think how I said it just a few seconds ago, I delivered it as

I am no longer going to listen to this. Like I've told you what I've had to say and I understand that you don't want to take my advice, but I need to take a step back. And I think what's interesting is that person and a lot of my girlfriends who have this discussion with, God, what a fucking shit person I am, is they're embarrassed, right? They know that they're dumping their load on you. I mean, if they're a good friend, they know that they've put you through the ringer as well. And they don't want to make you, they don't want to put you in that shitty situation too, right? My friends who I've had this discussion with have been like my closest friends and they've apologized to me, right? Like, I'm so sorry that I'm dumping this all on you.

so you also have when you just have to take a stand I think as a friend you have to take a stand you have to be invested you want to keep an eye on that shit but you also want to like not fucking drown yourself in their misery as well yeah I I mean I love your analogy from earlier because you compared it to addiction and it's the kind of thing where if anybody who has had a friend or a family member or a loved one go through it the thing that you ask for is don't use around me. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. And can you not see me after you've used? Yes. And so I guess if you compare it and, you know, strike an equivalent, then it's, you know what, I know what you're going through and that this is really hard for you. It's just that I don't want you to use

and use in this case is maybe deal with or be in that state about your boyfriend or not. In this case, it's not even a boyfriend. Which makes it even like a bajillion times worse that she has like no option or opportunity to be with this guy. I should mention that, I mean, as everybody, I think we've been clear, we record this at my house and I have two dogs and typically we're able to keep them quiet. But right now, tonight, Elvis seems to not want to cooperate with… So there's pitter-patter.

Elvis doesn't understand that… We're dealing with fucking real issues here. Elvis doesn't understand that podcasting is happening. He's just like walking around his own house, which he's entitled to do. So the pitter-patter that you hear in the background is my puppy Elvis, who is now no longer a boy but never going to be a man, if that makes sense. Because for his birthday, he was recently murdered. Anyway, have you never had to deal with this?

Have you never had like an overbearing friend? Oh, I have for sure. And I don't have really anything to add to what you've said other than, of course, when you're having that conversation, you are kind about it. I love you. I care about you. I know that this is a hard situation for you. Please know that I just want to say that I don't think this person is good enough for

you. I don't think that you are being true to yourself when you're with this person, but I will always support you and I will always be there for you. It's just that for the next little while, I need a little bit of a break. Yeah. So you do it with kindness for sure, but, and you have to like couch it in all that obvious language because you have to make sure that, that, that no matter what this person who is in the throes of this addiction to this person, this relationship, understands

that you are still there. And especially, and that's what I was saying, keep an eye on her and also don't cut her off so much that she doesn't come to you when there is like an actual real, real, real, real fucked up problem, right? If this is true that she's being emotionally abused and it gets to a point where it's reached a fucked up climax, then she, her friend needs to know that she has a friend available to talk that out with. Anyways, but yeah, be there for your friend, but create boundaries.

And I think that's the only way you get through these sort of sticky situations with friendships. Yeah. And I'm… Yeah. You sound like a good friend, though. And you know what? But remember, as we've all seen, a rock bottom will happen, which is so sad.

And you need to also get ready for that, too. She's not going to see it coming. And yeah. So that's part of being a friend is sometimes you see things, you're the chess player, you see things five moves ahead of when they actually happen. So good luck with that. And the next question is, Dear Sasha and Lainey, I've been with my boyfriend, call him Jude, for just short of three years and at the end of August I found he'd signed up for a dating

site. I actually found it on his computer and let's just say we had a pretty huge emotional fight and it ended with me needing some time to process what had happened. In the moment, I asked him why he'd want to join a dating site. If he were unhappy, he could have talked to me about it so we could resolve it together. He said he was just looking for attention, didn't know how to connect and make friends.

Bonus stabbed to the heart is using our first couple's vacation photo I took of him as his profile picture and talked about wanting to travel more with someone, Meaning someone other than me Twisted shit right I asked him if he had met up with anyone And he said one person I asked if he slept with someone else

And he said no one I was deeply hurt The kicker is I never in a million years Would have thought my guy could do this level Of bullshit betrayal nonsense Well no one does But that makes it I don't know that anyone

Would think like you're not supposed to think That someone could do that to you Sort of. Anyways, go on. Anyway, he swore up and down it wasn't about finding someone else, more about his utter lack of failing at making friends. This sounds like bullshit, and I've told him time and again, it sounds completely like bullshit to me.

I don't believe him. I think he did this as a grass is greener on the other side, peek at what else is out there. We have had a great relationship up to this point. He was kind, funny, affectionate, and warm with me. He didn't give me any hard or fast clues for being miserable, and I thought full-heartedly that we were happy. I didn't want to throw three years away after some long talks.

We are trying to make it work, except it feels great when we are together. He's his normal, kind, loving self, but I have this feeling that nothing was really resolved. I don't trust him. I don't believe his reasoning for why he did this. He basically blew up a relationship, and I feel anger and resentment. I think about it on the daily. I told him I wanted to move in and take the next step.

If he's serious about us, he'd make that effort. But he says he can't because he's allergic to my cats. The more I'm writing this, the more fucking stupid I sound. Any advice you could give me would be welcomed and tough love is welcomed. Thank you, Kay. Okay, Kay. Okay, Kay. I don't know.

like, fuck. I feel like you just go back to reading just those two lines. I don't believe him. I don't trust him. And I don't trust him. Like the end, right? That is what's so frustrating about situations like this is like, not to get all fucking mystical on you, but your spirit, your soul is telling you the answers. You know, we always are like, oh, someone give me the answers. what should I do? You, someone has fucking peeked through your soul and told you, I don't trust him. I don't believe him. I don't want to be with him. Why don't, why isn't that just the answer enough? Why can't we just trust ourselves to know that, that that's true? She doesn't want to fucking be with him. And who the fuck goes online dating

when they want some friend, some friends? You go fucking join a CrossFit class if you want to fucking find new friends. You don't join a dating site. And then to go meet with that person one on one yeah that's fucking sketchy as shit when the purpose of that kind of site is not to be friendly but to be fucky yes exactly yes uh no i don't know like it's it's so hard i mean it goes back to the last question is like i don't know when you see somebody going through a spiral of a bad relationship like this isn't a good relationship he is looking for an out he's making excuses he can't move in with you because he's fucking allergic to your cats. Like, that's all a bunch of bullshit.

I don't know. Yeah. I don't think that we ever take a hard line in relationship answers until someone says we want the tough love. And in this case, I just don't think that there's any question that the answer here is get out. And I don't want to dump on you either. Like, you know, you know it.

You feel bad right now, K. K feels really bad right now. You're full of doubt. You don't trust this person. You're upset. You're resentful. You're hurt. Yeah. And you have every right to be.

But I will ask you this, K. I've just talked about these feelings that you have and they're all negative. You have a boyfriend who has hurt you. You have resentment towards him. You feel lonely in this relationship. You don't trust him. You're upset. You're sad.

You're mad. So what's the difference in feeling shitty if you break up with him? Like a lot of people are afraid to leave because of the sadness. You'll miss that person. You'll feel like shit. Well, you feel like shit anyway. Yeah. Okay, right now you feel like shit.

The difference between you feeling like shit when he's not in your life anymore is at least you won't be an embarrassment. Yeah. So I, I, and you want the pieces of pride, right? Yeah. Pieces of pride. It's also interesting too. I always find it interesting.

We get these letters and I feel like I've been in that situation too, where people are like, but it's been three years. Like I, I fucking invested three years of my life. Like, isn't that worth something? Sure. It's worth something. But why, why elongate something or why extend something just because you've put in some time?

Do you know what I mean? it seems to be everyone's excuse, but I've put in so much time. Okay, well, you've put in that much time and it's still fucking a crock of shit. So why make more time? Why make more mistakes with the same person? I don't know. It's like, thank God it's only been three years. Fucking cut this shit out and like keep it moving. I guess it's because it feels like if you applied the same thing that you just said to work or something you'd been working on and you put so much time and money or whatever into, you don't want to walk away. You don't want to, you don't want to quit it.

Yeah. And I think that, but I mean, a relationship in a work project is obviously completely, it's, I don't know that we can have the conversation. I watch fucking every episode of Shark's Tank and whenever they say like, oh, you've been doing this, you've tried to be an entrepreneur in this stupid fucking like business for X amount of years. Why have you wasted all this money? Stop doing this.

That's their advice. It's the same shit, right? Yeah. It applies. Yeah. Just because you put in a bunch of time doesn't mean that it's worth the effort to continue it. And if you were talking about a smart business move, the smart business move would be to

cut your losses now so that you can redirect your time and your love and your energy to somebody else. Yes. To something better that's worth your time. I mean, Kate, you asked for it. You wanted to hear it. This is none of the things that you've told us. there's nothing here

worth salvaging agreed so sorry let us know when you need a hug let him go crazy on his dating site

and good luck to you and set up your profile and use a really great picture of yourself and your cats and your or

maybe not the cats but use a great picture of yourself when you're on holiday with him yeah and let us know how it goes

yeah Thanks for writing in. Okay, last question. Yeah. My boyfriend and I have been together four and a half years and have been blessed with the most wonderful two-year-old. We both like tattoos, him much… Sorry.

We both like tattoos, him much more so than me. He has our daughter's first picture tattooed on his arm along with her name and birthday underneath. He also has my name and birthday tattooed on him. While I think this is very sweet, I didn't ask him to do it. I have a small music key tattooed behind my ear and my daughter's birthday on my left wrist as well. I've been thinking about getting a new tattoo.

I'm not set on anything yet, but I'm thinking something small on my right wrist that will symbolize my relationship with my mom and two sisters. My boyfriend's jealous and doesn't understand why I won't get his name or something that will symbolize our commitment to each other tattooed on me. I'm sorry. Oh my God. I think having a baby with him is the biggest sign of commitment

I could have ever given him. Also, my eldest sister got a big ass tramp stamp of her ex-husband's name tattooed on her after they got married. She also had their wedding date tattooed on her ring finger. She's in the process of getting both tasered off or lasered off, sorry, tasered, I said tasered. Same pain level.

She's in the process of getting both lasered off. She keeps telling us how bad it hurts and it's not cheap either. She's already been in for six sessions and she's nowhere near done. I love my boyfriend, but there's no way I'm ever getting my significant other's name or anything tattooed on me because apart from my family, I don't really believe in happily ever afters.

While I do wish that that is in the cards for us, I've been burned too many times in love. So how do I get my point across and once and for all without hurting his feelings because he's now been bugging me with this for two years? You already said the answer, but okay, let's explore this. Um, she knows the answer already, uh, but I'm going to call her Angelina because this is about tattoos. Okay, yes, this is totally Angelina.

Angelina. Um, anyway, this is, oh, wow. I don't, I, I have no tattoos, so I just. But it goes beyond, so this is what strikes me is like, I am always perplexed that people are in relationships, long-term relationships, and they still don't really speak their mind. Like, I, it makes me think, oh my God, I must be such, if anyone saw my relationship with Corey they must think I'm like the biggest asshole because there's no there's no filter in our relationship when I think something's fucking lame or if I think he's like doing something

really shitty I I don't pussyfoot around it like I like barf up all my feelings at that moment yes so if Corey was like but he does it anyway right but still but if Corey was like oh Sasha will you get a tattoo of, I don't know, something on you for me? I would be like, fuck no. And that would be the end of the conversation. So I find it interesting that people are in these relationships yet they don't know how to communicate to their partner the truth. Like, no. Well, I think she's told him. She… Yeah, but in an obviously nice way that he hasn't gotten the hint. Like, he hasn't figured that shit out yet. He hasn't stopped asking. Like, I feel like sometimes…

And it's because he did it for her. So what? Like, he has, what, her name and her birthday? Okay. Is it the name and the birthday? And so he's like, well, if I did it for you, why can't you do it for me? Well, then he's the fucking sucker. I don't know.

I don't know. I just sort of, and like, and, you know, we do this podcast in your house, and I see how you interact with Yask, and it's quite similar in the way that I act with Corey. Like, you're not mean to him, but like, you tell him how you feel. Yes. And you shut him down a lot. Yeah. We do it to each other.

Yes. Yes. Okay. It's like a mutual shutdown. Okay. But you, okay. So what do you think about this? How wouldn't you?

I, okay. I have no tattoo experience. Okay. I, so the only tattoo experience I have is like with celebrities and you always hear about celebrities doing this shit and then they have to get it lasered off like Johnny Depp and like the wino. The wino. Yeah.

Um, so I, and I guess that it's, it's hard because in theory, when you go into a relationship, you want it to be forever. Like the goal is that you, and so if you're leaving a back door and being like, I don't want to tattoo your name on my fucking ass or tit or whatever, because one day we might break up. That is hard. That is a hard thing to, to accept. Sure.

I don't think that that should be the reason I think it should be I just don't want to Yes Like I just I don't want Except that she has tattoos Like for me it would be easy

Like if Yasik was like Hey I want you to tattoo a J On your right ass cheek I would be like But I have no tattoos I don't want tattoos Yeah So

Oh P.S. Just as an aside Yeah Oh you're going to talk about Your fucking pussy laser Aren't you right now I went to the test The pussy laser test

It doesn't hurt that bad. Okay, good. Congratulations. Great. Anyway. I hate that you call it pussy laser. There's just something I really don't like it. I don't know what the alternative is, but I just, I don't, maybe I don't like you saying

pussy. The point here is that, I guess I kind of feel, I will interject here because I kind of feel like a hypocrite because Corey not only has one tattoo of me, and I say that like in quotations. What is it? Well, he got this – have you seen the one that's on his forearm? Yeah, but I didn't know that that was for you. Well, it was like sort of inspired.

And then we also have my – I'm sorry, what is the thing on his forearm? It's like a Hawaiian lady with a lei. Have you seen that one? Yes. I didn't know that was you. It's not me. No, no, it's not me.

But it was like when I came into his life and all that sort of shit. And he thought you were Hawaiian? Well, I don't know. I'm fucking mixed race, so who knows what I am. Oh, good. Okay. And the other one is… I've seen him.

Okay. This is amazing. But it was more like just the time. And then the other one is he has my… I hate saying pet name, but what is it? What's another word for pet name? Nickname? Nickname.

Not my nickname, but like a name that we call each other on his chest. Okay. So, and like I love that. Would I do that? Would I do that? I love that Jacek's dying off here. Jacek isn't dying. This is now his new favorite thing about Corey.

Basically, the next time he sees Corey, he's going to be like, take your shirt off. Would I do that for him? No, absolutely not. Do I love that he does it for me? Corey is so romantic. Well, no, but he's also so easy to just make. I can make him do anything is the other thing. Okay, so this is what I'm saying.

This man is not Corey. no this no this man is wanting to be you but he can't he can't make his uh girlfriend but he is in fact cory because he's gotten his girlfriend's fucking name and shit on his on his body right but she does not want to reciprocate so i am but he's pissed about it cory wouldn't be pissed about it okay and so that's i guess the difference but that's why i'm saying you have to fucking be really up front with your homeboy and just be like no motherfucker you get the tattoos of me and I will not do that for you. I know that sounds really cold, but there's just some…

Isn't that just… I don't know. Maybe I live in my own weird relationship bubble whereby I make Corey do stuff and I don't do anything. What do you make Corey do? I make him get tattoos of my name on him. Oh my God. You made him do that?

He was really hungover and I was like, don't you think you shouldn't get… Stop. And he did it. Oh my God. Because when people get a bundle of tattoos, they don't really care if they get another one. Right? Okay.

No, no, no. But I just want to backtrack to the fact that… Are we helping this person? No. But… I don't feel like we are. No, no, no. So let's get back to her.

Jacek and I both need… So you actually asked Corey to get the nickname, like private name… We have it… It's both. Like, I call him that and he calls me that. Okay. But you asked him to get that word tattooed above his heart. I don't really remember and it is above his heart.

Across his heart. Like Amy Winehouse had the Blake's thing. Yeah, right. Same deal. Blake's heart. Yeah. I think I kind of did… I think we were both…

He was hungover for sure. I think we were just like, go, get that. That's what you should get. You should get our name on your chest. Is it a corny word? It's not a corny word. Okay. Like it's a word like hedge so that it's not…

Can't be interpreted. It's not like buttercup, is it? It's more buttercup than it is hedge. Oh, my God. I won't tell you because I don't want… I will make him… Jacek will make him take his shirt off. He is picking me up in a few minutes.

He might have to pull up his shirt. No, I think this needs to be… Anyway, we see Corey enough in many environments where he is in a state where he would easily take his shirt off. So, I'm not worried. Okay. So, let's get back to this. Rewind, rewind, rewind.

Okay. So, you get lost a little in this advice because I don't have any. She doesn't want… Listen, you don't want to get the tattoo for your various reasons. And I guess what I'm trying to say is we're not supposed to build in a back door. And I feel like your reasoning should just be, I don't want a fucking tattoo of your name or your face or your birthday. But if your reasoning is that you're building in a back door because you think that you

guys might not make it. We need to explore that. Yeah, that's true. And I think everybody should be smart in relationships. Agreed. And for sure, nothing lasts forever. But I will tell you this. They always say that, hey, nothing lasts forever, so put things in place that, you know, you

protect yourself, including, and the number one thing is have separate bank accounts. Yes. Now, I am a business person. I think I've built up a reasonably solid career. Yasik and I have one bank account. The plot thickens. That's interesting. And we do talks all the time on the social, and I read articles all the time when every

single financial advisor and relationship advisor and whatever. Almost 10 out of 10, they say, have your own account, have your own identity. You can have a joint account where you both put money in together. But Jacek and I, and we had, we put our money all together before we started Laney Gossip. Then Laney Gossip started growing. Laney Gossip is what it is now. We both have a part in the brand, the business, whatever you… Before we got married. Before we… As he has just clarified, before we even got married, we merged everything.

And now, I don't have anything… That's not his. …that says simply Elaine Louis, property of Elaine Louis. And people will say that that is the stupidest thing that you can ever do, especially for women because, you know, whatever shit happens. Yeah. And if, and it's possible, that… Let's knock on wood.

Let's knock on wood, but as we say, anything can happen. Yeah. If Jacek and I were to split up, it'd be a fucking mess. We have a business together. We have a home together. In fact, I… Most of the money aspect of our life, he runs. I know nothing about it because I'm not interested.

Sometimes he's like, come on, just look at our accounts. I need you to know this. But that's what's kind of nice about it, right? Love is blind. And sometimes you just do want to sink in. you want to push in all the fucking cards like you just like take it all yeah which is like a really nice way of saying i'm committed to you for however fucking long this is gonna last yeah and so i mean again but when it comes back to tattoos so i don't know like is a tattoo more

permanent than the messiness of money and how ugly it could possibly get if yasik and i were something, knock on wood, to happen, it would be like, let's say that something were to happen. He's worked on this business just as hard as I have. Like, where does that go, right? I don't know. And there is no part of me today, right now, that wants to build in some kind of escape hatch. But the thing is, if you guys were to break up, you wouldn't have tattooed on your head fucking Jacek, right? And that's the difference is for whatever reason, this chick maybe might be unsure of the future.

And so she doesn't… And that makes sense. Like, you don't want to have that constant reminder. You wouldn't be walking around with a sign that said, my failed marriage with Jacek. But if you get that tattooed on you because that's fucking not getting… Yeah, but Sasha, you can get like a tattoo lasered over how many sessions? Six, eight, ten? I will tell you this.

You can't. I've tried to get a fucking tattoo lasered. And it doesn't happen. But you can cover it. Money is lost forever. Like, imagine that. Money, I'm not trying to, like, I mean, it's not a straight up comparison, but I'm just saying it would hurt more to lose thousands upon thousands of dollars and half your business

and whatever and half a house than to, like, have, and it's not like she's tattooing his name and birthday on her face, as you said. It's either on your fucking ankle or your… Sure, you can cover it up. I get it. Do it like on your hip bone where, or I don't know. Wait, so you're telling her to do that? I don't know.

My point is, is I think that what we're exploring here is more that if she said to us, I don't want to get his name and birthday tattooed on my body because I just don't want to and whatever. It would be one thing. But she's telling us that she doesn't want to do it because there's a back door in it. And that's where I'm a little bit like, oh. Even more so, don't get it done. That's what I'm saying.

my advice is to tell your boyfriend, nah, it ain't happening. Like, sorry. I'm sorry if you have hurt feelings about it. Fucking too bad. I'm not telling her to do it. I'm just saying, I think that there's something to explore here where she's constantly like, I don't want to do it because one day we could break up. I don't know if that's the right attitude to have. In general. In general. Sure. I mean, what she wanted though was just what to say to him so that She doesn't have to get this tattoo. She clearly loves him. They have a kid together.

Whatever. Whatever. You said it yourself. The person who wrote in, Angelina. Yes. You said it yourself. You already bore his child. So the next time he gets frustrated, just be like, I stretch my fucking pussy to have

your child. There you go. Do you want to see the fact that… Don't use the word pussy though, Angelina. That's fucking rude. Maybe you do because that'll land. Okay. Do you want to see the tear?

I don't know. I've heard that what happens is shit tears. Up to your bum hole, apparently. Like the tear goes from your fucking clit to your bum, butthole? Yeah. Okay, great. Okay. So, you know, the next time if he's getting mad and you need to end this once and for

all, maybe like take off the pants, go into the squat position, but upside down on the bed, point out the fucking scar, which is also like a tattoo, and be like, hey, look, you want a tattoo? This is the tattoo of your seed implanted in me and me having to push it out. And that's the permanent mark I have on my body that shows you my love. The end. Anyway, there's your answer. That's a great answer.

Yes. I keep on just saying yes. She gave it to us. I wouldn't have thought of that. But I just want to point out, she gave us that answer herself. She wrote that. I've already born him a child. So, yeah.

That child… That's so legitimate. That is a… Yeah. Show him the pussy tear. That trumps any tattoo. Pussy tear equivalent of tattoo. The end.

You know, next time he points to your name and your birthday, pull up your pants. Be like, oh, here. What hurt more? Pull down your pants. I don't know what pants you're pulling. Or whatever. Pull down your pants. Pull up your leg.

Fucking upside down squat. Ta-da. There. And then maybe in that position he might get turned on and you can make another one. This is such good advice. I love this. I'm wine deep

and that made so much sense to me I clap good job you finished that whole glass I know I'm drunk okay I think we're done

alright missed a course yes keep your questions coming to Sasha at LaineyGossip.com and check us out on iTunes and Google Play

and keep yeah keep sending us your tattoo breakup dilemmas we love it we're here for you

bye bye We'll see you next time.