What's Your Drama - Sasha Answers: Procreate Debate, Nice Guy No Chemistry, & Settling for Safe

Episode Date: June 14, 2016

Andddddd we’re back with another spanking new podcast this week!On today’s show: to procreate or not procreate, what to do when there’s no chemistry, and is the safe bet the best bet. And as a bonus, I tell you how supportive my friends were when I first started dating my husband and by supportive I mean, dicks.Keep your questions coming to me at [e-mail]. Check us out on iTunes to leave your comments and feedback, and visit www.laineygossip.com for all your entertainment updates. Sasha xx  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Hi, hi, hi. Hi. So I know that this is a conversation that the world, the world that I live in anyway, that we've been talking about for over a week now, but I really do think we need to keep talking about it, and that is the Stanford rape case. Seriously tragic stuff. First of all, Brock Allen Turner, that's the rapist's name, and I would like to identify him by name as a rapist um because he won't self-identify as a rapist he's apologized for

drinking too much of just being a bro he's apologized for maybe being like right for a culture like you know being on the on campus and there's drinking and promiscuity he has not acknowledged that he violated her um and she wrote that amazing letter and read it out loud in court before his sentencing that has now gone viral and i think millions of people have read it so far yeah um cnn dedicated their whole their whole broadcast ashley manfield as as you just mentioned sasha she read it to camera took like 25 minutes but it's so powerful and it really needs to be heard the night that it came out is a friday so be like not the one that just passed but the the one before um duanna was like hey have you read the letter yet and i had heard about the

sentencing the bullshit that he only got sentenced to six months and will probably serve less than that and i hadn't read the letter um so i read it took me you know 20 minutes is quite long and i was so upset i found it so upsetting and yasik was already like going to bed we were playing golf the next morning I knew he was tired but I was so I found it so upsetting that I said it would really mean a lot to me this is so important to me I want you to read this and so he's like okay I will read it and he you know he spent the half hour reading it and he was so profoundly I feel you know and I don't know if he would call himself say this about himself, but I felt like Jacek was so profoundly changed by reading this. And he's not a rapist.

He's also not a woman. And he's not a woman and he doesn't have our fears of that kind of experience. And it really, I felt, gave him a perspective of what it would be like to have that happen to you and then to not be believed. Yeah. It's really heavy stuff. And it goes back to what we talked about in our last podcast about Amber Heard. And it's just more women need to be heard. And these stories, it's as tragic as it is. Yeah. Like I also had Corey read it too. And it's true. Like guys don't really understand the fears that we have, even just, you know, I'm always like, I always make sure that Corey's like, I'm like, if you see a girl walking down the street. You do go on the other side, right? You don't walk behind her. After 6 p.m., you're

not walking behind a girl. And he was like, what? Everyone needs to wrap their mind a little bit more around the fears that we do have in front of us, and they are different than what men experience. Yeah. And I know that I might be repeating myself a little bit, but I just want to like you know reiterate this notion of victim victim and being believed because you know one of the takeaways with yasik like what he can't forget was when she said she's in the hospital she had woken up three hours later she was obviously completely unconscious when this has happened this had happened three hours later she wakes up at the hospital she's been like she's been examined now. She's been told what happened, what's happened to her. And she says, I wanted

to leave my body there. And that's the thing that has, that was Jacek's, I mean, he took away so many things from it, but that's the thing he can't shake, you know, can't to, to sort of want to leave your body because you don't want it to belong to you because of what happened to you. And then for somebody to come along and hire a private investigator and to hire a strong legal team to question you know whether or not you said that that was okay for him to do that to you behind a dumpster and remember she was unconscious and there were two witnesses who found her who corroborate the fact that she was unconscious i mean i don't you want to use the word perfect but it was set up so that it's unquestionable what happened and still she was being questioned

so i found what was most powerful too is how she said if it wasn't her it was going to be somebody else. Yeah. You know, that night for him. Yeah. And yet she was still questioned. And so I have been going over and over my mind with Jacek too. What if something happened to me? What would happen? They would say, you fucking write about sex, you dirty fucking slag all the time on your website. You are a disgusting gossip bitch. You were drunk. You're a muckraker. You like to drink. You like, you've smoked weed. You go on television and you talk about your sex life. You go on television and you talk about the sexual positions that you enjoy. And, uh, so how are you going to be believed? That's what they would say about, God forbid it happened to me, but that's what

would happen. And many people would not believe me because I'm a dirty, low down gossip columnist who, if that would happen to me, probably deserved it. Or I'm not telling the truth. And that's what's so scary. Yeah, I don't know how to wiggle ourselves out of that. No. And so I want to keep, I don't want to give up talking about this. I think we have to keep talking about it, keep reminding everybody that there is this rape culture that we have to change, we have to break.

And it starts with having everybody read this powerful victim impact statement. Because like I said, Jacek is the most, like the best person in my life. and even he felt that he was changed for the better. So please, I encourage all of you, if you haven't read it, please read it and please share it with everybody that you know. Yes, agreed, agreed. Do you want to get to some of our questions?

Yes, I am reading again this week, so I will start now. First, so here goes. Hi, Sasha. Should I try to have another baby? Wow, just get it right in there. Should I try to have another baby? I have followed with sadness the pieces of your story

that you've shared over the past couple of years about struggling to have a baby. I am so sorry for what you've been through. Part of me knows I'm an asshole for even asking you this question and maybe I am an asshole and I need someone to tell me I'm an asshole. I have three children.

They fill me with joy and I am incredulous at my luck to get three awesome little people to raise and call my own. Last year I got pregnant. This was not planned and we were shocked. My husband was not thrilled but he can't he and I came around and then just as we were ready to embrace this unexpected

development things went wrong I was 14 weeks so well into things and they told me the baby had died there was no miscarriage but the process of inducing one was grueling and the and it involved many procedures and one emergency surgery it was very sad and hard and left me feeling empty and alone my husband didn't experience this the same way I did and kind of shrugged it off and the truth is our marriage has suffered terribly under the strain of the past year. The miscarriage, serious illness of a grandparent and a serious injury to one of our children and my husband has largely been emotionally absent for all of this. I've spent the better part of the last year trying to get over what happened. My feelings of disappointment at how my husband handled

everything and generally lurching from one crisis to the next and now I'm 39 and I feel a void but I also feel time is wasting. Do I try for one more baby that I didn't really know I wanted until I lost it and then I wanted it desperately? Or do I accept that you don't get everything you want in life and move on being grateful for what I have? My husband says he will get on board if I really want this and accepts that he kind of blew it last year and wants to make it up to me. But he says I have to decide now because I'm 39. That is obviously not the best set of circumstances to bring a baby into. Am I an asshole to grieve over not having a fourth child when I already have three? But if I don't try again, how do I stop feeling those pangs every time I see a pregnant woman, a baby, a

stroller? How do you stop wanting a baby that you want? I would be grateful for your advice. S. Well, I'm sorry about what happened. S. All the things that happened. Yeah. It sounds like it's been a tough year. I don't know. I don't think we're in a place to really necessarily say whether she should have a baby or not have a baby. But I do think what strikes me about her letter is that it doesn't seem like her relationship is on stable ground. And I think that needs to be figured out before anything else does. It doesn't seem like they've had a lot of communication about the grieving process. Like maybe our reader has gone through the grieving process, but she doesn't explain if her husband has, um, if he shrugged it off and now he's like, okay, well, okay, I'll do

it. Um, that doesn't seem like a really responsible place to be at to make such a big decision. So that's sort of where I'm at right now. I'm, I'm, I'm more concerned about her relationship with her husband as opposed to whether or not she should procreate. And thank you to our reader for expressing her concerns to me, but don't let my, don't let anything that I can't have. I want you to have all the things you have just because I don't have them. It's all good. But yeah, I would concentrate more on the relationship she has with her husband right now. I agree. I mean, first of all, we're not going to call you an asshole. Yeah. And I think it's weird too that she keeps on like she's berating herself, which I'm noticing too. I think you need to stop calling yourself an

asshole. This is not, I mean, acting like an asshole, acting like a selfish asshole manifests itself in many, many different ways, but this is not one of the ways. You love your children and you just want another child. That is fine. You're not an asshole. And wanting another child doesn't mean that you don't appreciate the gifts that you have in your life. So first of all, stop calling yourself an asshole. And we're not going to call you one. I hope we get to call someone an asshole today, but it's not you, but it's not going to be you. And yeah, Sasha, I do, but I do agree with Sasha, you know, when you write to us, you know, um, whether or not it's intended, we glean from your words, um, your feelings. And in this letter, I still sense that you are holding onto some

resentment at your husband over his shibby handling of the miscarriage. You were disappointed. You clearly felt let down by him that he wasn't, you know, he didn't have your back and he wasn't side by side with you on it. And I feel like you may want to address that resentment, as Sasha said, and work on the relationship first before bringing a baby in to fix. It feels like that is what… I know you want a baby. We're not doubting that you have a baby. But, you know, there are some lingering disappointments and hurts that I think…

And you said that he's tried to make up for it. You've said that you have told him about it. But I just don't know if you've gotten over it yet. I feel like that's something that we need to work on here. And there's a line in there, I think she even says, these aren't the best circumstances to bring a child into. So if you're telling us that, she does say that, quote, that is obviously not the best set of circumstances to bring a baby into.

So listen to your own words and figure out how you can create a better set of circumstances for the chance of a child, another, the fourth kid, you know. But right now, it just doesn't seem like the right time. Work on your relationship. Work on your relationship. But have, you know, but doesn't mean you should never have a fourth child. You want a fourth child? Grady, bunch the fuck out of your family.

100%. Do whatever. Like, that's not happening. Fucking push as many babies out of your canal as you want after the relationship is. Definitely. But I feel like, yeah, right now, I think that the relationship, because that's important to your family, too, to have a whole strong parenting situation that your relationship has to be intact that it has to be mutually supportive that it has to be in a in you know

because you're gonna have four children who are gonna look to you for modeling for um for love for encouragement for security i was just gonna say yeah for security yeah yeah and i want you guys to be secure and she obviously wants that too so and then you can fuck your brains out and have, you know, that fourth baby. Let us know. Let us name the baby. Let Duanna name the baby. Yes. Right. And then Duanna will guest host. But you are not an asshole. Yeah. Stop saying that. Yeah. Let's see if we can meet some other assholes though. Yes. Next. Hi, Sasha and Lainey. I'm dating a guy right now that has a lot of the qualities I'm looking for in a man. We met on Twitter. Oh, Sasha's going to love this.

She says, oh, asshole. No, joking, joking. Well, he followed me on Twitter, started liking a lot of my tweets, and then DMed me via Twitter to take me out for dinner. Love that. He did not hold back. He was upfront and took matters into his own hands. He said he enjoys my tweets and wants to get to know me. Love that. Seems like he likes me for me because I am myself on Twitter. No internet persona there. He texts me daily. Love that. I'm getting attention. He texts me, good morning, beautiful, hope you had a good day, and a lot of other nice things. He also pays for our dates

and we have been to about three dinners and a movie and drinks. He seems to really like me as in completely honest about the way he feels and is not playing any games. But the way he looks, the way he talks, the way he dresses, the fact that he isn't funny, basically I have zero attraction.

We've kissed, not just a peck, like a serious kiss and I felt nothing. I did not enjoy it. He told me I'm a good kisser. which I already knew. It was awful. I have no desire to see him again or talk to him or be around him. What is wrong with me? Is what I'm feeling misguided? As a 33 year old, should I just suck it up and continue being with a guy who is head over heels for me? Am I being a total idiot? And I know exactly how this is going to play out. I'm going to break it off with him.

Then he's going to start hitting the gym, get new clothes, become totally hot and get lessons on being funny, and I'm going to kick myself for dumping him, right? Meanwhile, I'll turn 34 and still be single with just another cat added to my collection of two. Help. they trust makes a recommendation. We're ACAST, and we put them right in front of you. Browse thousands of the world's leading podcasts, book host reads or run your own ads, and track every conversion in real time. Same skills you already have, brand new results. ACAST. ACAST.com slash advertise. I love that you played out like that he's gonna, you know, become a rom-com. Like all of a sudden be like Steve Carell in like Stupid Crazy Love or whatever that

movie was and get like Ryan Gosling to coach him. That isn't going to happen. I feel like she needs to, I'm like, she's panicking. She's panicking. I feel like she needs to slow her roll. And I don't know. I'm sort of just like, who cares if you're not in, like the chemistry is not there, right? Like this guy is nada, nada.

It's not happening. Okay. so can one this is a really interesting dilemma um and i wish we were like can't you know we could pull people on this can one bad kiss ruin it all yes negate the fact that he's generous pursued her made her feel important like i'm i'm asking i'm like i i have not answered my opinion either way but this is the dilemma right well i i don't know i think what trumps it all is if you have if you feel it for him or you don't she clearly doesn't she hates the fucking words that come out of his mouth she hates everything he looks like like nothing is there's no check mark here yeah other

than he fucking adores her which isn't good enough no like that that isn't gonna give i can't even play devil's eye no no i have to shut that down because this guy is it's just not happening for her. I do. I feel sad for him. You know, like I, you know, in a perfect world, you know, I do wish that he could find a Ryan Gosling to help him out. Right. Um, I don't think that that, you know, means that like suck time for you or like our reader who is like, I think that by then you'll have forgotten about it. So no, there's nothing wrong with you. You know, as Sasha said, you have to feel it. There has to be chemistry. There has to be, um, a spark, you know, you have to want to like get on his face. Yeah. Like if you don't want to sit on his face, like sure. If you don't want

to even like get to the point of thinking about sitting on his face because of the way he dresses and the eat and the, and then this and the skin or not the skin and then the, and then not the again i don't know where i'm going and then the kiss right then i feel like yeah that is completely valid you're i understand yeah and we've all been there where there's this guy who you want to make it work yes and but i don't also don't worry about the what if and what if you regret like if anything i would take credit for it that you would be like the inspiration to this guy becoming hotter hotter just not for you yeah and even if he did get his shit together you know what you know what your lips pressed together were it's just not it it doesn't even matter how hot he'd get

you still wouldn't want him yeah like you can't make some there's nothing like a kiss that skeeves you and one that comes from an unfunny mouth yeah you know like fuck that's a that's a deal breaker for me but you know what like at the same time you know not everybody has to be fucking kevin heart no you know yes i don't think she's looking for fucking seinfeld right now either like yasik has a hereditary gene from his family this is gonna be an insult where honestly they tell the worst jokes they his father does it his brother does it he does it it is mortifying um so i wouldn't say that i've married the funniest person you find him not that part no no i don't find that part charming at all um but you find him hot you like kissing him i find other

parts of yazzy's personality awesome oh i didn't know that you thought he was unfunny oh my god like he thinks it's you know he'll come up from behind me and he'll cut my tits and be like i'm being supportive and then like no exactly you want to die a little bit you want to die if you just saw him he just mouthed me that's funny okay you just died like i just killed some of your dna like yeah out of the unfunnyness of that why are you with him and like he he thinks that and he thinks that is the funniest fucking shit ever okay so then i cringe i'm like so then how are you any different from our reader right now can you express well you know i i find that like other parts of him are quirky that's a quirk to me a quirk that i can accept okay yes you know

and obviously other parts of yasik's personality are amazing you though you have a funny guy cory is super funny yes i i'm funny is a quality that i need in my life um and it wouldn't just be enough to get it from my friends. Yeah. I need someone who makes me laugh. Corey and I spend so much of our time laughing. That is key. Yeah. And you know what? We probably lack in so many other areas of a functioning relationship. Yeah. But that's one that I need to have a functioning relationship. Can we can I like reveal something about your relationship? We can cut this out if you know you're not comfortable. I know what you're going to talk about. Because Corey's personality is so first of all, Corey's beautiful. He's got like the most beautiful face. Corey's funny. He's

quick. He is smart. But I remember like when you think about things that you think you want on paper for a guy, you like tall guys. He is everything that I didn't think I was going to want. And I remember like when you guys first started dating, you're like, Lainey, but he's so short. I couldn't get over it. It was really, really hard for me to get over. I sometimes don't think I'm over it. But I feel like you've actually said this to his face. Oh, yeah, yeah, Yeah, yeah, yeah. But the great thing is he doesn't think he's short. So it's so wonderful to be with someone who –

His nickname is fetus. Yes, but that's because he looks like a baby. He looks like a baby, but, I mean, he's also sized like a baby. Yes, that is true. Oh. You know what's just so funny? What I thought you were going to say was when I – and we're totally going off topic here, so whatever.

People can ignore this. But our good friend, Lara, when I started dating Corey, we were crossing the street, and he had slept over, and she was like, oh, why do you look so ragged or whatever? I was like, oh, Corey slept over. And she was like, Corey, ew, he's so gross. And I was like, you're right. He sort of is gross.

But I love, like there was something that, so this is it. We'll circle back. This is the unexplainable chemistry. This is the unexplainable chemistry. Every one of my friends were like, ew, ew, why gross? I did not, I was not, I just listened to Lara. Yes. Yes.

But the summary I was receiving was, why are you with this fucking loser? and he's short yeah and this short loser but this short loser there was something drawing me to him right and so that that is that is the unexplained and so sometimes you yeah like even if they're in like the suitiest of suits and like their fucking hair and their fucking everything their games are like tight who knows you still might not feel the spark and um it doesn't really matter anyway so there you go here's my favorite one of my favorite cory stories we were at duanna's wedding and we've established that cory is vertically challenged oh he's 5'10 but yes okay fine he's petite he's petite and cory decides to wear a dope suit and the most massive bow tie you've ever seen like

this bow tie is like twice the size of his head it is so huge yes and so you know there are parents and like adults at Duanna's wedding like aunts and uncles I mean I say adults like they're we're not adults but anyway and he walked by a table of them and they you know they were noticing his bow tie

and this is a stranger they have said to this young man like oh you what an interesting bow tie and he says to complete strangers he's like I have the body of a five year old and just walks away that sounds like him

That's so, but that's funny. I mean, Jacek was right there and died. Like that was the moment Jacek fell in love hard with Corey, your husband. Jacek would probably marry Corey. He loves Corey so much. Oh my God. And that was. So ridiculous.

But he's funny and that's your chemistry. Yes. And it's unexplained. Even though you were telling your friends at the beach. I'm in love with a fetus. Yes. Well, even though, yeah, you told your friends at the beach and you're like, I don't know why.

I didn't know why. I didn't know why. Because he did not check any of your quote unquote physical boxes. Did not. So anyway, to- We digress. No, no, we don't. To reader out there, sometimes it should surprise, you know, in the best way, it will surprise

you like that, where somebody just doesn't check your boxes and you're like this, that, and you know, he's, I don't like the way he dresses. There will be a guy where you're like, I hate the way he dresses, but fuck, I'm so into him. So don't, don't stress. Yeah. And get another cat and don't feel bad about being a cat lady. Embrace your cat ladiness.

Great. Next. Hi, Sasha. It all started a few weeks ago when I ran into the one that got away. Call him Noah. We met a long time ago, and it was one of those instant connections, the closest I've had to something that seemed out of a movie. But there were some mistakes made by both parties,

and since then, the timing has never been quite right. I force myself to move on and live life and have been with my husband for several years. My problem is twofold. One, I do occasionally see Noah due to mutual friends. maybe a few times a year. And every time I see him, I get stupid for a day or two. It's like having a fever that invariably breaks. And thankfully, I've never done anything in those times that would endanger my marriage. The larger problem is that deep down in my heart, I realized to a degree that I settled. I went for the sure thing, the reliable person who I knew

really loved me, but also results in me having to stifle parts of myself. I'm not asking you to help me make a choice between these two as there is no choice to make. I realized that if Noah ever really wanted to be a choice, he would have been one rather than seemingly just liking to keep me hanging on a long line. The question is more, what advice do you have for someone that realizes they might have made different choices before

but is trying to live with them now? How much is this all based on unrealistic expectations from pop culture as to what love and romance should look like, particularly past the meet cute. I can never tell if other people feel like this too, or if this is a sign of larger things that I should be exploring. Thanks, Sasha.

What if Ali chose lawn? That's a quote, of course, and that question pertains to the notebook, right? Because lawn was, poor James Marsden. I know. He always plays the lawn guy, and then Ali ended up going with Noah. Okay, now it all makes sense.

Okay, that's why. So we'll call her Allie and she's got, she's married to a lawn and she's got a Noah. I don't know. Did Noah build her a house with like the most beautiful porch? Right. Okay. Oh, I don't know. This hits me on a couple of different levels.

One that, yeah, like I do, it strikes me when she talks about like, are we just always enamored by this beautiful, picturesque view of relationships through celebrities, through social media, through movies. And I do think that. I do think we get suckered into that a lot of the time because I think the reality is no matter how wonderful like a Giselle and Tom look, they're fucked up behind closed doors.

They have fucked up issues. They're not always happy. Really? Yes, I'm sorry to break it to you. um uh and you said that too right like a relationship is um a total marathon and there are some serious low times um so i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i need to think about this for a hot second i i do think that there is that you know she asked if we've been conditioned or we've been led to believe that to have these expectations of what your

love story will be like, right? And, you know, right here between our Allie and Noah, she's, you know, thinking, oh, the story for me is that there was this guy and he was perfect and then circumstances got in the way and he was the one who got away. And, you know, my story is like my lawn came along, but, you know. But there is like, what if Noah's an actual jackass? because Noah probably is a bit of a jackass. He's not perfect. Do you know what I mean? Like, it's that whole grass.

The grass is always greener. Well, the movie always ends as soon as the people get together, right? It never continues to show them how they stay together. Right, exactly. So, and frankly, sometimes the effort of staying together

and maintaining the togetherness is not sexy. It's, at best, it's boring. At worst, it's really hard, challenging. You have to go through a lot of shit. And it's not always like, yeah, I mean, it's definitely not a movie. It's only a movie at the beginning. It's true.

That's why movies end. Totally. It's true. I would also say, you know, if she feels stifled, I mean, we're obviously not at a place where she wants to fucking divorce her husband. That is not what's happening here. but she's questioning how she feels in this relationship. And I think it would be interesting if you could, and I think we've all been there, is where you can use Noah, this other guy, as like

use him as like a symbol of what you were, right? You obviously are yearning for what you were like when you were with Noah. Maybe you were more free spirited. Maybe you did more of your extracurricular activities like art or I don't know, whatever the fuck you were interested in back then, maybe tap back into that and reel it back into your life again. Because that might help not only spark your own, like, inner strength, your own inner love again, but it could also spark something again in your relationship with your current husband. Yeah.

I mean, her question is, how do we live with the choices that you make, right? That you feel stifled by or feel like you settled. Or feel that you settled. and I love what you just said about like remembering who you were when that you're wistful for there's a wistfulness here and I totally agree with what you're saying is like not to necessarily look at the the romantic interest part of that but who you were then that you want to go back to so much what is it that you were doing how did you think how did you feel? Yeah. I would definitely reconnect there. Get Noah out of the picture for like,

you know, and don't attach it to Noah, but come back to you. Yeah. I think that's a lot, like a lot of the time, whenever I've seen ex-boyfriends, um, when I've been in a relationship and I'm like, Oh, like you, you just transport yourself back in that time and you pretend like it was amazing. It wasn't necessarily amazing, but there was something about, I guess that time in your life that was, it wasn't necessarily the guy, but it was something that was happening within you and on a superficial level too like when you were just saying that about thinking about when you were with a certain person and you sort of only look back at those memories with whatever that expression is rose colored yeah these expressions that people learn from their

parents like in english that i never did because my parents are a chinese one is there are lots of chinese expressions that are equivalent yeah give me one that um that i know that like no would make fucking no sense to anybody else like those those are those are interesting ones um so anyway um like anyway i will digress over but but i think that like you tend to look back on these and on a superficial level like when i do sometimes when i'm looking back it's so vain and meaningless i'm like oh my god i was so hot with that guy like that's part of it too right like age is especially as women aging is sometimes a frustrating process it can be one of those things and the language is accept age accept it love it and of course we're trying to every day

and definitely do but there is a part of you that is like oh my god like i looking back at pictures and you happen to be dating that guy but you're focusing more on like oh shit my knees weren't Yeah. Totally. Do you know what I mean? Like that's, that's all part of it too. Um, I, I will say that I, um, I definitely think that this is more about a refocus on self kind of thing, whether or not that's where she has to start no matter what, for sure. How, how do you live with your choices? Well, first of all, how do you live with you? so what is it about you that you might be bored with yeah because ultimately you have to find yourself interesting or you have to be interested in things for yourself yeah i you know that just

over this past year i decided i wanted to like do a friday night community dodgeball thing and it wasn't like it's partly because i wanted the exercise but i kind of just wanted to join this club and Jacek and I you know it happens to be that Jacek and I both joined

but for me it was just me I was like I heard about this dodgeball league and I was like that might be fun I don't really know

a lot of these people on that team I know them casually but it would be fun to sort of get to know them in that particular setting and spaz out like a little kid

exactly and that made my winter weeks I would look forward to Friday nights like even after like a long fucking week at work

and sometimes the games were at nine o'clock, I'd be like, yeah, I'm going to fucking dodgeball. Like these are the things that I would encourage Allie to sort of look, like, what is it that, you know, you're not doing? Yeah, absolutely. What is it that you might be interested in that you never gave yourself an opportunity

to be interested in? As you said, maybe it's art, maybe it's dodgeball, maybe it's fucking, I don't know, a women's beer league. Yeah, tap into whatever makes you or made you happy back then that you've lost along the way. Allie, let us know. Yeah, keep us posted.

Good luck. All right. And keep your questions coming to me at Sasha at LaineyGossip.com. We didn't get to call anybody an asshole. Oh, you know what, though? The rapist is an asshole. Brock Allen Turner.

Motherfucker. You're an asshole. We endeavor to call someone an asshole next week. Yes. We hope. Yeah. I'd be really sad. Please, can you send us letters

where we can call someone an asshole? Okay, bye. We'll see you next time. appearing podcast ads like this one for example but always wonder how you actually get involved with them for your own brand or organization well it's easier than you think we're acast and we give you the platform to do it all yourself browse thousands of popular podcasts choose the shows that match your perfect audience set your budget and launch and if you want a hand our podcast specialists are there to help you launch with confidence this is podcast advertising without

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