What's Your Drama - Second Hand Embarrassment & Real Life Friend Requests

Episode Date: May 6, 2021

Before we get into your dramz we doing part two of our pee stream talk. We heard back from a lot of you and we're not sure any of your tricks and tips lead us to any good conclusion.Then it's time to answer your questions!First we hear from Julie who is getting all the cringe when her husband hits the bottle. She's not sure whether she should address the issue with him or hope that it goes away.  Then it's on to Julia. Julia is a social media influencer and is struggling with the balance between her online persona and who she actually is. She's getting a lot of friend requests to hang out in real life and she doesn't know what to do.Finally, we end on Annie who is dealing with a "turd" who is spreading her sexual conquest stories around town. But who told this turd in the first place??? That's where things getting a bit complicated.We hope you enjoy the show and keep sending me all your DRAMA! Send your advice questions my way at [e-mail]. We also love hearing from you on Twitter at @sasha_tong and @laineygossip and Instagram at @lostandfoundapothecary and @laineygossip. And of course subscribe wherever you get your podcasts, and make sure to leave feedback and comments because it helps others find our show!  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Did they write mean things about me? No. No, I don't want that to happen right now. Why? Because your hair is really greasy. I feel bad for you now. There's sympathy. But anyway, thank you for everyone.

It smells nice. Do you ever rub the back of your scalp? No, you've done this. I wash my hair. You've asked me to smell your scalp many times. And it's gross. I wash my hair every day so my scalp doesn't ever accumulate smell. Hi, I'm Lainey Louie, talk show host and entertainment reporter.

I'm also the editor of LaineyGossip.com, and I am a BTS fan. Yeah, you are. I'm Sasha Tong. I am a producer at an entertainment show here in Canada. I'm also a fashion and beauty columnist on LaineyGossip.com. And I am not a big BTS fan. But this is What's Your Drama, where we gossip about you. but continually falling out i will talk to you about this okay love it when you talk to me

talk to me so but except you kind of brushed over what i was saying which is my hair is falling out is your hair falling out well yeah i lose hair every day yeah but uh at an alarming rate because I feel like I'm losing my hair at an alarming rate. Were you stressed three to six months ago? I've been stressed for 13 months straight. Well, when you, when you lose, like when something crazy is happening with your hair, it's a result of stress that was like, like that you had experienced three to six months ago. That is how it works. Well, that tracks six months ago was probably January. So yes. So that's why. Okay. Okay. So what's, sorry, go back to your hair. Maybe that's my situation. So I don't wash my hair very often because we talked about this, because it's fine. Like it doesn't get super greasy. But all of a sudden last week, I like the my roots. Yeah, I'm trying to show you. I can see.

Um, I'm a fucking grease ball. Now I used like this hair product to put my hair up in a ponytail. Then I washed it and then my roots have been greasy. So then I wash it again. My roots were still. Your hair actually looks greasy right now. I know. I'm actually, sorry. This is, I am not, I'm not putting it on. Like I've never actually seen your hair greasy before. Exactly. Exactly. And you've known me for years. You've also known me to not wash my hair often. And even when it's on day four, it doesn't look greasy normally. Except some shit's happening.

I wash my hair like this morning. You are looking at freshly washed hair. A double wash. So I washed once, rinsed, washed again, rinsed. And at 5 p.m. it's greasy. Basically the minute, no, no, no. The minute it dried, I could feel it. So it must be your shampoo.

You must be using. It's. It's the same shampoo I've been using. Like, I've been using the same shampoo. I think that's what sometimes happens. At a certain point, you've used the same product for so long that your hair is like, bye-bye. Let me counter. Okay.

So then I was like, okay, must be my shampoo. So today's double wash was head and shoulders. Oh, you have head and shoulders on standby? No, I went and ordered. Are you back in 1992? I went and ordered. I was like, let me get the fucking strippiest, driest shampoo. Right.

Which would be head and shoulders for sure. And so I went and got a fresh bottle of head and shoulders, double washed this morning. And even while it was drying, it was, I was a grease ball and I'm a total grease ball. Yeah, I've never noticed that. There's no product in my hair. I don't know what's happening. Well, you know, the, all the, the thing that is always problematic is hormones. So I'm just going to say hormones, but it is greasy.

like it also looks like it's like sticking no but the sides look like like you were just out in a rainstorm i know like have you ever seen my hair do this oh my god i find this so satisfyingly funny um yeah because your hair is typically perfect all the time it's imperfect today look how thin it looks i'm dying it looks so funny right now it's look it looks great it looks wet It looks like you've just come from a bit of a shower. Like from the, just to let people know, from my part to halfway down to my ears, it looks greasy. Then the rest of it is great and usual. But I don't know what to do.

I don't know. I'm sorry. I just double washed it this morning. So now, like, you know what I'm going to do? Tomorrow, I'm going to wash it with tea tree. Oh, okay. Like just. Tea tree shampoo.

Okay, yeah. Which is also like super stripping. Right. There's going to be people who listen to this who will send in tips, I'm sure. But again, I think it's just hormones. Well, that's some crazy fucking oil on the scalp, man. It's pretty crazy that in like, what, nine hours your hair. Sash, nine hours is an exaggeration because I washed it at seven.

By eight, it was greasy. Oh. yeah i'm gonna call you tomorrow morning because i'm fine i don't need you to call me i'm gonna call you at seven i'm gonna look at my hair on facetime and then i'm gonna call you back again at eight and you're gonna i'm gonna be like look how fucking greasy it is i don't know what is happening why are you why is this so fucking funny to you i don't know you're like i have no you're a horrible person i have nothing in my life this is funny in yes it's funny because i keep on saying like eight or nine hours and you're like no after

anyway whatever everyone's disgusting i'm disgusting i have no hair anymore your hair is fucking wet all the time looking at your fucking thick ass hair that is non-greasy okay it's not greasy but it's dry and it's falling out look clumps anyway um this was not what we were supposed to talk about so we may or may not include this we want to talk about well we kind of want to talk about hair yes hair we want to follow up on um your stream issue that you brought up on our last podcast and i want to thank everybody who sent in their um what would you call them like just like their tips and tricks on how to like stream straight. So we got a couple of things. One, most people had, there were varying takes on that. Some

people said, oh, hey, it's because your pubic hair is long. No, if you have pubic hair, then it helps the stream go straight. If you don't have a lot of pubic hair, like if you Brazilian, then your stream can kind of go all over the place. Then some other people said, hey, make sure you when you go pee you put your pants around your pants and your underwear around your ankles so that you have like a good sturdy spread and there was one theory you were not buying I forwarded it to you and you were like I'm not buying that I think which was about the pubic hair right yeah there's One person who has a theory where if your puss is bald, then, you know, your pee dribbles down your fucking thigh.

Because there's nothing to catch. Sure. And then if, but if you're not bald and you've got some hair there, I am telling you, I have the dribble, hair or no hair. I am generally bald, but I mean, even when I let it go a little bit, yeah, it's the same. I will, how about you? Well, do you, whatever. Do you want to tell people if your puss is bald or not?

Well, it's not because that's another whole issue that I think is weird that people... I can't, at plus 40, look like a two-year-old. I feel like that's wrong. I want to go away from that. I appreciate anyone who is down for that. I can't anymore. Nobody is seeing it on me. Well, you are.

That's enough. I don't want to... Yeah, but I do it for comfort. I don't fucking love... Comfort? You know, I'm a scratchy, itchy person. I know that is true. Fine.

um so interestingly though so did you try the putting your um underwear or pants around your ankle well they're generally low no but low that's low that's a specific place like i don't like typically when you put go to sit and pee your shit hovers around your knees this was saying please push and scrunch all your undergarments down to your ankles that was her hot tip have you done that i just no but i don't see what the tip is why i don't know but maybe you should try that i say that because okay but weren't they saying it's because they want you to like spread your legs wide open yes i think that is the thing so that even if my pants were down around my you haven't tried how far they're okay do you fucking straddle the toilet seat okay so when i

got that email, I was like, oh, interesting. I don't know why that would work. But fun fact is I love Dragon's Den and Shark Tank. Like with every bone in my body, I watch it. I never miss an episode. I literally buy something from a Friday or Thursday episode every week. Every new episode, I buy something from Dragon's Den or Shark Tank. One of the things that I bought back in the day was the Squatty Potty. Do you know what the Squatty Potty is? I do. Yes. So I have been implementing the Squatty Potty because the Squatty Potty makes you do like that chinese person squat you know like your legs are on either side of the toilet basically

and you have to it's a bench it's a bench a little yeah but it has little foot places so you're really you're not so you your each foot is on either side of the toilet basically up front yeah and it does it does get you in a position whereby your pee doesn't dribble as much So I will say I got to test that out more, that theory. But I did do it a couple of times with the Squatty Potty because the Squatty Potty is disgusting. It's just like a really weird thing to have on your toilet. But we do have it because it's supposed to make you shit better, which, by the way, maybe you should try. I did.

Oh, yeah. You bought the Squatty Potty. No, I was gifted. Oh, OK. And you didn't like it. Well, maybe try it for the peeing and see if it works. well i don't dribble pee every time i just wanted to know like what is the science between you know dribble peeing and straight peeing no one gave a science there was no science

beyond like you know should you do a fucking fold adjustment you know a flap some people said that some people said that there were people who said yeah just like move those move those power lips over so that you can do what you need to do. So we can't, I don't know. This is where we're at. Nothing really has changed except that other people feel my hair is still greasy. That we'll have to tackle another time. I don't know what to tell you. Okay. It's very wet. Are we ready with questions? Yes. Okay. Here we go. Sasha and Lainey, I adore my husband with all my heart. We've been together for 15 years and are very happy and in love. As a child and teenager, my husband Ryan, not his real name, a sensitive artistic soul,

was relentlessly bullied, and while adulthood has been very kind to him, he still carries the weight of the insecurities that were developed in those years. My favorite part of getting to know Ryan was watching him slowly find the confidence to truly be himself around me and the friends we made together, his quirky sense of humor, his nerdy references, his sense of contentment, in the comfort of being accepted for who he is. Ryan frequently embarrasses me when he's drunk. It is not a new development. This has been a recurring issue over the years and I've chosen not to discuss it with him out of fear that in

the light of day and sober, he'd become really embarrassed and retreat back into his shell of insecurity. To be clear, these are somewhat mild issues and not him being inappropriate, offensive or insensitive, which would be addressed immediately. For example, he forgets to put the toilet seat down when he's drinking and i hate knowing that my female bubble friend may go into the washroom after him when playing a board game with an extremely small group of bubble friends he sneezed obviously a wet sneeze into his hands wiped them on his pants and was ready to keep playing as if i was his mother i told him to go wash his hands and felt mortified he loses his manners when it comes to personal space and actions he's the person that if someone decides

to drink water or club soda will not stop encouraging them to have an alcoholic drink. That's me. That one especially. Yeah, go on. That one especially bothers me. How would you handle this? Is it time for me to share these feelings with him? And if yes, should I do it in a serious way or a casual way?

Or knowing that he's just enjoying being drunk, silly, and somewhat harmless, should I leave it be? To note, I am also drinking in these instances, but rarely get fully drunk. I've tried addressing the issues in the moment, but it never goes well as I detest being the couple in the corner having a talk at a party even worse now as we are only socializing with two to four people at a time and so uncomfortable i'm in my mid-30s my husband is in his mid-40s we have no children thank you for your consideration of my question julie not my real name okay julie's embarrassed about ryan when he gets drunk but to be clear ryan doesn't get molesty handsy he doesn't

make racially offensive jokes when he's drunk he doesn't make homophobic jokes when he's drunk like it's very very minor shit yes okay so what's your take i mean i you know what my take's gonna be and unfortunately i'm i'm mortified by cory all the time in in before days when we were out mortified like i don't well you you know that like i i i want to feel for our writer here but i'm like he doesn't put the toilet seat down i've had to literally clean projectile barf from the ceiling to the floor from cory when we were being out like i like this i i'm i'm not even phased by any of this um but i understand i i sorry what was her name julie julie like i i feel like julie's getting a lot of secondary embarrassment when there doesn't really need to be any i feel like

she's making and I like how she's sensitive and I like how she's wanting to make sure that all her friends are comfortable and feel like comfortable in her house I think that's a really nice hostess trait um but I don't really think that her husband's doing anything that's that bad like let him live like no one drinks so that they can be the same they drink so they can let loose a bit like you know I no harm no foul here like as you said at the top of this like he's not doing anything insensitive he's not doing anything rude he's not doing anything that makes someone feel outwardly uncomfortable like the whole point of drinking is to like do some stupid shit sometimes i agree like i i julie i don't want to be like we're not supportive of you but

you know i was bracing for some shit yeah you know i was like and he again like he's having a good time. And I, you know, I think that if he's drunk and that's the only time he leaves the toilet seat up, well, I mean, okay. And, but your, your focus on that seemed to be like, you don't want your friends to think badly. And if you, if you have friends who would hold that against this great guy, like he, the way you described him at the beginning, Julie, of this email was like, this is such a great person. Like he's found himself. Yeah. Come around. He's really like stepping into his own groove. I bet you people adore him. Totally. Like he sounds like he. And so I have a hard time thinking that your friends would hold these things against him. Even the

sneeze thing, like whatever. I mean, like, is he the kind of person who deliberately sneezed and then was like, here, have my COVID germs smearing it all over people? No, it's just like in the moment he's just having a really good time and losing his inhibitions that is so one and and people still want to come over yeah like right it means that they enjoy your company and his company yeah so I I feel Julie maybe a little bit here you're worried about what other people think and I think that you're focusing on the wrong things that they might think I have a feeling that your friends what they think of Ryan is he's the best well I already think he's the best I think if anybody is putting out weird vibes it's probably her like like I'm sure that they're the

only weirdness that her friends are getting is like that uncomfortable intention that yeah um what's her name why do I have no memory Julie that Julie is exhibiting you know like so maybe just like instead of thinking that you have to have a talk with him instead of like trying to mommy him in the moment maybe your next experiment is to like let loose and not worry and see how that goes like if you can like let go of all this like i don't know i don't even like it's not like he's not minding his p's and q's but my point being like next time like try to let loose enjoy the moment enjoy it with him and then see what happens like maybe you'll realize that the stiffness and the weirdness was just coming from you plus i shouldn't throw cory under the bus i

am a heat fucking score when i drink like i am embarrassing all the time so i just kind of think you also as a partner have to like just put up with that shit too like you're embarrassing as fuck as well i'm fucking the worst right and i've seen yasik like literally like be a garbled mess and i don't think and that's what it is i don't think anything like when i see yasik like do you remember that night yes baked as fuck in the car came to pick us up in the car and we went to andy's concert yes it was like you and cory like you and cory were pointing at yasik like entertainment like he was the fool his brain was mutated and I thought it was hilarious right so if people can like everyone's out trying to have a good time or everyone's trying to be inside and

have a good time so let the good times roll as opposed to like police it yeah Julie um we're not gonna say good luck because you don't need any no you're with a great person let's swap you're good. Yeah. Okay. Next question. Hi, Sasha and Lainey. Heads up, I've changed my name, so feel free to use it. My name is Julia. I live in Vancouver and I have a fashion account on Instagram and sometimes sell things I've sewn on there as well. I have about 7,000 followers, not a ton by any means, but enough that I'm regularly fielding message requests and chatting with followers in a casual, friendly way in DMs. Every once in a while, I get messages from people who want to be friends and want to hang out in real life. Every time I get one of these,

they sound very kind and sincere and sweet. The thing is, I share a lot about myself on Instagram, and so sometimes I think the people behind these messages feel like they know me, even though it's all still curated. And even if they do feel like they know me, I think sometimes the people behind these messages don't realize I know virtually nothing about them. So it's a little weird to go on a friend hang with a person who feels like they know you already and you, and already feel like you'd get along when you don't really know much about them. I have a bit of stranger danger when it comes to new people and the way, um, the way you two talk about, I have a group of friends that I love and I have a few side hustles that keep me incredibly

busy. So I don't have a lot of time to meet new people. I don't mean to sound ungrateful. I'm just not looking for new in-person friendships. They take a lot of energy that I don't have right now. Any advice on how to politely decline these friendship requests without coming across like a total bitch because with my instagram because my instagram account is essentially a business i don't want to have any have a bad reputation or hurt anyone's feelings because the people asking to hang out do seem genuinely sweet but i'm just not interested thanks in advance julia okay i mean i okay well no this i you're talking julia is talking to two people who are well sasha thinks that she's friendly and is welcoming of all people i am i have i am

So I'm just going to say that I know that you can fucking giggle your fucking ass away, but it's true. If anybody was to pick who was the kinder of us and friendlier person, you don't think they'd say me? That's like shit and diarrhea. Yeah, it is shit and diarrhea. You're right. Okay. I don't know why you're like glorying. I'm not glorying, but now I'm going to compliment you because I was, while I think I'm nicer in real life maybe to people,

I equally think you're nice to people because you have made friends with some people that you've met through social media. So I do want to pass this one to you because you would be the least likely to do that, but you actually have forged friendships with people. So how did you do that and how did you comb through, like, safety, non-safety things when it comes to that? Well, I haven't met any. Like, you know, my friend Liz, my BTS friend. The New York friend. Who lives in New York. Yes.

Yeah. We're only on, like, WhatsApp together. But that's because you guys met pandemic. I haven't flown to New York. But you're going to. I'm going to. And then Liz and I will, like, for sure hook up 100%. Yeah.

Okay. But it's because we've maintained, like, a WhatsApp relationship for a year and a half. Mm-hmm. I think that's Julia. I think that, to me, the way I look at it, I haven't read any of these friend requests from people that you're getting. But to me, I think that it's an overstep for someone to reach out to you in DMs and for them to expect that, like, you get one DM from them and the next thing you're doing is… Hanging out? Going for coffee?

Hanging out. That's crazy to me. Yeah. So I, like, I think, I don't know if you're putting the pressure on yourself to do that, but business person or not, that isn't, to me, an outrageous thing for any client or Instagram follower to expect of anyone. That one message should result in let's meet up. How about if it's more messages, right? And so she's being, she's putting on her business hat and being nice to, like, a couple of people, right? And those people take that as, oh, like, hey, like, maybe we could be friends.

We live in the same city. Like, I enjoy you. You're writing me back sometimes. Where does she go with that? Yeah. So if it's people that Julia has actually started messaging back and you've started messaging a lot, then to me, and that person has then said, hey, let's take this in, like, offline in person. i i i would like i said i want to read the context of these messages like how this is happening yeah i would have loved you know because yeah i kind of want to know that too because julia obviously

doesn't feel that they've gotten to that point because julia doesn't want doesn't know that person so then my question to julia would be like what are you like how how are these conversations being exchanged like what's going on in these conversations do you ask questions like you know what do you do, Jane? Right. Right. You know, and thanks for buying my thing, Jane. Like, how did it feel? Where did you wear it? Like, I mean, I would expect that there's some sort of conversational back and forth. But to Julia's to get back to like whether or not you should feel obligated to meet anybody. Fuck no. Like, you know, is your obligation to answer maybe some queries and DMs, sure. But I'm not sure that you have to, you know, expand your real friend

like world. Well, I think and maybe Julia and you and me, we all kind of come from that same like old school way of making friends. But to be honest, a lot of people meet their friends through social media, right? Like that is how a lot of people get access to a whole bunch of other people and they do forge friendships and they do make friendships and they do hang out outside so that's a thing that happens but if that doesn't if that's out of your comfort zone I don't think Julia like you should step out of your comfort zone just because other people do that and on top of that like it goes back to Lainey's point like if you're not having if you don't know the people that you're talking to then you sure as shit should not meet them out

in the real world um I think what's great about like Instagram and I have like I feel like I have pen pals, right? Like I chat with people, like I quote unquote know people because we have back and forth, but I am definitely not going to meet anyone out in the real world unless like we're actually friends or like we're actually starting to be friends. So Julia's question is how does she politely decline these things? I feel like if people are like, Hey, you want to like, I don't know what these requests are, but like, Oh, you want to go like have a coffee, go to Jared? Well, that's what i mean covid if you can know covid three times then that person needs to get the hint right if you go no i'm busy no i'm busy no i'm busy aka no covid no covid no covid then that

person should get the hint if they are still pushing for like friendship hangs then i would block like i would block at that point because that's over like that's weird don't you think for sure yeah for sure but i i think that i think julia you have a kind of built-in thing here where you're in vancouver so it means you're in canada and in canada like um the situation isn't great in a lot of places including vancouver vancouver's more open than where you and i live sash but vancouver's not in the clear no like people should not be fucking hanging out with strangers people okay but how about outside of the pandemic hopefully when this is all said and done and we go back to real life julia still has a business julia will still have people

coming into her dms wanting to hang so when there is that time where covid is an excuse i think that's now where julia needs to be a little bit more judicious about like if you're not like gonna let it get there then your responses have to be more succinct to the point and you know not engaging in that way right but how about if she's not engaging but there's just like some people who overstep their boundaries how does she say like does she have to outright come out leave them on read okay and just right and just leave and like ghost them yeah because if you leave them here's the thing I hear what Julia is saying about like worrying about losing a customer that said I this is not a customer at the point where they're stalking you right

right you're losing a stalker right yeah yeah yeah right I mean and I hear you they're not a stalker how about if they're just lonely like Vancouver is actually very notoriously hard to meet people so how about if they're like oh I fucking like her and like we would probably get along like it's the same way as like I would say to Chrissy Teigen Chrissy Teigen oh my god we would get along like fucking let's hang and she would be like no you're a fucking insane person I don't know who you are but I get that right because I feel like I know Chrissy Teigen and I know who I am and I know we'd probably get along so right I've never asked her to hang out nor would I fucking ever but I get that mentality where you're like okay yeah yeah you don't know me but

I like I know me and I know you and we would fucking like mesh well right so that could be the mentality of the people who are in her dms so yeah I think that I think that Julia might need to be a little bit more direct like if someone says oh do you want to hang out I would first start with being a little passive and just be like, oh, I'm busy. I can't. Thanks for the offer. And then if it comes back again, I would just be like, oh, like I'm a little bit like I've got some stranger danger. I don't really like hang out with people like I have my small group of friends. Like I think you can be honest in those situations as opposed to having to like be sheepish about it. Just be like you can politely just say, no, I'm busy or be like, oh, I'm just like I'm

I have like social anxiety. I don't really meet people outside of like my friend group. But thank you so much. Thank you for your support. Like I love chatting with you like this way. Like, do you know what I mean? Like you can still let them down softly. I want to know though, like what, how the friendship, because it's not a button. It's not like friendship request. It's not like, yes, no. What, how, how these friendship requests are articulated? Well, we don't know that. I'm just curious, but I'm sure it's like, Hey, Oh, you're in Vancouver. Do you, have you ever been to fucking i don't know kids beach you want to meet there one time i don't know it's got to be something like that i don't know i mean i do i like i get it i get it that you're

trying to um come from the perspective of someone who is shooting their shot and that's really you know and that's we've encouraged people to shoot their shot all the time on social media like to go for it yeah right i think that you know with someone like julia who legitimately has a business It's a fashion account, 7,000 followers. That's not small. Nope. That's not, to me, that's not the same as shooting your shot with somebody you're just like, you know, you met and you're there literally only for the social connection and

not the, um, not the like product. Right. Thing. Right. Right. That's, that to me is the difference here. Okay. Where I still encourage people to go shoot their shot, meet people in community groups,

message boards whatever yeah but this is like there's a very clear distinction with what julia is doing that it is a business as she's saying here and yes part of the customer service is to get back to people say thank you for supporting my product i really appreciate it this is so great but julia says that but julia says she shares a lot of who she is on instagram a lot of people's businesses are tied up into who they are as well right like get to know me this is a let me do these fucking live q and a's let me like you know it is about that it is about come buy my shit but also get to know me as well so it is a bit of a blurry line like I get why some people might be like oh like she's let me in so like is she down for a hang I think that that's a line that is like

I wouldn't fucking cross but there are some people out there who are like I need a friend I live in Vancouver like you seem cool would you want to fucking hang out I mean this reminds me for some reason my brain went to the whole rachel hollis um um controversy remind me why do i know that name like that super popular um instagrammer and she's written books and she's got like millions of followers and lately all her shit has been bad because she did this instagram post where she's american and she did this instagram post where she spoke not very kindly of like the her like um cleaning service oh for fuck's sake she was a nightmare oh god and then she went and offered an apology but her apology ended up being equally as bad equally as bad and then

but her like she's the kind of influencer who is definitely sharing her life right and because of her following got really, really big and is mega rich now and has like a big business. But I think too, in those situations also like, I think in you always talk about this, shouldn't we be savvier than as social media consumers? Like there is a difference between somebody who starts off like Julia,

like the goal of Julia, I think given that she's an entrepreneur is to keep growing and growing and growing and growing. Right. And Julia has been pretty transparent about the fact that she sews things, whatever they are. She didn't like give us that much detail because we don't want to like, you know, identify, like have her compromise. But like this is somebody who has a definite, like a very clear and transparent purpose with what they're doing on Instagram. And I think we have to get a little bit more savvy or the general public being like, this is Julia.

She makes things that are really great. And in order to tell the story of this thing that she sewed, she talked about the time that she went down to the beach and she was like, oh, I need a blanket and I'm just going to sew one. And that's, you know, I think that that is where people have to distinguish between I'm really interested in this person's storytelling as an enhancement of this thing that she's sewing and selling, as opposed to this woman who's sewing and selling and telling me stories is going to be my best friend. Like, listen, I agree with you, but I'm telling you the facts are lots of people have friendships that are made and started through Instagram, through Twitter, through fucking Pinterest. I don't know if that's true about Pinterest, but Twitter and Instagram, lots of people make friends that way. So yes, should we be savvy?

Totally. I totally agree with you. But I also am like, there's a whole other subsect of humans that are making friends by doing that, by saying, hey, I don't care if you sew or not. You seem cool. Want to fucking like hang. But the key to that is social media chemistry. That happens, too. Yeah. No, I agree. Listen, for Julia, who's listening or has probably checked out of this already, like I think that you come from the same cloth that Lainey and I are cut from, which is like we don't typically go out of our friend group to make other friends I don't think she should be so closed off that she couldn't

one day forge a friendship over Instagram but right now she's not fucking jiving with anyone who is wanting to hang out with her and I don't think there's anything wrong with being like thank you but no thank you and I know she organic yeah like I think she's scared because she doesn't want to lose um like people and she doesn't want people to not like her but like it is a little bit oversteppy if you don't if you guys aren't feeling the same vibe and someone just wants to like go for a coffee date with you yeah anyway so like so say no where are we ending we're just say no you don't have to hang out with these people if it makes you feel uncomfortable don't fucking hang out with these people just say thank you I would just do the busy thing until they get the hint

and then if they don't get the hint then say you know what sorry like I I'm like don't have much time right now, um, to, to meet other people. I'm like so busy with my work. Thank you for supporting me. Bye. And then we'll just leave them on fucking red. But you also, also Julia, like set limits, right? I mean, when people DM you, thank you. I love that so much. Your story really resonated me. Thank you so much. I'm really happy. It means a lot to me. Like, you know, you don't necessarily have to back and forth or continue the back and forth unless they're legitimate questions. Hey, I bought this product and wondering if it comes in different colors. yeah green and pink right yeah yeah i mean listen when i try to talk to you over dms on instagram

you literally treat me like a fan too you're like thank you bye-bye so it's like fucking no harm no foul i'm sorry we text all day yeah but when i randomly instagram you and dm you which is like so rare like you've left me on red so many times actually because i just texted i know but i'm just I'm not, wow, that's so us. We just, yeah, just. Anyway, Julia, good luck. Yeah, all right. Sorry.

Okay. Okay, final question. Hi there, Sasha and Lainey. I recently ended a relationship of eight years and started casually dating again and making a few hookup friends. Good for you. I found out that my close best friend

has been sharing intimate details about my sexcapades to her ex-boyfriend. Huh? Okay. She's pretty tight-lipped about the type of relationship friendship she has with this ex-boyfriend, mostly because I think she knows that none of us in the friend group cared for him when they were dating four years ago. And let's be honest, he's a turd with a big mouth who loves to stir the pot. That being said,

a friend of ours who recently moved back from another province and met with the turd for coffee where he divulged to her that he knows everything I've been up to. I'm upset that my friend would tell my personal stories to her ex who I have zero respect for. The problem is if I bring it up to her i would be outing the friend who met him for coffee can i tell her that she betrayed my trust or should i just move on and stop telling her my personal information she may have had no intention of it getting back to me i can't help but feel more angry with her ex-boyfriend for trying to start drama than i am with her is my anger misplaced annie um okay so my close best friend so this person is her best friend and is telling this guy so she told her best friend about

her sexcapades and her friend told her ex-boyfriend you do yeah um yeah yeah wait i want to know did annie this is what fuck i wish that we had these people on fucking call or we could just like text them so we could find these answers which we should probably actually look into we should do that um we really should because what i want to know is did annie tell her best friend not to ever say anything was she like this is in the fucking vault does she say that in the email did i miss that no no so annie if you didn't exclusively and like fucking make your best friend sign a contract that this shit was like not was on the dl then i feel like maybe she gets a pass this time because like we all listen i want to be like i do not gossip i do not talk about other people's

business i do um fuck you so do you bitch we all do oh my god um yeah we all gossip we're all the shitty people um but if someone asks me not to say something i will take it to my fucking grave like you know that right like i will not fucking spill the beans if someone tells me not to um so i would like to know that so i guess if annie didn't tell her friend exclusively not to say anything then i don't think she can be really super mad at her best friend what she can do is say hey word got out i heard from somebody like i don't know why she would have to throw her that other chick from the other province under the bus just be like i want to make sure that when i tell you about my like sexcapades my hookups I need that to be between you and me please do not tell

anybody or the next time you have a story you have to tell her keep this shit in the vault yeah I I I get that but I also like don't understand why you feel like you would be compromising the other friend right I don't know that told you like right like why are we concerned about that like if this piece of shit asshole is I don't know going around town and like I don't know what is what drama is he starting is he simply saying oh welcome back to town here let me catch you up on all the shits going down so yeah and he's out here starting a new business and oh my god he cheated on his wife and uh Matt and his wife are about to have their third kid and oh my god i hate like the older kid is a nightmare um but it's their fault because you

know they're such neglectful parents whatever what the fuck are you talking about no i'm just making up stories okay and then and then he's like oh and welcome back to town and by the way annie yeah she's a big hoe she and her dude and she's yeah she's doing her thing is is like that's the drama drama is he trying to stir up is he slut shaming probably because if that's the thing then you know then get fucking righteous i don't give a shit about your friend who just moved here from another province like if some if she should have been like hey by the way brad is slut shaming you then you can go fucking balls out and ham on the whole situation right i like your reputation is at stake not even reputation this per this person is perpetuating terrible um like perpetuating

terrible stereotypes about women and their bodies and sexuality so do the crusade man even if he's not like annie's the biggest fucking hoe on the street town bicycle even if he's not doing that she shouldn't he shouldn't be fucking talking about her sexual activity period like that's it right like slut shaming or not like obviously annie's like i don't want my fucking business out there but i don't really know why she like you're right like i think she should go ham and probably pick the fucking bone with the dude like bypass your friend but she's but she feels like her trust like her trust has been broken with her friend so i think you can do two things i think you go to the guy and say stop fucking running your mouth piece of shit turd face and then i

think you can go to your friend and just say hey I've been hearing turd man talking about my shit I don't know if you told him or not but like heads up seven up next time I do tell you about my hookups that's between you and me don't be talking about it with anybody else right well I mean we all know that people talk when they're fucking what do you mean clearly Annie's best friend is fucking turd. Oh, right. Okay. Right. And frankly, in the science of life, no matter what you say to a friend, you will never be able to control what they say when they're in bed with someone. Okay. It's a fact of life. Do you agree? I have kept things from Corey that people have told me not to say. But fine. Sure. But fine. There's no guarantee is what I'm saying. But

What is the guarantee? The guarantee is, Annie, you don't tell your best friend shit. Or you just take it to this asshole and be like, what the fuck? You know, stop slut shaming me or creating all this drama. Everything's fine. You know, shut it down. Okay. So go right to it and confront the issue.

Shut it down. Yeah. Okay. And I guess, like, you know, she was like, I don't want to. But maybe her main concern isn't the turd. Her main concern is the friend. that's what I'm getting from this email which is like I uh well no she does say like is it unwarranted where I'm putting my anger but she's also like I feel like my trust has been broken

with my friend I don't think that you to me I don't think you need to you should see it as your trust being broken like actively like this was an intentional betrayal yeah I think as you said your friend has like your friend it has a mega hang up with this guy she can't quit him Mm hmm. Right. She's you could say like she has a problem. This guy has her her whatever Achilles heel, her addiction, whatever. They're fucking or at least wanting to be fucking. Yeah. So this is not about like you and her actively betraying your friend has a problem. Yeah. OK. So either you just don't tell a friend anything anymore about your sex life, knowing that she has this problem who is a turd or you go straight to this piece of shit and you say shut this down now right

okay stop the drama or like you know both right yeah okay yeah and instead you can just talk up how what an awesome woman i am like the catch of the town yeah totally totally you could do better pr for me yeah you'd be like everybody wants this girl yeah she's amazing yes agreed okay i feel like that's good i think we have not solved any of the world's problems we've solved three three ish problems well i have a major hair oil problem i know i i get keep on seeing you like you're not actually looking at me while talking to me you're just looking at your hair i don't know if we should bookmark this podcast with your hair again like it actually it it looks damp no I don't need to feel it it looks damp I can see it from the screen it looks damp and it looks wet just looks

a little bit greasy yeah no but to feel it is like I have gel in there I've had when I didn't put any I've had that before to be quite honest with you but that was because I hormones well I don't know I probably told myself it was hormones but I think it was also I wasn't washing the shampoo out of my hair properly. Are you doing that? Yeah. Are you? Because if I wasn't, why would it be like fine everywhere else? I'm going to say hormones. You're just old. We're old. You're old. I have neck lines. I need to get rid of them. Your hair is greasy. I feel like over secretion of oil is a young thing. That's true. But I also think it might skew old as well. Anyway. Anyway, way thanks for listening oh my god but wait wait and thank you to everyone who took my desperation

and put it in their heart and then wrote really nice reviews on iTunes it's so desperate of me I felt so gross but I was so embarrassed I was very embarrassed for myself too after that like I was maybe like yeah should you cut all of that out but listen some people wrote nice things and that's really nice and that made my it made my day so did they write mean things about me no which No, I don't want that to happen right now. Why? Because your hair is really greasy. I feel bad for you now.

There's sympathy. But anyway, thank you for everyone. It smells nice. Do you ever rub the back of your scalp? No, you've done this. I wash my hair. You've asked me to smell your scalp many times. And it's gross.

I wash my hair every day so my scalp doesn't ever accumulate smell. except it did a few months ago because i i guess hormones it reeked like fucking shit like so bad because i was washing my hair every day i was like why the fuck would it reek and i i only found out because i had this lingering smell and i was like is that me and then i hugged one day he was like your hair reeks anyway i had to change my shampoo and it worked my shampoo was creating weird bacteria, gross smell on my scalp. It was disgusting, but I changed my shampoo and within a week it was done. So you need to change your shampoo. And if that's, if it doesn't change it today, I had in shoulders today. Well, that didn't work. So you're going to have to find

another shampoo. Fuck. Anyway, keep your questions coming to me, Sasha at LadyGossip.com. And definitely leave comments and reviews. Nice ones for Sasha, please. No, no, we can't, we don't do that again because I'm gross that's disgusting when I'm begging okay then just be honest now

okay go back to being honest go back to being honest and subscribe to us wherever you get your podcasts we will be back next time bye bye

Thank you.