What's Your Drama - Taylor Swift's Drop & Healed by a Country Dick

Episode Date: April 25, 2019

Welcome back to another episode of What’s Your Drama!On today's show: We keep guessing what Taylor Swift is hocking and then discuss if we care. Spoiler: No. Then we get into your drama! How do you open a marriage up to other partners if you haven't let your current partner in on that plan, are you a b-tch if you cock block your friends out of plans, and finally, what to do when you want to change back to your maiden name.We hope you enjoy the show and make sure to send us feedback on twitter at @sasha_tong and @laineygossip and Instagram at @lostandfoundapothecary and @laineygossip. And of course subscribe on iTunes, Google Play, Spotify, Pandora, or anywhere you get your podcasts. And keep your advice questions coming my way at sasha(@)laineygossip.com. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

hey what's your drama welcome to what's your drama i'm sasha i'm laney how are you i'm good we're one day away from what a drop by taylor swift we do not know yet what that launch is going to look like but it's tomorrow friday i know that well do you have we ever talked about this like i for tomorrow i only care about avengers yes do you care about avengers i only don't ask me any sort of trivia or anything, but I would like to see it. I've seen all those movies. Okay. Okay. But if you ask me if it's like DC or Marvel, I'm going to guess it's Marvel, but I don't really know. Okay. But you're going to see the movie. But I will see the movie. Like when? In three weeks? When it comes out on to a television where I can sit on my couch and watch

it. I'm one of those horrible people. Okay. So like in six months. Correct. Okay. Okay. I think that you know it's amazing how things have changed us i think because i you know with surprise drops these days i'm not used to the long drawn out tease that she's been giving us like it's making me like which is weird because i don't feel that way with movie trailers right or anything beyonce does you love it you love a tease that way but she doesn't really tease like she's quiet yeah she's quiet and then it's like boom yeah so I feel like maybe it's because we live and breathe Beyonce that is our norm with respect to artists so whatever Taylor's doing I'm kind of like fucking get on with it just tell me yeah yeah yeah yeah because I I don't know that I I don't

know that I'm that curious I'm not that curious either and the only reason why I know about it is because I have to like write stories about it for work but I'm very uninterested and it makes me realize that I don't really know how many celebrities there are that are hawking shit that I'm actually interested in. Like if, if in fact, like I think on your site you were talking about it being a clothing or accessories line. I think it must be an accessories line. Well, I, I don't know.

I know you don't know. This is what her fans are saying. Like I'm just fucking repeating because her fans are the most in tune with her and pick up on her clues. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't pick up on the clues. Right. So I just don't think I'm going to care when she comes out with an accessories line or

whatever she comes out with, unless it's music-ish, because I think her fucking style's whack. Anyway, but beyond that, I just don't know who's buying this stuff other than teens. Like, I know that you'll buy Beyonce merch, but will you buy, like, when I think about someone else that we both love, love Gabrielle Union. Do you buy her clothing line? No. So why? Like, I'm just, I buy Rihanna.

I'll buy Rihanna. Yes. So why do we trust those people but not others? Well, I buy, listen, Rihanna is probably in a league of her own. Did you buy her lingerie? I didn't, but I don't wear lingerie. Okay, that's why I didn't share. But, you know, the other things that she sells, like whatever, makeup.

Yep. And I'm not even big on makeup, but I bought Rihanna. You bought Fenty Beauty. I bought Rihanna lip color. Okay, yeah. Because lipstick is my thing. Yes. And her colors were really, really good.

The thing is, is that I think Rihanna is in a class of her own, even independent of Beyonce. Like, there are certain things that obviously Beyonce is in a class of her own. And I think what Rihanna has done with merchandising and branding is no other celebrity touches it. And it's because she's so personally involved. Like Tutorial Tuesdays where she herself is doing her own fucking makeup. Yeah. That's actually true.

And I wonder if that's the reason why I don't ever buy anybody else's stuff is because I just don't know. Like if Jennifer Lopez comes out with her skincare line, which she was supposed to, unless I know, like unless I see her in a fucking lab coat, like and she's gone MIA because she's in a fucking lab making her skincare line, fine, I might buy it. But other than that, I'm not – you're just slapping your name on something. And that's what I feel like a lot of these fucking celebrities do. They just slap their name on it and –

I think that that is – like, people like Jessica Simpson gave that its reputation, right? Yes. Which her business is, like, monster successful. It's, I think, a billion dollar or that was the thing. But, yeah, she slapped her name on it. Whereas Rihanna, like when she does a product launch, she's out there in the crowd, like helping you do a touch up. Totally.

And if you pop quizzed her and said, name all the names of your eyeshadows, she'd tell you. You'd know them. Yeah. Yeah. That's what you kind of want, right? Yeah. Well, if they're invested, then I'll invest.

Outside of that, I won't. I don't know. Like, to be fair to Taylor Swift, she is pretty, like her reputation. Uh-huh. Yeah. Oh, whatever. her like her whole jam has always been that she is super involved with everything like this is somebody who takes the time to like write back on social media to her fans so if it is an accessories

line then I'm sure she would know about it but to your point about her style like if the teasing is about accessories and clothing it is so ugly those flower things I know she's been wearing I know everyone's like oh look what she's wearing all these florals and pastels every outfit she's been wearing is like really heinous laura ashley bullshit when i like how she looks it's when she's been styled editorially by somebody else yeah like she looks great in magazines yes you know british vogue when edward enninful styled her that was her best so good right when so i don't know i don't know that Taylor Swift has established a signature style where I'm gonna be like I can't wait to cop that yeah yeah so outside yes maybe it's music I hope so for her sake

but maybe you know what though I think in a way though if that really is the the accessories line and there's like plastic hearts with tacky shit pearls it might be awesome just for us to like live that and just for shits and giggles to something like that yeah well Well, I can't help but think it is because of, yes, the weird heart things and then also the hands with all the rings. I don't know. I'm just thinking. I'm just thinking.

It must be accessories. Okay. We'll probably be wrong on Friday. All right. Let's get into some people's drama. Dear Sasha and Lainey, you can call me Mrs. L. I'm a 37-year-old married Filipino woman to my 35-year-old Norwegian-Brit Irish husband. We've been together child-free for about 12 years and married for four years.

He's the most caring and kind person I know. He works hard as a contractor for a family-owned home builder company. I had a 15-year career in corporate finance until I fell ill with fibromyalgia last October. I am a tenacious person. The disease is not considered a disability in Canada, so I have to still power through. My husband makes sure I am always taken care of, and I love him even more because of his dedication. He's my best friend.

We have amazing sex. That's a great update. We live in a small town in northern Ontario. I'm the first of my kind in these parts. It's a pretty close community, although I mostly stay indoors due to my illness. I work at home managing my new e-commerce startup business when I'm not ill, so part-time. I still like making money and using what's left of my brain. I was taking my self-imposed lunch break at home.

I have zero appetite at this point. The only thing that gives me joy during eating is the internet. I ended up checking out these hookup sites people are using due to an article I read online. I checked out hookups in my area just out of curiosity. FYI, I was not of the hookup era. I wanted to see what type of people there are in my area, who they are, what they wanted, so I created my profile on SnapSexed.com. I love trying things out for shits and giggles.

I'm a very naughty girl, and I thought I would do some online flirting. Hello, Mrs. L. When people call themselves naughty. Okay. I felt good like I was a child again on a mission. I felt this crazy urge just to do something different. I was motivated to find out who these people were. I thought, it's safe, it's just online, and I have self-control because I'm not my illness.

So I created a profile, long curly hair, my less chubby body, still with some clothes, my big pendulous C-cup breasts, face obscured, red lips, sexy, not trashy. I liked what I saw. I took the photos, posted. My first message was from a married 28-year-old in a town 20 minutes away. He was so fucking hot, his dick was top-notch perfect. I just wanted him. I didn't think of anything except for what my body was feeling.

My heart was racing. This is turning into a romance novel. This is exactly what you live for. Anyway, Mrs. L was feeling herself. And then she said, so she loves this feeling. It was like a mini orgasm before an orgasm that this man wants me right now. And I wanted him as well. In 20 minutes, he's getting condoms.

He has my address. It's 2.30 in the afternoon. So he comes over and he shows up in a red flannel shirt. He's a tradesman, I think. Now this has turned porn, like straight up video. Like I can look this up on, like I can look this up on you porn. He's dirty jeans and boots and I did not really care at that point. I did not care who he was.

I just brought him to my basement. I am fucking a hot married 28 year old country boy and he wants me because I'm different from a lot of people in this area, he said. He doesn't know about my illness. He just wants me now and it's good. We did it three times and I thought I died and went to heaven. So we ended it and he wants to see me again. Last Saturday, we met for the second time in the trails near my home.

I like the secrecy and adventure of it. Lainey and Sasha, here's my side. I think having sex with country boy is good for my health. I am kinder to my husband because of it. We were safe and discreet, and it's a mutually assured destruction because we are married and we like our regular lives. I don't know if she meant to say destruction. Distraction.

I think she meant to say distraction. I feel good about my body and mind at the same time where I am with country boy. I still have sex with my husband and perform better, I think. He seems to be happy with me, but he has no clue. I don't mind if my husband sleeps with other women. I love our life together, but I need something else. Our small town is so small, and I'm known to be the only brown girl married to a white man. So I don't want any gossip, but I want some privacy from neighbors

and freedom from my husband to avoid scrutiny. What should I do? I've spoken to my husband a while ago before my illness about experimenting sexually with other people. We did not speak about it again due to our hectic lives. Should I tell him I want an open marriage? Am I forcing that on him? He's done everything for me, and this seems like a huge betrayal,

but I don't see myself growing old with anyone else. His whole family is supporting me during my bouts of chronic illness. I feel like the worst person in the world for wanting this. I really want it, and I'm determined to make it happen. Any advice on how to approach this would be great. Sincerely, Mrs. L. Well, do you need a cigarette right now? I feel like this was like your dream question.

Let me just like take a hit of my vape. Totally. I think that's what needs to happen. We'll take a beep. Whoa. This is not where I thought this was going to go. Well, I think if you're going to have an open marriage, one needs to talk about the open marriage before making it an open marriage.

Yeah. Um, that is super sketchy to me and I appreciate that Mrs. L is like super honest with us and this is where, where she's at in her life and she's feeling so good and she likes being this naughty girl. But, um, this is going to get her in trouble if she doesn't, um, press stop real soon. She needs to really chill for a second and, um, evaluate what she's doing because there's going to be, she's already done a lot of damage to this marriage that she really, really loves so much.

Do you know what I mean? Yeah. I'm scared. I'm a little bit scared. Yeah. I think for her. Look, I'm supportive of the, if you want, like you want, you want what you want in the sense of, you know, you love and respect your husband, but you just want the physicality.

But I don't think you can keep doing it without him knowing. No. Yeah. No. He needs to be part of this equation. And if you want an open marriage and you've talked to him about it before, he obviously wasn't like, no way. This is disgusting.

This isn't the life we live. He was obviously maybe a little bit curious. So I think that while you've had some really hot fucking sex with the country boy, you need to stop that. And then you need to refocus on your marriage. Well, you don't have to like stop it forever. No, no. I'm saying stop currently.

Yeah. Yeah, pause, hit pause. Hit pause. And tonight, talk to your man, your husband. Your husband, not country boy. About your openness and encourage him to open up his account on whatever the fuck. And maybe you can like make a game of it and find a partner for him. You seem to like nail that down real quick.

So you are experienced now. Open an account for him and then, you know, then you have your account and keep doing your thing. Okay, but we can't be, we can't gloss over the fact that she has cheated on her husband three times already. Twice in their basement, one in a trail? Yeah. You know, so does she come clean? Oh, I knew you were going to say that.

No, listen, the thing is, is that sometimes, and many people have said this before me, right? Coming clean and unburdening yourself is also in a way inflicting hurt. Yeah. Right? Like, I know what you're saying is you're saying be honest because that's the best way to be a person. And it's being honorable. But before you get to that, like, when that person finds out, all they see is red and hurt.

Like, they're not saying, you are an honorable person. Right. Thank you for respecting me by telling me the truth now. Right? Like, you're hurting them. So like there are a lot of times where people want to come clean because they're unburdening themselves and that's, there have been people who've said, who've been on the receiving end of that being like, fuck, I didn't need that.

Yeah. But people say that when there's been like a kiss or there's been like a flirty text. People don't typically say that when they've fucking done the deed with another person multiple times. Like this is complicated. I don't think there's like one right thing to do. It depends. Like, I don't know how the husband is going to react.

And I don't know what essentially the goal is here. Because here's the thing. Her body gives her pain. Now she's had some relief. You come clean and he doesn't take it well. Everybody's in pain emotionally. Then you have to work to get through that betrayal. Right?

You can't go fucking on the side or you can't like rush his recovery. If the husband gets mad, it can't be like, oh, are you still mad? Because like, when can we get to part two? I only told you so I could get to part two of having an open marriage. You see what I mean? I know what you mean. Like, what is the, as a business plan, see it as a business plan. What's the business plan here?

What's her end goal? Her end goal is to fuck her husband and a bunch of other people. Right. But, you know, the thing is, I'm a little bit confused. And listen, I don't know much about the illness. I do know, yes, that Lady Gaga had it and it does cause a lot of pain. I don't understand how having sex with this country boy has taken away the physical illness. I'm a little bit confused by that, right?

She's like, I've been fucking this dude and I feel fucking great. Yeah. I didn't know that that was a cure. Oh, I think that like those kinds of sexual experiences, any kind of euphoria in your body is connected to, for sure. Okay. Yes. But like if we're talking so chronic, so much pain that she has had to stop working in the

financial industry, has had to work from home, can't really get out of bed. I just didn't know a deep dick could do so much, so much positive stuff. My point being, are we sure that this isn't just for some shits and giggles right now and that euphoria will have a long lasting effect? I'm thinking that this is just like a sliver in time and that when she checks herself for a second, she'll realize that this is not exactly the way to go. That's a good point. The other good point is like, listen, if you just want a deep dicking, why are you going

back to the same dick? Like, don't you want some variety? Right. But all of this. Yes. So I'm a little bit concerned about the attachment she's forming to plaid shirt. Country dude. Yeah.

Country boy. Right. Country boy. I don't know. My gut here is you've done something. I'm very sad for Mrs. L that she's been in so much pain. I mean, God, that fucking breaks my heart. But I can't pretend that just because she has a chronic illness, she's allowed to fucking

cheat on her husband, lie to her husband, and disrespect the relationship. That's not cool with me. So for me, I say congrats that you found a cure, that country dick has made you feel better. But you need to come clean. you need to talk to your husband, I would give this advice to anybody who is cheating on their partner. You have to tell them. Or stop. Or stop both, ideally, but until you've reached that point in your relationship with your husband that you've decided that you both want an open

relationship. You can't fucking willy-nilly an open relationship without the other person being down with it too. No. So I appreciate your honesty. Thank you for telling us this, but you have done some shady shit and you need to fucking come clean. Also, yeah. Also, you're going to get caught soon. Of course she is. She's in a fucking small town

fucking in trails. So I feel like, you know. Someone is going to be like, oh, hey. I just want you to handle this because you're going to get caught soon. Like if you're in a small town and he's coming over

and like this is so cliche but this is how it happens and a car is parked outside your house. Like, yeah, you're going to get caught soon. So, do something about it. At least you can control it. But you have a couple of options here. You can do what Sasha says and come clean with everything, or you can be like, you know,

make this a shady laney and just… Listen, you know your husband, though, and you know how the reaction is going to be and the pain management there, and pain in so many different ways, right? Like, I just… To me, I'm not trying to be shady. I'm trying to mitigate pain for everybody. but inevitably the pain is going to be transferred to our husband. He's going to find out that she's on this sex text.com or whatever. Something's going to happen. And then the transfer of pain

is still there. Yeah. I, however you can mitigate pain by handling it and not getting caught. That's the way you're going. Yeah. Okay. Fine. That's not very useful for me, but this is so complicated. And unless like, I feel like we need to know how husband's going to handle it. But Sash, you're… It's not complicated. It's a full-on textbook. I'm cheating on my partner. What should I do? You tell them. Bye. Okay. Next, please. Hi, Sash and Lainey. I have a Game of Thrones dilemma. Oh, no, Sash. You don't even watch it. Nope. I have a good friend, N. We were family friends and neighbors growing up and in some ways are closer to being family than friends. She's gone through a hard time in the last few

years and in our friend group is known to be very sensitive and prone to crime. Oh, she's known to be. Yeah, the friend N. Okay. We find ourselves tiptoeing so as not to hurt her feelings. Anyway, to the Game of Thrones dilemma, my husband and I are diehard fans and have been watching since season one and even read some of the books. We listen to podcasts and read articles between episodes, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.

Another friend in our group, V, is also a Game of Thrones fan. V bumps heads with N. They sort of compete in the group and don't 100% get along. N has never watched or been interested in Game of Thrones, but last week suddenly announced that she has skimmed through Game of Thrones and fast-forwarded through some disturbing parts and is now caught up. I'm almost certain she's lying. There's no way she watched 67 episodes,

and furthermore, you can't skim through Game of Thrones. You can't. For the premiere, N invited us over to watch, which we declined because we have kids and our TV is better, and frankly, I don't want to watch with a fair-weather fan. And V ended up coming over to watch with us. we had fun watching with V and my husband invited her

over again for dinner in Game of Thrones again this week it may become a thing my question is is this mean of me N doesn't know V came over but I think her feelings

would be hurt if she knew so we haven't mentioned it I feel I feel guilty because I don't want to watch it with her should I just invite her already am I being a bitch

I should also mention I'm a bit irritated with N at the moment for unrelated reasons am I lashing out at her by watching with her frenemy V overthinking this

S yeah you're being a mean girl you're being a total mean girl you're being a fucking mean girl And read the very last line to prove that you are being a mean girl. Yeah. Which is, lady, read that last line so it really gets hammered home. Am I being a bitch?

I should also mention I'm a bit irritated with Ed at the moment for unrelated reasons. Am I lashing out at her by watching with her frenemy V? Yes. Yes. I mean, I know that people take Game of Thrones or any sort of must-watch television very seriously. I do. I love it. And I don't like people fucking, like, if…

I'm in a movie theater and somebody is talking – like, I have a friend who's talking to me. I fucking want to murder them. I hate talkers when I'm trying to watch shit. Right. But I would never take it so seriously than to not invite somebody over. Listen, I take Avengers seriously. I take a lot of things seriously, meaning I love it.

Yeah. And there are certain rules, right? Like, I don't want spoilers. Of course. And I like talking about it with people. See, but you're a talker. But, yeah. During, too, aren't you?

During? Fuck no. Oh, no. Okay. Yeah. I don't even like watching Game of Thrones with other people. Okay. Yeah.

He doesn't watch it, but I, like, a Game of Thrones viewing party would be the worst thing. Right. I like being alone. Yes. I like, you know, I give him the warning half an hour before the show starts. I say to Jacek, don't talk to me. Leave me alone. You will lose something.

Right. If you dare interrupt me. So I take it seriously. I don't talk during, but I like talking after. I like reading the articles too. I like writing my own articles about it. I like, you know, going online and reading theories. So I'm that person too.

That said, like, I don't demand that people who enjoy Game of Thrones enjoy it exactly the way I watch it. And S, you don't get to say that you don't take someone seriously because they don't take it seriously enough when they're trying to be part of this moment. Like, I think that if this was the case, then no one should be allowed on your terms to have, like, caught up just in time to get to this final season. Are you saying that, like, the only people welcome to the final season of Game of Thrones are the people who put in their time from game, like, from episode one, like you? I don't, to me, that's just not, it's just not the way to, like, dictate rules around art. I agree.

I agree. it's a little bit like yeah it's a little bit too totalitarian what is the word totalitarian yeah um like oh who's to say that this friend isn't a fan just because she like skimmed through some shit or just like jumped the things that were disturbing like she's still in it she still wants to be part of it and to not let someone be a part of something to me is just like mean well it's also you know the fair weather fan thing like i don't believe that you can skim through game of thrones listen nobody from what i know no one understands the fucking series anyway i 30 of it i listen i think that a lot of us who are super into it have watched

it so many times and read so much that yes we pretty much understand but at the same time many people were like posting and having like suggesting like shortcuts prior to the premiere of this season for people who weren't involved before to get caught up, like a Cole's Notes. And that's fair. You don't want, you don't think HBO wanted as many people as possible tuning in? Like, the show wants more eyeballs to be appreciated.

Like, if you love something, why wouldn't you want other people to appreciate it? I just think that this is, like, this is so, yes, it's mean girly and fine. Like, you can invite whoever you want to your home I get that you don't have to invite N

but your qualifications of whether or not she belongs in your little club are gross oh yes

let's leave it like that but also if you're gonna invite V then you better invite N don't be a dick well whatever I mean

either way I kinda don't care at this point I don't want her to invite N because now I'm scared like N's gonna come over and she and V

are gonna like pop quiz her like well what happened in episode 9 of season whatever you don't know how could you not know that how are you a real fan because she's already skeptical that you know it's not possible for you to skim so i don't want that mean shit continuing yeah i listen sorry to dump on you but clearly you have some self-awareness

because you're writing to us so hopefully this is the response you were looking for that we're telling you to like back it up back at the fuck up yeah but what maybe i would rather you write us back and give us your underlying reason for being mad at N because this isn't cutting it. Well, that's it. The deeper issue here is you're, you're being spiteful. So figure out why you're irritated with N and resolve that before you, you know, you start to like pretend that it's another reason, i.e.

Game of Thrones, which is not the excuse here. It's very random. Yeah. Because her Game of Thrones skills are lacking. Anyway. Yeah. Hi, Sasha and Lainey. Thank you for answering this question in advance.

You're welcome. I married my husband five years ago. I love him to death and there's nothing that will ever change that. We were both 30 when we got married and when it was time to talk about taking his last name, I really didn't think much about it. It was what women do did so I had no qualms. As I said, I love him. I'm devoted to him, so why not?

Well, I'm sure you can guess where I'm going with this because lately I've been really wanting to change my last name back to my maiden name. I'm a strong career focused woman, so why am I not owning myself, name and all? Sasha Laney, how do I even start to approach this with my husband without hurting him or insulting him? Help, Victoria. Oh, yeah. What's the refund policy on a last name?

Yeah. Well, can I just ask you, did you ever debate taking Jacek's? No, P.S. I don't even know how to pronounce Jacek's. Like, I avoid it at all costs. Yeah. What is it? Well, do you want, like, the way I pronounce it or the, like, me doing the Polish accent

way? The way that you would pronounce. Well, both, I guess, at this point. The way I pronounce it is Shanovich. Shanovich. Okay. And how is it in Polish? Shanovich.

Okay. Okay. Well, there. We've done it. I feel like I've accomplished now. Okay. But you never thought about taking his last name? Okay.

Was there ever a discussion? Because he… Aren't you kind of old… I think Jacek's old school kind of traditional in a way. Well, but the thing is there's two old schools. Like if we want to go old versus old, Chinese culture is super old. And in Chinese culture, as you know, we don't… Women don't take the name.

Correct. so um my mom took my dad's last name but just saying like i mean yeah it was a thing like it's not that i didn't grow up around people yeah around women taking men's last names traditionally right um i don't know i wish we almost had duanna here because i feel like she would lay down the law and like what names and maiden names mean and and all that sort of stuff i i kind of am torn And sometimes I'm of the mindset, like, a name's just a name. Who cares? It doesn't really make a relationship, right?

Like, by her taking her husband's last name five years ago, it wasn't like it made their relationship stronger. She just gets to sign a check here and there with that last name. But then the flip side of it is, like, I love my last name. I didn't debate taking Corey's for one second because, like, that's me. It has, like, heritage and lineage and all of those things. So I understand why our writer wants to make the switch back. Like it means something to people.

But on the flip side, I guess my other point is like, it's also like for some people, not a big deal, but for all purposes for right now, obviously it's a big deal. She wants to change it back. And I think she has the right to do that. Yeah. And I think what you have to do is make your husband feel secure about that name change because of course he's probably going to be slightly insulted. Yeah. Um, yeah, I think I would just probably really just try to drill home the point that

a, this doesn't mean anything. It's not like you're looking to fucking hook up with someone. It's not like for, for, for like putting on Facebook that you're single and don't have a last name. It's none of that for you, for your career, for the way that it makes you feel. You want your maiden name back. Yeah. You know, like pull on those heartstrings a little bit and has nothing to do with what is in the relationship or the strength of it. I just want to say too that, you know, what I appreciate about this note is she's not asking us if, if she should change her name back. She's already decided.

She's like, how do I approach this with my husband? Yeah. Like that's the piece of advice she's asking. That's a good point. Which I think that it, I just want to like, like, I just want to flip that back at you, Victoria, because you're sure, you're very certain. It is very clear in your note that your decision has been made. So I don't say, I don't want to say congratulations.

I want to say like, this is, I feel like this is the easy part. The decision is the hard part. Yeah. The easy part is communicating your decision. Which can sometimes be hard for people. Because you don't want to hurt feelings. I feel like you frame it in, I feel like you frame it in a bigger picture of identity while you're in a relationship.

Like, you aren't the same person on the first day that you're married as you are on the 1,000th day that you're married, right? You go through things, you experience things, you have setbacks, you have wins, and ultimately all those little steps transform you along the way, and the goal, the difficulty of marriage is changing together at the same time. Totally. Or at least if you're not changing together, then you're accepting the changes in the other person and working together to make, to be compatible as you evolve.

And so I would just position it like that. Like, here's who I was five years ago. I love you five years ago. That hasn't changed. I still love you now. But in the last five years, here's how my thoughts have changed. and the things that I want have changed. And I feel like if you speak about it in terms of identity and growing together

and learning how to adjust to each other in that marriage, I don't know that it's hurtful. It means that both of you are just kind of… Growing, evolving. Yeah. And I think that's what everybody wants out of a relationship anyway, right? And if you guys have this strong relationship, to communicate those feelings are more important than the change of the name, right?

And like the fact that you guys can communicate that way and if he can accept that, which I'm figuring he will. I don't think he married like a total fucking, you know, I don't know, controlling dude. Yeah. That he'll probably be okay with it. But I would prepare yourself for probably like a little bit of like, ugh, like you might feel a little bit of like pain or insecurity from it. But yeah, as Lainey said, that I think, yeah, the hard part is realizing what you want.

Yeah. And now just get it. Yeah. Um, but I, and maybe there is some like, maybe you can be like, okay, well I'm going to switch my name. But if we do have kids, if that's something you want to do, then of course they'll take your last name or something like that. So that he doesn't feel like you're like, bye, I'm just now going to be this like autonomous

human being without you. Right. Like you want to still make him feel secure. Yeah, for sure. I mean, there's all that kind of massaging, but in that it's about like your joint identities and your independent identities. You know what I mean? like clearly this means something like it means so much to her that she's like it's about her

identity so if she if it doesn't happen for her like it has serious ramifications for the marriage itself totally and i can't imagine him not wanting you to feel full in your identity yeah and i think if you play that card yeah then you'll be fine do you think this is kind of like me being obsessed with, like, plastic surgery right now. How does this have anything to do with plastic surgery? Like, if I get a new face, is that… Are you going to still be Lainey if you get a new face? If you ask…

Are you getting a new face? No. You've been kind of… Nope. Nope. Nope. You've been sort of dropping these hints. Like, we went out on Thursday and you said,

it's going to be a slippery slope. Well, I told you… I think people know my obsession with cool sculpting. Which is going to happen. It's happening. Like, I'm trying to put it out there. It needs to happen for me. I feel like it's going to.

Right. And then I feel like after cool sculpting, I might be like, hey, hey, what else can I do? You keep on talking about getting your eyelids lifted. Yeah. They're starting to droop. They are not starting to droop. They are.

It's not your face. So you're not the one. Okay. Fine. Fine. Fine. And then after I get my eyelids done, then I'm… What's next?

What's after the eyelids? Well, really, it's just my eyelids. Okay. I'm pretty happy with everything else. However, maybe that means I should… Is this imminent? Like, how do I, when do I need to be like, oh, this is lady's new face and body. Listen, we know people who've been doing Botox since they were 22 years old as preventative

and it's amazing. It looks so good and it doesn't look, Hollywood celebrities have given Botox a bad name because tons of regular people have done their research and it looks so good. I'm just haunted by how bad it looks on some people though. I need people to be more open about where they get their fucking work done. Yes. I think, like, why can't Charlize Theron just be like, hey, oh, hey. And Demi Moore.

Yeah. Demi Moore looks amazing. Look at Demi Moore, right? Demi Moore looks amazing. But then when you look at someone. If I said to you, I'm going to Demi Moore's doctor, you'd be like, Oleni, go. No, I would say plus one. Can I come?

Yes. But then you see someone like Courtney Cox, who would also have the intel. She's friends with Jennifer Aniston. Yeah. And she fucking botched her fucking face up. So I need people to be more transparent because I have been thinking. See, I hate this about you because you've been talking about this for weeks now. Actually, months.

And now I'm like, now every time I look in the mirror, I'm like, do I need an eyelid lift? And now I'm starting to think, do I need to go and like at least just get a consultation? You're curious. Well, I'm curious. Because I just, but you know what? I'm curious because I want to go in and then be like, you're perfect. Go away. But I'm curious now.

Well, listen, as you said, I want more people to talk about it and give us their secrets. But you know where you're going. No, I don't. I'm doing the research right now. Okay. Will you? Like, I have a million questions already. I just feel like you're so freaky that I can't imagine you going,

is the eyelid surgery under the knife? I don't know. I need to start doing my research. So this is not going to fucking happen next week. You know me. When I do something, I go, like, I CSI the shit out of it. I know. Which is why I've been putting it out there so that people can tell me their stories

and then I can build my question list and I can go in there and interrogate multiple people and figure it out. Okay. This is the thing. I don't rush the shit. I know you don't, but you've been talking about it a lot. Like, you're preparing me for the new day that you come back and you are no longer a lady. No, trust me.

I will be interrogating many people first. And I'll be asking the tough questions. Like, I actually want to talk to doctors and be like, do you take responsibility for the way some people look? Some people look great. Yes. Those people should be coming forward. And then the people who look the way they do should also be coming forward and talking about what they should have done. Yes.

Yes. Right? Because I do think that it's gotten a bad name because of bad work. But there's so much good. Yeah. There's so much good out there. Well, now after this podcast turns off, we're going to have to go over who you think is good and who is bad.

Okay, fine. And on that note, keep your questions coming to me at Sasha at LadyGossip.com. And subscribe to us where you get your podcasts, leave comments, leave reviews, and we'll be back next week. Bye. Bye. We'll be right back.