What's Your Drama - What Lainey Cannot Unsee (or Unhear)

Episode Date: October 31, 2019

Is Cody Simpson a Miley Cyrus rebound or is he legit? Lainey recounts being scarred for life as we examine how to deal with your mom getting freaky with her new boyfriend (near you). When do you give up trying to find the one? And lastly, what are the dos and don’ts of flirting when you’re in a monogamous relationship and how transparent do you have to be about it with your current partner?We hope you enjoy the show and now that we are back I need you to start sending me all your DRAMA! So keep your advice questions coming my way at [e-mail].  We also love hearing from you to be sure to send us feedback on twitter at @sasha_tong and @laineygossip and Instagram at @lostandfoundapothecary and @laineygossip. And of course subscribe wherever you get your podcasts, and make sure to leave feedback and comments because it helps others find our show! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Lainey, didn't you see your parents' fuck one time? I didn't see, I heard. And the hearing was almost worse. The fuck? Why are we talking about this? Is this this week? This is this week. Do you keep hearing podcast ads, like this one for example,

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Get started at ACAST.com slash advertise. Hi, Sadie. Hi, it's Sasha. And this is What's Your Drama, where we judge your life choices. Because you asked us to. I know. It's not our problem. It's your problems that you're sending to us.

But before that, I am dying. I've been dying. I've avoided talking to you about this because I've been saving it for What's Your Drama. Yes. I need to know what you think of Cody Simpson. I want to talk about this forever and ever and ever. I am, so first off, Miley is basically like the thesis to all of what we do here at What's Your Drama.

Yeah. Like every relationship problem, I feel like I could then sink right back to Miley because Miley's just seemingly doing everything right and wrong all at the same time. She is the patron saint of What's Your Drama. Okay. Yes, totally. Oh my God. Okay.

So Cody Simpson. Okay. What I cannot get my mind wrapped around right now is why the boy doesn't wear tops ever. And I can't, have you seen his Instagram? I had to do a deep dive on his Instagram. Yeah. There's never a shirt on him. He's on a swimming team.

What? So swimmers don't swim with clothes on or shirts on, so. They don't walk around life with shirts on? A lot of their time is spent training. Like, lots and lots of time training. There's no need, you can always slap on a fabric on top of your body. My point being, I think it's, why it's tripping me out is, I don't think I could ever be with somebody who cared so much about how they look.

Do you know what I mean? Like, we look at Jacek… Oh, I did not think that you were going to say that. What do you mean? That would be too much pressure for me. Like, I look over at Jacek. He looks… He looks…

It's never anything new. It's just… It's reliable. There's no effort. It's reliable Under Armour. You know, it's a sweatsuit all the time. When I look at Corey, it's like a, you know, a little skate kid. Like, I don't need to step up my game.

It just looks the same all the time. I guess that is, okay, I guess it's round about the thing that I thought you were going to say. I couldn't, I think that he's, his body, like, listen. I don't like his body. For people who are going to be shirtless, like, that's a great way to be shirtless. Sure. Like, come on, that shot of her with her hand down his pants? Fuck yeah.

Like that was, I will give you that. That was hot. You, even you have to concede that that was hot. What bothered me though is what, I don't like, his pants are always so low slung and it's like, okay, great. You shave. I get it. You wax.

And I don't know. It's just a little bit too prepubescent body for me. It's, it's stacked. It's tight. I like the hand down the pants, but I'm not, I'm not, I don't, I don't, I don't understand it. I thought what you were going to say is, like, I couldn't be with someone who is that much fitter than I am.

Like, that was fucking… You know what? I've been with guys who are way fitter than me. And I'm like, I'm all… It was fine. Yeah? Because I was young and probably I was fitter. But yes, I could…

Right now… You're right. I don't think I could be around that kind of body right now. But it goes back to what I'm saying and pointing to Yasik about that's why we pick the people were with because it's less pressure. Oh, I don't want that fucking pressure.

Listen, I'm not saying that you're disgusting, Yassik. You're great. You have a, I've never seen you with your shirt off, but I'm just saying,

Cody, this, this, this, he's a, he's a different level of athleticism. Yes, I could do some cardio. Listen, not saying that he can't. What is this? Sorry.

That's pretty damn good. Listen, of course you do. Of course you do. You know what? I appreciate. Cody Simpson is fucking 44. Well, I think he might be better still. You know who is 44?

I appreciate Cody Simpson more than fucking Leonardo DiCaprio. Oh, God, yeah. Because, like, he is with women who have such, like, the best bodies, right? The most perfect bodies ever. And he's like, fuck, I'm fucking Leo. And, well, that, that. Like, he's gross. Yes, he is.

He's gross. Oh, he's a disappointment. Yeah. He's, on so many levels, he's a disappointment. Anyway, I appreciate Cody because Miley is hot. Like, Miley's body is A+. So, you know what? Great.

They're matching each other. Good for her. She looks at her lover for now, however long this will last. So, this is the question. How long do you think it's going to last? If you had to guesstimate. Until, like, 2020. Oh, okay.

January. Yeah. I say that this is the thing to end the year and then it'll be done. New year, new peace. Okay. How about that? Yeah. What do you think?

I was going to say like eight weeks. Yeah, about that. That's about eight weeks. She's breezing through some peeps, which is fine. I'm down with that. Look, they're fucking… But why would you bother putting that… I feel like she would…

I know she has talked about the fact that she's put her life out there and so she accepts all the criticism and positive stuff that comes from that. But I wonder why so quickly she put that out there, this relationship. Like she's putting… Like, wouldn't that be a no-go for you, like, if you're Liam? Like, you've just ended your marriage. Right. Wouldn't you hold back on flaunting your new relationships online?

Like, it's one thing to have them. Yeah. Great. He knows about them. Yeah. Isn't it another to be shoving your hand down, like, a new dude's pants or, like, going down on a girl on a yacht? Like, at what point do you just realize that, like, not everyone needs to know it at that

fucking moment? Like, this is happening in real time she's showing us. Yeah. I think that's kind of odd. I think that in real life, that's weird, right? That's what people try and do after they break up with somebody in real life and you don't, like, Facebook it, Instagram it, and you wait a certain amount of time. I don't know that they have a choice when you're that famous and when you're that

Miley and everybody's up in your business anyway. Meaning it's going to come out anyway, so you might as well do it yourself. Yeah, she might as well just be like, whatever, you know, I'm always Instagramming everything about my life and this guy's over all the time. He's in between my legs, so I might as well show you. like. I don't hate it. Okay. I don't hate it. And besides, like, there's been so much ugliness between her and Liam. There have? What? You know, when first… What I don't really love is, if we go way, way back, when they first got back together, the narrative

was Miley is over her wild days and became oatmeal and safe and worthy of this guy. And And then when they broke up, there were all kinds of reports of she's, oh, there's Miley being Miley again, and poor this guy Liam. And there were other stories, right? Then it started coming up. Both sides started leaking, and there were stories about whether or not Liam was allegedly rumored to be drinking. And I don't know.

Like, there is a part of me that believes Liam is that guy one-on-one who's kind of mean. Yeah. Yeah. No, and I don't… Yes, I agree. You know the hot mean guy? Yeah.

That's probably what's happening here. That's sort of the other… the picture that, like, Team Miley is painting. Like, here was a person who kind of allegedly became maybe a little nasty when he started drinking. Yeah. And is, I mean, is Liam Hemsworth like a movie star? That would be a no. So you're already like the third Hemsworth.

Yeah. Your brother is fucking Thor and also hilarious. Yeah. And Chris Hemsworth. Yeah. And then your wife is Miley Cyrus. I don't know. It all adds up to me like all kinds of psychological inferiority complex.

Yeah. Listen, I'm glad she's not with him, but I just… He's so hot though. Oh, it's… Yeah. He really is beautiful. Anyway. He's the one who checks both of our…

Yes. Yeah. That would get me in so much trouble. Can I just say one thing about Cody Simpson though? So wait, before you say it, do you think he's good looking, Cody Simpson? Is that your type? That was where I was going. Oh.

Okay. Okay, so I feel like when I look at his face and his name and his age, none of that is adding up. He looks like he's 40. Oh, right. Well, he's Australian, he's an older, like an old face. It's probably because he has a very distinguished nose. That could maybe be why.

He doesn't look 22 years old to me. No. No, no, no, no. For sure deep 30s, but who knows? Yeah. He's 20. What did you say he was? 22.

That's weird. I'm saying. Mostly because we've interviewed, like I've definitely interviewed him, written stories on him when he had like a mini career. So was I doing that when he was like 14? Yeah. That's fucked. Like I think I've interviewed him.

Yeah, I'm sure you have. And again, and when I look at him now, like he looks like he is, he's got a divorcee's face. I will say though. Right? Yes, that is right. But I will say that when I've listened to some of his music on Miley's Instagram, it actually sounds pretty good.

Yeah? Yeah, it's not bad. Okay. so all right i'm i'm like here for it not here for it we'll see how that goes okay well i just wish he'd grow some pubic hair i just feel like if you're 22 yeah and you already look old yeah grow some pubes so let's get to the drama of the week yeah okay here we go dear sasha and laney i'm 35 and feel like i'm a teenager all over again my mother and father got divorced when i was in high school my dad remarried five years later and my mom remained single because while my dad was

busy finding love and starting a new family. My mom made sure that me and my sister were taken care of. I do feel bad that we took dating away from my mother, but we were too young. It's not like we told her she couldn't. I hated seeing her lonely though, but in retrospect, I never encouraged it. For that, I feel badly. Anyway, cut to last year, my aunt got my mother on a dating app and she started casually dating. Then a few months in, she found John and they have been hot and heavy ever since. I really need to emphasize hot and heavy. They're all over each other all the time i'm happy for my mom i really am but watching her make out with him is too much to wrap my mind around my mom and dad were never affectionate so this adds to the jarring effect

i want her to be happy but it's really gross she's always on his lap he's always fondling her neck and thighs and when they kiss i can see tongue oh yeah oh this is like i i have this i don't like it makes me and my sister so uncomfortable i know we are all adults now but She is still my mom. I need your help on how to deal with this. Am I being an unreasonable prude? Any advice on how to stomach this would be appreciated. Signed, Icked Out.

This is amazing. This is, if I ever saw my mom in like sexy time moments, I'd fucking jump out of a building. It's too much. I don't, I know that they have sex lives, but I really don't ever want to see that kind of activity. So then I cut to you. You. Listen.

You. Icked out. Icked out. It needs to sit down. Because you got something else. Yeah. Like, this is nothing. Like, I'm like, oh, so you have to see your mother sit on John's lap and get fondled a

little bit? Whatever. You have nothing on me, icked. Okay. Nothing. I need to, I know I've heard this story, but I need to hear it again. This scarred me. Yeah.

Oh my God. Of course it was. I have, I don't think, yeah, this has left. wounds in me. But maybe all the things that I do stem from this. Stem from. Like how perverted I am. I don't know. Anyway. Ew. Okay. But go. All your sexual fantasies are linked to your mom and dad having sex. Okay. Go. So what the fuck happened? Okay. So my parents got divorced when I was six and they started the process of getting

back together when I was like 14, 15 years old. Which is just wild in itself. Okay. And when I was 15, my family, so the three of us, mom, dad, and me, went on a road trip with another family, like my ma's best friend and her husband and their son. So we went on a road trip and so we'd stay at like the hotel and each family would stay in a room with two double beds. So my family in our room, I'd sleep in a double bed with my ma and dad would sleep in the other bed.

That's normal so far, right? Yep. So I am 15. It's a normal family affair. Right. One night in the middle of the night, I woke up to sounds that I can never unhear. Please let me hear them now. You love doing this role play.

Role play whatever you're doing right now. Fuck you. I don't want to do this role play because I have to relive it. You're making me fucking relive it. Like this is for our writer. You're trying to help. Don't throw this on me. You are enjoying this.

I am. Okay, so moaning and groaning and… Like not loud, like not pornographic style. It wasn't like what you see on Pornhub or hear on Pornhub. It wasn't like… Ah, ah. No, it was… It was just heavy breathing and maybe like a grunt.

Oh. And… No, there wasn't flapping. There might… Yasik, fuck yourself. Okay, go on. Stop. Yasik is slapping his skin right now.

He's loving this too. Okay. Anyway, you wake up to some grunting and some slapping. It's middle of the night. It's dark. And I wake up to sounds. I don't see anything. I don't see.

I just, I just, I can't. But Ma has gone to the other bed. She's in dad's bed. Yeah. And they, it's unmistakable what's happening. It's not like he's not, no one's getting a foot rub. Right. There is.

No one's sick. There is. They were on this road trip and their attraction for each other got so heightened because they were kind of skirting around getting back together and they were so fucking hot for each other that they had to fuck. With you. With me in the next bed. Wow.

Have you told your mom and dad this? Have you talked to them about this? Never speak about this. Never. But they know that you know. Yeah, because then after about five, I don't know, like it, probably I only heard 10 seconds of it, but it felt to me like I was there for half an hour. I screamed.

You screamed. I went, ah! I ripped off the covers and ran into the bathroom, slammed the door and locked the door. And had a fucking meltdown. Remember, I'm 15. Yes. So I am, everything is dramatic. Yes.

Right? Like, you ruined my life. I hate you both. Yeah. I could hear dad, like, freaking out. Yes. Like, he was like, holy fuck, what have we done? Like, she's never going to be okay or some shit in Chinese, right?

Yeah. Like, and my ma is calm as fuck. Yeah. She's like, Yilang, open the door. elaine it's mommy and i'm like yeah no fucking shit i know you are oh my god i love this right and i was like i hate you whatever whatever 15 year olds say to their parents when they're really mad at them yeah but times a million is what i was saying right i hate you fuck you i hate you so much whatever right um i will say i got a car out of it you did not i what you got

back from your trip and they bought you a car? I was 15, so I was training for my driver's license, right? And then, like... Yeah, I get that, but you don't... I didn't get a brand new car, but I got our existing car and they got a new car and I got our existing car. Because that was... Yes! Okay.

That's actually not a bad deal. I'm sorry. Given the scars I've been carrying around, as anybody, like for those of you out there listening and, like, scoffing that I got a car, I want you to picture that you were me. And you were in the room, like literally a meter away from your father penetrating your mother.

No, lady, I can't. Yeah, exactly. Now tell me you deserve a goddamn car. You deserve a new one. Do not step to me, anybody. If anybody out there is about to be like, wow, you're so spoiled, do not step to me until you can visualize what I went through. Again, your father penetrating your mother in the same room as you, and you heard it.

I'm going to give you the skin right now. Yeah, there. Anyway. Horrifying. So going back to our reader. Yes. Writer. Ict?

Ict. I don't feel bad for you. Sorry. I really just feel like that should make her feel better. Okay, but listen. So Ict is 35 years old. Yes. Even if Ict's mom was teen mom, like the youngest your mom could be is 50.

Yeah. So I'm thinking your mother's what, like probably 60? Probably. Yeah. And, and now she's getting like a dude who adores her and desires her and she's living her best life and feeling herself. Like, I know it sucks for you to have to endure it, but I, I feel like you suck it up. Like you're, I'm just so happy for your mom.

Yeah. I feel the same way. Like I would be traumatized, but you can't, what would trump that is just the fact that your mom finally, after giving up her whole entire life to you and your sister. Yeah. Gets to fucking tap some ass. Let her have all of that. Yeah.

And, like, if you, you know, make a fucking sandwich the next time they're fucking deep throating each other. But, like, I think you're just going to have to suck this shit out. A lot of CBD. Yeah. Smoke a shitload of weed. Do what you need to do. But just be happy for your mom.

I do want to add one more thing to this is, like, you know, I said, if your mother was teen mom, then she'd be, like, 50. But chances are she's around 60-ish, I'm going to say. And I also think that this is so exciting because in the past, women ceased to be attractive and desirable after a certain age. I mean, in the extreme old days, it was like beyond 30, you're fucking useless. You have no value anymore as a sexual being, as like a member. Any desire.

Exactly. And the fact that your mother is upholding this new modern woman's value in society where she can be a contributor, she is clearly wise, like, you know, women who are of a certain age have had life experience, they've had work experience, they can be mentors, so you're contributing your wisdom, and she's, like, still clearly an attractive, viable woman sexually. Like, this is so exciting. So I encourage Ick to see it that way.

Like, I'm sorry your ma has to be the experiment of this, the poster woman of this, but it's really, really cool. Yeah, it is. And like, flash, you know, 25 years from now, you're also going to want to be, you know, thought of as attractive and want to fucking have some sex. So let your mom do that. That's right. And again, remember, you weren't in the same room.

Yeah. You should be thankful. Okay. Coming up, what to do when you're in a dry spell. We'll be back. while every other channel is fighting for your customers attention podcasts are where they've already given it no one accidentally listens to a podcast for 45 minutes they choose to be here they trust the voice in their ears and when that voice talks about your brand it doesn't sound like

advertising it sounds like a recommendation from a friend acast gives you that trust at scale digital precision post-read authenticity and performance data that proves it worked Don't fight for attention. Buy it with ACAST. Learn more by visiting ACAST.com slash advertise. Okay. Next question. Hey, Sasha and Lainey. I'm 31 and currently in my last year of my BA and recently got back on the dating seat in this past January after an eight-year-long break. My romantic life has been a series of difficulties and I never had a true relationship. The only guy I've ever really dated at 23 ended our relationship by trying to commit suicide it really messed me up for a long time on top of that I struggled with body issues not fitting into the gay scene

and problems like bad jobs poor friends family drama anxiety and depression thankfully I've made it past these problems and really feel like I've truly come into my own I started seeing someone in February only for him to ghost after a couple of months I then met someone I connected with in a way that I hadn't with 20 odd men that I'd met over the past six months and thought he would be the one. Unfortunately, the timing was off for us. All of these events and my continued failures in this side of my life has left me quite exhausted and emotionally drained. I really wanted to find someone to build something with, but I'm starting to question if I should take a break while I finish my degree or continue to get back on the horse. I'm on the fence because I feel like I've

spent many years building myself up and owning who I am, and that taking a break might be more about a fear of failure than a need for a real break. I also worry if the reason I want to keep trying is because I feel like the time is running out to spare, knowing I'm still young. Is taking a break an excuse to hide again or a reasonable idea given where I am in life with school and work. Mike. Thanks, Mike, for writing in. Yeah.

So Mike has been through it. Yes. Like all of us. Yeah. Trying to find the one, trying to find someone. Yeah. And it's not working out. No.

Listen, I think the dating scene's really hard now. We've talked about this in podcasts before. This is like a whole other landscape and I feel more and more when I talk to our single friends who are in and around this age are pretty fucking not stoked about the scene. You know, there's a lot of dating out there, but there's nobody who's actually good. So I feel your pain. I feel your pain. Whether or not to take a break.

Where do you stand on that, Lainey? I'm confused about what taking a break is. Like not going on the apps, not responding. He's saying just to concentrate, like just to fucking peace out and just concentrate on school. I guess that is what his definition of taking a break would be. Like not trying to search for some dick. Yeah. Yeah.

So like getting off Grindr or whatever, right? Totally. Or whatever app is out there. To me, and listen, it's been a minute since I've been single. I don't really know if, and I guess because there are so many apps out there that you shut them down, you don't participate in that whole process, if that is the mental break from being open to dating and love and possibility. Because I don't know that you, in other ways, other than like canceling the apps from

your phone, deleting them off your phone, whether or not you can take a break from being open and meeting people. Right? And I also think it's a… That's what's confusing to me. I also think it's not possible. When it's in you to find love and it's in you to be ready to settle, you actually can't turn that off.

Like, it's not… That's actually not a thing. Yeah. And so I do appreciate Mike for actually realizing that maybe it is a fear thing that's coming into his head. Yeah. So what I find that a lot of our friends do who are on the single scene and pretty not encouraged by what's out there is, yeah, they take off all the apps off their phone because that can heighten a level of disappointment like nobody's business. And then you just open yourself up to the fucking real world.

Because maybe that is what this break could look like, right? Is like, no more tech shit, but just be out in the world, meet people organically through your class, through studying, through whatever the fuck. And maybe that will be enough for you right now. Like, I don't think you should shut down and fucking become a hermit. That's not going to be healthy for you. But obviously the dating scene right now isn't what you want it to be. It's, like, too draining for you.

So just live in the real world and take off all the apps. That would be the right thing to do right now, it seems like. And, again, like, you know, a lot of people do need very basic social media breaks. I mean, God knows celebrities do. They announce it all the time. Like, I'm going to be off of Instagram for a while. I think, like, Channing Tatum did it a few months ago, right? Like, that they felt.

And so those apps, the dating apps are also a form of social media and there is, yeah, there is an effect it can have on you. So for sure, I agree with you. Delete all those. But in terms of a mindset, I don't think you should be turning off the part of your soul that is open to meeting new people and making connections. Because that's not going to do you any favors. In real time.

That's right. Yeah. And you are in, like, I don't know what, I don't know what Mike's school situation is, but you are in a situation where you, like, do have contact with people. Yeah. Like, you know, academically, you're out there, you're talking to people, you're, whoever, in your field, you're, you're, like, exchanging ideas. That can be also very enlightening, illuminating, inspiring.

and see how what the effect of that, like turning off the apps, what effect that has on your ability to connect with people in those settings. You might find a sense of fulfillment there. But I get it. I mean, I'm tired for you. I would be tired out there as well, like on these apps. We have friends, as you mentioned, who are like scrolling through these apps and it's just… It's endless disappointment for the most part. But that's what I'm saying. They do that too. They like, okay, like no more of these fucking apps.

I'm just going to go see if I can like meet people out in the real world. Because that feels better for them. It doesn't feel like a lot of expectation. It doesn't feel like they're setting themselves up for disaster every fucking time they swipe. So that would be, I think that, and I also think Mike's kind of, Mike knows this too. He knows where he's at. He knows where his sensitivities are and his insecurities are. So I would say, you know yourself, so just listen to what you're saying, which is you

don't want to pull away so much because of the fear of rejection or the fear of disappointment. Yeah. So don't let yourself do that. That… it really isn't going to do you any good. And you know what I would do? Like, this is kind of a little out there, but not really. You're single, you're 31, the world is out there. take trips on your own yes if i was single that's what i do yeah i travel like and it doesn't have

to be far i travel like i'd see if i could get to cities like i do a circle cities that are like an hour and a half to two hours away and spend a weekend yeah walk the city walk the town and And it's amazing like how… I'm generally not a friendly person. I can concur. Yeah. I can vouch for that. Yeah. But when I'm on my own somewhere and in that mindset… again, we're talking about

mindsets, like shifting your perspective, turning one thing off or turning something on, I could see myself, like if I was dropped into a strange place and nobody knows where I am, opening parts of myself up that I don't use very often. Like either a friendliness… Well, I don't really have a lot of that, but like a, but a willingness to at least have a conversation with someone from that place to learn more about that place. And you never know what can happen. Like, Mike, go away.

That's the magic of all of this, right? You never know when you're going to meet the person and why not make a vacation out of it. Yeah. Yeah. I agree. I mean, I don't want to promise that you'll meet somebody, Mike. Like, I just want to, like, make you excited to go out and discover new things now that

you're not on your phone all the time. Yeah. Right? Totally. Keep us posted on this one. I'm curious. Or only turn the app on when you're elsewhere. Right.

Like, if you're in Montreal or if you're in Vancouver. Yeah. I'm a city fan. Away from home. Yeah. Mike, keep us posted. Let us know. Yeah.

Because I do think you're almost at, like, a really good outlook on it. It just is a little bit of a tweak in perspective. Instead of approaching it with fear, approach it with excitement. I'm going to turn all this shit off and I'm going to do this. I'm going to go to, I don't know, like Rhode Island this weekend. Sure. I'm just saying Rhode Island because Jennifer Lawrence just got married. Okay.

But whatever. But really, and I will go back to the age thing. You're 31. Like, you don't need to lock and load this shit right now. You have plenty of time. Like, I didn't find my person until I was, I don't know, I'm making it up, but probably like three or four years afterwards. I don't know when I met Corey.

But like, do you know what I mean? You've got time. You've got time. Okay, last question. Hi, ladies. I want to get your take on flirting while in a relationship. I've been married for 12 years and there is a guy at work that I like, not in any romantic way. I just like him as a person. We have good chats and it takes the edge off of our really boring work environment. I admit he's attractive and I have a suspicion he finds me attractive, but there is no way it would go further than what we are doing now. It's truly just fun to feel appreciated by another man and it makes me feel good. But

sometimes when I come home, that feeling does linger and I do think about him. Again, not in a sexual way, but in a way where I just feel satisfied. I haven't told my husband about him because there's really nothing to tell, but I'm sure if he was witness to me and my colleague joking around and having our typical in-depth conversations, he wouldn't be too happy. So is harmless flirting bad? Am I doing anything wrong? Am I playing with fire and not know it? All right. Oh, you have a funny look on your face because you're like, fucking flirt your face off. Is that what you're thinking? Well, I just…

You don't see the problem. I stumbled on the part where if her husband were to see the way she interacts with her colleague, he wouldn't be too happy. But then she described it as harmless flirting. So I'm assuming that… I get that. I'm assuming that the harmless flirting is joking around with each other, teasing each other, laughing.

Yeah. I mean, nobody is fingering each… Like, no… Like, you know, they're not… He's not fingering her. Like, okay. So I don't know why the husband would… Like, I'm bumping up against all that.

Well, listen, I think I, so wait, if I saw, because I always go back to Corey, if I saw Corey flirting with a girl, okay, so wait, let me rewind even more. I'm okay if people are flirting. I think that's fucking healthy. I think it's good for your self-esteem. I think it ends up being good for your relationship later on. Yeah. I think it's just good in a whole.

Like, great. Yeah. But I wouldn't want to see Corey or a girl flirting with Corey. I don't want to see that. I think it's fine if it happens but why would I want to see that you know like I that would be weird because like don't you understand that like what I don't need to see his dick getting sucked well that's not flirting exactly I'm just saying like getting his dick sucked is also not something I want to see nor is it someone nor do I want to see a girl like twisting her hair talking to

Corey and him, like, being charming. Well, some people would be… would say that if there's trust there, that that would turn them on. That that would be like, wow, when I watch… when I see that people want to flirt with my husband, it makes me even more attracted to him. Like, it's very primitive. I can see that. That's not you.

I get it. But for some people, it would work that way. Sure. But I wouldn't want to see that happen. Okay. So let's explore that. Why? you'd be jealous? Because it just seems really not what I would want to see. I don't know if

I would be… You're saying the same thing. I guess I'm not saying I would be jealous. I just think that that would be really fucking awkward for me to see as his wife. Okay. Right? I don't know. Like, wouldn't it be a validation of, like, how hot he is and how, like, in charismatic? Yes, but I don't want to see it. I'm fine if he told me about it. Okay. If he was like, oh a girl he did did tell me that like a couple months ago he's like oh I think a girl was flirting I was like doesn't that feel great congratulations like yeah I think we should all be feeling that um so that's where I stand like I think flirting is a-okay as long as you're not crossing the line as long as there's no touching yeah well I don't think you even like

look I I if she insists that it's harmless like you guys aren't sending each other texts and it's going somewhere. So texts are bad? Well, it depends on what the texts are. If it's, what are you wearing? Oh, my God. Yes, of course. No.

Yeah. And if it's, what are you doing, which is code for, you know, want to hook up or want to, like, text each other to the point of orgasm. Right. Okay. So, but if she's insisting none, like, everything is above board and this is just about, like, something to do when you're at work and it makes you feel good about yourself and there is no, you're not, if there's no possibility, sure. I feel like there is one of two things

going on here, though. Either she's holding back from not telling us that she is playing with fire, because otherwise, why even bring it up? If this is so… But maybe she feels guilty about the piece of not telling her husband. Well, and I think that that's the other, that's what, the other side, the other possibility of what's going on is everybody's fucking Puritan and Puritanical perspective of what it means to be in a committed relationship. Yeah. And it means that you have to turn off all, like, all of your synapses and your chemical

reactions to the things in the world to prove your loyalty. And, like, that is so unrealistic. Yeah. So is that what's going on here or is it that she is kind of telling us but not telling us that she's tempted? Right. She seems pretty pure. The letter seems pretty pure and above board.

You don't buy that, do you? If it's… I don't know. I don't know. I don't have the, like, the read, so it's one of two things. So let's go with that. If it is pure, then, you know, to the person who wrote this, don't let whatever society's expectations on what a loyal wife is supposed to be impose on your just being a human being.

Yeah. And we need other connections with people other than the people we live with. Do you think she should tell her husband about this guy? Not that they're flirting, but like at least bring this guy into reality that he exists. No. Okay. You don't need to. Okay.

If she is playing with fire, I think we both can agree on what we would say to her. If you're playing with fire, then I mean… Like if you're going home and thinking about him and… Well, she says she's going home and thinking about him, but not in a sexual way. But I don't buy that. Yeah. Which is fine too. Yes.

If you're thinking about him in a sexual way, that's fine too. Like, it depends on whether you're going to act on it. So I just want to know where she is right now. Yeah. But to me, let's go with, hey, this is completely innocent and you just have a connection with somebody you work with. Great. Thumbs up.

That's amazing. And to make you feel better, here's an example. I think in all parts of life and in other, like, all parts of life and in many industries, flirting is part of your job. So, for instance, in my job when I'm interviewing someone, not Anna Wintour, but whether it's a man or a woman or someone who's non-gender conforming, when you're establishing that connection, it is flirtatious. Like, you could turn on the charm.

Yes. I've flirted with Cate Blanchett. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I have flirted with… I have flirted with… Gwyneth Paltrow. I've seen it. Gwyneth Paltrow. Yep. I have flirted with Angelina Jolie. I have flirted with… who was the last person I met? Oh, I have flirted with… what's his name? Aaron Paul.

Yes, I saw that. All of that could be categorized as flirting. But work flirting. But what you're doing is you're just kind of like getting the chemistry going. And the Chemistry doesn't have to be in service of, like, dick in vagina or dick in anus or dick in mouth or whatever. How many more dicks are you going to put? Or vagina on spooning or whatever, scissoring or whatever, right?

Like, it doesn't have to be in service of anything sexual. It just has to be in service of, I just want to have fun in this moment. Yes, I love that. Right? I think it's so important, like, talk about, like, mental health, feeling good about yourself. Like, I really think if you cut yourself off from that, then you don't feel fucking shit. Like, that's not the way to go. And that's why it's sort of, I always am a little bit saddened when you see a couple

that have been in long-term relationships or short-term relationships and they're not allowed to be who they are. Like, they, like, truncate every, like, genital off of them just because it's only allowed to be with that one person. Yeah. Fucking not realistic and will only cause more damage down the line. So I think flirting is good. I think it's healthy as long as you are playing by the rules of no touchy, no dicks,

in holes, no scissoring, all that kind of shit. So I don't know, not to put this back on you, but you have to decide which one of these scenarios you're in. Are you playing with fire? You have to… Like, we can't answer that for you. Or are you being confined with the expectations of what being a loyal, faithful spouse is? And if it is the latter, you're good.

Yeah. Just, you know, be your sparkling, fun, irresistible self. I love that. Okay, that's it for today. Thanks for listening. Keep your questions coming to me at Sasha at LadyGossip.com. And thank you so much for listening. It's been exciting being back on What's Your Drama for our second episode.

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