What's Your Drama - Young Love in Quarantine

Episode Date: April 2, 2020

Last week you heard about Lainey's riveting thermometer story and today, well, you get to hear about my Q-tips. You're welcome.Okay, but it's all about your DRAMA and our first writer is stuck with what to do with her daughter who doesn't want to obey the rules of physical distancing. Why? Because she's 22 and in love. Lainey had to eventually take the lead on this because I was too angry.Next, we try to help a guy named Steve who can't figure out what he's doing wrong in his work group chat. He's trying to crack all the jokes but people aren't biting. I LOVE this letter so if you have any advice for Steve after listening, fire away and we can pass them on.Finally, what do you do when all you want to do is share information with your friend but they don’t care? In fact, she not only doesn't care but she makes fun of you. Lainey and I rip this one off like a bandaid.  We hope you enjoy the show and keep sending me all your DRAMA! Send your advice questions my way at [e-mail]. We also love hearing from you on Twitter at @sasha_tong and @laineygossip and Instagram at @lostandfoundapothecary and @laineygossip. And of course subscribe wherever you get your podcasts, and make sure to leave feedback and comments because it helps others find our show!   Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

You know, the way that I walk around work when we used to go to work, which makes me so sad. What I would do for you to not look at me or not talk to me at work. I miss your bitch at work. I started McMillions and then every episode I fall asleep. I don't know why. oh weird anyway i put lots of face tanner on too can you tell that literally my face is a weird color and my neck and chest is white now no you look fine oh it's uh i put like so much on my face today and it looks crazy coronavirus well more just like how people like how are you like i find that i've now become like this weird person who needs to like scrounge everything like the cutting

of my q-tips like my cotton pads uh like if a rice kernel drops from a bowl I'm like fucking furiously fucking putting it back in like I feel like I've totally become like like a wartime person no not to that extent no oh I feel like not panic but like as I said like now i put soap on my eyebrows as eyebrow gel like i've become like this weird person who is i don't know trying to like save and stuff no you're not doing that don't you find like with your food aren't you just like so precious about your food oh i i have turned into a gourmet chef like me too and and then I do like and so we have not done takeout in forever which is which is forever not like you guys well I try and cook but no but there's at least once a week where you'll get

your sushi or you'll get your pizza yeah I don't shop I haven't bought anything right have you bought anything other than food oh this is my point money on his food yeah oh I had to buy an ipad an iphone case because i couldn't got a new iphone but that's okay like a necessity necessity yeah yeah that's what i mean i'm like looking at things so much differently and it's funny because even i was reading um this you know how like china they're starting to go out and stuff and there was an interview of this girl and she was like i just fucking want a revenge shop so i'm curious to know if people will do that right now i'm like save money conserve don't need anything only wear stretchy things but this it was so funny to see this chick she was like i

just want to spend all the money anyway i'm curious to know if that's what people will start doing i will say i've like earmarked this thing um this i don't want to even say what it is but i've earmarked something precious no say the thing no because this is recording i don't want it on the podcast um I've earmarked a thing to buy for my birthday um and so that's in September um I would like to believe that I can buy myself something nice in September yes I hope so too but it's the one thing yeah Amy texted me and typically you know her she buys yeah a hundred things in her zara cart and she hasn't even done that yeah uh like today she was like i need earrings and i was like do you really need earrings i'm no one's fucking seeing you i'm

worried at this point my ear holes are going to grow over well don't you just put earrings in anyway no oh like on the day-to-day i don't like put earrings in so maybe i should shove some earrings in my ears you should shove some earrings in your ear and plus it just makes well that's what i do like i because i wear hoops every day but i was like fuck that i also want to like look sort of like i have one care in the world so i put earrings in um i have decided i have a two and a three hole on the left side but do i do um why have you never used them well last year is this what our pre-chat is i have no idea at this point last year they i tried and the second hole is fine but the third hole grew over so when this is over if it ever ends if it's safe to go to

piercing places i think i'm gonna i think i'm gonna get my two and on my three hole done again and then yes of course you should and put them like and start wearing them and then i was wondering if i should do a helix oh fuck you know duanna would be all about that i think i don't want to tell her though because like it's one of those things where you know she is in our group like the piercing expert and then if I tell her then then she's gonna take over it let her take over it's like she's really good at it and interestingly enough Amy too was like oh I want to get more piercings so maybe we all just like maybe that's what we look towards at the end of this we just all get I don't want to get more piercings I mean I already have you just want to open your

shit up I want to we'll probably get like fucking 18 more nipple earrings I do I do like the look of a helix. So, um, I'm yeah, but I'm not getting my nipples pierced. I'm not getting my clip pierced. I'm not getting like, I mean, geez, at one point with Duann, I was going to get that Marilyn Monroe pierce. Like you start to go down a path that you shouldn't. So I'm glad that your clip will not be pierced. No, just, I mean, I was wondering if I should do the other side. Like I have two and three on the left. And I was wondering if I should do more on the right side, but I kind of just like being lopsided. I like the lopsided look better too. Yeah. Hey, do you miss me? Well, if I answer yes, you're going to tell me that you don't miss me

or somehow berate me. So I'm going to say, no, I'm still going to say yes. Well, I miss you. Okay, good. Yeah. Okay, good. Remember when I came by with Yassic and the dogs for a sidewalk visit? Mm-hmm. Okay, I want to do that again, but how weird are you going to be? I don't know what that means.

Was I weird the first time? Well, because I went to go visit somebody else, and she actually came and sat outside and sat on her porch, and I sat near the sidewalk, and we had, like, a nice 20-minute conversation. I can do that. I wasn't prepared for – you were, like, on the move with your dogs. But I think if I can pull up my chair, because we have two chairs on the porch, and you also have some sort of ability to sit down or something, then I think that that would make the most sense. When people walk by, I just don't know, like our friend Dylan walked by my house the other day, and I was like, hi, and then it's sort of weird just to be like, caught in the moment randomly talking behind a screen. Right. So if I have a, if I have a prepared date with you.

Yeah. Okay. And then if I, in my backpack, um, put like a bottle of wine and a plastic cup and then we, and then you had a drink and, but we were like several feet apart and then I could stay for the duration of a drink. Yes. I would enjoy that. Okay. Clearly. Cause we're not in Toronto even allowed to be in a park. So we really are only allowed to do this in our private domains of like front yards back yards not even really that safely but can you get yes can you get it can you get arrested for public drinking if you do that like if I do what I just suggested to you I feel like that probably is a bit of a pass in these times don't you think I don't know I don't know what's a pass I don't know best best case scenario is we just sit in our homes

but yes I am desperate for like remember when you came by last time and I texted you and I was like thank you for the eye contact like i haven't had any human eye contact besides cory my dog and then as i wrote to you today that the amazon guy i finally got to look at an amazon guy through my window and i waved and then i cried afterwards so i need i obviously need human interaction what did you order i ordered an infinite amount of paper towels because i can't get toilet paper i love paper towels so very me do me do me do oh okay when did you order them we got them in three days so get on the amazon train now because oh fuck yeah we got like i think 24 rolls of paper towel because i also can't get fucking toilet paper and i was like if worse fucking comes to worse i'm

gonna have to use that paper towel as my toilet paper i won't flush down the fucking toilet because you're apparently not supposed to but that will be my safety okay okay okay okay i'm gonna I still have like, I think I still have 20 rolls of toilet paper. Yeah, I also do too. But that doesn't seem like enough. Really? I don't know anymore. I don't know when we're getting out.

Is there any toilet paper on Amazon? No. Oh. It's totally sold out. You can't even get, we tried to get toothpaste. You can't even get toothpaste. Toothpaste is sold out. Fuck off.

On Amazon? Yeah, but you know what I did get? I got Q-tips. so now my my weird scrounging of q-tips i can take a breather now and that's my luxury that was my luxury purchase was getting q-tips what are you using q-tips for like aside from cleaning out your ears oh i don't even use them for that i do this weird thing every morning where i roll my eyelids with a q-tip just to like get juices going like move the lymphatic system so i just use q-tips every morning like oh okay all right I know it's weird anyway is that why another

another interesting introduction to what's your drama is that why your eyes are so pretty is it this q-tip trick no I don't know I just can you demo it for me next time I want to do it now yeah it's great it just gives me a second to like do nothing but like massage my eyelids with a Q-tip, like you roll them up and down. Oh, okay. Okay, I'm gonna try that. I want you to demo it for me next time. Okay. Are we ready with your drama or their drama? We're ready for our readers' drama. Okay, here we go. Hey, Sasha and Lainey, here's my drama. Our daughter, S, she's 22, is pissed that we've told her self-isolating doesn't include doing it with the boyfriend who, for reference sake, we really like. S came home from university March 13,

as classes were canceled. The boyfriend, let's call him B, came home from overseas March 11th, went to see S at school March 12th, and then brought her home the 13th. S spends all weekend with B. B comes down with a fever, sore throat, and a fucking cough the 16th. They decide to practice social distancing while waiting for his COVID-19 test to come back. All week, S has been saying, when B and I see each other, when his test is clear, last night my husband and I broke it to her that B wasn't allowed to come over here and she can't go over there. He lives at home and his sister is coming and going as she pleases. Dad is still going to work. Mom working from home. Of course, S is pissed when she announces, fine, we will just go back to school and stay there.

And we tell her if she leaves, she can't come back until this social distancing can stop. Are we overreacting? Are we paranoid? Our trips to the grocery store and dog walks is all we're doing. We aren't seeing any other family and friends and neither are our other two children who are now home again, though it's easier for them because the loves of their lives live far away. They're in love. Fuck, I remember being 22 and not wanting to spend a minute away from my boyfriend. Part of me says, well, as long as they aren't going out in public and just going from his house to ours, let them live. Am I being stupid and thinking that wouldn't be so bad? My husband is refusing to budge on this and says, nope, not happening. Help, or at least tell me

one of us is right and to either ease up on the restrictions on the lovebirds or help explain to her why we are doing this by the way laney i pulled that graph out for her from the new york times and that didn't impress her thanks mother hen fucking love this okay sash i'm pretty sure i know what you're gonna say yes um i have lots of things to say but this was interesting because this is such an insight of what we've all been like well for me i've been like what the fuck is happening why aren't people following rules and why am i seeing so many fucking teenagers out there where are their parents like cory and i were having this exact conversation last night like where are the parents telling their kids to stay the fuck inside so by that i think you can

can tell that of course what uh sorry what's our uh mother hen yeah your husband is who we should all be listening to everybody listening to this podcast should be listening to your husband because right now we need to obey the rules stay inside yes of course like blissful young love it can fucking wait it can wait just this is what frustrates me so much if we all just do this for the time that is required let's say uh worst case scenario two months two and a half months then we'll get out of this the longer people don't obey the longer people fuck around the longer people want to just like hang out with their friend because they just need to the longer this is going to fucking take so let's truncate this shit now so that we can all live a better

life outside of this time frame okay that is on paper the right answer no that is the right answer on paper off paper that's what I'm doing that's the right answer yeah but you're not 22 and in love. And I think that I can still remember being in that crazy intense time where S is not listening and B is not listening because all they care about is being together, especially now when they think the world is going to end. You want to be together when the world is going to end, right? If there's any time to just be together and to indulge in your love, it's not when things are calm and you have all the time in the world it's when it's the most intense and you're intense about each other and so that's when it like drives up it heightens the drama of it still yes i get

no those are all valid points but i don't know if i was if i was s and my mom said no i would be i would stomp my feet i would fucking cry but i would still do what my mom told me to do which is stay the fuck indoors you can't see him just wait and if s is threatening fine we're gonna go and fuck in our dorm then what what our mother hen said which was implementing the rule you can go do that but you're not coming in my house there is another solution okay what's the other solution sorry i'm very militant about this so what is your less militant version okay so there he okay so B's in quarantine right now the boyfriend right yes and keep in mind his sister B's sister is coming and going and fucking touching people and like threatening other

people's lives like and his parents are going in and out right so why can't like when B clears his test and when he's don't you dare say B's moving in yeah why can't B move in how old sorry they're in university they're 22 think of it like thanksgiving or christmas just an extended holiday have the have your daughter's son move in for like the time of covet 19 so that you can keep your daughter safe and you'll just you'll the rules that you're gonna relax aren't the rules about safety for a pandemic the rules that you're gonna relax are fucking under your roof you know they're fucking already right can we establish that they're fucking yes right are fucking raw dogging every day of the day every day so if you want to keep everybody safe bring the fucking

under your roof once b is clear of like oh my god that is so fun mom to say of you like just do it in the safety of my house as long you're under my roof yeah i can see they oh i said that they like him she said mother had said hen said that she and her husband are down with b so you know what if s your daughter is so like i mean that's if they're so madly in love as you say at 22 just be like all right come you have here here's the compromise you can't go anywhere you but he moves in and then neither of you see anybody for the foreseeable future except us and each other see you don't hate it i don't hate it because i don't know how liberal mother hen is that would not have flown at the Tong household. It sounds pretty liberal. Okay. Right. She's already talking

about the fact that they spent, they already spent all weekend with each other. Is that what she said? Okay. I don't remember that part. Well, fine, fine, fine. For me, I'm just more frustrated in the, in the fact that we have to negotiate with people. That's my problem right now. Why do we have to negotiate with we're we're gonna go ahead and say educated people this you know s and b are both in university whether you're educated or not my point being the fact that we have to negotiate this is fucking silly to me but sure if if mother hen doesn't feel like she has any other option then yes mother hen go with laney and invite b into your household i would also like to know like is does B contribute? Can that be part of it? Can B contribute to food and stuff?

Sure. Or he can contribute to dishwashing or he can do yard work. Okay. Right. I would like to put him to work so that he understands the appreciation of the moment and the gesture. Look, mother hen has written to us because this is the drama of her life right now is staying safe and protecting her loved one. Like she has three children and one of her children is risking literally her life. So this is life or death. I understand what you're saying

about like why people can't just like, hey, it's not forever. It's just for a little while, but it's not working for like, we got to make a workable solution. And this seems like a workable solution, right? People can still have sex. People can still be safe.

love I love can survive fine love can survive in quarantine which is happening quite quite regularly as we find out in celebrity in the world of celebrity everyone is having a really great time having some quarantine love um yes fine fine fine okay fine you're so begrudging I just, because I just think it's, again, ridiculous that a 22-year-old doesn't understand the gravity of the situation and is so consumed by her own selfishness and that she just can't be like, you're right, mom, you're right. There's so many people dying out there. I can fucking, like, chill on my makeout sessions for six weeks. Like, at least, how about this? I like your option, Lainey.

Can we meet in the middle that Mother Hen tells us, if you are locked down with me for three weeks, we will revisit it then. And if we're still in lockdown mode, then we can let Bea come in and stay with us. I hear what you're saying. Like, you sound very reasonable for somebody who's reasonable and who is not in that panic of love. like there are plays and operas and songs written about people who are willing to literally jump off a cliff for love who are have given up life for love so i'm just telling you at 22 this is what these two are going through right now they don't give a fuck about life all they care about is love and again this is historical like human nature

so this is some romeo and juliet fucking shit right now so okay mother hen that is my suggestion sasha's is more militant three weeks and then if your daughter proves to you that she can make it through three weeks or listen i'm saying let b get through like his test and his quarantine and tests negative or whatever and then invite him over maybe that's three weeks anyway sash Okay. Well, at the very least, it's 14 days. Okay. Right.

Okay. Well, that was March 13th or 16th. We're almost there. Anyway, good luck. My hands are clenched into this right now. Okay. Everybody else, though, stay the fuck home. How about that?

Right? All right. Next. Sasha and Lainey, I started a new job at the beginning of March. Our office has about 30 employees, and I've worked with at least a dozen of my coworkers before at previous jobs, and I'm even close with a handful of them. Everyone was very friendly and welcoming But with everyone being so busy I was never formally introduced

To any of the staff that I don't know Only two weeks into the job Our office closes And we're all working from home We chat on Slack And have a formal work thread As well as another thread for joking around I've noticed that whenever I post a funny comment

In the thread No one reacts to it I don't get any likes Smiles Hearts Laughs Etc When another co-worker comments

Even if it's a lame joke They'll get like 15 likes It doesn't matter what I say, it's crickets. I'm starting to feel like something is going on. Do they not like me? Have I not earned my place yet? I know I've only been there for a few weeks, but I know most of the guys indefinitely have a reputation for being a jokester.

I clearly can't say anything to anyone about this, but how do I get them to like me? I'm a confident 40-year-old man who's starting to feel like an 11-year-old boy who's not invited to the cool kid's birthday party. Any advice is appreciated. Steve. All right, Steve. this is so Steve I love this this is so cute so cute I'll tell you this Lainey doesn't usually smile and she was smiling throughout the whole read it's adorable and I really love that Steve

is like vulnerable enough to write us and you know share his his inner embarrassment but Steve it's interesting that you wrote to us about something like this particularly us because Sasha and I are stranger danger people as in we are like, and it's not, I don't want to like, it's not nice when you say it out loud, but typically like we have our friends and you and I are not that, uh, welcome it. That's the word. That's actually what it is. So we can a little bit speak to these people here and maybe it maybe it is a reflection on us and like what we would do and maybe we shouldn't be dicks anymore i feel like covet 19 has make you made you even worse though like you're even gonna be like it's made it's made me a little bit it's made me a little

more aggro um you know what i i do think that you're right we do have um a heightened stranger danger than most but I do think there is a certain kind of and I don't want to say hazing but you kind of have to earn your way in a little bit and I'm not saying that you have to like it shouldn't be weeks and no one should be mean but I don't sometimes I get thrown off when people are a little bit too comfortable right off the bat right like that want to just like get in there because it takes time to develop that chemistry and maybe you are funny but they have they didn't get enough time to understand who you were to find those jokes funny right so you can't just like unleash your whole stand-up routine day 13 and think people are gonna be into it right off the bat

right like ease into the funny part of that is just like like yeah stepping back and letting other players play and then maybe drop a funny line in but it sounds like the way that Steve wrote it is he's trying he's trying to get a laugh he's trying to like get the likes get the hearts but maybe if you just like step back and like chill for like a little bit then they can get to know you so that they can then enjoy your jokes yeah I I think that um it's it's I guess are you coming realistically I wish you could send us some of like screen caps of some of these um Oh my God. Send us some screen caps. Yes. Steve, can you send us some screen caps? Because then we can actually tell you whether or not you're coming on too strong, right? Yes. This deserves

a follow-up. Steve, Steve, Steve, send them to us. Yeah. Send them to us. We're all working from home. We want to do a part two of this. Obviously we won't share it, but we want to be able to give you our assessment of whether or not your slack is a little thirsty because exactly you know um it's it helps to be like you have to i mean you're the one you know dropping the jokes but you need an audience an objective audience that would be me and sash to let you know if your slack is a little try hard yeah now if we read those uh messages and we think oh shit this dude's good Like I would. Yeah, no problem. If this is a new colleague in our place who is dropping these kind of jokes and you and I wouldn't mind it, then we can make a proper assessment that, yeah, the people you work with are fucking assholes. Not to say that you and I, Sasha, are the purveyors of good taste, but yeah, you should make that note.

OK, how about if Steve doesn't send it to us? What is your gut on this whole situation? My gut on the whole situation, like not to be like straddle the middle ground here, but I think it's a little bit of both. I think that, as you said, most people need a little bit of time to acclimate to a new person. Yeah. Coming in hot is sometimes a bit jarring. Yeah. And yeah, I think it's unfortunate that Steve started and didn't get an in-person introduction. and then a lot of people might just be looking at the phone being like oh like who is this person

like some people might just might not know like sure yeah you know the way that i walk around work when we used to go to work which makes me so sad what i would do for you to not look at me or not talk to me at work i miss i miss your bitch at work thank you for knowing what i was saying when I walk around work, I don't make eye contact with people. And I hardly know, like there are people in the building and we, I've been there like seven years where I I've seen them for the first time sometimes. And I I'm busy. Okay. But maybe when we do get out of this, you will, you will maybe smile at people. Sure. Yeah. So you just never know what people's work style is. It could be like me where it's just, so I just, you know, look down and avoid.

yeah but he's saying all these people are cracking jokes on the thread but they know each other yes yes yes but they're all this is obviously a fun time thread right this isn't a business thread they are having fun i i think for steve if he doesn't want to send us the text so we can't part to this i would take my advice which is yeah step back and just let the jokes happen and only pepper a couple every once in a while. Can you write to Steve and let Steve know that like, we really need these texts? Yes. If I don't, if I don't, if I don't hear back from him in two days, then I will, I will reach out. Okay. Cause we need to do this for next week. Like I need more information, Steve, we need information, but just know from the perspective of two people who are not that

engaging and welcoming. I don't, I don't think we intend to be assholes. No, I'm a good person. you are a good person fuck you I would like people to like I'm I'm I'm welcoming to like funny I'm welcoming to people in general but you kind of have to you can't as you said you can't be super thirsty or it puts me off right when someone's too eager I'm like why are you eager to be around me you shouldn't be just be relaxed you can you can feel people's energy even through a text right who just wants to like no there doesn't need to be a whole palaver and entertainment rollout for steve if he just like eases into it more i think it'll be it'll work in his favor would you want to like cyrano de bergerac steve with his slack i don't know what that is you know

where you write the text for him to the slack group oh like rocks roxanne um no no get duanna too because duanna has some good do well duanna's a thinker a very like smart comedian i don't know i think sometimes she overthinks it yeah but okay fine i know i don't think so i want to see what if steve thinks he's a funny dude i don't want to fucking knock steve's personality he likes steve like no i mean personality i mean if these people are actually being bitches to him then i want to serenade a bear jack that thing and like maybe that's not a good way to like make work relationships Why am I starting a war? Totally.

I've turned this into a war. Steve, just part two us so that we can actually really get like a deep dive into what's going on. I'm already going on the offensive for Steve. Anyway, Steve, we need to see this. Okay? Let us know. Okay. Finally, hi, Sasha Laney.

So here's my situation. I have a friend, a dear one that I have known since I was a teen, and we lived together in university and got into all kinds of fun and amazing trouble. We went our separate ways after we grew apart based on social and political values. We reconnected later when she needed some support managing a health crisis, and since then, she's definitely been there for me too. Now, she is up to some screechy stuff. I find her to be very self-involved and getting a little off the rails with her behavior choices. She's a ton of unresolved issues with family and her partner,

and just seems to carry on her own merry way when I can tell there's some dark, looming stuff under the surface. She won't go to therapy and instead leans on me for this. What's worse is she is my sister as an acquaintance, and despite the fact that I tell her not to say things to my sister about our conversations, she always does. This then puts me in an awkward place with my sister and has me questioning why I talk to someone who I can't trust to be discreet and can't seem to respect the communication boundaries I'm trying to put up.

I've been direct with her about this, and her response is brittle and defensive. What's worse, the behavior doesn't change. Things reached a point yesterday when I shared something with her that I was reluctant to, but we're in the habit of sharing everything, so I threw caution aside and spilled the beans. She laughed in my face, said I was weird, and laughed more. When she finally realized I wasn't laughing, she said, oh, it's okay, I'm weird too. Not sure how to navigate this one. Please weigh in.

OG. All right. Okay, OG. I don't think this one's very complicated. It hit me. I think we're going to be on the same page, but you tell me. Like, what's that expression? Fool me once.

Once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. And this is multiple times, right? Correct. So, OG, this is, you got to shut your trap, man. Right. You can support somebody because clearly this person has issues and I appreciate the fact that you're being a good friend, but when it comes to your own shit, just don't, like,

shut up. Don't share. Yeah. Stop that. I think that's probably hard for OG because the way that they started was a sharing relationship. But if you have come to realize that it's just causing more drama in your life and on top of that, your friend is making fun of you, there's no added value for you to tell this person anything. You must have other people to confide in. And if you don't find someone else to because this chick isn't doing any good for you, you know, she's she's selling you out and then she's laughing your fucking face to fuck that. Yeah, I think that it's definitely going to take a transition period for you to sort of turn around in your mind that this is going to be a one way relationship.

So you in this setting are a giver. You give your attention to this person. They need you. You help them with their problems. But it is definitely not a two-way exchange. Just give your listening skills, but don't expect anything back. And therefore, don't share. I mean, it's as simple as that. And I think once you do that, then you can take stock on if you want to continue the friendship with this person, because having a one way friendship also blows. But I think that'll take time for OG to realize, right? Like, oh, I'm not only, you know, I'm just giving, giving, giving, and this person isn't giving me anything back in return. That could be the end of that friendship, maybe in a little while as well. Yeah. Eventually. I think that once you, it's a process too about like, I know a lot of people who are just givers and still have been able to maintain relationships with takers because over time they've learned how to conserve the energy. Right? Like for sure, sometimes like there's a certain amount of energy we all put into any relationship. And sometimes a two-way relationship, a fair exchange, a true friendship requires more energy. When you tweak your mind and see a relationship as just one way where this person is like, you're not there to invest anything.

You're just there as a presence for them to sound things off of and to like give some advice. It actually might not be as much energy as you think. And therefore you might not need to formally end it because it doesn't take that much out of you. Does that make sense? yes and I think different personalities would be able to cope with that better like you I think could compartmentalize and be like great I just saved myself a whole bunch of fucking energy cool someone like me I um hold a major grudge when someone doesn't give me doesn't fucking give me that feedback loop if I don't get that feedback loop in a friendship I'm super put off And so for me, that would not work. But I think for people who are like you and have that that personality type of just like, cool, I can roll with this, like you're way more relaxed that way, then it could then then yes, you could continue a friendship and just know that that's just the way it rolls out. Me, not so much.

Well, OG, I think that you're going to have to figure that out and you have time because obviously you can't end this friendship right away. So for you, I think it's self-reflection. Listen, I'm not here to blame you, but again, it is fully under your control to stop giving of yourself to this person and stop sharing. That is your first step. And then from there, you'll find that, like, when you stop sharing with someone, your emotional connection to them will naturally change. Yeah, I agree.

That's great advice. I feel sad about it. Like, I'm sad that this person has treated OG this way. Me too. Especially because OG seems to want to, like, make it work, right? I think that's what she continues to share, to be like, show me. Can you show me that you're still good? Can you show me that you still care for me?

um but and there's history there yeah exactly that's why you don't ever want to give up on a friendship that's lasted that long yeah but yeah i think that as you said though you know and we've talked about this before is you can only control your behavior so og control your behavior and zip your trap yeah and good luck on that yeah okay well that's it keep your questions coming to me at sasha lady gossip.com i'll have to say that there are some really good um stuck and quarantine questions so keep those coming because this is what we're all going through right yeah right so we can all kind of come together and relate to this kind of drama subscribe to us wherever you get your podcasts leave comments and reviews

we will be back stay safe everybody stay the fuck inside bye We'll be right back.