What's Your Drama - Zoom Dick & No Boyfriend Butterflies

Episode Date: October 22, 2020

Lainey and I can't get enough of Zoom Dick so clearly we had to break down what Zoom Dick is, how Zoom Dick happened, and why anyone in their right mind would do Zoom Dick. And after all the Zoom Dicking we get into your drama!First we hear from "Jennifer" who has just started dating "Alex". She really likes Alex but she isn't getting those butterflies she once had for her ex "Nate". Is that a problem? We dig in.Then it's onto “Julia” who has been struggling for many years with chronic pain and the inability to leave her house often. If that wasn't hard enough, her friend "Stacey" hasn't been stepping up to support her so is it finally time to axe Stacey or does she need to give her another chance? (Lainey: This is when I surprise Sasha and tell her about my new friend … and how we bonded. Guess?!)Finally we end on "C" who has a question about cold sores and when you need to break the news to someone that you have them.We hope you enjoy the show and keep sending me all your DRAMA! Send your advice questions my way at [e-mail]. We also love hearing from you on Twitter at @sasha_tong and @laineygossip and Instagram at @lostandfoundapothecary and @laineygossip. And of course subscribe wherever you get your podcasts, and make sure to leave feedback and comments because it helps others find our show! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I don't understand how, how a Zoom dick can happen. And also you never hear of women having like Zoom vag or women are like, like, it just doesn't seem like that a strain of fucking indecency happens with women, but men are caught with their pants down, taking a piss, wanking off. I fucking love the story. I just don't understand it. Hi, I'm Lainey Louie. talk show host and entertainment reporter i'm also the editor of laneygossip.com and i am a bts

yeah you are i'm sasha tong i am a producer at an entertainment show here in canada i'm also a fashion and beauty columnist on laneygossip.com and i am not a big bts fan but this is what's your drama where we gossip about you so what would you do if i mean because we hear all these stories like at the beginning of covid when people are first starting to get on zoom calls and like i guess the excuse back then was like you weren't familiar of course process yet right so there was i remember there's this one guy who like i don't know forgot to turn his video off and like stood up and he was in his underwear one person goes to the bathroom yeah but now it's next level like at the supreme court i think

someone was peeing um but now it's next level like this is is can you use the excuse anymore because this zoom dick thing um I can't get enough of this story and I know you can't either I I am I'm I'm frazzled by it because I don't I need you to set the scene for me Corey told me about it last night and I was like what what are you talking about like the guy from CNN who looks like al sharpton like zoom dick what the fuck are you talking about sharpton what are you talking about no al sharpton sorry al franken al franken sorry okay so so he was he also is like uh a writer for the new york yes the fucking new yorker and so at the new yorker they were doing an election simulation so they were all they were all role playing you know different kinds of people yeah

Um, and apparently, according to the vice reporting, at one point he tilted his camera down and you could see his dick and he was pulling on it. And then he also at one point, uh, got up and left. So the dot, dot, dot assumption would be that he left to go like complete the job. Right. And then came back and I think maybe his dick was still out anyway. That that's what it is. And then when he was called on it, he was like, oh, shit, you know, I thought I had my video off.

Are you playing with fire at that point in your life? What kind of risk taker are you that you – okay, but there was two screens. He said there was two screens. He thought he was operating – like he was looking at another screen wanking off is what the word is. Either way, I don't understand how a Zoom dick can happen. and also you never hear of women having like zoom vag or women are like like it just doesn't seem like that a strain of fucking indecency happens with women but men are caught with their pants down taking a piss wanking off watching porn like it just is so I I fucking love the story

I just don't understand it well I I agree I mean like listen it's healthy and we all need to do it like it's fine it's not the act of it it's just that like he said yeah he said he had another screen so presumably while he was zooming he was also he had another tab open and like he had some mortifying i say he had some fucking porn up on the other tab and but but that's still my thing because if i'm gonna rub one out i i'm definitely not rubbing one out while other people are talking about this crazy ass election coming up and the word Trump coming up every other word. And I'm like, Oh, no, you know, I can, there may be, listen, if in a different scenario, let's say that they were having a zoom call and they were talking about, I don't know, gardening and he was

really attracted. No, you still wouldn't. I don't know. It's just so that is what it is. It's like, that would be the, but that's me. Maybe he fucking gets off on people talking about the election and the word Trump over and over again while he's watching whatever kind of kink he's watching on his other tab. Or he just wants to flick the fucking bean whenever the fuck he wants to, which could be at 10 a.m., 4 p.m. during a Zoom meeting talking about Trump. My thing is, I wonder, though, if it's that like, you know, when people love to like fuck in public or like, is that where we've gotten to in COVID because no one can be in public? Like that's his thing. It's like, oh my God, it's so naughty that like everyone from CNN or whatever,

or the New York times is on this. I'm just going to fucking wank one out right now. Like, is it, I wonder if it has that element of like thrill. Yeah, sure. I mean, listen, I think that we all surreptitiously do things on a zoom call. Like, I don't know, a few weeks ago on a zoom call, I had an itchy nipple. Okay. So I was like, how can I fucking scratch my nip? But so what did you do? Well, then I kind of moved out of camera and rubbed it with like your elbow. Yeah. I mean, no, no, no, no, no, no. I moved out of camera range and scratched it with my finger. Right. Okay. I think especially women out there, we all know when you have a fucking itchy nipple, it's like, how can you focus? Right. I don't know why anybody has their camera on anymore.

As you saw in our meeting today, cameras off dudes, cameras off. Most of the time, like there are lots of meetings where I keep my camera off, but I, I also think that there are times when someone is like, I don't know, sharing or whatnot. I will, I want to be present and, but yeah, There are a lot of times when I'm, audio and video are off for me, but I'm paying attention. And then there are some times when I'll just come back on just to prove to the eyeballs that are watching, hey, I'm here, I'm present, I'm paying attention. Can we just go back to Zoom Dick, though? Did people see his dick?

Or they just- Yes. People, because the camera got tilted down while he was fucking- And that's the thing. Also, everybody should know this, but at any point, if you're on camera on a Zoom call, someone can capture the screen with their phone. So when he pulled his dick out, if I were on that call, I would have pulled my phone out and I would have been like,

let me just document this. That is mortifying, though. That is mortifying. And you would have too, I would hope. Well, I would have let you do the dirty work so that it could be on the group chat because that's typically how it goes. I keep my hands clean, yo. Anyway, please tell us if you have any Zoom dick stories.

Yeah, all the Zoom dick stories. Kind of or similar or whatever because, yeah, this is – but this is a thing. If we're in it for a little while longer, yes, there are going to be Zoom snafus. Just this was the most egregious case of a Zoom snafu. When I saw it trending on Twitter, I was like, yes, please. Zoom dick is the funniest. What? Zoom dick is the funniest thing to trend.

I did not expect it would be him. No. Anyway. Anyway, we ready to get to questions? Yes. All right. First question. Hi, Sasha.

here's my drama for you. During the summer, I met N and I fell hard. We had amazing chemistry. Okay. Can I just call his name? Like, let's just call him Nate. Okay. Nate. Okay. Okay. During the summer, I met Nate and I fell hard. We had amazing chemistry, many things in common, and we progressed very quickly and intensely. He made me feel beautiful, wanted, and I felt a connection with him that I hadn't for many years with other men I've dated. When we ended our dates and I came home, I would often flop on my bed in pure happiness, butterflies, all that cheesiness that a 29 year old watching too many rom-coms experiences everything seems so great but there were also downs he consistently needed attention all day via text which at first was

flattering but afterwards tiresome as i had a day job as well he also said i made him feel self-conscious and many of our conversations ended up only being about us and the relationship we broke things off after about two months together because he didn't want to proceed with being exclusive saying that there were too many red flags i wasn't expecting it could to go there. Okay. In hindsight, he made me experience many emotional ups and downs during the short time we were together, and it was very relieving not to be on this emotional rollercoaster anymore. I still missed him, but never backtracked and deleted him off my contacts. Good for you. Fast forward a month later, I meet A. Okay. Let's say Alex, right? And A is kind,

smart, funny, and I can tell he likes me a lot. He's stable. Doesn't make me feel like a crazy person. I feel very secure and comfortable with him. We've only been together for two months, but I'm not feeling the flop on my bed in pure happiness. I can't believe I found this guy sort of butterflies that I experienced with Nate. Maybe it's because Nate made me feel the highest of highs, but also the lowest of lows. But in your lady's opinion, are sparks necessary? It sounds silly, but do I need to feel butterflies with A, with Alex? I feel secure and comfortable with him and can see myself going down a long-term route with Alex. Do sparks just take time? And because I was so wrapped up with Nate, I just need time to let that fade. What were your experiences being

with your now partners any advice is greatly appreciated please call me jay okay so jay we've got nate and alex and jay for uh jennifer okay there jennifer nate and alex well i think jennifer is coming at us pretty sane her mind is pretty sound in terms of like the scenario that is at uh at the at play right now yep and i can't help but think that yeah like where she says how she felt those highs and those lows. And when you feel that kind of rollercoaster of emotions, you're kind of always like that guy ends up being like a drug for you. So yeah, you do get those fucking butterflies. You do want to see what's around the corner next because it's always fucking different. And so then, yeah, you meet Alex and things just feel safe and stable. So

do you equate that to not feeling butterflies? Like, I don't know. I feel like she needs like that period of homeostasis where she can like kind of have some stability before she makes a judgment call on Alex. Do I think butterflies are important? Do I think being excited about your new partner is important? Of course. But if you're comparing it to something that was, let's be honest, dysfunctional beforehand, I don't know if she's coming at it at the right Mindset Right now Yeah

Like if there was No Nate And you were like Alex Like when I come home After I see him I'm not flopping On my bed

And like I don't know It turns into Like a rom-com Montage Then it would be One thing But

You know I agree with you I think that The intensity That you just Came off of Is so fresh Yeah

I don't think It's fair to Alex Yeah Yeah But she does ask, so what was your – like, I mean, and that's what – she asked us how, like, our current relationships happened. And I didn't have the same butterflies. You're flaunting your hair at me right now. No, I'm trying to rub my scalp.

It hurts. You know when you have your hair up and then you get that – Oh, yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Okay, sorry. I feel like you're doing this thing where you're like, oh, look at my – I'm just going to let my long locks come down from its bun. And shake it all around.

We are currently in a hair growing competition. Yeah, we are. And I would like to tell you that when you told me my hair was short, my hair is down past my boobs. Where is your hair? Just that day, it looked shorter. It's also down past my boobs. Okay, so our hair is the exact same length right now. I'm just saying that day, it looked a little bit shorter.

Okay. Sorry. let's go back to Jennifer um where was I right Corey I didn't have butterflies like I did about uh other past boyfriends because granted the other past people were dysfunctional and crazy and made me feel insane and sometimes that insanity feels like excitement um but I loved when I met Corey I loved that he well he's insane but I love the safety of the relationship I love the stability. I love the fact that I could trust him. And those grew into not butterflies, but real feelings, if that makes sense. Yeah. So I feel like you have to wait for those because

butterflies don't really mean fucking much because I'll tell you, butterflies fade quickly no matter what. Yep. I will say that I'm not saying that this applies to you and Corey. However, I also think that there's this old saying, and I think people of an older generation say it more often, but it doesn't suck to be the person who likes or doesn't… How do I say this? It doesn't suck to be the person in a relationship who is loved more. Okay. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? So you're saying that… Like everything, yes. Listen, in a perfect world, open up your textbook about love you should love equally but at the same time sometimes it just so happens that people are like one person's way more into the other and the other takes a little bit longer to come around

there's a chase and in that yeah and in that time if you're the person who needs a little bit more time to come around you should enjoy that like yeah looking back I remember when if looking back because I was around when you and Corey started. The read I had on that was, oh my God, he is coming for her. Oh, hard. He literally like day three came with a suitcase into my apartment and was like ready to move in. I was like, pardon me. I haven't even broken up with my ex-boyfriend yet. Right. And you were getting there. Like you were like, okay, let me just live here for a minute. As you said, you weren't like super intense about it, but Corey was super intense about you. And the thing is, is that like in that space,

Corey liked you more than you liked him. And that can deflate the butterflies for sure. That can. But it's also, it's about your perspective. Because if you come at it from a rom-com perspective, of course, you know, especially for women, you're going to be like, oh, but I want what this person had in that movie.

But it's quite enjoyable, actually, to be that person. Fond over. Yes. Yes. Yeah. Yes and no. It depends. It depends who is doing the fawning. But yes, I get what you're saying. Generally, yeah, it's very nice to be like the center of attention and being put up on a fucking pedestal every day for nothing. Yeah. But is that where Jennifer's at? Like, she's not saying that this guy, Alex is just seems really into her. Alex is into her. She's

into alex but she's just saying do i need to feel all the love fields like do i need to be fucking skipping through fields of grass and fucking wildflowers with him to mean that it is the real deal like is that she wants to know if that's what she needs to be feeling in this new relationship and i don't think so i think you can come at relationships in different ways and they don't have to be like all guns a blazing um they can still be as wonderful without all the fucking fireworks. Yeah. And I also don't think, Jennifer,

that you need to put pressure on the relationship. It's been two months. Listen, if in two, three, four more months or whatever, you're still feeling really beige about this, then for sure, then of course it's time to be like, do I want to be spending more time with a person who doesn't get me excited? I get that.

But right now, I think that you're feeling each other out. you're having a good time. You're clearly the person who's being pursued. Like, have fun with that. I agree. Enjoy that. Enjoy the stability of this relationship. Even if it doesn't last for long, it's a nice transition at the very least. Yeah, exactly. Good luck. And yeah, I mean, I guess we don't have to worry about you because look at you. You met a guy who's good to you. He's not giving you any grief. Let's live here in this 2020 space. I think you're good. Yeah. I love that you picked Nate, though, for that first guy's name, because Nate's such a good name for somebody who just like makes you feel fucked. Anyway, go on.

Totally. Nate is a total fuckboy. Totally. Okay. Hi, Sasha and Lainey. I'm hoping you can give me some advice on a friendship dilemma. I'm in my early 40s and have been friends with my BFF, Stacy, since we were five. She moved away when we were kids, but in our late 20s, we reunited in the same city, and it was as though we had never been apart. At the time, I was leaving a decade-long abusive relationship, and so Stacey and I spent most of our time together.

We found ourselves both single, but I was lucky enough to fall in love soon after with a close guy friend, Will, whom I knew for years. When I did start dating Will, Stacey was jealous that I found a guy so quickly after my toxic relationship. She would make a few snide comments here and there, but those ended when she got into a relationship a few months later. At that time, she sporadically kept in touch. I was enjoying life and my new relationship when suddenly I was in a serious accident

and suffered pretty bad injuries where I had to relearn how to walk and eat. I got a text from Stacey here and there, but never really an offer to help. Even though we'd only been dating for a few months, Will was my rock who helped me through all the pain and the rehab. I spent years working my way back into regular life, and when I was healthy, my friendship with Stacey became strong again. Will and I eventually got married, had kids, and Stacey did the same with her partner, and our friendship went back to normal. Then, as bad luck would have it again, in my mid-30s,

I suffered a fall that left me with a permanent disability, lots of pain, and limited ability to leave the house. Think quarantine, but permanently. Needless to say, my relationship with Stacey dwindled down to very few interactions, which brings us to today. When I do interact with her, it's almost always me initiating. She talks about her life, but never asks how I'm doing. I've reflected on my behaviors to see if I'm the problem, but I don't bring up any disability or complain about my current situation when we chat. I stay positive and listen to her issues. Stacey is the last friend I have. All other friends and family have lost touch since my last injury as they don't understand my limitations. I've tried forming new friendships via support groups, but I

find them to be very negative and pessimistic. Plus, I'm short on energy, so I reserve all of my strength, my husband and kids. Will suggested that I should just forget about Stacey as he can be my BFF, but he's already so much to me and does so much for me. Oh my God. I'm going to cry. I know. I feel that same way too. Oh yes. That I don't want him to have to fulfill every rule of the people who I'm missing in my life. So what should I do? Cut off the one friend I have left and just rely on Will or hang on to Stacey in hopes that our friendship gets back to a better place thanks so much for your help and give it to me straight i can handle it oh julia julia can you just come over julia come over i'll give you my address let's just fucking hang out

i will be your friend oh i hate this so much i hate this julia sounds wonderful i julia yes after all you've been through julia i mean yeah um what's that bitch name stacy um i okay so listen of course i want to say that bitch stacy but to be fair to stacy julia did say that when they do talk she doesn't talk about her disabilities she doesn't talk about her chronic pain she doesn't talk about anything negative she's like wants to just keep on being this ray of sunshine right so in all fairness does stacy not know the actual lived reality of what's happening in julia's life right right so yeah that's sort of like step one if you haven't told stacy actually how you feel then yes stacy can't step up as a

friend should stacy probably know because she knows that you've gotten in not one but two very severe accidents shouldn't she know just like intuitively as a fucking friend to step up be there to ask the goddamn questions? Yes. But I guess for all purposes of what we do here is giving advice and ideally some good advice is you need to have an open dialogue with Stacey and be like, listen, I think that I've kind of fucked it up here because I haven't told you how badly I need you. Right. I agree. Okay. Like it's, it's that one. I mean, I think that, I think that you walk away, Julia, if you feel like you've left it all on the line, but it doesn't sound to me, given your description of, of the friendship and like the, the lingering thoughts that you have

about the friendship and you keep going back to it, I don't know that you feel that you've left it all on the line. Like, have you been the person who is like, hey, Stacey, this is who I am. Do you want to be my friend? And if you get bullshit back, then yeah, you walk, right? You do as Will says and you walk because frankly, that person is not worth your time. If you're coming to them and you're like, this is the reality of my life and I am in pain a lot, but our friendship was a great source of joy to me and has been, and I would like you to be a bigger part of my life. You know, I think that you have to like go for it first and then depending on the response, then you stop going for it or you may be pleasantly surprised. Surprised in the best way,

in the most ideal way. Yeah. And that has to happen pretty quickly. Like when you have that conversation you need to see that um that course of action from her come right away and it's funny because remember like i don't know if we can air this but it's not like i'm giving up anything but um we were recently interviewed for a book that's coming out about friendships and i remember the person asked me um like what is the most important um thing that you look for in a friend and it is a person for sure when you're fucking down who's there she was like not funny and i was like Fuck funny. I need somebody who will be there for me in the worst of times and who shows up without me asking. That is what I want for friendship. Like I need ride or die. We've

talked about that so many times. So the fact that you have to ask your friend of what, 20 years, she said, to step up is disappointing to me. But because Julia doesn't want to go looking elsewhere because Julia knows that, you know, having her husband be her BFF at the same time is probably not the best scenario as well. Then I want her to, yes, as you said, put it out on the line. But I also do that. And if, if, if Stacey, as I said, doesn't step up, then I think it's time to say bye-bye Stacey, like see you later. Yeah. But you also have to remember Julia that friendship right now for a lot of people is not in person. You know, we are all strengthening or maintaining our friendships, you know, like this over FaceTime or Zoom calls or whatever. Like,

I mean, at least in our world, we haven't really been, especially we, you know, we used to do some backyard visits, but we stopped those because like as soon as schools opened, it changed the game. Yeah. Right. So friendship is about making that phone call. And it might be not easier, but it might be less awkward to do this final attempt at getting to another level in your friendship with Stacey on the phone or on FaceTime rather than like, you know, I know that you're at home like most of the time anyway, like that is your life, but everybody else is as well right now. So kind of the playing field has been leveled in that sense for you. But also it doesn't mean that like, you know, on the one hand, yes, work on laying it on the line with Stacey,

but it doesn't mean that that has to be your only source of friendship. I know what you said about support groups and the people you met there were in different stages of their, you know, emotional processing, their injuries and their situations. And that's like, that's fair. I get it. But as I just said, lots and lots of people are connecting more than ever digitally, especially over the last seven, eight months. And groups of friends are found in different unexpected areas. So I'm just going to give this as an example. You can roll your eyes, Sasha. And Julia, probably.

And Julia. And this doesn't have to be it, but… Oh, for fuck's sake. Julia, what do you love? You're going to say BTS right now. Yeah, I am. Okay. But Julia, what do you love?

Like, is it a TV show? Are you a fan of a certain book series? Are you a fan of a television series? These days, one of the things… The internet is full of trash all the time. But one of the things that it has done for people is community. Yep. And the reason I'm citing BTS is because, yes, there's a huge BTS fan base.

And many of them, in addition to caring about BTS, that is what has initially bonded people. You're hearing that people have formed real friendships. Okay. Virtual meetups. You know, when, before COVID, there were lots of BTS fans. like a person would go to a concert by herself with the understanding that people she had been talking to online would meet her there and they'd all go together. I mean, I know for you that sounds crazy and you would never, but would you? This is where I get, I love that advice. And I

actually think you're so right. And it has so much value. No, no, but it has so much value. But I'm wondering if somebody who is like of our age, who's never done that before, if they can do that like would you do that knowing that you love bts would you go somewhere by yourself and meet your bts friends a new friend this year pardon yeah who is your new friend her name is liz so okay uh and you know me i you don't have new friends who the fuck is exactly exactly okay so um i got an email many months ago maybe it was towards the end of 2019 okay From a person called Liz, a little bit younger than us, but still like early 30s. Okay.

In New York, works in the music industry adjacent, is a big fan of BTS, but didn't have anyone to share it with. Sent me a long email, like academic email thoughts on BTS. Yeah. We started writing emails back and forth. Talk about Zoom dick. Zoom dick came out when you read that. Yeah.

And yeah, like we started exchanging emails for about six months. We'd write to each other maybe once or twice a week. Okay. This is so cute. And then over the last two months, because email is so clunky, we were like, okay, let's WhatsApp. So now we're on WhatsApp and we WhatsApp each other multiple times a day. Right.

Okay. This is… And she is my new friend. As soon as… Like, not as soon as, but when this pandemic is over… You're going to see her. I am going to New York to meet her. I love this.

Okay, that I fucking eat my fucking words. Okay. So I'm just saying, Julia, what do you love? Is it cooking? Is it recipe books? Is it gardening? Because I guarantee you, whatever you love, there's a community out there. And the thing about these online communities is they will embrace people who love the thing that they do.

And then you weed out the like the crazy ones. And then you kind of, you know, you find the one or two people that you get excited about texting and get excited about exchanging messages with. OK, listen, if the person who I've never seen be friendly can be friends with someone this way, then this is like easy breezy, Julia. but you know what's important too is like I think when Julia was like you know I'm trying to find these support groups within um like the commonalities of her disabilities and it seems like Julia like her running theme is like don't fucking bring me down like I want to fucking be positive all the time and then of course right she finds those those groups those communities a bit negative because she doesn't want to be reminded of it every time so yes take Lenny's advice which

is find the stuff that does make you fucking stoked and happy and find those online um because yeah, I think you'll, I think, listen, new friendships can blossom apparently. Oh, so I'm the lamest of them all now of all of our friend group. I'm the worst one. So Julia, good luck with Stacey, but also with figuring out what you love and going out and like finding and meeting people who also love the same thing. Yeah. And keep us posted. You're amazing. Yeah. You sound lovely. We adore you. So final question. Hi, Sasha Laney. My question is about cold sores. I get them about once every two months and I find them to be embarrassing as fuck. I'm recently single and obviously have to tell people I'm hooking up with when I have one, but I have no

idea how to bring it up. Should I wait until I have one and be like, oh yeah, no kissing now, or preface casual relationships with a talk? I've had them since I was a super young kid and I know they're riddled with stigma and definitely not the hottest thing to look at. So I'm struggling to find a way to make it less embarrassing for me. Please help XOC. Okay. C, how do you do? Yeah. When and where do you introduce the conversation? I don't think it has to be something prelim. I don't think you need to set somebody up for a cold sore because listen, like Corey, as you know, has cold sores every once in a while. And, and I will say, sorry, what was her name? What did she say? C. C. C. Go Google cold sores, Lainey Gossip, because I wrote about a fucking great

cold sore remedy that Corey and I found in Mexico, and it is the shit. It really has helped him. It speeds the recovery time. So just on that sense of treatment, just take a look and see if that works for you, because that would be great. Secondly, they're just fucking zits. It's sort like do you have to prepare somebody like hey I have a fucking big ass zit on my face like just don't look at me or like you don't have to prepare somebody for something like that like it is basically a fucking zit on your lip like no fucking big deal anybody who is like above the age of 13 should fucking have a grip right like it's it shouldn't be a make or break you're not like oh you're a disgusting person oh you're dirty you don't have to explain when you got it how you got

it. Like there's nothing to be ashamed of. And, you know, as she says, there's stigma. Of course, there's stigma around it. But I don't think you need to make a bigger deal of it because it's not a fucking big deal. Yeah. If you make it a big deal, it is a big deal. So it's a shrug. It's like, oh, yeah, I can't kiss tonight. Yeah. Look at this fucking thing. Can't do it. But you don't even have to point to it. Just be like, you know, oh, no, can't do that tonight. It's it's so I mean listen it starts with normalization starts with you being normal totally right that is that is and listen this is so probably you've heard this a million times before but it's always different when you're the person who has the cold sore so let's like don't think that I don't get

it I get I get them um you do I don't get them yeah I mean I had this is what happened in 20 I I've never had I never had one my whole life and then um in I think it was like 2010 so 10 years ago um I had my makeup done by someone who'd never done my makeup before and who has never done my makeup since and not someone we work with regularly because the artists we work with regularly are amazing so this is like a one-off situation I don't need to get into why Got it. And, uh, the next day or maybe two days later I got my first cold sore. Right. It was contaminated brushes. Yeah, that's right. And since then I have gotten them, I've gotten one maybe every three or four years. If it's a bad winter, maybe it's once every other year. Right.

I had one. I don't, I can't believe you can't remember this. Five days, five days before the Oscars in 2019. Oh yes. I do remember that. Yes. And I had it for the Oscars. So I got that like nude tape. Yes. I remember that. And then, you know, our makeup artists were great and gave me a great lip and, you know, we covered it up. But I understand like, you know, and for me, I don't get this, get them as often as C obviously. So I understand like it's embarrassment, it's mortification, all of that. Like, especially it's every, if you know what it feels like to have a zit on your nose, right? Like the cold sore is the same thing. So I want to be clear that even though we're giving you this advice, like normalize it, of course, like there, we understand how it

feels for you inside. Um, that said, let me give you some perspective on the other side. I feel like if you're the one who doesn't have a cold sore and you're talking to somebody who does have a cold sore, trust me, the other person isn't standing there saying, oh, C is so gross. Oh, C. It's not molly, molly, molly, molly. No, totally. Totally. Yeah. Right? It's not that. You might glance at it, but we're all so narcissistic and self-involved that immediately our thoughts go back to ourselves. Totally. Like you have to remember that like other people aren't fixating on it as much as you are. Or like, listen. Or at all. Or at all. Or they see it and they're not going to judge you as a partner, right? Or they're a piece of shit if they do that.

Like when Corey, I know that for sure when I started dating Corey, he got them like more often than he does now and it's not like I would be like oh you're so fucking disgusting I'd be like fuck that's a fucking big one okay next like it wasn't it's not something that I dwelled on and you're right like I'm not gonna pretend like people don't notice them you're gonna they're gonna notice them but yeah they're as Lainey says they're not gonna fixate them fixate on them so much that like all they're looking at is your fucking cold sore yeah it is what it is too in a way too it's like you can't really do much about it and making it like this big palaver is just like not the right move and having to like sit someone down to tell them that is also just so

unnecessary just like can't kiss that day yeah it's just like yeah hey can't kiss today so you know and that listen that kind of confidence is so attractive yeah totally so um but look at my But look up my look up my column from a few years ago because I hope that helps because it helped Corey like from getting them like once every three months to like once like a year. So take a look at that. If that helps. Great.

I'm going to go get some, too, just in case. Yeah. Because like we always have this stress and cold weather and whatever. And like it's not like we haven't been fucking low on stress this year. I know. On that note, thanks for listening, everybody. Yes. Keep your questions coming to me at Sasha at LaineyGossip.com.

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