When Reality Hits with Jax and Brittany - Brittany & Zack LIVE!

Episode Date: December 6, 2024

Live from New York, it's the first ever When Reality Hits LIVE SHOW with your favorite Kentucky Besties, Brittany Cartwright & Zack Wickham! Check out our holiday sponsors!! JLO Beauty: Head to JLOBeauty.com/realityhits for 20% off plus THREE FREE GIFTS, including two quality Face Masks and one hydrating Beso Balm!! G-Defy: Need comfy shoes for parent life? Head to GDEFY.com and use code REALITYHITS for 50% off your entire order! Progressive: Quote your car insurance at Progressive.com to join the over 28 million drivers who trust Progressive!

Hello! Thank you guys so much for coming! I'm so excited. The first live show ever for When Reality Hits. Obviously, there's a big difference from whenever I started the podcast, but I think Zach... You mean a taller difference? A taller, yes. But I think Zach is the best, right? Yeah. Okay. Thank you for sitting in the front row. I'll pay you after.

Yeah. We, you know, it's been a journey and I'm just so grateful to be able to do things like this. I think this is going to be so fun. I'm very nervous, not going to lie. She's so silly, y'all. She's not nervous at all. I was like, I know.

Let's give her a round of applause. I'm nervous. Thank you. Thank you. I was like, it's all friends. It's all family tonight. Come on. I'm nervous.

Got a lot of pressure. She's so silly. But honestly, I made this graphic real fast. She's so silly. But honestly, I made this graphic real fast. So... Zach, like, I could have not done any of this without Zach. I'm just telling you. Why are you laughing? Probably because my lips look like they're 20 million miles long.

But, you know. Oh my god, your lips do look like... What did I do to them? I'm just kidding, I don't edit photos. By the way, FaceApp, everything before, thank you. We'll get the yonder things, okay? We will appreciate all the Facetune, all that stuff, we don't care. But I would like to fix this image real quick. Is that okay? Yeah. I just want to... Oh there it is. No I'm not looking at her sexually in case we're wondering. That is for the food on Cruz's head

unfortunately. Spaghetti, wow. I was very tan. Or are you very tan? You look very tan. He's a spray tan queen. You love a good spray tan. Guys, I could live in New Jersey and thrive. You should have seen me when I flew in. Oh yeah, he was glow in the dark. It was like... And you know it's like so we start the flight also we'll get into the story of us getting here it's gonna be fun. Join the ride with us guys. Yeah. Take some shots too. Please tequila shots if you're like me. If you're like us you know right. But basically coming here yeah you know how like you show up in your one color and then you land the plane because we were in different rows and then all of a sudden she didn't recognize

me leaving and I was a different color? That's how I spray tan. And then you wash it off and then I look glowing, right? Yeah, glowing. And you have a little stick mark on your cheek. I love it. Did you get I did I love it No, I love it. So so Obviously, we have to roast ourselves to start this because guys we don't I hope you understand

Brittany and I do not live in Delululand Delusional we are not as much as people think that I am, I'm definitely not, okay? Actually, can we correct that right now? Do you understand when people say certain things, you're like, yeah, I know. Why are you saying it for the 90th time? Yeah, like when they're like,

why did you leave them a long time ago? I'm like, duh. Okay, all right. And trust me, I'm on your side. I've been on your all side, I've been there. The trenches were so deep, I couldn't get, yeah. You know what, we'll get to that point too. But you know what, we wanted to start

with something really fun, because we wanted to engage with you all, and we definitely want all of your opinions as we show you these next parts. So by the way, if you didn't know I have like my master's in business, so like I'm very corporate. I did corporate. He's actually very smart. I'm like here guys. He made this whole like what's this called again? PowerPoint. PowerPoint. He made this whole PowerPoint. And'm like, Zach, you are amazing because I could have

never done this by myself. So I love you. No, I love you more. For those corporate girlies out there, it's a slide deck. So okay. Okay, sorry. I'm not a corporate girlie. They work nine to five.

They have to like go into work. It's not fun. Cause that's how I learned this. Oh, oh, oh. Here goes our power point. Okay, so wait, we're gonna start with fashion please, because you know what? We know we should be grilled about a lot of things

we've done and a lot of decisions. Exactly. I mean, not tonight though. Stand up. Do you not look like Linda? Is this the good witch right here? I'm just hoping my titties don't pop out. We're trying.

No, those titties are secure. I was just making sure the chucha ain't coming out the other side. You know what I mean? I've got underwear on, but also my shoes are very sparkly and cute It's very Glenda. I love it But we know we should be arrested for most of the shit we do

So we're gonna let you all in on a couple of our Misfortunes that we've gone through or gone decided that we thought we're good at the time I mean, or did we think they were good? I've been in this life for about 10 years now and looking back I'm like eeee. Again, if you think we're delusional, we are really not. We own our, no there are some other people. We realize. No there's some other people. Are you gonna put other people on here without me knowing. So she made me delete them, she made me delete them. She was like, no, we can't be mean. No, we can't be mean. I love everybody that's part of it. But she didn't know how to edit this PowerPoint. Oh my god! Okay. All right. Here we go. Just kidding. Okay, so let's start with like a really good one I kind of look good with a little bob

No, you look no, that's why I keep using this photo of you. You look so good and I look so tan in that other one But just don't look at my hair. Okay, great Okay, so in a in a courtroom, we have my first offense. All right, let's see. Now, we could go for my duck lips, or what you all keep saying like, oh, can you like open your mouth? Trust me, I open my mouth plenty. And that was on like a Nokia something.

Wait, what's it called, Casio? What were the one Sony cyber shot? Nobody in here knows that no I'm thinking of a Nokia like an iPhone 15 Um, I went through this phase Yeah, I wore Headbands like how many times a day like how many times a week? No? I thought it was I thought it was so clever I was like I'm gonna wear a headband with this and if you don't think I would wear a headband with this you didn't know me in 2014

So um I think it's so Bottom of your chain I need to know that oh That's actually a fun story. I like that, see, you didn't even know what was, okay, so, at the bottom of this chain is actually a watch. It was a... A watch? Yeah, I thought I was Alice in Wonderland. I was like the I was like the gayer rabbit. And then one night I got really angry and I threw it I was like the gayer rabbit. And then one night I got really angry and I threw it, true story, threw it and then

went to Jimmy John's and went home, thought I lost this like- Jimmy John's. Great necklace. Apparently someone had seen me do it. Two years later came back to Louisville and just so happened to like be like, no, you threw your necklace at me and I've like, it like scarred me and I have it would you like it back and I was like I would most definitely like that back. So where is it now? I threw it again. Of course you did. So we don't have it. Obviously no

throwing has happened since 2016. Yeah, we're young in a lot of these things. Exactly. And we're still young up here. Oh yeah, I'm young. 35. It's not old. I'm young, thriving, and ready to go.

And obviously, I'm the younger sibling. Up. So at the end of each sibling. At the end of each picture, you guys are our jury. So you get to say jail or what's another, actually I never thought of the other word. I think we end up in jail in all of them. They're all jail. Wait should we just say acquitted or jail? Okay great. So jail or acquitted? Okay I'm gonna say one two three. One two three. Jail. Yeah we know. Thanks. Okay and we're locked up for life. Oh my god my PowerPoint skills are so great. I know. PowerPoint I'm so impressed by you. Do you also love that she didn't know what it was called?

Like it's literally like I just forgot from like the seventh grade what it was called. Automatically downloaded on your iPhone, right? No, oh, that's that other thing. I don't even know what that other thing pages Okay, so I haven't been corporate in a while. Hey, listen, I'm on that mom life right now, so I got time for PowerPoint. How many skincare products do you have sitting in your bathroom right now? Probably too many. Want to know the magic number? Five.

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Your feet deserve a holiday too. Okay, so now obviously we have to go on to Britney. Now, now can anybody say what this is from? Does anybody know? My first interview ever with Lisa Vanderpump. Everybody let's go aww. She's so cute. Look at my little boobies.

Oh my goodness. I don't think they're that little. They're non-existent. But listen, Jack actually took me No wait, I need you to tell the full story. Oh, I'm telling the full story. So,

Jack took me to Venice Beach. We bought that at a little beach store that day and he was like, oh you have to wear this because the girls wear like Saint Tropez dresses and they're like wearing less than Hooter Girls wear so she will love to see you in that. And then I show up. Now is pale wait, but you didn't know but can we clarify? You thought you were just meeting her. Oh, I thought I was just meeting her didn't think I was doing like a full-on interview Which was also terrifying me so mean meeting list Lisa Vanderpump in general is Terrifying you know like she's so fabulous So, you know like that's very scary

So let alone interviewing for her. Yeah, so I go in and she's like where your trousers? Was it trouser britches or trousers? Is someone British out there? Where are your trousers and I'm like snowsers I'm like I don't know like Jackson to wear this outfit I'm so sorry also freaking out but also in your defense and maybe this one time he's actually was true she I was like she's more covered than though the central pay dresses. Yeah, right. Yeah, the central pay dresses were Like I think I had a bra on under there. Maybe I don't know I was like, I know Kristen didn't even have tape. Yeah Whoever said oh wear a bra if I had boobs like that. I never wear a bra either. So can we please stop with that?

Me I feel like like that, I'd never wear a bra either. So can we please stop with that? Oh, look at me. I feel like, oh, that was like my first day. Yeah, you were so cute. So long ago. Oh my god, oh, awkward. I didn't even ask. Wait, Jailer acquitted. Oh, yay! Okay, well, I don't have an acquitted image,

so we just have to pass to the next. Thank you so much, so sorry. I love that, because guess what? I thought the same thing. Like, I thought I looked cute. No, I actually thought you looked adorable. And also there there was multiple moments of I'll just say trickery where you were just being like, Oh, I'm doing the innocent or the like the normal thing that I would do. And then you were bamboozled. Yep, bamboozled. The bamboozlement that has gone on in this woman's life I swear to God. Oh it's fine. Don't worry there's a section for that. I'm better now. Okay so the next image we have to oh why did you put that in there? You put that in there. Did you learn PowerPoint just to put this okay Okay, I put it in there. I mean, Lego head. Again, if I get number one, I love that and I actually think it's like the greatest thing ever and I now go by Lego with multiple of my

friends that are like not in the stratosphere of things but um if you think I thought my hair didn't look like that or didn't look like a wig then I should be institutionalized immediately. Like he knew. He knew. But also we're gonna go with the story time. But look at what Twitter looks now right? Barely. It also needs a haircut again. No it looks great. She tried to cry She tried what's your name? Everybody think Caroline for me say hey Caroline That's what you get when you're

It looks great, baby. No, I'm just kidding. Oh, you're cute as a button well Let me just explain this because I feel like as many times as I've gone on a pocket... Do you think they think that because there's a shadow underneath that it's fake? Like, I don't understand. Well, there was a rim on it. Like it went out to about here, so yeah, there was a shadow too.

And a rim, you just can't even see it. Okay, so we'll just go into quick story time. Basically, listen, I've let Nick Viall tug on my hair, every single person tug on my hair. I don't know how many more times I can say, if I had a wig, it would be a good lace front and it would be laid so nicely and it would be so pretty and I would have a drag queen do it

and I would never worry about it again and all y'all would think it's real hair. Yeah, his hair is definitely real. And hence why it looks the way it does. It does whatever it wants, whenever it wants, but I will give you the story. We have to do continuity. Like, we can't change our hair color,

we can't, you know, like certain things like that. Unfortunately, this was at the very end. I couldn't get a haircut in time. They changed my day of confessional Which is what I'm telling everybody Blame the interviews blame the interview. Okay fine fine whatever, but it is true. I cannot say enough that They told me and I shit you not oh we'll fix it in post I

will never believe in anybody ever again they all got fired they got fired the next thing I'm just kidding yeah but yeah unfortunately I was naive but I learned for whatever you look she does a button who cares but it's just a jail yeah yeah fine I pray to God that never comes back also that that literally I don't know what they did to darken it that dark. Okay, we'll stop now. Okay. We're done.

We're done with the Lego hair. You see the next one? Oh, okay. Now it's your story time. That was the whole first season of the valley was my fault because No, actually, I don't even blame you because Your surgeons did tell you oh, this is a one week two week process. No, did it three weeks three weeks But you did it I did it four weeks before

And thought that my job would be back and ready to go for the season. And it definitely wasn't. And I admit that. I know that. Are you sure it wasn't ready to go? There was a while where I had to be like, if I wanted to speak, I had to hold my bottom lip down like this and I was like, That's how she controlled her muscle, y'all.

Like, I could not even move my mouth. Otherwise, it was like, Ararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararar We don't we don't read it. We don't look at them. We don't I won't mention their names but still listen I Am terrified about a turkey gobbler neck I've always been off like very public about that and Well, no you just I tried I tried my hardest to get it done before it came out, but you wanted a little judge I want a little okay, we're gonna take a poll real quick raise your hand if you're perfect and don't want any judge Exactly Volumes okay, so like we get it

We all want to judge and like if I talked about my toe surgery or my thigh reduction You know my nipple enlarging by the way people have said do you have nipple implants? Are hard a lot probably like sex in the city whenever somebody that wears like the nipple things Yeah, I was I love I was doing that Like go back to them a lot. I was doing that skin thing before Kim even came out with the hard nipples like I Would say about sex in this it at the city. I know yeah, it's way better Yeah, so anywho, but she does look pretty in this picture Well she knew she had to do something to take away from that gauze I

Was like I have to be able to speak right now. Guys, we're not gonna lie, leading up to the first, she was like, I don't know what I'm gonna do. It was bad. It was bad. I was like, I don't think I'm going to be able to talk on this show without holding my lip. I will say one of my favorite times was when we're at Michelle's house, the infamous scene, okay, everybody knows. And you're like, you're like, Kristen, and your mouth is literally down to here.

There was this tweet, to this day, I won't ever forget. It was like, ooh, they're gonna regret this in 10 years. And it was Brittany with her mouth down like this and me With my hair the the image I just showed and I tweeted back. I was like, yeah, we regret that now You think we need to wait ten years? No, we like know that it's weird as hell Also, we got a surprise not delusional Not delusional again. She wouldn't let me put the delusional. Not delusional. Again, she wouldn't let me put the delusional ones

in the PowerPoint. There might be some references later. Okay, let's continue. Okay, do we? Oh, okay, so who said that? I like that one. You know what? I'll allow that.

You can wear an ankle brace like Lindsey Lohan. Well, again, I didn't prepare for other... Lindsay Lohan also blow up is like, woo! She looks amazing. Yeah. I swear to God, if I had a cryo chamber and enough money, I would look amazing too. But I'm only on season one. So... And everybody was like, oh, you're season two glow up. I was like, how much do you think I get paid for season two? I was like, oh you're a season two glow up. I was like how much do you think I get paid for season two? I was like try season five. Thanks. I was like do you see how much work this needs?

Oh people I can't okay. Well, sorry. I don't have other images for acquitted or probation He only has jail He just thought that everybody be like jail no matter what no matter what, jail. Your jaw is jail. But I also feel like they're just being nice. Well, no, actually they're being nice to you because it's actually you look great in that photo. I have lashes on. I have pink lashes on.

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I don't even know what the next photo is. Now I'm scared. I forgot. What is it Zach? I don't know. Well, oh, it's every other, so it's me but I don't know what it is. You actually look really hot right there. Again, I think it was like a Casio camera or a cyber shot. Can I just tell you, I worked at Abercrombie

for two weeks and they kept me in the back room Like I did not think I was in the front being like I worked a whole store for two weeks Be like yeah, but you quit because you were too hot to be there. I quit because I was too like ugly and overworked Absolutely not look, but did you do Okay. But did you do this? You did the double. By the way, those are, actually I don't even know what those are. I think those are track pants at some point.

They're very reflective. I could have jogged at night in pitch black and you would have seen me. Perfect. But didn't you do the two? No. Oh. Like the sleeves. Some people were cooler than me. Maybe I did do the sleeves? No. Oh. Like the sleeves? Some people were cooler than me. Oh, maybe I did

do the sleeves on the sleeves. Or did anyone do the pop? I just didn't have any pictures of the pop. Oh, the pop collar. On your MySpace profile? Did anybody buy the MySpace CD so you could get three extra pictures with the code? No? Great. Wrong audience. Do you guys have MySpace? I know. What's our crowd right now? Do we have MySpace? Okay, okay. My first song. Oh my god, what is it? Did you know that you can have like a song on MySpace?

Mine was... I'm like kind of embarrassed to say it. It was Tweet. What's her name? Tweet? Tweet, yeah. Oh my god, Was it? No, I love this song. Say it. Sing it. No, I can't think right now. Over my button. Oops. Oh my. It was oops. Oh my. Remember that one? Oops. No. Oh, that one. She said, what's your name? Okay, perfect. Do you want to sing oops? Oh my? Okay, that was a nope no no, okay.

No it was, no no no, it was I'm Conceited, I Got A Reason. Do you guys remember that song? Way Too Good To Be You, and I Way Too Good To Be You. Okay, sorry. I was like what was that? Sorry. I know that's no, no, no, no song. How is your first MySpace song? But that was mine. You know what though? I really would. I don't know about you or any of you, especially the ones that don't know about MySpace, but I'd really like to bring back top eight. No, not me.

Not me. My friends on the valley would be, mm-mm, mm-mm. No, I'd be fine. Nope, no, no, y'all be so butthurt every single time I put up my top eight. Can't do it. Not me. Can't do it. No, I feel like the top eight was what,

that's what like created me That is what you know, like literally was like the seed that created Zach Wickham So like, you know, I would really like to go back to that. You know what? I might have to implement that next season At every party you have to top eight and only the top four get to come Who or Abby Lee Miller for those younger ones. We'll do Top of the Pyramid. Top of the Pyramid. It'll never be Janet. I'm just, oh, I'm just, JK Rowling.

I'm just kidding, I'm just kidding. I had to, love you, Jay, wherever she is. Lordy. Did anybody get it? No, okay. I asked him not to say shit about any of the other pass movers. Okay, I had to like, rib a little. Okay, um, obviously this is jail. Jail. Oh yeah, because you're cute. You're cute.

I'm wearing the track pants under my pants. Okay, and jail. Oh, I know this one. What? Oh! So this is Brittany's first Watch What Happens Live. Yeah. Where she said, let's get real crazy. Let's do something out of the box.

Something no one in Kentucky slash America slash the world would do. It kind of looks better like now that I look at it. Like I thought it was really bad. Now that I look at it, I'm like, oh, no, it was the creation of that. So cute. I know you actually do look adorable. and when you told me to find this picture... I look like Cruz! I look like my son, right? It's supposed to be funny, like we're not all sweet. No, I know, but I was like, I don't think you've seen Cruz lately. I mean, yes you do look like Cruz, but like, not with that hair. Oh yeah, so I didn't like my hair because it was like a bouffant.

It was like straight back. She was trying to be Miley and I don't but I don't think Miley had even been Miley at that point so maybe you're the trendsetter actually you know what maybe you won maybe like that like damn no you were so you're number one. Okay, can we do it again? Okay, sorry, we're gonna do this several times. And by the way, if you don't think we're really best friends, we are, because this is how best friends should be. So if your best friend isn't like me or like her,

then you don't have a best friend. Please stand up, please stand up, stand up, stand up. If I wasn't gay and my boyfriend wasn't somewhere over there, I would semi touch you. No, I'm just kidding, I love you. I would semi touch you. No, but that's because I just can't imagine myself not being gay.

Me either. But no, I'm gonna say, this is quite acquitted, right? We're gonna quit that but like I think it's cuz you were ahead of your time at the time. So what do we say? What do we say? Okay but what about the eyebrows? They look better than Like then then are they ready for the okay, this is a fun one Ready my eyebrows can get crazy sometimes. Whoa. Those are the crazy eyebrows How dare you no, I'm just kidding's clearly technical. I haven't been in corporate in a while. Sorry.

Okay, that's whenever I didn't have eyebrows. I just put us in jail immediately because I was like, nah, we don't need to be there. Can you see her little wisps of eyebrows that she like... This was... Actually, was I a drag queen? Was I shaving half my eyebrows? Neither one of us had eyebrows. My eyebrows, was I a drag queen? Was I shaving half my eyebrows? Neither one of us had eyebrows. What was wrong?

Do we have an iron deficiency? What was going, what was here? No, I made the mistake. It was like the Britney Spears era. I shaved right down the center of my eyebrows. Worst mistake ever. And then I shaved and I shaved and I was like, yeah. It's not that she shaved once, she kept shaving.

Yeah. And she never stopped. So it was the whole thing. It was the whole thing. But like what happened now? But yeah, this was pre Vanderpump, this was pre LA. Oh my God, we're 22 in this picture. Well, no, I'm...

You're 22. I was like, wait a second, you're 22, I'm slightly older. Also, guys, I don't think you understand, my hair just doesn't do other things. I just, someone- Yeah, but Zach, that's like a turd roll. Like that is not good at all. I'm not gonna lie, I thought the turd, no.

That's like the worst of the worst. I literally, if it went, can everybody see my hand? Okay, your hair looks a lot better now, but you were doing a little turd roll-y thing for a while. But like- But I- Look at that. I still think, like I still am like, wait, I don't get why people don't like this.

Like I loved- Zach, your hair now is amazing. Looks great, right? So much better. But that is a turd roll. Can you define a turd roll? And don't point at that image. It's like this.

And it rolls. It's like this. And then it goes off. And then it just goes like that. By the way, her shirt says hi because that was a new vodka that was out Yeah, and she was the new vodka. It was for the Kentucky Derby Yeah, I was like for all those people that don't think with we've been friends for

That was what it's called like whenever you do a like Yeah sponsors, no, but what was? It was like Phillies and something. It was like a really important party. I'm sorry you weren't there. It doesn't have a name. It's like Prince, no name. It's like when you went to a symbol. Except it said the word hi, apparently.

We wanted to start off strong with some like, and by the way guys, again, we need you to be really enthusiastic because this is our first time doing not only a live, but like, thank you. So I might not be delusional, but I do like applause. applause so we wanted to tell you the story time of like what we went through to be here and she's gonna start it by the way we've hidden aspects of this show from each other it's been very hard so that we can surprise each other and have real responses. So if you think anything's also staged, it ain't. What do you mean?

I'm starting it. You are starting it. Okay, fine. She likes when I'm the bitchy one. Yes. That way I can just be like, oh. Who else does she do that with? That was supposed to, oh my God, you guys were supposed to laugh. Be like, ha ha.

Wow. Okay. Great. Won't use that one again. Boston will not be hearing that. Okay. will not be hearing that okay so she got the call to have a live podcast here with city whining which by the way this venue fucking amazing is it have you guys ever been here before oh okay yeah we don't have one in LA but apparently it's like

Atlanta Boston Philadelphia like it's everywhere. And I'm like, this shit is amazing. They also gave us the bigger room than people that we've known our entire lives, like doing a comedy show in the attic or something. And we're like, do they want to switch real quick? Like, wait, what? We're confused. Who said that? Great. Your ticket is comped. We're like, do they want to switch real quick? Like, wait, what? We're confused.

Who said that? Great, your ticket is comped. Okay, great. But wait until we leave. And then find somebody. No, so she gets the call and she's like, hey, Zach, would you want wanna host a live podcast with me at City Winery in New York City?

And I was like, New York City? Duh. Are you paying? And I said, duh. And I was like, that's my best friend. But then we were like, yeah, like, this is, I don't know if you guys have seen the journey that this woman has been on and that she is going on. But I want you to know if you came to this show for any negativity, you will not be getting

it because she is the most positive human that's ever existed. And sorry, again, if you don't have a best friend that's not gonna gush about you in the middle of a show, unbeknownst to whatever PowerPoint somebody put up, this is not my image. No, I'm just kidding. But like, she is literally, the reason you all are here, I hope, is because she is such a light and such like a good person and also like she's funny as hell and She's going places outside of somebody else which I've been saying for years I had to say that okay, but so I digress, but I'm just saying like I keep telling her I'm like you're worth mmm. You want to be worth? Get rid of him. I keep saying him. Bye

I was like, is my fly open? It's not don't worry. No, I love you baby. I love you more. So let me, sorry. I just start getting emotional. So basically she was like, hey, let's do this. And I was like, yeah, because like, I mean, like, listen to us when we're on your podcast, it's amazing.

And so we decided to come here. We had, we didn't think about the date because we're like, oh, in December? Great. We forgot that Thanksgiving is a... It's the week before. It's not on, it's not on the same date every year. It's on the last Thursday. So we didn't realize that if we were coming on a Monday, it was the Monday after like the, like everybody's been off for like a week partying kiki like yeah Let's go see a Broadway show you want to go to City Winery fuck yeah, and then we're the Monday after like we flew home But guess what you guys are here and that means and that is what means the most to us

It's amazing so I appreciate it so much to us. Yeah it's amazing so I appreciate it so much. Thank you, thank you. Yeah this has been crazy, a whole crazy experience and I'm so excited. But like I'm happy to do this especially with Zach like yeah. By the way we both like are very emotional people. Yeah we just like we love you, we love you so much. We're from Kentucky, both of us. People are like. I know people we just like we love you. We love you so much. We're from Kentucky. Both of us. People are like people know that like that is also from Kentucky. We've been best friends for 15 years.

The numbers. She's got to stop saying these numbers. I was like if we're going to lie and say we're 29, we can not. I'm 35 and proud. I don't care. I'm not proud of my age. So let's continue saying younger Before you go because I know why you're cutting me off because you don't want to talk about our hotel rooms. I Mean I guess we can we were no we're not gonna say where we're not gonna say where but it has been a

thing Girl, okay. We got in at 5 a.m. We landed at 5 30 a.m. Oh 5 30 a.m. And then we called out they said oh Graciously, they will let us come up. We're like, oh thank God We don't we're not from New York. So we didn't realize there was a thing called like a tree Big thing that's happening tomorrow night at or Windsor whenever yeah even know again we're still that uninformed but we were like no we're still gonna we're gonna do and then we got our hotel bill and it was like we're not gonna say no it was I will say it was a lot it was a lot it was like

almost $7,000 yeah so for two rooms no two rooms for four nights okay so we were like okay we thought tree lighting we could not find anywhere and when I say and of course I'm paying for everybody's rooms and stuff so but what happened was so my boyfriend wait you want to stand up Benji? No, he doesn't but clap for Benji There he is he'll be on season two halfway. Yes, he will find up. I'm just kidding Okay, so I just did an angel, but he luckily is like the wizard of everything So when we're talking about it, he's already like on the back ends like nah that ain't right

And all of a sudden the rooms that were seven hundred dollars a night when we booked it three days ago or whatever. Oh Yesterday sorry Lori, everybody. Thank you. We love her too. We're now 129 at this hotel. By the way, again, rusted sinks. Oh, so I took a poop. And he loves to tell the story. I'm like, okay, go for it. Well, it's my new favorite story now. So I was taking a poop and all of a sudden, I, well, cause you know, it's a, it's very small. It's New York. And so I flush and all of a sudden, um, this bubbles come up as I'm flushing them. Like, well, it's not that bad. Like I did it yesterday too. So I like flush again and all of a sudden I feel this like heat and I'm like I was like I did not produce that amount of heat and then I was like I was like I was like is this a facial for my butthole?

When I say that the not only was the hand, what's it called? Sink, just a sink, sorry. The sink and the... Wait, I need a shot of tequila. Hello. Where's Anastasia? By the way, can we give it up for Anastasia? She's our handler.

And let me tell you. Woo-woo. We a lot to handle. So the hand sink and the shower, by the way, I like it at 60 degrees at all times. I think I have like either hot flashes or like a problem, whatever. I like it very, very, so does she though. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We both like, we can always share a hotel room, other people can't. Yeah. We literally are like, we want it on 50.

We're like, it needs to be super cold. At all times. So I'm in the scolding hot shower, then I'm washing my hands, scolding hot, then I, and it's facial and I'm like, I don't, it's fine. Like it does not need to be moisturized, like it's facial and I'm like I don't it's fine like it does not need to be moisturized like it's good So let's just say it was a she didn't want me to tell this story I had to tell the story No, I'm sorry because like it was crazy like who goes through like boiling water in your butt. Yeah, I mean Unless we're like tagging the freaking hotel.

No, but we're not. We would never do that. OK, so this was story time. So we'll move on to the next segment, because I feel like I've embarrassed her enough. It's fine. I'm sorry about your boiling pooboo's. Actually, Benji was the only one that had to deal

with the smell after. Sorry, Benji. Because I ran out of the room. I was like, oh, it's not flushing. You're also next door to me. You're also right next door to me. So, I know. Me and Lori probably smelled it.

Sorry, Lori too. Okay, we've talked enough about that. Okay, yeah. Can everybody get a shot? Everybody get a shot. Not on us, not on us. Whoa, whoa Not on us. Sorry that sounded too much like free. That would be great. Maybe next show.