When Reality Hits with Jax and Brittany - Garrett Josemans

Episode Date: November 14, 2024

Love is Blind's Garrett Josemans joins Jax to talk about how he was cast on the show, the emotional demands of shooting, some of his more regrettable moments, and his overall takeaway from the experience. We have holiday deals for you!! Quince: Get cozy in high-quality wardrobe essentials! Go to Quince.com/jb for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns! G-Defy: Need comfy shoes? Use code "Realityhits" for $20 off orders of $100 or more at GDefy.com  Hiya Health: Got growing kids? Get 50% off your first order at HiyaHealth.com/realityhits  RoBody: Look and feel your best! Start your membership at just $99 for your first month at Ro.co/realityhits   Progressive: Quote at Progressive.com to join over 28 million drivers who trust Progressive!

Hello everyone, Jax here with another episode of When Reality Hits. I've got an exciting guest with me in the studio today. He started in the pods, behind a wall, fell in love without ever seeing the person, got married to the woman, became the fan favorite couple the entire season, and now he's sitting here with me today. Let's welcome Garrett Josemans. Did I say that right? That's it, It's perfect.

From Netflix's Love is Blind. Wow, man. Okay. We got a lot to get into here. First of all, congratulations. Thanks. Yeah. It sounds crazy when you read it back. I'm listening. I'm like, that was me. I did that. It's kind of crazy. And clearly this experience worked for you. Yeah. That was probably the biggest surprise. I think at the end of the season, they do like a whole, like a three-hour interview wrap-up and they're sitting you down and you just kind of go through everything. And at the end of it, they're like, what do you have on your mind? Like, what do you want to say at the end is to close this out? And I think I just like broke down.

I just was just overwhelmed with like gratitude that this all worked out the way it did. Just looking back, I'm like, how the hell, so many things had to go right. I mean, I almost didn't make it on the show like I I turned it down twice they came back a third time oh really too yeah they they've reached out to me in April they started filming October 1st okay I turned it down in April I turned back up a second so how did how did they find you to begin with they recruit you on on across social platforms so LinkedIn Instagram and Facebook messenger they reached out but a lot of that stuff goes to junk.

So I wasn't seeing it, and plus I get crap all the time. So then someone commented on my photo and was like, hey, I messaged you, reached out, I'm like, what the hell, and I don't watch reality TV, so when he said love is, I don't know what you're talking about. So I checked into it, talked to some friends who do watch reality TV, and they're like,

oh my God, you gotta do it. So I told them no, and then later that night, I went with some friends and they and they brought that once they told their wives I have they came out and they were like pressure me. They were like circum like you gotta do this like that and I whatever I decided to apply at least for fun, right? And then they once they take it seriously, they're like, alright cool. We want you I was like In your head you're oh Stern in your head and then you got like probably the g? It resonated in your head, you're uh-oh, it's sitting in your stern in your head, and then you got like probably the gist of it all.

And you're like, okay, here's what's going to happen. You're like, oh my God, what did I sign myself up for? Applying is one thing, and like it's just an experience on its own and going through a three hour interview and stuff. But then once you get to actually like, this is real, you got to say yes or no. Is it all what you expected? When they broke it down to you and they told you verbatim what is gonna happen, because I know how producers work. They tell you almost what you wanna hear

and not exactly the whole thing, and then you get into it, you're like, oh shit, I didn't know that. No, I don't, so I'm very type A, I wanna know what we're talking, like they can't just tell me the premise and I'd show up happy day one and let's rock and roll. I had too many questions, they were pushing back. So I did get a lot out of them going into it, I knew kind of what happy day one and like, let's rock and roll. I had too many questions. They were like pushing back.

So I did get a lot out of them going into it. I knew kind of what the structure would look like. So I wasn't really surprised by anything. What I was impressed by was they took a lot of care. Like the creator of the show, Chris Coolen, would come out every morning and like had like an hour long, you know, prep talk if you want. They seemed extremely genuine and everything and it really got us bought into it. This seems legit. And the fact that they truly, because I said, I was like, I don't ever want to be told what to say,

whatever. I don't want to be manipulated any way. I will not do that. And they promised me they wouldn't. And so I was really side-eyeing it the whole way. way and yeah they didn't really they like give you suggestions and maybe you want to talk about this or that but they don't tell you what to say what to do how to respond so I enjoyed that. And like when they were talking you talking to you I guess about your dating life and your past dating life were you like you know I guess quote-unquote was my dating life sucks I'm single this is where I'm at like what like I'm kind of open to anything at this point. Or is that kind of like when they ask you?

Dude, so I'm a very busy person. I work a full-time job and I own two businesses on the side. Like I'm swamped all the time. And I'm very satisfied with that. Outside of that, I spearfish, I spend time with friends and family. That's it. That was my life. I was fulfilled.

But there was something in the past couple of years, like, you know, you're going to be 40 here soon. I mean, I'm 33 past couple years like you know you're gonna be 40 years I'm a 33 right now But like 33 I was single for six and a half years like I put no effort into finding a person right and I was living In a small town Fredericksburg like bumping into like someone like Taylor in the supermarket in Fredericksburg It wasn't happening for me, right so I was just starting to get a little like concern I'm like you're you're not you're missing like prime opportunity like meet somebody here. Especially if you want to have kids. Yeah well exactly right that's a goal in life.

You know if you meet someone when you're 50 you know you lost that chance. So anyway so yeah when they reach out I'm like I don't know but they're asking you what your dating line is like and I'm like I don't I don't date. They ask you this question beginning like what's dating like in DC and I'm like I don't have a good answer for you because I wouldn't know I don't know I'm too far from DC anyway, so I Mean dating god I I'm going back into that world again, too I've been married with somebody for ten years and in you know dating is it's it's shitty because there's all these like

Situationships now. It's this thing that I'm just learning. There's ghosting Oh, dude, you know it also seems very superficial to you like at least that initial part Once you get into it and you start to meet somebody you dive into a bit more and you get past a lot of that Superficial wall, but up front on the dating apps and stuff I mean, it's it's what do you do? How much money do you make how cool are you gonna make me look like? It's just dumb shit And were you at the point where you're like, you know, I have really nothing left to lose You know I mean at this point, so why not try something like this. Yeah, what I was what are my main like? Objective in going into this wasn't I'm gonna get married. I had no hopes of getting married

Let alone finding maybe something different. Yeah, I have really high standards on the personality side of things So I'm like this who's gonna go on a reality TV star probably isn't going to match me on the personality level. Like I don't think we're going to be super compatible, but I knew at the very least this could be like a catalyst for me in the dating world. It would awaken like my, my interest again and like going out and doing this. And I think like, I knew that this needed to happen for me regardless. You're stepping outside of the box. That's it. Yeah. And I'm, I'm actually starting to ask myself, what am I interested in? What do I like and not like when in a woman, like these are all questions that I ignored for so many years, right, that at least this would be the impetus for me going out afterwards, even if nothing came out of it.

And it's kind of, it's a little scary because you're like, what do I like? Especially if you're a guy like you who's been busy and working so long. And you got to figure out quick. And you're going to be like, okay, what do I even like? Like, I don't even know. Are they going to like me? Are they going to be able to adjust to my lifestyle? Because you're not going to stop what you're doing what do I even like? Like, I don't even know, and plus, are they gonna like me? Are they gonna be able to adjust to my lifestyle? Because you're not gonna stop what you're doing. I mean, right? Well, you have to, you have to adjust.

That's the thing, and like, anyone that went in saying, like, I'm not gonna change, you're gonna mold to my lifestyle, like, you're not gonna make it, because that's not what mayor's is. But unless you let them know ahead of time, when you're on your date, saying, hey, this is what I do for a living, these are my businesses, I'm trying to grow my businesses.

I had like one non-negotiable that was like, I'm gonna, I love to spearfish, I'm gonna continue to spearfish. Like, I'm trying to grow my businesses. I had like one non-negotiable that was like, I'm gonna, I love to spearfish, I'm gonna continue to spearfish. Like I was willing to give up businesses or cut back on work here and there or whatever. I was willing to make adjustments and even move, but when it came down to it, like there wasn't a whole lot that,

your partner ultimately shouldn't be asking you to change your entire life for them. Vice versa, like it shouldn't go that way, but you will have to make adjustments, but you have to be ready for that. You know, like you have to check yourself going in and all of a sudden they bring you this thing and I didn't decide until two weeks, you know, they came back to me two weeks before it was time to film. And I had already written this whole thing off. And I'm like, I guess, you know, actually this feels like fate knocking on my door. I'm going to go.

Well, now I got to figure out a lot of things, you know, what, what? Yeah. So I mean the entire plane ride, car ride, like I'm just like extremely, you can see the first six episodes. I'm like extremely serious because I'm trying to figure out a lot of things. Yeah, so the entire plane ride, car ride, I'm just like extremely, you can see the first six episodes, I'm like extremely serious because I'm trying to figure it out. And I still don't really know what I want, particularly people are going like, you didn't know what he wants, what he went on, not at me,

but I love a lot of other people, it's like, who the hell does? Yeah, I don't wanna say, you're on a TV show, you don't have the luxury of first of all, seeing the damn person, okay? You don't have the luxury of sitting down, having dinner, what do you like to do, what's your favorite color? You're on a mission here.

I need to know what you like. We call it dating boot camp. Yeah, it's quick. And almost, now that I think about it, now that I've gone on dates before, I almost like this scenario, this setup, because you get to figure out what you like and what you don't.

You don't have to go through the bullshit of, they're gonna meet you this, and what do you like, your favorite color, and what are your friends like? You can just bypass all that. Dating is way more performative than this was. This was much more in the weeds. Well, let's figure it out.

Yeah, but that's the thing too, is you also wanna try to have fun, see if you can have fun with this person. I remember with Taylor, one of our last dates, I said, I was like, hey, we've been so serious about this whole thing, I don't even know if I can have fun with you. You dates, I said, I was like, hey, we've been so serious to this whole thing, I don't even know if I can have fun with you.

You know what I mean? I am worried about this. Like I sat down one night and was like, what am I worried about with this person? And I was like, we haven't had like fun. That's what dates are. And I'm not putting you on the spot, but the intimacy too.

How do you know if that's going to be fun? Well, right, exactly. And we didn't want to, this thing is too, everyone's different. Like she definitely didn't want to talk about that on camera, and I felt a little bit that way as well, so we agreed, we have to come up with something here, because other girls are wide open, I like this, this, and this, and so you're also at risk

of if you're not being open or vulnerable with your partner in all the ways, someone else could come and grab them up. So we wanted to still talk about that, so we agreed to do that in notes, so we wrote notes to one another and passed them. Oh, that's awesome. I like that way. That's probably the way I would have done it too.

Just because there's some things you just want to keep to yourself. At some point, you know what I mean? Yeah, I mean, Nick D said something about like keeping a brand and all that. Like, I don't know about that, but I just, I know that here's the thing. I eventually will get married

or wanted to get married at some point and have a partner. Let's say it didn't work out with any of these people. I Didn't want them to like watch that back over and see me like, you know being a slut or whatever I actin all freakin goofy on TV. You know to me like like there's a kind of person I'd be into I Don't know you're back. But yeah I think it's it's a permanent tattoo this show and so I wanted to take that in consideration Be like, you know, I still like this may just be a fling for me and I don't want to look like an idiot on tv I get you I get you yeah you probably already heard about how effective Ozempic and Weave Galerie are you've also probably

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The shows that you guys do are a little different than what I do. Ours is a little bit more of a docu-series. So it's hard to hide these things because for us, the cameras are there all the time for six months at a time. And you can't, there's just no bypassing it, right? I mean, they have keys to our houses and stuff. They just come in. They're actually become part of our families. And dude, that's crazy because everybody,

this is the thing I've seen about reality TV is, these people that watch it, it's almost as if they think that they live a perfect life and they're coming at this from this idealistic point of view. And everything you do is like their super scrutinous about like, oh, what an idiot, this and that. It's like, it reminds me of that meme of like the overweight dude sitting on the couch eating a bag of Cheetos watching the Olympics saying what an idiot.

That's what it's like. That's the best way to put it because I get critiqued all the time and it's just kind of like, well then what do you like about it? Then why watch the freaking show? You're going to sit there and nitpick every little thing. I'm a human being. They don't want heroes. They don't want villains.

They don't want you to sit there with my fingers crossed and just read the Bible and be like, this is not right. And then you know what they say? You're boring. So you can't win in reality TV. Whether you're crazy, people are going to say you're crazy. Whether you're boring, people are going to say you're boring. You can't win. You you gotta do it for you,

and you gotta enjoy yourself, and then yeah, of course make the right decisions, but I also do things that, a lot of people say to me, they're like, you know, we love you because you have no filter, and you're saying what other people are thinking, and you're doing what other people are thinking, and I'm also a grown man, I'm a human.

You know, I've gotten married, no things didn't work out, I'm going through divorce, I'm going through some mental health issues, I'm a human. I've gotten married, things didn't work out, I'm going through divorce, I'm going through some mental health issues. I'm being really open about it because me personally, I could have chose not to do that. I could have said, you know what, I'm not putting any of this on camera. But I didn't sign up for that.

I signed up to be on a television show to show you my whole life, whether it was good or whether it was bad. I'm gonna put it all out there. And a lot of people don't do that. They'll sugar coat a lot of things and they'll hide a lot of things. But in reality TV, especially the way we're old,

the truth always comes out. No matter how hard you try to hide it, the truth will always come out. And that's one of the things I remember when I first started reality TV, they were like, you can lie all you want, but it's gonna come out. So I felt like, yeah, I don't, you know,

I don't portray men very, very well on my show a lot of the times. But... Betray or represent? I guess represent. I don't represent, you know, but it's just the way I am. And like I said, we're all different in this world. If we were all the same, this would be a boring fucking world. Okay? So there's gonna be all types of guys.

And I'm hoping that, you know, people can see me and say, you know what? Okay, he made this decision or, man, I'm glad he talked about that because I'm struggling with that. Yeah. You know? So... But I also think, you're glad he talked about that because I'm struggling with that. Yeah. You know, so. But I think, you know, you're gonna go through like a whole gamut of like, Yeah. Experiences and some people are gonna relate to it, some people are not. The one thing that I think I struggle with the most is,

I am very critical of myself and I also, I'm very open to criticism and critique. You have to be on reality TV. From a fair, from like a fair audience though, this is the problem is like, There's no such thing as a fair audience. It's like there's no depth. Everything is taken at surface level. Yes. And or someone is really taking something you said

and if it triggers some past experience of theirs, they were with a guy who lied to them constantly or something and if they see something that smells a little off, they're like, aha, he's a lying piece of shit. And it's like, hold on a second, it's a lot more deep, my situation's a lot different than yours, I promise you. Right. I have no other examples of there being any sort of like, mal-play, you know, it's like, this, it just,

it feels, it's like, I'm really open to having a conversation and understanding people's perspectives and opinions, but I'm like, I'm struggling because there's too many people out there and I want to address everybody. Like, I get lots of comments and DMs, majority, overwhelming majority, I got very lucky, the overwhelming majority are very positive. However, there are quite a few negative ones,

they didn't like I said this or didn't like this. And I'm such an idiot that I am like, I wanna, let's engage. I think you're misunderstanding and miss it. But like the problem is the majority of them don't wanna understand, they just wanna be entertained. They just wanna be entertained, they just wanna be heard, they're keyboard warriors, they're in their parents' basement.

They've got five followers. I love dialogue. My life didn't turn out the way I wanted, so I'm going to watch reality shows and I'm going to dig at other people. That's what they do, they're keyboard warriors. But there are some people that do want to understand, and I think that the internet and social media is not a great conduit for that. This is a better conduit to be able to explain, like this scenario happened, understand why some people were rubbed the wrong way,

here's where I came from, yes I could have handled this better or that better. And that's the dialogue, and I love that, I'd love to do that, like let's talk about this. But unfortunately it's a little different story. One of the main reasons I started this podcast, sorry for many reasons, but one of the main reasons so I can bring people like you, yourself in there,

and also like myself and explain situations on reality TV because people don't understand a reality show is filmed months and months and months right and they have to cut it down yeah because well there's commercials there's just not enough time and for my situation we have cast members we have you know between you know five and eight cast members things and there's not only so much time you can only put so many clips of everybody else right so I could have could have a huge argument, a huge blow up, right? And it can go on for, you know, an hour. But people will be like, oh my God, Jax, you're an asshole because they only show the part

where I go, I'm at my top, where I'm at my breaking point, where I'm screaming and yelling and like, well, Jax, you're an asshole, you did this. Well, wait a minute. You blew up over this little thing. It's like, no. You didn't see how it started though. You didn't see how the fight started because there's not that much time And it's not that entertaining when I'm being reasonable for me and you know because I don't know it's got to be entertaining Nobody wants to hear me being calm. They want to see me going crazy, right?

So they only cut to the part where I'm nuts, and they don't see how it started and how it ended They just assume that I'm crazy. Yeah, that part is always been like a little For me context and nuance are boring and I they got to, it's gotta be cut. People want to be entertained. They work all day, right? They hate their jobs or they're miserable. Don't make me understand a difficult situation. Just give me the flavor.

Just come home from work, grab a bottle of wine, sit on the couch and just watch messy TV. You know what? I wouldn't even be like, I wouldn't have any issue with that. If they didn't then go and lash out these people and treat them like they weren't Just caricatures on a TV right there. This is entertainment This is not always truly representative of the people behind the screen

So don't then log online and start to bash them and call them like racist or whatever sort of things you want to project on You know what's gonna happen people are gonna be so scared so scared to go on reality You're gonna sit there and twiddle their thumbs and then you're gonna get more fake production is be like okay. We did this we need some more here, and then you give them a little more Yeah, it's like you almost get in trouble for giving what they want. You're afraid to say anything You know it is and I kind of you know the old me that existed ten years ago really doesn't exist much anymore I have to be very careful how who is who they were ten years ago. You're right You're right. Yeah, but I'm of person that doesn't have much of a filter and I need, as I get older, now that I'm a father,

I gotta filter things down. You have to consider, well that's the thing too that I've learned more about, and this is what I'm dealing with right now, is like, okay, now we're in the public light, we've been in the public light for a month, so now my words, actions, and anything that I portray publicly is a reflection of, like affects my wife, right?

My marriage and so this is a new thing we're navigating. It's something like a completely benign conversation on the street would have never carried weight before. Now it could. Now it could really like you know be detrimental if it was like like someone goes so you have to be very careful and the internet never goes away. No, right. Well, that's true, too. Everything is permanent. Everything lives. Yeah. So I'm fine with that.

So we open ourselves up to. But, you know, I just wish people were more understanding. Yeah, me too. All right. So tell me in the exact moment, meeting Taylor for the first time, what did you feel? I can't I really do. I can't even you won't even imagine you won't be able to. And I'm impossible.

I'm personally a way too superficial for way too superficial for a show like this because if a girl walked in and there was absolutely no physical attraction, no chemistry right off the bat, I'd be gone. But that's just me. Yeah. Well, I think that the whole love is blind premise is not what it sounds like on face value. What it sounds like is it doesn't matter what they look like. I always said in interviews and maybe they just chose not to show this, but I always said it does matter. I know it matters. I don't care what anybody says. You have to have an initial attraction. There has to be some sort of like body

chemistry is not something you control. Right. You liking someone attractive physically is a chemical reaction. You don't control this. Right. However, what I think the love is blind concept does is it takes two people that probably wouldn't have gotten past that initial barrier and it brings them together and gets past all the superficial bullshit and you get to form a relationship before you start to make judgements

about their appearance and whatnot. I wasn't Taylor's type, she made it very clear on the show and shortly after that in the same breath she said, "'But I find him to be like the sexiest man alive now. So almost you almost by the time you meet them you can almost put that even though a physical attraction is usually number one you can always put that as number two or three because you know what you had a good meeting with them everything was going well okay maybe I can look past the the superficial looks for a second because we could probably work on that or whatever um but yeah yeah, I guess that's kind of the point of all this, to see if people can really get

past the superficialness. Yeah. And if they may not be perfectly your type, is that relationship strong enough? Is that bond, that mental-emotional bond strong enough to get past some of these other things that would have been challenges in the real world physically? And that's ultimately, I think, what it is. It gets you over that curve a little bit, but ultimately, if you're just not attracted to them dead flat and whether they're not your type is different

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Likewise, dude. I appreciate that, thank you. So let's talk about for a second because I know your recent quote unquote glow up has gone absolutely viral. Yeah. Okay. There's been a ton of speculation out there for fans wondering is this your wife's doing? I'm and I think you know I think the fans are calling it that the Taylor effect is that yeah Yeah, it's like it's a it's a Taylor Swift reference. I think so you know let me let me hear from you

You know what inspired the long hair, the sharper fashion? Give it to the girls. They wanna know, can they change their man or whatever? What happened here? Yeah, Taylor, if she was sitting next to me, she'd be like, no, no, this is all him. So, I'm really lucky to have her because she does not say a word to me about my fashion.

She hardly even gives me advice if I ask her. Everything I bring to her, she's like, that looks great, sweetheart. She doesn't care. I'm sure she appreciates that I'd like take more appreciation for my appearance now But she she wouldn't have told me otherwise I mean, it's it's been it's been awesome to have Taylor in my corner while I like Start to experiment more with my aesthetic. I didn't before because I was a fairy I'm a physicist spear fisherman family guy. Like I just I lived in that circle

I never went out and so it didn't really matter what I family guy. I lived in that circle, I never went out. And so it didn't really matter what I looked like. I always had appreciation for textiles. I went through a denim head phase. I'm very technical, and so I appreciate technical textiles. Or I could talk your ear off about corduroy, shishika fabric, denim, whatever you'd like for an hour here. But that was it.

But I never put it together into an aesthetic. No, it doesn't matter. And you live in Virginia. It takes time. And exactly, I live in a small town. I'm not out in together into an aesthetic. It doesn't matter. And you're living in Virginia. It takes time. And exactly. I live in a small town. I don't, I'm not out in clubs. But now I'm with this extremely fashionable person who's got a wonderful aesthetic that

like women aspire to. And I'm like, all right, I got to level up here, you know, because I do know what it feels like to dress up and your partner's like dressed down and you're like, man, you know, you have to match there. So she's definitely not explicitly, but she's inspired me indirectly to match her energy when it comes to like fashion and aesthetic. Especially now that you're doing these touring and you're on a television show.

It's fun. It is fun. It's fun to dress up. It's like, it's just this extra thing, you know? It's a whole nother thing. Like you take care of yourself. You learn a little bit more about a skin routine. Like there's just these all kinds of things. We did so many skin routine dates.

Going on these interviews, looking good. You know, you got to be careful how many beers you drink the night before. I mean, things like that. No, I've always been into health and all that stuff. So it's just a natural transition. Like, all right, let's care about the aesthetic a little bit more. But I get you. So another viral moment happened while you and Taylor were in the pods

together talking, something that became quite sensitive amongst the fan base. You got a lot of hate for this. When you had asked Taylor what her ethnicity was, and she refused to tell you, you got very upset and said she was calculated. Yeah. Yeah, again, you got a ton of heat, and I don't wanna bring this up,

but you were even called the R-word, we'll leave it at that. Oh yeah. And just tell me at that. Oh, yeah. And just tell me your thoughts on that. And I want you to have the chance to let people hear. Again, this is why I do podcasts. No, I appreciate it. I want people to hear directly from you on what that meant and why you did that.

Now, just talking to you alone, I can tell that's not where you were. You're doing your due diligence and you're finding out, okay, what's the steps here? You're asking all the right questions. And ethnicity, it does play a huge role, because there's religion and it's something that you get into. There's more to it, yeah. And I am frustrated with how that came out

and how that went, I mean, I still get it to this day, I get hate from this. So it's extremely frustrating. I wanted to talk about the reunion, but it was kind of just like, okay, let's leave it positive, whatever, but I was really dying to talk about it, to be honest. My, the whole thing, first of all, whatever, but I was really dying to talk about it, to be honest.

The whole thing, first of all, I completely understand where people are coming from. And that's what hurt me the most was I watched it back and I see how people perceived it that way. I totally get it. And some people are like, you're not like that. And Taylor was like, you didn't even say that in response to that, which I mean, yeah, it was a little choppy, but we'll just leave it at that. Taylor and I talked about ethnicity days before.

This ethnicity date was, I think, day seven, way down the line. We had already committed to each other. We talked about ethnicity before and said, we're not going to talk about how we look at all. It was all done. The problem is you start to get into this situation where, and I use the word, Taylor, if you watch her now, she's very careful and thoughtful, and she chooses her words very carefully,

and she is like very, like, she considers the word that comes out of her mouth, and it's slow, and she also wasn't really opening up early on, and other women are like, throwing themselves at you and opening up, telling you, Deep start of secrets day one Right and Taylor was not right. She's very different than all the other girls and I loved that about her Also at the same time you're getting more and more and like you're actually falling in love with this person

You're becoming extremely vulnerable Everything feels scripted because we've got these magic tattoos like we picked the same song in the pods You picked like five songs you picked the same one like it's there was a lot of other little things I wrote down like so many different, like weird serendipitous things that you start to just become extremely vulnerable at this person and you're like, is this scripted, like what's, who is that over there? What's going on? You know?

And so I told, I said before to her that I need her to open up more. She feels guarded and she even asked me not to use that word. And she mentioned this in an interview. And so by day seven, when she had this, she, like, she said the, um, we're talking about her parents and she mentioned, well an interview. And so by day seven when she had this, she said we're talking about her parents and she mentioned, well I'm not going to tell you my mom's name. And later on I now understand why she didn't want to reveal her ethnicity beyond just the looks thing. Because even your ethnicity, it narrows it down but it doesn't tell you how you look. But I understood where she was coming from afterwards. But at first I'm very like,

why are you so careful here? It was frustration that came out. And I think like an hour later, I said the calculated comment, because we moved off of it, and then we returned to it, because she was like, I feel something in you, and we talked about it.

I was like, I'm worried. I don't know what to expect. Who is this person? And it's a very strange feeling. It's really hard to replicate what everyone's going through individually in those pods I Can't even imagine like I I watch it's crazy

I just can't even imagine like the emotions and and it's I'm kind of going off and do a little thing because I'm really Big into mental health and I've taken a big big toll this year on my mental health and I've gotten some help I don't like that. So I mean, what did you do during the season? Like I said, I don't know your mental health background, but what did you do during this season to protect your mental health? Because I'm sure that it was taking a little bit of a toll. I think it would take a toll for anybody,

not just you personally, but how did you protect your mental health? Yeah, because I'm sure, you know, going through that, it wasn't easy for you, because you go to these pods, and then you come back and you talk to these other guys, and you're getting different, you know, different scenarios from them. And did you have to like other guys and you're getting different, you know, yeah scenarios from them and

Did you have to like check yourself at night and be like, okay Because I'm sure your brain was just going like this You're you're locked into this person you and me so Taylor and I were the only ones that are not like so Taylor And I stayed locked in throughout the whole thing as in like we'd get up in the morning Yeah, and typically I got up before I would start work when she got up I'd make her coffee and we would just like sync for like 20 minutes. And how are you feeling today?

Like what's going on throughout your day? And then we'd move into the rest of our day. I'd go to the gym every day at like one o'clock and then I'd get off work at like 5.30 or so. And we would immediately start filming. We'd film till 10 o'clock at night or whatever. And then Taylor and I would sync for like another hour to two hours every night before bed. And that Taylor and I would sink for like another hour to two hours

every night before bed. And that was my routine every single day throughout this entire experiment, except for the weekends, obviously like working less, but see it's structure, structure, structure, time, bidding structure and the gym and staying in, in sync with my person. I feel for the people that didn't have someone like Taylor where their partner in them are not in sync. I couldn't imagine how much more frustrating

this whole experiment would have been if Taylor and I weren't so connected throughout the entire day. And there was guys like that going through that. Yeah, 100%, you could see it and feel it, and they would go out, they went out with their friends and stuff to get a reprieve, and I didn't need that, I felt connected to Taylor, and that's all I cared about.

I gotta figure out if I'm gonna say yes or no in three weeks here, two weeks, one week. I needed to stay like that. I needed to feel good about this person on a really deep level. And so that's all that I cared about. Work, workout, structure. That's for me. I have to have it. If I don't have structure in my life, I'm off the rails. Like I go as far as like getting up in the morning, making my bed, having my cup of coffee, like checking my emails. If I derail up in the morning making my bed having my cup of coffee Yeah, like I'll be my emails if I if I derail even just missing me. It feels weird. You're all if you're like I'm off for the whole day. Yeah, like there's certain guys that need that structure and like I said once we're off

Yeah, I think it's maybe just because of just how we grew up and how our structure was and you know Just just you know my way of life. I just thrive on structure When reality hits is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Most of you listening right now are probably multitasking. Yep, while you're listening to us talk, you're probably also driving, cleaning, exercising, or maybe even grocery shopping. But if you're not in some kind of moving vehicle, there's something else you can be doing right now. Getting an auto quote from Progressive Insurance. It's easy and you can save money by doing it right from your phone.

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Potential savings will vary. Discounts not available in all states and situations. When you saw these other guys, did you see them? Did some of these guys break down? Did they ever get emotional? Did it ever get to them? Because a lot of these guys I've watched, you seem like these are manly guys, like guys that you can't be broken. But then when they go through something like this, they let their guard down. And sometimes they forget that the camera's there.

And do you see like, do you have to sit them aside and be like, you know, this is just a game. This is just a game. This is just a... Dude, I freaking broke down like day three, I think, because I hadn't talked about my emotions and feelings and what I want and what I love. This is a huge deal. I was like, what is going on, man? Men don't talk about their emotions because we weren't brought up that way.

We are not. We're supposed to carry everything on our back and deal with the world. And I think between the last, like I said, five to eight years, it's been accepted now that men need to talk about this stuff. So that's great that you did that Yeah, it's it was we get caught talking about like They're putting some in the water here man, like just estrogen or something like we're freaking out like Tyler You saw he cried a lot, but he wasn't the only one They just grabbed him on camera didn't a lot like a lot of the guys were like what's happening? You know

And I know myself like I hadn't been on I went on camera, did that a lot, like a lot of the guys were like, what's happening, you know, and I know myself, like I hadn't been on, I went on more dates on that first day than I did in the past six and a half years. And I think that's probably a lot to do with it because you guys are getting just hammered by girls. You know, mentally, physically, not physically, mentally and emotionally, you know, I mean you're getting drilled here with questions

that usually take months to get, find out. You're getting all these questions right at once and then you're like, wait a minute, am I a good person? Am I a bad person? You start questioning things. That's where my head went wrong. It's questions about family, like my family and stuff. It's very important to me and there's deep stuff in my family that I don't talk about

with people and I didn't want to talk about it on camera. And if you did, it would be six months down the line, eight months down the line. I keep pushing it out. I'd be like, oh, I don't want to talk about it. You know what I mean? We don't have to talk about that day one. No, no, no, no. Hell no. Not day one, two, three, no, no. Hell no. Not, yeah.

Not day one, two, three, four, five. Yeah. I saw, I can, I mean, yeah. It was rough. But no, I mean, it's, it's good though, too. Like I did feel afterwards, I'm like, holy shit, I'm going to feel a lot better. But it's like working out, you know, when you're there, it sucks. But when you leave the gym, you're like, man, I feel great.

Okay. I feel good. Yeah. And then do you like, you went back and did you go back in your head and be like, okay, did I answer that right? Did you go, did you kind of recalculate like head and be like, okay? Did I answer that right? Did you go? Did you kind of recalculate like I do that right to say that right this? Do you forget that you were on TV sometimes did you ever have that 100%? Yeah. Yeah by by the third day You don't even notice the cameras in your face. Yeah, you know what that feeling was like

Oh, yeah, I don't even know after 12 years We've been out of the the camera space for a long time not coming back to it like now I'm like a little still nervous, but you know, you start to snap back into it. I'm going to start talking, it's fine. And you forget about it, but sometimes, like after the day's done rapping, I'll go back in my head, I'm like, did I say this, did I mean to say that?

How is that going to be received on TV? Well, yeah, and the thing is like, when you're in the pods, you're working towards an end. Like you have to get to the end of this and you're trying to make a decision. Like something important is happening It's not just like life goes on and like, you know, whatever They're not just filming my life and like like things happen. We're trying to get to an end goal somewhere

so for you, you know, it's At the end of the day when you go home, you just filmed for 14 16 hours Whatever it was we stayed for night dating you lay down the hotel room it's the first moment you've had to yourself, and you're laying in bed, and you're just like, just mind racing for hours. I slept two, three, four hours some nights. It was, and then you go in the next day, and people are like, why'd you say this?

Why'd you say calculated? Why'd you look stressed out when she wouldn't tell you your mom's last name? It's like, you're not sleeping. I said I've only dated white girls. My first girlfriend was Latina. It's like, you don't remember what's going on. You're just, you I said I've only dated white girls. My first girlfriend was Latina. It's like you don't remember what's going on. You're getting through it.

Taylor kept saying too, she's like, once I get some sleep, it's over for these hoes. She was sleep deprived as well and we made a conscious decision one night, we're not staying for night dating. And it's a risk because you don't know if, you know, you go home and the girl you're really hoping to fall in love with, she stays for night dating and she dates this other guy, they get more time.

And it's later and you're a little bit more vulnerable and maybe you've been drinking. And so like, you decide to stay and everyone's really like, just like pushing themselves. The producers don't force you to do any of this stuff, but you push yourself because you're worried about, I want to connect with this person. It's ultimately, yeah, you just don't sleep and you know what it's like when you don't sleep. You're a much lesser version of yourself. this person. And so ultimately, yeah, you just don't sleep and you know what it's like when you don't sleep. You're a much lesser version of yourself. I've had multiple episodes, more times than not where I'm stressing about what I said.

Because not only did I do these things, I'm going to have to live it again when it airs. So now it's in the back of my head. I probably had the worst season of my entire life of filming reality TV this year. Everything's going on with my mental health. It's got to be tough. Everything that's going on with my mental health. It's gotta be tough. And it's tough. And I'm like, you know, we're four months away. We're three months away.

We're two months away. And it's just like, oh, I'm just getting ruined. I haven't seen any of it, but like I can tell. I can tell from your energy, like, this shit's weighing on you a little bit. It gets a lot. And like I said, I'm an open book and I kind of don't really have a filter and I don't really, and I think that's kind of why I've been doing this for so long, because you kind of just, you know, you get what you see. You see what you get with me. It's just yeah, it can get you in trouble

But at the same time I feel like I'm hoping that I I can help somebody out there So so okay, this is a bit kind of a two-part questionnaire So even though you and Taylor were definitely amongst one of the more solid couples through the season You still have some difficult moments So while you're both walking up to the Gatsby party, it is discovered that you received a DM from your ex. Okay, this is gonna be tough, sorry. And Taylor is rightfully so, not happy. I think any girl would probably lose it

and found out an ex message, especially so close to the wedding and under the crazy circumstances. Do you want me to stop or do you want me to keep going? No, yeah, so Taylor, first of all, is a text message. And we went through every day of this experience, sharing everything. And this was a moment, the first moment where I didn't, I wasn't extremely upfront with her,

and I didn't bring this to her right away. So I got this text message early in the morning. This ex didn't know I was in this relationship. Nobody knew I went on the show, obviously. So she doesn't know the context. Okay, so that's... Okay, people need to know that. Nobody knew you were there and she got this message. And it was completely benign. It was like a video of her niece, right? But her niece wanted to be an astronaut since she was a kid, so it's kind of something related to. So she just sent me a video of the niece. It was Halloween and was like, you're welcome.

And so, like, I didn't think it was a big deal at all because I'm a dummy and it's been six years in a relationship and I don't I don't tell and I haven't talked about this scenario where an ex reaches out so I my first mistake and the biggest mistake was not bringing to her right away and being like look I might take my ex texted me like it's been I like I'm gonna tell you and work through that how long did you wait until you told her that that night so you know as I just told you my days days were like John in the morning in the morning and I wake up before her I and it's the same day. Well in this experiment a day feels like a week a month so I'm with you, but I it's I

Still should have I definitely shouldn't have brought it to her like it feels that night. We didn't film right? Maybe we let's talk about it at night But we had a whole party a cast reunion party, right? We're flying to San Diego the next day to see her parents, like to ask her father if I can marry her. Like this is huge. And to any little, like you have to trust your partner and lean into them so much in this experiment that any perceived like dishonesty or omission will feel like you're, the whole

world is collapsing. You know, you're walking this tightrope to the aisle, and you have to stay on there solid. I think, this is a, I don't have a leg to stand on any of this, but I'm just looking from the outsider. I think the critical mistake that you made is you downplayed the text. I think like most guys would probably do.

Well, it was an accident, so people are like, he lied, he lied to her, and it's like, Yeah, because you always told Taylor that you quote unquote liked it. She would have never married me if she thought I'd lied to her. didn't lie to her I accident so I feel like we people didn't believe me but that's fine whatever I don't give a shit Taylor does it's all good but like I when I brought it up to her later it was way too casual and I was like oh by the

way because actually we were sitting there waiting to go into the party and I took a picture of her hands holding onto a drink and I was like oh look soft launched Instagram put it on my story and I was like and that's when it clicked I was like's right, babe. I forgot to tell you about this thing to happen this morning Because I was like, yeah We'll put you know kind of finally soft launching people will now know that I'm with another woman and that's what clicked for me And so I told her my ex reached out and texted me and I thought I really I didn't think anything of it because I'm a Total idiot and she was like all of a sudden I saw her reacting. I think you were also I'm kind of playing devil's advocate here a little bit, but I

think- No, beat me up. I don't care. This is- No, I think it's the only issue that I have, and again, I've done this before. And I think because you had so much going on, I think again, your head is going all over the place. Why lie when you know you're being filmed?

That's- Well, and I've never lied. You can ask Taylor sitting right next to me now, have I ever lied to her even since that day? No. Right. But I didn't lie to her that day either. I truly did not remember whether I responded or not because it was so stupid.

Yeah, I just said, it was like, this is funny, or something like that, right? And that was it. And then we move on. And then that night, when we talked about it, she was like, why didn't you shut it down? And I was like, shut it down. Oh, so we talked about it. I'm like, yes. Oh, let it down? And I was like, shut it down. Oh, so we talked about it.

Like, yes. Oh, that's what let's close the door. Yes. This makes total sense. It's easy. Right. So I did in that moment. And that's where they called on camera.

It was like, I said that I responded and said I'm in a relationship, blah, blah. I texted that after I brought it up to her while we're waiting to go in. And so we're going in and Taylor at this point had only thought that I just liked the message and didn't like say something back. Right. And so, and I didn't know that I didn't tell her this. And so when I'm rehashing this argument to Tyler and Ashley, it comes out and that's when she's like, wait, I thought you said you just liked it.

And I was like, did I? Is that what I said? Like I don't, I couldn't remember what I even told her. Did, I mean, how did you get past it? Like how did? Oh, it was easy. Like we went back, I mean, I showed her my phone. Like here's what happened.

I don't, I have nothing to hide. And that's what I showed in the preview. I was like, I'm not hiding anything Here's my phone. Here's what I said. Here's the relationship Like this is nothing and we move past it the next day It was clearly wasn't anything but in that moment when there's so much going on Again, you feel like your world is crashing that any sort of scratch on the surface can can spiral into you know, something that's this I mean if I was lying if I was admitting, I could have totally understood her saying, let's not go forward.

Okay. I just got to... We're wrapping up here, but I just got to... I discussed for a second. I mean, you're a freaking physicist. You may be probably one of the smartest people I've ever sat next to because I'm not going to lie to you right now. We do have any physicists on Vanderpump rules.

You want to know what a quantum computer is? I'm not gonna try to spoke a different language Yeah, my buddy Jason's a lawyer, but that's as much as We got so I mean that's that's pretty impressive So I got some questions to ask you really quick and then we'll wrap this up. Yeah, it's cool So there's like it's fun a ton of fan questions that were coming through We don't have much time left. so I'll give you a few. So you just use short answers real quick.

Are you still planning to move to San Diego? So we're taking our first step to DC, and we're going to see where it takes us from there. We talked about it. We may very much end up in San Diego, but we never gave a timeline for that. And spending a ton of time in San Diego, we were like, it's probably too big of a jump right now. Let's go to DC.

Okay. How are you navigating being in such a public relationship? I'm still learning. So if they have tips sent in my way, we're still figuring it out. I think everybody's do you honestly not know the difference between Liking and answering attacks. I think we got How do you really feel about Nick was he just in it for the fame? I don't know what inspired Nick to go on the show. Okay. I don't know. And maybe that looks like it's been called a question

and I can't speak for that. However, every time I spoke with him, once he was in the experiment, off camera, he's not afraid of saying whatever he wants to say off camera. He was very genuine and told me he loved her and told me he was into it and wanted to marry her. And I have nothing else to go off of but to believe him. and then watching back the episodes. I kind of feel the same way so

Okay, how would you sum up your experience on love is blind in three words? That's a tough one, huh? Can I ask you would you do this again? Just this is my question no hell no no I mean, I wouldn't want to like I found my person right I for. If you didn't find your person, would you do it again? No, no, no. There's no way. There was a one in a billion chance that someone like Taylor was on the other side of that wall.

Yeah. And I lucked out. Well man, hey listen, I appreciate you so much for being here, man. This is a really, really cool experience. Thanks for having me on, man. I appreciate it. Like I said, I could never do this, man.

And I give you props for doing it. Just emotionally and mentally, I just don't think I can do it, you know I give you props for doing it just emotionally and mentally I just don't think I can do it You know So if you want to check out Garrett and give his glow up and of course keep up to date with him and his lovely wife Taylor be sure to follow him on Instagram at Garrett dot J-o-s-e-m-a-n-s and all the episodes are out on Netflix if you want to binge them. Thanks for having me on man I appreciate it appreciate you owe me up to your audience and giving me a chance to talk.

No problem, man. Well, thanks so much for being here. Good luck on the rest of your tour. And that's it for When Reality Hits. See you guys next week. Thanks, man. Thanks, man. See you.

See you. See you guys next week.