When Reality Hits with Jax and Brittany - How To Outplay The Player with Jax Taylor

Episode Date: December 27, 2024

How do you outplay the player? Jax is going to tell you because he really does know! He shares the “dos & don’ts,” and the big red flags to look out for including text responses, social media posts, and committing to making plans! Thank you for supporting our sponsors! Nutrafol: Go to https://nutrafol.com and use promo code REALITYHITS to get $10 off your first month’s subscription plus FREE shipping. GDefy: Visit http://gdefy.com and use code REALITYHITS for 50% off your entire order Progressive: Quote your car insurance at https://Progressive.com to join the over 28 million drivers who trust Progressive. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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please contact Connix Ontario at 1866-531-2600 to speak to an advisor free of charge. BetMGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with Eye Gaming Ontario. Hello everybody. Welcome to another episode of In The Mind of a Man with Jacks Taylor. So I hope everybody had an amazing Christmas. I hope the stress is over. And now we are on the way to New Year's, New Year's Eve, and all the fun that's going to entail. So I've dedicated today's episode to address actually the number one question I've been getting. And that's basically how to outplay the player. and how to get the upper hand from a guy you just started dating or finding yourself in that word again that we've always been using, situation ship that seems to be playing games.

Now, we all know I've been down this road many, many times over the years. If you've been watching Banner Pump Rules, yeah, I think I'm the definition of this guy. So I'm going to give you a couple pointers on what I think, again, this is just my opinion. take it with a grain of salt. This is something kind of fun to listen to while you're at work or, you know, on your way to work. So let me know what you think. And we'll just going to start getting into it here. So I'm going to give you my opinion.

And, you know, like I always say, again, I can't stress enough. It is just my opinion. I'm definitely no relationship expert or guru. That's definitely, definitely for sure. So just a guy who's had his fair share of dating experiences. And I've been that guy. I've been that guy. and I'm hoping that I can, you know, help some of you ladies out.

And so, you know, let me know if you guys have any opinions. You know, if you want to listen and take some of these suggestions, that's cool. Or you can just laugh and, you know, have a good day. So I think it's important that we kind of backtrack to the beginning of when a relationship, you know, starts. Or, again, the word situation, whatever you want to call it, whatever these kids are calling it these days. So, you know, the first date, right? You know, the first, I guess, interactions. I guess I think the number one most, I think the important thing to take a step back and look at who the guy is, right?

Kind of read the room, if you will. Is the guy newly out of a relationship? Like, you know, is he recently divorced? Obviously, that's the big one. Has he never been in a serious relationship before? That's a huge one. How old is he? Does he live alone or with a bunch of other single guys?

That's another big one. What's his daily routine like? What's another one? Does he have his shit together? That's another big one. Is he someone you think you're ready to settle down with? Right off the bat, you know, what are his intentions? I mean, these are just a few of the things that I kind of jotted down and, you know, thought, you know,

these are kind of good things to have. in the back of your head when you get out there and you start in the dating world. So let me just say this. If you're hoping for a situation to turn into something more serious, then it's all about setting up, I guess, the foundation, the boundaries, you know, from the early get-go, right? Tell the guy right off the bat, are you looking for just a hookup? Now you save yourself so much time, in my opinion, when you do this, right?

Because, well, I mean, obviously a lot of girls aren't looking for that. A lot of guys are. But if you can get that out of the way in the beginning, you're saving yourself so much time. And if that's the place you're in with your life, you know, maybe make something, you know, more concrete. Say, listen, this is just not for me.

This is not what I want. And like I said, you can save yourself a lot of time. So, but this also at the same time may push him away, but you know what? That's okay because that's, now you're getting that out of the way. And this is not the guy you want, right? So you may as well at the beginning and you can cut stuff, you can cut things off.

a lot sooner, I think, than later, which, again, it's all whatever you want. So you deserve what you want. And if he's not able to give you what you want, then it's better to move on, right? I'm not saying that girls aren't just want hookups too. I'm saying, like, if you're looking for a relationship, I think it's important to get these things out of the way sooner than later. Obviously, you don't want to bring this stuff up date number one or date number two because you're going to scare the guy off or he's going to be like, what am I getting into?

So I'm about to, you know, get you into Jacks Taylor, okay? My Holy Grail of top three red flags that I suggest a guy is a player. Okay, again, I think I have a lot of credibility when it comes to being a player, a D-bag, if you want to call it, whatever. And it's not looking for a commitment with you, basically just looking up for that hookup, you know? So here we go. Let me know what you guys think at the end of this. I'm really, you know, excited to hear what you have to say. But here's mine.

Okay, here we go. He can't commit to solid dates or plans with you. This is a big one. If the guy you're talking with seems to say all the right things, like, I can't wait to see you. I want us to do this and that. But his actions don't follow through. He doesn't make, you know, concrete dates. He's only asking you to come over last minute or late at night.

God knows I've done this many, many times. That itself really kind of tells you everything about the guy, I think. You know, he wants you on his terms and isn't really looking for anything but random fun. Now, again, if this is what you're looking for, obviously disregard that because girls are kind of just looking for a hookup too. You know, they're kind of no different than men. They have their needs as well. So if that doesn't apply to you, disregard that. But for the most part, if you're looking for something serious, those are some red flags.

Number two, he doesn't text or call you consistently. Conversations are surface level. We've talked about this before, actually many, many times, I think. I think when a guy is into you, he is consistent, right? You're the one that's on top of his mind, and you definitely can feel that. You know, you won't question it for sure, whether, you know, I guess if he's busy with work or family, or basically whatever it is that he's doing. He's texting you, right?

He's checking in with you. He's asking the questions about yourself. He's making plans with you. This kind of shows that, okay, this guy is interested in me. You know, he wants to get to know you. Any guy that doesn't call you or text you for an entire day or more and then comes back and says, you know what, I've been busy. I fell asleep.

That's kind of simple. I mean, I don't think he's your priority, although some guys just do fall asleep. But for the most part, he really isn't that serious. I think, again, we've used this word before. You're part of the roster. He's looking for other options. Or maybe, you know, maybe you're just not taking the priority, you know. He wants to have his fun when he's in the mood.

And that's really about it. Again, you're on that roster, which you need to stay clear in the beginning. I don't think right in the beginning. I think maybe within the first week or two, I think you should definitely say, hey, listen, maybe not use the word roster, but I would say, hey, am I the only one you're talking to? You just want to make it clear. I think there's a lot of respect there.

I think men would have a lot of respect for you if you made it very clear right off the get-go. Because as a guy, if me, if a woman said that to me, I would be like, okay, she's not messing around. She's serious. She seems like she's very smart. She's independent. She's not here to fuck around. Let's be honest.

So you kind of should look at that as a guy to be like, if I was a guy, and if I heard girl saying that. I'd be like, okay, she seems serious. I can't really mess around here. She's pretty intelligent. That's what I would think. Okay, number three, he keeps you a secret. Now, again, this is a big one. I've done this many times. Again, we're going to going over a lot of things that I've done over the years, which are just terrible, terrible things to do. But, you know, any guy that has serious intentions about a woman, right? If they want to have something more serious with you, you know, they will be proud to show you off to his friends and family. You'll be around his buddies, his social circle, his work friends, and he will talk about you to people.

I think a guy that is keeping you on the quote unquote down low, I'm sure he has his reasons for this. I'm sure he does. And he will give you loads of explanations. And some probably will be believable, you know, but to be honest with you, they're not. You know, it doesn't really matter. It's a big red flag. And, you know, he's not looking for that serious commitment. Because honestly, if you're important to him, why isn't he bringing you around you around his circle?

He should be proud of you. Now, on the flip of that, a lot of guys don't do it because maybe in the past, they brought girls around too soon. And now your buddies are like, okay, this is just another girl. I think personally, you should wait a little bit just because if your friends are serious, you know, you respect your friend's decisions and their thoughts, you should, you know, wait. at least a couple weeks and then kind of prep your friends, say, hey, listen, I'm thinking about bringing this girl around. What do you guys think? Do you guys care? And most of the time, your friends will be honest with you. So you need to ask yourself exactly what you want from that situation. You know, you want someone to have fun. You can accept a situation for basically what

it is, you know, obviously some great nights here and there. You may not hear from the guy regularly and, you know, then cool. He's out. Own that, right? Okay, so the point of this whole podcast is how do I play the player? I guess we should probably give this guy a nickname because we keep saying the word player, right? We can call this guy, John. We all know this guy's name is Jacks. He randomly texted you like out of the blue,

you know, what you doing, right? There's nothing more attractive than making yourself seem busy or unbothered. Now, this is so true because I feel I like the chase. When a girl doesn't answer, like I'm really intrigued. Like I, you know, I'm anxious to keep looking at my phone. Did she answer? You know, just, I don't know.

There's a little bit of chase there. There's a little bit of like, okay, this has me going. If she responds right away, I'm kind of like, eh, I kind of, it loses its luster, if that makes any sense. So don't answer right away. You know, give it an hour. Nothing play games, but just give it a decent amount of time, you know? Never let, quote unquote, John think you've been waiting around for his next text.

And I'm telling you. that is such a redfly when a girl responds just like that that means she kind of has nothing going on she's kind of waiting for you you know which again i don't like to play games but this is more of a strategy and again you're trying to outplay the player um i mean even if you're curled up in your bed alone and bored as hell and just waiting keep your response back to him very very vague um you know just out with some friends or it's a busy day or you know getting my hair done keep john wondering what you're doing. Keep them wondering. Because I'm telling you, as a guy who's been there, the player, the debag, whatever you want to call me

from over the years, you're driving him crazy. You're driving him crazy, but in a good crazy. Don't even ask him what he's up to. Less is 100% more when you guys come to this. I'm telling you,

the one word answers, the two word answers drives men crazy. Always think less is more with a player. And this is so true. Definitely in the beginning. I mean, you already know that he's not waiting, you know, he's not waiting for anything more than just a fun time in that moment.

So you have the upper hand here, right? Girls always have the upper hand, in my opinion. It's in your control, how you want to respond back, how you want to play it. Like, girls, I can't stress you enough. It's your game. You are the quarterback. But post some fun stories on your social media to show him that you're living your life, right? Not really thinking about him.

You know, yes, yes, I know. I know this is game playing. I know we've talked about this before, game playing is awful. This is definitely some toxic advice, but the player or the man or whatever you want to call your significant other is toxic. So we're just trying to meet him at his game. Okay, so when John doesn't call all day and keeps the conversation surface level, that's fine.

That's totally fine. He's not interested in getting to know you. Then you shouldn't be interested in learning more about him, right? If he can't respect you, then you shouldn't respect him, right? Don't divulge anything to him about your life. It's unnecessary. It's personally, I don't think you should do any of that until you have your first date, your family, your work, your friends, any of that.

Keep it extremely surfaced with him because he's keeping it extremely surfaced with you, right? Play the game, which even though I said don't play the game before, if you're going to play the game with a player, you got to play right with him. You know, don't tell him about your upcoming schedule. and plans. He doesn't need to know that. And frankly, he hasn't even earned it. The less interested you show, the more a player will wonder how this girl is not giving a shit about me. I've gone through so many incidents like this. And I'm like, I thought she cared about me. I thought she wanted to hang out. But she's definitely giving me, you know, the runaround. Right?

she's it's it's it's you're basically you're playing him at his own game and there's nothing more that drives a man crazy than this i'm telling you guys take it from somebody like me it drives me absolutely nuts less is definitely more you know his easy my ego we'll say with me my ego is definitely not used to that right one thing all players have in common is that they have huge huge egos i still definitely have one and not by if you're not i guess the word would probably be If you're not appeasing to that ego, you will have that guy spiraling out of control. And then again, the game or the ball is in your court. So now that you're not only giving the player just a little bit, you'll see that he will

begin to text you more. And this is true. I've done it. I'll text you more. And now I've become the female in the situation. Now I've turned in the person that you don't want to be because I'm not getting what I need. and as men were so used to playing these games, we don't know how to do the reverse, right?

So he's going to give me more attention, not because he's suddenly more into you, but because he wants the attention from you. He wants the control back. Again, I can't stress this enough. Men want the control. I still want the control. It's just something that's embedded in our brains.

So you continue to live your life kind of like unbothered, right? Giving him the bare minimum. my advice again take it with a grain of salt is it to be completely cold or rude just give him enough to you know keep him wanting a little bit more so the next time he asked you to hang out since you turned him down the last time by probably saying you were too busy right except his plan you make the decision where you want to go there's nothing sexier than when a girl says jacks or let's go here we should meet here and i think i really respect a woman who makes a day date as opposed to an evening date Because I think when I hear in my head, when I hear a night date, I know there's going to be something extra on the end. Where if you hear as a lunch date, you're like, all right, I'm going to have to put some work into this because she's got, she's a smart girl. She knows what she wants. I just, I think a day date is just more suitable, especially for the first two to three dates. You know, you make the decision where to go.

Go get coffee. You know, maybe go for a walk in the park. Go to the zoo. The zoo is always fun. Believe it or not, the zoo, I know it's random, but the zoo is such a great place to go on a first three dates. There's so much talking you can do. You're looking at animals. The conversation can really go anywhere. So take that control and tell them to meet you out, you know, at one of these places, okay? So there's no point in trying to make an actual romantic dinner, in my opinion, our dinner date at this point because you know it's really, it's not there, or at least not yet, right? I think women need to build up to that. I really, really do.

And a player really isn't someone that you want as a romantic partner anyway. Let's be honest. A player is basically a booty call. Let's be honest. And you can do a lot of research on players. You can find out who his friends are. Obviously, social media is the big one. Check out his page.

You know, see what he's doing. See how he is with his friends. See how he is with his family. See what kind of things he's into. You can really read people before you even go on the first date anymore with social media. So once he comes to you to meet casually, you know, out with friends, the next step is crucial. Very, very crucial.

Do not beeline towards him and throw your arms around him. You know, the second you see him, come to him, hug him, do all that stuff. Continue doing the things that you do with your friends, laughing, hanging out. Pretend isn't, he's not even there. God, that drives me absolutely nuts, right? Because you have this girl out, and it looks like she's not showing interest, but she really is. You know, let him come find you. And once he does, greet him with a huge.

huge smile, okay? Be totally friendly. Don't take him, I mean, don't make them your main focus, in my opinion, you know, of the whole night. You want to kind of be like walking around, talking to people, even talking to other guys. You know, players expect you to be worshipped by them. You know, they want you to be all around them, kind of not leaving you alone. And it also kind of plays against you because if you're that needy, he's going to be like, oh my God, this girl's all over me, she won't leave me alone. This is what it's going to be like all the time. So play a little hard to get, even on the date, you know? Like I said, maybe have a conversation with another male, not too flirty, but just like

have another conversation with other people, males, females, whatever, showing that, you know, you're not his priority, you know? And, you know, it definitely will hurt his ego a little bit. But like I said, many times, it's all about the ego when it comes to players. You have to knock that down. You have to put him in their place. Now, he came to see you, right? He expected you to be fawning all over him, but you didn't.

This is perfect. Now you make sure that towards the end of the night, you find him, right? Take him in a corner and thank him for coming to see you, you know, that you have an early morning and you've really got to get home. Be the one to leave first. You know, this, you know, for me, gosh, this is thrown me off many, many times because you're like, well, this girl really wanted to see me, but now she's leaving early, which is I think is a big thing.

If you leave a tad bit early, I think it will throw me off completely. It will throw me, yeah, it will throw you off completely. You know, because he's expected to go home with you, right? He's expected to, oh, this is going to be a hookup. We're going to go back to replace. So this will definitely throw him off.

And he'll go back home being like, what the fuck just happened? I was doing what I normally do and it possibly backfired. If you're talking to a guy that has a huge ego, huge ego, he's going to think it backfired. And on a side note, I really, really think it shows something if the guy pays for your Uber on the way home. Not necessarily to pick you up, but on the way home, I think it's a very, I mean, this could go anyway, but I personally think it's kind of a sexy, romantic, mature thing if a guy pays for the Uber on the way home.

Anyway, so I promise the next day he's probably going to call you. Not more than probably, he's going to call you. Let's be honest. If it was me, I'm going to want to call you the next day. I'm not going to text you. I'm definitely going to call you. I'm going to try to make concrete plans with you. And this is your chance to accept the plan.

Set the time and the place together. Okay? So your new plan is for you and quote unquote John to get to a great restaurant at like 8 p.m. on a Saturday. You know, on that Saturday, I think between, I don't know, around the afternoon and around 3 o'clock, message him and say that you're, sorry, something came up and it won't work tonight. That will give him

a call tomorrow to reschedule. That is a really, really big one. At this point, the player has lost full control. And again, ladies, control is a huge thing with men like us. And, you know, I'm not going to lie, I'm going to be a little angry. My ego is burned

and it is torched. I'm not going to lie. There's times where I said, you know what, fuck this. I'm not even going to try it. But trust me, trust me on this one. his ego that's hurt will not accept this lightly i'm not going to take this lightly john's not going to take this lightly the next day you don't want to be a total bitch but shoot him a text saying hey you know i hope you had a fun night so sorry again i'm excited to see you maybe a little cute emoji you know always keep it vague though this will this will drive me nuts again girls

you're trying to outplay the player keep that in mind when i'm saying these things i've got I know a lot of you're thinking, okay, this is just a game. But again, if you're trying to beat him at his own game, these are the things to do. You always want to seem like you're just, have a little bit more important things to do, and his plans just don't seem like that important to you. I think, girls, you need to make him feel like he is way down on your priority list.

He really, really needs to feel that. You know, I can't tell you enough how many times I've had this happen to me, And then you're like, okay, I'm dealing with somebody who's very intelligent, who's very smart, who's not in it for games. She really sees something in me. I'm going to have to shift my game here, shift my strategy. And then the guy's going to think, wait a minute, this is not just some girl, some hookup. This is somebody who really wants something. And then it kind of turns the script on him.

He's like, well, maybe I want this too. You're maybe doing him some good. So having him realize that this is not the center of someone's universe is a huge, huge reality check for this guy. I mean, you could be literally changing this guy as we speak here. So guys like this aren't used to this, and it's completely throwing him for a total loop. And like I said, you can definitely be changing this guy in real time, which is kind of cool, right?

You're making this guy realize that, you know what? It's time to stop playing the games. I'm a good girl. I think we'd be something good together. And you know what? This could be a good thing, basically. So chances are high that he will be the one to ask you for another plan. And really at this point, you've gotten him eating out of the palm of your hands, girls.

I can't stress this enough. Now, at this point in the game, you really, the ball's in your court, you're the quarterback. Basically, it's just where you want to meet him. It's up to you and how you want to move forward from here. Because basically his ego is shot. He now probably really, really wants to see you. You probably got his brain going a mile a minute. And now he's eager.

So two very important qualities that a player loves in a woman. is someone that's fun okay yes and mysterious the fun part is huge right if she throws you off on a cool date other than going to dinner going to movie blah blah club like i said before the zoo right going for a hike uh maybe going to the museum because it creates conversation not just about where you are but about other things it could spike into something else family or friends or you know background parents or whatever because you're doing something that's throwing the player off he's not used to going to a freaking museum he's not used to going uh for a hike he's not used to going to starbucks he's used to i'm going to dinner i'm going to lay my line hard on her right going to get her back to her place and well

that's what's going to happen you know the rest from there so part of the reason players play is because they're tired of people who drag them down fall in love need to have serious conversations or want them to do the typical relationship type stuff, right? If you want to meet the player at his game, be fun, spontaneous, and up for anything. Whether it's a random day trip to the beach, which is always fun, keep things light and fresh. I'm a big fan of going to the beach. I think that's a lot of fun. And again, it spikes a lot of different conversation. Going to the beach is a very emotional thing. I go by myself, and that's kind of where my brain starts to go. You're watching the waves. You know, it's a beautiful day. It can turn into something extremely romantic. It can turn

into something extremely deep. Even if you don't get a significant other out of this, you can create such a great relationship by going to the beach. Something as simple as that. Keep things mysterious without telling too much, without opening up too much about your feelings. Keep that very, very vague, especially in the beginning. I know it's hard to do, especially if you're doing, you know, dates where the conversation is going that way, just keep it light, especially for the first few weeks. Not saying do it, never do it. I'm saying just keep it bang in the beginning. You know, instead of making him guess what's really on your mind, have him work to find out the information about you. I can't stress that enough, girls. Make him work for it. Like make him show his

emotions. Men have emotions, believe it or not. We really, really do. We just have a really, really big wall and again using the word ego and we're very very scared of going there vulnerability humbleness is a very very hard thing for men so okay obviously guys this advice is completely toxic right and definitely my opinion but remember you're trying to play this guy right not marry him i'm totally against games but if you want to get on his level i suggest you listen to this so now that you all have learned, right, how to outplay the player, I'm going to let you go. But let your thoughts really, really dive deep on this episode. I have a feeling, you know, this one is definitely going to be a little controversial, but you guys know I'm all about a little controversy, right? This is

definitely going to be an interesting discussion, definitely for the future, and I cannot wait for your feedback. That being said, in the upcoming future, we are going to have a lot of amazing influential females on this podcast that can go back and forth with me on some of this, because let's be honest, you guys are going to get tired of hearing me all the time. You want to hear some female input, right? So yeah, I'm very excited about that. We've got some great, great ladies coming on. Also, I hope you guys all have a safe and happy new year.

Drive safe, take Uber's, and we'll see you in the new year. All right. Take care, everybody, and I will see you next time. Hi, I'm Stasi Schroeder. On my podcast, I share candid updates from my personal life, chat with some of my best friends about what's going on in our lives, give commentary on the latest pop culture headlines, and sometimes deep dive into random topics I'm obsessed with,

like human design. It's a bit all over the place, but that's how I like it. And you will too. Listen to my podcast, Stasi, wherever you get your podcasts.