When Reality Hits with Jax and Brittany - In The Mind of a Man

Episode Date: October 11, 2024

Former 3-Week guy, Jax Taylor fields all of your questions about why guys act the way they do in relationships including breadcrumbing, love bombing, ghosting, situationships, soul mates, cheating, hall passes, and gaslighting. Check out our great sponsors! Nutrafol: Got thinning hair? Get $10 off your first month’s subscription and free shipping at Nutrafol.com and use code REALITYHITS G-Defy: Need comfy sneakers? Use code "Realityhits" for $20 off orders of $100 or more at GDefy.com  Progressive: Quote at Progressive.com to join over 28 million drivers who trust Progressive!

Hey everyone, welcome back to When Reality Hits with Jackson Brittany. It is just me today, everybody. So as I promised, I'm going to do a podcast dedicated to people wanting some answers about men and dating and relationships and well, this new word called situationships that is a big, I think Gen Z term used now because I've never heard of it. And I'm definitely not claiming to be some sort of relationship advice expert or really give any productive advice

because we all know I think I'm the last person in the world that should be giving advice to anybody, really about anything. But I think I can help here with giving a little bit of perspective where some guys could be coming from. And maybe giving you why I did what I did and maybe the do's and don'ts.

Why do a lot of men say some of the things that they do? What their actions, maybe telling you, if you're dating somebody, what are the do's and the don'ts? What are the flags? Or maybe this won't help at all, who knows? But let's talk about it. As you know, I really don't have a filter with a lot of things.

And, you know, I'm going through something right now in my life, you know, I'm battling with my mental health struggles and I'm, you know, going through a pretty public divorce and, you know, maybe somebody can, you know, give me some input or maybe I can help somebody out, who knows? So let's just try and, you know, let's give it give it a try why not right? So, okay, here we go So a lot of people wrote in with some great questions

but before I get into this let's start by listing some of these terms that I've I've been seeing all over social media and I got to tell you I've done them all and I'm very embarrassed by it I'm very ashamed by it, but I had no idea that there was actually terms about this. And, you know, a lot of you have mentioned all these in your questions, and I kind of had to go back and look all the stuff up and be like, okay, holy hell, I do all these things. And it's like, I'm definitely not proud of vitamins,

and I don't want anybody to think that I'm proud of it, but I'm definitely understanding why, you know, why I've done a lot of these things. I literally didn't know that there was like things called bread crumbing, gaslighting, what are some of the other words? Love bombing, benching. Benching is a new one that we'll get into that I literally just found out about this week. So, you know, clearly any person doing these things listed below are not worth your time and have serious issues of their own.

You know, I've been honest that I've behaved in some of these ways, actually a lot of these ways before, and was I right? Absolutely not. So let's talk about it. Let's get into it. Let's figure out why, you know, I do a lot of these things. Let's figure out why a lot of guys do a lot of these things. Let's figure out why a lot of your husbands or your boyfriends or the guy you're dating does a lot of these things. Let's figure out why a lot of guys do a lot of these things. That's why, let's figure out why a lot of your husbands or your boyfriends or the guy you're dating does a lot of these things. So let's get into it, okay? So the first one, which is called bread crumbing. So the definition, a manipulative tactic where someone gives another person just enough attention,

affection or time to keep them interested without intending to commit to a relationship. Showing interest in order to keep them interested despite not actually having their intention for real relationship with the person. The tactic can also be done in marriages too. So, okay. I mean, yeah, I'm very, very guilty of doing this,

not only in my marriage, but I've done this, I think in every relationship that I've had. Bread crumbing to to me, is control. And even though I may not want to be in that relationship anymore, even though I think the relationship is pretty much done, I still want that control. I still want them on the end of the line,

if that makes any sense. And I think a lot of guys are like that, because, well, I think we're scared, and guys are like that because well I think we're scared and we want I you know I think we're scared but I know for me it was the control. I want to know that that for me that woman is still there like you know if things aren't going one way I can always go back to that or you know I just don't want to write it off and it's such a terrible thing to do like instead of just ending it and being like you know this isn't working out or you know I've decided I like somebody else or whatever it may be we breadcrumb we keep them there and we

keep them interested and I am a hundred percent guilty of this I'm not only guilty of this in my past dating but I'm guilty this in my marriage you know and I you know I'm still doing it to this day that's the sad part as I'm still freaking doing this now and even though I know the definition and I'm still doing it to this day. That's the sad part, as I'm still fricking doing this now, and even though I know the definition and I know I've been told that I still do it, I'm not giving, you know, I'll use my marriage, for example. I'm not giving Brittany the space that she needs.

For me, it's a control thing. And I'm realizing that now, but it's also, I don't mean to do it, I really don't. I'm just, I'm not, I'm break-comming and it's a terrible trait. And for those of you going through a relationship breakup right now or going through troubles in your relationship and you're asking for space, you're saying,

listen, so and so, I need a month to take a break. And this person is still texting you, little things like that, like, oh, how's your day going? Even though you think you're doing the right thing. Because I in my brain, I'm thinking, okay, I'm reaching out because I just thought I'm being nice or, you know, it's a bad thing. And I'm like, why is this bad?

Because you're bread crumbing. So that's the definition of that. And if you're dating somebody who's doing that, you need to put an end to it. And if you're doing this to somebody, you need to put an end to it And if you're doing this to somebody you need to put an end to it because you're not helping them or yourself Even though you think you are so examples of I'm sorry. I'm just to go back and some of these examples of bread crumbing is texting DMing saying things like I can't wait to see but rarely following through or at least not consistently

Essentially leaving the other person confused. God, I've done all these fucking things. Changing the subject when the conversation becomes serious. Yep, big guy, I do that too. Giving compliments one day and ignoring the person the next. I do all these things and I honestly thought I was doing the right thing and I'm literally damaging this person. So, you

know, why do we think men do this? Well, I'll tell you why I do this because it's control. Again, I honestly thought I was doing the right thing. I that's the best way I can explain that one. I just thought I was just being nice and you know, I don't know that's about as that's about as all I can say on that one. So here's the next one, love bombing. Again, this is a new word for me. It's been around for a while. The definition of this is love bombing

is an emotional manipulation technique that involves giving someone excessive compliments, attention or affection to eventually control them. Kinda goes along with bread crumbing a little bit, right? Because eventually we wanna control them. There's that word again control manipulation I guess you can throw narcissism in there too but I like giving people comments and that's and again people are saying you got to stop love bombing and I'm like why why do I

need to stop complimenting people like why can't I just say something just to say something because it's gonna make that day make that person's day better and that's what I thought I was doing you know with Brittany. Yes we're going through divorce but I thought you know what I'm still gonna compliment her I know she's going through a hard time I know she's going through the divorce as well as me but how is it gonna ruin her day by me giving her a compliment and well now I'm knowing that it's it's it's love bombing You know excessive compliments wanting to spend all your time together or needing to be constant communication throughout the day. Yes I still do that to this day

Even though Brittany will be like I need some time or my friends will be like, you know You got to give her some space or set some boundaries. I still have to text her and be like, how's your day going? And I'm like even as I'm it, I know that I'm doing it. But it's just, it's like a habit for me because, you know, I'm a nice person. I really am a nice person. I think I'm really doing the right thing sometimes. More things, early talks about your relationship, shopping together and your future.

My God, a lot of people do this when they beginning dating, when they start dating, you know, they start getting really into the relationship and they start throwing things like you know, oh, can we move in together? Let's go. Yeah, like shopping together moving into quickly my god every girlfriend. I've had I think they've moved in within the first month Yeah, Brittany was no different. I think she moved in four weeks. I think with four weeks So yeah, I've done again. I've done all these things and And I think, I don't know, I think there's codependency there for me. I think that, you know, I have a hard time being alone. I'm working on that now as we speak, enjoying being alone. But I think for me, it was, you know, just not wanting to be alone. And, you know, saying I love you very quickly. God, I think for me it was, you know, just not wanting to be alone and

You know saying I love you very quickly. God. I think I did that too Wanting to make things official straight away Instagram official Facebook official, whatever you whatever you guys call it nowadays Making plans to move in together. Like I said, I've done that every time which ultimately, you know results in love bomber having second thoughts and wanting to pull away or to end things abruptly after a few weeks or after an argument. For me, once I got the girl, for example, once I started dating, so this is before Brittany, once I would date somebody, once I would hook them. This is a terrible thing. By the way, I'm not saying this was a cool thing to do by any means.

I'm telling you because this is what I did and this is what got Me in so much trouble with everybody. I Would you know literally love bomb the hell out of these girls the first week or two and then once I got them like I said Hook line and sinker I would wait for something so petty such as a little argument or not showing up or something Whatever whatever it may be something really petty and then I would be like I would ghost I was out I was kind Of like the three-week guy like I would fall in love with these people or make them fall in love with me within three weeks And then I was gone it was kind of the running joke and it really wasn't a joke But it was my friends would just make fun of me all about it, and I just I didn't think anything of it

I just thought this was my thing. I thought okay after three weeks. It's over. You know there's nothing more to chase I would get it all so fast and when I say get it all this is I don't know how I put this you know without sounding disgusting but you know we would be romantic quickly you know we would you know the intimacy would happen fairly quickly and if it didn't then I would be gone and you know and once I feel like once you're intimate in a relationship it changes things obviously Whether they want to admit it or you want to admit it or don't want to admit it obviously intimacy changes things I

Guess people use the word the new word right now is catching feelings You know it changes things and then especially for a woman especially you know guys You know when you know when I used to do, we just didn't think much of it. It was just somebody else we're dating and then you hook up and that would be it. But, you know, these women actually have feelings. They actually care about you. And like all these things that you're saying, they're believing. And again, I did all this stuff. So, again, why do I think men do this? Again, I think, again, it's a control thing. It's a control thing. It's, it's, and I hate to use the word game in a relationship because it's kind of disgusting

that you use the word game in meeting somebody and screwing with their emotions. But I have to say, I, it was, in my younger days, it was a game and it just sounds so disgusting to say out loud. If you've noticed your hair is shedding more than usual, it could have something to do with the tight braids or ponytails you were wearing over the last few months, or all the sun your hair was exposed to. This fall is the perfect time to add NutriFull into your daily routine and improve your hair health. My hair is looking so much healthier and it is feeling amazing.

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I've been using the G-Defy shoes a lot, especially on the treadmill. I get shin splints all the time and these shoes have literally eliminated all my shin splints. And plus with the orthotics, you feel like you're walking on air. Whether you're power walking to brunch or making a dramatic exit, these shoes have your back and feet. So guys, if you want these G-Defy shoes use reality hits for $20 off orders of $100 or more at G-Defy.com. That's reality hits for $20 off all orders of $100 or more at G-Defy.com. That's G-D-E-F-Y.com. The next one is gaslighting. So here again the definition of gaslighting is a psychological tactic that involves making someone doubt their reality, memory or sanity.

It can involve blaming or using the silent treatment. Gaslighting has been such a huge word lately and it's probably within the last year that word has been used a lot and it's been used a lot with me and I don't even know I'm fucking doing it and every time I'm saying something I have to check with myself I'm like am I gaslighting am I gaslighting I have to ask my friends am I gaslighting somebody because I've never heard of this term before and I've been doing this shit for years why do you men do this I think again it's it's it is a psychological tactic for sure because you know once somebody if for me once a girl, you know

You know is is I guess doubting things or maybe like if you're in a relationship And they're and they're getting mad at you and you're losing the okay This is a good way to put it if you're losing the control in the relationship You want to make that person feel like they're an idiot? You know in the relationship, you want to make that person feel like they're an idiot. You know, their memory, their sanity or blaming or, you know, because you're losing the control because that girl or that guy is figuring you out. They're getting it and they're thinking, wait, you know, this is happening too quickly, such as like falling in love too quickly or

or, you know, getting in a relationship quickly. And then they figure you out. And then you throw this gaslighting thing out there to make them think, OK, they're crazy for figuring you out like how could they think like this so again this is another thing that I used to do and why do you men do this well I kind of just said it because when girls do figure you out you got to gaslight them you got to make them feel stupid or you're gonna lose them and yeah it's a terrible like terrible, like, these are all such terrible, terrible things,

but, and I've done all of them. So the next one here is called benching. I've never heard of this one before. I'm just gonna say that I've never heard of it. Here's the definition. Feeling that there is always someone better lingering in our minds and can causes us to avoid commitment.

Benchers keep their options open in order to make a wrong choice. Benchers keep their options open in order to make a wrong choice. Benchers keep their partners at disposal in order to not feel alone. Yet benchers refrain from taking things seriously just in case they meet someone better. The victim feels like they are being toyed with and just when they are at the point of giving up and moving on, the bencher reappears to keep them interested. This gives false sense of hope to the victim who may be looking for something more serious or long-term. So why do people do this? I think you know with today's social media especially in you know all

the different dating apps and all that other crap that's out there you know personally I've never been on a dating app to be honest but I can imagine that it's because well I never been on dating app because dating apps kind of came out when gosh I've always been in a dating app because dating apps kind of came out when Gosh, I've always been in a relationship. So when the dating apps came out, I was never really never really using them I think you know I never really got into them because I was always in a relationship But I can imagine that it's become so easy to meet someone new just with a quick swipe You know that's just you know at their fingertips basically they can find someone in a second and they get bored with something They can find somebody else around the corner.

Yeah, I think dating apps are just, I've gotten so big over the years, and again, I have never really partaken in a dating app, so if you do see me on a dating app, it's not me. You're being catfished, it's not me, I'm not on there. Not that I'm too good for it or anything, like I said, I've always been in like, you know, relationships, short-term, long-term, whatever. But yeah, I think dating apps are scary. I mean, it's, it's...

I don't know. I've had some friends tell me that it's been okay. I've had some scary stories on it. A lot of people get, you know, catfished, I guess is the word now. So, I don't know. I don't know about the benching one. I guess I definitely have some tendencies in there. You know, I think, you know, people always think the grass is always greener on the other side kind of thing. They want like keeping their options open.

Even though you have something good, you wanna keep your options open, right? Maybe you even use that word self-sabotage a little bit in there, I don't know, maybe. So the next one is ghosting. Yeah, this one, this one I've heard. Ghosting is when someone completely cuts off all ties with no intent of speaking to them again.

So, you know, okay, so the big one I see all over social media, especially on TikTok, is situationships. And that's another one, but we'll get into the ghosting really quick. So you're texting a girl, it's going. You hook up one night, and that's it You know I think that's the main one for men is ghosting is maybe like a one-night stand or Maybe you've gone out two or three times You finally have the intimacy and then it's over and I think that's the big one for ghosting that would probably be the most popular

One like why did he ghost me so I thinking, I think the main ghosting one is, like I said, I think it's like, is when you're intimate too quickly. I think that's the main one. I think that's the most popular one. When you ghost somebody, I think that's the only reason why I can think you ghost somebody is because, well, you got everything you got out of the relationship,

whether it was one week or two days, then you ghost him, right? So the next one is situationship. So on Google, a situationship is defined as romantic or sexual relationship between two people It is not clearly defined or labeled and is somewhere between a very close friendship and a relationship Where two people spend a lot of time together have a deep connection together, but also involve low levels of commitment a Situationship is essentially a relationship without any commitment This is a big one now, I think.

I think the younger generation is really big into this. I think people are, I know a handful of people that are doing this right now. And like I said, when I was younger, in my 20s and 30s, this would not exist. I think this is a new millennial thing. I think people are not wanting to get tied down so quickly, maybe because they don't wanna get hurt. I don't know why this is such a trend. I really, I don't, but I don't know.

I do know about a handful of people that are in this right now. I think this is a new, a newer thing. I don't know where it came. This is sound like this is sound like this is so male driven and I hate to say that but it just sounds like a man would do this this is more probably a male driven than female driven but I could be wrong I don't know I don't know how younger women and younger men date

nowadays it's I'm scared of it and to be honest I'm really scared and I don't even know how I'm ever gonna date again to be honest because I'm so scared of it but anyway let's get into some fan questions because well it's pretty popular and it's been doing really good and I love opening up about all this stuff because well I think there's people out there that you know kids can learn something maybe I'm learning stuff and maybe they can they've been watching me over the years and want to know why I do certain things and I feel like I can clear certain things up because let's be honest you watch a 45

minute show and you got you know seven eight cast members on there you're not the stories are not always told right you see an argument you see a fight you don't know how that fight started you don't know how it ended you just see Jax Taylor going absolutely berserk and you're like that guy is fucking crazy well I'm not crazy you didn't see the how the fight started you didn't see how it ended you didn't see where the fight started. You didn't see how it ended. You didn't see where it all began. And unfortunately with reality TV,

there's so many cast members that they have to, can only show so many clips, right? So the more entertaining clips are the clips where people are going crazy. So people just assume that I'm a nut job. So this is what's fun about answering these questions because I'm not really that crazy. Do I have blowups?

Yeah, I do. But there's more to it. So anyway, here we go. I'm in a situationship and I want these, I'm sorry, by the way, these are fan questions and let's try to get through these, I guess my opinion and like I said, don't take my advice. This is just how I feel. I'm probably the last person

that should give anybody advice, but let's, here we go. I'm in a situationship and I want more. Anytime I bring anything up to him, he changes the subject. What do I do? So again, I'm assuming, I'm just gonna guess that this guy is probably younger than 30,

or he's in his 30s. Again, this is a younger generation thing, the situationship, because this stuff that I'm here is not, it would not be, it would not happen back when in my 20s and 30s. You're either in a relationship or you're not. This whole in the middle thing and not really seeing what you are, it just, it didn't exist. And I think it's just a younger thing.

In my opinion, you know, if you're in your 20s and you're, I personally don't think you should be in a serious relationship in your 20s in this day and age. I don't think so. I just think that you guys are still learning about yourselves. I think social media plays a huge role. I think you're still learning about yourself.

I think you should date, but I think you should be very open in the beginning and say, listen, I don't really want this relationship right now. I love hanging out with you But this is kind of where I am I have some friends going through this right now too and I feel like there's just they're not being very clear about what they want they want to see how far they can take it without having to define where they are and So my opinion of that is just call that person out. This is a female.

Oh, yes, what is this? A female. I'm sorry. What I would do is just say, listen, let's let's meet for dinner. This is how I feel. This is what I want. If you can't give me that, that's OK. But I have to walk away. Or, you know, if you're OK with the situation, say, OK, I'm OK with it going this far but at a certain point I'm gonna need this so I think you have to set the boundaries I think you need to set some kind of some ground rules especially like I said in this day and age there's the dating is so weird nowadays it's like it's it's just it baffles me and it scares me at the same time so anyway that's what I think do you think a situationship can turn into a real relationship?

I think it can if you set the rules in the beginning. I think within the first, I would say month, if you're still in the situationship after a month, then you have to sit down and be like, okay, this is what's going on. This is defined as a situationship. I want something more. I can't continue this going on any further until you give me what I need. And if you can't, that's okay, but

I'm going to have to walk away. I think you just need to set the boundaries. I think you need to define what you're going through and not be scared about talking about it. I think a lot of men and women are both scared. I think they like what's going on. They don't want to disrupt it and they want to keep it going. But at the end of the day, it's in the back of their mind. They just don't want to bring it up, but they don't they like what's going on. They don't want to disrupt it and they want to keep it going But at the end of the day, it's in the back of their mind They just don't want to bring it up But they don't want to fuck up everything that's going on right now so it's kind of a it's a tough thing to do because You bring it up and then you might scare the guy or girl and then like well

I better bounce because well the times up and now they want a definition of what this is. So That's my thinking on that one of what this is. So that auto quote from Progressive Insurance. It's easy and you can save money by doing it right from your phone. Drivers who save by switching to Progressive save nearly $750 on average and auto customers qualify for an average of 7 discounts. Discounts for having multiple vehicles on your policy, being a homeowner and more. So just like your favorite podcast, Progressive will be with you 24-7, 365 days a year, so you're protected no matter what.

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["Sweet Home Run"] Having obsessive crushes that don't like you back. situations. Having obsessive crushes that don't like you back. How to move on? Having obsessive crushes that don't like you back. You got to move on. Especially if the person knows and they're not doing anything about it, you're just, I think you're just torturing yourself. I think, you know, especially if the person knows and you're really anything about it, you're just, I think you're just torturing yourself. I think, you know, especially if the person knows and you're

really obvious about it, then it gets to the point where you get embarrassed and that person probably gets embarrassed and especially if you have the same group of friends. I think, you know, if they don't show interest and if you're not fully honest, if you're fully honest with it and they don't show interest, you got to move on. Because I think you're just torturing yourself. I'm just going to keep that one short because I think that's what you should do with that one. We spent a lot of time together, have deep conversations, knows my family and friends,

but won't commit. Again, this is a situationship. We spent a lot of time together, have deep conversations, knows my family and friends, but won't commit. Now, if you didn't, why? This question doesn't have the word intimacy in it and I'm curious if we spend a lot of time together I wonder if you guys have been intimate because that changes everything

right there. Now if you're spent a lot of time together you have deep conversations and those my family and friends but won't commit. That sounds like a friend to me. Now the only way that would change is if you guys are having sex. So are you making it clear that you want him as a boyfriend and girlfriend? Because if you spend... I spent a lot of time with people. I have deep conversations with people. I have people that know my family and friends, but I'm not gonna commit to them. So I think you need to be honest and then, you know, after a while you gotta be like, where is

this going? But again, some people are scared to do that because they don't want to ruin their friendship, right? And they think, okay, now it's gone... it's gotten awkward, right? I'm gonna use the old don't want to ruin their friendship, right? And they think, okay, now it's gone, it's gone awkward, right? Um, I'm gonna use the old, you know, the show Friends, right? Look at Monica and Chandler, right? They were friends forever, and then they slept together, and now they're like, fuck, what do we do now, right? It was, it was a funny storyline, but that's basically the same thing here.

Um, I think you need to be a little bit more clear here on this question. I think you need to, especially if there's intimacy, I think it's, I need to know if you guys have been intimate or not, so. Um, and you just need to be honest. bit more clear here on this question. I think you need to, especially if there's intimacy, I think it's, I need to know if you guys have been intimate or not. So, and you just need to be honest. Call him on it. Why, you know, why won't you commit? Or are we just friends? So that's what I think about that one. He goes many days texting me how much he's into me and then ghosts for a few days and then comes back wanting to hang out. Why is he doing this? Well that's very easy. You're not the only one around. This is a simple one. And yeah,

so he's probably got, you know, three to five girls. He's texting, right? And he's texting, probably hanging out with the other ones. And then when they're busy, he circles back to you. And I know this because I've done this multiple, multiple times. I'm sorry that you're going through that. It's such a terrible, terrible thing. But that's exactly what that is. That's exactly what that is. There's multiple people on this guy's phone or on this girl's phone.

And you know, when they're busy, then he circles back to you. That's exactly what that is because I've done it. What are some of the things women do to turn guys off? Oh man. This is a scary one for me to get into. What are some of the things that women do to turn guys off? I guess nagging would be one. I guess picking fights, picking small fights, picking and choosing your battles, arguing about stupid shit. You know, I guess nagging would be, I guess mine.

That would be my big one. Nagging and, yeah, nagging. I think that's the best way to answer that one, just nagging. What can women do to make a man obsessed with you? What can women, this is people asking me, what can a woman do to make a man obsessed with you? What can women, this is people asking me, what can a woman do to make a man obsessed? I heard of another term and it's called, what girls do are, they're pick me's. Is it pick me? Am I using that right?

Pick me? There's a lot of girls that are pick me girls where I guess there's the golden retriever and then there's the black cat. This is, again, this is somebody who just described this to me where, you know, you want to be the person, you want to be the black cat. You don't want to be the, you know, the pick me person. Be the black cat.

You want to give, you want to give them a little bit of, you know, don't always text back right away. Don't always give the person what they want right away. Don't answer within five seconds. You know, be a little, you know, make them chase you a little bit. And you know, maybe, maybe do something. If they're into sports, like maybe meet them at a sports bar and maybe find out what they're interested in. But don't be so eager. Don't be so eager to please. Maybe don't be so eager to text

back. Play it cool. Just basically don't give up the, what do they say, don't give up the farm or don't, what's what I'm trying to say, don't give up the farm so quickly or don't, but you know what I'm saying, like be a little hard to get, be a little, you know, I guess that would work for me. And this is again, a lot of these what would work for me is if I'm into a girl and I text her and then I don't hear from her for a couple days and then she's's kind of just like hey you know and very like just short and Just don't be so overly aggressive and just kind of do a little cat and mouse game I know that's games, and I know a lot of people don't like games

But if you want a guy to like pursue you you got to be a little You got to play that you got to play that game little cat and mouse I guess if you're trying to get somebody to pursue you and don't just give it up so fast That's my that's my it would work for me. Anyway me. I mean it is very immature But if you want a guy to be obsessed with you quickly, then you gotta you gotta play the game But again, if you play the game that is an immature thing playing games is immature I mean again this probably could be coming from somebody who's in her 20s that wants to be somebody obsessed with them.

That's what you do. But as you get older, you're going to that's just that's not going to fly. Let's be honest. Do you believe in soulmates? That's a tough question. I believe in I believe that there is a person out there for everybody. Sometimes you find them. Sometimes you don't I

Don't necessarily I don't I don't know if I'd use the word soulmate I think you find the person that you're looking for when it's the right time. Is it necessary the right person? Maybe maybe not but we all find somebody that we're looking for, it all depends on, this is a tough question, so it all depends on what you're looking for at that time. Are you going through a lonely phase? Are you grieving? Are you, you know, are you, is there something going

on in your life where just someone kind of enters it and you're like, wow, this person's amazing. Like that necessarily isn't your soulmate, but you're connecting with this person because, well, you're going through something and it just works. That's what I think. I necessarily don't think they're soulmates.

I think you find people when you're going through a certain situation in life and it just works, it just connects. That makes sense. Okay, talk about the Madonna whore complex. Do you think it's true in your opinion? Oh God, this is a tough one to talk about because you guys are gonna think I'm a pig but I do I

Do believe in this I I do think that there's guys out there that put their wives or girlfriends on a pedestal and yet They go out and either cheat or hook up with other people and do things that they necessarily wouldn't do with their significant other whether it's a complex, whether it's a fetish or something like that. I mean, it's obviously a thing. It's called the Madonna... I've never heard the word whore complex. I've heard Madonna syndrome. And I do know some people who do that. And I think it's obviously very disgusting. And I honestly don't think you should be in a relationship if you're doing this

I think it was a very dated thing. I think they I think I heard I think I seen this on Excuse me. I don't know if you remember the show the tutors They did this on that show a lot and it was like a like period shows They did this because they had these queens or they had their wives and they were just representing the whole You know the whole family or the whole tribe or whatever But then the guys would have their I guess quote-unquote whores on the side because they didn't want to treat their their wives that way Do I agree with it? No, but that's just it's what happens After having both my kids my husband became distant why

This is another tough one because this is kind of what happened between Brittany and I and I'm gonna tell you why this happened. You have kids and now all of a sudden your husband or your wife is not your main priority and you start putting your relationship on the back burner and this is exactly what I did I Didn't go on date nights anymore We didn't discuss our relationship anymore. The only thing we cared about the only thing we talked about was our son and I

Get asked this question a lot like what would I what could if I could change, you know something in my relationship? What would I do and I would have put my wife first. I would have put her ahead of everything else. I wouldn't have, I mean, you should always put your kids first. Don't get me wrong, but there's gotta be, you gotta have a date night. You know, you gotta, you gotta have talks.

You gotta go on walks. You gotta go on vacations together. It's okay to leave your child with the grandparents for a while and make sure you set aside some time for your, for your wife or your husband, because it'll happen like what happened to me. And next thing you know, you become roommates, become best friends. And then it gets so long. Then there's a huge gap. For instance, maybe you're not intimate anymore. Maybe you don't go on dates anymore. And then all of a sudden, weeks go by, months go by, and then things start to get weird because then you're

like, oh my God, we haven't slept together, we haven't been intimate in like weeks and months, and then how do we do it? How do we get back into it? And then it becomes weird, and then next thing you know, you're like, what the hell happened to our relationship? Because you didn't put your relationship first when you had these kids, that's what happened.

And this happens a lot. This happens, I know a bunch of guys that are going through this. And it's because they just, they didn't put their wives or their husbands first. They didn't, you know, set aside date nights. And you're trying to be a good parent and you want to put your kids first and you want to put their priorities first. And you get, especially if you have multiple kids, you're tired, right? You don't feel sexy anymore.

You know, now you're a parent and you just don't feel like that person exists anymore and that's that's a shame because people have to you should keep that you have to work on that it's a very it's a lot of work and I know a lot of guys that are going through that right now that they have to put a lot and women you have to work out it you have to go to therapy you have to find that spark again because kids unfortunately take it away. All right. If a man is cheated, will he always cheat and will he cheat again?

Unfortunately, we all know I have cheated before, but I will tell you I have never cheated on my wife. Did I cheat on Brittany before we were married? Yes, I think we all know that. Did I cheat while I was married? Absolutely not. No, I never, never, never did that. I think, you know they always say, once a cheater, always a cheater, right? I think if you cheated, I don't think you should be in a relationship. I think if you've done that, I don't think

relationships are for you. I don't think that person was right for you. If you're cheating, then you're obviously looking for something else, or're not happy and it's a lot easier said than done. You should obviously just leave the relationship I don't know what the thrill is of Now okay for me, let me I'll give you an example and I'll say for me why I did what I I wasn't getting What I needed out of the relationship and instead of going to that girl and saying, listen, I'm not getting A, B, and C, I was like, you know what, let's do this and see what happens. Now, did I necessarily like the person I was shooting at?

No, I wasn't, but I was looking for attention. And I wasn't getting the attention I needed, and I'm sure she wasn't getting the attention she needed, but we didn't know this, and I was like, somebody else has given me a little bit of attention, and maybe the intimacy was kind of falling off a little bit so you're looking for, you want to keep the girlfriend because you love her and you want or your wife or whatever but you know, maybe it's slacking in

certain departments and usually it slacks in the intimacy. That's, that's usually where it starts slacking, right? So you go somewhere else and you get what you need and then you go back. Again, this is kind of, it goes along with the Madonna thing a little bit. You want to be with that person that's your queen, that's your wife, that's your husband, whatever, but it's slacking in a certain department so we go seek it elsewhere. Do all men wish they had a hall pass or can most be generally happy and faithful? I think most men could be happily and faithful. I think you know there's always gonna be a fantasy I think women have it too. I think we all have a fantasy of a hall pass or a certain celebrity or a crush or whatever

I think we all have that in the back of our mind I think you're lying to yourself if you say you don't have a hall pass even if the other person doesn't know it in The back of your mind you see somebody on TV. You saw somebody walking down the streets. You'd be like oh I you know if I had a chance or whatever you would everybody's got a hall pass I think male and female I think it's it's just kind of like a fantasy thing it's not you don't have to act on it and I think it's you know I think people talk about it all the time who's your hall pass there wasn't even a movie about hall pass there was there's a comedy about it so So I think for the most part, if you're faithful, I think it's a funny thing.

I think a lot of couples will be like, well, this is my Hall Pass and this is her Hall Pass, but they never act on it. I think it's kind of just a running joke, but you're with somebody your whole life, right? And I think it's natural to be like, well, if I could go away for a week, this is who it would be.

And Brady and I had Hall Passes. We did, obviously we never acted on it, but we did because it was funny It was a celebrity who's your celebrity crush or who's your hall pass? I honestly don't think there's anything wrong with it as long as you don't act on it. I Mean, I honestly don't know anybody who who doesn't have a hall pass. I really really don't male or female I think it's kind of like the running joke with everybody When you gaslight, is there something within you that knows that you're doing it? No, for me, this is a personal question to me. I didn't know I was gaslighting. Again, I just learned what this word, uh, gaslight,

I think this year, this year it became a really popular word. I want to say TikTok, social media, Instagram. I think within the last, I want to say year, year and a half for me anyway, I just started learning about this word. Now I've been doing gaslighting for years, years, and I had no idea when I was doing it. And I wasn't doing it maliciously. It was just like a habit. I was just kind of just doing it and I'm like,

holy shit, I'm gaslighting. This is a big thing. And now I'm being called on it when I'm doing it. In fact, now I'll have conversations with Brittany or I'll have conversations with other people and I'll be mid-conversation and I'll have to turn to my friend and be like, am I gaslighting right now? Is this what gaslighting is? And some people will be like, well, you're getting there or yeah, you are. And I have to stop myself because I'm just automatically doing it without even thinking.

And that's terrible. That is absolutely terrible way of doing things. And I'm so sorry that I've done that to all my girlfriends in the past and I don't even mean to do it. It was just something I did. And now that there's a term for it, I'm just, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, any girlfriends, ex-girlfriends of mine

that are listening to this, I apologize for ever gaslighting. Terrible, terrible thing to do. So the last question comes from a another fan says I am recently going through a divorce when is it appropriate to start dating again that's a tough one because I'm actually going through the same thing I think I mean the right way to do it would probably You know be after you sign the papers I think I think it would be okay to start again as soon as you know you sign the papers and It's official. I think that would be an okay time to start entertaining dating again

I think that would be I think that would be the right time. So anyway, thank you guys so much for listening I think that would be the right time. So anyway, thank you guys so much for listening I love doing these questions with you all and I kind of like calling this like in the mind of a man Maybe we'll figure something out like that. I don't know Maybe we'll figure out some kind of title that we can call something like this little segment Again, these are all don't take any of my advice These are just questions that you guys are getting from me and I really really appreciate it. I love talking to you guys so much Again, have a great great week. Thanks for listening. We'll talk to you later and we'll see you next week.