When Reality Hits with Jax and Brittany - In The Mind of a Man: ICK EDITION w/ Tom Schwartz

Episode Date: December 19, 2024

VPR Legend and friend of the pod TOM SCHWARTZ joins Jax to talk all things ICK!! Check out our holiday deals!! G-Defy: Need comfy shoes for parent life? Head to GDEFY.com and use code REALITYHITS for 50% off your entire order! Wayfair: Set the scene for new holiday memories! Head to Wayfair.com RIGHT NOW to get your home holiday ready!

All right, welcome back to when reality hits with Jack's in the mind of a man we're back and today we're talking about all about the it. So what's up everybody I'm sitting here with the one and only my boy Tom Schwartz. So we recently just got back from an awesome awesome weekend in Toronto. Tom, how many times have we literally been in Toronto slash Canada, you know, in the past few months? Geez, I think we I mean, I feel like we're honorary citizens at this point. I feel like we're in Canada more than we're even here.

No, I mean, I feel like I'm bleeding maple syrup now. I feel like it's our it's our you know, it's our second home at this point, you know. So I mean, everybody was just obviously every time every single time we go there Everybody is just so welcoming everybody goes out of their way just to be so nice that people in Canada are just so amazing I got I got to do a bucket list of mine. I got to go to Scotiabank I got to go to a Leafs game and not only that the Leafs were playing the Detroit Reddits, which is my home team Like I said, it was a big big bucket list for me And not only that, the Leafs were playing the Detroit Red Reigns, which is my home team.

Like I said, it was a big, big bucket list for me. And, you know, thank you to, you know, the PR over there and for having us, you know, and the main reason why we there is we went to a club. We had an appearance at a place called early mercy. And again, the people on the team over there were amazing. We met so many great people, got to take pictures with lots of fans and we can't wait to go back out there. Actually, I'm really excited to go back out there in the summertime, because they have so many cool places out there in the summer. They

have this place called Cabana, which I was there, you know, previously, and we had a lot of fun. So hopefully Tom can come with me on that next one. But anyway, so to get started here, you know, the reason I had Tom come on this podcast is because while we were traveling together this weekend, we had a lot of funny funny conversations. So we came across this new term called, well, it's not new, but it's new to me. It's called the Ick. And it's another term that I got from one of my favorite shows. Nobody wants this, right?

And it's kind of described as as I guess, utter disgust. You know, every time I feel like every time I say it, I kind of laugh at it. It's like it basically I'm in my main question is, which we're going to get into in a minute is like, can you come back from the thick? And also, let's let's address a potential elephant in the room you guys some of our listeners might be thinking 240 year olds Doing a podcast about the X might in itself be an egg, but this is like novel to me This is novel to us. I've never done a deep dive into X I'm very familiar of turnoffs and things that can make you think differently about another human being, you know

But like I've never done a deep dive really indulged in the X. So I'm kind of looking forward to this, you know, you know, the last couple podcasts that I've done, I've gone over these terms that are just so new. But I mean, obviously, people have been doing them for years. But now there's actually terms for them. Like I said, in the previous podcast, I was doing bread, covering gas, letting all that stuff. And so now this is a new one. And I I, I'm trying to figure out, I mean, personally, I guess, I guess the first thing, I guess, can you come back from it? Personally, I guess we'll just get right into it. Can you come back from the time can if something bothered you, where

you're like, Oh, this is just is utter disgusting. I can't I can't turn away. Could you come back from it? You think? Well, I'm an empathetic human being. I'm always growing or striving to grow and learn and forgive. And, and so yes, of course you can come back from an ick. We all have them. They're gender neutral guys, girls. Um, you know, doesn't matter who you are. You have some X. I'm sorry to break the news to you, but you have some X. But of course you can come back from them. Like personally, go ahead.

I'm sorry. No, it's okay. I just think and you know, I'm, I'm aware of some of my X. I'm aware of some X in general, um, some universal X, which we can do a little dive into, a deep dive into. But yeah, another thing I don't know, I'm self-aware, but it's almost good not to be too self-aware. I've learned over my four decades or so on this planet, because it's like, oh my God, this is a tangent.

If you're too self-aware, it can be a detriment to your ambition, especially if you're like one of the creative types. Anyways. I think for me, like, if you're out of it for me, if I've been on a date or I'm hanging out with somebody and they do something, it's just really hard to come back from that. And I have the tendency to call people out on their ex right off the bat. I'm like, can you not do that? I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing, but I don't really have a filter as many people know. And I

won't just sit there. For instance, if I was on a date and a girl did something which that bothered me, I'm going to come out and say this bothers me. I'm not going to finish the whole date and just not say anything because it just that's just not who I am. So I've had incidents like this where, you know, girls have done something that's maybe rubbed me the wrong way or this is just not right. And I've called them out. I really have. I've been like, is this normally what you do? Or is this normally how you act? You know, I mean. We all know you're a real.

What's that? What'd you say? Nothing, nothing, nothing. We know you shoot first, ask questions later. I do, but I don't really have the patience or I don't feel like, you know, to sit there and like waste people's time. I'd rather just call you out on it and be like listen this is

just not gonna work and this is like I can't come back from that I mean I think for the most part I probably could come back from it if they're like oh I didn't know you like didn't like that or whatever I probably could come back from it so anyway I googled the term I'm the Ick and this is what happened so the Ick was first coined by a contestant on the UK dating show Love Island and it later went viral right on tick tock So the exact definition of this word is a woman's sudden loss of attraction toward the man She's dating which is weird to me because why can't a man have the the Ick so no, it's a broad universal I feel like yeah

But um, yeah, I mean the definition just goes straight under But it just goes straight. It says a woman's why can't it say a man or woman and that's what that's weird to me I wouldn't so it's it's an it's an image that it's an it's an abrupt intense and often irreversible causing the woman I'm gonna say woman slash man to reevaluate the relationship I mean I definitely think men can get the ick by women too see that's you know but yeah I mean, I definitely think men can get the ick by women too. See that's you know, but yeah, I mean, I had no clue, you know, really that this term really originated from Love Island, but we actually make sense because Love Island so popular. So yeah, I'm sure it became huge when you basically say anything on that show, it goes

viral. So the great tidbit, I did not know that we can do a meta, we can do a meta. By the way, if you if if if it if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if

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if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if Yeah, I know and like you have to be a miserable human being to have that many eggs Like you have you have can't be like if person doesn't explore that person just is like, you know, I just feel like yeah You're right. Basically what you're saying is right. If you have that many then yeah, you're right. That's an it I mean one or two things that's come on. That's a fine, you know, sometimes people just don't like certain things but to have that many Yeah, that would be that would be an it, you know, so have that many. Yeah, that would be that would be an it, you know, so what about like, I like I like like universal, maybe we can start with like the general universal ones like gender. I'm going to get into it. I'm going to get into it. So, okay.

Let's get into it. By the way. So go ahead. You guys are wondering if you're looking at me, my outfit's giving you the I just got done working out. I didn't realize we're doing a visual component to this. So but first of all, everybody who knows you Tom knows how you dress at this point. You can't really, there's no like, there's everyone's just like, well, that's that's Tom. That's how he dresses. That's his thing. And that's what's one cool thing,

you know, about you is like, you can get away with dressing like that. And I'll see if I dress like that, people be like, what the what the hell are you doing? You can do that. You can go anywhere and people will be like, oh, that's cute. It doesn't really work for me. I mean, look how you dressed for the club. You had to change like three times.

You're like, is this okay? Is this okay? I'm like, I'm literally wearing like a button down and dress pants and a pea coat. And you came down in like sweatpants, I think some multicolored socks, a shirt that was literally crumpled up in your suitcase.

That is a complete perversion of the truth. Entertaining? Yes. Perversion of the truth, definitely. By the way, I've been making great strides in my fashion, my style in general. Shout out to the Solomon Sisters who have been my stylists for quite some time. We're on a break right now.

But yeah, I feel like I'm really up to my game in the past year. Toronto, not my best show. Not my best showing. And let me ask you this, I talk over you all the time. I apologize, I don't mean to do that. It's just because it's just who I am. I keep talking over you because I have so much I wanna say.

But let me ask you this do you think personally? Anybody has ever gotten the ick from you. I mean for sure What do you think if you were to get if you were to guess if you were to guess We don't have this you don't have to say any any relationship you've had over the last 20 years What do you do you have do you think someone's got the ick from you? Yes, okay. I'm not a no one mouth breather, but from time to time I get a little winded Okay

I don't want to dive do it deep dive into my former marriage, but I mean Katie are tight so I think she'd be okay with it, but yeah like there was also like I forget what the term is, but I used to kind of chew loud. Eating with your mouth open is a massive ick and I'm aware of it. I've put the kibosh on it. But like there was a time where we'd be in bed and and I'd be eating like a mouthful of carrots and I would get this look from you know who and it looked like she just wanted to fucking murder me. But yeah, chewing too loudly breathing too heavily. Um, I pride myself on my hygiene. I take really good care of myself. I have like 15 different clones but like every once in a while. Yeah, maybe I don't smell my best. Um, what else? Oh, well, I mean, listen, I don't know how deep you want to get here, but I think I don't

think I know I didn't used to be the best listener. I might have been guilty of just waiting to respond as opposed to like actively listening, you know, being a real fucking good listener and taking part in a conversation. A lot of men are like that to be honest. Yeah and then also like another ick just trying to like present solutions in the face of someone who's like really going through it emotional and upset and trying to be like overly logical is an ick. That's not a fun ick though. Whoa I don't want to do a deep dive. Yeah I mean you're doing like you're doing I'm like serious. Here's what I'm gonna say

girl with platform shoes. I can't handle that. Like I'm so surface. You're like deep diving. I'm like, well, if I went on a date and a girl was wearing platform shoes, I can't handle that. Like that would be gross. I'm starting you have to have you have to have cute feet. Like for me, I think everybody knows that. Like you have to have cute feet like for me I think everybody knows that like you have to and you can like I can't stand girls who wear platform shoes It just drives me nuts Wedges just crazy. I don't like it. I don't like it when a girl wears a wedge I know the girls love him and they I'm sure they're cute. But for me, it just drives me nuts. I don't like a wedge Yeah, it's such a surface thing compared to you. You're like you're like philosophical.

You're like getting into it. You're like her brain and this and that I'm like, I don't really like it. When girls are worse wedge. The yin and the yang of time. I know it's no by the way, I'm going to start. I was starting a little deeper, but we're going to get progressively more. Shad. No, I got I got a list.

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Your feet deserve a holiday too. I researched some of the top ick factors and you're really kind of going to be shocked by some of them. They're quite different in terms of the icks. In terms of the icks women get versus the icks men get. That makes more sense. Sorry. Okay.

So women get the ick from guys that have, and I wrote this down, okay, personal hygiene. That's a given. I think that's a given that goes both ways. You got to have good personal hygiene. I know this one is a big one for you Tom. They're rude to the waiter. Oh My god, you hate that. I've seen you I've seen you lose it before I've seen you lose it personally to people That are rude to waiters. I've seen you go off. So I know that's a big one for you I will I will publicly shame you if you are rude to a waiter. And also, like, I get the ick when people

complain about tipping. I know like tipping culture has gotten out of control. I don't know what the solution is. We all deserve a good living wage. But like, it is what it is for now. And when I go out with someone and they complain about having to tip, or they see how much I tipped and they're like that's too much. Don't tell me how much I should or shouldn't be tipping. First of all, minimum 20% even if the server is a complete asshole.

Maybe I'm part of the problem but it's like I know maybe you're I always give people the benefit of the doubt in the service industry. Maybe they had a really bad day. Maybe they just broke up with the love of their lives. You know, I try to give people the benefit of the doubt to a fault. Aka to you, Jack. Just kidding. I'm all about tipping too. And I'm overly generous. But I personally believe that the waiter has to earn the tip.

They have to go out of their way. They can't just be there and be just there and like expect a good tip. Like they have to work for it. You can't just I mean, that's just I think that's just a sign. I mean, for instance, OK, now, now, like you said before, everybody's asking for tips. I went to Subway the other day. I don't know if you notice this, everybody in the world, but a foot long sub is now twenty dollars. OK, a foot long is now twenty dollars at Subway. So now we like this is crazy already. So now they want me to tip on top of that. Mind you, we are at Subway.

Okay. What do you think about tipping McDonald's Subway? Do you think we should tip there at those places? Tip? No, Jax, that's a great counterpoint. I mean tipping culture. I'm not saying it's not a problem. It is, but you know what? But the entitlement, some waiters feel entitled.

They feel entitled to the 22 percent. And they think like you're an asshole if you don't give it to them, even if they don't earn it. I'm sorry. We're both in the industry. We've both been in this for a very long time. You know, sometimes I wasn't in a great mood and I didn't get a good tip, but I wouldn't bitch about it was my fault. I should have went above and beyond.

I think people should go above and beyond if they want the full tip and not more. I just do. I just do I just do Just to give money just to give money is Yeah, I don't I don't disagree I I'm taking my glasses off for dramatic effect because I'm kind of ashamed of this one It's more of a confessional to you Jax Okay There's one person I always gripe about tipping more than anybody else. And I totally understand their service and their utility. It's the bathroom attendant.

Like they, I get it. It creates more of a premium feel upscale. They keep the traffic flow going and it's nice. They have colognes, gum, but like sometimes I just want to take a pee, wash my hands myself and go out and I'm like, but you got to throw them at least a fiver. You don't feel like a dirt bag? And who has cash on them anyway? Is anybody carrying cash anymore to throw a fiber?

I'm not. I don't carry cash at all. And if I don't tip them, I'm going to feel like shit for at least 30 minutes afterwards. I know. So, man, they're so aggressive with those breath mints. Like, they're so sweet. They offer you something. You have to take it, but you can't take it just without some love. And anyways, I have I have love for all the bathroom attendants. I can't imagine the things you've smelled, the things you've seen. But sometimes I just

want to wash my hands. That was we can. That was a little tangent. So anyway, anyway, here's another one. Men who use three in one shampoos. I've been known to use these. Hey listen, when we were all broke, when we all had nothing, we were in college, we were growing up, we used the kind of the three in one shampoo slash Axe. I mean there was times where I had

four in one. It was a deodorant slash cologne slash shampoo conditioner. It kind of did it all. You know, I think Axe was a big deal in that and it kind of made, you know, guys be like, listen, a lot of guys are cheap. They don't want to spend all this money. And then when you when you go across the CBS or the Walgreens

and you see a three and one for four ninety nine and you're on a budget, I'm taking it. It's good to be mindful with your spending frugal, but being cheap is a no no. And yes, Jack, before I roast you, I will say you have a great clone shampoo collection. Now you're on a different level. But like back when I lived with you and used to shit with the door open every single day, you definitely were rocking a three in one shampoo conditioner, body deodorant. 100 percent. I was a huge Axe guy.

Big time on the Axe. I love no Ax love no axe axe had the three in one if you remember Axe was a three in one also used. Yeah. Yeah, I did the three one and I think There was another one like that. What's the dandruff one that they had the three and one two the one the white bottle Yeah, I was no hey when we knew you and Tom lived together Any way to cut a bar save a buck, I didn't care. I didn't care. I think I was borrowing Tom's razors at some point. I think I was using his bar soap. I mean, there was times where I was like, we don't have any freaking money.

Like, you know, like there was times where, you know, we ate once a day, for God's sake. So, you're 100 percent right. We were do we were we can do a whole episode on that, by the way. I know. I know. And then next time we do one were we can do a whole episode on that by the way. I know I know Next time we do one we can do a deep dive into the early days when we were all living together But like yeah, I appreciate your redirect, but you can't just gloss over the fact that you used to shit with the door open That's a massive X. First of all, it's not in those days. Do you remember when I was doing that? We didn't have our phones. We didn't we didn't really bring our phones with us to the bathroom You know because those are the Blackberry days when I was doing that, we didn't have our phones. We didn't we didn't really bring our phones with us to the bathroom, you know,

because those are the Blackberry days. I really wasn't going talking. So I needed to talk to somebody while I was going to the bathroom. There's only so many magazines and shampoo bottles I can read. Now I want to talk. Actually, I think I got to I got to move on. I got to move on. So a girl, a man who talks about their ex too much. That's a Nick. That that is an ick.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's definitely, I mean, yeah, I've been guilty. We've probably all been guilty. I've been guilty of doing that. I've been guilty of doing that. Second date or when you're getting to know someone, if you've let your ex consume 80% of the conversation, even though it's relatable.

You might as well just walk away. I mean, yeah, man, honestly, you might as well away. They're constantly on their phone slash bragging about themselves. Yeah, well, that's brought being on your phone is a big one, especially today. I think back in the day when we were dating, it wasn't really a big deal. But today, it's a big deal. Today's a big deal. I mean, I think in the beginning days, like when we were dating, like I said, when me and Tom lived together, we were really never on our phones in those days. But now you're on a date. I feel like if you go to the bathroom or something, that's an instant time to check your phone. If you're not

away, you're checking your phone. Or if a guy says, Hey, do you mind if I check my phone? Like for me, for instance, I have a, I have not dating now, But if I was to go on a date, I need to check my phone to make sure that, you know, and I have a child now. So I always have to check my phone to make sure something like that. That's fine. And if you say it like a disclaimer in the beginning, hey, just to let you know, if I get on my phone, it's just because I need to check in my son or something like that, like that's fine. But if you're on it constantly and checking Instagram scrolling, yeah, that's a problem. Just think it kind of kind of passive aggressively almost like in a disinterested, couldn't I can't be bothered sort of way? No, but like you're

gonna be on your phone a lot. Just be self aware about it. Acknowledge it. You know, this is yeah, yeah, this, this is a huge one for me. And I cannot in fact, we had this problem. I think it's because we sat economy. But this is a really, really big thing for me is when people clap, when we land and when people talk loud on the plane or slash in an elevator, like nobody wants to hear your fucking conversation, nobody. And when you're on a plane and you're talking on the phone, like that is like,

oh, I like it makes me embarrassed. Like, I'm so embarrassed when people are talking in an elevator or they're talking on a phone, like that is like, it makes me embarrassed. Like I'm so embarrassed when people are talking in an elevator or they're talking on a plane. Like I cannot handle it. No, it's, it grates on my nerves for sure. I can't, like I get embarrassed for them doing it. They'll be talking about like, like for instance, this girl was talking about,

I can't wait to land in LA and get a 7-Eleven hot dog and she's yelling across the whole plane. And I was just like, oh, my God, shut up, like, shut up. It was so like I'm looking around. I get embarrassed for other people do stupid things. So it really, really embarrassed me. OK, I got oh, here's a big one. A lot of girls have this and I'm calling out the ladies and I'm going to call

because, well, I dated pretty much every girl I've been with had this issue. A messy car, a messy car a messy car That's a good one. That is a good one It's a it's a massive. Listen, not even in a sexual way, but it's just a turn-off and I don't like to slippery slope people Maybe they're going through a depressive state But like you see someone with a filthy car with like Arby's cups Maybe like some Doritos or like a Cheeto

down in the side there, besides the seats. A fossilized French fry from McDonald's from 10 years ago. Like I'm going to, again, I'm going to give them some grace. Maybe they're struggling, but like it's hard not to extrapolate and be like, this person does not have their shit together. You know, like I'm going to lift up their toilet seat and there's gonna be shit spackled all over it. That's, that's. Okay.

So first of all, with the car, like when you see a girl's car like this, now here's the thing, I'm gonna give a little bit of a break in LA because I know in LA you have 25 different things going on. You have auditions, you gotta go right to your restaurant. You gotta go back, you don't have time to go home. So you kind of live out of your car, more or less, but going to a girl's Honda Accord. Okay. And opening that

door and you see that mess, it kind of sets the, like the precedent of like, is this what your life is like? Is this what you are? Are you this unorganized? Why do you have a hundred? Why are you 35 and you still have your high school graduation dangling from the rear of your mirror like that? Why like? Like we get it you graduated high school You're 35 years old and you know like there's just certain things that they drive me crazy like stuff everywhere makeup everywhere shoes and wedges all over the car clothes your eight your apron from You know from Outback Steakhouse has been, it's crusty in the back seat. You got leftovers underneath your seat from three days ago, like, oh, it's gross.

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Every style, every home. wayfair.com, w-a-y-f-a-i-r, wayfair.com. Every style, every home. This is a universal ick, but like after working in the bar business, you Jax, you have a bar now, and just being hosting, being talking to people, riffing about life, five years. And by the way, I love drunk people. They don't bother me. I don't mind clingy people, but I swear there's a direct correlation between how bad people's breath is

and how close they can be when they're talking to you. They wanna be up in your ear, like you can feel the hotness and the stink of their breath on your face. And it happens. And we get it a lot, we get a lot you and I because obviously people are coming up to us and talking to us and asking questions and pictures and stuff. And they want to tell us their life story. And it's always those people with the breath that's

so hot. And like you know like spits coming out and it's just like, oh, like you feel it. Like you said, you feel it like you almost want to go take a shower right after you talk to them You guys I'm not gonna make this a pity party But like just yeah one of the one of the pitfalls of being in this industry in the past five years I think I've had kovat like 37 times Just from being so close to people coughing on me and sneezing on me by the way, I still love you It happens. No, it happens. I get get it but be a little bit self-aware what bothers me is their friends don't tell them how did nobody how did you go through this whole time in life and not one of your

friends had told you how many times have I told you Tom or you told me dude yeah no you stay at you go you go take a shower your breath smells you can't I I would never not tell you that because I'm with you the last thing I want is hanging out with somebody who's breath fucking Stink so I would call you out on it It just shocks me how many girls their girlfriends don't tell them that they either have body odor or their breastaches Why Jack? How did you go? How did you get along? How did you go through life this long and nobody's told you this? Well, they could just be having a bad day we all have I mean, how do you not smell there's some people you just

How do you not smell on yourself? Anyway, the next one is and this one is like, I feel like people are going back to this now and yes, in my younger days, this was an ick. People that live with their parents. Now, I don't know if you've seen on social media. Obviously, things are out of control with inflation. Things are costing a fortune nowadays. A lot of people are moving back in with their

families. Would that bother you? Was that an ick? I mean, for me, if a girl lives with her mom and dad, I don't think that's a problem. If a man lives with his mom and dad, that's a problem. I listen, I think at this point to say, in this economy is almost like, fucking trite or whatever. But I mean, I get it like, dude, I'm like, as I get older, I'm so much more empathetic and understanding, compassionate. I know that's boring take such a lukewarm take. But I don't think it is. I'm if any girl I've met right now, if I was to go on a date right now, and she lived with her mom and dad, I

would be okay with that, dude, I know how expensive it is to live here. It's cost a frickin fortune. But in my in my opinion, I don't think a man should live with his family. That's just me at our age. Unless listen, if you're super successful, if a failure to launch scenario, I love that movie McConaughey, it's pretty cute. But like, no, it's usually not a good look. And I think it's a turnoff for universally for most women. But if you're taking care of your sickly mother or father. Yes. Or you had a successful business and all of a sudden it failed and you're working on getting back up again. This is kind of just maybe a stepping stone to get to

other things. Basically I'm just saying if you're just doing it just to do it. Like I'm living there, I'm not really trying to go anywhere. If like, you know, you had a job issue You lost your job or whatever and you're in transition. I can deal with that as a guy I can deal with that Why I like that. I like the way you ended that Jax. I got one for you. I know you got all this I Got one for you. This is gonna cut deep. Okay, okay. You ready? Oh my god. I'm nervous Okay, Jax and by the way, fuck the grammar police, defund the grammar police, but like, I do get the ick when people don't know the difference between T-O to T-O-O

and T-W-O. You're, you're, you're. I do know it, but sometimes, here's the thing, I have huge hands and I type fast, and sometimes the information comes out faster than I my brain can process. Do I do this? Yes, we all know about the boys chat. Okay.

Everybody tells me that they have to decode my messages because majority of the time they don't make any sense. That's because I'm always in a hurry because I know you're talking to me about this. Okay. Not only do that do I have big hands. Okay, so I don't capitalize my eyes. I've run I have run on sentences. I don't give hands, okay? So I don't capitalize my eyes. I have run on sentences. I don't give a shit, okay?

I don't care. I know what you're, you know what I'm thinking. You know what I'm saying. So I got lazy with it. Quick lesson. T-O-O. I know what two stands for and I know the number two. It means it's an adverb, meaning as well or in excess.

Just remember when there's an extra O, it's extra. I know that. I just type fast and like I don't care. Like you know what I'm saying. You can decode it. By this time you know what I'm saying. Okay. But thank you grammar police.

I am bad about that. You're right. You're right. I don't even capitalize my eyes when I say, hey, I'm doing this. It's just a lower case. Like I don't understand. I get lazy. Our phones, I'm doing this. It's just a lower case. I don't understand I get lazy our phones make us so damn lazy. They really really do Okay

Yeah, I'm gonna go to men now men get the ick towards women that are well have rude demeaning attitudes. That's a given. Yeah Personal yeah, that's universal the lack of independence that The women women who have lack of independence and don't have their own hobbies. Yeah. That's one. Yeah, that's a good one, that's a good one. Now what if you were dating somebody

and they don't have close girlfriends? Like they don't have like their own thing going on, they're kind of leeching onto you right away. Would that be an ick? For me, it does, yes. All right, it be an ick? For me, it does. Yes. It is an ick. If someone's overly clingy or smothers you, which by the way, I've been on both sides of the coin. Me too. I've been clingy. And I know. But yeah, it's man. It's such a bad feeling. It bothered me when they were clingy. But then it bothered me when they like they wouldn't

show me a lot of attention. It was it went both ways for me. me like I was like wow she's girl hasn't called me in a week But then again, I'm like god damn it this girl calls me every single day like I've been in both both ends of it I feel like there's got to be a happy medium somewhere the lack Sorry, they lack clear and effective communication skills. That's a huge one Well, I'll say that I was reading as I was reading I was on the treadmill early going through some'll say that I was reading, I was reading, I was on the treadmill earlier, going through some X and someone,

I was reading some more specific niche ones and someone said, when a guy can't find his words or jumbles his words and he's just like, oh, I can't talk today. And I was like, oh, that one hurt. That felt personal because I have those moments after hosting at the bar for like three, four, five hours, being hyper socialized, I'll come home and I can't string together one more sentence.

But I do kind of agree is a little bit of an ick. Maybe one of my icks that I ick. I mean, I've seen you and I talked to you many times and you are watching happens live. You and I have been on there many times. 90% of the time when you talk, I don't know what words you use. You use really big words, you use them correctly, but I don't know what the fuck you're saying half the time. I'm saying you're an intelligent guy and you know, you use big words and I just always like just nod my head. I'm like, cause I know what you're saying.

So I, but I get it. You know, I've gotten into both times where we've been out and we're just like maybe after a few cocktails, you're like, I just can't put a sentence together right now. And you're trying to sound intelligent, but you can't, you know, or if you're nervous, especially when you and I do a lot of interviews, you know, and we got to talk about certain topics and we can't form a sentence and you want to say something and then usually when the interviews right over, you're like, damn, and I should have said it like this. That's that's annoying. I guess men men who speak poorly about other women.

That's a yeah. And also, I would have loved to pull your listeners to hear like words that men use to describe female anatomy that give them the egg that would have been a green yeah I refer to like a vagina as a puss I hate that word I hate that word like I've used the word like hey you're being a pussy but I don't like it too I don't want it to be associated with the female part like I just unless it's like a real I mean you got to be like in a real intimate moment and you're having fun and you're getting real dirty fine but but I just don't like that word. I just don't like it to use like that.

Like we use the word pussy as like, man, your buddies out there. I'm like, Oh man, don't be a pussy. Like I say it that way, but I don't mean it in the vagina sense of it. Do you know what I'm saying? I mean, it as in like, yeah, no, I totally get it. And also like, I don't care how wealthy, how successful you are. I don't care what empire you've built. If you're a dude, a bro, a man, and you're out describing women or potential mates as talent,

unironically, unironically referring to women as talent, you are a douchebag. Yes. Sorry, man. You're a dork too. You're a fund. We know a couple guys who talk like that. We We don't know People don't I rock with a self-awareness, which it makes it funny You know what I mean? But when people use it on ironically and like earnestly, it's like bro, come on No And everybody I know that uses that or has used that are still single and can't find a girl for the life of them Like so the people that use it you can tell they use that word there. You know, they you

the reason why you're single. The reason why you're a loser is because you refer to the word word. You use the word talent when you describe it. I hate that. You're right. That's another one. You're right. I'm on real quick. Ten second obvious one. People who don't like animals, people who don't pet my dog when they come in the door. Jax, you did that the other day. I know. I know. I love dogs. I do. I love them. I've had two of them. Don't get me wrong. I love them. I just they come up to me. I'm going to pet them. I'm just not like a dog animal. We talked about this the other day. I'm thinking about getting a fish for Cruz because he had a fish and it passed away. He's got two dogs. I was thinking about getting a fish. I'm just not an animal guy. I'm just not.

Oh, no, I like animals. Don't get me wrong. I would never hurt an animal or do anything. I'm just not the kind of guy that has a dog. I'm too much. I'm too busy to be able to take care of one. And I don't think that's I just think that's good. I don't want to have a dog and neglect it, you know, so I'd rather just not Not have a dog rather. I don't mind dogs. But yes, I have been guilty not to pet your dogs and I'm sorry Okay, I like this awful this one here this one this one here's a big bugaboo for you I know that dramatic arguing and picking fights. Oh Well, I think we both dealt with that Oh, I think we both dealt with that. Well, it depends.

It depends. Sometimes it's valid. But like, listen, if I'm on vacation, first, that's OK. One of my top five X getting mad on a vacation. I just there's not many reasons in the world I can I can see to get mad on a vacation. And also, like if and maybe I've been guilty of this, too. But like, I don't know if I should say this one it might be controversial but like having experienced this a lot letting

someone who can't figure out what they want to wear sabotage an entire night or make you an hour and a half two hours late I get it sometimes you just don't feel sexy you don't feel good in your own skin and you don't want to go out. There's like there's some deeper rooted issues. But like if you have plans, it's been in the books for a month and the night of you cannot decide on an outfit. You're an hour and a half late and you're crying. I'm going to be sweet though. But like get your shit together, man. I'm going to get that one. like, it's not that cheap. Throw on a hoodie and a hat and call it a day.

One of my favorite things to say, and I said this so many times, and believe it or not, I don't know why in the world, but people do ask my advice. When I do my cameos, one of the biggest things people ask me is like, do you have any wedding advice? I'm like, first of all, I have the last person that should give any marriage advice, any wedding advice. But what I do, jokingly, I always say, pick and choose your battles, pick and choose your bet.

Is it worth it? When you think about it, is it really worth it to have this argument? Is it worth it? Is it something that's gonna, you know, this is gonna offset my day? Or is this something that like I need to talk about right now? I really pick and choose your belt. I don't know how many fights I've had with, you know, with, you know, people that I've dated where I'm like, this fight is just not worth it.

Can't we just chalk it up as a as a loss either way? I just can't like why are we arguing about this? Why are we ruining our day over something so silly? That bothers me. Yeah, I feel that in my soul. But that being said, after having been, you know, married and married, able great relationships, sometimes you just gotta let people feel their feelings.

They just want to vent. They just want to get it out. They know it's obnoxious. They're aware, but they just have to get it out. It's like some sort of catharsis. They don't want any solutions like we talked about earlier. They just want you to maybe hug them and nod and be like, I get it. Or just listen and shut the fuck up. But dude, by the way, I felt what you said

deep in my soul, just unnecessary fights. I don't know. I guess the big question is here, is can the ick be reversed? Can you get the ick for someone, but then un-ick yourself? Can you really get the full attraction back? So if you got the ick, we're just gonna sum this up here, you got the attraction back. So if you got the we're just going to sum this up here.

You got the can it come back? Can you on the for me personally? I'm going to answer this. I can. Yes, depending on what it is. Well, I let's get more specific here. Let's get a specific hypothetical. And this is a universal one. I was thinking about this earlier actually.

Seeing someone pick their nose in public and this usually, if it's your significant other, who cares the love of your life, but if it's someone you have a crush on, it's like your dream person. I don't know like fucking Beyonce, I don't know, fucking Harry Styles, Jacob Elordi, I don't know, Zendaya. If you see something like if you're madly in love and you see them pick their nose in public, it doesn't matter how.

Can we use mine? Sidney Sweeney. Sidney Sweeney. All right. And okay, you see Sidney, but by the way, this is just a temporary ick, okay? You're not gonna like deter you from ever pursuing someone you're interested in.

We all pick our- I don't think she could ever give me the ick, but go ahead. No, no, that's it. I was just to say that you're Jack. All right. You listen. You're at John and Vinny's in the valley, the new location. And you look to your left and it's Sydney Sweeney. You're trying to play it cool. She's sipping a nice cold glass of Sauvignon Blanc. And then the next time you look over she's just digging for gold way up there where you have to go where you have to make your like this to get deeper. I if it was anybody else probably but her oh no I would ask if she needs help.

Do you need a hand like can I get it unlocked you know, locked new fetish unlocked? Oh, I mean, I don't. Yeah, for her. No. Anybody else? Yeah, that would be a little gross. Yeah, I don't think I could come back from that. That was a silly one. But I just I just a universal it just popped in my head. Yeah. But no, of course you can recover from X, man. I mean, especially if it's your partner, like, you know, if you communicate with each other and say, hey, listen, it bothers me that you wear socks with sandals. It bothers me that, you know, whatever you wear this all the time and, and you never dress up for this and you look like a slouch.

I mean, I guess if you can communicate with each other and say, okay, let's try to fix this, you know, and, and you're comfortable enough. And then again, this is when you're in a relationship. I think I think you can come back from that. And I like for me, if something bothered, you know, my significant other and I'd be like, OK, I'll fix that for sure. Like I want to make you happy. I don't want you to look at me grossed out when we're at an event.

You know, yes, but I'm pretty self aware. I think I'm pretty self aware of when I give off X, I think for the most part. I think I'm pretty self-aware of when I give off X I think for the most part. I don't know. Maybe not. I had a Specific one just popped in my head when you said that that I saw I don't know what the website was But I was I was really laughing about like very specific niche ones and one girl said when a guy Wears a backpack and more specifically when I see a guy running with the back where's a backpack and more specifically when I see a guy running with a backpack first of all I laughed second of all I was like offended because they what what the fuck do you expect me to wear when I'm traveling in the airport you want me

to wear a fucking satchel I'm not okay like tell me I want it I want people to tell me what you're supposed to wear when you're traveling overseas I think or like maybe it's not like I'm rocking a backpack to go to freaking on a Starbucks run, but like, there's part of me that gets it. But like, I love my backpack. Jax, you got me that great backpack. I know you've been using that backpack for years. It's a to me, dude. It's custom to me with your name on it. You rock it. Like I said, you that's a dumb thing because if you're in an airport, what's wrong with it? It's not like it's a school bag. Jan sport. Okay. You're not you're not rocking a gym sport. You're rocking it to me. Travel bag. You're

not. We all we both know who used to do that. He's the rock the gym sport in the apartment to stomp around. I'm sorry, Doty. I'm going to I'm going to call it Doty on that one. Doty used to rock the Jan sport to go crazy with that thing. But you know, like I said, it's a designer, it's luggage, it's whatever we're traveling. I've never seen you wear it other than when we travel. And I think that's silly to say that. Like I said, it's a designer bag. It's not a back school backpack. Um, I got this is just a side question I was thinking about. Like I'm trying to obviously, I think people know that I'm going through, you know, a a pretty I don't want to say messy but I'm going through

a pretty in-depth divorce and you know and I know you are obviously you've been there and you're way way past it and I just got a question like for me this I mean this is what I want is it healthy to stay in a relationship with an ex do you think it's healthy you need mean to maintain a friendship? To maintain a friendship. I feel like is it is it healthy to do that or is it or do you think you should just cut it off completely? I think I can't I personally can't do that because I have kids. I have a kid so I can't do that. But for you, do you think I know you're I know your character and you are like you want to be you're a good person and your friends with all your exes. But do you think I know you're I know your character and you are like you want to be you're a good person and your friends with

All your exes, but do you think it's important to do that? Or do you think it should be just cut off? Um, I I mean it's such a lame answer, but of course it depends it depends how amicable the separation was I think off sorry You there? I think it yeah, can you hear me? Yeah, I Think you know, can I just tell you my answer? I think if you can get to that point where this is where I want to get to, and if you can have like, if you could be mature about it, you know, especially if you have kids. And I think if you can establish a boundary knowing that it could never go any further,

it can never have a one night where let's hook up. If you can establish that right off the get go, I think you can do it. You know? Yeah. And I think I think a lot of people who try to stay in relationships for the wrong reasons such as being scared of being alone. That's a bad reason to, you know, stay with your ex personally. That's what I think. And I think a lot of guys are scared of being alone. I think a lot of women are scared of being alone. That's why they try to maintain their front unhealthy, you know, relationship. So unfortunately, guys, I'm sorry, we had a little bit of technical difficulties with the internet. But I just want to say thank you guys so much for listening

into in the mind of a man. I hope you guys learned a little bit and about the IC. I can't wait to, you know, come back next weekend. Thank you, Tom Schwartz, for coming on. I really, really appreciate it, and we'll see you guys next week. MUSIC