When Reality Hits with Jax and Brittany - ITMOAM: The ICK EDITION w/ Tom Schwartz

Episode Date: December 19, 2024

VPR Legend and friend of the pod TOM SCHWARTZ joins Jax to talk all things ICK!! Check out our holiday deals!! G-Defy: Need comfy shoes for parent life? Head to GDEFY.com and use code REALITYHITS for 50% off your entire order! Wayfair: Set the scene for new holiday memories! Head to Wayfair.com RIGHT NOW to get your home holiday ready! See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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please contact Connix Ontario at 1866-531-2600 to speak to an advisor free of charge. BetMGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with Eye Gaming Ontario. All right, welcome back to when reality hits with Jacks. In the Mind of a Man, we're back. And today we're talking about all about the it. So what's up, everybody? I'm sitting here with the one and only, my boy, Tom Schwartz. So we recently just got back from an awesome, awesome weekend in Toronto.

Tom, how many times have we literally been in Toronto slash Canada, you know, in the past few months? Geez, I think we, I mean, I feel like we're honorary citizens at this point. I feel like we're in Canada more than we're even here. No, I mean, I feel like I'm bleeding maple syrup now. I feel like it's our, you know, it's our second home at this point, you know? So, I mean, everybody was just obviously every single time we go there, everybody is just so welcoming. Everybody goes out of their way just to be so nice that people in Canada are just so amazing. I got to do a bucket list of mine.

I got to go to Scotia Bank. I got to go to a Leafs game. And not only that, the Leafs were playing the Detroit Reddings, which is my home team. Like I said, it was a big, big bucket list for me. And, you know, thank you to, you know, the PR over there and for having us, you know. And the main reason why we're there is we went to a club. We had an appearance at a place called Early Mercy. And again, the people and the team over there were amazing.

We met so many great people, got to take pictures with lots of fans. And we can't wait to go back out there. Actually, I'm really excited to go back out there in the summertime because they have so many cool places out there in the summer. They had this place called Cabana, which I was there. you know, previously, and we had a lot of fun. So hopefully Tom can come with me on that next one. But anyway, so to get started here, you know, the reason I had Tom come on this podcast is because while we were traveling together this weekend, we had a lot of funny, funny

conversations. So we came across this new term called, well, it's not new, but it's new to me. It's called The I It's Another Term that I got from one of my favorite shows. Nobody Wants This, Right? And it's kind of, you know, it's kind of. of described as, I guess, utter disgust. You know, every time, I feel like every time I say it, I kind of laugh at it. It's like, and basically, and my main question is, which we're going to get into in a minute,

is like, can you come back from the ick? And also, Jacks, let's address a potential elephant in the room. You guys, some of our listeners might be thinking two 40-year-olds doing a podcast about the icks might in itself be an ick. But this is like novel to me. This is novel to us. I've never done a deep dive into X. I'm very familiar of turnoffs and things that can make you think differently about another human being, you know.

But like I've never done a deep dive really indulged in the X. So I'm kind of looking forward to this, you know? You know, the last couple podcasts that I've done, I've gone over these terms that are just so new. But I mean, obviously people have been doing them for years. But now there's actually terms for them. Like I said in the previous podcast, I was doing breadcoming, gas. all that stuff. And so now this is a new one.

And I'm trying to figure out, I mean, person, I guess, I guess the first thing, I guess can you come back from it? I guess we'll just get right into it. Can you come back from the ick, Tom? If something bothered you where you're like, oh, this just is utter disgusting, I can't, I can't turn away. Could you come back from it, do you think? Well, I'm an empathetic human being.

I'm always growing or striving to grow and learn and forgive. and so yes, of course you can come back from an ick. We all have them. They're gender neutral guys, girls. You know, it doesn't matter who you are. You have some icks. I'm sorry to break the news to you, but you have some icks. But of course you can come back from them.

Like for me personally, go ahead. I'm sorry. No, it's okay. I just think, and, you know, I'm aware of some of my ex. I'm aware of some icks in general, some universal icks, which we can do a little dive into, a deep dive into. But, yeah, another thing I don't know, I'm self-aware, but it's almost good not to be too self-aware.

I've learned over my four decades or so on this planet because it's like, oh, my God, this is a tangent. If you're too self-aware, it can be a detriment to your ambition, especially if you're like one of the creative types. But anyways. I think for me, like, if you're out of, for me, if I've been on a date or I'm hanging out with somebody and they do something, it's just really,

hard to come back from that. And I have the tendency to call people out on their icks right off the bat. I'm like, can you not do that? I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing, but I don't really have a filter, as many people know. And I won't just sit there. For instance, if I was on a date and a girl did something which that bothered me, I'm going to come out and say, this bothers me. I'm not going to finish the whole date and just not say anything because that's just not who I am. So I've had incidences like this where, you know, girls have done something that's maybe rubbed me the wrong way or this is just not right. And I've called a, I'm out. I really have. I'm like, is this normally for what you do or is this normally how you act?

You know, I mean, I mean, I. What's that? What'd you say? Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. We know we know you shoot first, ask questions later. I do, but I don't really have the patience or I don't feel like, you know, to sit there and like waste people's time. I'd rather just call you out on it and be like, listen, this is just not going to work. And this is like, I can't come back from that. I mean, I think for the most part, I probably could come back from it. If they're like, oh, I didn't know you let, didn't like that or whatever. I probably could come back from it. So anyway, I googled the term I'm the Ick. And this is what happened. So the Ick was first coined by a contestant on the UK dating show, Love Island. And it later went viral, right, on TikTok. So the exact definition of this word is a woman's sudden loss of attraction toward the man she's dating, which is weird to me because why can't a man have the, the I think it's an abrupt. I feel like, yeah. So we use different terms.

But, yeah. I mean, the definition just goes straight. But it just goes straight. It says a woman. Why can it say a man or woman? That's what, that's weird to me. I wouldn't know. So it's an, it's an abrupt, intense, and often irreversible causing the woman, I'm going to say

woman slash man to reevaluate the relationship. I mean, I definitely think men can get the ick by women too. See, that's, you know. But yeah, I mean, I had no clue, you know, really that this term really originated. from Love Island, but it actually makes sense because Love Island's so popular. So yeah, I'm sure it became huge when you basically say anything on that show it goes viral. So, um, that's a great tidbit. I did not know that.

We can do a meta. We can do a meta, Ick. By the way, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, it's, if you're using the word ick three, four times a week, if you have a go-to list of icks in your notes, that's like 30 things long. I mean, that in itself is an ick. Yeah, I know.

And like, you have to be a miserable human being to have that many icks. Like, you have, you have, can't be like, if a person doesn't explore, that person just is like, you know, I just feel like, yeah, you're right. Basically, what you're saying is right. If you have that many, then yeah, you're right. That's an it. I mean, one or two things, that's, come on.

that's a fine. You know, sometimes people just don't like certain things. But to have that many, yeah, that would be, that would be an it, you know, so. What about, like, I like, I like, I like universal. Maybe we can start with, like, the general universal ones, like gender. Well, I'm going to get into it. I'm going to get into it. So, okay. Let's get into it. By the way, so, go ahead. You guys are wondering, if you're looking at me, my outfit's giving you the ick, I just got done working out. I did realize we're doing a visual component to this. But first of all, everybody who knows you, Tom, knows how you dress at this point. You can't really.

There's no like, everyone's just like, well, that's, that's Tom. That's how he dresses. That's his thing. And that's one cool thing about you is like, you can get away with dressing like that. And I'll see, if I dress like that, people will be like, what the hell are you doing? You can do that. You can go anywhere and people will be like, oh, that's cute. It doesn't really work for me.

I mean, look how you dressed for the club. You had to change like three times. You're like, is this okay? Is this okay? I'm like, I'm literally wearing like a button down in dress pants and a peat coat. And you came down in like sweatpants, I think some multi-colored socks. That is a shirt that hasn't, a shirt that was literally crumpled up in your suitcase. That is a complete perversion of the truth.

Entertaining. Yes. Perversion of the truth, definitely. By the way, I've been making great strides in my, I think my fashion, my style in general. I shout out to the Solomon sisters who have been my style. for quite some time. We're on a break right now. But yeah, I feel like I've really up to my game in the past year.

Toronto, not my best show. Not my best showing. Let me ask you this. I talk over you all the time. I apologize. I don't mean to do that. It's just because it's just who I am. I keep talking over you because I have so much I want to say.

But let me ask you this. Do you think personally anybody has ever gotten the ick from you? I mean. For sure. What do you think? If you were to guess, if you were to guess, you don't have to, you don't have to say, any relationship you've had over the last 20 years.

What do you have, do you think someone's got the ick from you? Yes. Okay. I'm not a no one mouth breather, but from time to time. I get a little winded. Okay. I don't want to dive, do a deep dive into my former marriage, but me and Katie are tight.

So I think she'd be okay with it. But yeah, like there was also like, I forget what the term is, but. I used to kind of chew loud. Eating with your mouth open is a massive ick, and I'm aware of it. I've put the kibosh on it. But like,

there was a time where we'd be in bed and I'd be eating like a mouthful of carrots. And I would get this look from, you know who. And it looked like she just wanted to fucking murder me. But, yeah, chewing too loudly, breathing too heavily. I pride myself on my hygiene. I take really good care of myself.

I have like 15 different colognes, but like every once in a while, yeah, maybe I don't smell my best. What else? Oh, well, I mean, listen, I don't know how deep you want to get here, but I think, I don't think I know I didn't used to be the best listener.

I might have been guilty of just waiting to respond as opposed to like actively listening, you know, being a real fucking good listener and taking part in a conversation. I think a lot of men are like that I'm honest Yeah and then also like Another ick

Just just just just trying to like Present solutions In the face of someone who's like really going through it Emotional and upset And trying to be like overly logical Is an ick? That's not a fun egg though I don't want to do a deep dive

I mean you're doing like you're doing I'm like serious Here's what I'm gonna say A girl wears platform shoes I can't handle that Like I'm so surfaced You're like deep dive I'm like, well, if I went on a date and a girl was wearing platform shoes, I can't handle that.

Like that would be gross. I'm starting to have, you have to have cute feet. Like, for me, I think everybody knows that. Like, you have to, and like, I can't stand girls who wear platform shoes. It just drives me nuts. Wedges. It drives me crazy. I don't like it.

I don't like it when a girl wears a wedge. I know the girls love them and they, I'm sure they're cute. But for me, it just drives me nuts. I don't like a wedge. Yeah. And it's such a surface thing. compared to you. You're like, you're like philosophical. You're like getting into it. You're like her brain and this and that. I'm like, I don't really like it when a girls are wears a wedge.

The ying and the yang of Tom and Jackson. No, no, no. By the way, I'm going to start, I was starting a little deeper, but we're going to get progressively more shallow. Yeah, no, I got, I got a list. I got a list. I researched some of the top ick factors. And you're really kind of going to be shocked by some of them. They're quite different in terms of the icks. In terms of the icks women get versus the ex men get. That makes more sense. Sorry. Okay. So women get the ick from guys. that have. And I wrote this down. Okay. Personal hygiene. That's a given. I think that's a given that goes both ways.

You got to have good personal hygiene. I know this one is a big one for you, Tom. They're rude to the waiter. Oh my God. You hate that. I've seen you lose it before. I've seen you lose it personally to people that are rude to waiters. Like, I've seen you go off. So I know that's a big one for you. I will publicly shame you if you are rude to a waiter. And also, I get the ick when people complain about tipping.

I know like tipping culture has gotten out of control. I don't know what the solution is. We all deserve a good living wage. But like it is what it is for now. And when I go out with someone and they complain about having to tip or they see how much I tipped and like that's too much, don't tell me how much I should or shouldn't be tipping. First of all, minimum 20%, even if the server is a complete asshole. Maybe I'm part of the problem.

but it's like I know maybe you're I always give people the benefit the doubt in the service industry maybe they had a really bad day maybe they just broke up with the love of their lives you know I try to give people the benefit of the doubt to a fault aka to you jacks just kidding um um hey no I'm all about tipping too and I'm I'm overly generous but I personally to believe that the waiter has to earn the tip they have to go out of their way they can't just be there and be just there and like expect a good tip like they have to to work for it. You can't just, I mean, that's just, I think that's just a side. I mean, for instance, okay, now, now, like you said before, everybody's asking for tips. I went to Subway the other day. I don't know if you noticed this to everybody in the world, but a foot long sub is now $20. Okay? A foot long is now $20 at Subway. So now we, like, this is crazy already. So now they want me to tip on top of that. Mind you where you are at Subway. Okay, what do you think about tipping McDonald's Subway? Do you think we should tip there at those places?

No, Jackson, that's a great counterpoint. I mean, tipping culture. I'm not saying it's not a problem. It is, but, you know, when I'm going to fall. Some waiters feel entitled. They feel entitled to the 22% and they think like you're an asshole if you don't give it to them, even if they don't earn it. I'm sorry, we're both in the industry. We've both been in the industry for a very long time.

You know, sometimes I wasn't in a great mood and I didn't get a good tip, but I wouldn't bitch about it. It was my fault. I should have went above and beyond. I think people should go above and beyond if they want the full tip and not my. more. I just do. I just do. Just to give money, just to give money is. I don't disagree. I'm taking my glasses off for dramatic effect because I'm kind of ashamed of this one. It's more of a confessional to you, Jacks. Okay. There's one person I always gripe about tipping more than anybody else. And I totally understand their service and their

utility. It's the bathroom attendant. Like, they, I get it. It creates more of a premium feel, upscale. They keep the traffic flow going. And it's nice. They have colognes, gum. But like, sometimes I just want to take a pee, wash my hands myself, and go out. And I'm like, but you've got to throw them at least a fiver. So you don't feel like a fiver. Is anybody carrying cash anymore to throw a fiver? I'm not. I don't carry cash at all. And if I don't tip them, I'm going to feel like shit for at least 30 minutes afterwards. I know. Man, they're so aggressive with those breathments. Like, they're so sweet. They offer you something. You have to take it, but you can't take it just without, you know, some love. And anyways, I have love for all the bathroom attendants. I can't imagine the things you've smelled, the things you've seen.

But sometimes I just want to wash my hands. That was, we can, that was a little tangent. So anyway, anyway, here's another one. Men who use three and one shampoos. I've been known to use these. I've been known to, hey, listen, will we, all broke when we all had nothing we were in college we were growing up we used the kind of the three and one shampoo slash axe i mean there was times where i had four in one it was a deodorant slash

cologne slash shampoo conditioner it kind of did it all you know i think ax was a big deal in that and it kind of made you know guys be like listen a lot of guys are cheap they don't want to spend all this money and then when you when you go across the cbs or the walgreens and you see a three and one for four 99 and you're on a budget, I'm taking it. It's good to be mindful with your spending frugal, but being cheap is a no-no. And yes, Jack, before I roast you, I will say you have a great clone shampoo collection. Now you're on a different level. But, like, back when I live with you and used to shit with the door open every single day,

you definitely were rocking a three-and-one shampoo conditioner, body deodorant. 100%. I was a huge axe guy, big time on the axe. I love, no, Axe. Axe had the three-in-one. remember, Axe was the three and one. Also used, yeah, yeah, I did the three and one. And I think, um, uh, there was another one like the, what's the dandruff one that

had the three and one, too, the one, the white bottle. Yeah, I was known. Hey, when you and Tom lived together, any way to cut a buck or save a buck. I didn't care. I didn't care. I think I was borrowing Tom's razors at some point. I think I was using his bar soap. I mean, there was times where I was like, we don't have any freaking money.

Like, you know, like there was times where, you know, we ate once a day. day for God's sake. So, you're 100% right. We were due. We can do a whole episode on that, by the way. I know. I know. Next time we do one, we can do a deep dive into the early days when we were all living

together. But like, I appreciate your redirect, but you can't just gloss over the fact that you used to shit with the door open. That's a massive ick. First of all, it's not, in those days, do you remember when I was doing that? We didn't have our phones. We didn't really bring our phones with us to the bathroom, you know, because that was with the Blackberry days.

I really wasn't going. you're talking. So I needed to talk to somebody while I was going to the bathroom. There's only so many magazines and shampoo bottles I can read. Now I want to talk. Actually. Okay, here's, I got to move on. I got to move on. So a girl, a man who talks about their ex too much.

That's a nick. That is a nick. Yeah. Yeah. That's definitely. I mean, yeah, I've been guilty. We've probably. I've been guilty of doing that.

I've been guilty of doing that. Second date or when you're getting to. know someone if you like if you if you if you've let your ex consume 80% of the conversation even though I mean yeah man honestly you might as just walk away um they're constantly on their phone slash bragging about themselves yeah well that's being on your phone is a big one especially today I think back in the day when we were dating it wasn't really a big deal but today it's a big deal today's a big deal I mean no I think in the yeah in the beginning days like we were dating. Like I said, when me and Tom lived together, we were really never on our phones in

those days. But now you're on a date. I feel like if you go to the bathroom or something, that's an instant time that check your phone. If you're not away, you're checking your phone. Or if a guy says, hey, do you mind if I check my phone? Like for me, for instance, I have a, I have not dating now, but if I was to go on a date, I need to check my phone to make sure that, you know, and I have a child now. So I always have to check my phone to make sure something like that. That's fine. And if you say it like a disclaimer in the beginning, hey, just to let you know, if I get on my phone, it's just because I need to check it in my son or something like that like that's fine but if you're on it constantly and checking Instagram and scrolling yeah that's a problem just yeah it kind of kind of passive

aggressively almost like in a disinterested couldn't I can't be bothered sort of way um no but like you're gonna be on your phone a lot just be self-aware about it acknowledge it you know we're all this is yeah yeah this is a huge one for me and I I cannot in fact we had this problem I think it's because we sat economy but This is a really, really big thing for me is when people clap, when we land, and when people talk loud on the plane or slash in an elevator. Like, nobody wants to hear your fucking conversation. Nobody.

And when you're on a plane and you're talking on the phone, like, that is like, oh, like, it makes me embarrassed. Like, I'm so embarrassed when people are talking in an elevator or they're talking on a plane. Like, I cannot handle it. No, it's, it's, it, it grates on my nerves for sure. I can't. Like, I get embarrassed for them doing it. They'll be talking about, like, for instance, this girl was talking about,

I can't wait to land in L.A. and get a 7-Eleven hot dog, and she's yelling across the whole plane. And I was just like, oh, my God, shut up. Like, shut off. It was so like, I'm looking around. I get embarrassed for other people do stupid things. So it really, really embarrassed me. Okay. Oh, here's a big one.

A lot of girls have this, and I'm calling out the ladies. And I'm going to call it because, well, I dated pretty much every girl I've been with had this issue. A messy car. A messy car. That's a good one. That is a good one. It's a massive, listen, not even in a sexual way, but it's just a turn off. And I don't like to slippery slope people.

Maybe they're going through a depressive state. But like, you see someone with a filthy car with like Arby's cups, maybe like some Doritos or like a Cheeto down in the side there besides the seat. A fossilized French fry from McDonald's from 10 years ago. Like, I'm going to, again, I'm going to give them some great. maybe they're struggling, but like, it's hard not to extrapolate and be like, this person does not have their shit together. You know, like, I'm going to lift up their toilet seat and there's going to be shit fackled all over it. That's, that's, that's. Okay.

So first of all, with the car, like, when you see a girl's car like this, now here's the thing. I'm going to give a little bit of a break in L.A. Because I know in L.A. You have 25 different things going on there. You have auditions. You got to go right to your restaurant. You got to go back. You don't have time to go home.

So you kind of live out of your car more or less. But going to a girl's Honda accord, okay, and opening that door and you've seen that mess, it kind of sets the precedent of like, is this what your life is like? Is this what you are? Are you this unorganized? Why do you have 100? Why are you 35 and you still have your high school graduation dangling from the rear of your mirror?

Like, why? Like, we did it. You graduate a high school. You're 35 years old. And, you know, like, there's just certain things that drive me crazy. Like stuff everywhere, makeup everywhere, shoes and wedges all over the car, clothes. Your apron from outback steakhouse has been, it's crusty in the back seat. You got leftovers underneath your seat from three days ago.

Like, oh, it's gross. This is a universal ick. But like after working in the bar business, you know, Jackson, you have a bar now and just being hosting, being talking to people riffing about life five years. And by the way, I love drunk people. They don't bother me. I don't mind clingy people. But like, I swear there's a direct correlation between how bad people's breath is

and how close they be when they're talking to you. They want to be up in your ear. Like, you can feel the hotness and the stink of their breath on your face. And we get it a lot. We get it a lot you and I because obviously people are coming up to us and talking to us and asking questions and pictures and stuff. And they want to tell us their life story. and it's always those people with the breath that's so hot

and like you know like spit's coming out and it's just like oh like you feel it like you said you feel it like you almost want to go take a shower right after you talk to them you guys I'm not going to make this a pity party but like just yeah one of the one of the pitfalls of being in this industry in the past five years I think I've had COVID like 37 times just from being so close to people coughing on me and sneezing on me by the way I still love you. It happens.

No, it happens. I get it, but be a little bit self-aware. What bothers me is their friends don't tell them. How did nobody, how did you go through this whole time in life and not one of your friends have told you? How many times have I told you, Tom, or you told me, dude, you smell. You stink. You go take a shower.

Your breath smells. You can't, I would never not tell you that because I'm with you. The last thing I want is to hang out with somebody who's breath fucking stink. So I would call you out on it. It just shocks me how many girls, their girlfriends, don't tell them that they, either have body odor or their breaststicks. Why? How did you go?

How did you get along? How did you go through life this long and nobody's told you this? Well, they could just be having a bad day. We all have, I mean, how do you not smell? There's some people that you just like, how do you not smell it on yourself? Anyway, the next one is, and this one is like,

I feel like people are going back to this now. And yes, in my younger days, this was a Nick. People that live with their parents. Now, I don't know if you've seen on social media. Obviously, things are out of control with inflation. things are costing a fortune nowadays. A lot of people are moving back in with their families. Would that bother you?

Was that an ick? I mean, for me, if a girl lives with her mom and dad, I don't think that's a problem. If a man lives with his mom and dad, that's a problem. Listen, I think at this point to say in this economy is almost like fucking trite or whatever, but I mean, I get it. Like, dude, as I get older, I'm so much more empathetic and understanding, compassionate. I know that's boring take, such a lukewarm take. No, I don't think it is.

If any girl I met right now, if I was to go on a date right now and she live with her mom and dad, I would be okay with that. Dude, I know how expensive it is to live here. It's cost of freaking fortune. But in my opinion, I don't think a man should live with his family. That's just me. At our age. Listen, if you're super successful, a failure to launch scenario. I love that movie.

McConaughey, it's pretty cute. But, like, no, it's usually not a good. look and I think it's a turnoff for universally for most women. But if you're if you're taking care of your your sickly mother or father. Yes. Yes. Or you had a successful business and all of a sudden it failed and you're working on getting back up again.

This is kind of just maybe a stepping stone to get to other things. Basically, I'm just saying if you're just doing it just to do it, like I'm living there. I'm not really trying to go anywhere. If you like, you know, you had a job issue. You lost your job or whatever and you're in transition. I can deal with that as a guy. I can deal with that. I like that.

I like the way you ended that. Jacks, I got one for you. I know you got one for you. This is going to cut deep, okay? Okay. You ready? Oh my God, I'm nervous. Okay, Jax.

And by the way, fuck the grammar police, defund the grammar police. But like, I do get the ick when people don't know the difference between T-O to T-O-O-O and T-W-O. Oh, your-you-or. I do know it. But sometimes, here's the thing, I have huge hands and I type fast. And sometimes the information comes out faster than my brain can process. Do I do this? Yes, we all know about the boys chat, okay?

Everybody tells me that they have to decode my messages because majority of the time they don't make any sense. That's because I'm always in a hurry because I know you're talking to me about this, okay? Not only do that, do I have big hands. Okay, so I don't capitalize my eyes. I have run on sentences. I don't give a shit. Okay, I don't care. I know what you're you know what I'm thinking you know what I'm saying so I got lazy with it

quick lesson T O I know what two stands for and I know the number two it means it means it's an adverb meaning uh as well or in excess just remember when there's an extra oh it's extra I know that I just type fast and like I don't care like you know what I'm saying you can decode it by this time you know what I'm saying okay but thank you grammar please I'm I'm I'm bad about that. You're right. You're right. I don't even capitalize my eyes when I say, hey, I'm doing this. It's just a lower choice. Like, I don't understand. I get lazy. Our phones make us so damn lazy. They really, really do. Okay. Here, I'm going to go to men now. Men get the ick towards women that are, well, have rude, demeaning attitudes. That's a given. Yeah. That's universal. Yeah, that's universal. The lack of independence that the women, women who have lack of independence and don't have their own hobbies. Yeah. That's one. Yeah, that's a good one.

Now, what if, now what if you were dating somebody and they don't have close girlfriends? Like, they don't have, like, their own thing going on. They're kind of leaching on to you right away. Would that be an ick? For me, it does, yes. It is an ick. If someone's overly clingy or smothers you, which, by the way, I've been on both sides of the coin. Me too.

Me too. I've been clingy. And I know. But, yeah, it's, oh, man, it's such a bad feeling. it bothered me when they were clingy, but then it bothered me when they, like, they wouldn't show me a lot of attention.

It went both ways for me. Like, I was like, wow, this girl hasn't called me in a week. But then again, I'm like, god damn it,

this girl calls me every single day. Like, I've been in both, both ends of it. I feel like there's got to be a happy medium somewhere. The lack, sorry, they lack clear and effective communication skills.

That's a huge one. Well, on that, we'll say that I was reading, I was reading, I was on the treadmill, I was on the treadmill, like,

and someone, I was reading some more specific niche ones. And someone said when a guy can't find his words or jumbles his words and he's just like, oh, I can't talk today. And I was like, oh, that one hurt. That felt personal because I have

those moments after hosting at the bar for like three, four, five hours being hyper-socialized. I'll come home and I can't string together one more sentence. But I do kind of agree is a little bit of an ick. Maybe one of my icks that I ick. I mean, we've

seen you and I talk to you many times and and watch what happens live. You and I have been on there many times. 90% of the time when you talk, I don't know what words you're using. You use really big words. You use them correctly, but I don't know what the fuck you're saying half the time.

I'm saying you're an intelligent guy. And, you know, you use big words. And I just always like just nod at my head. I'm like, because I know what you're saying. So I, but I'm getting it, you know, I've gotten into both times where we've been out and we're just like maybe after a few cocktails. You're like, I just can't put a sentence together right now.

and you're trying to sound intelligent, but you can't, you know, or if you're nervous, especially when you and I do a lot of interviews, you know, and we got to talk about certain topics, and we can't form a sentence and you want to say something. And then usually when the interview's right over, you're like,

damn, and I should have said it like this. That's, that's annoying. Speaking, I guess men, men who speak poorly about other women. That's a given.

Yeah. And also, like, I would have loved to poll your listeners to hear like words, that men used to describe female anatomy that give them the ink. That would have been a green. Yeah. I prefer to like a vagina as a puss.

I hate that word. I hate that word. Like I've used the word like, hey, you're being a pussy, but I don't like it to, I don't want it to be associated with the female part. Like I just, unless it's like a real,

I mean, you've got to be like in a real intimate moment and you're having fun and you're getting real dirty, fine. But I just don't like that word. I just don't like it to use like that. Like we use the word pussy as I'm like, man, your buddy's out there. I'm like, oh, man, don't be a pussy.

Like, I say it that way, but I don't mean it in the vagina sense of it. Do you know what I'm saying? I mean it as in like. Yeah, no, I totally get it. And also, like, I don't care how wealthy, how successful you are. I don't care what empire you've built. If you're a dude, a bro, a man, and you're out describing women or potential mates as talent, unironically, unironically referring to women as talent, you are a douchebag.

Yeah. Sorry, man. You're a dork, too. You're a fundamental. We know a couple guys who talk like that. We know a couple of guys. People say ironically with a self-awareness, which it makes it funny. You know what I mean?

But when people use it unironically and like earnestly, it's like, bro, come on. And everybody I know that uses that or has used that are still single and can't find a girl for the life of them. Like so the people that use it, you can tell they use that word. They're, you know, they, the reason. why you're single. The reason why you're a loser is because you refer to the word word, you use the word talent when you describe as women. I know. I hate that. You're right. That's another one. You're right. Um, this one real quick. 10 second obvious one. People who don't like animals. People who don't pet my dog when they come in the door. Jacks, you did that the other day. I know.

I know. I love dogs. I do. I love them. I've had two of them. Don't get me wrong. I love them. I, it just, if they come off to me, I'm going to pet them. I'm just not like a dog animal. We talk about the other day, I'm thinking about getting a fish for Cruz because he had a fish and it passed away. He's got two dogs. I was thinking about getting a fish. I'm just not an animal guy. I'm just not...

Ooh, ick. No, I like animals. Don't get me wrong. I would never hurt an animal or do anything. I'm just not the kind of guy that has a dog. I'm too busy to be able to take care of one. And I don't think that's... I just think that's good.

I don't want to have a dog and neglect it, you know? So I'd rather just not have a dog. I'd rather... I don't mind dogs. But yes, I have been guilty not to pay. your dogs and I'm sorry. Okay, I like this stuff. This one here, this one, this one here's a big bugaboo for you.

I know that. Dramatic, arguing, and picking fights. Oh, oh. I think we both dealt with that. Well, it depends. It depends. Sometimes it's valid, but like, listen, if I'm on vacation, first, that's, okay, one of my top five icks, getting mad on a vacation.

I just, there's not many reasons in the world I can, I can, I can, see to get mad on a vacation and also like if and maybe I've been guilty of this too but like I don't know if I should say this one it might be controversial but like having experienced this a lot letting someone who can't figure out what they want to wear sabotage an entire night or make you an hour and a half two hours late I get it sometimes you just don't feel sexy you don't feel good in your own skin and you don't want to go out there's like there's some deeper rooted issues but But like if you have plans that's been in the books for a month in the night of you cannot decide on an outfit, you're an hour and a half late and you're crying. I'm going to be sweet still, but like get your shit together, man.

Oh, man. I'm going to get that one. But like it's not that deep. Throw on a hoodie and a hat and call it a day. One of my favorite things to say, and I said this so many times, and believe it or not, I don't know why in the world, but people do ask my, when I do my cameos, One of the biggest things people ask me, like, do you have any wedding advice? I'm like, first of all, I have the last person that should give any marriage advice, any wedding advice. But when I do, jokingly, I always say, pick and choose your battles.

Pick and choose your battles. Is it worth it? When you think about it, is it really worth it to have this argument? Is it worth it? Is it something that's going to, you know, this is going to offset my day? Or is it something that, like, I need to talk about right now? Like, I really pick and choose your battle. I don't know how many fights I've had with, you know, with, you know, with, you know, you know,

people that I've dated where I'm like, this fight is just not worth it. Can't we just chalk it up as a loss either way? I just can't. Like, why are we arguing about this? Why are we ruining our day over something so silly? That bothers me. I feel that in my soul. But that being said, after having been, you know, married and multiple great relationships,

I just, sometimes you just got to let people feel their feelings. They just want to vent. They just want to get it out. They know it's obnoxious. They're like aware, but they just have to get it out. It's like some sort of catharsis. They don't want any solutions like we talked about earlier. They just want you to maybe hug them and nod and be like, I get it.

Or just listen and shut the fuck up. But dude, by the way, I felt what you said deep in my soul, just unnecessary fights. And I guess the big question is here is like, can the ick be reversed? Can you get the ick for someone but then un-ick yourself? Can you, you know, really get the full attraction back? So if you got the ick, we're just going to sum this up here. you got the ick, can it come back? Can you un-ick the ick?

For me personally, I'm going to answer this. I can. Yes, depending on what it is. Well, let's get more specific here. Let's get a specific hypothetical. This is a universal one. I was thinking about this earlier, actually. Seeing someone pick their nose in public.

And this usually, if it's your significant other, who cares, the love of your life. But if it's someone you have a crush on, It's like your dream person. I don't know, like fucking Beyonce, I don't know, fucking Harry Styles, Jacob Allorty, I don't know, Zendaya. If you see since, like,

if you're madly in love and you see them pick their nose in public, it doesn't matter how. Can we use mine? Sidney Sweeney. Sydney Sweeney. All right. Okay, okay, you see Sydney. But by the way, this is just a temporary ink.

Okay, you're not going to, like, deter you from ever pursuing someone you're interested. And we all... I don't think she could ever give me the, but go ahead. No, that's it. I was just to take it. Jacks, all right.

Listen, you're at John and Vinnie's in the Valley, the new location, and you look to your left, and it's Sidney's, you're trying to play it cool. She's sipping a nice cold glass of Sauvignon Blanc, and then the next time you look over, she's just digging for gold, way up there. Where you have to make your phone like this to get deeper? I if it was anybody else probably but her no I would ask if she needs help do you need a hand like can I get you know

new fetish unlocked oh my I mean I don't yeah for her no any anybody else yeah that would be a little gross yeah I don't think I could come back from that listen that was a silly one but I just I just I just a universal it just popped in my head um Yeah. But no, of course you can recover from X, man. I mean, especially if it's your partner. Like, you know, if you communicate with each other and say, hey, listen, it bothers me that you wear socks with sandals. It bothers me that, you know, whatever, you wear this all the time and you never dress up for this and you look like a slouch. I mean, I guess if you can communicate with each other and say, okay, let's try to fix this, you know, and you're comfortable enough. And then, again, this is when you're in a relationship.

I think you can come back from that. And I would, like, for me, if something bothered, you know, my significant other, and I'd be like, okay, I'll fix that for sure. Like, I'm, I want to make you happy. I don't want you to look at me grossed out when we're at an event, you know? Yes. But I'm pretty self-aware. I think I'm pretty self-aware of when I give off X, I think, for the most part.

I don't know. Maybe not. I had a specific one just popped in my head when you said that that I saw. I don't know what the website was. But I was, I was really laughing about like very specific niche ones. And one girl said, when a guy wears a backpack and more specifically

when I see a guy running with a backpack first of all I laughed second of all I was like offended because like what what the fuck do you expect me to wear when I'm traveling in the airport do you want me to wear a fucking satchel

I'm not rocking a satchel okay like tell me I want people to tell me what you're supposed to wear when you're traveling overseas I think or like maybe it's not like I'm rocking a backpack to go to freaking on a Starbucks run but like there's part of me that gets it but like I love my backpack.

Jack, you got me that great backpack. I know you've been using that backpack for years. It's a to me, dude. It's custom to me with your name on it. You rock it. Like I said, that's a dumb thing because if you're in an airport, what's wrong with that?

It's not like it's a school bag Jansport, okay? You're not rocking a Jansport. You're rocking a Tumee travel bag. You're not, we both know who used to do that. We used to rock the Jansport in the apartment. to stomp around. I'm sorry, Doty, I'm going to call out Doty on that one. Doty used to rock the Jansport to go crazy with that thing.

But, you know, like I said, it's a designer, it's luggage, it's whatever we're traveling. I've never seen you wear it other than when we travel. And I think that's silly to say that. Like I said, it's a designer bag. It's not a school backpack. Thank you. This is just a side question I was thinking about. Like, I'm trying to, obviously I think people know that I'm going through, you know, a pretty,

I don't want to say messy, but I'm going through a pretty in-depth. divorce and you know and I know you are obviously you've been there and you're way way past it and I just got a question like for me this I mean this is what I want is it healthy to stay in a relationship with an ex do you think it's healthy you need to maintain a friendship to maintain a friendship I feel like is it is it healthy to do that or is it or do you think you should just cut it off completely I think I can't I personally can't do that because I have kids I have a kid so I can't do that. But for you, do you think, I know your, I know your character and you are, like, you want to be, you're a good person and you're friends with all your exes, but do you think it's

important to do that or do you think it should be just cut off? I mean, it's such a lame answer, but of course it depends. It depends how amicable the separation was. What? I think, cut off. Sorry. You there? I think it, yeah. Can you hear me? Yeah. I think, you know, can I just tell you my answer? I think if, you know, you can get to that point where this is where I want to get to. And if you can have like, if you could be mature about it, you know, especially if you have kids. And I think if you can establish a boundary knowing that it can never go any further. It can never have a one night where let's hook up. If you can establish that right off the get go, I think you can do it. You know?

Yeah. And I think I think a lot of people who try to stay in relationships for the wrong reasons such as being scared of being alone, that's a bad reason to stay with your ex personally. That's what I think. And I think a lot of guys are scared of being alone. I think a lot of women are scared of being alone. That's why they try to maintain their unhealthy relationship. So unfortunately, guys, I'm sorry we had a little bit of technical difficulties with the internet. But I just want to say thank you guys so much for listening into in the mind of a man.

I hope you guys learned a little bit and about the ick. I can't wait to come back next weekend. Thank you, Tom Schwartz, for coming on. I really, really appreciate it. And we'll see you guys next week.