When Reality Hits with Jax and Brittany - Kristen Doute on Miami Girl, Motherhood & Her Most Dramatic Moments

Episode Date: October 2, 2026

Brittany sits down with her longtime friend Kristen Doute for a fun and candid catch-up about reality TV, friendship, motherhood, and everything that has changed since their early days in the spotlight. Kristen looks back on the Miami Girl drama, shares what reality TV has taught her about being authentic, and reflects on how much she has grown since her Vanderpump Rules days. The two also swap stories about their friendship, motherhood, embarrassing moments, crazy DMs, and more. Plus, Kristen opens up about becoming a mom, her new podcast, and what’s next.Please support the show by checking out our sponsors!Talkiatry: Head to Talkiatry.com/REALITYHITS to complete the short assessment and get matched with an in‑network psychiatrist in just a few minutes.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

And welcome back to another episode of When Reality Hits. I have my girl Kristen Doty on today. Hey, Kristen. Hey, girl, hey. It's been a while since you've been on the pod. I know. I was just thinking, I'm like, I just remember last time we were talking about you hosting parties, which happens every couple months.

Yeah. So it's been a minute. It has been a minute. I was like, hmm, Kristen hasn't been on in a while. Let's catch up with this girl. Yeah. How are you doing? I'm good because I'm a mom of a toddler now.

Yes. Which is different. 15 months. I consider her a toddler because she walks. Yeah, she's walking. She doesn't know what a toddler is technically. I feel like it's two, but she's walking. Yeah. And like starting to talk and say little words and I just Googling all the time.

I call her Jabber Jaws. Jabber Jaws is the best. I would call her Chattie Kathy and then Brittany called her Jabber Jaws. And I was like, that is spot on. Jabber Jolls. Little Jabber Jaws, Kaya. Okay, we're definitely getting into motherhood and all kinds of friendship questions and everything. But I'm going to ask you just some funny questions.

just to get us going, okay? Yeah, I need it. Let's do it. What's the most Kristen thing you've done recently that you absolutely refused to apologize for? Oh.

The most Kristen thing. Okay, the most, oh, I wish you would have asked me this ahead of time I could prepare. So, listen, y'all know I'm in therapy. I try not to do deep down Kristen things

very much. She sneaks in. She does sneak in. We love crazy Kristen still. I want her on board with me she just has to be subdued at times. Okay, can we come back to that one at the end? Yeah, I'll circle around in my mind.

But do you... I think you did. I mean, one of the things, because you love traders and you just recently did, like that Traders Night. Yes, I did. Talk about that a little bit. That was so much fun.

And I posted it on social media and everyone thought I was actually on Traders, which I'm not yet. Yet. It is a dream of mine. Yeah. But my friend Dan Gisling, who is like the goat of reality TV, like in the Big Brother type world. He won Big Brother.

He was a runner up in like Big Brother All-Stars. He was on Traders. So I've known, for those of you don't know, I've known Dan since we were like 12 years old. Like we go way back to Dearborn, Michigan. And he was in town with Memphis from Big Brother and poverty. I always say her name wrong. Poverty was there.

And this girl, Hannah, who's like a Big Brother person. And they were all doing this traders kind of in L.A. like social game. So the game was only 75 to 90 minutes long. And Dan got to choose five people. Poverty got to choose five people. And then we got to play a game of traitors at the round table. Did you end up being a triter?

No. Thank God. Oh, yeah. Saying like, Dan, if I'm a traitor, like I am the worst liar on the face of the minute. Yeah, I don't think either one of us would be good at being a traitor. I can tell like a half truth like in a story. Yeah. You know when you kind of have to like two truths and a lie.

Yes. one type of a thing, I can kind of like be sneaky in that way. But if I had to just full out lie and look at someone and say, I'm not a traitor. I would give it away. Me too. I don't know if I would be able to do that. Sorry. So I was a faithful.

We didn't play to like the very bitter end. You kind of play until you start figuring out who the traitors are and you all get to guess. So it's just like a shortened version. But man, was it a blast. It was. Did you guys figure it out? No, we didn't. We figured out.

I think we called. We got like three people wrong. Wow. Did people think you were a traitor? Yes. Of course. Absolutely. Of course they did.

Okay. This is a funny one of all your years on TV and everything. What's the dumbest argument you've ever had? How about what's the smartest argument I've ever had? Which probably doesn't exist. The dumbest argument I've ever had on reality TV. I mean, dare I say it was the Miami girl one. when I brought Diane, I mean, my...

That clip has been going everywhere recently. I have been... Why? Why? Because Taylor Swift's Patient Zero just came out. So why does that making that clip go out? Because the song is about... It's not about the... It's not about, like, the guy. She's not talking to the guy.

Yeah. Taylor's talking to the other woman. And from what I've read, so everyone knows if you're not like a total Swifty, this is not from Taylor's own personal experience. This was from a friend of hers. she was like with a group of girlfriends at some time this is what I read

and that the girlfriend was saying that the ex was calling had reached out to her about the guy she was seeing to basically say like I just need you to be careful because I feel like these things are going to happen to you or are happening to you and they happen to me

and so the song Patient Zero is from the woman's perspective to the other woman of like did he do this? Did he do that? Got it. It's not your fault. It's his fault. Right. He's the bad guy. You're not the bad guy. Right. Which I love. Yeah. And so the whole Ariana, me, sand of all shit came about. So they're calling me like the OG patient zero, which I can cry because I just love Taylor so much. But anyway,

I think that that scene, because now I've had to rewatch it so many times. I have seen it like three times in the past couple days. Like, if not more. My argument. The second deck scene made sense to me, but Diana just really got the shit under the stick. Yeah, she did. Because I've been, been saying people react it. A lot. A lot of people have been reacting there. I forgot. A lot of people have been reacting it.

Like you and Sheena talking and like the Miami girls sitting there and then Diana walking up and the second dick and you with your cigarette. Is a guy who did it with like wigs on? I think that's probably who I saw. I definitely saw a guy with wigs on. Oh my God. I wish we knew your handle. Yeah.

But shout out to you if you guys know. That's what I've been saying over and over. Brilliant. Yeah. That's been going on. So you think that was one of your dumbest arguments? The dumb. I mean.

Yeah. I wasn't even, I was getting, when I hear my voice start going, it like matches Sheena's crazy voice. I know at that point, I don't even know what I'm talking about. Yeah, you were just going. But I'm sure y'all out there could tell me a handful of dumber arguments. She was like, why? She was so mad you didn't tell her. She was like, why didn't you tell me?

And you're like, because I'm filming a show and I can't tell you. No, I was like, Sheena, if I told you you'd have ruined the whole thing. Exactly. She would have let Ariana know. and all the stuff. And they just denied it, even with the girl in town, didn't they? But once they broke up, they admitted it. Ariana said that she knew about it.

Years later. That is wild. See, Crazy Kristen wasn't so crazy, bitches. And you actually flew the girl here. Did you like the girl? No, I did not fly her here. I couldn't even fly myself anywhere at that point. I was so broke.

I could barely pay rent. Did she just fly herself here? Yes. Okay, yeah. She reached out. me and said that she was going to come in town. I think she was like visiting like family or friends or something. Okay.

So she was already coming anyway. Or I don't know if she was coming anyway. Yeah. I think she was either coming anyway or was like, I'll make a trip out of it. Yeah. Like, I'll absolutely come and confront them because I'm tired of this narrative. Yeah. Did you get along with her?

So before I saw her in person just through like, I think we were DMing on Instagram or something. And it was like kind of common goal. So we did get along. Yeah. But then when I filmed with her, we went to Cantor's restaurant, like the Jewish deli restaurant on Fairfax. And we went there and I really thought I could easily handle it. I drink a whole bottle of Sauvignon Blanc to myself while she started telling me about her sex capades with my current ex-boyfriend. I was like, I am not doing well right now. You're like, I don't need to talk about this. Yeah. How long after like you how long have you and say it have all been broken up at that point by the time that Miami girl came officially broken up I feel like it was about probably like six or seven months

but in his mind probably three and a half years oh geez yeah because he was out there doing whatever right I was I was hanging on till the bitter end yeah it was a big lesson to learn that's funny though yeah we all we all live and we learn from those mistakes trust me what's one thing that I do that drives you absolutely insane that you do yeah I love that that was your reaction that you do because there's nothing that I do that drives you and say no I mean I'm sure there's like no there's nothing that drives me absolutely insane because I it'd be word vomit right now I'm trying to think what you do that would like bug me oh yeah and it's not toward me this does drive me absolutely insane it's not toward me but because you're such a people

people pleaser sometimes I'm like stop being a pussy yeah say what you mean and mean what you say yeah not and not that you have to just be a bitch yeah I don't want you to be a bitch because it's not in your heart right ray of sunshine but like also I want you to be a bitch sometimes you want me to stand up for myself more which I feel like I'm doing better I don't want you to stand up for yourself like a month and a half later right already been eating away at you and irritating the shit out of you right I know that you wouldn't do that with me I know that if I pissed you off you would just be like oh my god christin like what the fuck yeah but with other people maybe people you're not as close to or whatever like you you just let it take over your soul

until it really bothers you and then you're like so i mean it kind of bothers me when and i was like me fuck sin you enough on your plate right now just say it oh my goodness it's so true i'll take that but that's it what and also that we don't wear the same size shoe yeah so i have a lot of shoes annoying. Your feet are too small. I know. I've got a shoe collection going. That's a little wild. What's one thing that I do that makes you laugh every single time? Everything else. I mean, literally everything else. Oh my goodness. If you could erase one embarrassing moment from your reality TV history, what would it be? Only one. Oh, we all know what it is. I don't even want to say the name. Which time? You were not filming yet.

So you were dating. The worst thing I've ever done. If you want to read my book, he's making you crazy. Yeah. The chapter is called The Lie. Oh, God. So I would erase that from everyone's mind, from my own mind. Yeah.

Because it's a no one, just, ew. Yes. A terrible thing. Which people, I think everyone knows what it is without us having to say it. We don't want to say no names. If you don't know, please go buy my book. And you can read the chapter called The Lie. And then you'll know what we're talking about.

I hate when people try to bring that up now, like that's, still a thing and I'm like oh my god they were kids and they were young and it is not the same we're grownups marriages kids everything else to a friend my friend yeah that I lied to other friends I don't care about any of the men in the mix if I'm being honest but then it's also frustrating that to this day like I didn't even live in LA yet yeah yeah something and people say like well you can't trust her yeah 14 years ago exactly yeah I hate because people People will put that under stuff of me, too. And I'm like, Kristen's my best friend.

Like, I don't even need to think about those tays. Like, come on. And you, yeah, it just, I would erase that. Yeah. I have erased it from my own mind. Thank you, TikTokers, for bringing it back up. Let's stop doing that. What's the most unhinged thing that you've done to someone just because you were mad?

Oh, Lord. I don't know about the most unhinged. I mean, to be fair, like, I've never actually slashed tires or, like, key to car or anything. like I think about it often. I also think about like hitting someone with my car, not killing them. Not like broken bones, but just like a little bump action. Never done that. I think probably was erasing Tom's iPad, but it could have been worse.

I could have erased his iPhone. Yeah. His MacBook. So you were erase his iPad, like all the apps and everything on it? I just, I like set it back to factory settings. Oh, my God, hilarious. I erase the whole entire thing. Love it.

That's funny. In hindsight, I could have done better. Yeah, you could have done better. That's not that bad. That's not that unhinged. He deserved it, okay? If you got to pick somebody to play a movie version of you, who would play you and who do you think would play me? Oh.

So does it have to be an actor? I think it should be an actor. Because I like that one singer that you look like. Who? Marin Morris? Carol. Carol G. Oh, Carol G.

I love that. Oh, Maron Morris. is a good one. Everyone thinks... She's a singer too. Yeah. Everyone thinks they look like Marin Morris and a lot of people

thank Harold. I think Mary Morris looks like if you and Chrissy Teagan had a baby. Yep. She does. Yeah. Yeah.

So I don't think I look like anyone or anyone looks like me, but when I was really skinny and had short hair, people said Christy Tarlington, but not an actor. So who's like a good, like, olive-skinned...

Do they have to look like us or just, like, act like us? I don't know. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. that's hard i don't even know who i would pick okay i'm just gonna say jennifer lawrence then yeah seriously

jennifer lawrence is my favorite she's from kentucky so but but you want Jennifer laurence we want Jennifer Lawrence to play both of us yeah that's what i want i want her to conversation with herself or like reese witherspoon younger day sweet home Alabama country country vibes you know yeah that would be awesome so jennifer lawrence is my final answer there we go okay um okay if you could bring back one person for from reality TV for one completely chaotic episode. Who would it be? And it doesn't have to be Bravo.

It could be anybody that you think does awesome reality TV. Do I have to think about their chaotic time or I could bring them in for a new chaotic time? Bring them in for a new chaotic time. Stephen McGee, 100% Summer House season one. He's our true good friend. Stephen is reality TV gold. I think so too. He should have been on Summerhouse longer.

Or join the Valley. Move here. I think we'll be on something. And he's such a good friend. us but he just in real life is such a truth teller it's he says exactly how he feels exactly how he is in the moment yeah he's open and honest about his whole life yeah i just think he's gold i think he's gold too i love him we love you stephen maggie if your anxiety depression or ADHD are more than just a rough patch you might need more than talk therapy or self-help tools talkiatry connects you with real

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Tachiatry.com slash reality hits. Okay, I asked Zach this question last time he was on the pod. What's the craziest DM you've ever received? Well, I've received a lot of crazies. DMs. Like from a famous person or just like anybody? Oh Lord. I mean I've gotten it all. I've gotten all the bad, terrible, the ugly. Yeah. And I've also gotten like marriage proposals and shit like that. Do you get like dick picks and stuff? Not that I've ever seen, but I don't open photo. Yeah, because they're blurred. Yes. So I just never ever

opened. I opened one on accident that was definitely a dick pick and I was like, whoa. Did it look like a real dick pick or like someone stole it from someone? No, it looked like a real dick pick. It was not impressive at all. I feel like if you if you were going to say, send somebody a dick pick you would want it to be like perfect. Guys, penises are fucking up. Yeah, I don't send up.

Unless you're about to like have sex with them. Don't send us. Like I don't want to stare at a penis when I watch porn. I don't look at the penis. Yeah. Oh my God. Stop sending dick picks unsolicited. I had a really weird message one time that I did that just popped up in my head.

It was this woman and she was like telling me to be careful putting like tampons in the trash and stuff because people will come in steal them and try to like make baby. from it. It was so weird. Obviously, I know that they can't do that. Did you look at her profile? This was like live, laugh, love, God is good. Probably. Probably. This was when I first started VaynerPump Rules. So this was like early on. And I was like, she's telling me to be careful putting a tampon in the trash can. Because that was early on. That was a real human, not a bot. Yes, exactly. It was just, it was a real lady in my DMs being crazy. I don't know if she's a real lady, but she was a woman. Oh my gosh.

what's one of your i cannot believe we actually did that memories with me um when we went to clearwater i knew you're going to say this because we've just talked about it recently and that that's exactly how many years ago is that it was when i got inducted in the hooters hall of fame and 2019 yeah it was the year i got married 2019 yeah so brittany took me she got like a plus one to be flown to clearwater florida like be in the hotel with her yeah she was inducted in the hooters hall of fame and she took me and I felt so special and it was so exciting. It was such a fun trip. It was such a good trip. So we did all the stuff, the pageant stuff, the clear water stuff and then we just really, really wanted to go on a boat and we hadn't planned ahead of time. Yeah. So we walked up and down the dock

and found a dude. We asked a couple different people like, oh, do you own this boat? Yeah. Just walking up and down the docks. Just like a like just by ourselves. Just me and Kristen. And we found a guy that owned his boat. And he, I remember, he had his boat and then he had a houseboat as well yeah and we paid him cash and just said we're we got a leave to go on an airplane later but we really want to spend a day out on the water so we didn't i don't even couldn't even couldn't even couldn't even we just went out on the water on the ocean with some random dude we just paid him to take us out he got off we yeah he got off to like go do some stuff or bring yeah he ended up being very nice like thank the lord we didn't get chopped up

and thrown in the ocean yeah we could have been chopped oh we literally could have ended up in like international water we could have like bye that what if you went to his houseboat to get like more fuel in a machete and we probably didn't even tell anybody no we didn't that we were doing that because we felt we felt we felt stupid we're like if we tell everyone we're like paying this random human oh my god can you imagine doing that now that we're parents like I would never put myself that situation because I would be like I can't because no I would be like what is your social security number yeah photos of the license plate everything But that was awesome.

And remember he had that special motor that he could change out that let us like go in the shallow. Yeah. The kelp. Yeah. Yeah. And he said I was like the best shark finder that he's ever had on his boat. And I was like, yeah. I know.

That was awesome. We saw so many babies sharks. If you guys know me, you know I love sharks. So that was like the best day. We got to do that again one day. Yeah. Not with a stranger. We're going to plan it out.

Like you got to do like a clear water 2.0 and like, you know, do it the safe way. Oh my gosh. Okay. Let's go into spill the tea. Let's do it. Who from your past do you think you would understand completely different now? Oh, like an ex or a friend? Anybody. Ooh, that's a good question. I think Carter, my ex-boyfriend. Yeah. Carter? Yeah. You think, why do you think you would understand? He just got married. Yeah. I saw that he got married. Congratulations. Why do you think you would see him differently now? Um, because I'm, I'm, different because I'm more grown up. Yeah.

And he was such a great guy. I mean, he is such a great guy. I never thought that he wasn't, but I think that. It just wasn't the time. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think a really great human.

His now wife is fantastic. Like, not like we like hang out and get the four of us together, but like we do spend time with them occasionally. Oh, awesome. What's one thing that you think fans completely misunderstand about you? This is a great question. I'm glad you asked it because I said something. thing publicly, I think I've said it a few times where I'm like, I use the term pit bull,

where I say like, I, everybody wants me as their pit bull until I'm against them. Yeah. And people are like, but pit bulls are great. Exactly. That's the point. I don't want people to think that I'm saying pit bulls are a bad dog. No, we love dogs, all dogs. I'm so emotionally affected by this because I love pities.

Wait, people were saying that like going to. if I was saying it in a negative way. Oh. Oh, gotcha. My point is that Pipples are the most loyal. Like Pipples, German Shepherds, like these are loyal ass dogs. Like if you are their person, you know, like that's that. Yeah.

So what I mean by Pipples is not that they are attackers. Yeah. They want to murder humans. Yeah. No. You know who wants to murder humans or, I mean, who wants to hurt dogs? It's Michael Vick. He used Pipples because he's a bad person.

Dogs themselves are. wonderful. Exactly. So what I mean by people, again, to reiterate. Loyalty. The short way is loyalty. Right. Everybody wants me to be the loyal person for them that will stand up for them until they're on the other side of it. And then they're like, oh my God,

Doty just has to speak for everyone. Like, why does she do that? And I'm like, well, if I did it for you, you'd be like, sick I'm Christian, you know? So that's what I mean. We love dogs. Let's make that clear. Yes. Yeah. That's funny that people are even like But I take it so like sensitively

Yeah. Because I'm like, wait, I don't mean that they're attackers. I mean they're loyal. Shut up. Exactly. What's one of the biggest lessons that you think reality being on reality TV has taught you? Oh, to just live your life with no bullshit. Be authentic.

Yeah. Yeah. Because the truth always comes out. It sure does. It sure does. And even if you're kind of like bullshitting like someone because you feel bad, then if you're with your friend and you're caught in a moment where you're just being super honest and authentic,

it's going to, now you're playing two sides. Yeah. And it just don't do that. It's also so much more relatable whenever people are authentic and like it themselves. Oh, 100%. I always compare reality TV to like watching, like think about a scripted show, a good scripted show.

Because those actors are being authentic within their character. Right. So that's why you like, people have a hard time like saying, well, that actor's not, you know, whatever their character is. Yes. Because you really believe what they're. saying. And if you watch a crappy television show or like movie where the actors are not being super authentic, they're kind of quote unquote playing the part. Yeah. You don't believe that.

Exactly. And it's the same that goes with reality TV. If you're being honest and authentic, it comes across that way. Exactly. You're lying and saying things because you want to make the audience like like you or something of that nature. It comes off as BS. And people can always tell. And then you're going to get called out at the reunion. Yeah. Just live your best. authentic life and if you make mistakes you learn from them and you can correct them that's just life in general you know yeah what's one thing you would tell your younger self before you walked into sir for the first time oh lord buckle up bitch this is going to change your life buckled i'm sure you never thought when you first started working at sir that it would turn into the Vanderpup

rules in the valley and all these opportunities i did not want to work at a restaurant when i moved to L.A. I've done restaurants, bar and shop beer, bartending, like my whole younger life. And I walked in there at 24 years old and I was like, man, I want to work at like a bottle service and make like thousands and thousands and millions of dollars a night and like all these crazy thoughts I had in my head. Yeah. And I just really fell in love with. And I started working at Sir. I was telling you this earlier, Britt, like we had like 10 to 12 employees. We had no liquor license. It was only half the size it is now. This is before housewives of Beverly Hills. Lisa was Giermo and Natalie's partner,

but she was, she and Ken were more of like investing money to make it look really nice. Pretty and grow. Yeah. And grow it. Yeah. But we wore like jeans shorts and like boots with like a t-shirt.

Yeah. Yeah. Before the San Joseo pay outfits, before the surre dresses. Or the crazy dresses. Yeah. And yeah, I worked there for seven years.

Yeah. wild but no four years after working there was when the opportunity for vanderpump came along i could have never dreamt in my wildest street that it was going to turn into that yep that's wild that is wild so you're like buckle up buckle up everything's about to happen and just keep doing what you're doing just do what you're doing because you're on the right path now you got a baby and we've got another show and everything's going good and i have like the most amazing friend group that all have been you know within an ear shot from my home exactly So grateful.

Yeah, same. Me too. Okay, let's do a quick rapid fire. Bourbon or wine. Oh. Wine. Wine. Vegas or Nashville.

Nashville. Text or FaceTime. Text. I already knew that. I already know these answers. Apologize first or hold a grudge. Apologize first. Biggest gossip, you or me.

You. Me? Yeah. It's you. You think? It has to be you. I think it's you. What?

How's it me? You know more. I don't talk to enough people. Yeah, but I don't tell people's private stories. No, it doesn't mean you don't gossip, though. Yeah. You don't come and tell me things that are none of my business. Right, right, right.

But we'll gossip together. We gossip about things that are both our business. Exactly. So maybe we're tied. Okay, fine. 50-50. More dramatic, you remain. Me.

Yeah, Kristen. When the crazy Kristen comes out, not always. No, just in general. Yeah. I have a lot of feelings. Who gets hangary first? I think me Maybe you, yeah

We're both on GLP ones We can barely eat these days But I'm thinking the last like decade I feel like when I'm hungry It's like do or die where you're like Oh I'm hungry like we should order food And I'm like if I don't eat right now You're like I need it

Yep And I run into your pantry That's true That's true Who would last longer without their phone You or me? Me. You thank you 100%

Who would accidentally leak a secret? Me. Probably you. Not that you would do it. No. But I don't think I would leak a secret. But you know who I would leak the secret too?

Me. Exactly. So that is it even leaked? Exactly. It would never actually go anywhere. So it's not even leaked. I think we're both actually good at that. Like maybe back in your vanter pump rules days, you might have leaked a secret,

but now you wouldn't. I think that I'm so like on the net. Yeah. I think that I'm so like untrustworthy. No. I get it, y'all. You're talking Vanterpumpurals. Vanderpump crazy 10 years ago plus 20s yeah yeah I am 43 and I'm a mother now exactly I don't think you would leak any secrets now um who would get arrested first on a girl's trip you you no I said me right away because you're just like so sweet but no you I don't know either one of us I guess actually neither one of us would get arrested on a girl's trip kids exactly

Let's take our kids out of it. Okay. If we're talking back in the day, it would have been you. Oh, see, I would have been me. Before Vanderpump Rules, it would have been me. True. Like back in the day day. During Vanderpump Rules, sure, me.

Yeah, yeah. If we went before Vanderpump Rules for me, it would have been me. During Vanderpump Rules you. I want to meet Bar Fight, Brittany, so hard. I know you've never really gotten in a bar fight, but I could see you just like. Oh, I've been in bar fights in my day. But that was 20-year-old, you know, like that was a long time ago. And they hit me first, and I just protected myself.

Let's make that clear. And I won. Um, but yeah, back at then it would have been me. Vader-Pumperals, it would have been you. And now it would be neither of us because we're too. We're too scared. I'm getting a bar fight with a dude. Yeah.

I would never lay my hand on a woman. No, no. But if a guy touched us the wrong way, you're getting smacked. I would do it gleefully. Protect yourself. Um, okay. Who is more likely to say, I told you so. You?

Yeah. Me. I think so. Yeah. I think you. Uh, one word to describe our friendship. Perfect. Yeah.

I like that. Okay. I'll say that too. One word to describe your dating life. Well, I'm not dating. So non-existent. Yeah, true. You're, you're, she's, maybe you can just say fiancee.

My fiance life. Um, or that you're a fiancee. It's beautiful and chaotic at the same time. There we go. Having a 15 month old. I mean, the last 15 months have just been like, like, it's a lot of up and downs. Yeah.

You're figuring things out all the time. I feel like it's just getting easier because she's getting easier. Yeah. Or at least I'm figuring her out more. Yeah. Yeah. Everything else. Now you've been a mom for over a year and a half almost, you know, so like you understand it.

I'm not surprised this often. Yes, exactly. Yeah. You like know what's to come more. You've already been through the trenches. Right. And when I'm stressed about Kaya, that stress boils over into all other areas of life. Right.

But I feel far less stressed about her. Oh, yeah. 100%. Who's one person that you trust with your life? Other than you? Yeah, let's do other than me because obviously it's me. Oh, well, my sister. Yeah.

My best friend Amy from back home and my best friend Phil from back home. Yeah. We've been friends for, you know, over two decades. I love it. Hands down. Some mysteries have haunted us for centuries. Others are unfolding right now. How does a modern airliner with 239 people on board disappear from the sky without a trace?

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One reality show, you'd absolutely never go on. Any housewife's show. I thought you were going to say special forces. Oh, I would never do special forces. It's so hard. My brain goes, bravo. I would never, never in a million years. They could offer, I mean, it would have to be the most like one billion dollars,

which would never in a million years happen. I just, I don't like the idea of like putting your head down in the, and like being talked to a certain way. I just feel like my triggers would trigger. Well, that's what happened to me. I was being yelled at by men and I know it's their job and I knew I was getting into that, but I was so fresh out of like all this stuff that was going on in my life. And like them yelling at me, I was just like, I hate this. Your triggers were triggered.

Yeah. My triggers have triggers. My motivation was just gone. Instead of being motivated, like, I'm going to prove everybody wrong. I was like, nope, this isn't me. I got to, I tell it out of here. Yeah, that's such a good point. I was watching this thing the other day on Instagram.

And it was, like, actually, like, funny with this wife being like, how do you know that I'm mad at you? And one of the things he said was, like, you suddenly have so much strength and you can do everything by yourself. And that is so me, like when Luke irritates me. I'm like, I'm not going to ask him to pick up the couch and vacuum underneath. I could just do it myself. Exactly.

But when it comes to like the special forces vibe of it, I would not be stronger. I would shut down. Yeah, that's exactly what it did to me. So special forces mixed with housewives. Yeah. Even though I did face a fear and jump out of helicopter, you already know. That stuff terrifies me. Bridges like just looking down, the feeling like I'm going to jump off, even though I know I would never fall from a high place.

Like it's just terrifying. And I was able to. So I thought of it as a win, no matter what. Yeah. That was a long, eight-hour day before I left. Yeah. I think about that trip. Oh, my gosh.

Okay, let's go into some funny motherhood questions. Oh, boy, here we go. What's the most ridiculous thing that motherhood has made you care about? There's so many things. I know. Okay. So, this is so TMI, but it's here for the parents. Yes.

because I publicly did say on my Instagram my daughter had a UTI. I'm just like an honest Sally and I have such a companionship with mothers ever since I became pregnant and I love my Instagram moms that message me

like you just have camaraderie. Exactly. So when Kai got her UTI I changed her diaper the second stuff happens but it's like apparently if the poop touches the V because they're a little ureel

throws are so, so short. Yeah, yeah. So I've learned to just like extra cleanliness that bothers her. Yeah. I'm kind of psycho about it right now. Oh yeah. I mean, that had to be scary. Yeah. And it can happen to anybody. I didn't know. Maybe he's going to have you to you. I know. Yeah. That was scary. Um, what's something you swore you would never do as a mom that you totally do now. Co-sleep. Yep. I mean, you're going to say that. Snuggle co-sleep. But she doesn't, she sleeps with Luke and I right in between us and it's, I don't know. I think it's going to last until she gets a big girl bed. Yeah.

And Kristen knows that I'm going to say this, but I gave her this advice whenever she first became a mom and I will die on this hill because I know a lot of people are like, you can't do this, you can't do that. Your kids are only little for so long. Yeah. So embrace it all. And I love it. Yeah.

It's the best thing in the world when she wakes up right next to me. And she goes, hi. Yeah. It's so sweet. Oh, my God. Now I'm waking up happy. Yeah. I've always done that with Cruz and like he will kick me and, you know, do all this stuff throughout the night.

Sleep, check me and do everything else. But he is starting to sleep better in his own bed. And I think it's because he knows I'm not there. So he's not trying to jump up and down all night, like jump on my head and climb on the top of the headboard. Like now he goes in his own room and he just goes right to bed like a little angel. But I still put him up in my room. We like watch a movie together and like still have that like cuddle time before. Yeah.

Hi, baby. He was because we were talking. Brittany, he was walking down so slowly. He was like... He wanted the big socks. He just came down in like a new little Nike outfit with like tall soccer socks on. He wanted to wear the tall soccer socks. And he liked it.

He knows whenever I'm doing a podcast that like he knows I'm going to be talking for a minute. And sometimes he comes up and tries to let go, uh, on the mic. So that was adorable. He was trying to walk down the stairs slow. He's so cute. Okay. What's the weirdest thing? child has ever, well, I guess she doesn't talk yet.

So that can't, we're going to skip that question. She said. What's the weirdest thing your child has ever said to you? So it's there, I do have an answer. Okay. Well, she doesn't talk much, but she's starting to. Two part thing. So number one, I watch all the funny Instagram videos of the little toddlers, like cussing.

Yeah. And like, we don't cuss in front of her. Of course. But it does slip. She's around. Yeah. I might say fuck. Yeah.

Or whatever. Yeah. I don't care. I want her to say fuck. I, even if she's trying. trying to say truck and it sounds like fuck i need a video of my damn baby accidentally just one time on accident just like she's little and she doesn't understand it yeah it's hilarious guys it is yeah as long as you tell them don't say that like who cares

it's funny yeah so little she just laugh at it it's not that big of a deal the thing that her nanny is from el salvador and teaches her spanish speaks to her in spanish yeah kaya is understand spanish very well but there's this word that she says and i'm going to pronounce her wrong, but it's kind of like Sechaya or something, Sakaya. It means it's like kind of, it's Spanish, but it's like El Salvadorian slang about like to throw something out. So she'll be in her little baby area with a gate and she'll throw toys out or set them outside in between the bars.

Uh-huh. And she'll say this word over and over and over. And I'm like, what is this weird gibberish? She's like, Sakai, Seca Sikas. Oh. And then I realized she's actually, it's a real word. Yeah. I just didn't understand it.

You just didn't know it. My Spanish needs to be up. Yeah, mine too. I think Cruz definitely understands Spanish too. So I'm like, every time my awesome nanny zoolies around, I'm always like, what does that mean? What does that mean? I'm trying to learn too. Fantastic.

Okay. What's your current mom life survival item? Coffee, wine, dry shampoo, or something else? Well, it is coffee in the morning. And coffee, I'm a little sketchback because sometimes it makes me feel a little nauseous. But, like, I've been putting a lot of milk in mind. It makes me feel better. So I've really been, I would say like the last three months, I've been on a hard coffee train, just one a day.

Yeah. And of course, my wine when she goes to bed. Yeah. It's just like, like wake up. And then wine down. A glass of white wine. Yeah. You're definitely the white wine cold girl.

Yeah. Okay. Have you ever hidden in the bathroom just to get away for five minutes? I was literally talking to my psychiatrist about this day. She's like, what do you do when you feel overall non-structural? I'm like, I just go into my bathroom with my AirPods in. I like listen to a song and I just go, okay, reset. Yeah.

All it was was five minutes in the bathroom. I could have been taking a long pee, whatever it is. And now I have a reset. Exactly. You know, you don't show that in front of your kids. No, everyone needs a reset. Everyone needs to go and take a breath and everything and come back out and then you're even better mama.

Exactly. Allow yourself to have those moments. The bathroom's the best place for it. Yeah. No one can judge you for what you're doing in a bathroom, whether it's five minutes or eight minutes or three. Very true. What's something about motherhood

that no one warned you about? Oh, so many things. I think the only things I was really warned about were like the sleepless nights and in the beginning stages kind of a thing. Yeah. I didn't know I would fall so hard in love. I guess that's not a warning.

Yeah. I mean, it's insane. Oh, there's a, it's a love and like anything else. Nothing like me, but I feel so incredibly connected to her. Of course. I see my mannerisms in her. But Warren, I think in the beginning stages that they don't have, their digestive system is like learning how to work. Yeah.

Yeah, you had to go through a lot of changes. She had a lot of colic. She, which colic is just, you're crying because of crying. Yeah. Her like not learning how to to to do. Yeah. Learning how to go number two. Yeah.

I did not know that I just assumed like you're a human being. Yeah. He is born. The baby just automatically poops or farts. Yeah. But like they have to learn how to do that. And that was probably like one of the hardest times of my life being a mom thus far. Mm-hmm.

Were those younger stages of having her cry because she was hurting. Yeah. And and the alligator rolling now that like how much she hates having her diaper change. Yes. Yep. The alligator rolling and just. Just screaming. And they go through those.

Yeah. they're off the changing or like not wanting to get in their car seat like not wanting to that like pin down yeah but some kids like she might get there some kids hate whenever they know they have to get their car seat and they don't want to be like strapped in and that's what it is so it's in general it's like them hating a certain thing to the point that they're like yeah and i've told her since the day she was born like the second you potty train we don't have to do a diaper change anymore yeah she doesn't understand what i'm saying but i'm going to keep saying it until she's you know of age yeah like girl you got to wear it

a dype. Yeah. Yeah. Heck no. You can't just walk around butt-necked and pee everywhere. What's something that motherhood has taught you about yourself that you didn't expect? That I'm patient. Yeah. That I can have patience. Yeah. Seriously, they give you a lot of patience. I'm like notoriously and extremely

impatient person. And not to say I'm not impatient in other areas still, but with Kaya, I am like the most patient. Yeah. And it doesn't even like blow my mind. I'm just like yeah, I'm patient. Yeah, like it's just it comes. I can be a patient person. Yeah. Moms are awesome. We just kind of adapt. Yeah. You know? Absolutely. How has being a mom made you think differently about your own childhood? Oh, Lord. I mean, I want to, listen, I want to do it all differently. My mom was a single mom. My parents divorced when I was little. And as an adult, I can, I talk about

this all the time. Like as an adult, I can see like my mom wasn't a pain in the ass because she had rules. Yeah. And we had curfews. Same. She was a mom doing like raising three kids. The best she could. Working as many jobs as she could. But like there are so many things I would do differently than the way that she parented. And it's no hate on her. Exactly. She did the best she could with the cards she was dealt. Exactly. But I think as millennials talking the way I want to do things and talking to all, of you girls that are my mom friends like we're all trying to do it differently of course yeah we want to be the best that we can yeah you know um i also to be like my very best friend and everyone thinks i'm crazy and they're like good job when she's 13 she's not going to be able to stand you and i'm

like no they should be able to tell you anything that's what i would like to you know i want to be the safe space always 100 you know um i also say like we just talked about like how much you love your child like once i became a mom i remember like my mom was at the hospital whenever i gave Cruz and I remember being like, oh my God, like, you love me this, you love me this much. Like, it makes you like under, yeah, it makes you like understand more because like, we always love our parents and like, I love my mom and my dad and my family and everybody so much. And then you have your own and it's just like this deep like love immediately. And I was like, Mom, you love me like this.

You know? Yeah. And then you start realizing like, oh, every time that she got on my nerves because she did this or didn't want me to do this, like she just loves me. so much. Yeah. Where even to this moment, I'm like, my mom just wants to be paining the ass of things. But I know she loves me, but now I want to text her and be like, wow, you love me. Yeah.

My mom always tells me because, you know, I've been going through a lot in my life and everything. And she doesn't always want to, like, bother me about it or talk to me because she knows I don't want to talk about all the time. And it's already enough. Like, I don't want to talk about all the time. It has been so hard from her being far away from you. Because she's scared. She's always worried about me.

And then every time I do talk about it a little bit, like, sometimes she, like, feels better because I talked to her about it and she understands I'm okay or sometimes she didn't know that something happened and she's like then she worries about it and like wants to call me like five times are you like are you okay and I'm like I just don't want to worry you you know and she was like brittany you're 37 and you will always worry about Cruz no matter how old that he is I don't want to worry my mom either so I really am picky and choosy on what I tell her yeah when I tell her because my mom will like hold a grudge yeah someone if they hurt me yeah exactly and now I understand why. Yeah, you understand why because they just want what's best for us. Yeah. Um, has motherhood

changed your friendships? Very much so. Yeah. I think that's probably the biggest change that I see socially is, I mean, I have some really amazing friend groups out here that are outside of like our, my friend group. Yeah. And you know some of my best friends. Of course. I have a, a girlfriend I've been best friends for about 10 years that lives in Venice and she doesn't have a kid. And it's so hard because I'm like, it's like your, my brain goes like, you used to go visit her in Venice all the time. All the time. Yeah. Yeah. And now it's like, well, your house isn't baby proof. Yeah.

And there are no kids for Kai to play with. And like, yeah, you have a dog. That's great. That's just one example. Yeah. Luke was saying to me the other day, like, um, this couple, our friends, Katie and Dylan that were really good friends with. And our friendship has grown and blossom, but they have two kids. Exactly. So you know, I noticed myself really gravitating towards my friends with kids, whether they're Kai's age or not. Yeah.

Because they can play. together but mostly because the parents really understand. Exactly. They understand what it's like and everything else. But you're tired or you just got to go, you got to leave real quick. Yeah. There's no bad blood. Yes. You just get each other on a level that you don't have to speak. Yeah. Like I came

to Kristen's house last night for football because she of course loves football and I went over there like I got there like 5.50. I left at like before 7 even probably because Cruz got tired and he was just starting to get a little overwhelmed and everything. And I was just like, sorry I got to go.

Nobody like cared. Nobody thought like, oh, she should have stayed longer. Nothing. Everybody understood. Yeah. Thanks for even like coming over. Yeah. And we understand that about each other, you know.

Parents are the most understanding, empathetic people. Yeah. For sure. What's your favorite little everyday moment with Kaya? Every morning is just the best. Like when she gets a good night, sleep. They're always always always sweet in the morning when they're little. She is the happiest girl.

in the world or if her nanny's over and they go to the park and right when she comes back and I always say hello my most beautiful girl. Yeah. And she goes, hi. And her voice gets really high. She's really girly already. Yeah. I love that about her.

Which is so crazy because when I was pregnant with her, I was like weird. She's never wearing pink. Yeah. No, she's going to be girly. Like neutrals only. I bought like beanies and like kind of boyish clothes. Yeah. Not happening.

But people always think she's a boy because she has no hair. like she doesn't have a lot of hair she looks like she's a girl like she's so girly way that sometimes if i don't have her in pink right right peachy or well when they're that little it is kind of hard when they don't have much hair and stuff but i like stick a bowing not that i really care but i'm like yeah yeah she's super girly and then and now that she's mobile like we have dance parties yeah every single day in the kitchen yeah like we tell alexa to play a song and as soon as i go Alexa play she just waits for whatever song it is yeah and then we dance dance dance dance shake it, shake it.

So cute. It's the highlight of my day, every day. What do you think your child has taught you about unconditional love? Literally everything. Yeah. I thought I knew unconditional love, because I do feel like I love very unconditionally. I love very hard. And that's, yeah.

And it's like with her, I mean, she literally can do no wrong. Exactly. Everything's just a learning thing. It's crazy because I don't want to even take this the wrong way because she doesn't understand all my words but I always cook, Kyia, why do you abuse me and you don't abuse dad-da? Because we'll all be in bed together, whether it's like snuggling or watching a move the day or she's sick or something like that. And with Luke, she just like climbs on him and cuddles him and with me, it's like the whale tail smacks or she'll like headbut me and it doesn't

hurt her. It only hurts me. Yeah. I'm like, well, why me? But it's like, it doesn't matter. That's how cruises with me too. That's how cruises with me. I think that we're their safe space. Yeah. You know? And I love that. You know, I do too. I'm like, so she chose me? Okay, I'll take it. Exactly. Okay.

If we had a mom's night out together, where are we going? We got to do more. If I don't do more. If I could figure out where we were going, where we were going, that would be helpful. We sit there like, she will, Kristen will come over sometimes and we're like, okay, we're going to do a night out. We're going to go somewhere. And we will sit there and think about where we're going longer than we actually

go to the place. And we live here. We've lived here for quite some time. Sometimes we get glam. sometimes we just do our makeup here. Yeah. What are we going to do? And we're like,

like that restaurant again? And it's not going to be late. No. No, and then we go eat and then we come back here. Yeah. And put our pajamas back on. We love being at my house. It's like.

It's my safe space. Yeah, exactly. Oh my goodness. That's so funny. Okay. So this is a question about me. Before I came, before I became a mom,

what kind of mom did you think I would actually be? Oh, I knew you were going to be exactly the mom that you are. Really? Yeah. Well, number one, I remember within the first two days of meeting you and I was like, you know, like, what are your dreams? Yeah. Blah. And you told me that you always wanted to work with special needs kids. Always. Yeah. And that just speaks volumes about who a person is and to their core and how loving and helpful they want to be and how gentle. And then when you had Cruz, I was like, best mom ever. And then Cruz gets diagnosed with autism. And I'm like, you were literally chosen to be the parent. I think I was 100%. Yeah. And he's thriving too. And I just,

yeah, he just makes me so proud every single day. He's doing so good. Everyone always wonders how he's doing. He's doing amazing just so everybody knows. He's so happy. So, so healthy, so strong. Only getting better and better every day and just, you know, he's hilarious. He's so funny. He's so smart. He's so smart. And Kristen, you are great mom. I did tell you when you were in when you got pregnant, I said, your kid, is going to be so flipping smart. Yeah. We would joke about it. We'd be like,

watch our kid be a rocket scientist. And he already, even though he's still nonverbal, he is so brilliant by the things he can do. I mean, I could just like have a million dinosaurs out and he could tell you every single one. I had to Google the names and then say, point the blablerosaurus out.

And he would know it. And I was like, I had to Google that. How did you even know that? Because I didn't even know that to be able to teach that. Like, he just can retain. He retains information. He retains information. Yes. Yeah. And he can

like tell you any animal, any anything, like he's just so smart. And it's such as the best part about motherhood too is like watching them learn and retain information. Yes. I see Kai is so small. But she's already starting to jabber and she's like in the moment where I'm like, what does an elephant

say? What does a monkey say? And then she wants to do all the sounds she knows. Yeah. And then we try to learn like one or two new ones and it's like. It's so awesome. It matters in the whole wide world, but this elephant I know. It's so true. And I always knew you were going to be a great mom. And I've said this a million times, even on like when people would ask me, how do you think person's going to be a mom? I always said, well, just by the way, she is with her dogs. Like, I already knew she was going to be so responsible, so great, so caring, so loving. And just how you are as a person. You are just very, like, loyal and just loving. And you just have a big heart and you care so much. So I know you'd be a great mom. The general public that watches the shows that we've been on, it's like I am an anxious person

and I used to be a very reactive person. So I get that. And that's something I've really had to work on is not the reactivity, but like the anxiety of it all. Yeah. I was having a conversation with one of my doctors today and I said, you know, when I am, have Kaya by myself or Kaya and or my dog, Gibson, none of that exists. Yeah.

It's the easiest thing to turn off is like my. anxiety or my intrusive thoughts or like I'm upset about this thing. Yeah. Luke and I got in a little like dumb argument. It is so easy to just erase all of those things and be the person for your animals and your child. I love it. And then deal with it later.

Exactly. And I never thought I would be capable. And you are more than capable and you do awesome at it. It's very relaxing feeling. Yeah, it is. It's just we love them so much. You're our little babies. Okay.

I love this question. This is going to be a final question. Um, if we're sitting here 20 years from now doing this. podcast, what do you hope we're still laughing about? Everything that we laugh about now. I hope that we're still doing dumb girls nights and like trying to get ready and gussied up. Yeah.

We end up in our pajamas watching like Disney films or true crime. Exactly. And then we're that, but instead of being like the kid, the little ones are upstairs or at home, we're like, oh my gosh, what are they doing right now? We're laughing at our 20 year old, 20 year old kids. Yeah. See where they're at. We're, oh my God.

I can imagine. me and you, especially you because you're already such a good detective. Like, we will be like trying to figure out everything they're doing without them knowing. 100%. I mean, I hope she would just tell me. Yeah, they will. I'll still track her. Exactly.

It'll be so fun. We'll be sitting there still hot with our Botox and our lips and everything. 100%. Just got our nails done. Yeah. But we're in pajamas with no makeup on. Exactly. Oh my goodness.

We can save this episode. I need it like on a hard drive. Yeah. And we'll put it, like, put it in the ground. Like, what do you call us? Time capsule. And years later. In 20 years, we're going to listen to this back. I love it because we're definitely going to still be besties in 20 years.

I love that so much. Is there anything that you want to tease that's coming up or tell everybody where to find you, even though I'm sure everybody listening already knows how to find you. You all just find me at Kristen Doty everywhere because at Kristen is taken. Of course. And then James May, of course. Yeah. My T-shirt line, we have baby clothes.

we're about to come out with toddler clothes. I love it. My baby's growing up. And I tease this a little bit of my Instagram the other day. I can't say too much quite yet. But very, very soon, my new podcast is going to come out. I did not ever tell anyone why I stopped the last one. I just stopped.

I was pregnant. I was going through postpartum. I was having a really difficult time as any of you that follow me in any capacity, know. And I just kind of fell off the map. I had to let something, like responsibility go. Yeah. It was too hard.

weekly in the same time. Yeah. What I was going through, I had to just drop a responsibility. However, I'm coming out with a new one with a friend of mine, Katie, is one of my closest friends. You guys don't know her very well yet, but you will. And we're going to talk about motherhood, millennial stuff, and sports. Sports.

Sports. So it's really going to be like a jack of all trades for millennial chicks, but especially women who want to know more about. sports. Katie is like an encyclopedia and I am just someone who's super passionate and I don't know everything. Yeah. We welcome all women that want to know more about sports. There are no dumb questions. I love it. Yeah. So I'm very excited. I love it. Well, thanks for coming on. I've missed you on the podcast. I'm sure everybody's so happy to hear from you. Your podcast is so much fun. I love you, Kristen. Thanks everybody for tuning into another episode of When Reality Hits. We will see you

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