When Reality Hits with Jax and Brittany - Leva Bonaparte

Episode Date: January 17, 2025

Southern Charm / Southern Hospitality's Leva Bonaparte joins Brittany to talk how she got her start with the Southern Charm cast and was approached about her own spin off, bouncing back from pregnancy, the CRAIG CONOVER / PAIGE DESORBO breakup, the challenge of balancing your marriage and your business, advice to women starting their own business AND the rumors about JOE BRADLEY and LUANN DE LESSEPS!!! We have deals for you! Hungryroot: Got mouths to feed? Go to Hungryroot.com/realityhits and use code "realityhits " to get 40% off your first box AND a free item of your choice FOR LIFE! Nutrafol: Got thinning hair? Get $10 off your first month’s subscription AND free shipping at Nutrafol.com and use code REALITYHITS Quince: Upgrade your closet! Go to Quince.com/jb for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! G-Defy: Need comfy sneakers? Use code REALITYHITS at Gdefy.com for 50% off all orders! Progressive: Need new insurance in the new year? Head to Progressive.com to try their Name Your Price tool today!

Hello everybody and welcome back to another episode of When Reality Hits. Before we get started with our fabulous guest this week, I wanted to talk a little bit about the California Los Angeles wildfires. It's been absolutely devastating here. We didn't have an episode last week because there's just so much stuff going on, so I want to apologize for that. But I feel like everybody sees in the news how devastating it's been here in LA. And me personally, I'm very grateful to be able to still be in my home right now.

We were on evacuation watch for three days straight. I was really scary to wake up in the morning and see all the smoke everywhere outside. And you know, we didn't know what was going to happen for us but I just want to say all my prayers and love to everybody that's been you know involved in these fires and everybody that's lost their homes and their businesses. I'm just so so sorry and you know my thoughts and prayers are with you. I think it's time to introduce our guests. We have the wonderful and fabulous Leva on the episode today. She is from Southern Charm and Southern Hospitality Hello, how are you? Good, how are you? Start to get like empathetic tears. I'm like

I'm such a crybaby when I think about like kids and families and stuff. I'm just like literally like, okay, it's been really hard here. And like I'm kind of like my voice is a little shaky because I could tell that's why I got emotional. I heard your voice and I was like, oh, keep it together. Love. I keep it together. Even just like talking about it is really sad.

Just seeing, you know, waking up the first day and coming outside and like ashes everywhere, all over our cars, all over everything. You can see the clouds of smoke just like barreling through the sky. It was pitch black during the day. So the first day for me personally was extremely scary because to be actually be able to see the smoke and see the ash and know that so many people are losing

their homes and their businesses, it was just extremely, extremely heartbreaking. But what was I mean, and not insured, which is like, double whammy, you know, like, it's like, there's irreplaceable things, but that's a massive, I mean, that could destroy people's lives on a whole other level, Like there's no rebuilds. So that it was like, yeah, when I was watching it, I mean, it's billion dollars. Watching it, cause I, anything I see about it, I was just like, my anxiety just keeps piling.

And I'm like, you know, when you can't, you're not there and you're not like feet on the ground and you're like, okay, I can donate, but like, I can't help this. So it's yeah, anyway. Yeah. If people are watching my stories, I've been reposting a lot of places where people can donate and different stuff like that just so that they know it's a trustworthy place to put your money because that people even

the things like this that are so horrible people still make fake sites and different things. So yeah, please donate if you can but also make sure that it's going to something that is really going to help because there's a lot of fact check. Yeah. Yeah. So let's get into your life a little bit. Well, it's good to see you since when did we see each other? Where were we? We met in New York City in New York. I was like, what city were we in? We met freezing cold New York. Yes. Freezing cold. we met the time that I was

in New York to do my first live show for this podcast. I didn't realize. So that was my first live show. It was a lot of fun. I did it with my friend Zach who absolutely loves you. Yes, I love him. I was like, I just adore him. I would he'd be my best friend if we lived in the same city. Oh, yeah. Well, he is my best friend. So you can't He'd be my best friend if we lived in the same city. Oh yeah. Well, he is my best friend, so you can't say it.

I want him. He's a good one. Keep that one. I'm just kidding. I like on this podcast, since it is a reality TV show podcast, I like to hear about how you got started in reality TV. What was your casting process like? How did you end up on Southern Charm first?

OK, so little context, I had been filming like as a, like not a friend, but I was just really friends with the cast for like since season one. So Cam, who was like one of the main cast members was, like I was in her wedding. She like, I always say she lived in every room of my house, like rented every room of my house. She'd like move away, then she'd come back and I my house like rented every room I asked you like move away then she come back and I'll be like, Okay, I have this room free. And we met

on Craigslist which is hilarious because that long ago it was that effing long ago. Did you know that's how Tom jacks and Tom Schwartz met each other? Because no way like for rooming. Yeah, Tom St. Abel found Tom Schwartz on Craigslist and that's how they know each other. That's like for rooming. Yeah, Tom Stainable found Tom's on Craigslist. And that's how they all know each other. That's kind of how that area. Yeah, yeah. So that's how me and cam started was like a Craigslist.

Like I was like, I'm looking for a roommate. That's how we used to find roommates. And yeah, and then she just came to the door and we'd seen each other out somewhere. We had one of those bathroom moments where it was like, you know, when you meet a girl and you're in the bathroom, you just start chatting, you've like had a few drinks, whatever. And you're like, Oh my god, you're so pretty. You're so fun. We should be friends. But they're just a rando that you're like never see again. Yeah, we had

met one night out. I was like, I know you and then she's like, I know you. So anyway, we ended up really like vibing. She moved in. And I the funny part was like, I had just moved from Canada. So I didn't know she had been on like an MTV show like a reality show before charm. And it wasn't until like I went out somewhere and somebody was like, yeah, your friend that's been on reality TV. I didn't really even know what reality TV was honestly, because in Canada, we don't have it. And I just moved to the States. And so I was like,

what is that? What do you mean? Wait, in Canada, you didn't have reality TV? I mean, not like that. Like it wasn't that heavy. Like, and you got to think like this was, I think when I met Cam, it was at least like, I want to say at least a decade ago, right? So it's like really long ago. Yeah. No more almost 15 years ago, almost 15 years ago that I met her going on 16, 17 years. So it was like, I had been friends with her before Charm started five to seven years or something.

So it's a long time ago. So reality TV, you guys had in the US and we would like watch some of, but it wasn't, we didn't get the channels as much, like I said, and I worked a lot. I just really didn't know what it was. And then people were like, yeah, your friend's been on TV.

And I was like, she's an actress? Like, I didn't understand. I was like, what? And then I was kind of like, Oh, I started to pick up like those MTV shows and whatever. But I still had never seen what she'd been on. But that was my first intro to reality TV. And then it wasn't until she'd moved out that she was like, Hey, love, I'm doing this show charm. And me and Lamar at the time who were not married we were like looking at we done we were doing business together a lot before we got married um but we were boyfriend and girlfriend um we were opening a club and she was like we really just like need a hang

out spot and so that's she introduced me to Whitney, Shep and Craig and um I was just like tour like giving them the tour of Republic like before like like plastic, like when we were building it up. And I was like, you guys are welcome to film here. Because Charleston was really against Charm in the beginning because it's such an old school city. Nobody wanted them to film in their venues, like none of that. And so it was just out of like friendship. We really didn't know anything.

It was just out of friendship to Cam. But we were like, sure, you guys can film in here. Like, we're not going to hate on the show. Have at you. And I mean, like we didn't really know anything know anything. It was just out of friendship to Cam, but we were like, sure, you guys can film when you're like, we're not gonna hate on the show. Have at, you know what I mean? Like we didn't really know anything of what we were getting into. That's when I met Shep and Craig and Whitney, and I took them for a tour, like through

the construction zone of Republic. And then we became friends and stuff like that. And so by season one, I was really just like, I would come along for camp, like just because I was Cam's real friend, like, and I film here and there. And so years later, I would film certain scenes, she would call me you know how you had to talk about like weird stuff when

you're filming. Yeah, well, you have to address everything that happens in this yeah, you know that was being filmed. A lot of people don't realize like, in real life, you might not have to discuss it over and over again. But when you're doing yes, see, you know, you're forced kind of to like face every single thing that every single thing, right. And some of that stuff is like, you don't any sometimes a person you

have to film with you don't trust like you might not be that close with. So she'd call me she'd be like, I have to have this like kind of more serious conversation. I don't want to have it with this person. Can you just film with me? Like, you know what I mean? Like, like a trusting space where she want to talk about getting pregnant and like she didn't feel like someone was gonna like Come for her. You know, I had no idea at the time. I was just like, oh, I'm your friend Sure, I'll come to lunch

No clue of like what the background of why she'd be filming with me, you know what I mean? And she's just like I just know that you won't chat like Say anything in it like inappropriate or like you know, I mean like I had her back. If I was gonna ask any question, it was authentic. And if I really cared about her, it wasn't like to make her look bad kind of deal, right? And so, yeah, so that's how I just started filming. And then just like fun stuff that we would have typically been at,

that I would have been at cameras on, cameras off. So I did that for a few years and then kind of never had like an affinity to be on the show. I didn't know. I didn't know much about it, but I was like busy building other stuff like doing business stuff and doing all that kind of stuff. And then it was we were offered a show a little bit later, but I was struggling to get pregnant. So someone that people do below deck came to us and they were like, hey, we really want

to do a show about your restaurants like you guys are so young and you have all these places and blah, blah, blah. And we'd almost like got like literally right at the last line of signing. And I've been struggling to get pregnant for five years. And I finally like, peed on the stick. And I was pregnant. You know what I mean? And it was the weekend that they came for us to sign the paperwork. And I was like, I can't do this. Like, I'm scared I'll lose the baby. Like, it was too stressful. You know what I mean? And so I walked away from it when I was pregnant, because I was just like, and I also had been really secretive about my struggle. And I had this kind of like, you know, I just didn't know how to be open about it, I guess,

back then. Or I wasn't willing to be, or didn't know how to be, or whatever it was. And so I just wasn't willing how to be open about it, I guess, back then. I wasn't willing to be or didn't know how to be or whatever it was. And so I just wasn't willing to share it on TV. And I don't know how to like not be real. Like, it's not my not an actress. And so, yeah, we walked away from it. And then come to like come to a couple of years later, little like two or one and a half. And I went up to Craig and I was like, Craig, I really want you to get involved in my

businesses, because I think it'd be great for the like, come in and have like an equity partnership. And you can I don't want to be out anymore. I have a kid I don't want my husband to be out anymore. Like, you be out you be the face of it. You know what I mean? And then the network came down and they want to talk to me and then they were sitting there talking to me for an entire like dinner. And they were like, why do you keep talking about Craig so much?

I was like, I thought you guys came to ask me about Craig and like if he's gonna be a partner, I don't know. And then they were like, no, we came to see if you wanna be on the show. And I was like, what? But I'm not Southern, it had always been kind of Southern folk. But I lived here, right? Yeah, it's like at this point, it's been 20 years. And so they were just like, Listen, it's not

just about someone who's been here for decades or their whose family's been here. You are the south. Like everyone knows you everyone knows who you are. Like you're everyone in the city like knows you you know what I mean? Yeah, Charleston. So I was like, Really? I don't know. Like I was just really awkward. But it was just really funny because it was such an awkward Why do you keep talking about crying? It was like I had a secret crush on her so it's so awkward and weird no I thought you guys were wanting to talk about you know anyway or like I was

some weird fan like it was just really weird they were like no no no we someone put you up put you up for being like on the show and then yeah so then I was like thrown off and then I went home and I was like Lamar, should I do it? You know, and he was like, well, if you do it, it would make sense. And we'd know if we would want to ever do our own show. You know what I mean? Yeah. Just do it.

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because you could have done it years and years and years ago but now it's like all about the timing and you know, it seems like it was meant to be for you because now you also have your own spin-off show. Right, right. It was really the universe kind of being like, here you go, here you go. And me finally being like, okay, okay. You know what I mean? But the universe definitely like gave it

to me with a bang. It was like the year of COVID. It was like crazy politics, everything. postpartum. I'd like, you know, people were just vicious to me because like I hadn't lost my baby weight. It took me a really long time to lose it. And and and I don't want to say it really took me a long time now that I think about I was like my kid was too like It's it takes a while to lose like get your body back and honestly It takes a long time and like this whole thing of people acting like oh you bounce back and some women do but I was Not that woman

and also like I'm heavy chested and that always is a rough like you almost kind of on TV look more than you are because yeah and people were so mean so awful telling you nobody can relate because I came on the show so tiny whenever I first started doing the rules. I mean, my arm was like as big as my pinky finger. I was little, I didn't have my boobs yet. And even to this day, 10 years later, I still get so much hate, like you've changed so much. I'm like, I've aged 10 years.

And I'm a big baby. You know what I mean? So no one understands what you're talking about more than me and how like people watching can be on you. I think it's different for reality TV because people think that they know us because they watch us and they live through. It's our real life.

So they're a lot more vocal about their opinions to us. And that can be extremely hard. But I've had that. It can be so hard. Yeah. It's been taking me forever. Cruise is three, almost four, and I still can be so hard. Yeah. I've had that journey. It's been taking me forever. Cruise is three, almost four, and I still have work to do.

Yeah. Yeah. Well, it takes a while. It wasn't until little was like hitting four that I was finally like, I got a boob reduction. And I was eight, because it was hard to work out, because I was like, you know, it was hurting my back. And like, oh, just a lot of things.

And honestly, quite frankly, Brittany, it wasn't a priority for me. Like getting in the groove of like, sleep, and like my child eating and like, I really wanted to soak up being with my child like being skinny was not my fucking priority. You know what I mean? Like, my priority was like this, the most amazing thing has ever fucking happened to me. And I just wanted to have all the time I could with this child. And honestly, I wasn't willing to go for like two hours a day to go work out. Yeah, no. I'm like, you're just like me, you know, like being with him is so

important to me. Like I'm with him 24 seven. He is attached. You know, that's my priority and being a mom is like the best thing that has ever happened to me. So best thing that has ever ever happened to me. And I've had a lot of good stuff happen to me. Yeah. And it's like, it's just I wanted to soak it up. I want to be with him all the time. And people forget like when you're dieting, you're cranky. Like I wanted to be a happy mom. I want to have a cheeseburger. Great. I didn't want to be like, I don't even I'm tired. I haven't

slept. I'm gonna have a carrot stick. I wanted to be a present. Happy, joyful mom. I love so yeah, coming in was like, you know, everyone's always like, Oh my god, you've lost so much weight. What did you get? I'm like, it took like he's six. You guys tell me like I started filming was like barely to it took a while. It's taken a long time. Like don't be such, you know, like, and I think I think trolls just don't think about how mean it is. Like, it's just really hurtful. Like you got up and

decided to be mean to me. I'm just waking up like, why am I on your mind? I know, I don't understand. The people that write mean comments, and I talk about bullying on social media a lot lot because I feel like it's something that we need to address, especially the women coming after other women. It doesn't make sense to me like, I would never wake up and go to somebody's page that I've never

met and be like, Oh, your boobs are too big or you know, oh, you're so fat or you look so different than you did 10 years ago or you know, is 90 like 99% of the trolls were like women and they were older women. Yeah, so it was so weird to me. I was like, how could you do this? Like or some girl that like has never had a kid and I'm like, oh my gosh, like, and at first I'd be like writing all these like, DMs and being like, this is so

inappropriate. You are a mother of three and you're a boy, you know, and then finally I was like, I'm exhausted, I don't care. Yeah, you cannot do that. I'm sure after all, you know, your years of being on TV now that you realize like you cannot be in the comment section and you always have to be real. That's the only way that reality TV is good. I feel like like being who you are,

being like real authentic friendships and things like that. And sometimes people can get in the comment section and feel like they have to change who they are because they are like, oh, I wasn't liked last season. So now I have to like be worried about it. Things I say. Is that like, I tell- How hard is it to film with people like that, Brittany?

Cause you're just like, in real life, like you're not, I'm so confused of what's happening. You're like talking to them and you're like, are you like a robotic version of yourself? Like who are you right now? And it gets awkward for you. Yeah. I think that that's why Vanderpump rules in the Valley

and Southern Charm has been so great and successful because it is real friendships. It is real people. And you know, for the Valley, a lot of our cast members that we have brought onto the show had never filmed a reality TV show before Right. I just keep telling them like be as real as you possibly can't be stay out of the comment section like it because it can affect you it can affect you but being real and honest and open is

The best way because I feel like I've gone through so much this year this this past year, and like with the Valley season two coming out, it's gonna be so hard for me to relive, but I was so open and so real, and I feel like I'm gonna help so many women in toxic relationships. Good for you. And that's my goal at the end of the day, is like if I can help as many people as I can

by doing this, that's just an extra cherry on top of everything else that I get to do. Being in this world. 100%. I think that that's the biggest thing about reality TV is just like making people feel connected and real and like that they're not alone and whatever it is that they're in or that their feelings are validated. Like it's just like some weird connection, you know what I mean?

Which I think that you can't get in a scripted show. Like you're gonna get that on reality TV. So the more authentic we are, I always say at the end of the day, I can't control the edit, but I sleep well at night. Like I know that I do write by people and I'm honest and like I just do my best and like if that's not enough for people then I'm sorry. Like I said, I sleep well at night. So yeah, you know what I mean? I think the Valley's the best show. I came out the gate like so hot.

Like it was so good. It was so it is so good. It's so good. Well, yeah, season two is gonna be even crazier. I can't imagine. Oh, geez, with you had oh geez, the people who don't who've never filmed. So yeah, I was like, Oh, is this gonna work? Like, is this really, you know, like, it kind of, I wasn't sure. Like, I don't I obviously I never hate on anything. But I was like, How is this gonna work? Like, these are fresh, fresh, like non TV people with like, oh, gee, people. But it's

so good. Well, it worked because me and Jax got to put together a list of our real friends. Right, right. Have been our real friends for a long time. And I think that's another reason why these shows that we have done work so well, because it is relationships and you already have a connection. And I was so proud of the new castmates. I thought they all did amazing.

Like I'm just so good. Yeah, it's just gonna be. Woo. Yeah, so good. And when people don't get how hard it how hard it is to be real, like it like people should get awards for that. Because there's gonna be like a reality TV realness award. Yeah, there's a lot of people that aren't that real. And so when people are that transparent and real, like they should get like a reality TV Emmy or something because it, you know,

the realest casting or something. It's hard. It's hard and a lot of people don't do it, right? It can be hard to be judged and stuff, of course. But at the end of the day, there are so many more nice comments and so many more like huge fans and supportive people that, you know, there are some trolls out there, but we have so many fans that we're

so grateful for. And sometimes just the mean comments are a little bit louder, but there's so many more nice and supportive comments. I agree. I agree. 100%. 100%. Totally right.

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Yeah, you think about Craig and page breaking up because that's all over the internet right now. I know, right? It's everywhere. It's like so much more everywhere than I thought it would be. Like here's the thing, obviously you could tell they're in love. Like when I was around them, like they were so cute and they kind of had like a fun dynamic. Like I think, you know, it was kind of, it was funny because Paige would say things to

Craig that I feel like we would like as his like friends, you know, it was kind of, it was funny, because Paige would say things to Craig that I feel like we would like as his like friends, you know what I mean? Like, so it was funny, like, she didn't just like kiss his ass. And I don't feel like he did hers, which is why I really thought, okay, they really love each other. And so when they broke up, it was sad, because you could tell they loved each other. But you could also tell the restraint because it was like you'd be at events like she couldn't be there. She's traveling. He's they both

have so much going on. Yeah, that I've seen those relationships where it's like love is maybe not enough. You know what I mean? Like, it's just like, okay, we're I'm going in this direction, you're going in this direction. And they're long distance for the most part, right? Yeah. And I didn't foresee how it was gonna work. Because Paige was I don't think Paige was ever gonna move here. Like I think she'd wanna stab herself in the eye. And I don't know that Craig would work in New York. Like I just don't think he's a New York guy. Like I think he could maybe have a second place there.

I had talked to him even about like homeschooling cause I was like, we could home. Cause I homeschool my son. I was like, you know, there's ways to do it, you know? Be in both places or whatever. So you could tell it was like on their minds. But towards the end, I don't know that I was like necessarily like shocked because I could tell like these are big things that you know, back in

the day, I think a woman would typically just be like, okay, forget my dreams and ambitions. I'm just gonna get married and move to Charleston. Yeah, I mean, and so it's a new generation where we do get we don't have to make all those concessions. And so it could just be a really epic love story. So yeah, and they'll both find amazing have I mean I checked in with them and I was like I don't want to speak on anything Cuz you haven't spoken on it. Yeah, I just feel bad and I and I reached out to page two I was like listen, I just want to let you know, like this is where I stand This is like just honest like what you know, and and I hope you're doing okay Cuz I know breakups are hard and especially to have it all out there and everyone making comments about it

And I'm sure you you how that feels, right? And it's like, it just sucks. When it's very public, it can be super hard, you know? Yeah, yeah. Not everything I can imagine. Has been very public as well. So I can kind of relate to what Paige and Craig are dealing with, but mine's a 10 year,

not to say that theirs is important, but mine's a 10 year divorce. Totally, and a marriage with a child, yeah. A mine's a 10 year divorce. Totally. A marriage with a child. Yeah. A marriage with a child. Yeah. You know, it is very hard to go through it in the public eye.

But again, it's something I feel like so many women are going to be able to relate to. And that's just what I'm thinking about whenever all this craziness is going on. But yeah, I can definitely relate. This is Kingsley. Oh, hi Kingsley. But I can definitely relate to what they'reley. Oh, hi, Kingsley. But I can definitely relate to what they're going through and how hard it is to go through something.

Because you can be embarrassed at the same time that something didn't work out whenever you were in such a public relationship. So I understand. I mean, I hate that. I always just get an empathetic stomach. It's like my stomach feels funny. I feel bad.

I'm like, ugh. It just makes me feel icky all the time for anyone whose relationship has to be like blasted and people have opinions about it and whatever because at the end of the day, it's like, there was a time you and Jax were deeply in love and like, you know, and the love probably was very much there. But shit gets complicated. Marriage is the biggest decision and the biggest decision and the hardest decision of your life.

You know what I mean? And I think we take it lightly and we just, you know, it's hard. And I definitely think that the person you choose like mirrors everything that like your triggers you and all the growth. And if the other person's not willing to grow, like marriage is not made to be and relationships are not made to be like easy. They're made to

be hard because they're supposed to be for growth. Like otherwise, it's like you just get bored and die. So you're supposed to grow and it's like if one person is not growing or you're not on the same page, it crumbles. Yeah, that's something like I did Alex Baskin's podcast. You know who Alex Baskin is? Yes, yes, yes, I do. So he's our head producer. I did his podcast.

And one of the things that he said to me really stuck with me, he's like, so you're saying basically that you're changing and Jax is staying the same. And I was like, exactly. Like I have grown so much, especially after having my son, that I wasn't going to put up with like the bullshit anymore. You know what I mean? Like, right. Whenever you have a child, especially your eyes open so much to the bathroom. Yeah. That like really, really, really happened to me and hit me hard, you know, because I was like, I can't have this going on.

I have to make sure my son sees his mother happy in a happy household and no fighting around him. Like my priorities changed incredibly. And in the beginning, I was so blinded by how much I loved him that I of course, like didn't pay attention to so many of the red flags that were going on in our relationship. You know, like we were together for 10 years. So we also had so many great moments. And I think when our course is

so hard, like being like, Oh, well, you saw the red flags in the beginning, you should never married him after he cheated on you or blah, blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, Yeah, but we were together for 10 years. We also had so many great moments. Like yeah, you don't think about I also think I also think Brittany that you saw the best in him. And I think I do think you brought out the best in him. That didn't mean he's not going to make mistakes. That doesn't doesn't mean like, things aren't gonna rear their

ugly head from time to time. But I do think that the beauty of relationships is when you can lean into like the best part of people. But if the toxic side is not growing and healing then it's like all right well I can't keep doing this and I think as moms we like we're lucky that like somehow because of our bond with the baby it's like all of a sudden we're just like I want to learn this I don't want to speak this way I want blah blah blah you know what I mean and it's like you kind of have to tell the husband like yo are you gonna read a book like are you gonna get on to tell the husband like, yo, are you going to read a book? Like, are you going to get on this page? Like, no, no, no, we're not yelling anymore.

No, we're not. Like, you know what I mean? It's like in your mind, you're like, no, no, we're not yelling. We're not doing it. Like, all the things that maybe you did as a relationship, I know for my husband, I was like, we're not doing that. Or, you know, your son's happiness is directly related

to like my happiness, my son's happiness. You know what I mean? Exactly. And it was funny, I saw this one thing and we were out with some friends and like one of the dads was like, yeah, you know, my son said, dada first and like my son, you know, like somebody was saying that.

And one of the moms leaned in and she goes, do you know why children say dad first? And he was like, no. And she was like, well, because that child literally for the first few years thinks his mom is him. He doesn't see a separation between mom and him. Because mom is a part of him. Like he's not calling for her. She's a part of him. And that was like, you know what I mean? Like, y'all understand how important our peace, our

happiness is to this child that you love. Exactly. You got it. You know, I wish you were more educated about it. I wish, you know, and unfortunately, Jack's just wasn't seeing that and wasn't changing and wasn't trying to grow. And you know, that was extremely hard for me. And you know, it's still hard because our course isn't finalized yet.

There's still moments of weakness, right? You know, I can miss him at times because we were together for so long, but I'm just in such a different place now and, you know, just trying to be happy and do everything for him is the very most important thing to me. So, I feel a lot better. You know, it's been on January 24th, the day before my birthday, will mark the year that I separated from Jax. Wow. Yeah, so it's kind of crazy that it's been that long. It doesn't feel like it's been that long,

but I did spend seven months in Airbnbs and rentals and things. As you can see, now I'm finally back in my house. And this is my house now, like 100% of my own. It's in my name, it's mine. So- What a sense of peace. Yeah. Yes. I feel a lot safer now. I feel like just so much better that to know that like me and Cruz aren't gonna have to pack

up and leave every couple months. I rental leases up or like, right. He's booked for something or you know, that's what I dealt with. I can't imagine Bernie. Yeah, that's be that's not just hard. That's like beyond. Yeah, hard. So yeah, especially when I love my house so much and I had you know, I made this house a home. Like I did everything here. I you know, this is my house and it just will awful to not be able to stay there. But now I'm finally back. So that's great.

Great despite what's going on in California, like at least there's, you know, give you some advice that you're there and you have, and also for your son. I mean, it's just like the stability of that. You know what I mean? It's great. And you know, and hopefully Jax just for his own relationship with his son will do the work that he needs so that you guys can like co parent well together, you know what I mean? We're trying we are slowly getting better at the co parent because I'm not as angry as I was.

It has been a year. Yeah, yeah. Trying to let go of some of that anger. Yeah, that's like that's gonna take me a while. So everything's perfect. It's like resentment. Yeah, a lot of you kind of feel like the other person ruined your dream. You're like, this was supposed to be the fairy tale and you were not like

getting married in a castle. You ruined our fairy tale. Please just take back therapy. You read a book, you know. Exactly. Yeah. When Reality Hits is sponsored by Hungry Root, they take care of the weekly grocery shopping, recommending healthy groceries and meals tailored to you. Want some protein?

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Hungerroot.com slash reality hits, code reality hits. You've been married for 10 years, right? Yeah, over 10 years. Yeah. And you guys have five different businesses together? Is it five? Well, we have, we have, yeah, like we have the four, well, coming on five restaurants, but we have multiple different businesses together.

So we do real estate development. We have like, now we have like a production company because we are EPs on the new show. So like we have a lot of things. Yeah, going on. We always have like since before we were even married. So what makes it complicated? I can relate to that. But obviously, it's working for you guys. Like me and Jackson, we opened a bar together. Yeah, yeah. I'm getting ready to open my own bar, Brits WeHo. Yeah.

But I feel like ours, thank you. But I feel like it kind of hurt our relationship instead of making our relationship stronger. So what kind of advice would you give to other married couples who are thinking about opening businesses together and stuff like that? Like what would you say would help like strengthen the relationship instead of like pushing each other away?

So like before we had little, we would kind of like, listen, we would fight. We would fight about the business and we'd fight about marriage and we'd fight about like all of it. And our coping mechanism was just like, okay, well we're on date night, we're not talking about work. We're on like, it's after five, we're not talking about like, that was our first

strategy. But you know, we some I always used to say, like, our arguments make beautiful things, including our child, you know, I mean, like, I fight for the details, he fights for like, what you and I mean, like, we have different, we end up making a beautiful space, a beautiful restaurant together. Once we have little, it was too much. It was just too much. And we really had to designate like wheelhouses.

Like I'll deal with the staff, you deal with operations. Like we really had to stay in our corners. And if I didn't think he was doing something right, I had to zip it, which is very hard for me. Very hard, girl. But I was like, I kept thinking, too toxic for little like I'm not going to fight over wallpaper or like, or like, you know, whatever it was, like, I'm not going to fight over like, why the hell did you put

that stupid ugly light in the box? You know, like, or whatever? Because that's what you fight about, right? It was like, No, I don't think we should hire this person. No, I don't think that wallpaper is great. No, I don't think that time. I don't think that opening hire this person. No, I don't think that wallpaper is great. No, I don't think that time. I don't think that opening weekend is good. No, I don't like that con you know what I mean? So it was like, I just had to zip it. I just had to zip it. And that was probably the hardest thing I ever had to do. And to date, we're doing it

like we're opening a new space. And there's just things I'm like, handle your side. I don't know. Basically, choose your battles, pick and choose your battles. And now our therapist has said that I should when we want to go into each other's wheelhouses, we have to ask permission. Okay, you say, Do I have permission to give you some, you know, criticism or feedback on like this part of the project? You know what I mean? And he might say, and then I will always premise it with like,

I don't want you to get upset, but it's killing me or whatever it is. I mean, like, so that kind of thing. So don't be mad at me for saying this, but. And if, and he might be like, not today, like my nickname's Lulu, not today Lulu. Like I'm not here for it today Lulu. Or I'll just be like, leave me alone today.

You know what I mean? Because it's like, it might not be the right day or the right time. So that's how we've done it post child is like we're very you're this part, I'm this part, you know what I mean? And also, we've stepped away from like the forefront of the business. Like we're not in there every night, we have floor managers that was really hard on the marriage is like, in the space Friday night, Saturday night, like you know, like I had I popped out a baby Wednesday, he had to be back in Republic, like working

the floor Friday, Saturday, Sunday, and I'm like balling. Yeah, it was part of you know, it's really hard. That was something I was gonna say because I feel like, like I loved opening the bar with him. I knew it was gonna be such a great opportunity. And it still is. It's doing great and everything. But I feel like the issue with us was that he was going there all the time. And he was partying there.

It's not like he was just going in, being sober, taking photos with people. He was in there partying. And then I was dealing with the hangovers and the backlash from the night before. And it really put a strain on our relationship. And I am very grateful for the bar still now that I'm also getting my own so I don't take it for granted by any means but I

think that you have to have some kind of a balance and that's something I kept trying to push like we have to have a balance you can't I know it's important for us to be there but you have to have balance you can't be in there every single night or if you're going in you can't be partying have balance, you can't be in there every single night. Or if you're going in, you can't be partying every single night. Like, it's, it's, you have to have massive discipline. Luckily, like Lamar and I are not big, like drinkers and stuff like that. But St. Jackson, I are.

If you are, if you are really requires like a number in your head or like real things like I we have managers where we're like, you know, we don't let anyone that works for us drink. That's good. That way it just like creates an environment where it's not like the bartenders getting drunk and whatever and we have tricks. So like sometimes when people want to order, let me get you a shot will always go how about tequila and bartenders know to give us a water shot. You know what I mean? Like so we have little

tricks that we play because you're hosting and you want to feel you don't want to offend people and like, like a stick in the mud. And so it's a really tough thing. And at some point you have to go like, you know, y'all have fun. Like I've had times where we were like, you're going to leave your own guests. I was like, I have to like, I know it's only 1230, but like, I got to go home. Yeah. I want y'all to have fun. Here's some shots. Here's some other people to have, you know, I mean? Like I had like, and that's really how, like my staff at Republic, it was like, I would send Joe over, I would send Bradley over,

I would send, I'd be like, go party with them, you know what I mean? Like get off shift and just go host them, you know what I mean? Because Lamar, that's how the whole me wanting Craig to be involved, because I was like, you're single, you're, you know, back in the day, I was like, you go party with everyone,

because I'm tired of like being in the space at that point, right? But you do, back in the day, I was like, you go party with everyone because I'm tired of like being in the space at that point. Right. But you do bar business. Yeah, what? Yeah, you can't walk away in the bar business. You just can't you still got to be in the space. And that's hard. But the flip side is like, you know, we get the weekday like we get a lot more time with our child and we just have to be present and understand that like, okay, you know, Sunday mornings and Saturday mornings might be slow and you know, we are up later or maybe somebody's had a few drinks and it just is what it is.

But like, unlike other people, like dad gets to take him to school on Monday and gets to like hang out with them. You know what I mean? Like, so you just gotta take it for what it is. You know, well, I'm talking to you about all this stuff because as I said, my bar will be opening soon, hopefully by March. And, you know, I'm not going to be the type of person that's in there every single day, but I will be in there like once a week. So right, right. And I'm getting to

design it, which is like my favorite part, because I love like, yeah, and doing things like that. Like, yeah, most of the fun part. Yeah. I did a lot of that for Jax's, but now like I'm stepping away from Jax's. Like I'm still part of that. But now that me and Jax are getting divorced, like I am focusing on Brits

and that's gonna be like my place and he's gonna be at Jax's. And I don't know, honestly right now, cause we are going through so much, I probably won't step foot in Jax's. Yeah. If he doesn't feel comfortable for me right now. Yeah.

It's just because of, you know, the things that he's been doing since our separation that have also been very public. Like I don't feel comfortable being in there. Cause then I'm like, I don't know. I feel like he's hooked up with this girl or doing her. Yeah, you don't want to get triggered.

I don't know. Yeah. And it's just like, that's hard for me. Like I love Jax's. I wish I could still could go in there. But it's just gonna take me a minute to like get over that part of what's going on in my life because it's crazy. And you don't want to get triggered and you don't want to get like, look out of pocket and people what people don't

understand is like, this business is different. You're not showing up to like his insurance job. Yeah. Wrong. Maybe maybe you know, you have like a fling at your day job, but it's just so different. It's so different. It's so different. And I think that that's a healthy boundary. And then like maybe at some point,

you know, you'll be able to both support each other. You know, that's the ideal that maybe like a couple years from now, the ideal will be that Jax will be able to show up to your place and you'll be able to show up to his and you'll support each other at events. And like, that would be the ideal, right? That eventually, eventually see that. When you're healed and ready and come in time,

everything comes in time. It's just gonna take time. And, you know, like I said, I'm already getting better. I'm already feeling better. Yeah. But there's just still some boundaries that you know, like I said, I'm already getting better. I'm already feeling better. Yeah, but There's just still some boundaries that I just cannot deal with right now, you know And of course and that's one of them you actually loved him Still still do love him. But yeah, it's hard version of him

You know, it's hard because I ended I had to end a relationship with somebody I was still very much in love with. And like that's one of the hardest things that you could do, you know, it's like, it's a lot easier to stay sometimes and people don't realize that like, especially with a house and a son, it can be so much easier to stay. But I knew it was time and I had to leave and that was like for me. Right. Of course.

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Yeah, that's such a compliment. I definitely do not have like, ponies in my backyard. Live on like a mountain somewhere. I'm just like, you know, so yeah, it's a total compliment. She's like iconic. Yeah. But of course, I'm like, you know, just in a different stage of life, a different stage in my career. And I think that she's her own, you know, and I guess I'm my own, but yeah, I'm a Lisa Vanderpump fan.

I'm a Vanderpump fan, but also I feel like our show is so different in the way Lamar and I run our businesses is so different and stuff like that. So, I mean- But there are a lot of similarities. I was trying to catch up on the new season before I talked with you today of Southern hospitality. You know, it's like remind me so much of Vanderpump rules when we were all like working in the restaurants and like the

early seasons because everybody sleeps with each other. There's so much drama going on, you know, like Emmy and Emmy and Will. Yeah. Okay. like Emmy and, Emmy and Will? Yeah. Okay, Emmy and Will reminded me a lot of like, Jack's back in the day, like how I was so in love and didn't want to see what was going on. And I was kind of watching that like, oh man,

you know, that kind of reminded me a little bit where I didn't want to see, you know. Yeah, you're just like blinders on, like you don't want to hear it, you don't want to see it. And it's hard because like everything I get it like for them. They're like, what are the real facts? You know what I mean? Because everything gets blown up and everyone picks everything up. And like to date, I don't know all the facts. But

I do know that like she was really hurt by some of the things he did do, which were just like speaking about her in a negative way. And like, like I said, it's just I mean, there's so much more even like the outskirts and you know this, it's not even just that cast. It's like the 1020 people around them. Yeah, there's so much drama all the freaking time. So yeah, that makes for great reality TV. Not literally the best TV true because a lot of times like I

would get DM and like Jackson's doing this or that and I would know wasn't true because I would be right. So it's like right in the public eye a lot of people like to stir stuff up. So I get why me is being like, standoffish about it and like not wanting to do things because there are a lot of people that do that just to get in and cause drama and yeah, hope to be like the Miami girl on better poke rules that gets brought in. Like, you know, there's a lot of people that do stuff just to stick it in the

weasel in. Yeah, yeah. So it's like they're they're almost like a new generation where they know people some people lie but on the flip side I'm also like y'all are on TV like maybe don't do that. How do you think you are gonna keep it quiet? Like I don't. You probably will get caught. Yeah, like maybe don't come in and say all this stuff in front of everyone and think

that it's not gonna get brought up. That's the wildest part to me that I'm like, how did you guys think, like, how do you think this is gonna work? Right. So yeah, that's part of it. And part of it, like, these kids don't care. Like, they do you think this is gonna work? Like, right. So yeah, that's part of it. And part of it, like, these kids don't care. Like, they don't care. Like, they don't care what's on.

Like, at first I used to get so stressed out. I'm like, oh my God, put some clothes on. What are you doing? You know, I was just like, and they were like, they literally did not care. And I was like, okay. I'm just like talking to a wall. I feel like I just aged myself.

I'm over here like worrying about what would your mother think? And like, I'm like, great. I love that. If you had to pick one employee on Southern hospitality, who would be your favorite? Oh gosh.

I don't know if I can pick a favorite. I think my favorite like changes month to month. I think right now my my little fave would probably be Michaels because like, he's so adorable. He's great at work. He's so young. He needs so like, you just want to mother him like you're just like, let me what do you need? Honey? Do you need a casserole? Like, you know, don't you know, make sure you have dinner before your shift, you know, because he's really young, he's

taking a lot of responsibility. And he this season, I think that he's just been so like for a newbie to be that transparent, like, and as you guys watch, like, this shit is complicated. Because with their generation, it's just like, there's just so many layers of like, okay, in my day and age, it was like, there's just so many layers of like, okay, in my day and age, it was like, you would be like, okay, I date guys, right? There was no like, I'm dating a guy today. I'm dating a girl tomorrow. I'm dating two guys yesterday. Like

it's like their generation is so complicated, because love is love. They date all different people. Yeah, so complicated. And then in Charleston It's like most of them half of them are from here half of them have like moved here because tons of people just move here because it's a great city and Easy to get hops hospitality work and they get paid a lot You know what I mean for what it costs to live here like they're living pretty good lives, you know They're not like struggle bus or anything. So

Yeah, so it's just like these different kinds of people. It's a lot of innate drama. And so it's like for the newbie, for a newbie that's 20 something years old, like him just being so open. I'm proud of him. I think he had a really good season. So he's my favorite right now. I did meet him whenever I was in New York with you guys.

And I came to this Southern charm party. Premier party. Yeah, he's like the tallest one. Premier Party. Yeah. He's like the tallest one in the room. Yeah. Yeah. He was very sweet. He's a handsome man too.

He is. He really is a handsome, handsome guy. Yeah. But that makes me Sweetheart. That makes me happy for you that it's working out with like a brand new employee and he is very young and you know, you see positivity in his career there, I'm sure.

So that that's great for you as well. Yeah, I'm hopeful. But you know, everybody gets on TV for a couple of years and then you're just like, oh my gosh, who are you? Where's the nice kid I met? Why are you so extra? Well, listen, I haven't changed. I mean, people say whatever they want,

but I feel like I'm always myself. I'm always gonna be that Kentucky country girl that just happens to live in LA now and have more things on my plate more things going on but like, I'm never gonna change who I am like that's not I love that about you. I say let me change who I am. They will like yeah and be like Britney. Yeah. No, no, no. Of course. I'm yeah in perfect moments. Of course, I get into arguments with you. Yeah, of course, but I'm perfect moments. Of course I get into arguments with people. Yeah, of course.

But I'm such an empath and I always feel so badly about it. Like that's never gonna change. Like I always get the first to apologize. That's just, you know, and hopefully with the new people on the show and stuff, they'll stick to their code and who they are. Cause that's what I'm hoping. I kept telling them, I was like,

don't lose the friends you have now. Yeah, friends are going to keep you real. Those friends that aren't on television, like they're going to like call you out when you're being an asshole. Like keep those people. Exactly. So because it's not cute to know. I still have friends that have been my best friends since the third grade that I talked

to. You know, right. I think it's important to stay like grounded in that sense and like keep who you are. This show is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Do you ever find yourself playing the budgeting game, shifting a little money here, a little there, and hoping it all works out?

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by state law. Not available in all states. So I always ask all my guests that are on reality TV. If you could be on any other reality show, what would it be? And why? Oh, gosh. I guess it'd be Housewives. I love Miami Housewives. It's like close to me and I'm there all the time. So maybe it'd be that

I feel like you can definitely be a housewife. I mean, you've got that status. You've got the marriage you got, you know, I think I could really roll as a housewife. Like I think I could rumble with the housewives. Like I don't have that much opportunity on charm because it's like everyone's so much younger than me that I feel like an asshole. But I feel like on a housewife show I could I could rumble. Oh, if you So who would be your favorite reality TV star of all

time? Oh, I don't know if I have that. I love so many housewives. Like I love all the housewives like franchises. And I love the Vanderpump franchise. Like also all the girls I met, I will say that I've met a lot of housewives that were amazing in person and some were really disappointing. I was like, Oh, you're like, not nice. Yeah, I was like, Oh, I loved you. Like, why are you so, you know, but everyone I met on Vanderpump, the girls, sorry, guys, all really nice and really like normal and nice and like kind and like, you know what I mean?

Like just not assholes. Like they were just nice people. Yeah. All the ones that I met and I was like, oh wow, you've been on TV for a long time and you're just like regular schmugler and nice and smiling and having just a normal conversation like good for you. And it's funny because we had Bill Langworthy, your producers for a while and I was I was saying to him how I met a few of the Vanderpump girls at BravoCon

and I was like, I was so surprised at like just how normal and nice they're like, in juxtaposition to some of the housewives that I'd met that I was like, yeah, you're not. But that's very true. That's very true. And it's really cool because like being on Bravo, we all get to know each other. Like I'm not really a Housewives fan. Not that I wouldn't be if I watched it, but like I don't really,

I've never really gone into like watching it. But I'm gonna thank so many people that I've met in like real life. You know what I mean? People that follow them on Instagram. But I am a fan of so many people that I met in real life. Like Nene Leakes was so amazing to me. Kim Zolziak I've got no thought on anymore.

I've not met either one of them. They were so iconic on Housewives of Atlanta. So iconic. But just me and all those people have been so nice to me. Teddy is nice. Tamara is always nice. I could I feel one. Yeah, there's a lot of good ones. I love I love Atlanta. I love Potomac. I love Beverly Hills. I love like Miami like I literally can go on and on. I've I have been a Bravo fan way before I was on Bravo. So you know, when I was on Bravo, I

was like, this is so freaking weird. Like when I was like, this is weird. I was different. I love Bravo was like, this is weird. I was different. I love Bravo, obviously. Never, ever, ever. I love it to death. It's the best. But I wasn't really that much into reality TV

before I got on it. So I didn't know who Jax was when I met him. A lot of people like had this narrative that I DM'd them and tried to get, I'm like, no, we actually met at a bar. And I met Katie Maloney first. Yeah. We started hanging out, talking,

taking shots with each other. Then Jax walked up to me. I didn't walk up to Jax. Yeah. But still, there's like still this narrative out there that I like chased Jax down and all this stuff. I'm like, I'm gonna get him. Yeah, in the DMs, ew.

No. Yeah. You're like, look at me. Yeah. Hello. He came up to me, you guys. He DM'd to me. Right. Well, before we go, you guys. He came up to me. Okay.

Well, before we go, I just wanna ask a couple questions from fans because they wrote in a lot of questions for you. And I always like to give them a chance to ask questions and stuff. Okay, this is from at KHeart905, best advice for a woman about to start a new business. Okay, so I would definitely say I think the best thing one of the words of advice I would say is like let your circle know just be like hey

I'm starting a business. I don't know like, you know what it's going to entail in the next year So if I'm not at a birthday if I'm not like, if I'm not like the best friend that I would like to be like, if I can't show up for you the way that I want, I'm really investing this really special thing for myself, almost like I'm growing a baby. Yeah. Like don't like hang on for me, you know what I mean? Kind of deal. And and they don't have to give details of the business because I definitely think they're our dream stealers. When you're

starting a business, when it comes to your actual business, I think that you pick very, very specific people, you do not share your business with a whole ton of people. I think you pick very like, I would say one or two people that are like your major cheerleaders. And you share like the actual details of your business with those two people. I think as women, we really you can start a business and then you're like, I'm failing as a sister, I'm failing as a friend, like I'm failing as you know, and

you get down. And when you're starting a business, you need all the energies, like you need all the energies for the bad days, for the days the bank account looks like crap for the days like you start to doubt yourself, you need all the energy. So I think you pack away that and you go, okay, my friends and everybody like get that like, I can't, I'm not the best version of myself. I'm putting everything into this thing. You know what I mean? And I also think that when you're starting a business, it's really important to sort of pare down in all ways of your life. Like what is there's a quote that says you can have everything, but you can't have it all at once.

And I think that's a very important quote. Just like we talked about, I didn't care about being skinny when I had my baby. It wasn't the season of that. You know what I mean? And if you're building a business, that first year, it's the season of that business. You're going to miss important things. You're not going to be able to afford certain things. You're going to have to make decisions that make sense for this baby that you're building.

You know what I mean? And so my best advice would be to let your circle know so they're hanging on for you. They're not like, what's she doing? Why is she like, you know what I mean? You don't want extra drama. And then the second would be to find like the two cheerleaders or three people in your life that like on your bad days, you can go get a drink or go get dinner. And they're just like, you got this girl.

Like, you know, I even the friends that are like, you got this girl. Like, you know, I, even the friends that are like, you need a loan? I know you're gonna pay me back. Like you need that little circle of people that just ride for your dream and you ride for theirs. You know what I mean? And then go in with that and make decisions, very calculated decisions of everything

where you're spending your money so that you, your dream never has to like, if you're having a bad few months, you have a reserve because you've made different decisions you know what I mean like don't buy don't buy the purse don't buy the stay out of like marshals and buying all the knickknacks for the house like you know whatever it is like yeah just make make the small decisions so there's a little put away because you don't want to lose your dream because you just couldn't make ends meet and that can happen Sometimes you know, all right I think that's great advice and I know that they're going to appreciate that we're gonna do another question

This is from at Sasha underscore key underscore Her thoughts on Joe Bradley hooking up with Lou and the icon Yeah, so I knew about that And I just couldn't say anything. You know, I just was like, oh, and it was so awkward because I'm friends with Danielle. I'm friendly with Luan. You know, I'm like, obviously Joe, I'm like friends with his mom, you know, like it was just all the awkwardness.

So I couldn't say anything. I couldn't say anything at reunion. I couldn't, you know, I think it's amazing. I mean, I want to be Luanne. But I know she's so like living your fucking best life. I heard somewhere that she called him like little Elvis, which I thought was hilarious. Oh, my god. I don't know if I see that as a comma. But she's just hilarious. And she came to

Charleston. She's just like living her best life. And I love that for her. Yeah. Joe loves like an older girl like Joe. Yeah, he just loves like an older girl. He's so charming. I think that's why moms love him. And like I send all my mom friends from like the country club or wherever it is like to Joe. And they're like, Oh, we met Joe is so great. He got us a table. He's like, so charming. I touched his chest. You know, I'm just like, Oh, what's going on? I love him. You know, okay, so we are, you

know, we're just saying that icon and it's hilarious that they're in that like restaurant bar wherever like typical like New York Housewives like wherever that bar is that they're not like restaurant bar or wherever like typical like New York Housewives like wherever that bar is that they all go to hook up or whatever. So okay, I'm gonna ask you one more question before I let you go. We kind of hit on this a little bit, but I just want you to ask you. This is from at modern muse crystals best way to manage mom guilt as an entrepreneur balancing kids and business. Because I think we talked more about like, chips,

but how do you have mom guilt? Yeah, so I have, you know that I was actually just like, I was I was kind of cranky yesterday. I was lying in bed. And I was like, I was like, just not the best mom yesterday. Like, I feel like I was really hard on my son. You know what I mean? Like, I have my my patience was low. And I was like I was really hard on my son. You know what I mean? Like, my patience was low. And I was like, you know what? I'm going to wake up tomorrow, and I'm going to live in, like, yes, I'm going to live in

hugs and kisses and, like, reminders of everything that I feel like I didn't do yesterday. Because I mean, at the end of the day, we can't, when we're working and we're moms and we're wives and we're friends and we're sisters and like all of this stuff, we are not going to be able to show up for all of that every day. Yeah. And so you just have to know that the normal is that you are going to just just showing up is is iconic when you're when you're a mom of especially a smaller child, just showing up and that was really hard for me because I'm kind of a

perfectionist. Like I was the girl that like wouldn't go out if like I felt like fat or I felt my hair was off or like I didn't have my nails done like I would get in my head and I just like if I wasn't prepared for a meeting I would like not I postpone it you know what I mean? Like I couldn't show up. Not at my best. And I think mom hood made me realize like no I'm gonna show up with gray hair and my nails chipped and not prepared for the meeting and like not looking my you know what I mean? Like I just got to

show up. And so I think that at the end of the day, you just got to be easier on yourself. You're not always going to be that perfect mom, but children don't see the day to day they see the full like it's it's the full story of childhood. Right? And so you just got to remember that. Like he's not stuck on yesterday. He's stuck on this year. This year was amazing.

And like his mom is doing really incredible things. And so you just have to think of the full picture, the full picture of what we are doing as moms and working and the kids and all of it, especially like this generation where it's like, well, damn, I gotta be like cooking organic, whatever, you know what I mean? Like, I need to be a doctor and a cook and a farmer

and like a business woman. Like we have got to give ourselves grace. And I think that at the end of the day, being as present as you can with when you are with your children, I think is really important, putting the phone down, being very present. And then when you're not there, do what you need to do. And then just come back and know, listen, my relationship with my child is a full life message. It's not today. It's a full life message. That's great. So on build is so real. It's so real. You can get your head so fast.

Like, oh my god, we did today. I feel so bad. You know, just like things like that. so real. You can get in your head so fast, like, oh my God, we didn't even know today. I feel so bad. You know, just like things like that. It's so real. Yeah. And I will say as a mom, everybody has it. Everyone.

Everyone has it. But the one. Cookie cutter mom still has mom guilt. Like every single person out there. Oh, totally. You know? Totally. You can't be there for 100% of everything,

especially if you want your mental health and you are doing other things that need to fill your cup too, you know what I mean? And I do think the one thing that I did do when I had a child is I no longer showed up for things that I didn't really want to be at. So that's where I like eliminated like any FOMO. Yeah. Like, yeah, like I was like, okay, one friend who's had 17 events this year, you get me to show up to two, like I

cannot be at all 17 because I'm putting my kids to bed. You know what I mean? Like, I'm going to show up for what I have. And if you can't continue to be my friend, or like you can't, you don't think you know, like, you got people like you film with or like, oh, you didn't come to this, you didn't come to that. And you're like, I'm, I'm in I'm in my mom's season, like, you're my friend, and you get that I can't be at everything. Maybe other of the girls can, but like,

I'm not in that season. But like, I am your friend, I have your back, I, I want to send the flowers, I want to wish you the best, but like, I have to choose my child over just like showing up to somewhere, because I don't want someone to be mad at me. I'm not doing that anymore. Yeah, that I ain't doing you know what I mean? So that's great. Yeah. I think that's a big big co factor to you know, I love that. Thank you so much for being on here today. This has been so great.

Thanks for having me. Can you tell everybody where to find you like your Instagram handles and you know, yeah, Southern charm and Southern hospitality on Bravo. Check that out if you're not already. Yeah, please. Where they can find you. Yeah, I'm just at love a bone apart on Instagram. And yeah, please tune in to both shows. You know, they're both exciting this year. Thanks for having me, Brittany. You're such a ray of

sunshine. Keep You're such a ray of sunshine. Keep that going. Well, thank you. I try. I love it. I love it. Thank you so much for being here. Not everybody has that, Brittany.

So you gotta do something. Well, thank you. Thank you. Well, it's hard to be trying to say who I am according to the pictures. I love it. Who I am. So thank you so much.

I've had such a great time with you and I learned so much from you and I looked up to you in many ways. So especially starting my own bar business and everything. Yeah, I'm so excited for you. And don't hesitate. You can text me anything you need. You know what I mean? Thank you so much. Big hugs to that sweet baby boy.

Thank you. You're too. Thank you so much for being on When Reality Hits and I just want to say that our thoughts and prayers are with everyone in LA during this devastating time and you know just thanks everybody for listening and keep your heads up we love you so much.