When Reality Hits with Jax and Brittany - Tom Schwartz!

Episode Date: June 7, 2023

Live from New York! Vanderpump veteran, businessman, and the unfortunate confidant of #Scandoval, Tom Schwartz, shares his side of the story INCLUDING: Why he feels exploited by Tom Sandoval and the state of their current relationship - What they talked about in private about Raquel Leviss - How Schwartz's love life is currently going - The text message Sandoval sent Brittany - Why America felt so betrayed by the scandal and the future of Vanderpump Rules - AND Schwartz's new show of Fox STARS ON MARS! Check out our great sponsors!!! Hint: Go to HintWater.com and use code REALITYHITS to get Hint for just $1 a bottle with free shipping, when you order 3 cases! OR Find Hint at Wal-Mart, Target, and Kroger! AG1: Get a FREE 1-yearsupply of Vitamin D AND 5 free travel packs with your first purchase at AthleticGreens.com/realityhits  When Reality Hits is sponsored by BetterHelp! Visit BetterHelp.com/realityhits to get 10% off your first month! KiwiCo: Use code REALITY to get 50% off your first month, plus FREE shipping on ANY crate line at KiwiCo.com 

Okay, that's on. Okay, check, check. We're actually going to be recording now, Tom, just so you know, all right, Tom. I'm free. One, know what? You're going to, you want to know some? Or do you want me to know? Well, I'm going to do three, two, one. So three, two, one. Okay, we are in New York City. It's the first time doing our podcast abroad.

Yeah. We are with Jackson, Brittany, when reality hits. So first time doing our podcast abroad. Yeah. We are with Jackson Brittany, when reality hits. How's everybody doing? We have a very special guest on today. Mr. Tom Schwartz, we love so much. Jackson's man, the main of, what's it called? Best man in our wedding. Best man.

Hello Tom, thanks for being here today. I love you both. It's an honor to be here. I love New York City, shout out to New York City. My favorite city on the planet. I know you told me you're coming here Friday. I think we leave on Thursday. So we're going to be crossing each other in the sky, I think.

Yes. And Tom, thanks so much for doing this with us. I know everybody is dying to hear a little bit of your side of the story. And I'm sure you're so tired of talking about it just like everyone else. So we appreciate you. I owe him a big steak dinner. Coming in. A big steak dinner. Yeah.

So drink. You know. Yeah, just looking what I've gleaned from the internet and being in the bars with everybody who watches the show every night is, people are a little fatigued, but also they're just like this thing sort of just captivated the nation. It's so bizarre and stuff. And it's like, hold on, by the way, should I get my Theasaurus so I can mix up a nice little world word

salad for you guys? Please no. Yeah. Jacks are not the ones for that. We're not we're not very wordy. Remember I'm a country girl. Yeah, and I'm just, I got a community college education here. So. All right. Is that, is that, is that, yeah, yeah, yeah. Backspread, everyone listening, there'll be no grandiliquents. And also this will not be a journey into talking a lot without saying a little,

without saying anything. But I'll do my best to be concise and not ramble. You got it, Tom. I'm going to talk to her. I know. Talk to Schwartz. We just love you. I love you guys.

I love you guys. Why do you think that this did get so big? We're getting right into it. Yeah. It's going crazy. How big it got. Mike, can I, before we dive in, can I plug myself stars on Mars? I was going to ask you about that, but go ahead.

We were gonna get into that. But go ahead. No, we don't have to get into it. Just like, I just want to say there was such a strange, wonderful, bizarre experience. I'm so grateful I got to do it. We filmed in Cooper Petty, which is the open mining capital of the world in Australia, but it really felt like Mars. And I just want to say, I'm so grateful for the opportunity

like it was so weird waking up to Lance Armstrong in the morning and like, you know, I have Mars on Lynch walking into the room roasting me. You got Richard Sherman, Adam Rapon, Christopher Mints was my bunk mate. I got top bunk by the way, Jackson. I know you love top bunk. Oh, man. It was your favorite cast member. Um, I hit it off. This is such a sports answer, but cast member. I hit it off.

This is such a sports answer, but I really kind of hit it off with everybody. Ronda Rousey, Tinashe, Ariel Winter. What? Ariel Winter was on there. You know, that was Jackson's like, it's my crush for a long time. I was like, I did know that. I did know that, but it was so fun. And I'm just, I'm grateful that I got to do it.

It's a soup, like the budget and the production value is insane. I did know that, I did know that, but it was so fun and I'm grateful that I got to do it. It's a soup, like the budget and the production value is insane. It really, it looks like the Martian when you watch it back. Really? What's the premise of it? It's like, so it's a simulation. We all go to Mars and William Shatner is the host and he sort of beams in our missions for the day and we have to complete those and at the end of it, the bottom three are deemed mission non-critical or potentially mission non-critical. And then

one, there's one elimination each day because, you know, we don't have enough rations for everyone to stay there. Oh, that's crazy. That's really how cool. How cool that William Shatton or did it? Like, that's perfect. I mean, I know you can't say anything about it. Obviously, I know how these shows work, but did where you happy with the outcome? I'll just say that. I honestly, I went up there to sort of like just reset my mind and I accomplished that. And it was just, it was awesome. And it was, I know everybody on the cast has been so stressed.

Yeah, exactly. Like before, yeah, I'm on a preface. Like before we say what you couldn't, you couldn't pick the better place to go to Australia to clear your head. That's for sure. Dude, I'm in love with Sydney, by the way. I'm in my honeymoon phase with Sydney. It's awesome.

All day like like Aussies in general shout out to Australia. My God, I love it. And I'm so warm and walk cool. And yeah, before we, yeah, I was gonna say, before we like dive into this, I wanted to say, I hope it doesn't sound like I'm like ever rationalizing or justifying this whole affair because it's indefensible.

Okay, it's indefensible. And I just wanted to add like a little bit of, you know, a little bit of like background, context or nuance to see where my mindset was. You know, you know, and unfortunately, for sand of all, when you have a full blown fucking affair with one of your closest friends, you, you forego the benefit or the luxury of nuance and context. And I know, I see, I know Tom is like itching to tell more of his side of the story, but

like when you have a full blown affair, I'm going to say it again. Your side of the story becomes obsolete. Yes. 100% agree with you. It comes obsolete. That's and and he, I listen, I don't know, Tom will never listen to this, but like he needs to lose the ego. Yes. He needs to bring part humility and just say I'm sorry.

Not I'm sorry, but exactly. Thank you. We agree. I said this a million times, like, well, you got to stop the butt after and the like and just just say, hey, you know what? I effed up. I effed up. I'm sorry. I screwed up. I'm a human being, you know, and move on. Well, I'm glad to hear this from you, though, Tom, because I know you guys were super close and I know this is affected your life and your businesses and everything like that as well. So, you know, and we know you're a good guy and we also felt like you were putting a hard, really hard position. But we also wanted to give you the space to talk freely

without being like talked over or anything like that to where you can like, say your peace. And because I know that you love Ariana too. And I'm sure that you did not want anything to happen to her like this. No, I mean, I just feel terrible about the whole thing, the way it played out. I feel, you know, everyone's like, you're a complicit,

you're just as guilty as him. And I'm like, you're not as father though. You can't, you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink. And I know that I know you said something. I know you said, hey, listen, you need to come clean, but you can only do so much. And at the end of the day, it's not really your job.

But we need to let, like we need to hear it from Tom because he hasn't had a chance to, to say that's okay. And I feel like, yeah, and that's okay. But, Jack, I'm going to piggyback off what you just said. And like, just to give people a little context, like I was going through the most intense year of my entire life. My father fell hit his head. He had a brain bleed, pulmonary embolisms. He ended up having a tracheotomy at one point. He had a 5% chance of living. He was in three different hospitals for seven months. And it was just, it honestly was one of the most intense experiences of my life. All while trying to open the bar, you know, like we went way over budget,

we're behind schedule. My brother got diagnosed with testicular cancer. So he's doing chemotherapy. My other brothers in rehab, some other stuff that I'm not comfortable talking about in my family. But the reason I'm saying this right now is not to try to evoke sympathy if anyone's listening. It's just to try to give you a little idea of how little bandwidth I had. I was just like my adrenaline glands were fucking fried. I felt like I was in constant flight or fight.

And maybe, maybe, maybe selfishly, I was self-involved by necessity, like opening a bar, fucking intense. And when you couple that with what Tom Sandevol, the narrative that he had told me, you know, this whole, he sold me a shit bill of goods, apparently, because, you know, Ariana's side of the story is completely different.

He was telling me that he had been trying to break up with her over the course of many months. And he tried, I think, said three times. He had this whole, by the way, I'm not breathing life into this narrative of Ariana ever hears this, because I don't want to do that But you know his version of the story is that she treats him like shit. She belittles him

They have no intimacy and that there are more or less just roommates now, you know That's fine. I break up, but as a somebody I will say as somebody who was was viewing it because we weren't on the show So we are actually like on the other side of it this year. So we have a little bit of a different perspective. But as somebody who was viewing it, it just looked like he only started saying this stuff because he was like trying, like he was like trying to blame Ariana for what was happening. Like that's what it looks like. You know what I mean? It looks like he was trying to blame her for him doing this whole affair, which is insane. I'm, I'm, I'm glad you said that because it's really effed up when people try to shift the blame in a situation. Yes.

You know, you know, like the two, two, two, two imply, like you should have known all the signs were there. That's vile. You know, and that was really hard to watch. And I've talked to Daryana and I know that that like upset her having like see this stuff because she did, you know, after finding out that you did know about things, you know, she kind of felt like you were like involved more so than. Yeah.

I mean, if you watch the show, it looks like my world revolves around Tom Sanabal. I know. Everyone outside of this little world, you know, the show is very authentic and the editors do a fucking awesome job. But like you would think my life revolves around fucking Tom Sandevol and Raquel. And like, it could not be further from the truth. Like I'm Tom Schwartz. I did not have an affair with Ariana.

Right. I'm not, you know, like, I, like, this is not my life. But yes, I'm an unfortunate confidant. And yeah, man, it's like, you know, I don't, I don't, every time I try to like recount the whole timeline, I end up looking like a bigger idiot because it's not my story to tell. And no matter what they show in the show, whatever Tom or Raquel says, no one's gonna ever know that full story except for Tom Sandeball and Raquel. I know. You know. All right we all know as parents that it can be hard to find creative ways to keep your kids busy, challenge, and author screens.

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Wait, am I reading that free one year supply of vitamin D? Yes, and five free travel packs with your first purchase. Go to athleticgreens.com slash reality hits. That's athleticgreens.com slash reality hits. Check it let it greens dot com slash reality hits check it out you're really really gonna like it but i can tell you guys from my point of view of weekend like maybe like yes i would love to hear from your point of view because on the reunion

tom sainte ball said that you knew from jane wary and you said that you knew from august so i think that maybe you should clear up something from that because I feel like everybody's like, what is happening? And everybody at the ring and I know I was saying that you guys didn't get your story straight and this and that. Yeah, that's the thing. We never like, we never, it wasn't some sort of like secret behind the scenes. Like people think Tom Sandivall was like coaching me on what to say, which could not be further from the truth.

You know what I mean? I'm often my little Tom Schwartz bubble. But from what I know is that they hook, by the way, I threw out a random date just because everyone's like, you better get your story straight. We're coming for you. You better get your time on the straight.

I'm like, you guys, I did not mark this on my fucking calendar, okay? I'm absolutely consumed with my own life, and I'll tell you what I know, but I threw out a random date. I have no idea when he told me, but it was around some time in late August, I don't know, sometime in the summer after the wedding. If you know, so 100% you found out after the wedding, not before the wedding. Yes.

We had theories that Tom saying of all, like, was encouraging you to make out, because now we're viewers, okay? So we got a different view of everything. So we had, we were thinking that maybe Sanable was like trying to have you like kiss her to throw off the scent from what was going on between them too. Yeah, no, that's not true. And by the way, I mean, we can get in this.

It's not true. Now it's even a little bit more weird. Why would he do that? No, it's not true. Me and Raquel, like, listen, we never had real chemistry. It was never going anywhere. But like, I guess I was, I was like kind of a sad little sack of shit. And it was like, I guess it was convenient.

It just was such an innocent kiss. And how do I know? Like it would have hurt Katie so much. I would have never done that. You know, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I. I would have never done that. You know, I know, she really got to say it really was sad to say, honestly. I know. And I know. And you know, you know, my knee jerk reaction was like discount her feelings and minimize it. Cause like I was thinking from my perspective, if I had divorced Katie, and then five months later, she kissed someone in our friend group, even in spite of our informal agreement, not to hook up with like people in the friend group, even in spite of our informal agreement, not to hook up with people in the friend group.

I would be like, you know what? Good for you, hell yeah. For example. Do you really think you would be like that? Because I don't think you would. 100% if I divorced her. If I divorced her, and it was like five months later, and I had been dating other girls and everything,

but anyways, I don't want to continue to minimize it because it really hurt Katie's feelings. Yes, I know. I'm sorry for that, but like sometime around that time, I still don't know where or when the first time they hooked up is apparently it was in a car outside on like outside of Tom's house or something. And then he went out of the door to get in the house and she had to answer, right? Yes. So I did know about I knew that they had a one night stand and he told me this. Well, apparently, listen,

I don't know what's gonna come out, but it's looking like it now it's like starting to look like it just never stopped, you know? Yeah. Is that gonna be the big news? I mean, we haven't seen the final reunion just yet. Obviously this is gonna come out tomorrow, a day of the reunion.

So we're so like wondering what is that? That's gonna be. Do you know what the big? I have no idea and I don't want to spoil it. But if I had the guests, it would probably just be that they'd never stop hooking up or maybe they hooked up even earlier than they first said they did. That was my guess. That was my guess too. Yeah, it's nothing that I didn't think was already going to have. It's okay.

That's okay. That's what everybody in the world is speculating is that it's gonna be like that they were hooking up even when she was with James. That's what a lot of people are thinking. I've seen on the internet. And I just picked you back off to the Katie situation. I'm sorry, because this is a question I had. What is your current situation with Katie right now?

Just because we were just talking about that. How is everything going with you, too? Well, I still love her. I mean, respectfully not like in love with her, but you know, I still love her and care about her a lot. And we're cordial, but she's so busy opening up her sandwich shop, which looks fucking awesome. So props to Ariana and Katie,

because I know how hard it is, and how many moving pieces and how much time, energy, sweat, blood, love goes into that. So shout out to them. So we're cordial, but it's not like we're BFFs. We're not going out and getting dinner, but we're cool. And yeah, that's, I don't know.

That was one thing that made me really sad. It's like, because we had, you guys know, we were together 12 years and we had this, yeah, I don't know how flexed. We were both in your old wedding. And, you know, we loved you guys. And we always want the best for both of you no matter what. So I know, but I know you also went through the divorce and had to sell your house. And I know that that was hard on both of you no matter what. So I know, but I know you also went through the divorce and had to sell your house.

And I know that that was hard on both of you guys. Yeah, that's another thing. It's like, yeah, I'm sorry, I'm starting to jump all over the place. But yeah, so I was like, yeah, getting the divorce, even though it was amicable, it's getting stressful to get divorced and move all of your shit out of your house

and do a little sad bachelor pad. And it's like that with my family completely fucked up and it just opening the bar and being like four months behind Schedule over leverage in ourselves financially. It's like it was just very intense and again the reason I bring this up is just to so people can't get an idea of how Like how consumed I was in my own little world and maybe maybe that's one of my regrets is that I just I was so kind of like Nonchalant about this and I just I was so kind of like nonchalant about this. And I just I just accepted everything that Santa ball told me about it. You know, why would I why would I not believe him? You know, so to make things clear really fast, Tom, because you said that he did tell you he had a one night stand. So did he tell you

about the one night stand before she where. It was after the wedding. And then we had this moment where we sat down and he's like, dude, I don't know what I'm doing. I feel like I'm losing, I feel like me and Ariana are never really gonna break up. Maybe I'm naive for saying this and people are probably gonna gag. But from my point of view of all the shit going on

in my life, the little bandwidth I had to assign to his life. It seemed like things kind of went back to normal for a while. It didn't feel weird around them, you know? And like, yeah, we did. We all hung out, but they were good. They always had people around them as buffers in hindsight.

Like I feel like I kind of got used a little bit. I really do feel like I got used to that. I feel like he got used to it. I was just trying to tap into that. I fully on believe that because I feel like, and I'm not just saying this because I'm your friend, but I do feel like Tom Sanable does take advantage of you of your kindness.

And you are. He 100% does. You can tell me that I'm lying, but I 100% believe it. I'm never wrong. You know that. I'm never wrong. I honestly think he takes a little bit of advantage of your kindness

with not only just that, I think with the bar, with the scheduling, with the him going on tour, and you guys are in the middle of opening a bar, and just I think with a lot of things, not just this in general, but I'm talking about this goes back 12 years with a lot of different things. I think he kind of takes your kindness, you know, and kind of uses it a little bit. I mean, do you agree or you disagree? I do. In this case, in particular, I really feel like he exploited me because I, you know, I do love Tom. And I took the heart, everything he told me about like Ariana. Like I, and now that I've heard her side of the story, I'm just like, she is like vehemently denied all of this stuff. Like he insinuated that certain things I don't want to say anymore.

I don't want to be a say what you're comfortable with. Yeah, say what you're going to do with. But I definitely think that he is saying a whole different side of what she was saying. I mean, she was like, we were, he was talking about that they broke up on Valentine's Day. That was not true. Like, she completely denies all of that. And I believe Ariana, I think that's sadable. Open relationship in a hot tub.

I think that sadable was trying to just make himself look better for the things that he did to her. And that's my honest opinion because he is like one of the most hated people right now because this went so crazy. So I think that he might be trying to use all anything he can to make her look bad. And that's so terrible because she was the one

that was so hurt in this situation. And I do think he does the coaching thing because we were watching the reunion on the way here from the airport and how mad he got at the cameras for not wanting to film him with her by himself for a one minute. He was like, why could he, yeah, he was wanting to film, he wanted to hang out with Raquel during the lunch break without film care. While you were doing push-ups. But, he wanted, no, I'll joke. We'll get into that a second.

While joking side, he wanted to be with Raquel for a good five minutes. And he's telling the producers this, can I just be alone? Why do you need the cameras not to be there unless you're coaching her on what to say? There's no reason for the cameras to go away. Because you should be able to say whatever you want

in front of everybody, because that's the show we signed up for. Well, And they said Rick L said something like I can't remember word for word where she said but it was so embarrassing to watch She said something like we haven't lied about anything other than the affair Oh my gosh, that's like everything That's a big one. That's a big one. That's a big one.

Well, no, but everything, listen, I agree with everything you guys are saying. I mean, I know we started talking about the timeline. And then I guess in hindsight, even when I didn't know, I knew because like, listen, even if they didn't, even if they did stop hooking up until, you know, around like January, he came to me and told me that he's in love.

And it's like real deal. And he's gonna, you know, he's 100% just breaking up with Arianna. He's already tried before, but like, this is not just like a fling. He's in love. And then, you know, and in hindsight, you know, thinking back, I mean, at the very least, wait a minute, wait a minute. I don't mean to cut you off, but what about like you didn't even like, think it was like, you didn't feel, I know you, and I know you get

uncomfortable in a weird situation. You were going to tell me that you were not uncomfortable at all during Big Bear when you guys all for you. Yeah, I'm so uncomfortable for you. I think it. Thanks. Thanks for bringing that up because that is the perfect example of Tom being incredibly selfish in almost in his like almost, almost like rabid, dogged pursuit of pleasure with this affair. He put a lot of his friends, not just me, a lot of his friends in very uncomfortable situations. We had that trip planned for a long time. We were hyped about at the bars open. We're going snowboarding. And then last second, he's like, by the way, you know, I want to bring, you know, who? And yeah, it made me feel super uncomfortable.

I barely saw, I barely saw her so I don't, it's not like she came out with us snowboarding. She was like in hiding. That's, he really, really just like got lost in the sauce and was like, you know, it's such a, like that. That whole trip up there. Did you guys go together? Did you drive up there together? I'll for you. Yeah, me and Tom did not rec. I don't she came separately. Me and Tom blew up there. And that's just you have that. And like, did you get any time? Did you at any time say, Hey, after a couple drinks, I'm like, Hey, what are you doing? Just what are you doing, man? What are you doing? By that point, by that point, that that's when I really started to put, listen, relatively speaking, short style. I was Like, dude, you have to fucking tell Ariana.

He's like, I know, I'm going to, I'm going to. And I'm like, I'm pretty much, I'm pretty much broken up with her. I'm like, what does that mean? Yeah. That is so much. Try only do. Yeah. Try and break up with someone.

But you said that, oh, sorry. I don't want you to keep talking, Tom. Sorry. I've got so many questions for you. Please jump in at any time. But around that time is like, yeah, we're like, sorry, I don't want you to keep talking, Tom, sorry. I've got so many questions for you. He's jumping at any time, but around that time is like, yeah, we're like, that for me, from my point of view, that's when things really like the tide turned is, like, oh my God, this is like a full-blown affair.

Like how did Arianna not know that she was up there with Tom? Snowboard, like, if I go check the mail, Brittany, and I'm longer than five minutes, Brittany's calling the cops. She didn't know. If I go check the mail, Brittany, and I'm longer than five minutes, Brittany's calling the cops. She didn't know. I don't think there was any like photos posted with her there. And I don't think that Ariana thought anything was going on to even like worry about that.

You know what I mean? So it's like, she wasn't worried about that. But they went out to dinner, right? The all four you guys went out to dinner. I'm sure somebody saw you guys out there. I'm sure somebody saw you out there that knew a show and was probably like, what the hell are these four doing together? Whether you're trying to drink more water or less soda,

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Therapy is all about deepening your self-awareness and understanding because sometimes we don't know what we want or why we react the way we do until we talk through things Bright Jacks very much better help connects you with the licensed therapist who can take you on a journey of self-discurry from wherever you are We've talked about this so many times how you had like the worst experiences So it's so amazing to have something like better help to help you find amazing therapists and people to help you Talk about your feelings. Just everything that you're going through life because mental health is so, so important. I wish I had this when I was looking for a thing.

I know, right? This would have saved so many issues. Yes. And on the show, it would have saved so many issues. If you're thinking of starting therapy, give better help a try. It's entirely online designed to be convenient, flexible, and seated to your schedule, which is also amazing because you can pick whenever it's right for you. You don't have to go on someone else's schedule.

That's awesome. Just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist and switch therapist at any time for no additional charge. Discover your potential with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com slash reality hits today to get 10% off your first month. That's better help h-e-l-p dot com slash reality hits. By the way, I don't know. Like I don't just just for everybody knows I don't I'm not dating anyone. I don't have a secret girlfriend that lives with me. Okay. I'm single and not read a mingle. Hey, that's good. I'm not ready. I like that. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Because a lot of people think that you

were dating Joe. And we're not going to talk bad about or anything. But I just, I just want you to be able to clear it up that you are not in a relationship. And I've told everybody that people that ask me that I always say, Tom is not in a relationship. Does that Joe girl hang around? Yes. Is he in a relationship? No. There's, he's allowed to have female friends. You can do whatever he wants, but they're not in a relationship. Does that Joe girl hang around? Yes. Is he in a relationship? No. He's allowed to have female friends. You can do whatever he wants, but they're not in a relationship. And I've said that many times.

Thanks, thanks, Jack. Well, by the way, I think she's hilarious, beautiful, talented, Joe's the shit. I just don't want to go for it. I just got out of a 12 year relationship. But going back to what we were talking about, I think that trip, it makes me feel rotten because I am guilty of just being too complacent and just almost like turning

a blind eye. But it was based on the information that Tom Sandeval had given me about his relationship. Like, you know, he's one of my closest friends and I bought what he was selling with a little bandwidth and attention span I had to give to this whole situation. I believed him. And like I said before, from what Ariana saying, it's all bullshit. He sold me a shit will of goods. And I just, I don't know, maybe that's one of my biggest regrets is maybe I wish I would

have done more due diligence. I don't know if maybe I should have gave him an ultimatum or I, like, I just now, I mean, yeah, actually that was one of my questions. Like if you didn't, if he didn't tell Ariana, were you going to, because I know that, I mean, Ariana was in your wedding on your side as well. So I know that you love her as well. And I know, of course, that was such a hard position for you to be in, but you had to just notice

how terrible this was, you know? Totally. And I, I, I, I, I don't know, I try not to have regrets on my, but I wish I could have been. Sorry. I don't mean to talk. I keep talking. I'm sorry.

That was my next question. Those do you have any regrets? And I just wanted to elaborate on that. Do you have any regrets? If, if so, what, what are they? That's, yeah. Yeah. I just, no, it's okay. Please jump in it any time we're riffing. I love you guys, but I will. Yeah, yeah. I do regret kissing Raquel in Mexico because

of how much I hurt Katie. It was a little selfish, but I was also falling apart. And in regards to like this whole affair, I just my biggest regret is how just nonchalant I was about it, you know? It looks like I was his like, co-conspirator. And I just was an unfortunate confidant. And I really bought the story, he told me, you know? I bought like, I don't want to keep repeating it because I don't want to say that. And you're also like a type of person, like, I know, like I said, I know you pretty well. You got your own shit going on.

And I think it's not talked about enough about what you are going out with your personal life with your family, your father and all that. That way is a huge, huge, huge weight on you. And then you have to deal with this on the side. It's like, and this, and to be honest, what you're doing with your family, this kind of stuff is menial when you got all these big deal things going on with your family. But also I wonder, as a person, though, no, as a person, you just kind of be like, listen, I don't have the time for this.

I don't have the time to deal with this because I got my dad's in the hospital, my brothers in rehab, my other brothers got cancer. Like, I'm trying to open a bar, you know, that's why I understand. That's why I have sympathy for you a little bit on that. Right, of course. And I hate that your family's going through all that.

And I'm praying for them. And I hope that they are doing Right. Of course. And I hate that your family's going through all that. And I'm praying for them. And I hope that they are doing better. Yeah. Like I said, thanks, Brett. And I'm not, I'm not using that as an excuse. I'm just trying to let people inside of my mind set at the time, you know? No, I understand.

I really was just so f**king consumed with my own life. And I really, I really believed what Tom Sandeval told me in it and it made me so are you mad at Tom Sandeval? Like, have you talked to him about how shitty of a person he was to even you? Yeah, where do you guys stand? Yeah, you see he has a Paul, he has apologized to me a lot. And by the way, I'm glad you said I'm glad you brought that up because like I one thing, you know, I'm in the bars every single week. I'm in shorts and say and he's I'm in Tom Tom. And one thing I've gleaned from a lot of patrons and people who like to show is first of all like yeah, they're like repulsed and disgusted by this whole thing. It's vile. It's like indefensible. But like they're like one thing they always say

is you're like you know from our point of view, it doesn't seem like he has like remorse or contrition. And like Rick kelp and it further like exacerbates the situation. Tom has apologized to me a lot, you know, I feel like he's apologized to you more than he has to orient. And that is right. He's changed the lyrics in his song in his band about how the phone fell out. Like, he's almost making fun of this situation now. What? Like when he goes on the tour, he's changed these talking the songs

to elaborating about how the phone fell out of his pocket, about how Raquel knew, and like he's almost making fun of it, like kind of just going along with it now. Which that's kind of a little bit of the lack of empathy and the scary part, the sociopath part of it. Yeah, well, and just the part that he, you know,

I'm glad that he's apologizing to you, but like, I just feel like there just needs to be so much more towards Ariana because that's just, this is, you know, I went through with Jackson. It wasn't nearest public, but it was so hard to have to live through that publicly, you know, like whenever he cheated and all that. That was so hard for me. So I can't, I can feel for Ariana and what she had to go through during all of this. And I'm glad because she's thriving now. She's doing so good.

I feel like she's happier. A white's been lifted off of her shoulder. And hopefully she just will just be the queen of everything now and just have the best life. That's all I want for her. She's literally booked every commercial. Yeah, she's doing it. She's killing it right now.

She's absolutely killing it. And I'm happy because she deserves that. Because this was like super public and so hard to go through publicly. And then you have to really give it all like months later on the show again. And you know, that's hard. That's really hard. It's I what a bizarre experience. She must feel like she's in the Truman show. Tom too. It's like, but I am happy. It makes me happy to see her thriving. I think her and she to throw out the first pitch of the the Padres game last night.

No. She's ubiquitous, man. She's fucking everywhere. She's, she's crushed in it. And yeah, man, I stood out with those big words, dude. I'm going through my thessaurous. You're big with this. How word is that? Me and Dr. I'm here like, uh-huh. I'm like, yeah. You better be. It's so ubiquitous. I got absolutely roasted for my watchwater happens live debacle. I was just a rambling fool, but in the moment,

it made sense. We might put a you a little bit too, but it's all out of love. You know that. Yeah, that's all harm. It's just because I mean, I just, I watch you on that reunion. Like I said, we watched the reunion

because we got to recap it on the podcast. God, I've never seen you look as, I watch you on that reunion. Like I said, we watched the reunion because we got to recap it on the podcast. God, I've never seen you look as uncomfortable as you did on that reunion. Like you were literally like, Deer and head like, you were a deer and head like, do you look pale, you looked uncomfortable, you look like, get me the F outta here. Like you were just not wanting any part of that.

I could just tell. And I could tell you're inside, you were just like, I, like I said, I know you pretty well and I just, you were uncomfortable as hell. Un like, I like I said, I know you pretty well. And I just you were uncomfortable. Hell uncomfortable. I wanted to click my heels together and disappear so bad. I was just a sad, gonna meet sex sitting there with a half a Xanax in my system, just like trying to do some sort of like

transcendental meditation or be, I mean, listen, I have to, we have to be present. You guys have done a ton of these reunions for the same time. Like just being strategically seated right next to Tom and Raquel. I'm like, oh my god. This is gonna be Imprinted in people's minds now. It's like Collaborates that we were some sort of like Grubble or whatever the people think I don't know. I hate that people think that you were like super involved in it Have you talked to Ariana very much and like tried to apologize

to her for knowing or how is anything like that went down between you two? Um, we had a brief moment towards the end of the season, but it was maybe like, you know, we tied it for like 30 minutes, but I just give her space. I don't think she wants to see me. And I don't blame her, you know, based on the way everything played out and how this came out, it just, it looks, I look like I'm, you know, Tom's can wingman or something, you know? And it's like, I think that's what she thinks too, a little, you know.

I guess, I guess, I guess the summa said I was, you know, based on what he had told me, I really, I just really, this is just my trust. This is just a compliment. The top of my head, Do you think now like today, are you? Do you think that you need to maybe, I hate this, it's not yours. Are you going to step back from your friendship at all? Are you going to play it safe? Now, I mean, how do you go about your

friendship slash business partner? How do you move on from this? Yeah, I mean, let's do a heel, I guess. How do you move on from this? Yeah, I mean, let's do a heel, I guess. He made a big mess and then, you know, he left, he left it for us to clean up, back at the businesses and, you know, and it's hard for me not to be resentful of him. I'm definitely, I'm taking a break from Tom right now. I haven't seen him in a while.

Yeah, I'm glad to hear that Tom. That makes me happy, honestly, because you deserve to have that space and be able to like focus and like, you know, have your time. And I know like how devoted you are to have that space and be able to like focus and like you know have your time and I know like how devoted you are to your bars like you are at Tom Tom you are at Swarton Sandees all the time and you love talking to people and you're so good at what you do and I feel like he just like took off on this tour. I'm Lola and I'm Megan and we're the hosts of Trust Me Colts Extreme

Belief and Manipulation. We both have I'm Megan and we're the hosts of Trust Me, Colts, Extreme Belief and Manipulation. We both have childhood cult experiences and we're here to debunk the myths about people who join them and show that anyone can be manipulated. Our past interviews include survivors and former members of the Manson family, Nexium, MS-13, Tealsfong, Heavensgate, Children of God and the Branch Davidians. Join us every week as we help you spot the red flags. Get new episodes of Trust Me, every's Day on Ticastlin.

Or wherever you get your podcasts. By the way, hold on, hold on. I gotta tell short something because I don't think you know this. The other day, my phone got a text message and guess who it was from. Who? Tom Sadeval. Oh my god, really? I was like, I hope you're doing great and had a wonderful day. He didn't respond or anything like that. Thursday made 25th. I was like, I hope you're doing great and had a wonderful day. I'm going to say, I'm going to say, I'm going to say, I'm going to say, I'm going to say, I'm going to say, I'm going to say, I'm going to say, I'm going to say, I'm going to say, I'm going to say, I'm going to say, I'm going to say, I'm going to say, I'm going to say, I'm going to say, I'm going to say, I'm going to say, I'm going to say, I'm going to say, I'm going to say, I'm going to say, I'm going to say, I'm going to say, I'm going to say, I'm going to say, I'm going to say, I'm going to say, I'm going to say, I'm going to say, I'm going to say, I'm going to say, I'm going to say, I'm going to say, I'm going to say, I'm going to say, I'm going to say, I'm going to say, I'm going to say, I'm going to say, I'm going to say, I'm going to say, I'm going to say, I'm going to say, I'm going to say, I'm going to say, I'm going to say, I'm going to say, I'm going to say, I'm going to say, I'm going to say, I'm going to say, I'm going to say, I'm going to say, I'm going to say, I'm going to say, I'm going to say, I'm going to, I'm going to say, I'm going to say, I'm going to say, I'm going to say, I'm going to say, I'm going to, I'm going to say, I'm a day late. I'm going through it because it was whatever my mom was sick and Kentucky. And I was like, I hope you're doing great and had a wonderful day. He didn't respond or anything like that. Thursday, May 25th, he texts me this. Yo, Brit, hope you're doing well.

Our band is playing in Louisville, Kentucky on 6-1. If any of your fans and family or friends want to come to the show, just let me know. And I could put them on my list. Had lotter's music hall, Thursday, 6th, 1. If that doesn't sell, say, tone deaf or selfishness, then I don't know what does. That is the most tone deaf thing you can possibly say.

You texted my wife. I was just so shocked that he texted me that because we, like I said, we hadn't talked in so long. I'm obviously on Ariana side about all of this. And I just thought that was kind of crazy. Like, why would I want my family and friends to go to that? You know, like, I don't know. It was just so bizarre to me.

And I feel like that's kind of how he's been about this whole situation. I just couldn't believe that he texted me that. I don't know where, you know? And I know he was like, in his mind, probably trying to think that it was a nice thing. But I was just kind of like, whoa, this is, I was just very bizarre to me. I know I just dropped a atomic bomb on the whole world, but, but this is a told tom thing to say,

but do you want to come to my concert in Louisville? That's such a move that he would do. And it's just so bizarre. And that brings me back to the lack of empathy, the tone deafness, the selfishness. Like, are you, are you mad? Do you honestly think my wife would be like, hold on, let me call my friends. Like, like, are you serious? I just, I thought so bizarre. I think he's going through something. He's got to have me having a midlife crisis or whatever because nobody in this world acts like this.

Yeah, I mean, you know, it's like, I'm happy for him. I know he's very passionate about the band, but like the optics of it. I'm just not even from my point of view, but people see that. He's up there and he's, you know, singing his hard out, he's got his shirt off.

It just looks like he has no contrition or it looks like he just doesn't, do you have a fucking, he's living on his rock star dreams and good for him, but it just, man, I think that's one thing I've gleaned from like, like people in the restaurant, they don't, they just don't understand like the lack of remorse. I know he, I know he's f***ing regrets it,

but like he doesn't do a good job of showing that. And he just, he's got it, I'll say it again, he's got a drop that ego man, heart, humility, and stop, like I want to say this again for emphasis, man, when you have a full-fucking blown affair, your side of the story ceases to exist. That shit is obsolete. And just, you just kind of move forward.

And Raquel, just how she smiles and stuff, talking about it, that almost made me throw up. I could not believe that she was just grinning. Air from, air, air from, air, air about it. I it I was like what is happening right now every week I go back and forth I'm like is she an idiot or she calculated like I can't figure her out like I can't tell if she's Smart or she's just really dumb Well, what I want to know is Because there's some weeks from like she's a moron

And I'm like and then I'm like wait a minute I'm like, and then I'm like, wait a minute, maybe she's calculated, like, I can't figure it out. And I got to ask people, I usually can read people pretty well and I can't read her at all. I remember- She's like, she doesn't have emotions either. Yeah, she doesn't. Yeah, just, you guys just reminded me of what an Andy said.

I remember Andy I watched her happen, so I was like, sorry, like, are you mad at Rick Kell? And I, I think I said something like, I was like, sorry, are you mad at Rick Kell? And I think I said something like, I don't not really actually, which I know she's just a fucking guilty. I mean, it's cold-blooded. Oh, yeah. What she did, but like,

from my point of view, it kinda just seemed like she was alone for the ride. I gotta be careful what I say. I don't see my- I believe that too. I don't know, like, man, Tom just had this dog-hit fucking pursuit of pleasure. I've never know like a man. Tom just had like this dog. It can pursue the pleasure. I've never like, yeah, I mean,

I feel like it is my life. Crystasy like it is. It's like it, dude, I think he kind of like, he blew up a little bit of a diva mentality where he's like, I'm untouchable. You know, you had that. That's what I had it. And then I stole sunglasses and then it was,

you did a lot more than just stole sunglasses. You went through a lot You went through a lot of stupid stuff too, but you've learned and grown from it And I just don't see anything like that happening with Tom right now. No, not you Tom the other Tom I love to see you guys um, I bruh jacks. I love your I love your come-up and I love that um You you reformed your fucking great dad, you're turning your life room. Well, he's been a great person. Well, he had a big heart.

He had a big heart. I'm not a malicious. I do a lot of stupid stuff, but that's because I like to get a rise out of people, but I don't do anything like malicious or anything. We'll just ask you like one more question, Tom, because I know we've kept you for a while. It's okay. But I want to go back to how Santa ball told you that he was in love with her.

I'm just wondering just like the rest of the world, are they still in love? Are they together? Like, what is happening? Because it kind of pisses me off if they're not together. After they blew everybody's life's up. You know what I mean? Like if they're not even together now,

what in the world is happening? That was the last thing I said to him before we left the reunion. I was like, dude, after all the shit that you put me through and everyone else around you through, it was like, you better marry this girl. I'm happy to report that I have no idea. I have no clue. And it could not make me happier. I don't want to know any. I was so you're that like far away from him, like you're not even talking to him right now about stuff. No, he's been on tour nonstop,

so I haven't seen him or talked to him in a long time. I mean, he's been on tour for like months, which I probably is good for his mental health. Not that anyone cares about that, and I'm certainly not gonna make the mistake of advocating for hugs for sand of all again. No, no, no, no. It's just a reminder, I just has a reminder to people out there.

It's like, oh my god, there's like, some of the toxicity and like, I can't imagine the DMs that they're getting and stuff. And just a reminder to people out there, it's like, what's that pull it from that one philosopher dude? It's like when you're when you're fighting monsters, be careful that you don't become one. It's like when you're when you're fighting monsters be careful that you don't become one. It's like holy shit I get this is super fucked up and and people are just like Disgusted by the whole thing and it but like man

I people are just online are scary sometimes But even like Arianna was talking to me like she still can get like people of course She's got so many more people in her corner that are supporting her, but she even gets like mean messages about things. And it's just so crazy that people on my do that to anybody. I mean, I'll post a photo and they talk about how I look, what I do, that I took Jack's back.

Like people talk so much crap on Instagram. And if they come up to our faces, it's not normally like that. Like, oh, nobody's really gonna say that to your face ever. But it just sucks because Instagram and all that kind of stuff, nobody's really gonna say that to your face ever. But it just sucks. Cause Instagram and all that kind of stuff, bullies can just say whatever they want and think they're getting away with it.

It just is so annoying to me. Keyboard warriors. Totally. Guys, you're so right. And listen, I don't know if we blame the algorithms or what, but like, you know, I actually, I was, I was watching this YouTube clip the other day with, um, I think Steve Harvey and Shannon Sharp and they're talking about how Denzel schooled them on the

difference between like a movie star and a TV star movies. You got to, you got to get in the car, get dressed up, go spend money on the ticket, but like people on TV, like you invite them into your living rooms. It's like, you know, you're like part of the family. Yeah, especially reality TV. And I love that. We have like, it's a coolest thing about the bar. Like, yes, it's like a pair of social relationship until they come in the bar. And then that's shit like transcends it. We're hugging. We're taking half shots. And it's so fun. What was it? Wait, what was my point? Oh, point being, oh, I got it. I got it. My point. The point being is I feel like that's why like the outpouring of like eight in disappointment has been so intense. I think I

feel like these people have grown with us for 10 years. They've allowed us to be, they've allowed to have sand of all to be in his living rooms for 10 years. And then it's like, it's like their best friend is can betray them. And it's almost like they're losing or someone, I don't know, maybe this is all bullshit. I don't know. Can I ask you to shift a little bit? How's the bar doing? How is Schwarzenegger doing?

Is it are we still doing good? Are you happy? Yeah, this weekend was absolutely slamming. That's one thing I just, I got to shout out to my partners Brett and Greg. They've had to deal with a lot of a lot of harassment because of this Yeah, no people like calling in and stuff like did they think Tom sandables ever gonna hear these voicemails They leave it's like he doesn't know he doesn't hear any of that our employees have to deal with that and

Just like I get it people are disgusted with him. Yeah, it's going on what Tom Tom. Are you guys still involved with that? Yeah, yeah, Tom Tom's great. I wasn't sure if you guys to get, because I think on the reunion, and I was like said, you might have sold your shares for extra money for Tom for shorts and cities, but no, you're still involved. We took out a small percentage

just to help us get to the finish line, but we're still involved. Prime pride was awesome in West Hollywood, shout out to West Hollywood, Sunday for more incredible. And. Yeah, happy pride, everybody. I'm sorry. I wish that we could have been there for that. You know, I, but I had my brothers wedding. I had my nephew's graduation. So we weren't in town, but we love going to prod too. It's so much, so much fun and such an amazing thing. Yeah, we've been part of it for every year. Yeah, we support with Lee Sun.

It was always, always fun. Yeah. Yeah. Well, like in closing, like I said, man, I guess, I don't know, maybe I'm a sucker. I was sold the shit bill of goods and I bought it and I was just so caught up in my fucking own life. I just selfishly, I guess, I, I guess I should have done more and I guess I regret that. And um, you know, it's just, it's kind of sad. Well, we know you're a great guy. And we just hope that you can, you know, work things out with Katie and Ariana and take this time away from Tom because you deserve it.

I think that's going to be really good for you. I said one last question earlier, but I just got one more question. Actually, where do you think? Where do you think the show or the friend group goes from here? Oh, question. That's a good question. Because I know a lot of people aren't wanting to film with Santa ball or Raquel. And I feel like they're just not in the

friend group at all anymore. But I mean, you're you were actually on the show, we weren't this past couple of seasons. So just would love to hear what you think about all that. Oh my God. Um, I don't know. I don't like, here's the thing. You guys know this better than anyone. You've been in this friend group for as long as I have. Brittany a little behind, but like, we've, we, we, we've been through so much

up shit together. Like so many like marriages, divorces, cheating, like all kinds of other stuff we've bonded, maybe we've trauma bonded through all of this. But like, and that then part of me thinks like, you know, we'll be able to work through this, but I just, I don't know, I don't know. I think the level, from my point of view,

I will say, and you can tell me what you think about this. I think the level of a trial on this was so much worse than anything else you guys have gone through. Like, I know there's been things in the past that have sucked and have been like bad too. And I know there's was things that before I was around that were bad that like Jacks did to Stasi and, you know, I don't know that all that really sucked, but this was going on for like months and months and months.

And they were still hanging out right in front of your all's faces and like right in front of Ariana's face at her own home. And like she thought that was one of her very best friends as well as her life partner. So I just think the level betrayal is just like above and beyond. So I just wonder how you feel about that. That's exactly what I was just going to finish my comment with and you did it for me. Sorry. That's exactly what I was just gonna finish my comment with and you did it for me. I'm sorry. Well, this is just a completely different level of betrayal and I don't know.

I really don't know how it's gonna play out, but I still love this stuff group of people and I don't know. We'll see what happens, but I don't know what I want to close with. What's my close with? I'm glad that you're taking some time for yourself, though, I'm getting away from it all, hanging out with maybe some different friends, maybe some different groups of people,

getting some different perspectives of life other than this traumatic van or pup situation because sometimes you gotta break free from it and go see your other friends. So I hope you're doing a little bit. You have a little bit. Thanks Jackson. Yeah, on that note, like just a reminder you guys,

my name is Tom Schwartz. I did not have an affair. No, we don't. We have an affair. I mean, how do you do it, young love? I will. There's not revolve around Tom's sand of all. OK, I'm not, I'm not like a character in his movie.

Yeah. I'm trying to make my own movie. And yeah, man, I just, it sucks like on the internet, it's just I've gotten absolutely roasted into oblivion And I've been reduced to like an accessory to to an affair. It's like Jesus Christ Anyways, you can't look at that stuff. You gotta take a break. I know shit just turn it off And it's it that's just keyboard warriors That's people that have nothing to do with their lives and like to sit behind the keyboard and just type type type

Because they know you're never gonna respond. So don't look at that Yeah, don't look at that shit Just keep on doing what you're doing like I said relax So don't look at that. Yeah. Don't look at that shit. Just keep going. Do what you're doing. Like I said, relax, take some time for yourself, meditate, do whatever you got to do, hang out with different people, go to the beach, you know, keep going to the bar and seeing people. Because everyone is going to Schwartz and Channies. I'm sure it's there to see you. No one's there to see Santa Vals. Yeah, seriously. They all know that they're all the time. They all know that's your pride and joy and

your baby. And you've invested everything that you have in that. So, you know, I love going there. It's fun. The food is freaking awesome. We have three times that I've been there. I've had a great time. But in closing out, I just want to say thank you so much for coming on here too. We really, really appreciate it. I know you have a lot going on in your life and I know you're not doing too many of these podcasts, but Brittany and I just really, really appreciate it. You know, we love you to death and we we're always here for you. And we're always going to be here for you. And I guess we'll just see when we get home. Yeah, guys. And like, well, that's thing. Like, people, I know lots of different people have

experienced, you know, their friends cheating or having an affair. Let this be a cautionary tale. Like if you're not happy, if you're not in love, don't go start having an affair. Just break up with your significant other and move on. Yeah. Okay. That it was the worst decision they ever, they shouldn't have never done that. I agree. 100%. I mean, yeah, it's incredibly, but wait, let's try to end on a positive. Yes. I need a, I need a dose of positivity.

Well, wait, one thing, when does your Mars show air? We'd ever better here. Mondays on Fox. Mondays on Fox. OK, well good luck with that. Everybody tune in to watch. Stars on Mars. Schwartzy on Mondays on Fox.

I like to see this one. Yeah. All right, buddy. Thanks so much. All right, have fun in New York. Yeah, we love you. Thanks everybody for listening to Win Reality hits with New York. Yeah, we love you. Thanks everybody for listening to WinReality hits with Jackson and Brittany.

We love you guys. All right, we'll talk to you guys next week, and we'll fill you in on the last part of the reunion. Yes. Duh, duh, duh. Bye, Tom. Bye, Tom. Thank you.

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