Where Everybody Knows Your Name with Ted Danson and Woody Harrelson (sometimes) - Dax Shepard

Episode Date: September 18, 2024

This week the “sexy” and “dazzling” Dax Shepard drops in on Woody Harrelson and Ted Danson. They talk about Dax’s journey into podcasting, the power of recovery groups, Dax’s Cheers fandom, and how junior high weirdly prepared him for celebrity. Bonus: the guys revisit the era when Woody was a budding movie star, which happens to unearth an old grudge.  Like watching your podcasts? Visit http://youtube.com/teamcoco to see full episodes.

you're barely able to open an envelope your character right right you're playing a dumb motherfucker i think am i naive naive i always preferred welcome back to where everybody knows your name with, Ted Danson, and Woody Harrelson. Sometimes. Today is a Woody day, and we're talking to my buddy, Dax Shepard. Dax is married to Kristen Bell, also one of my favorite people, and he has all the things that I really admire in a person. He's incredibly intelligent, funny, charismatic,

and probably due to his dedication to sobriety, one of the most truthful people I've ever met. He is an actor, comedian, filmmaker. He's hosted the hit podcast Armchair Expert since 2018. And the truth is we probably invited him here because we need to figure out how to do this and he's one of the best. I have to preface this conversation with a warning. Dax's mind moves a mile a minute. So buckle up. You're in for a treat.

Ladies and gentlemen, Dax Shepard. We'll be honest. We're nervous. Wonderful. I'm sure Ted told you, but when he asked me to do it, I said, I'm happy to come interview you two. So if at any point we want to just 180 this, I'm happy to do that. We don't have to 180 it. It's happening right now.

It already seems so much better to me to answer questions. Yes, right? A lot of experience, a lot of practice. So my first thought when I learned of this. He's going for it. No, I need to get some perfunctory things out of the way. Because when I first heard you guys were doing it in order, like, great. I'd love to hear these two.

Second thought, well, they must really have been friends. That's really comforting. Third, isn't Woody banging back edibles and vapes by like 11 a.m. by his own declaration? How will you manage that? And will the recording times reflect his imbibing period? This is literally my thought. Like, right when I learned of it, I was like, how's Ted going to navigate that aspect?

All of those things you just mentioned are true. Okay. I did a little LSD before this, you know, because I just wanted to get in the right head space. Wonderful.

But I don't think I did too much. No. But it's just coming on. Your face is, your face has an openness that only Lasurgic Acid 22 can give a host, but you sound great. But to answer your question, Woody assured me that he does not work stone. Oh.

That is true. Really? Even when you're acting, you don't? Especially. Well, I mean, even doing an interview, anything, I do not work stone because it does not work for me. You must hate working. I go straight to paranoia. Okay.

And that's, we were talking yesterday with Georgie. That was the first time I experienced where, you know, I thought the show was over and then we're up smoking. And then they're like, Woody, come down for your monologue and scene, scene. And I'm like, what? And then came down and what would have taken one took 10 takes. And Jimmy Burrows was like, what the hell? Where did Woody go? Could you go back up to the roof and bring Woody back down with you?

Right. It really is. It's a difficult thing for me. All the things that make pot great for me, like just the relaxation and the communal aspect, they just all go out the window and it's pure paranoia. The dampening of the monkey brain. Is that what you get from it? That, that, the little organ grinder monkey.

Yeah. So who pitched this to you guys and what, what are the fears? Oh, I'm glad you're saying that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He pitched it to me as an idea and I just immediately said yes, because you get, I get more Teddy time, which I would like to have. Yeah. And Georgie was the one who said, you know, the only way you're going to spend time with

people because we're all so busy is if you work with them. So now we're getting, you know, daily encounters. And I had the same reaction about hanging with Woody. But before Woody came into the picture, it was like, yeah, I would love to celebrate. Cheers. It's worth celebrating. And I wouldn't be here talking to you if it weren't for cheers. So I'm very happy about that.

And I would like then when Woody came on board, it was like, I also want to meet Woody's friends and introduce my friends to Woody, you know, because I don't get out much. So this is a great way to spend time with people. You got it. It is. It's embarrassing that we all have to work together. We have to figure out a way to work together to see each other. And I'm a little disheartened by it. No, you're right.

Like, I'll have someone on the show. Someone will come to my podcast. And I'm like, oh, that's right. This is my favorite person to spend two hours with. Why on earth can't I figure out how to do that if it's not under the guise of work? Because you're married. You have 400, you know, you're juggling of work because you're married you have 400 you know you're juggling a lot of stuff and you have two kids yeah i guess that is the explanation well but

but there is something you look great with the beard sorry yeah you really do oh my gosh thank you guys please but you know your point is well taken in that uh you know why don't we spend time with people like there's been so many projects I've done at the end of it. I'm like this family. Yeah. I will never let go of, I will see them all the, it just, it just happens that you, you go your way and you're not in the same town or whatever. It's particularly brutal when you're young and you have this job. Like, I definitely remember leaving my first movie. We were all in New Zealand for four months together making this movie. And I thought, well, I found my family finally.

And then, yeah, you don't ever see it again. But it's truly heartbreaking at the beginning of it before you get kind of accustomed to it. And then you almost feel too like, was that fraudulent? Like, weren't we all in love? Yeah. And then just all this time passes. I made a movie and the director said,

if the movie makes over $60 million, you and I will be having dinner and hanging out a lot. If it's under $60 million, we won't see each other ever again. And it made $60 million, we won't see each other ever again. And it made $60 million. On the dot.

Yeah, on the dot. So it was a push. So what have you done? Never saw him again. Well, that'll explain probably why I haven't stayed in touch with many of the directors I've worked with, because I've only gotten a few over 60 million in the last 20 years. So that explains a lot. Hey, so you asked us about this podcast. Who asked you? Did you say, I'm going to do this? Or did somebody ask you? Or how'd that start for

you? Well, what's funny is that kind of gets said, but I felt very late. Mark Maron was already incredibly huge. There are many others that were really successful at the time. What led me to it was, I, like you guys, had been on late night talk shows, I mean, really probably 75 times, maybe more. So many late night talk shows, which are fun. I really like them. We're in the house that a late night talk show built. I would go on other people's podcasts and I would go, oh my God, I don't feel like someone shot a starter pistol and I've got to be brilliant in eight minutes. Yeah. And if I'm not, there's no going back. And it's just, it's bit after bit and so fast. And I just, I did a few podcasts and I was like, oh my God, I can like chill and breathe. I can be all of me. Maybe

there'll be some bits in there, but maybe there'll be a lot about fucking trauma and sobriety or whatever else. And I would leave these long form podcasts and go like, I love that. Like that is really enjoyable. And I would like to do that more often and with people I know. And so that was the impetus for it. It's just I had been a guest on many and always really, really loved it. I had never had a bad experience. But did you go, I've got a garage or a room up above this little shack here, and I'm going to just do it and see where it goes?

Or did you have? That's what happened. Yeah, we had bought this house that we've been renovating for five years. And with it came above a garage, this old attic that was 100 years old at that point. And we weren't doing anything to the attic. The house was going to be under construction. So I was like, okay, that's where I'll go record this thing. And Kristen was like, this is so adorable.

You're going to have a little radio show in the attic of the new house. She was very supportive, but also also very like isn't this cute um and then through i guess the the the combined interest of her and i like i don't think if i had come out with the podcast it would have broken through but the very first episode was her and i and it and also it didn't go well which which… A little argument or just… Absolutely. She wants to be at Michael's buying yarn. Like, that's what her day was going to be about, was going to Michael's and going fucking nuts.

Any yarn she saw, she was going to buy. And she was like, when is this thing? And then she sat down and she had it in her mind that I was going to try to trick her into really revealing something. Which of course, then I sensed that and then I was annoyed. I was like, well, don't you fucking know I'm your protector. I would never. So now I'm triggered. And it's just a total locking of the antlers for 90 plus minutes. And then we somehow navigate out of it by the end. I heard it and I was like, this is terrible. This can't be released. It'll expose that we often can't stand each other. And I really sat on it for a minute. And then ultimately I was like, no, no, this is great.

This is great. You don't see this. That's what you dream of as a listener. And that weirdly set the tone going forward, which was like, well, because I was, to be honest, very embarrassed how I sounded in a bickering match with my wife. I thought I sounded one way, but when the audio evidence was presented to me, I was like, oh boy, buddy, you're a little controlling and you fucking clean up your act. Like I was embarrassed by how I was acting. So my own vanity didn't want me to release it, but we did. really liked that in fact they that's what they

liked about it and i thought that's weird i guess that's the lane i'll stay in so most of it was about my failures and then it became about the guests failures and the guests challenges and hurdles and the times they were defeated not the time they held a fucking statue above their head, but the time they were lost. That's why every time you interview me, we talk about my psoriasis. We got to get into our shit. It's not often. What's the saying? A fisherman always sees another fisherman at sea.

You and I are the only two people I know with psoriatic arthritis, which is the grossest unsexiest sounding condition but but we're brothers in that aren't we yes we are that's a bond psoriatic arthritis i've reached a speaking of our condition yeah i've reached a phase where sit back woody yeah now woody would never have to worry about this because what i know about woody is he eats completely it He eats air. Perfect. Yeah.

Yeah. He'll put any other thing in his fucking body. Drugs. Just drugs. Yes. But if you got to chew them, they got to be organic. But my skin started revolting. It used to just be my joints would hurt really bad if I had a flare up.

But then it started being, oh, my eyebrows would flake. My skin would turn red. Have you had that side of it? I could have made another Ted with the amount of flake I had. I want the flaky Ted. You? Yeah. You work hard for your money.

So in a cup? well, you do. Okay. You have to deal with me on a daily basis. I mean, I work for my money like hard. I don't know. But you're saying that because you enjoy your work. So it doesn't seem hard. That's what I'm saying.

Yes. Let's go with that. All right. You work hard for your money, Nick. So when it comes to your wireless plan, why would you give away your hard-earned money to big wireless? It's time to make the switch to consumer cellular. I feel like you're talking to me, not the listener. Now you're just talking to me. No, I'm working you. I'm working you. I tell you, you're going to be switching before you even know it. And you'll be grateful.

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You know, people would have believed it if you hadn't pointed that out. Now it seems like you have to point it out because they don't believe it. Now it seems fake. We can redo this. For a limited time, you can sign up with Consumer Cellular and save $50 with promo code TED50. Visit consumercellular.com slash TED50 or call 1-888-FREEDOM and mention promo code TED50. That's consumercellular.com slash TED50.

Promo code TED50. Terms and conditions apply. Savings based on Consumer Cellular's single-line 1, 5, and 10-gigabyte data plans with unlimited talk and text compared to T-Mobile and Verizon's lowest-cost single-line post-paid unlimited talk, text,abyte data plans with unlimited talk and text compared to t-mobile and verizon's lowest cost single line post paid unlimited talk text and data plans january 2024 see here's one of the things i love and admire and i'm not in this place myself but you because of your sobriety you seem to be not not seem be, you're willing to go anywhere and you go with

truth and humor. And that to me is like so attractive that you will go anywhere and you don't have to worry about hiding some part of yourself. So all of you is available. I hide still. I do hide stuff. Well, first of all, thank you so much. And also, no, I still have secrets. I will say that really, I do owe the credit of it from going to AA for 20 years, which is I entered that situation. A, it's fucking awkward. B, I'm an atheist. C, I hate cults. D, I don't join clubs. Every reason I would not be there, but I cults. D, I don't join clubs. Every reason I would not be there. But I'm going to die if I don't go there. So it's a good motivator to embrace things you don't believe in.

Do you have a certain group that you attend or you go around a different? I don't dance around that much. No, I've been going to like a house meeting for 18 years. I host one. It it's the same people mostly. Largely. I like a little sprinkling of variety because we all end up just right. Someone needs. Now, what about when someone comes in and it's like their first, you know, meeting and they're just they got to be quite. That's the best thing that can happen to us. Really? Because it rejuvenates your. You're reminded.

Yeah. It's been, it's been, now look, I've relapsed in the last 19 years, but it has been 19 years since I drank alcohol and did cocaine. And I, all the stories now are funny. Yeah. Because I lived. And as is everyone in AA, their stories are funny. Yeah. But it's really helpful for someone to sit down on day one and look at

their face and go oh no no that's right you're close to suicide you're or you're close to have just died the night before like you're fucking miserable you're you don't wander in an aa meeting because you've had a great day no one wants to join aa but was immediately blown away by hearing men tell on themselves about things they've done or that they were wrestling with. That would have, A, you're not supposed to say that stuff out loud. You're supposed to keep that inside and let that eat away at you. And then you die and no one knew. And observing the reaction, like, oh, people weren't like, oh, what a scumbag.

They were like, oh, fucking A, do I know that? Right? Like, what just happened? And just over time, I thought, oh, this thing we were told is a total lie. If you own all your shit and talk about all your failings and your desires and all these ways you're a shitty dad, it does not make people judge you. It makes people relate to you. Yes. And I have said some stuff in the last six years that I was certainly scared to say. And there are even moments where I'm like, well, now that'll finally be the time I said something too much. And it just, to this point,

that's never happened. It's always been more. I just hear like, holy shit. Thank you. I was in that same spot last week or whatever it is. And the pill that would make it all go away instantly would cut you without sounding saccharine out of a, I will call it a spiritual trip. You call it whatever you want, but of self-knowledge that makes you so much stronger and empathetic and with yourself and others around you. And, you know, it's a gift. My favorite people are people who are sober and still find joy and excitement in life without whatever it was they did. Oh, yeah, the sober people who are Debbie Downers, my God.

But, you know, I was thinking about, it just feels like a lot of people are saying, okay, well, you can take mushrooms or you can take LSD or you can take these things that will liberate you and you will cure your depression. They've been talking a lot about mushrooms and curing your depression. Yeah, rewire your neural pathways. But it's like,'s like you can take that, and it can bring you up to the elevator to the top of the mountain, but you still got to take the elevator back down and walk up, right?

Yes. Well, what they're seeing now. That was good. That's really good. Let's take a moment. You're right. I was about to blow by that, and that was disrespectful, and I'm on your show. Thank you for it.

That was a whopper. Wow. that and that was disrespectful and i'm on your show thank you for that was a whopper wow you wouldn't be offended if i had that tattooed on my arm would you you won't claim trademark or anything will you they're doing a ton of work right now at johns hopkins studying the effect of psychedelics on people with ptsd on addiction super promising stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Really good science that really is just picking up where they stopped in the 70s once it became Schedule 1. Which was also about PTSD back in the 70s. It was about dealing with trauma.

Vietnam, all these young guys that were coming back. So yes, in theory, it will form connections in that state that otherwise you really aren't going to be able to do. So I'm a big proponent of it. I think we're even in a really interesting place for sobriety, people in sobriety, people in AA. Bill Wilson, the founder of AA famously, was doing LSD therapy while sober and writing this book that's curious that's in the michael pollan documentary almost godlike that book is like wait where did that come from from one man who was a repeat failure at everything and insolvent and all these other things yeah it's kind of spooky um a's fascinating for a trillion reasons.

One of them just being there's no organization. It's an organization that has stayed together and grown year over year, and there's no leader. You can't call anyone to complain. No one's got the money. There is no money. All that is worth studying as far as just an organization. There's enough money for the coffee.

Just enough for the coffee. And clearly not enough for the coffee because it's terrible. There's no Starbucks being brewed in the church basements, at least not the ones I've gone to. But that is amazing that it's like there's no leader of it. It's just like a chapter of it will sprout up, and it's just sustained by the people who attend it, right? Yeah, and I can't tell you you're doing it wrong. There's no one has authority. There's no deity.

There's no prophet. Just keeps showing up. Yeah, and so it has yet to get corrupted, which is, I think, almost impossible for any organization to exist and not get corrupted. Any organization, especially the spiritual ones that have a spiritual message. All of a sudden, the survival of that organization becomes more important. Yes. In fact, it seems like almost all of them. In fact, I have crazy theories you look at any of any organization like this that has a leader

that is male very soon after part of the spiritual experience would be fucking the leader of the cult or the religious organization that seems to be the sacrament always lies within the testicle somehow all roads lead to that so just Mary, my wife, had the best phrase for you. I said, what do you like about Dax? And the sobriety and the honesty and all of that stuff. And then she said, your sense of humor is dazzling. Oh my God, what a wonderful, what a great word. And he is so fast and dazzling. I find it very sexy. I just want to put that completely out there.

She said sexy. That was the word? Yes. Whoa. Peace out, guys. That's it. That's the end of the road for me. We've done it all.

And everyone I mentioned that, you know, you were going to be here today, they're all blown away. They all love you. Every single, they're like, Dax Shepard, are you kidding? And yet, if my wife said the sexy part, I don't know. I don't know if there's trouble after that. I mean, I should be okay about that.

I mean, you are a sexy man. I can say it. I just don't want her saying, listen, I am. I understand that point of view. My wife worked with Ted for 65 years. Who's dazzlingly sexy herself.

Yeah. And I told her right out of the gates, if you don't bag Danzen, I'm fucking your, you ain't working hard enough. I'll be disappointed if you don't take the chance, if ever presented, to lock lips with Sam Malone. You're a coward. And you have my permission.

So, I think Mary's only meeting me a quarter of the way there, to be honest. But Mary has such an X factor. When you meet her, she is incredibly sexy. There's something very sexy about her. But what I'll say is curious, and this is a peek behind the curtain. We've spent a lot of time socially together. Not as much as I'd like, but enough. Yes.

And funny enough, she's the me in my relationship, and you're the Kristen. So generally, when we have a double date, you and I pair off because you're like Kristen. I'm like Mary, and Mary and Kristen pair off. And of course, I just want approval from all females. And I'm like, I like Mary, but it's a bummer we're the same person because I would like her to get my approval instead of Kristen's. But it's just not what she's in the market for. So you and I, you're stuck with me. Have you felt that?

Yeah, I love our psoriatic conversations. Yeah, we can get talking about gluten, guys. Well, let's quickly talk about Cheers for one second. Your turn. Cheers. Okay, I imagine the people you will talk to will have very specific memories of Cheers. Certainly, I was born in 75. So it really, to me, it was something like 60 minutes. It just existed.

This is a sitcom. It's on every day, I think. And it's been on forever and it'll be on forever. It was like the standard I was born into. I didn't know anything about show business. I since got into it. And I recommend the pilot of Cheers nonstop to creative people and directors because, and I have watched the pilot of Cheers probably 15, 20 times. It's the best pilot of all time. There's an efficiency to that pilot that is impossible.

Yeah. Right. You're maybe there first. We're just introducing one character after another into the bar. And by the time everyone's there, we everybody we know exactly what they're gonna do it's the best setup i've ever seen it's so worth studying and i'm sure there's a bunch of people responsible for that but obviously burroughs has got to be one of them brothers well burroughs says the director but the charles brothers wrote that yeah yeah i guess they're they would have designed that that way we reshot the last scene like two or three times, you know, because we had time before it aired. So they'd go back and we'd shoot a show

and then reshoot just to get it perfect. Really? Yeah. I didn't know that. Yeah, and Shelley Long was, let's toot Shelley's horn. She, I don't think the audience had seen that character since lucille ball you know she was an amazing character and she did it beautifully and i think

she really along with everybody but she was kind of what put us on the map, I think. Well, when you're trying to think about why things work, there's so many aspects. One of them is that, like, she was the engine in a sense, right? And it allowed Sam Malone to be a counterpuncher. Right. Yeah. And that's what you, Ted Danza, need to be doing to be perfect at being, like, it just lands perfectly into your skill set to be doing to be perfect at being like, it's, it, it just lands perfectly into your skillset to be a counter puncher. So it's like, we don't know that Sam works without

that. Yep. Yeah. And when Sam, when, when Shelly left, I think we all, I don't know if you did, but I think we all wondered, Oh, yeah. You know, my dance partner just left. Is this going to work? Yeah. On a car, like you can lose one wheel yeah we can maybe limp at home on three but when the motor gets lifted out you start wondering well that's i mean we're in the middle of a writer's strike right now but it's time to toot writers horns because we had uh nick calisanto who played the coach and he was the heart and soul of cheers you know in the beginning people adored his character nicky died and along comes woody harrelson and within the end of the first episode he was in people were madly in love with him yes you're great and a wonderful actor, but the writing, the writing just went, you know, here, love this person too. That was, uh, Rhea Perlman's sister wrote that. Heidi. Heidi. Yeah. Yeah. No kidding.

Yeah. Pretty cool. But thank you for saying that. What's interesting too, is that you, I would kind of compare, not as much, bear with the analogy yes but when you meet henry winkler yeah he's the sweetest man to ever walk on earth and you go how ironic he played the fawns right he was fucking motorcycles leather jacket snapping his fingers not henry winkler yeah Not Henry Winkler. Yeah. And you're playing like a fucking jock alpha male bar owner. Yeah. And I couldn't be further from that. Yes, but it works. Yeah.

It's really incredible. Like, as I got to know you, like, I grew up with you as Sam Malone. You were first Sam Malone before you were Ted. I told you this story when I interviewed him. You'll like this. Ted was one of the first celebrities I ever saw in my life. I told you this story when I interviewed him. You'll like this. Ted was one of the first celebrities I ever saw in my life. I was in Beverly Hills. I was a motorcycle messenger in 95 when I moved to LA. I'm at a crosswalk. I look to my right. There's fucking Ted. Ted just standing next to me. And he says, he sees that I see him and he says,

huh, Beverly Hills, everyone's so rich. Wouldn't you think everyone be in a better mood? And I'm like, God, did this guy just deliver? I didn't even engage him. He gave me this thing. The light turned green. You walked on your way. And I thought, that guy's awesome. He just stopped and said that to me. And then I learn who Ted is and he's just not Sam Malone. It's kind of fascinating. And then I'd say for you similarly, you're playing a functional, you know, you're barely able to open an envelope.

Your character, right? Right. You're playing a dumb motherfucker. I think, naive. Naive. Innocent. I always preferred naive.

Okay. Well, sometimes you play naive and it reads as dumb. Sometimes you play in love. But what I do wonder is you were moving through the world in that time frame because I, too, played a very popular dum-dum in this movie, Idiocracy. And it is a peculiar existence when people know you for being a dumb-dumb and they meet you. And then what you're hearing most often is like, well, you're not dumb. It's a weird way to move. It's like the kindest flatter. You're not dumb. And you realize, oh, everyone thinks I'm dumb. Of course they do. I'm playing a dumb-dumb all the time. And when it was a thing

for quite a while, I noticed myself, you know, when I meet people for the first time and I try to really show them how smart I was. And that was not me either. I have a theory about that. I think that if you're going to play, in my case, a womanizing, bar hopping, Sam Malone. If you were that in life, I don't think you would get the joke. It's too close. You can't do it justice, I think. I agree.

And the same with you. If you were a Woody and not someone so bright as you are, then I don't think you could play it as well. Yeah. Thank you for saying that, T. You're welcome. I needed that 30 years ago, but it's fine now i owe you so much buddy i'll make up for it i promise really let that one ripen on the vine before i gave it to you is it as sweet as i would think after 30 years I guess I'm curious, having been on a couple shows that did well, but I, of course, did it in the 2000s.

Parenthood. Parenthood was pretty popular, yeah. And I was on the show Punk that was really popular. You made him cry. That's just wrong. You got to do what they tell you to do. Yeah, yeah. Right?

Yeah, you're not there to make friends. You're there to break out and tell America you should buy tickets to see me do things. He's gotta go down. That show made me so nervous. If it's me or Timberlake, it's gonna be me walking out of there. See, I couldn't do that.

I could not do that. I didn't like it. You're just too sweet, T. No, I'm too chicken. I'm too... Really? Yeah. I lack courage, guys. Let're just too sweet to eat. No, I'm too chicken. I'm too... Really? Yeah. I lack courage, guys.

Let's call it for what it is. Anyway. But can I ask what... Yeah. That show, to my knowledge, was the biggest show on television. What was the light switch like? And what were the 80s like? The light switch.

Do me that. What do you like? The light switch. Do me that. What do you mean with the light switch? Like, I'd imagine, Woody, you weren't on that show one week. And you went everywhere and you're anonymous. And then I imagine within a couple weeks of being on that show, everywhere you walked, people knew who you were. Yeah, that was quite a shift. Like a dramatic. Yeah.

From poverty and anonymity. Turnkey. Yeah, that was quite a shift. Like a dramatic. Yeah, from poverty and anonymity. Turnkey. Yeah, but it really ultimately felt kind of right. Wonderful, wonderful. That's great. That thing of, I can't get a table at the restaurant. here's the best table just felt like a nice transition yeah yeah yeah i try to explain that to people and it's a very gross topic to explore which is like some people transition into it quite effortlessly and some people never really can embrace it yeah yeah and i guess for me i took to it pretty well as well and then i wondered why and i i think for me and so i want to know really bad about your high school and junior high i had a phase in junior high there's the only time in my life where i was cute as hell and my brother was five years older than me. He put me in the right clothes. I had the right haircut. And he's like, you're a skateboarder. I'm like, okay, let's do it. Showed up at junior high and every older girl was like, who is this

weirdo? I'm in. So I had three years of my life where I was Brad Pitt in my small town of Milford, Michigan. And it sounds crazy, but it did prep me because when I'd walk down the hallway, some people were pretty pumped. I just sound so arrogant to admit, but I did. I had a little three-year window where I kind of was hot shit. And so when it happened again, 20 years later, I was like, here we go. We're back in junior high. It took me 20 years to get back, but we're here. Get back to what feels right. And now I can buy shit. Can I ask what kind of hole

it left in both of your lives? Because it went on for what, a decade or so? It was 11 years, eight for us together, right? Yep. You were on it for eight. I'll tell you,

there was no hole for Woody. Woody, you went squirting out the door and did uh natural born killer natural born killers which was huge right so i don't think you were thinking loss and well natural born killers was became huge but it was huge in a bad way at first because, you know, at the time, it was used as like a, you know, a model of how much Hollywood has infected the country with violence. Right. And it was NC-17 as well. That was a big story point. Was it? Actually, I don't want to disagree with you.

I'm not sure. I'm not not either but i feel like but i know that there was a lot of censoring before he could he had literally 150 cuts that the that the mpa yeah mpa you know our own governing board our own censoring board that that we created so as not to have the government do it was might as well have been the government. Because it felt like a roadmap to doing bad things or because it was identifying? Why? Why do you think? Well, because what it decided seemed sometimes pretty random and also really worked to the

detriment of the artist's vision, which is really the main problem with it. But anyway, I just wanted to say when it came out, it was like blasted by the media as an example of, but what was ironic was it was like really more satirical than it was meant to be satirical about that very thing. What they were protesting was also the point of the film right that's what was weird about it was saying exactly what they

were saying yeah yeah and so intentionally for a long time and for years i knew when there'd been a school shooting or something because i'd be walking through the airport and I'd see on the on the tvs images of natural-born killers and I'd be like okay someone something happened and they always would use it as the example of the most heinous you know crime in terms of violence in a movie so anyway but yeah but then ultimately it's accepted as a really good movie. But I'm just remembering, you actually did White Man Can't Jump before that, right? Yeah. Was that the first off of Cheers big shot you got? Was it during Cheers or tail end?

That was during Cheers. But just before that, I did Doc Hollywood with Michael J. Fox. Hey, you know what? Fuck you. That did pretty well. Fuck you. Sorry, Teddy. Want to tell that story?

What do you mean? Son of a bitch. What's the story? I don't even know. Was that your role that he stole off from under you? No, no. Oh, you were going to do that. No, no, no.

Oh, you've forgotten. All right. Here it is. I'm getting angry just all over again. Oh, wonderful've forgotten. All right, here it is. I'm getting angry just all over again. Oh, wonderful. Okay, so he was very sweet. Should I get your Zell Jans? Is this dress going to create an outburst of sorry?

Okay, so Woody comes to me and says, Teddy, the show has a premiere, and it would mean so much to me if you came. And I was like so touched and so sweet. And in the evening, I walk in, and he says, right here, I've saved seats for you. Right here. I go, my God, the kid loves me.

He really does. This is astounding. Going through the movie, and it's all sweet and wonderful. And towards the end through the movie and it's all sweet and wonderful and towards the end of the movie michael and the kind of hickey town that you know he brings them all including woody's character to hollywood figures they're seeing. And the line was, oh, oh, look, there's a movie star. And then Woody says, no, that's Ted Danson.

The entire audience roars with laughing. And so I had to sit there going oh yeah that was a good one stab stab in the heart i thought you might think it was funny but i guess not no you left out one word that's just ted dance yes so it was just even worse oh see even worse yeah i did get you back i don't know if you if it made the cut but seth mcfarland's film ted they wanted me ted danson to be interviewed about the cheers years and the funny thing was i was all coked up and whatever and they're watching it on the tv and i i got to say somebody like oh oh, and Woody, Woody Harrelson, smallest penis I've ever seen on a man. No, I didn't see that, Teddy.

Well, it's in the podcast now, my friend. Good to know, dude. Yeah. Okay, I'm walking. We're out. You can admit that you're just joking about that now that we're, you know, on the subject. I have not seen. Well, actually, I have, haven't I?

Never mind. Moving on. Ted said, I see your that's just Ted Danson. I raise you micropenis. I'm all in, in fact, with this micropenis. It might end everything. But doesn't that go to say, even on your watch, how that would have been a huge burn. It was a huge burn in the 80s. That's not a movie star. That's a TV star. The irony now that no TV is where all this amazing

work's being done. Everyone recognizes actually how challenging it is to be on something that runs. You do a movie, it's one of 30. You do a show, it's one of 350 pitches they bought that month. It's one of 35 pilots that got made. It's one of four that got picked up. And it's one of a thousand that went season two. And that the triumph of that now is understood. And there isn't that chasm. But then that was a real thing.

You were probably actually embarrassed by that. Did you hear that, Woody? Did you hear that, Woody? Did you hear that? The whole movie star thing is really like blown out of proportion. I'm still not talking to you. Micropenis. Smallest penis I've ever seen. Now, you know that's not true.

Now, granted, I'm only a middling, you know, I'm in the middle of the road type of guy. The things that you do with it are far from mediocre. Thank you. Yeah, it might be middle of the road, but you're on a country back road. We get to ask you questions now for our benefit, which is. Let me tell you one funny story that is about me. That just was, I was reminded of it because of this little snafu. Yeah, that mean joke that your friend Woody made about you.

Very mean. Kristen, I think you were there, Ted. You were probably there. Either Kristen was nominated for a Golden Globe or Mike Schur was or the show was. Something to do with Good Place. We go to the Golden Globes and part of your monkey brain is like, we did it. We're at the Golden Globes with everybody. You know, we left our small towns. Here we are at the Golden. We're dressed up. You're feeling pretty good. You're walking around. You're like, oh, wow. Some people know me here. Like I actually, I belong here. And right when

you're feeling it, the show starts and Jim Carrey's up there and he starts doing a bit about how he's no longer sitting on the floor because he's now on TV and the TV people sit way in back. And now the camera's following Jim Carrey through the audience. And you realize, I think Jim Carrey's coming to our table to make fun of us sitting up here. Oh, it's never too late to be the freshman not invited to the party. All these layers within layers, and all of a sudden, we're all just smiling along. But the bit is, here's where the fucking losers sit,

and he came to our table. The movie star wannabes. This thing flipped on a dime. We were just feeling really radical about being here. And now we realize now we're in the nosebleeds. I always feel like you've got a numbers, you know, scotch tape to your back that you can't see. But it's your ranking, you know, and you walk in the room. But it is.

It's over there. All glory is fleeting. That's for sure. Can we sincerely pick your brain? Yes. What's a couple of genuine things to remember as we embark on our podcast journey? Well, one thing I can at least pass on, and this came from Chris Hardwick, who, again, another pioneer, someone who had really been already doing it six years when I got in and was already hugely successful and sold the company. I interviewed him and very uncharacteristic of me because I hate availing myself to help or I can't ask for help.

I have a very hard time. I said to him, do you have any advice? And he said, go ahead and research, but you really got to throw that away. Because what inevitably happened is you'll have discovered a few stories about the person that you want them to tell. And then when they tell it,

all that'll happen was you'll get to check that off your list because you knew them to tell. And then when they tell it, all that'll happen was you'll get to check that off your list because you knew it was coming. You orchestrated it. And it's like, check. He's like, what you really want to do is stumble into a story you didn't know was coming

because your reaction will be that of a new novel story and you'll be engaged in a way. He's like, and mind you, I have in a way he's like and mind you i have not accomplished what he advised but it did i still research like a motherfucker but i really in my mind that thing's just like this safety net that's way below us it's like only there if i need to dig it out and the person is not that engaged but i think the whole thing is very similar to acting which is right like you learn the lines but then you somehow have to do this mental trick where you and the person is not that engaged. But I think the whole thing is very similar to acting,

which is, right, like you learn the lines, but then you somehow have to do this mental trick where you ditch them. Right. And you pretend you don't know what you're going to say for the next four minutes. And it's a little mental trick. But I think in doing that, you'll discover way better stuff

than you were hoping to pull out. I think that's the best advice he gave me. Which I wonder also, if you're making that analogy to acting, it's also like in acting, you never really succeed at what you're doing, if that's even the right word, or do a good job at what you're doing, unless you can relax. And so there's all these obstacles in the brain. Like I don't have a podcast. I don't know how to interview. I've never done it. I don't know. Yeah. And so all these

things that create fear in you, I know Teddy can relate to this, even though he's going to just be quiet about it, but there's this fear that you somehow have to, you know, just. Step over. Yeah. Yeah. Get around that. Yeah. You want to walk over there and you're going to have to step over some things.

And one of them's imposter syndrome, fear. Yeah. Whatever. But then you have to remember, I've been at many parties with you. I've been on a set with you. You love shooting the shit. You have that curiosity about other human beings. Yeah. And you are fascinated by other human beings.

You study other human beings. So you already have everything you need. I'm not shocked that you said that for you relaxing is the number one component. Because I put you in a category with Bill Murray. Wow. try not to fucking collapse from that compliment because he is the north star of all things in my opinion he and letterman lights out those are the guys from when i was born till now those are the two those are my heroes right and burt reynolds fucking love burt reynolds did a movie with him got to be friends

with him yeah he's who i wanted to i wanted to drive a fucking trans am and run from the law and drink cores and fuck sally field you did i did marry sally 2.0 yeah kristin's very much sally in my opinion um but uh just who i respect and and i was watching letterman interview um bill murray and in letterman said both guys hate compliments as we all do it's funny he said you know you've got to recognize uh bill that you started a comedic paradigm that is still going on people are still doing what you invented um how do you explain how you're able to do that and of course he's not dying to admit he invented a fucking comedy paradigm but he goes i guess the only thing i figured out is if i relax it'll all happen wow wow and i was like oh thank you

for that that might be the most powerful thing i've heard about acting or anything really podcasting anything yeah fucking trust that the fight will come to you and you'll know how to counterpunch and it'll all be there and it's really for me i'm sure other performers need other things but for me that's it take a breath do your mantra chill the fuck out it's always happened it'll always happen if you just chill out so i'm i'm delighted to hear that's your main thing we're having trouble with our outros because it feels scripted and we're asking people to rate the show and rate it and subscribe to Apple or whatever. How do you do your, give us a hint on outros.

Boy, that's a good and a hard question. I mean, do you guys have written outros? Let me read it. This is great. Now we're really finding out how the sausage is made. That's fine. You're a written outro. Oh, even I That's fine. You're written out, Drew. Oh, even I have some dialogue.

I didn't get these sides. You're doing it now. I wasn't giving my grades. Okay, great. So I'm going to do Woody, and then I'm going to do Ted. Okay. Let's see if you can tell the difference. I don't do an impression of either of you.

Well, that's it for this week's show. Special thanks again to Dan Shepard for joining us. We had a great time going deep with him. We'll see you back here next week. If you love the podcast, tell a friend, subscribe on Apple Podcasts and give us a five-star rating. This is a terrible Ted, but here we are. Rating and review, it'll really help us a bunch. Love you all. Back to Woody. Thanks, Dan, for coming in. Well, Dax, thank you. I love you. And I love you too, Woody. And thank you for being here. Listeners, please go back and listen to our previous episode with Kristen Bell. You'll get her side of their relationship, including the story of how they met, which is a good one. That's it for this week's show.

Special thanks to our friends at Team Coco. You know the drill. Tell a friend if you like the show and give us a great review on Apple Podcasts if you like. I find that, you know, like when you rate, I don't know, a delivery service or something, it's so much easier just to hit the five stars all at once than to try to figure out if you want to do a one or two or three. So just nail that five and, you know, what the heck, why not? Back here with you next week, where everybody knows your name. You've been listening to Where Everybody Knows Your Name with Ted Danson and Woody Harrelson,

sometimes. The show is produced by me and Leo. Executive producers are Adam Sachs, Colin Anderson, Jeff Ross, and myself. Sarah Federovich is our supervising producer. Our senior producer is Matt Apodaca. Engineering and mixing by Joanna Samuel with support from Eduardo Perez. Research by Alyssa Graw. Talent booking by Paula Davis and Gina Batista. Our theme music is by Woody Harrelson, Anthony Gann, Mary Steenburgen, and John Osborne. Special thanks to Lily Navarro. We'll have more for you next time, where everybody knows your name.