Where Everybody Knows Your Name with Ted Danson and Woody Harrelson (sometimes) - Jack and Michael Whitehall

Episode Date: December 25, 2024

Ted Danson and Woody Harrelson are across the pond with English comedian Jack Whitehall and his father, Michael Whitehall! The pair talk with Ted and Woody about how their father-son dynamic developed, the process of making “Travels with my Father” on Netflix, the time when Michael represented Daniel Day-Lewis, dealing with hecklers, and much more. Like watching your podcasts? Visit http://youtube.com/teamcoco to see full episodes.

And whenever I do shows on stage and I'd look out and I'd see my dad, he would always have a resting bitch face. [♪ Music playing. Welcome back to where everybody knows your name, with me and Woody Harrelson sometimes. Last year, Woody was doing a play in London and I was going to be in town. So we thought, why not do a podcast while we're here and talk to someone we'd otherwise might not be able to. So for this episode, we're joined by British comedian Jack Whitehall

and his father, author, and producer, Michael Whitehall. I know a bunch of you will know Jack from shows like Fresh Meat and Bad Education. If you haven't seen it, I highly recommend Travels with My Father on Netflix in which both Jack and Michael take trips to foreign lands in an attempt to strengthen their bond. Meet Jack and Michael Whitehall.

I'm trying to think, is there another father-son comedian team? Not that you're both whatever, but is there anyone else who acts with their father with such regularity or vice versa? I don't think so. I mean, there have been a couple of comedians over here in the UK that have done shows, mainly with their mothers actually. But yeah, me and dad, I think, were one of the first to

do anything together. And we started actually doing a stage show first, because I'd talked about him in my stand-up so much, and he'd been the butt of a lot of jokes. And I felt like I'd maybe exhausted that avenue. And then a friend of mine who was producing the show said, why don't you just get him up on stage with you? So then we were doing the Edinburgh Festival and for three nights we did this little show where I would interview guests that were performing at the festival and Michael was meant to sit on stage in a chair

and sort of be like a prop, like Madge in... Madge in Barry Humphries, you know, the Barry Humphries show. I don't, yeah. Madge just sits in a chair just in front of the stage. She's a little old lady. She just doesn't speak and that's the joke. And he used to talk to her and then she'd just sit there nodding and she had no face.

So, do you agree with that Madge? Oh yes, dear. Of course you do. So that was the part. And that was the part. That was the role. And then obviously when it happened, that's not what came to pass. And Michael was getting in here and there and everywhere and undermining me and telling me that I was a terrible interviewer and asking very indiscreet questions to all of the guests and basically completely stealing the show. And we did it for like three nights in this

small venue and it just so happened that like someone from the BBC had been in and they were like, oh, we'd love to do this on television. So then we ended up doing a chat show for three seasons on the BBC where again, Michael was sitting there and essentially upstaging me. What was that one called? That was called Back Chat, which we actually recorded at the Riverside Studios where you're doing your play at the moment. And we interviewed people like Joan Collins and Bear Grylls and Gary Lineker. And you sat up at that desk being an interviewer. Yeah. And then I sat in an armchair.

Basically kept trying to button and tell the story of my conception to every guest that we had on. Could we get just a taste of that? kept trying to button until the story of my conception to every guest that we had on. Could we get just a taste of that? That story's been retired a long time ago. And then yeah, from that we ended up doing our travel show because the people liked the sort of dynamic of us working together. You got bored, be honest, with that other show.

Because you got bored with interviewing people. Because you were saying, this is my show, I'm the talent, I do not want to sit here interviewing Joan Collins. Any truth in that joke? I mean I do find the interview format quite hard because I do think I like the sound of my own voice too much and I'm always trying to like not tell jokes, not butt in and try to be a proper conversation less but I don't think I necessarily back then had the skill set.

I just wanted to top everything that anyone said. Although Joan Collins did if you remember on that particular show. She stood up and walked up. She walked off. Because of you? No, no, no. Not because she was upset, but she was just bored.

It's quite boring this show. What's it called? They said Bat Chat. Well, there's not much chance for Bat Chat because I can't get a word in any way. First break of filming and she tried to walk off the set and I was like, where's she going? And does she think it's over? And I was like, Joan, I had to run after her and be like, no, no, we've still got like three more sections of the show.

She was like, well, I can't stay in city. I have dinner reservations. Yes, I have dinner reservations. And we were like, well, could you move across the dinner reservations? And she walked off. And then the only way we could get her back was by literally luring her back onto the set with champagne. So someone had to run out into the bar at the Riverside Studios by some like Moe and

then we literally like had to coax her back into the studio with the champagne. And once she was, you know, imbibed, she was then willing to sit through the next three parts of the show. This is why Woody and I are sitting where we are. You guys can't scoot out whenever you want. She also told them a staggering story, which I don't think ended up in the show, where she told me, because I said it must have been exhausting to have been as famous as you are for so long and like, you know, for so long.

That was the moment when she got up and walked off. She went, how dare you? And no, she said, yes, I had an experience there recently where I was like, I wish I could remember what it was like to be anonymous. And I thought to myself, I'm going to send my assistant out to purchase me one of those burkas that the ladies wear in the Arab world. And I will wear this and I will be able to walk around. And I did.

For the afternoon, I walked around Harrods in a burka and no one stopped me. No one came up and asked me for any selfies. And it was just this wonderful experience of knowing what it's like to not be Joan Collins for a day. I thought that is a very extreme measure to go to, to have that experience. And it's also meant that ever since she told me that story, anytime I see anyone in a burqa in Harrods, I look and I'm like, that might be Jen Collins. I loved the masks that we had to all wear for a while there.

And when anyone recognized me when I was wearing the mask, it was like, well, fuck a lot of good the mask does. I had nothing to do with COVID. It was like... I'd like to see you in a burka though, Teddy. I would too. Yeah, because I'd say you're very recognizable from the nose up. Your hair is so distinctive.

I'm tall and the hair and the bald spot in the back. I will get people go, I think that's him, and then I'll walk by them and I'll realize that they're looking at the back of me now going, yeah, that's him. I know that bald spot anywhere. I don't know how my bald spot spread to the front. I was so happy when you started to lose hair. It just made me so happy. Just love it. It's the only thing I could beat you with is follicles.

They always refer to it as a receding hairline. I've never heard it referred to as an advancing ball spot. That's what mine was, an advancing ball spot. But you know, ball is beautiful, so that's what I'm going for. Who did that first? Athletes, right? Didn't athletes first just say fucking shave their head? Well, like Michael Jordan.

Yeah, and it made it very cool. Made it cool for the rest of us. Anyway, so... What do you think of Jack's hair? I think that is far too long. And his mother doesn't like it. Your mother doesn't like your hair. No, I like it, dude.

How come Hillary got a free pass here? She's not sitting around the table. I know. She's not sitting around the table. I know. That ain't right. She'll join us. When he walks off, when he does a Joan Collins Hillary substitute, it's like tag team podcasting. Although you're right, I'm a bit trapped

for a walk off. And I couldn't get down to go under. Oh, there isn't an under. Solid under there. This is a true prison for you. But I wanted to ask you because I was interested in this, that you attended a school with Jesuit monks, like a Catholic school. Some of that is right.

In Yorkshire or something? Yeah, Yorkshire's right. Yeah. Monks is right. In Yorkshire or something? Yeah, Yorkshire's right. Yeah. Monks is right. Benedictine monks. Yeah, I did. My mother was very Catholic.

My father was very not Catholic. I mean sort of almost anti-Catholic. But as always in families, my mother won the day. And so I was sent away to a boarding school when I was nine and a half in Yorkshire, called Ampleforth, run by Benedictine monks. I mean, there were 400, there was a community of 400 monks up there of which a hundred were involved with teaching at the school and I went there when I was, and I left when I was 17 and a half, 18.

Were you surrounded by people your age who are also being sent away to school at that age? Yes, yeah. And for the first year or maybe, yeah, the first year I wasn't happy. But after that I just settled in and made lots of friends. I still have a lot of the people I met there then who I still know and am friends with. And it had a lot of comedy potential. And I basically wasted my time showing off, doing jokes on monks very often. In fact, I'll tell you a little story about the French teacher at Ampleforth who was called Father Basil.

Father Basil Hume was a great favorite of mine. And I used to play jokes on him, which he loved because he was a very jokey guy himself. And one day I went into York and I bought something called a dirty Fido, which was like a poo, a dog poo, plastic, you know, from a joke shop. I brought that back to school and I showed it to one of my friends. I said, Oh, why is all that so good? Oh, it's so funny. And what are you going to do with it? And I said, well, I'm just thinking about it.

And then I had the idea of when Father Basil, because he was the nicest of the monks and the one that I thought would have a sense of humor, when he came into the classroom, he went, this makes it sound like I'm about a hundred, because they had these big desks with steps up to the desk. So you came into the room, you went up three or four steps, sat then in you're looking at the classroom like that.

So I put the dirty Fido just on the side of one of the steps and I thought, clever, and all the boys were going, oh, you know what, he's all started. Anyway, so Father Basil comes in and says bonjour and we say bonjour because he was the French teacher. And got up, sat in the desk at the top of the steps, started talking to the kids and talked to me and everything. I thought, I mean, he's just ignored the whole thing. I mean, that didn't work at all. Surely I, maybe I put it too far to one side. Anyway, he finished the clothes, came down the steps, and as he turned to go out of the room,

he bent down, picked it up, walked to the back of the class where I was, and said, Whitehall, I think this is yours. I'm putting it in front of me. So, dissolve, and 60 years later, I think it was 60, it might have been 50, certainly 50 years later, he has become the Cardinal Archbishop of Westminster. So he is the top, top dog in the Catholic Church in England, and he's a cardinal and all that. And the school decided that it would be nice to have an event in London, like a drinks

party, and he was going to come to the party and just say hello to all the kids that were at Amplefall. So he arrives and there he is. Of course, he's got a system man with him and he's all dripping in sort of robes and rings and all that sort of stuff. Very different to what he was in the classroom. Somebody there said, Michael, would you like to meet Father Basil? Because they still called him Father Basil. Well, he wasn't actually Father Basil, he was the

Cardinal. And I said, yes, I'd love to see him again. So we formed a queue. And I got to the front of the queue. And there he was. And he smiled at at me and I thought he won't remember me. And he smiled and he said, Whitehall. And I said, yes, Father Basil. And he said, how are you? And I said, I'm very well. And he said that we had a little chat. And then they'd warned me that you must kiss his ring because now that he's Cardinal.

So when you finish talking to him, you go down one day and kiss his ring. So at the end I said, well, thank you so much. It's really nice to see you again, Father Basil. And I go down on one day, I kiss his ring, I get up. He looks at me and says, I hope you haven't put down one of those dirty poos down there. And I said, no, Father Basil. down one of those dirty poos down there.

And I said, no, Father Bansal. You said, I'll never forget that moment. Holy moly, that's amazing. That was pretty impressive. So no scars from your going away at eight? No, I got away with it. Well, one or two people got a bit scarred. You can't swim as a result of it? No, you can't swim because the monks used to teach swimming, but they didn't get into

the pool with you because they weren't allowed to take their robes off. So they'd shout at the side of the pool, um, on the swimming lessons. Well, I just walked along the bottom of the pool doing all that. And that seemed to be good enough. So I thought I'm not going to bother with all this. I only say my parents didn't swim. So swimming never came and it still hasn't. And all.

Hence that, when you, what was the segment where you went in the coldest water ever and with some women and you stuffed socks in your breeze? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. The late Windermere. Yeah, you didn't, there was no thought of you getting in the water. Oh no, no, no, no.

No. No, I think that would have been the end of the show. Yeah, you didn't, there was no thought of you getting in the water. Oh, no, no, no. No, no, no. That would have been the end of the show. Yeah, definitely. Let me ask you, is scripted? Travels with my father? It's, I mean, sometimes we attempt to have little moments that are scripted, but Michael's not great at retaining much script in his head if I do try to give him lines. So we sort of muddle through it and you know we have an idea of what some of the scenes

are going to be but yeah it's mostly improvised. Totally works by the way. It's very funny. So good. Oh thank you. You can also see when it's like you surprise each other and it goes off in some tangent like you you in the water was I think that was totally off book. Yeah that was definitely off book and you can only let plan it so much and yeah some of the

best moments are obviously when it goes off in a completely different tangent to what you're expecting and and I love cracking Michael up as well because he's the hardest person to make laugh in the world and always has been, which obviously as a comedian growing up was very challenging. And whenever I do shows on stage and I'd look out and I'd see my dad, he would always have a resting bitch face. It would be the only face that I can see. In fact, a reviewer once mentioned it, didn't it? Came to the show and gave me quite a... You see, behind me, this guy who I knew. I mean, having been an agent all my life, I've been to see millions of plays and I know all the critics and... So this guy comes in, it

was the night the critics weren't allowed in. Previews, yeah. In the preview, yeah. So this guy walks up the aisle and waves at me and I say, Oh, how are you? And then he gets on, he's in the seat behind me. And I thought, sweet old thing. And then I, the following day, or the day after, I read the review of your new show. And it said, I was sitting behind Michael, I was sitting behind Jack Whitehall's father, and he didn't laugh once.

And did he go on to make a point out of that? No, I was just going to say it wasn't really very funny. Yeah, it wasn't your cup of tea. And Michael Whitehall didn't laugh once. That's because I don't laugh. I cannot laugh. I don't do laugh. I do smiling. But if I went...

It doesn't sound genuine. It was so funny. Did your mind go, oh that's funny? Oh that's a good joke? An inside laugher. We don't like those, do we? The person that laughs on the inside. They're no use to us.

They're no good to us at all. We want an external laugher. Yeah. The inside laughter. We don't like those, do we? The person that laughs on the inside. They're no use to us. They're no good to us at all. You want an external laughter. A big, loud, hearty laughter. Cackler.

But him, it's like... And I always put it down to the fact that some of my material was maybe a little bit puerile and beneath him, but now I've heard about this dirty Fido joke that he's been fiddling. You're laughing at dog food? That's all I needed to do all these years. He just put a little fake dog food on the gore on the stage and he would have been howling. So when did you realize, were you like the class clown or how did you realize, you know,

maybe I could do this? I mean, yeah, I loved kind of showing off and performing at school and, you know, maybe I could do this. I mean, yeah, I loved kind of showing off and performing at school and, you know, did little sketches with friends and was always kind of like trying to make people laugh. But I wanted to become an actor and wanted to go into that world. But because Michael had been an agent, he was very strict with me that I wasn't to become an actor because he'd looked after some very successful actors, but he'd also looked after a lot of actors that had been out of work and knew how tough the industry could be.

So he said, you need to go to university and you need to go and study. And so my way into ending up doing comedy was going and starting to do stand-up comedy. So his plan completely backfired because I went into an even more like cutthroat industry and you know with very little sort of security. So I ended up doing it in an about way by going and doing standup comedy when I was doing a university degree for about five minutes, which I sort of dropped out of after six months because I'd love doing standup. In Manchester.

Yeah, yeah, up in Manchester. You didn't like the school? I loved being in Manchester and I loved living away with all of my mates and being in a student house and giving that lifestyle, the actual study. The school, the working part. Oh yeah, I was done with it. Because the minute I stepped on stage and the minute I did stand up for the first time, which was when I was 18, I loved it.

And it was like an instant hit. And I was like, this is what I want to do. And I feel so at home on stage and I love this. So I knew then that I was going to do that come what may, but then had to go and sort of go through the motions of applying to universities and pursuing my studies, even though I knew full well that I'd found my sort of calling. Do you still go out and test material by just showing up somewhere

and unbeknownst to anyone else just to see how it's working. I love doing that. I love that process of it. I actually think that's sometimes the most exciting bit is when you're building the hour for the first time and you're going up and you're trying out like half baked bits in a comedy club and no one knows that you're going to be turning up on stage and it's really always quite electric in the room,

especially if you know I do a comedy club in London. And then that feeling of doing a new joke for the first time and like putting something out there into the world. And it, you're like even getting half a laugh is just so fantastic. Can you get away with it now? I mean, oh, there's Jack and so he's funny and we will laugh? Or can you tell whether you're getting an honest read? Do you know what I think actually that's like something that's very good about English people

and English audiences is that you definitely get like five minutes at the beginning where they're just excited because someone you know famous is on on stage but after that five minutes grace period they're like oh yeah come on you think you're funny do you and it's straight back to like having to like work for it. And I do think you get like a pretty honest reaction from audiences, especially if you're outside of like, I mean, for me, when I first started like doing outside of London was so good. And that's why I started in Manchester, which is, you know,

definitely like a slightly tougher place to go and do stand-up, especially if you sound like me. And so I had to work that much harder, I think, to make sure that the material was strong enough to elicit a reaction from the crowd. That's what it's like walking around being me. People go, oh, Ted Danson. And in about 30 seconds, I can see their eyes wandering

and looking for a back door. But I get 30 seconds of, you know, adoration. But you, but also your, like, public persona is one of someone that's, I think, quite friendly and which must be trying because you're probably not all of the time. I am. What you see is what you get. Yeah, it's really, it takes a moment to piss me off. It really does. Well, ask Woody.

No. Yeah, no. Well ask Woody. No. Yeah. No, I've cried. That's why Michael's so lucky because his screen persona is, you know, cantankerous and dismissive. And so when he is cantankerous and dismissive in real life, when someone comes up to him, they love it. And it's so annoying because he can be so rude to people and they're like, oh, he's doing his bit.

It's Larry David. Yes, it is. Exactly. It's Larry David. And in success, it's even worse because they get away with it even more. Yeah. Because people love it and expect it. Yeah.

Yeah. It's no fun. This little girl came up to me. She was on her way back from school. So she came up to me and she said, would it be possible to have a selfie? And I said, yes, absolutely. I just love your show and I love Jack.

And then as she was about to take the picture, this is getting technical for me now because I'm doing that. Like I'm stopping traffic. Is that the phone? That's the phone. That's her phone, okay. As she was about to take the picture, she suddenly said, oh, I know what would be so, so funny and my dad would love it. And I said, yes. And she said, as I take the picture, would you just tell me to fuck off?

And I said, I don't think, no, I don't think I'd really want to. Oh, but my dad would love it. I said, I'm not sure how much your dad would love it. I think we'll just leave the fuck off. Wow. See, that's smart. Because that has become the third person to have that catchphrase because of course. Brian Cox in succession.

Brian Cox in succession. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I went up to Brian at Fullam and said, can we, so we had a really good picture of him telling me to fuck off and me telling him to fuck off. Not that funny, but sort of quite funny. But it's a great catch for you to have. Yeah, and I'm always very charming to people when they come up and speak to me. You're not.

But I have spent my entire life representing actors and actresses and enjoying it and never, ever wanting to be any kind of performer. And that has forced me into doing it. Forced. So reluctant. a performer and that has forced me into doing it. Forced? So reluctant. Yeah, because he wanted to be a double act and I was the only person he could think of. Backing into the spotlight. Yeah.

Yes. That's exactly it. Over and over and over and over. Backing into the spotlight. Crowbar-ing his way into the spotlight. Crawling over his son to get into the spotlight. Let's talk about cannabis, shall we? Yes, please.

Yeah. Please. Did you get busted on the way back into Britain? Really? No, no souvenirs were purchased. Even though you went to Woody's dispensary? We went to Woody's dispensary, which was incredible. I mean, it's like an oasis in the middle of the chaos of Los Angeles.

And yeah, you know, the idea was like, at least no matter what, you can't accomplish everything, but let it be the most beautiful you did. You were the agent to some really incredible people like Dame Judy Dench and such. So who is your favorite client? Um, difficult. Kenneth Moore. Yeah, I suppose Kenny Moore was, but I mean that was a long time ago.

He was at- Oh, I remember Kenny Moore. You remember Kenny Moore? Yeah, this guy. Yeah. Huh? Did you know Kenny Moore? Yeah, Reach for the Sky, all those British films. He was my first big client and I had such a good time with him. I had a very good time with him in Berlin with David

Bowie, but I think that's for if you're ever doing a special where you can talk, the guests can talk for half an hour. I think I'd have to do that then, but no, Kenneth Moore, great. Um, he was, he used to go out for lots of boozy lunches. Bench, bench, lovely. Um, I think Daniel Day-Lewis was probably my favorite. I just had a Colin Firth. Um, the reason I loved Daniel Day- Firth. Oh God, I love Colin Firth. The reason I loved Daniel Day-Lewis is because, and he won't mind me saying this, is that he was mad in the sweetest possible way.

I mean, I took him on from drama school, the Bristol Old Vic. Had you seen them in something? Did they do like a workshop or something? I took him on from drama school, the Bristol Old Vic. Had you seen them in something? Did they do like a workshop or something? Yeah, well, I went to the Bristol Old Vic drama school to see him do something. And then went down again when he was playing Dracula there, just to see him actually performing. And then we met him afterwards and had chats with him. And he was just very sweet, very nice sense of humor, very interesting looking, you know,

this very tall, slightly stooped, but great sense of humor. So I was thrilled and he came to me and we got him various jobs and he built up his career. But the things I had to put up with was, I mean, I just tell you one little story about, um, uh, talking to Danny in the evening was that we were having dinner, having a dinner party in our house. We used to have regular, as Jack will say, dinner parties. You used to come in and tell Joes, stand behind the curtain and go, good evening ladies and gentlemen. And then then, draw the curtain. Sometimes we'd forget you were there.

I'd just stay behind the curtain all evening. Can I come out now? Can I come out now, Debbie, please? The guests had gone home and I burst through the curtain. It was very sad. So you're sitting around the table and the phone rings, right? So I pick the phone up and say hello. And he said, oh, hello, Michael.

Is that Michael? And I say, yes. Who is this? Sorry, it's not a terribly convenient time. I'm just having a, oh, just want to say hello. Oh, how are you? And I said, who is this? Danny?

It's Danny. I said, Dary? No, Danny, Danny Day Lewis. And I said, why are you talking like that? He said, cause I'm doing the film. You know, I'm doing the film. I'm in Ireland, I'm playing. And that was when he was making that film in the name of the father. And I thought, this boy is raving mad.

Why is he, but no he's stayed in character. And I just find that bit slightly odd. You went for lunch with him on set, didn't you? I did. You knew he was doing my left foot. That's right. And he ate the lunch with his leg. With his foot. He put his foot up on the table. But he was quite normal. I mean, he was talking

to me completely normally. He never talked about his work or anything. It was all kind of social chit chat and how's Hillary and all that sort of stuff. There was no, he wasn't intense, but it was just this remaining in character that was so weird. But then there were several other actors who remained in character, which I thought was even, I mean, David Suchet, who I adore, David Suchet, and he's a great friend, and he's a terrific actor.

But David wouldn't come out of Poirot until the mustache came off. So if he was wearing the mustache during the day, filming, he would continue in character over there. Michael, would you like another glass of water? And I'd say, sorry? I'm saying it's me. I'm saying it. Huckle Prowar is saying it. Of course he is, David. Yes, you just go on being Huckle Prowar-o. There you are. Good boy. I tend to take a much shallower cut on my profession. Would either of you stay and carry?

If I had one, I probably would. What's it like to be very famous here and then go to America? Was it like, oh, here we go, starting over? Or were you welcomed with open arms? I mean, yeah, I think it has advantages. It's quite nice to have a bit of a clean slate. Cause I think over here, sometimes I'm so much in one bracket that it's hard to be seen as anything else because I've been sort of doing it for so long. So certainly in terms of like going and trying to reinvent yourself a bit and try

and do some more interesting things and play some different types of characters. It's quite useful. I mean, it's also strange, not only maybe not being recognized as much in America compared to England, but also now when I go to America, the vast majority of people that would recognize me there is from this show with dad. So a lot of them would be coming up to me and saying, oh, I love your show on Netflix, your dad is hilarious. And I'm like, that's not a compliment that I want. And the worst one, this was 100% the worst one, was when we went to America and we were together and we were in a hotel, walking through the hotel lobby

and these two American guys walked past. And they recognized Michael, and then they carried on walking past and they didn't recognize me. And so I then not only didn't get recognized, the final sort of just like kick in the bollocks was overhearing their conversation. And they were going, oh yeah, that's the guy from Travels with My Father. And the other guy was like, oh, what's that? And he goes, oh, it's this great show on Netflix.

It's about an esteemed elderly English gentleman that travels the world with his doofus son. And I was like, that's not the show. That's not the pitch. I was like, that's what I've been reduced to now. I'm just the doofus son, the hanger on. I hope you took it out on your father in subtle covertly. Oh, no, he was definitely not told about that coin because I didn't want to feed the ego. I hope you took it out on your father in subtle covertly. Oh no, he was definitely not told about that coming because I didn't want to feed the ego.

Yeah, that's pretty crushing. You were great in Jungle Book. I know it's a terrible title because it was actually kind of brilliant. I loved it. You worked with my friend Emily. Yeah, yeah, Emily Blunt. Yeah, she's incredible. She's from like exactly the same part of London as me. So like our schools were like, you know, a road apart. And we grew up going to all of the same shops and pubs and bars and stuff.

And so the minute I met her, like we instantly bonded and she was so nice and so fun and like made that a really, really wonderful experience. And like Dwayne, I don't think knew what hit him when he first walked onto the set and was sort of working with Emily because she's just got this like wicked sense of humor as you know, she just has no filter whatsoever. And she's so funny. It was like one of the first days on set. It was awful.

Because I'd been a big fan of Dwayne Johnson growing up because I'm massively into wrestling. And I used to love watching wrestling as a kid and right of the era when he was in his pomp. And I said, just don't turn yourself into a fan and make sure you act with some like professionalism when you meet him. Because you know you want to be seen as his equal rather than like a fan and make sure you act with some like professionalism when you meet him because you know you want to be seen as his equal rather than like fan girling on him. So I managed to get through like my first conversation with him and not say anything stupid and I was like I think I've you know acquitted myself correctly there. And then a couple of hours later I was there with Emily and she's obviously like fooling

around she's like I didn't get what he was a wrestler was he and I was like yeah he was amazing one of the greatest wrestlers of all time he had this move called the rock bottom She's obviously like fooling around. She's like, I didn't even get, well, he was a wrestler, was he? And I was like, yeah, he was amazing. One of the greatest wrestlers of all time. He had this move called the rock bottom. She's like, the rock bottom? That sounds sordid. I was like, no, no, no, it's not sordid at all. It's just a finishing move.

She's like, well, what was it? And then I ended up trying to explain the rock bottom to her. And then I can't explain it physically. So I was like, well, let me sort of show you. So if you put your arm over my shoulder, he would like grab the other wrestler. It would normally be like Stone Cold Steve Austin. and then he'd hoist them up like this. And I'm then performing the rock bottom on Emily Blunt.

At which point Dwayne goes, Jack, are you trying to do my move? And then he turned around and he was watching this whole thing play out. And I was like, oh God, this is absolutely awful. I'm like rock bottoming Mary Poppins in front of Dwayne and now the cat is out the bag. I bet he loved it. I'm like obsessed about him. I bet he loved it. I also showed him, because I did a lot of art when I was younger and I'd found an old sketchbook

and in the sketchbook I'd sketched Dwayne. I mean obviously when he was the rock and there were all of these sketches of him and I had them on my phone and I showed Emily, obviously she yanked the phone out of my hand and that was taken straight over to Dwayne. Did you know that Jack used to draw you when he was younger? And I was like, okay, well, my mission of not turning myself into a weird, creepy fangirl, I have failed. You're now the stalker.

I'm now the stalker. I'm now being asked to leave set because I've been drawing my co-star. I'm sure that is an HR issue. Where did you guys shoot that? We shot it in Hawaii and Atlanta. And yeah, it was... I'd never... I'd gone from doing like, you know, BBC sitcoms and stuff. On a shoestring budget, which are all shot on like an iPhone.

To suddenly be on like one of those big Disney behemoth movie sets. And it was all very overwhelming, but kind of lovely, just because Emily and him were very nice, and were very accommodating. Did you meet John and family? I think he flew there to be with her. Yeah, he's amazing as well. So it's like, they're such a wonderful partnership.

So yeah, that was really, really fun to have an experience like that. Very difficult to then go and do a film like that and then sort of go back to doing… And you got away from… Yeah. You didn't make a set visit to that one in Hawaii. No, I think I just got busy and got lots of stuff on. A lot of monks to see. A lot of monks to catch up with. Cardinals.

Cardinals, yeah. He doesn't deal with monks now. Catching up with cardinals. That could be my next book. Yeah. Well, that's the series that you do now that you've got rid of the doofus son. That's your solo project. It's just you interviewing a load of cardinals and kissing their rings.

You know, when I was an agent, I used to think I got the best job in the world. I worked for the agency that became ICM. It was then called London International. I worked for a guy called Robin Fox. What year was this roughly? 1940. 1930. David Garrick, he was your first client, wasn't he? 19...

How'd the speakeas come in? 1969. It just ignores me. 1969. Thank you, sorry. And Robin Fox, who was James and Edward, his father, I worked for him and he was amazing, as my granddaughter would say, amazing. And I had, first of all, some of his clients helped him with some of his clients.

And then he retired and I took on some of his clients and some of them I didn't take on because I didn't fancy them. I don't mean fancy them in that respect. But whenever I went to see a client, either either a new client of mine or an established person, in the theatre, I would go to the theatre, I would see the play, I would see them afterwards, either for a drink or maybe sometimes dinner. And on my way home, I would think, thank God I'm not an actor. I mean those poor buggers, they're gonna have to do it again tomorrow night and then the night after and the night

after that, week after week, month after month in some cases. And that's hitting close to home. Yeah. In the trenches. And all I've got to do is just go home, come into the office the following morning and check that the commission's coming in nice and smoothly. That's the job for me.

I'm never ever going to go anywhere near performing. And I even invented a phrase that I used to say to my clients when I went to see them in the play, backstage there was all that lovely, you were darling, you were wonderful, best player I've ever seen, best actor, all that sort of bullshit that Asians do. But it was the one where the play came off. So the notice went up at the end of the first week.

I mean, that, that kind of thing where the reviews were terrible. And the actor would then be ringing me up and say, Oh my God, what am I going to do? And, Oh, it's all such a nightmare. What can you give me? And try and cheer me up a bit. I said, I don't need to cheer you up because the news from my point of view is all good. And the actor would say, why is that Michael?

I said, because up to this moment, you weren't available to me. You were doing this play. I've heard the same shit from my agent. It's gonna go on and on and on, month after month. I just cross you out of my thoughts and my book. Now your play is coming on. Good one.

I can start working for you and getting the big jobs. The play was always shit. It should never have been even put on. Now I'm taking over, and I will get you some fantastic TV, movies, all that. They said, oh Michael, I feel so much better having spoken to you and I said, that's why I'm here. And my first and only Broadway play,

it came out of Chicago and it was really well produced and directed, but very kind of lightweight material. So opening night in New York, the rim shots were so good with the jokes that everyone would burst out with huge laughter and then you could hear them go, wait, what? You know, each laugh was that way. We went to Sardis where you go in New York to celebrate and they were famous people around and it was so rock and roll and so exciting. I was upstairs in the bar upstairs and Rex Reed came and then the reviews, the New York Times came out and people had rushed out to

get it. And Clive Barnes back then was the person who could kill, make or break a show. And Rex Reed hated Clive Barnes' review of us, and he ridiculed and mocked Clive Barnes' words while we listened to Clive Barnes just raking us over the coals. But we had to laugh at Rex Reed as we're hearing our demise. And I turned around to get my drink and the cage came down over the bar. Pump.

And the party was over. Next day I went to say goodbye to my parents who had come in from Arizona and I put them in a cab and then went to do the matinee and I walked in the stage door. In the stage door, a guy said, well, hey, whoa, whoa, whoa, where are you going? And I said, I work here, thank you.

And he went, not anymore, you don't need pointing. Closing notice, there's a one night stand on Broadway. So I became a TV actor, fuck him. That's harsh. That is harsh. Not anymore, you don't tell. You know, I was, so we had our opening the night before last, Wednesday night, the play Ulster America.

And anyway, I was talking afterwards to Stanley Tucci and he goes, you know how you can tell that this plays a hit? And I go, hmm, how? And he goes, because people are still here at the party. That's true. And it was just like, literally, if people didn't like the play, well, you don't know how, at that point, how the critics are reacting. But, but the fact that people stayed and it was a bubbling party, it went on for a few hours, you know, it was like, I was like, that is so insightful, you know, to think

of it that way. Like. When was the last time you did a play, Woody? Before this. Eighteen years ago. Woof. Yeah. You got balls, man. You have balls.

Yeah. It's a ballsy endeavor. Especially like last night, you know, they always say second night blues, but like last night, like literally within the first five minutes, I think I told you that I went up three times. And what do they call it here? They call it? Drying?

Drying. Drying, yeah. I dried three times in five minutes. Yeah. Well once the first one happens you're like whoa you know you're on your heels. I dreamt. And then the second one happens you're like oh my freaking Jesus I'm on my heels. I'm back I mean I'm against the wall now. And then the third time happens I look at Andy Serkis' face and he's looking at me like, are you just gonna implode here on the stage tonight? You know, I mean, I don't know what happened. It just literally, cause we always, he and I hit ping pong before.

We just, you know, and we're just going back and forth, gadic, gadoc, gadic, gadoc, as George used to say. And we're playing and I'm drying there. There's no pressure yet. We're not even on stage. And I can't think of the... It was something, and I don't know, it wasn't like I smoked pot the night before. I didn't do the normal things that inhibit the memory.

The first one you can probably pass off as a dramatic pause, right? But by the third time, he's like, please, please, this is not a choice. How many, have we got 90 more minutes of this? Anyway, but I was thinking when you said that about how, you know, like I'm going on tonight and two tomorrow, you know, like it's like you, it's one of those things where, you know, like I'm going on tonight and to tomorrow, you know, like, it's like you, it's, it's one of those things where you think to yourself, well, I mean, there's gotta be some genuine respite and like they do it weird here because it's eight shows like America, but you know, here you get one day off. You just get the Sunday and you're back at it Monday.

And it's like, you know, you know how in America, we have the thing where you get the Sunday matinee and then Tuesday, or yeah, you're back Tuesday evening and it's like, that's, that's a much more understandable schedule because this thing of like having, you know, just the one day. You can't go out that night and blow it out. You get Saturday night, you can blow it out a little bit, but you don't want to overblow because you know. Did your body fill with adrenaline when you went up? Oh, fuck yeah, man. You flushed like you're...

You just feel the heat rising, sweat like trickling down. Like, I don't know how to... Can I just say, I wish I'd been there. I know, you would love it. He celebrates my demise. Yeah. Whenever Woody... You're trying to guess the line, shouting it out. Just anything, throw them off. Do you have to deal with hecklers?

Yeah, I had a few, few hecklers. I mean, I've had like crazy stuff happen on stage. I had someone bring and inflate a sex doll and chuck it onto the stage. So that meant they'd smuggled it in and inflated it without me realizing. And then I was in the middle of a routine and got hit on the side of the head by one of those big inflatable sex dolls with the mouth. And that got chucked up onto the stage. I was like, what do you want me to do with this?

It's a hard heckle to put down. Did you ever have any sense of what the fuck that was about? No, it's just someone that wanted to kind of, you know, throw me. Get their own laugh. Yeah. But you often, yeah, I mean, you get people that obviously brought their own jokes along as well. I had it, I was doing a routine.

This was on the most recent tour, where I started talking about my poodle. And it's a lot of very lighthearted jokes about having a quite emasculating dog but all you know it's very very lighthearted and I start this routine about my dog and I was in Halifax in the north of England and a guy shouted out my dogs just died and I was like why would you profit that information? And then it was horrendous because I had then I knew I had like 15 minutes of dog material and every single joke that I said was like, well, that would have been a lot of funnier when we're not all thinking about the fact that your dog has just died. Why would you say that out loud?

He completely like destroyed the gig for me because he felt that that was an outside, that was a sort of, yeah, an external thought that he should share with the rest of the room. But that was one of the worst. Do you have to like have set things to shut the heckler up or not? Yeah, I mean, I try to rattle through it and try if it's like quite a boisterous audience just to like, you know, have enough sort of force of energy on stage that I don't allow much space for heckling. But when something like that happens, you have no choice.

You literally cannot, you cannot continue with the, you have to address it and then that has to become a part of the show. But I bet you got jokes just based on the fact that, well, that would have been funny if your dog weren't dead. Yeah. And then the next night when you're doing the routine and you're just back to doing it the old way, you're like, maybe I should build that into the show. It's actually quite enjoyable by the end, in a kind of sadomasochistic way. One of the things you said to me, which I thought was absolutely amazing, is I said to you, because I've seen your show, the the current one a few times. I said to you, you finish the show for the interval at the end, exactly the same moment.

I mean, the same, if it's 29 minutes, it's 29 minutes. There's no fucking around. It's exactly the same. And my question to you was how do you manage to do that when you've got heckles, for example, or even just something minor, somebody says something to you or whatever. How do you still manage to come out of that time? And you said, well, I do what you do, daddy. Daddy, do you still call your father daddy? What was that?

Steve Seagal. Steve Seagal, great life. Right, right, I saw that. I called you dad just now. Yeah. Do you call your father daddy? And you said to me, I said, what about the hecklers of work? And you said, well, I just do what you do, daddy. You read a lot and I just bookmark

it. I said, what do you mean bookmark it? You said, well, you put a bookmark in your book and then you know where you've got to. And I said, but it's not a book. And you said, no, I put a bookmark in my head. I said, what do you mean in your head? What do you mean stick it in your head? He said, no, no, I just have a mental bookmark. And then I do the heckle book and then I come back and I pick it up where I left it off in my head and that's, that's it. And I said, that sounds so easy to do that. I thought, unbelievable that

you can do that. Unbelievable. Seriously. That's what's so great. That's what I was always be worried about with a play is that there's no leeway to go off and improvise or if you do end up missing a bit or skipping a bit and it's such a kind of intricate dance and involving other people as well. I think that I would find that kind of terrifying having only ever experienced stand up where it's, you know, you're in complete control and it can change or you can drop something or it can, you know, deviate from whatever script that you have in your head. But yeah, I'm lucky that I've never really had any like, two soul-crushing and heckling experience.

The best one I've ever heard was a friend of mine called Joe, who was doing a gig in a pub, sort of upstairs room, and not particularly well attended, there was like 15 people or whatever, so you could hear everything in the room. And he said he was doing his shtick and it was not landing particularly well. There's not a lot of laughs. So he does this joke and it plays to absolutely nothing.

And then he hears a sigh at the back of the room, which is never a good sign when you can hear one of your audience members just sigh. And he goes, oh, there used to be a pool table in here. Also hard to come back from. That is, that is crushing. That is just, yeah. In New York, when he was starting out, have you heard this? That he would, he would step out on the stage and within 20, 30 seconds if he didn't like the crowd,

he'd say, oh, fuck off and leave. Literally his set would just decide that these people weren't worth it or they weren't laughing hard enough and he would just dismiss them and walk out. That's Larry David in a nutshell. Incredible. I might do that. Yeah, he would do that. That's Larry David. Yeah. Yeah. In a nutshell. Incredible. Yeah. I might do that. Yeah. You would do that. Yeah. I ever did something. I would definitely do that. Michael, did you ever have an actor knew and you brought them up and then they got their first big job, huge job became famous and they left you?

Yeah. Yeah. Yep. Yeah. Still a bit of a revet. I did that. That is one of my big regrets in life. I had this wonderful agent that for years, well, for about 10 years, and then Cheers hit, and I moved on, and I felt like such a kind of shabby,

typical Hollywood actor. And you should. I am the of shabby, typical Hollywood actor. And you should. I am a typical shabby Hollywood actor, I confess. Walking away from it. Did you try to talk him out of it or did you just say, buzz off? What happened is, actually I rang an agent in LA who I was very fond of and told him what had happened about this actor. And he says, ah, they come, they go.

Who called? That's all you need to go. When you come into your office, just say, they come, they go. Who called? Yeah. Because the next phone call could be, like my American accent incident. It's better than your Irish one earlier. Yes.

So this guy, I got him a job in a film, but Daniel Day-Lewis was going to be playing the part and then he decided that he didn't want to do the part. He wanted to do something else. Why am I keeping all this anonymous? Yeah, tell us. You literally banged on a volume. Yeah. You know that slap down.

The guy is called Richard E. Grant. Ah. The film. With Nail and I. With Nail and I. Oh my god. One of my favorite films. Daniel Day-Lewis was going to do with Nail and I.

And then he was offered a film in England, in America. He was then offered a film in America. And he said, I'd really rather do the film in America if that's all right. And I said, no, it's fine. I mean, I've only said yes very recently. So I'll get on to Bruce Robinson and just saying that you've had a, well, Bruce Robinson didn't take it well. No.

I mean, talk about the C-word. I mean, I've never heard it used more often towards me, Daniel Day-Lewis, and everybody else. He was absolutely furious. Anyway, Dissolve, and a couple of weeks later, he was auditioning people, and I met this guy called Richard E. Grant who had not done anything and I just thought he's quite interesting looking so I rang Bruce and said how it's going with the recasting and Bruce says I'm never gonna talk to you again what you did to me what you did to me with Danny Day-Lewis I know you just

talked him out of it you wanted to make more money, more commission in America, you're just a fucking asshole." And I said, look, I'm just ringing to try and be helpful to you, Bruce. I've got this actor and he said, so what's his name? And I said, Richard E. Grant. He said, Richard E. Grant, you made that fucking name up, haven't you, just to get me annoyed. Richard E. Kant, it should probably be his name. You bastard, and I know what this is all about. It's Colin Firth free.

I said, Colin Firth is completely wrong for the part in Withnolai, and you know it, and he's not available. Oh, typical of you. Now what about Daniel Day-Lewis? I said no don't go down. What about Daniel Day-Lewis again? He's doing another one. He's actually working on it now. Now will you see Richard E. Graham? He said all right I will and slammed the phone down then Richard went and met them, did four or five auditions and recalls and everything. And then finally, he was off of the part.

And then, of course, Bruce was all, oh, Michael, thank you so much. And I think this boy is wonderful and blah, blah, blah, blah. And I thought, here I am, I'm going to get a huge amount of satisfaction, thanks, everything from Richard for having got him the part. No. He moved. Almost straight away.

Yeah. Wow. But it's fine. He's over it. But it's fine. I've got it. But by the way, I'm so psyched to hear that you were the one who had the idea of Richard E. Green, because I can't imagine anyone else doing that part.

He's amazing in that part. You think about Daniel Day-Lewis, who is an incredible actor, but you can't even picture him doing that. I can't picture him with Naila. Richard Griffiths was saying that. Richard was marvelous. I was thinking, I was going to bring it up earlier because that's one of my favorite comedies of all time.

Even, you know, sorry about you and Bruce not being in it. No, it was. It was a fantastic film. It wasn't hugely successful at the time, but it became a classic. It's the perfect acid test as well whenever I show it to someone. I'm like, if you like With Nella Knight, then we can be friends. It's like the movie I go to. Yeah, conversely, if you don't like it, I don't think we can be friends.

Exactly. I want to ask you, because you are a podcaster, so... I didn't know what a podcast was. I know a lot of people will say that's made up, but I promise you it wasn't. A year ago, we were asked to do a podcast, my charming wife, Hillary, and I, and I said, what the fuck is a podcast? And they told me, and I thought, I don't want to do that. I mean, what in the people listening, are they? And they said, yeah, of course they're listening.

I said, what do they listen on then, on the radio? No, on their phone. On their phones? And I said, I promise you. And anyway, over. So then this company called, it's a little company in Leicester Square. Global. Global, yes. Used to be next door to the, well it still is, next door to the Odeon Leicester Square,

which was the place to go for the big movies. I mean, I've seen a lot of, both of your movies premier at Odeon Leicester Square. That was sweet of you to include me. Go ahead, go ahead. And so we said, yes, we do it. And it's basically just Hillary and me withering with each other. I can't remember half of my stories. I don't even know most of the time where I am or what I'm doing.

So she drives the thing along and has got all these followers now. And we even did one in very near your charming club in Los Angeles. Oh, it was in the woods. We recorded one a couple of weeks ago. So yeah, it's doing very well. So you do them live? No, it's just us. It's just literally Hillary and I chatting. So you were in a studio near the suspense room. Yeah, that's right.

But there's a lot of very indiscreet stories, and I will sometimes be made aware of the stories that you've been telling in your podcast, because it will end up in newspapers and you will get Google alerts that you would never be on the screen. That you have been airing our dirty laundry in public and talking about how- In my conception. In my conception, like the explosive nappies that I used to have as a child. Which we probably used to put tape on. Yeah, okay.

No, we've heard that story so many times. You were talking about how I got busted watching pornography on the Sky television device, and I'd left it on, and then I tried to blame my brother, and you were talking about all of this on the podcast. And then I discovered, because then there's like a new story about me, my parents talking about the time that I watched porn at home, and I'm like, nothing is sacred now. I like the way you phrased it, the time.

The time, yeah. The time you got caught. The time. The time, yeah. The time you got caught. The time, exactly. I was normally so careful. Such a stealthy masturbator. One time. There are other topics. There are other topics.

There are other topics. I think you're slightly over cooking. You're very sweet. Are you enjoying doing a podcast? Yeah, it's great. Yeah, me too. Because Hillary does all the work. She's got all the...

I can tell that's how this dynamic works. Ted's there like, studios, prepping for every single show, doing the research. And then he just sweeps in. Sweeps in. Who's this? We're talking to you today. Some guy with his doofus son. Yeah, I'll be able to wing it.

No, we love him doing it. And someone else around this table did a podcast for a bit, but it seemed to run out of steam rather quickly. Because... Well, how could you fit anything more in? It seems like you have your hands in every pot. Yeah. I did a bit of podcasting.

I enjoy podcasting. It's great. You forget that you're being recorded. As I think we've proven in the last hour. And as long as you don't listen back to me, you're fine. Absolutely fine. You guys are so sweet to come in. Who asked you? Did you ask? I asked.

Yeah, word of mention. Yeah, yeah. Well, thank you. Yeah, thank you so much. Thank you. It's been so nice to chat with you guys. Yeah, really huge. So cool. Thank you very much. Look at you. You're a delight. You really are. Well, Michael, thank you so much.

Don't leave him hanging. Lovely to meet you. And when we head to LA next, heading to the woods. You know, you gotta... But call me. Are you up for that? Visiting Woody's dispensary? Gummies? You don't have gummies or a CBD or any of that?

Nothing for your aches and pains? No. You serve tea at the woods? I don't. Yeah, yeah, just a little tea. Little tea? Tea at the woods. It's like a tea room.

Oh, really? Yeah. Oh, yeah, from the place I went to, it was very nice there. See? Yeah, it was sweet. I met Paul McCartney there. Yeah. Amazing.

Bye, you guys. Thank you so much. Bye. That was Jack and Michael Whitehall talking with me and Woody in London last year. Check out all five seasons of Travels with My Father on Netflix. You will love them. I guarantee it. Special thanks to Vox Pod Studios in London for hosting our podcast and to our friends

at Team Coco. If you haven't already, please subscribe on your favorite podcast app and give us a great rating and review on Apple podcasts. If you have a mind to, means a lot. We'll have more for you next week, where everybody knows your name. Happy holidays. You've been listening to Where Everybody Knows Your Name with Ted Danson and Woody Harrelson, sometimes. The show is produced by me, Nick Leal. Executive producers are Adam Sacks, Colin Anderson, Jeff Ross, and myself. Sara Federovich is our supervising producer.

Our senior producer is Matt Apodaca. Engineering and mixing by Joanna Samuel with support from Eduardo Perez. Research by Alissa Grawl. Talent booking by Paula Davis and Gina Bautista. Our theme music is by Woody Harrelson, Antony Genn, Mary Steenburgen, and John Osborne. Special thanks to Willie Nathere.

We'll have more for you next time, where everybody knows your name.