Where Everybody Knows Your Name with Ted Danson and Woody Harrelson (sometimes) - Judy Greer

Episode Date: February 11, 2026

Ted Danson is in awe of actors who are gifted at improv, just one of the reasons he’s a huge fan of the great Judy Greer! Judy talks to him the pros and cons of her Midwestern image, her roles in ��What Women Want” and “Stick,” waitressing in Chicago, being a stepparent, and her partnership with a relief organization in Ukraine. Like watching your podcasts?  Visit http://youtube.com/teamcoco to see full episodes.  Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Whatever I was going to take away from that you said earlier that was awesome, it's now a celebrity tip. Yeah. Welcome back to where everybody knows your name. From hit sitcoms like Arrested Development and It's Always Sunny to blockbuster films like Ant Man and War for the Planet of the Apes, Judy Greer has had an unbelievably prolific career as a talented character actor. So prolific that she wrote a book about it.

It's called I don't know what you know me from. My life is a co-star. Right now, you can see her on Apple TV Plus in Stick. So, ladies and gentlemen, here's Judy Greer. Can I do my first memory of you? Yes. My first memory was, I can't even remember how many but 20 at least years ago. I and some other people were thinking about doing a show called Dancing Across America,

where it was going to be real interviews or real connections with real people, gang members, you know, I would walk in their shoes for a mile or whatever to discover what they're like. And then without making fun of them, we would have very funny writers write backwards, meaning shoot the documentary part and then make the mockumentary part around what we got. I would go across the border with, you know, migrants from Mexico, but later we would shoot me arriving in a private jet, you know, all of that kind of stuff. Anyway, we were sitting around the table improvising. We actually had a filmmaker, a documentary filmmaker, shooting it.

And we were outside, and you just walked in from my vantage point. You just walked in and started improvising immediately. But improvising sounds like you were doing something different. It was just all of a sudden you were there totally participating. And at the end of the evening, I was going, wait, who is that person? Tell me your point of view from it. Terror nerves, like what, like asking, like being asked to, okay, so my point of view is I got asked to do like the presentation, right, the pilot presentation. of this idea

that you were putting together and it was going to just be, it wasn't like a job, but it could maybe become a job. And you want to do this? And it's all sort of improv, like loosely outlined. So you'll be told the outline of the day

and then kind of like the role you're going to be playing and then you'll just improvise it all. And I was terrified because it's you. and you are an icon. I grew up with you and also hoping if I was good enough and improvy enough and interesting enough that like when this became a TV show or whatever it was going to be that like I would get to be a part of it. Like for me it felt like an audition. And then also it was going to be at your house, which like I had never been to a celebrity's house.

Before? I was like... They are different. They have gates. And there's boxes and buttons. Now we all have that. But at the time, it was really only you. And were you late or something?

Why had we started without you? I don't know. Well, I think that part I don't remember. It could have been that I was meant to arrive. Because was I pretending to be your assistant or something? Sorry. Yeah, no. I think maybe I was held back.

I'm not a late person, so I would imagine that was by design. But I literally did not know you were there and all of a sudden you were there. Yeah. I remember seeing your kitchen, not the current kitchen, but a kitchen of your 20 years ago kitchen. And yeah, just being like, oh my gosh, I can't believe like I'm in their house. I think the only other celebrity house that I was in was I auditioned for a movie that Penny Marshall was directing. and they had the auditions at her house. Right. And they had put us all in different rooms.

And the room that they put me in in Penny Marshall's house, which also had a gate and a button, was covered and I'm not exaggerating. Like floor to ceiling on every single surface with beanie babies. There wasn't even actually anywhere for me to sit, except on the floor, the carpeted floor of this guest room that was so covered in beanie babies. Like I couldn't sit on the bed.

There was a bench that was covered in beanie babies. babies, the beanie babies were all over the bed. The beanie babies were hanging from the walls in like shoe pockets. They were coming out of drawers that were open to display the beanie. It was like almost scary. Right. Like a little bit like, is this a hidden camera show? Right. Before that was a thing. And then I went to your house and was like, what's, what am I going to, what's going to be here? But it was. My memory just was how amazingly nimble you were and how I had no idea. You just came out for me out of left field. And then later, we got to work to kind it together on the amateurs. It started off the moguls with Jeff Bridges.

Yes. What? Why thought that was one of the best scripts I've ever read? Me too. Me too. I don't know why it didn't. I know they had trouble in the first 10 or 15 minutes supposedly setting it up, but it was one of the funniest. Honestly, like, and in the cast and even the sort of vibe on set making it was so incredible. And I just thought, yeah, like I thought it was just the most incredible story. And it was so fresh and new and interesting. And then you have like all of you, it was like you, Jeff Bridges. I remember Lauren Graham was in it. Patrick.

Joey Pants. I mean, Joey Pants. And we were shooting in Pryor. Do you remember going to that like crazy. like crazy faraway land. And I remember calling my agent and thinking, like, don't they have to pay me to go this far away? Yeah. Yeah, it was. Because I thought it was like location because it was so far. And they're like, nope, it's just on the edge, just on the inside of that line. And I was like, oh. The story was the town, very small town. And Jeff was kind of the leader of the town in this

kind of, you know, a bunch of losers kind of way. I was going to say the word loser. I'm glad you did. He feels like the only way for this town to be noticed and find its way is if they make the entire town, everyone in it makes an amateur porn film. Well, it's about money. Yeah. Because he, yes, the town is like down and out. And his ex-wife, Lauren, Lauren Graham, is about to marry a guy with money and his son and he needs to like make some money and he gets this whole town. involved and it like revives the whole town like the whole town makes this porno and they went one of the first people I went to was you yeah because you worked in a mattress store so clearly that's the best

scene like well everyone knows girls in mattress stores are slutty and I think it was Jeff's character I was like you can't just assume that like that why would any nobody knows that and then you come in and ask me and the metro store owner I think you ask me And then I'm like, well, yeah, obviously, of course I will do porn. And you should have, like, the owner of the store do it with me. And she walks out and she's like super hot. She might actually have been an exotic dancer. Yeah.

Anyway. And then we have that fun scene where we jump up and down on all the mattresses. It was the dirtiest, cleanest movie and sweetest, innocent movie. It was so good. But, yeah. And then I get to watch you over and over and over again, just being so good. You are one of my favorite actors. When you appear on screen or I know you're in it, I relax because I know I'm in such good hands

and you're going to take me someplace and be funny or real or sweet or touching. You're really a good actor. Thank you. Yeah. Thank you. I'm also really bad at taking compliments. Yeah, because they go straight to that ego part of your brain, which is a horrible place. I can't believe it.

You are a good actor. Thank you. Okay. I'm a good actor. You're a good actor. You really are. How did that start? Acting. High school, junior high. Ish. High school-ish. It started in high school because I was actually a ballet dancer. And there was a special arts program in my high school. And they had dance. But my ballet instructor didn't want me to do it because she didn't want me like getting weird, uh, weird, advice and teaching, getting taught by,

I mean, it wasn't like the instructor of the dance program was great, but she just was like, no, don't mess with what we're doing here. And so I didn't, but I also wanted to audition for something in the arts program because I didn't really want to do academics that intensely.

So I auditioned for the acting program and I got in. So I did that in high school, like for the last two years or something. while doing regular study. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It wasn't like, Julie. Like it was like, or LaGuardia, I guess it is. No, it was a very, very lovely but basic public high school in a suburb of Detroit called Livonia, Michigan.

And so I did that. I did the acting bit there. I really liked it. I liked being on stage because I'd been sort of used to being on stage when I was dancing. So it didn't feel too weird to me. But then when it came time to go to college. college. I didn't really know what I was going to do. And there was an acting program at DePaul University, which I ended up getting into. But it was hard to get into. And this girl from high school

was telling me about it. And it was in Chicago. And my parents didn't want me to go farther away than Chicago. But I was like, how far away can I go? Please. Can I go to New York? They were like, no. Can I go to California? No. I'm like Chicago. They were like, yes. So I was like, okay. So I auditioned. I got into that. That was all. acting all the time, which at the time that I auditioned, I had no idea about. I didn't know what a conservatory was. And I remember I got in and I get to school. And I've been watching all these, like, you know, movies where you like sign up for your classes in college and there's crowds everywhere. I'm like specifically thinking of Rodney Dangerfield's back to school for some reason.

And I'm like, they had me my classes when I get there. And I'm like, where's the part where I sign up for like, first of all, where's my academics? Second of all, like, where do I sign up for my classes. They're like, no, it's a conservatory. Like, this is what you take. And I was like, well, I can't stay here. I'm not going to learn anything. But it was fun. And I didn't leave. And then I just kept staying. And then I just kept staying. And then I got better at it. And I liked it. It was a, at the time. Three years. Three years. It was four years. My parents didn't really care because I was going to get a degree. And they were like, you're getting a bachelor's degree. It's fine. I'm like, but you don't understand. Like, I'm in a class with the basketball players.

Like, why were you blowing the whistle on yourself? I know. I mean. I know. I was thrilled to be in a conservatory and not have to do that. Which, by the way, in high school, I would have loved it. In college, I was like, no, now's the time where, like, where I need to learn. And so I was kind of like, well, this is where I'm going to get smarter.

And if I'm only taking acting classes, I'm not going to get smarter. But again, yeah, like, I just kept staying. I'd be like next year I'm going to leave. But I got competitive. So the program I was in, where did you go? I went to stand for two years and did nothing. Oh, well, that makes me feel better. Fell in love with acting and transferred to Carnegie,

which is a conservative bachelor finance. That one I found out after the fact. I was like, oh, you go to like Carnegie Mellon, you go to Northwestern, obviously NYU or like, I guess DePaul. I didn't know. anyway, ours, we got cut after the first and second year. Did you? Yeah.

Yeah. It was the old look to the left of you, look to the right of you, nonsense. Right. Right. I know. So if you can make it to your third year, you're fine in our program. At the time, they don't do it anymore. So on both years, my first and second year, I was warned that I was going to get cut.

And then I just got, yeah. Which gave you a little fuck you. A little, like, competitive nature, a little, fuck you, a little, like, yeah, I was kind of like, dare you. But also thinking, like, great, maybe that's the push I need. Like, maybe I'm not meant to be here. Maybe I'm not. But the reasoning was often the first year I was told it was because of my Midwestern accent, which are. Do you still have that, by the way?

Our mutual friend, Ajay Segal will tease me about for the rest of my life. I'm not hearing it, am I right now? I'm not good at it. I think not, but, I mean, it was bad. It was like, oh, my God. And everything I said ended with a question mark, and they called it, like, you speak with an upglide. And we never really know, like, if you're asking a question or what you're saying, because it's really hard to decipher.

And that was how I talked. And also, like, I'm talking like that, and it's, like, very nasally. And I mean, I get it now. But it's also funny to make use of it with some characters. That's the thing. That's the thing. Do you know what I found when I got to L.A.? I'm skipping forward a bit.

But when I got to L.A., what I found was interesting to casting directors here, and I did loads and loads of generals, and I would meet with all the assistants, and then I would meet with the casting directors, was that there was something so Midwestern about me. I mean, there is. It was like interesting because I was in New York. I was in L.A. I was Chicago.

And it was like this more, I don't know, it was just something that felt at the time, lightning in a bottle moment where I came here and I had like this thing that was a little bit different. And it was very authentic, like to me. It wasn't like, that was not me. That was me. That was not either of our butts.

I'm just, yeah, not my butt. Anyway, I made it into the, I made it through the whole process in school. And once I got to the third year, then I was like, well, shit, I kind of like this. And now I'm kind of into it. And I always had a, I always had jobs on the side and I quit my jobs. And I was like, I'm like going all in with school right now. I'm going to focus on school and I'm going to be a good actor. Sorry, I'm bad.

DePaul is in. In Chicago? No, you're not bad. It is. So you can make use of all of the theater and everything in Chicago. At the same time or not? No, they frowned on that, although everyone did it. But I'm a real rule follower. So we were not allowed to work professionally. So I was like, when I found out some people were like doing like commercials on the side secretly, I was like, oh, Rothenheld. I am not turning them in. I could. I was. I could. I was like, how could they do that? How could they do that? Was this Sandy Meisner-like technique? Because he won't let you work either. I think it was. I mean, I don't even remember techniques. Yes, it must have been kind of-ish. We didn't, we had this teacher. She's passed away, but her name was Bella Itkin.

Oh, Uda Hagen. She loved Uda Hagen. And we had that book, The Uda-Hawgin. book. But I don't remember. I've since used an acting coach that I love, and I think Meisner is something that comes up. But Uda Hagen. Do you still use acting coaches when you get apart? Yeah, I do. Not every role, but sometimes I do. I am about to compare myself to an Olympic athlete. At first, I was embarrassed about it for some reason. I thought that it was like a secret. it. And then I was reminding myself that like Olympic athletes have like lots of coaches for one thing. You know, and that's how you get better is by working with people. And the thing about acting is that you don't always get to act every day. Like you don't always get your 10,000 hours in. So like preparing and showing someone something who is coming to it without anything, you know, having, I mean,

Should I have the luxury of being able to sit down with a director before we start a project and actually go through things? And then rehearse for two weeks. By the way, never happens. Like, you're still getting like all the noise that the director has about the project. Like going to someone, a coach, going to someone who doesn't know anything about the project. And they're just like looking at a scene floating in the ether and like seeing that scene for something. that like I can't see a different version, a different way, a different way in, a different choice. It's really incredible. And I think it helps a lot on set, especially these days,

like you said, there's no rehearsal. You've so rushed all the time, I feel like. A great director never makes you feel rushed, but that's hard to do to like come. Because they are rushed. They are so rushed. And especially, I mean, sometimes, man, you'll spend like all day shooting like one weird special effect and then you have like a really poignant like character arc scene with another person and they're like I think we got it let's move on and you're like wait that was really good lunch yeah yeah that was great that was great I think we got it I don't think we even need to come back after lunch huh but okay it's so bizarre I had an acting coach once uh only once

I went back to him a lot. This was in New York, and it was very strange because we were about to shoot damages. And the writers, who were absolutely amazing writers, came up to me the week before. And we had gathered for two weeks in New York before we started shooting and said, would you mind going – this was after reading and rehearsing, going to our acting coach. He's really wonderful. You know, Glenn Close goes to him. and they tried to make it not sound like what I was just hearing, which is,

who, woo, woo, you need some help. And I went and I was the best thing I've ever done. But at the moment, I would have died if someone... I died, but then I swallowed it and went, this is too good to be stupid. Yeah. I walked in and he said, do you have anything? A page from the script or something, anything, just read.

and I read and he stopped me after a page and went okay and I was playing a kind of a sociopath billionaire but he said okay now I know that you're a really that was very good really nice actor meaning when you start I know you're going to go all the way through and finish that paragraph for me and I know you are and it was good and all that but you're a really nice actor you need to take that kind of billionaire, fuck you, I'll do what I want, point of view, and treat the material with irreverence so that, yeah, here's my first line. And you know what? Fuck you. I may or may not say my next line, not literally, because, you know, you might get fired. But he instilled that irreverence. Because I found that, sorry, is this your podcast? I'm mine. I can't remember. I'm very job.

I'm sorry. Okay, my little thing is when you do half hour, it is like a musical. There is music. There is a rhythm. And you got to stick to it. You have to make a little bends and twists and turns to the rhythm. There's a metronome going. Yeah.

You can't stop and be indulgent in a good way. Comedy. Yes, yes, yes. You know, three-camera comedy in front of an audience. Because now half-hour. I know. Now it's a film. Which is great, and I love.

But yes, agreed. So I became a nice actor. Yeah. You know, I kept to the rhythm. Right. And he really helped break that. I love acting coaches. I wish I could go back to school, but it'd be weird and kind of false.

But I do love that. That is kind of how I found my way to her to this woman because I wanted to go back to class. And I was working so much I couldn't. Like, I just couldn't. I mean, God bless, thank God, all that. Like I would pay for a class. I would pay for the month of class and then I would never go. And I was kind of like, I knew people worked with coaches.

It heard it before, but I didn't know anything about it. I didn't know even where to start. And then like, yeah, I was like, I need to get back into class. I want to grow. Like, I want to get better. I want to be a better actor. And I couldn't go to the classes. And I was like, oh, I was kind of starting to just.

say it out loud to people at work. And I remember I was shooting Jurassic World and I think, I don't remember how it came up, but Bryce Dallas Howard, I don't know, maybe I shouldn't out her. But anyway, she was telling me, she's the best. But she was like, oh, you should, you know, call this woman. And then another person was like, oh, have you ever heard of this woman? And then a third person was saying like, oh, you should talk to this person. And it was all the same woman. And I was like to have three people tell me the same name. I was like, okay, this is God or universe, whatever, telling me to, like, call this woman. So I called her and we had this, like, great talk on the phone.

And she was like, what do you want? Like, why do you want to work with me? And I said, I just, like, want to be a better actor. Like, I act a lot. I work a lot. But my roles, like, like, I don't always get, like, a big, juicy hunk, you know? So I'm not, like, getting better always at work. Sometimes I'm, like, walking into a room and being like, who throughout my leftovers?

you look sad. What happened? Is your dad still out of town? Like I'm exposition sometimes. So I'm like, how can I get to that next level? How can I get better? Or how can I take what I'm getting, which is already great, and just like make a little bit like more something of it? You know? That's what that's what I think a great coach does. And they do see things like they see us differently too. I think also, if you're not just repeating yourself, because the last thing you did work and was successful or whatever, that you do have to start, I think this should be true about all creative processes, starting at zero. Each time? Not knowing each time. And that's scary to do.

And I think having a coach or somebody in your corner going, no, no, no, don't know. Yeah. It's good. I remember one of the first things I went, oh, dear Lord, Judy, was Mel Gibson. Sorry, what women want. That was such a wonderful performance. Thank you. Really good.

I loved her. I loved Erin the file clerk. Woman on the verge of a nervous breakdown kind of part, but sweet and funny. Yeah. It was really, really good. I really, I auditioned for every role in that movie, I think, besides the one that Helen Hunt played. I auditioned several times for the role that I got. I felt like really lucky to get that role to be a part of that project. And I felt because I was still sort of new and starting out like a real outsider on set. And I'm always. so pleasantly surprised when the reality mimics the art in a way where I don't have to do that much. Like, I didn't really know what I was doing. I was still learning how to be in movies. I was still

learning all the crap about light and bananas and all the stuff. I'll never forget a camera operator telling me like, hey, can you just like banana to your mark? And I was like, yes. And then I walked like straight to my market. And if you're listening, a banana is where, because, camera lenses are weird. A banana means like instead of walking from like point A to point B, you walk to point B like a banana, you kind of like curve it. And it's such a silly thing. But at the time, he's like, hey, can you just banana to your market? I'm like, uh, yeah. And not asking like, what the fuck is a banana? Like, what are you saying? Because I was like from the theater. I feel like a banana. Yes. I'm like, I, okay. Like, like, be little.

Anyway, so I walked to my mark straight. And he's like, yeah, so how about like just, for the next take, if you could just like do a little banana to your mark? And I'm like, okay, dude, I don't know what a banana is. I thought maybe I could fake it, but he's like, okay, right. So it's this. And he told me and he was so sweet. But that was... Usually you're blocking something perhaps in the background that they want to see or something. Right. Like the way the camera angle is, I don't even... I still don't know. But if they tell me to Biana, I know what to do now. But at the time, I didn't. And so all this is leading to me feeling like, I don't know what I'm doing, which is how this girl feels. Which is like,

the best thing I can do is just try to find some reality to the situation to bring. That's so smart. Yeah. And this poor girl who I fell in love with. And I've always kind of thought, because it was early in my career, I've always wondered, like, sometimes I play a role. And I'm like, oh, this is Erin now. Like, this is her now. Right.

She's a part of me, I think, forever for some reason. Right. It was such an important moment in my career, but also in my life, I had the first day of work, I did my big, big scene at the end with Mel. That was my first day. Wow. And I got all this street cred with the crew after that. But the whole rest of the movie, I don't have a line.

Because it was a long, big scene and it was good and emotional and all that. And it was like, I showed up. Nobody knew who I was. We shot it for, I think, two days. at a frat house, like on campus of USC or just off campus. I'll never forget because Nancy Meyer's video village was like set up in a bedroom. And like next to her chair was like a bunk bed filled with dirty clothes. It was like a fraternity's.

It was just like so bizarre to see her because she's like so classy and cool. And she's like sitting next to like fraternity bed. Anyway. So it was like great because my because while I was like, I can't believe I have to do these like first, this huge scene. It's like the first thing I'm going to do. But I realized after the fact, it was great. Because instead of just basically being like a background artist who was falling down the stairs for the entire movie, like I got to show up and act. And then for the rest of the movie, when I was background falling down the stairs, like people were nicer to me. Which wasn't always the

case. I've heard you do other podcasts. I was listening this morning. So I don't want to jump around too much. But your ability, you were talking about, you know, being able to be uncomfortable without medicating with a drink or something. Yeah, yeah. But it's that's enacting. It's a little bit that way, too. This is what's going on with me today. I am depressed and terrified. Use it. This is what you're getting. That's all you've got to use. Yeah. I've never really subscribed to, like, changing myself. Like, um. But how why? That's, that's, that's awful. smart and sometimes takes me a long time to get to. I think it's like, it feels like cheating sometimes.

But I think that like what's the most important thing I can do is be honest. And so if I'm honestly exhausted, I'm cranky or I'm honestly in like one of the best moods I've ever been in in a scene where I have to kill someone, like that's fun too. Like that's, I just would rather use that than try to like. squashed down what's really happening to find some like fake feeling. I don't know, but have you, I mean, like once music became digital, I think it just changed the game for me. Because I can listen to a song and be just like so immediately put in a mood. But what I've learned and when I ask directors sometimes, like, hey, can you send me a playlist of like what you're thinking of like

for tone and mood and songs for the movie or TV show? And they're like, yeah, totally. And I'll listen. I'll be like, oh, no, no, this isn't. Like, I'll just have songs for each scene that aren't really what I think they are thinking, but for me, help me get, you know, or like if I am in a good mood and I have to be in a bad mood, like, maybe there's a song that can just, like, instantly take me there. But there's always a good energy to being a happy person. And I've always been very, I'm curious about, like, do you have to be crazy to be a true artist? I've been asking myself this since.

Oh, I hate that question. Since theater school. Yeah. And I think, like, I always wonder. And I don't, I don't totally know the answer, but I'd like the answer to be no, because I'm not crazy and I'd like to be a good artist. But I think that, like, you know, trying to, you know, when you talk about method, right, like staying up for days because you are playing a junkie who can't sleep or like all. of those things. Like, I mean, I don't know. I don't know the answer, but I don't want it to be that you have to be crazy or you have to be on a substance in order to like dig into something that's real

or diggy or even funny or dark or anything like that. But I struggle with that topic a lot. I do too. I was told by, I think it's okay to mention Joel Schumachery's past and he was, I think a wonderful director and we were just having a conversation and he said, you can't be an artist with middle class, more age,

you know. Well, I'm so middle class. So middle class. I'm sold, if you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all. You know,

I was not trained to be a rebel. Me neither. I like rules. I like structure. I probably not cut out. Be kind. You know, all that stuff. It's nice to.

be nice. There's stickers of that all over the Minneapolis airport. And I was like, oh, I want that on a pillow, hidden, but I do want it. But I know. That's so interesting. He said that. But I think that there is like a people pleasing sort of martyry version of a me that is what he's talking about. and he might say it's middle class or I think Midwest or just mid-basic. Yeah. That I think, like his version of it is what I'm thinking of when I'm not like being authentic to myself, which is a term I think is overused, especially now. But like when I'm not really, when I'm trying to be like two people pleasy.

Yeah. Is when I know that I. Me too. My tendency is to tilt way too far forward in life. Even like a, even something as small as like, where is your chair on set? Like when you walk off the set and you have to sit down while they're changing a lens or a light or something, like, are you like, hey, how are you? Oh, hi. What'd you do last night? Or like, do you know, like, I'm like, I have a really diggy scene today. I need to be alone in the corner. Like, I need my chair to be away from everybody. I need to be by myself or I need to go back. to my trailer so I'm not like, hi, oh my God, I love your blouse. Did your kid win their soccer game

yesterday that you left early to go to? Yeah. Like that's not going to, I mean, in that sense, I think I agree with him. I was trained to be nice by my mom. I was very, but I didn't have a choice. You know, I had to be nice, kind, sensitive. I'm still learning. to discover that I'm a dick, that I can be mean as hell, that I can be petty and all those things. And when Mary calls me on one of those moments, that's the only time we fight is when I'm wrong about being a dick. Because I, you know, and I don't want to be that. Yeah. So I will fight to the death.

That's not who I am. Yeah. And as soon as I go, yeah, yeah, that was mean. Right. Yeah, I am mean. or that first off it's very relaxing but then you have a choice you if you have to be nice and kind because of your upbringing or your whatever and i think that's maybe what he was talking about because it's great to be nice and kind but i think you need to know both sides of that middle line in

life you need to know that you're fully human and you are as petty and mean and jealous somewhere or full of anger or stuff, so that if you know it, then you can choose it. Then it's a much more important kindness. Right. Choosing, yes, to choose to be kind rather than to have it be your.

Knee jerk. Yes. And what is behind wanting to be nice and kind? Because I think wanting to be nice and kind when I'm genuinely like, when I'm not, if I'm doing it because I just want to, because it's just coming naturally or is it from the point of view for me of wanting to be liked, then it's fake.

I have a problem with that because I do it, you know, because fake is a, you know, a go-to for me. Not really. That's harsh. But if you do something, if you, this is my favorite kind of example, you're the Bartys that gives you your cup of coffee and you're going to give him a celebrity tip but you wait until he's looking if he's turned around you don't just slip it in and you wait okay but he got a good tip you were doing it clearly for yourself yes so at best or worse is fully what I'm taking away from today what's that whatever I was going to take away from that you said earlier that was awesome it's now celebrity tip yeah like I'll be giving a celebrity I know. I have to give a celebrity tip, so I'll just do the tip.

But if you ask the fellow, he doesn't care. He doesn't give a shit. If you're tipping him five bucks on a $2 coffee, he's like, great. Yeah. Great. If I see it or not. So you can do things for other people and have it be kind of iffy your motivation. Yes. Yes. But it's still better than not doing something good. For sure. Smiling as someone is always preferable. And it makes you feel better.

So are you doing it for yourself? I would say yes. Yes. I like being happy. My body feels better if I'm happy. Those two things can be true. Like you can be doing it to make someone happy, to make someone like you, see you, like, accept you, take you in. And you can also just be doing it because it's the right thing to do.

Thank you, Judy. I've been wrestling with this. No, you have not. The celebrity dip is so good. I have a friend who, for years, I don't allow it anymore. He would wait till I, we would split the bill and he would wait until I filled out mine and then he would leave fucking more than me. And I'd be like, God damn it! And he would do it every time. And even just last week we went to dinner and we both had our pens and I went after you. And he was like, like he's nodding his head. Yeah, I know. Okay. You got. I've done one worse where there is some degree of truth that celebrities are expected. Yes. To tip more. I mean, I can't even imagine you at a bar with a bartender. I don't do that.

Yeah. Ironically, I never did. But boy, that's my hellhole. But I have been so bad as to go out with people who, either aren't aware of the celebrity tip part, but they insist on picking up the tip. And as we get up to leave, I'll put some cash down for a little bigger tip. Yeah. That's worse.

That's bad. Isn't it? Isn't it what we're talking about? Like, isn't it just like, like, yeah, I'll never forget. I probably shouldn't say who it was. I was in college. I was waiting tables. while I was in college and I waited on to...

George Quinn. No. No. You know it. No, I'm just kidding. I waited on two super duper crazy, insane, famous athletes at the time. And it was a full, straight down the middle 20% tip. And it was like they were so famous that my manager at work took all my tables away and I just waited on them for the night.

Wow. And they ordered... We're talking basketball. Maybe, yeah. Maybe. We're talking Chicago bowls. Yeah. One round of drinks, like share...

Like a basic bitch dinner. Like them, their wives, they all got, like, one drink, and they shared two salads, and they got one entree, and they left. And I got a 20% tip. Which, by the way, is okay. But it was like, I had no other tables at night. Yeah. And I was like, fuck, man. Like, and also, I wasn't like, I was very cool.

I didn't bug them. I just, you know, I didn't even talk to them. Maybe I was not being a great waiter, but I just, the way it was going, it felt like they were really on a double date, like two total norms. And I wasn't going to be like, are you guys loving your Taliatta? How is it going? How are those Caesars? Like, I'm not going to do that ever, but to them.

Mary was a waitress in New York for seven years while she was going to school and then later before she started working, working as an actor. If I, when she met me, if I'd been a shitty tipper, I literally would not have stood a chance with her. I mean, you, like, I know people say this, but I believe it that everyone should be, should wait tables for like at least six months. Yeah. Like you have to be in the weeds and you have to have like a bad, I mean, you just have to.

Yeah. I chased a, got a table out of a restaurant once, like, asking them because they didn't leave me a tip. And I was, I'd been working at this restaurant for long enough at this point that I had, like, I was pretty confident. And I, like, excuse me, was there a problem with the service? Just curious. I just want to know if I could do anything to improve because you didn't leave me a tip. And I'm just wondering. And they were like, uh, yeah.

Wow. Good for you. I felt really good about that, though. They didn't, you know, come back and give me any money, but, like, I saw what you did. Yeah. You think we don't know. If you can't afford to eat here, don't. I won't say who, but Mary, uh, weighed at tables on somebody and left her 10%.

It was like a dime or, you know, a quarter on a $3 bill or whatever. Yeah. And he went on to become a famous talk show host and had her on the show. Did she? She told him exactly what he ordered and exactly how much the bill was and how much. Oh, my God. I love her even more. And I didn't think it was possible to have more love for her.

Have you worked with her? She's the best. It seems like we should have, but I don't think so. I know I auditioned for a movie that she was in. And I obviously didn't get the role. But I can't remember if we've actually worked together or not. I've just been circling you two for so long. I auditioned for a part in a movie.

She didn't get it either. Thank God, because I was a hot mess at the time. Now you have the best role in her life ever. My favorite waitress story for her. She walked by a table and some guy brushed, who was sitting down, brushed her kind of ass and she walked by. And she went, was that? Yeah, it was, but.

came back and he did it more obviously. Customer worker. Customer. Okay. And she grabbed a pot of coffee and said, if I walk by and it does it again. And he did. And she poured the entire thing of coffee.

It wasn't scalding hot. She's quick to add in his lap. And he leapt up, and I don't know what would have happened, but the bartender was her buddy and leapt across the bar, grabbed the guy by the Screvely Mac and threw him out into the street. I love that. Oh, I love that too. Waitress come up in stories.

Yeah. Kind of my favorite. Oh, my gosh. That's really good. That used to happen a lot. Yeah. I mean... How long did you wait tables?

I did it in high school at like a mall restaurant. This place called Olga's Kitchen, which was like a take on Greek food. in high school. So that would have been like junior, senior year. And then in college, I did it for, like on and off all through college. But I was a waitress. I was a cocktail server. I was a bartender at a nightclub. I worked at a coffee shop. There were these four guys. When I was working at this coffee shop once, there were these four guys that came in all day, every day, because they were studying for the bar. And I was so invested. and they never came back.

And I never knew if they passed it. I was like, you guys have to come back and they're like, oh my God, we totally will. And they didn't. And I still, to this day, I'm like, I wonder if those assholes pass the bar. Like, I wonder if they're attorneys in Illinois now. Or sitting on the Supreme Court or something horrible. Dear God. I never even thought about that.

But, you know, I was like, that was a lot of coffee I was serving them. And when you're, you know, at a diner coffee shop. You get refills. It's like poo covered in pee what you make. Yeah. You know? Pooh covered in pee. I mean, I was like free refills on coffee.

And like these guys have just put themselves through law school. And they sit there all day in the good table. Yeah. I'm like, but they're going to be really fancy lawyers. They're going to come back here and they're going to tip me and they're going to remember me and they never did. Let me pull you from your waitress, asked, and plop you down in the middle of stick. No, stick. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. Singular. You were, I loved it. Isn't it great? It is wonderful. It's a wonderful story. Everybody is so good. I love it. But you really, here, I'm going to mess you up again. But you, it was so, you had so much gravitas. And then when you come back around and you think maybe you guys will get back to it, you were so beautiful and so wise and you had this, I don't know what.

Thank you. It was really lovely. I love that show. Yeah, Owen is, must be a dream to work. He is amazing. We have also kind of been circling each other for, really long time, like timing didn't work out or, I don't know, things like past projects. Although I reminded him we did work together technically on a film called Marmaduke where he voiced the dog

Marmaduke. And I was a live action human. I was Marmaduke's mom. We did not meet. Anyway, yeah, we have been kind of almost worked together so many times Owen and I. So when I finally got cast in this with him. It was funny. I was, I was, I'm always nervous before I start. I mean, I'm generally nervous anyway, but like the, the first day of work with him just felt like I'd known him forever. We just clicked right away and the scenes were really good. So well written. There was so much compassion. Um, in, in like the dialogue, I felt like between these two people. Um, um, I think that what tore them apart, what causes them to split up, you know, was never a lack of, yeah, it was never a lack of love for each other. You know, it wasn't infidelity. And I think that that is something that is important to understand, like, why they can still be so connected and why they can have so much love for each other because they, because they just dealt with the grief in very different ways, you know?

and like, and so it just was really fun to do. And I love, I love him. And everything that comes out of his mouth is so honest and so not what I think of when I read a scene. Like, he just brings something so special. Yeah. And I think the role is so good for him. And honestly, like, it's really fun to be in a show that people actually watch and really love. Streaming is something else when something gets dropped like they do.

on streaming in the world all of a sudden sees it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And I feel very lucky that I got to be a part of it and we're doing a second season. Are you? Yeah. I'm so excited.

I know. I'm excited to see what these people do now. I think it was a little bit, you know, teed up that maybe he might want to try golfing again. I don't know. We'll see. I don't know anything about the new season. Jason Keller. who created the show as a friend of mine.

I've known him for years actually socially. And he wrote Ford versus Ferrari, and he's such a talented. I know. He's such a great screenwriter. And he was sort of talking to us socially just like, yeah, I've got this idea about like a golf pro who's not. And we're like, oh, cool, whatever. Awesome. And then it's just like, you know, seeing your friends do something and have so much success and do it so well.

Like, it's just really exciting. You are a stepmom. I am. So are you. I'm a stepdad. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

It's a different path. Yes. And Ken, not tricky bad, but like, I think early on, both Mary and I realized, because I had two kids and she had two kids, that. And we actually included it in our wedding boughs. We realized we needed to. say a bow to them, which was basically, you know, promised to be the best friend I can be to you for the rest of your life. Because you're not their parent. No. You're not their mom and dad or whatever. No, and sometimes they remind you of that. Yes. Yes. It can be thankless. But if you realize,

oh, all right, I'm your cheerleader is what I am. Yeah. You know, and I... I had a therapist, a different one that I... I love therapy, by the way. A different one that I see now, but at the time, my therapist said, she was like, step parenting is hard because you have all the responsibility with none of the authority. And when she put that into words, it became very crystal clear what my job was. I was like, oh, I'm just here to, you know, like, like, be a good, like a, I don't know, like an aunt, like a godparent, like a, I mean, in my particular situation, step parenting is, you know, every situation is so specific. Mine was really easy and good. And, like, Yeah, I was supposed to.

You know, I have no complaints and there was never, I mean, there was like, you know, a couple times where I was like, oh, right. Yeah, no, I'm not your mom. But mostly it was like me telling my husband and needed to tell them something. And he was like, oh, like, you're? Your husband, your mate is definitely in the middle. Yeah. And he would just be like, oh. I'm like, they need chores.

And he's like, well, tell them to have chores. And I'm like, that's unfair. It's unfair for me to have to tell them they have to have chores. And he'd be like, oh, man. I'm like, I think it's interesting that he has a test tomorrow, but you're still having the pitching coach come and work on his pitching for baseball, but not a tutor helping him with his test. He'd be like, oh.

Oh. How old were you? No. They? Yeah. It's okay. I could also die. They were nine and 12.

Because I remember, yeah, he was. That's pretty close to what we were, too. Yeah. It was actually great. And truthfully, like, I wasn't, I didn't have a baby, but I was planning on it, kind of. I was like, yeah, I mean, obviously I'm going to have a kid. And then really, it's not because, like, I could see the story going like, they were so terrible. I didn't want to have a kid.

But, like, they were so great that I was like, why would I, like, ruin all this? Like, this is, like, so good. Everything is so good. And your hands are full. Yeah. I mean, I was busy. I didn't slow down my work. at all. So it was like, I was all this set of, I went from being like, yeah, maybe I'll stay a couple

extra days on location and like do a thing to like get me on the first plane out. Like, I have to get to Thousand Oaks because like Emily has a soccer game. Lucas has a baseball tournament. Like there was like, I went from like, I went from having like the basket in the supermarket to having like the big cart overnight where I'm like, what do you feed these humans? Like, what do they eat? You have to cook them food all the time. I know. I was like, holy shit. It was a crash course. I always think that mothers who work, it's probably true of mothers who work in any job,

but as an actor, you love your work. Marital loves her work, loves her children. Especially, you know, when they were young and it was, she would feel guilty about leaving. And she told her young, I don't know, four-year-old Lily, because she was feeling guilty about to get on a plane saying, I have this job. I love being your mom so much. And I love my job as an actor.

And sometimes my job makes me go away. And I hope you someday have, you know, this speech went on for about 10, 15 minutes. So I hope you. And Lily sucks it in and says, well, picking my nose, that's my job. And Mary went, Okay.

All right. Perhaps she does not need this speech. Same conversation again in a few years. Oh my gosh. It's hard being, I think it's easier being a father, you know, just because it shouldn't be, but there is this sense of, oh, this is what we do. The man has to go. Yeah, I know. And we're still, like, we're still screwed for wanting it all or for thinking we can do it all.

Or, like, yeah, I mean, I know that the trends. is definitely shifting. I know of several stay-at-home dads. And I love that. And I, but I, but yes, I think I felt very much like if I had a baby that I would have to really slow down my work. And I, like, just wasn't sure. I wasn't sure I could or would want to or, like, be able to raise a baby the way I would have wanted to, working as much as I wanted to. And, I love working. Now, had I not had stepkids, that would be different. But it was like, I met these beautiful humans. And so I got to have like, I got to have all of it. I got to have like the kids. And we all have such a great relationship. And I'm so lucky and they're so great. And we're all so

close. And even their mom, like it's all, it all worked out really, really well. But I don't know. I just didn't really know. I just didn't really know if I want. wanted to like rock the boat. Yeah. With like one. But who knows? It doesn't matter anymore. I don't even think about it anymore. But I was like, can I?

And my mom was a working mom and I'm an only child and she was working a lot. She had a really big career. And I mean. Hospital administrator. Yeah. Yes. So like, you know, without being like I didn't want to leave my kid as much as she left me. That was kind of what I was thinking. I can say that because I don't think she knows how to listen

to a podcast. I'm always like, mom, listen to podcasts when you take your walk. They sound so Midwestern, mom, listen to a podcast when you take your walk. I don't know how to do that. I'm like, okay. But yeah, I was always like, oh, I wish that she would have been around more, you know? By the way, didn't, because I'm a victim of it too. I didn't really. I didn't. I didn't. really wish my dad would have been around more, even though I have a great relationship with both of them. It just was like, oh, I wish my mom was home. I think all of my activist-like stuff that I do, especially the ocean advocacy, it's because I wanted my father to go, oh, I see, you're an actor, but you're hanging around with scientists. And I really think that was a big impetus.

Yeah. How are you with what's going on in the world? How do you handle your heart? stay in this dark room. Yeah. Or Denmark. We just came back from Denmark. Oh, my God. Yes. Was it magical?

Magical. It's eight and a half million people, so I imagine we could scrabble together eight and a half million people here and have the same kind of thing. But it's very sweet and gentle and kind. Yeah, yeah. But also, like, they're very direct, aren't they? Aren't they like a direct people? Yes.

There's like a directness to sort of this Scandinavian culture that I really like. Even there, I find like their design, because everything is about food now and design. But design is functional. Yes. It's beautiful. Yes. But it's for a function. Right.

So it has that simplicity, which kind of is what you're saying too. That's kind of what I like about like those. like about the people I've met from there. But I've never been. But also, it just looks really peaceful and calming and beautiful. Unlike here, which has my heart feel. It's such a kind of beautiful question. It just depends on how I allow it to feel.

Like, I think I've gotten involved with an organization called International Medical Corps, which has helped me. a lot, feel like I'm doing something, something more than just like sending checks like willy-nilly to who reaches out. And it was something, I met this organization when I was shooting in Puerto Rico after Hurricane Maria and they were there helping. And so I kind of got involved with them on my days off and I just kept up with them and I've done trips with them. We just went to Ukraine in May. Wow, what was that like? I mean, stupid question, but what was that like? It's beautiful. It was, you know, again, the people were so filled with hope, the people I was around.

And again, I'm seeing a certain section of it, you know, but the people are, they have so much pride and they are so, hopeful and resilient. And what was explained to us very early on in our trip was that if a building is blown up, they'll have it cleaned up, like, immediately. And that's something that was happening in Kiev that is because they are so proud and they're like so proud of their city,

their communities. It's like they don't, yes, you'll see a, building that has been reduced to rubble, but they will clean it up and get it, get it sort of get all of the rubble moved away as soon as possible because it's like, we don't want to look at that. Like, probably not explaining it well, but... No, you are. That was something to me that was very telling that they, A, have the ability to do that and that that is a priority during this war is to like, like, keep everything moving and

functioning as well as possible. The train, the underground train stations are where a lot of people shelter when they have to. And so, you know, that, that becomes like a bit of a community. There's the men aren't allowed to leave the country at all. So when we were traveling to and from, we were going through Poland and it was just all women and children on the train. and crossing the border. And like Ukrainian men, the men that we were with are because they're not Ukrainian, to be specific, because they all have to fight. You know, they fight in shifts and they're all expected to, if you're healthy, to do your

part. We were seeing, we visited clinics because a lot of what International Medical Corps does, they do obviously like medicine, but they're really super focused on mental health. health. And so they're really focused when I went with them to Jordan. I was visiting a Syrian refugee camp that even now still has 60,000 Syrian refugees living in it. And so much of their focus, after doing sort of the like triage of what's going on and getting people there and getting people settled is like leaving them with the mental health, the facilities, the clinics, the people, the staff to, you know, try to get people like medication.

they might need therapy, like classes, clinics on how to deal with PTSD and trauma. And that is something beyond like frontline medicine. We forget about that like when organizations leave, the people are still there and they are affected by this obviously. but like when you're there and you see it like they need help they need help with their brains they need help learning how to cope with what their life is now and what they've lost and what the future might bring and then add on to it people who already have mental health struggles who like already have things that they're dealing with that have nothing to do with what they're seeing and what they're

living through right now and they're not getting the help that they need so it it does it does sort of multiply so seeing these clinics and these places where like International Medical Corps is like getting drugs there. They're training local staff. That's another thing that I was really impressed by was that they train all the locals so that they can leave and that the people, it's not like we're just leaving and we're like, well, good luck. Like they're training everyone so that when they, when their people do have to leave or funding is cut. That's a fun thing. that at least that they've trained like local therapists and doctors and clinicians to carry on

because, you know, we're not able to do it as here. We can't do it forever. All these organizations, whichever organization you're involved with are interested in, like we're all losing money. They're all, the funding is getting cut. And so it's even doubly important to train local people. when you're there. Yeah.

But I'm not here to talk about that. No, you are, actually. Okay, good. You are. I mean, from my point of view, I love, I love hearing that from you. Oh, good. There's something about this time, which is, you know, social media, mainstream media, my side, their side. Everybody is dealing in fear and anger.

Right. And part of that is because that's how news works. part of it is because it's true there's a lot of sadness and suffering but i have grandchildren and when i let myself dip into hopelessness then i'm then it's a bit of a shame on me because yeah no you there are so many things that you can either do to bring joy or healing out in the world and hope you know making people laugh is also a way to bring hope to people um look what bob hope did he put himself in the middle of wars to make people forget their fears and feel a sense of community. And that's something that we as, when we do it right in our business, we do put out hope

and joy in a sense of community. So to dip into hopelessness, which I can do daily, you know, is not right, you know. It's not. And we have been, for whatever reason, given somewhat of an opportunity, and I hate this word now, but platform for it, because we can get a voice out there. Yeah. But I think I read, I wish I could remember where I read it, but I remember almost nothing these days. It's super fun. About, like, starting, like, if you want to help and you don't know what to do and you don't have money maybe to send a check, you can always just start, like, start on your block, start in your building, and then, like, kind of just let it see what happens, like, see how it expands from there.

Like, is there someone in your block that might need something? Like, is there garbage on your streets that you could pick up one day? Like, can you take a garbage? Do you ever, like, I know David Siddharis, I love his books and I love to listen to them because he reads them, but he talks about, like, doing his trash walk. and just picking up garbage on the side of the road when he does his walk. And it's like, someone will see him doing that and not know who he is. Just see a man on a walk like picking up garbage, you know.

And like that is inspiring. Just that little thing. And it doesn't really cost anything. You should be out walking anyway. I don't know. That's a thing you can do. That isn't necessarily like going to Ukraine, but in your little tiny world. You know? No, no, absolutely. And I think that's really important to put out that it's each one of us trying to be just a little bit better.

Yeah, a tiny little thing you can do. Yeah. I really love seeing you again. I so admire you. I hope you get that as an actor. You really are brilliant. Thank you. Yeah. Thank you. Yeah. It's fun talking to you. Likewise. That was the delightful Judy Greer. Earlier you heard us talk about the amateurs, I highly recommend it. You don't actually get to laugh

and see a porno film being made at the same time. So enjoy. That's all for our show this week. Special thanks to our friends at Team Coco. If you enjoyed this episode, send it to someone you love. Subscribe on your favorite podcast app and maybe give us a great rating

and review on Apple Podcasts. If you like watching your podcasts, all our full-length episodes are on YouTube. Visit YouTube.com slash team cocoa. See you next time, where everybody knows. You've been listening to Where Everybody Knows Your Name. You've been listening to Where Everybody Knows Your Name with Ted Danson and Woody Harrelson sometimes. The show is produced by me, Nick Leow, our executive producers are Adam Sacks, Jeff Ross, and myself. Sarah Federovich is our supervising producer,

engineering mixing by Joanna Samuel with support from Eduardo Perez. Research by Alyssa Grail, talent booking by Paula Davis and Gina Batista. Our theme music is by Woody Harrelson, Anthony Gen, Mary Steenbergin, and John Osborne.