Where Everybody Knows Your Name with Ted Danson and Woody Harrelson (sometimes) - Kate Mara

Episode Date: September 3, 2025

Ted Danson is grateful for any chance to reconnect with his dear friend, actor Kate Mara. Kate talks with Ted about the correct pronunciation of her last name, what it was like acting with her sister Rooney in a Werner Herzog film, growing up in an NFL family, how she and her husband Jamie Bell got together, and more. Like watching your podcasts?  Visit http://youtube.com/teamcoco to see full episodes. 

What a kiss. Right? Yeah. Memorable. Welcome back to where everybody knows your name. I won't get into all of Kate Mara's credits, but here's just a few. Brokeback Mountain, House of Cards, American Horror Story, The Martian, and so many more. Our connection is that she co-starred alongside my wife, Mary Steenberg,

in the open road, and during that rehearsal process that took place in our house, I got to know her, and she's been a great friend. Kate has some really exciting stuff on the horizon, including Verna Herzog film, where she'll be starring alongside her sister Rooney. You'll hear about it in a second. There she is. Kate Mara. So yes, Adam, are we recording? What's going in? Okay, and you don't mind if I talk about them? He's our boss. Okay. Well, Adam, those Pilates next to me in this tiny studio in Los Phila's, and there's only, I think, five machines, and he's always the only man. And, yeah, we get our asses kicked next to each other. So, yeah, that's how we know each other.

But while we're at it, because Mary and I are just, Mary, who sends much love. Oh, Mary. We'll get into all the family connections in a minute. But we want to start doing it because I'm a little. of the age where lifting heavy is no longer, you know, an option. But it's really good for you. Wasn't it designed to heal ballet? Like injured dancers? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's brutal. I feel like But safe. Very safe. Yeah. I feel like guys are like hesitant to do it because it looks maybe soft or something, but then every guy I've ever seen. I brought my younger brother Connor to a Pilates class

with me years ago, 10 years ago. And he stopped mid. way and was vomiting in the bathroom. He was like, that was horrible of never going again. But I think it's amazing. I think you could do it, Ted. Get in there. It sounds like an apparel spritz.

The first time I had an apparel spritz, I said, oh, is this one of those girl drinks? And Mary had to carry me to the elevator. Oh, that's fun. Yeah. Okay. Hi, Kate. Hi.

There's so many little connections. Big. I have to. I can't just start talking. Like I don't know you. And I haven't seen you forever. And your daughter was my doula for two of my three children. I can't.

There's so many crazy connections. Two of your three. Yeah, well, because my oldest, I didn't birth because he's my stepson. Right. But for my two little ones, yeah, Kate was my dola. And she's the best. I know. She told me that.

Yeah. Yeah. So it runs deep. Your family, Charlie, you know, I'm obsessed with Charlie. Charlie McDowell. I'm obsessed with Charlie He's the best Who's not obsessed with him?

I'm also obsessed with his wife Lily I love Lily But yeah The first time you and I met Was it for the open road? I think that I mean I heard of you Because I think you knew Charlie No I met Charlie on

When we were really We were rehearsing for the film The Open Road and we for whatever reason took over your Ohio house Yes, Jeff stayed nearby, but Justin, Jim Lake, you, and Mary were in the film. We were rehearsing there. Do you remember everyone was singing every night before?

It was so cool to just like be around that many musicians and everyone would just randomly pick up their guitars. And Bill Paxson was living nearby and came that one night where everyone was singing. And we played running charades with everyone. Really fun. What a fun time. But that's where I met you and Mary for the first time and Charlie, and I became, like, best friends because of that. Yeah.

Very cool. I know. Then we have to put in your sister, who goes by a different last name, I understand. It's Mara, not Mara. Yeah, we got a, she and I just did a movie. Rooney and I just did a movie together. Have you completed that? My research said you were about to.

We just, we finished. Oh. We finished it a month ago. Are we talking about it now or no? No, let's, we jump around. because that's my brain. So please, you and Rooney? I thought maybe we would clear up the last name thing

while we were working together. But it never came up. So who changed the pronunciation from, let's say, your grandparents? Of course she did. Because my grandparents are New Yorkers. So they kind of said it like Mara, you know. But it sounds much better as Mara.

And it probably really is Mara. because it's Irish. Right. You know? O-Mara, Mara. So that's how Rooney likes to say it, but I always say it's Mara. But yes, we just made a movie together, and we'd never worked together before. It's called Bucking Fastered.

Bucking Fasted, which is wonderful. It's not the greatest title of all the time. It's very good place where you, you know, fork yourself. It's so good. bastards. Werner Herzog wrote it and directed it. And we play sisters who are so close that they speak in unison. Always? Always. Yeah. So it was the most bonding experience of our lives, truly. I mean, that's like a score, a musical score, because you had to rehearse that alone. You know, what was interesting is we really, we thought it would be, we really didn't know how we were going to do the in unison thing.

And I really, I thought we were going to have to just practice the lines over and over again in order to figure out how we were going to say it together. But I think that the thing that got us so, I think what we did in preparation that helped us the most was really just, um, spend time together. and we just sort of talked about the characters and the movie and all that. And then everything else fell into place way easier. But we did have little things that we would do. We would say this, you know, we would say like a prayer together in unison in the trailer. But we were sharing a trailer. We were eating the same things when we weren't on camera.

We were dressing the same even when we weren't on camera. Just to really do it, you know? How long when you do you think the performance? rehearsal to the end of shoot you were doing this? Well, we had a few weeks of rehearsal time, which was amazing. You don't always have that.

And we would just, at first, we would plan out our outfits. We would text each other in the morning and say this is what we'll wear today. And then we would just start dressing the same, accidentally on purpose, which was so funny to us. And then, you know, when we weren't saying our dialogue

in the film, we would just start responding in unison accidentally and it was just very, very connecting. But help me understand so if you your two characters, if you're talking to each other,

how does one do that without doing them? Occasionally, we do say a word or two that's not in unison, but then we basically always finish each other's sentences. We share the same thought, like they dream the same dreams. It's very interesting, very unique, very Werner-Hertzog, You know. Okay, you're throwing that around.

Do you know who Werner Hurts out? Okay. Yes, but it's like, you know, genuflect time. I know. So what was that like? Well, a dream. I mean, my sister and I have been offered other things to possibly do together over the years. We've always wanted to work together. But there's always been something that wasn't quite right.

You know, we both have to want to do the project. There have to be, the roles have to be sort of both equally amazing. We both have to want to be really excited about the director, all of these things. And we got a letter from him, from Werner, that was so beautiful. And regardless, when I heard that he wanted us to be in his film, my reaction was instantly, yes, because I just think he's one of the greats and nobody is like him, which is, in fact, true after working with him. there's there will never be anybody like him um just can you describe a little bit what that feels like as an actor being directed by him yeah it's um at first i was well what's interesting

about verner is um you know i think you he's quite can be quite intimidating because he's very opinionated and very um specific about what he likes and what he doesn't like and he is not afraid to say it. I mean, if you watch any interview with him, you'll see what I mean. But he's so collaborative and trusts. I mean, he trusted us so much with these characters. And so it was actually, in the end, quite freeing for me and Rooney. Because, you know, when you're speaking in unison, you can feel quite trapped because you've got, if you're supposed to be similar, You kind of have to do maybe you think, oh, I got to do what the other person is doing or whatever. But I don't know.

He created a set that was so special and so, I mean, he's so specific. He doesn't want anybody speaking ever. He doesn't like sound in between takes. If he hears the smallest sound, it really messes with his thought process and the way he works. He is the, he's the one that says action. He's the, he's the, um, he's the, um, he's the clapper. He's right, literally, he doesn't look at a monitor. He's right there next to the camera at all times.

Wow, but that must be so intensely good for you. Because what you're hoping to be usually is witnessed and observed by the director. Yeah. And you were so intensely getting that. Mm-hmm. Yes. Very much so. Yes, or are we? No, at first it was a little bit, it was jarring, but he's so, he cares so much about,

he really wants you as an actor to feel free and to take ownership of your, you know, character and all of that. So he really wants, because he's so honest, he, I think he expects other people to be as honest, but most people are not, or most people are scared to be. But by the end, I felt very, very at ease with him directing us and very, very comfortable. But yeah, he's just, there's just no one like him. I think it's the honesty. It can be quite brutal at times. That sucked.

Do it again. That's funny. But we were, we thought it was funny. Yeah. Oh, just end it, he would say. Just like, you know, stop. You know, make it stop, that kind of thing. But so, me and Rooney found it really, really funny.

Did you receive notes like your twins, you know, who speak? The sisters, he would call us, yes. But did you receive notes the same way you and Rooney, or would you be divergent? Usually the note was for both of us, yes. Thank God. Yes. Rooney, great job, Kate. Exactly.

Exactly, exactly. Really, the notes normally would be sort of like, okay, if one of you is looking in that direction, the other one's looking in the other direction, we have to find a way to make it, make even your looks in unison because it can be distracting if one of you is looking that way. You're right. Yeah. So it was more logistics like that. Wow. Yeah. Anyway, it was a total dream.

And the other thing about his sets, which is so unique, in my experience anyway, is that the crew was so small. It was so intimate. And again, so quiet. It's like you could hear a pin drop. He doesn't allow phones on set either. Very, very strict about that. Where'd you shoot?

We shot in Ireland, in Dublin. Soundstage or all over? No, all over. We also shot in Slovenia in these caves, which was also incredible. God, what an experience. I know. It was a very special experience.

But then I went from that to this Apple show that I'm finishing right now and to go from this really intimate experience to a more sort of like normal experience. It just was so jarring to go, oh, right, this is what the atmosphere usually is on a set. You have to be really focused because there's a thousand people doing

other jobs. Anyway, it was quite dreamlike the whole thing. Wow. Yeah. Were you able to take your kids with you? Yeah, we had all the kids. Again, he was, Werner was so, because my sister has a baby, this was a couple months ago now, but, you know, she was, the baby was with us on set all the time or at the trailer.

And so she was feeding the baby. No, I did not make a sound. Maybe. Yeah, he was very warm about that he always wanted us to, well, the other thing is that he wraps so quickly because he only gets coverage of what he knows he needs. He would never, ever shoot something that he even questioned. It would be like, no, I know I need it or I don't need it. So there was a day once where we wrapped at 2 p.m. just because, you know, the crew was just like, how is this real? We finished a week early. Have you ever finished a week early on any job ever? I got COVID. That was the only time. Wait, what was I going to ask? How many takes?

Yeah. Not many. Yeah, it was more, it was like a four take. And you just have a two-week rehearsal, where you literally rehearsed the scenes or not? We did. We went through the script with him. But it was more, like, we had been planning to make this film with him for a year. So we had, you know, dinners and.

season. We spent time with him so that by the time we filmed we were quite. What an creative experience. I know. Wow. That's delicious. It was. Tell me quickly about what you just started or finished, the Apple

project. Yes, in the middle of it right now. It's called Imperfect Women. Oh. Wait, is that, who's that with? Is that with, Is that with Moore? No. Carrie Washington and Elizabeth Moss. Oh, wonderful.

What did you think it was? No, there was something you did that I'm just dying with Morgan Freeman. Oh, no. I worked with Morgan forever ago, but also we were meant to, maybe you're looking. No, friendship. Oh, friendship. I want to see. I'm dying to see friendship.

Oh, yeah, I want to know what you think of it. Friendship was so much fun. Is it out already? It's already out. Oh, I'm sorry. No, no, it's quite all right. Yeah, that was a really fun movie to do. I've never done a comedy before.

And it's, you know, it's... Who's in it again, tell me? Tim Robinson and Paul Rudd. Yeah. And you, in the notes, I heard you're talking about it, that it was shot as if it were a drama. Yeah, our director, Andy, when he was sort of pitching it to me, he said, like, I think he said something like,

I want to shoot it like it's the master. You know, like the movie, the master. And I've said, oh, okay, so I don't have to worry about, like, being in a comedy. Like, do I do something different in a comedy than you do in a drama? And he was like, no, I want you to do it like you're doing a drama. And I want to prep it, like, for me anyway, like it's a drama. And the script could hold that point of view? Yeah, and for my character.

And, yeah, I think for the others as well, I think a lot of it works because it's. I'm dying to see it. It's wild. Yeah. It's wild. Have you guys seen it over there? Shoot. Yeah.

Yeah. It's very funny. And so fun, I'm like, oh, why don't I do? I mean, comedies, well, that one anyway, was just like the nicest, you know, everyone's laughing, trying not to laugh all day. Like, that's the vibe on set. I've never had that before. Mary's impossible. She ruins more takes. Does she?

She wants on step-brose. others, which was just hilarious. But she came to the director, Adam, and said later, after she saw a screening and went, why did you use the take where I was laughing? Or you can see me start to laugh. Mary, there's no take. That's your end. She's a terrible giggler. It's so fun, though. That's the best feeling when you're like, I actually don't know how to stop laughing at this scenario has your choice of film since you have kids your kind of film would you rather be doing something that doesn't take you down these dark tunnels of exploration and do something lighter or are you okay still with whatever it is you're doing yeah um i know not really but i would it does

make me want to do something that they can actually see right i mean i don't think they can see any of the work that i've done period right right So it does make me want to do at least like one, you know, God, put me in a animated movie or something. Something with 10. Anything. But, no, I still love, I love going. Because I don't have a hard time switching off.

No, no. You're a wonderful actor. This sounds like I'm wrapping up. I'm not. I have loved watching you over the years since I saw you in person last. Thank you. Yeah, you're really good. And you get to work with these amazing people.

I do. I've gotten so lucky. You know, Mary and I have been in two movies together, but never have worked together. I know. We just did one. Yeah. In Vegas, right? It was.

Easy's Waltz. Yeah. But we didn't have any scenes together. Yeah. And then in the other one, the open road back in the day, we didn't have any scenes together either. But we got to bunk out together all at our house for a couple of days. That's a great way to rehearse a film. Take over a house and just hang.

Yeah. I know. You don't always have the luxury of doing that, but that was a nice way to begin. I rewatched a scene with Heath. Oh. In Brokeback Mountain. That was really good. What was that like working with him?

I mean, in hindsight, it's not just in hindsight that he was a very special actor. He was, as you were watching, everything he did. You're going, oh, this guy's really special. I know. Yeah, it was so long ago, but I do remember it pretty well. I mean, Ang Lee, who I just adore so much, he was, he is such a, like such a beautiful person. He is very specific about, um, in his direction, very, very specific. And I was, I was 19. I started acting when I was 14, but I, I, It felt very much like one of my first jobs, even though it wasn't. And so I was just convinced, because I'd never worked with the director like that before,

who was so, you know, he would say, like, don't blink or don't do this, just very specific details about your movements. And I just thought he was going to fire me, for sure, on day one. And Heath was so sweet. You know, he was like, I didn't say that out loud, but internally I was thinking, this is it. He's definitely going to replace me. This is how he's directing me. And Heath just was sort of like,

this is how he is with everybody. And don't worry about it. Just, you know, just do your thing. But yeah, he was very, very sweet. And I just remember thinking like how easy it was for him or seemingly so to snap into character. Because in between takes, he was very, you know, not that way, very casual.

and going to look at the monitor and, like, you know, just, it just wasn't in this, like, zone. Yeah, yeah. I was very impressed by all of that. And it really stayed, stayed with me, how sweet and easy he was with the crew and everybody. Yeah. Yeah, you really do have to kind of host, I think, the crew. I mean, you should. Yeah, because these people are spending way more time there than you are.

It's their life. And if you're an asshole, then, yeah, it's horrible. And it just makes you more of a family rather than, you know. They are your audience. Absolutely. Literally. Yeah. In the moment.

Mm-hmm. Yeah, that's so true. What was your first film then? Shortly before that, right? Well, no, I was 14. I mean, the first thing I ever did was a movie called Joe the King that Frank Whaley. Do you know Frank Whaley, the actor? Why do I know?

Also direct, I bet you would know him if you, if you saw him. He also directed it. Maybe he even wrote it. But Val Kilmer was in it and, but it was about, I think it was sort of based on Frank's childhood. So I had a small part in that. That was my first ever job. But then. First ever, including like, I think that was before TV.

Yeah, yeah. And how did you get that? Well, I got an, I got like. Tish by then? No, I never went to Tish. Well, I thought you did. I was supposed to. Mm-hmm.

I was supposed to, but I was very determined to not go to college. Right. Because I was already acting, I didn't feel like that made sense, but my parents thought otherwise, so I just kept deferring. I'm sorry. You said you were 14. Mm-hmm. So clearly you weren't at Tish. I'm sorry.

No, but I, so when I was 14 is when I started acting, but then I graduated high school, because I loved it so much and wanted to do it full time and I didn't want, you know, to be, again, to be, like, stuck in college. I thought my parents were going to force me to go to college. So I, so I said to them, well, okay, I've got a great plan. I'm going to skip a year. I'll graduate a year early from high school so that I can go to college and get that over with so my acting career can really start. And they were like, okay, well, I don't know if that's possible, but sure. So I managed to somehow, and I was not a great student, so I don't know how I did it. I think it was more convincing rather than grades, but I did graduate high school year early, and then got into Tish and sort

of my, I was supposed to go to Cap 21, the musical theater program, but I managed to get a job like right before the school year, the college school year was going to start, and I said, I'll just defer a year, but I knew I would just keep deferring until, until they realized that I was going to be okay and like survive as an actor right so that's kind of what happened i never ended up going um and how'd you get the first job well i i i got a manager when i was 14 and an agent um because i was doing um our neighbor at the time was uh her she was carroll so her name is sherry condor She's Carol King's daughter, and she was making a children's album called The Sugar Beats. And it's 50s and 60s music, but sung by children.

And so I auditioned, I think I was 9 or 10. I auditioned to be on this album. And I got, you know, I was one of the kids in the album. We made, I think, like, three or four albums. And so we would sing these songs, and then we would perform occasionally. And one of the other girls in the, you know, quote unquote band with me was a Broadway kid. She was on Broadway and lame as a rub and all these other things. And at some point, like down the line, I think I was about 13 at this point.

We asked her, can you give us your, I think your manager's address, like mailing address. And we just like mailed in the regular mail, you know, not email or anything like that. just like a cassette tape of me singing some jingles and a headshot and my resume, which didn't include really anything, either I hadn't done anything. And by, by, I don't know, luck, she saw my picture and thought they were casting something at the time. I think it was, I think it was great expectations, the film. They were looking for a, and I look nothing like her, but I think for whatever reason the

picture made her think, oh, you could play. a young Gwyneth Peltro. I cannot play a young Gwyneth Peltro. Um, but she thought maybe that would work. So she brought me in based on this headshot and based on maybe I could get her to audition for this movie. And that's how I got a manager at the time. It was just like, you know, a friend and an address. And that's how it all started, really. I won't ask you if you still have your same manager. No, but you know what? We are still friends in the show that she is also Carrie Washington's manager. So she's involved in the show that I'm

doing right now. It's so wild. I just saw her the other day. It's pretty beautiful, yeah. It's kind of an incredible story. I was one of those people that when Shears kind of landed, I left my agent of many years. I'm that guy and that asshole.

Oh, no. Yikes, and he died shortly after. Oh, my. I know. Richard Bowman. He was a wonderful gentleman. Anyway, I owe him a lot. Brutal. How are your folks? I'm backing all the way up, because you do have an interesting background, but I was fortunate because of the two football dynasty families that your

grandparents both started, right? My great-grandparents. Great-grandparents. And so you grew up really going to the Giants games all the time. I saw you sing a anthem. Did you? The morning this morning i was watching i was like were you there okay that was a long time ago yeah right but uh we did go when runy and charlie were hanging out to a game and your grandmother i think your grandfather had passed away your grandmother was there and we're in the box and everyone is very sweet to us but when i'm a football dilettante i mean when it comes to a playoff yeah i'll watch it Yeah. Otherwise, I'm totally ignorant to football.

Enjoy it. But, you know, anyway, so we're sitting there and I thought, oh, this will be lovely. And I think I tried to chat up your grandmother, being the charming Ted. You know, and I don't think that went very well or anywhere. She wasn't anything. But then they started to play and got a little behind. And she was ferocious. Yeah.

She was, you know, giving, they couldn't hear her. But what for to the player or the coach or the moment or the play or whatever? She was so into the game with such passion and ferocity. I just kind of sat very quietly for the rest of the game. But she's amazing. She was. Yes, she was amazing. She had a lot of opinions about anything going on during a football game.

She always kind of sat in the same spot in the box. I never sat anywhere near her because it was too. scary right um but yeah she was very passionate um so i wasn't making that up in my little mind no it was scary oh my god thank you i didn't want to say scary it was terrifying i wouldn't i wouldn't sit near her i don't think any of us really would it was really intense i mean my grandfather when he was alive did not sit in the box with us or her oh really yeah and my dad still doesn't he sits him and his brother his two two of his brother sit in a box literally on the other side of the stadium.

But also, they have seven sisters. So multiply my grandma by seven. I mean, can you imagine that with, but times seven? It's a lot of emotions. Yeah, but also, the experience of us going to games as kids was so specific and so different than it is now. Well, also because our family's just, you know, exploded. Everybody has kids and kids and kids.

There's so many of us. But when I was younger, there was a box, the owner's box that we would all go in. It was much smaller. And this is after having gone to church on Sunday. Always we would go to church before the Giants game. But also, you know, the game really felt like church as well. We weren't allowed in that box if you were dressed in jeans. Like that was not allowed.

You had to be dressed like you were going to church. like it was a business and it was very quiet we were all very quiet and very focused on the game now it's very casual and you know you can show up in a Giants jersey but I don't think I even

owned a Giants jersey until both my grandparents passed. I mean it's like going to the theater when I was growing up you wore a suit in the city but you wore a dark suit to go to the theater at night. I mean it was that specific and it wasn't just wealthy folks people showed up in their finery to go to

the theater and i kind of missed that i understand it's very romantic yeah thank you yeah that's what it is i agree yeah and it's our it's our family's business so it makes total sense that they would want they wanted us to be you know to treat it with respect right were you all treated differently as kids or is it it was i mean the stadium is so huge it'd be easy if you to only see a little bit of it or be seen by only a little bit of the organization or were you treated very differently being the

owners? We didn't the thing that we would do that obviously is very special to that experience or unique to that is when the games would finish. We never left right away. We would wait probably an hour before we would drive home.

But we were allowed to sort of climb out of the box and just walk through the empty stands and find like whatever cool knick-knacks people would leave behind. How old are you in this description? Oh, my entire life. Oh, you would go look around? Yeah, yeah.

Me and my older brother and my younger siblings would just go walk through the stands, all through the stadium, picking up change. Sometimes they'd leave other things that were more exciting. And then a lot of times we would go down to the field and just run around, get energy out. So obviously those experiences are very special. unique. But that was kind of it. Otherwise, we would just, we would literally go from the car to the box. My brothers, of course, would go into, they both worked for the team. They were ball boys. So they, their whole lives, they grew up going into the locker rooms and they

were working for the team. Right. But my, my sister and I, our experience was quite limited to the box and the stands. Right. But I have such good memories of that, you know. Did your grandparents both, they both lived long enough? to see you become an actress yeah oh yes and they were very opinionated about what work I did very

they sound like my parents a little bit really well not yeah I mean probably looser not quite as strict but this is how my mother watched body heat the entire film the entire film even the parts where I'm in which were not particularly sexy she had her hand over her face

I mean, the fact that she watched it at all would be more... Heard it at all. Yeah. Yeah, no, my grandparents would... I don't know what they would have seen of mine, but they... If a character that I was playing did something that they do not approve of, they were mad that I played that character.

Right. Very mad. And I'd then hear about it, and it would be a whole drama in the family. They would not have gone to see Lady Macbeth played by you. Oh, no. No. No. And yeah. So it was a little, it was much more stressful for my father than it was for me because I, you know, I was kind of okay with getting a dirty look at a football game, you know, here and there. But yeah, my poor father had to hear about it all the time. And again, I really didn't make that many things that they would have been excited about. There was always something, something like risque. I'm always slightly surprised when civilians, if you will, you know, people who are not in show business something, like my parents, would sometimes offer like, like it would be, it would hit hard. It'd be like, yeah, I don't think that was very good.

Yeah. You know, and they think they're talking to me like, oh, yeah, you know, something you're right. I think I can't improve. Thank you. Thank you for that. I appreciate that. It's supposed to the, ow. I know.

It's horrible. My father's one comment after one play was. Your kiss was too loud. Oh, my God. Yeah. It was too wet for him. Yeah. Thank you, Kate.

Sounds like a wet kiss. So did you then start kissing the person differently after that note from your father? I think it was a one or two evening play performance. Thank God. That was it. I did not invite him again. Yeah, I do remember there were a few times, maybe two times where, you know, when the Giants would play somewhere else on the team playing, there would always be a movie playing. I think now it's probably different because there's anyone, you can choose whatever you want to watch.

But at the time, it was only one movie playing on the whole plane. So everyone was watching whatever that was. And a couple times it was a movie that I was in. That's hard. Nowhere to run. Brutal. I mean, luckily, I wasn't on the plane, but my poor father and brothers. Yeah, yeah, I definitely got a lot of crap for those moments.

When did you first notice walking on the street, people would go, oh, hey. You know, I don't get that a lot. People don't recognize me a lot. Or when they think they do, they think I'm somebody else, which is funny. I think it's easier for women because you will have a totally different hair color for a part. Also, you're so tall as well. You can't, I'm so little. And I have a recognizable ball spot where people.

That's literally, I know this for a fact. People have walked by and you can hear because everyone thinks celebrities are death. That's so true. Yeah, I think that's him. And then I walk past them so I know they're looking at the back of me and go, yep, that's him. Oh, my gosh. Wow. Thanks.

That's funny. So fame or celebrity? Come on. It must have, you must have to live with it in some fashion. Really not often. Really, no, not often at all. Again, I do, I do credit my height for it. I think I just sort of like, yeah, also I have a bunch of kids. It's like, no one's really, although I swear I get stopped more for my children because they have, two of my kids have this really bright orange hair. And so more people are stopping me to go, oh my gosh, your kid's hair is so. And then they'll kind of go, oh, okay, you kind of, did I go? They always think I went to high school with them. Yeah. that's usually what ends up happening.

But no, I really don't get recognized for much. That's kind of cool, yes? Great, it's great. It makes me feel like a chameleon, you know. I'm like, oh, maybe it's because I can change. Well, you are, a smidge. You know, you really are. You really are a wonderful character actor,

and that doesn't mean you're not a leading lady. It means you're... I'd rather be a character actor. Me too. Me too. I feel like I'm a tall character actor. And that's the closest I'll get us to them. you know and that's that's where the goodies are oh yeah and that's what allows you to work now

for the rest of your life yeah into whatever age you want to work because you're a character i think yeah i think i mean that's yeah that's the hope i i still feel so um like i love it so i love my job so much that it it still feels like um like not a job you know i mean with kids it does change your perspective because it takes you away from your kids a lot. But still, on the show I'm working on now, I'm just like, I feel so silly and lucky that I get to go and play. Because that's what we do. We just get to play all day and try and convince people that were these other people and that we're living in these other houses. And I just love it so much that I hope that I get to do it. I hope that I feel that way forever because I'd love to do it

forever um but only if i feel this this euphoric about it you know you will i bet but you but you're right that that would be the key i love writers i love crews i love all of it and i'm married to somebody who feels exact same way marries theme virgin as you know i didn't have to say her last name for you but um yeah humble brag yeah i'm married to an actor as well jamie bell humble brag um yeah who's a wonderful actor he's so good he's so good um yeah i can't imagine not having a partner who's not in the industry just because it's so it's such a weird job to have in so many ways um but yeah he and i are so i mean we're so different though in the way we think about it all how he's just so in his head about everything and i'm

absolutely not well that would that be true if he weren't an actor he'd still be in his head yes absolutely Yes, me too. Mary and I are so different about certain things. So you're in your head. Is she not? Well, I'm mostly into worrying about my body, but that's just because I'm like, she calls me a hypochondriac. I like to think I'm fascinated by my body.

I like that, yeah. Ake, a little pain here. I want to know what it is and why. Oh, God, that must be tiring for her. Hey, shut up, shit up. I'm going to call her after this. Yes, it is tiring. Oh, interesting.

But it's easy for her to. mock, which is part of our great choice. Right. Exactly. Yes, we do that too. Well, I make fun of him. Yeah. He doesn't make fun of me.

It's the safest thing. Yeah, it's very smart. It's the smartest thing he does. Yeah, but it's so fun. And I also, I'm just fascinated by, well, you can, I'm sure you can relate to this because because all of the parents in your sort of like pod are all actors. So for me and my husband and my sister. and her partner, and even my stepson's mother,

everybody was all actors. I did not grow up like that. I was the first actor of my family. So to me, it was such a new thing, and I had nobody to talk to about it or anything, until my sister became an actress, I didn't have anybody to talk to about it. And now for my children,

who knows if they'll even be interested in it, but it's so funny to me because everywhere they turn in my family, there are actors. They're all of their aunts and uncles. It's just they're surrounded by it. So I'm so curious to see what, you know, who will follow that brute and who won't. Charlie laughs about having grown up

because his daddy is Malcolm McDowler. I'm his stepfather and Mary, right, his mother. He's grown up. He said, looking at my parents in another room, mumbling to themselves and making gestures. Into the mirror? Yes. Into the, well, no, none of us would do something like that.

I do spend a lot of mirror time, but that's for health reasons. If you look in the mirror long enough, like I'm talking three, four hours a day, you can retard aging. Oh, is that what's happening? Yeah, because look at the mirror, and you never see yourself get a wrinkle on the spot. So that's what I'm thinking. Oh, I love that. Okay. Hot tip.

Yeah. So tell me, how do you juggle who's working when, you and Jamie? Is that a thing? I don't know how to juggle. Actually, I was in the juggling club when I was in high school, but I never learned how to juggle. That's a real story. I had a crush on my teacher who was the, he was in charge of the juggling club. I thought, oh, well, I'll go learn how to juggle and that'll make me feel good about myself.

And I'd never learned. But so that's still a mystery to me, how you juggle actually. Anything. Anything. But then also our work lives, it's so far we've just sort of gotten lucky for the most part. And we've been together for 10 years and, um, hey, congratulations. Yeah, thanks. Very cool.

Yeah, it's a long time, uh, but also not. But it, but, um, but in the 10 years we've been together and both acting here and there, we've only really had a couple incidents where we were both overlapping with work and it was tricky um and we haven't figured it out yet uh i mean mary and i are just lucky too you are you you don't because i don't for us anyway we there haven't there hasn't been a this is the rule that we can follow that works because i we're just not in that place of um we just don't know what we're going to get when and um and you trust each other creatively you're not going to take something dumb and leave the and leave the nest yeah jinks damn no not jenks

you, me, and Rooney, maybe next time you'll include me in your Werner movie, because I can do the shit. Wow. That was good. Thank you. Yeah, no, it's a constant puzzle, you know, that you're trying to work out. But I'm much less stressed about it now. Like, at the beginning of our relationship, I would worry about it more. But now is... Were you a shipboard romance?

Did you meet on a film? we uh no we met well i guess we did we met um really long time ago on a screen test for a film that neither of us got um which by the way i have the screen test nice yes and we had to kiss in it and i have the picture blown up because we didn't we didn't end up dating for i don't know maybe like 15 years or something oh you're kidding oh wow what a kiss right yeah yeah memorable um And then we did end up make, we made a movie together. We knew each other. We were friends, but not, we didn't really know each other.

And then we made the Fantastic Four movie together, which was a really interesting experience. I was rough. Not a great experience. It was a mess. Yeah, just a messy, messy experience. But we got to know each other on it. And I thought, oh, he's so great. Like, I just.

just kept, I just thought he was the best and he was single and I was trying to set him up with all these people because I thought, how, God, I've set him up with someone. He's the biggest catch. How does he not, how is he not with someone amazing? I just didn't know that I was the person I was looking for. It took me a year to figure that out. A year later, we, um, did he know was you? I don't think so, no. I think, I think we were, because we were friends for so long, that we were both just in our minds like this is the relationship but then yeah

we fell in love on the press tour of that movie because it was sort of like you know trauma bonding how do you know you fell in love who made the first who said what who went wait who blinked Jamie

Jamie did he did yeah and that was it we're like oh I guess we're getting married oh really like instantly because we knew each other forever we just thought oh right this is going to be forever Oh, how wonderful.

And here we are, a bunch of kids later. And it's the best. Yeah, it is the best. Yeah, it is. It's a lot, like I just, I feel, like I said, it's been 10 years, which for a lot of people is not a long time. You know, my parents have been married forever. Yeah. So that is a long time.

But I guess in this world, 10 years sounds like a long time. And I just, yeah, I feel, I don't feel like we've been together that long. but I also feel like we've never not been together. It's, you know. And it's divine. Yeah. Or it should be treated as such. Yeah.

I agree. It's cool. It is cool. I'm very happy for you, Kate Mara. Oh, thank you. See how I went in between? I panicked. I started saying, Mara.

Yeah, that was kind of an in-between. Maybe that's how we should say it. Mara. Yeah. Is he working now or? he just finished he just finished a show yeah so right now you shooting you shooting here right now that's nice shooting in town what a luxury i know i've spent my entire career shooting in town you're like the only person i know well tv it's hard to do in film but in tv it's like or and half hour especially

it's a nice schedule huh oh yeah yeah it's pretty great um i have not experienced it much at all in my career so it's really yeah it feels like a luxury do you ever think you could live anywhere not just in l.A.? we're moving to new york are you in like as in city no upstate upstate up near the hudson someplace or something like that yeah something like that near your family um yeah I mean, we want to, I've, I've been here 22 years, I think, now. And all of a sudden, we realized we should be near my family. And the kids should have their grandparents and all their cousins around. So we're doing it.

Yeah. I'm really excited. Really. And you can work anywhere. Yeah. It won't affect our relationship, seeing how. You've been in town and I haven't seen you for 25 years. I haven't seen you in 20 years, yeah.

We'll probably see each other more now that I'm going to move. Yeah, I'm excited about it. And we get to go to all the games now, all the Giants games. That'll be exciting. I remember when Charlie was hanging out with Rooney. I don't know how to say it. I think you can say that. Yeah, hanging out with Rooney.

And I wouldn't be following football or something like that. But then it was the Super Bowl. And we turned it on and all of a sudden I go, is that Charlie on the 50 yard line standing on the 50 yard line after we won yeah yeah and then wait a minute at the academy wards we're watching it is that charlie sitting next to brad pit he's like our he's like our zealig you know did he actually sit next to brad pit or behind somewhere next he was with runy but somewhere lucky spot yeah lucky spot um that's funny Have you seen any of his films?

You know, he's quite a third. Charlie McDowell? Yes, absolutely. He's so talented. He is talented. Yeah. And his latest film. I wish she would hire me and something.

Well, how about his mother and me first? That'll never happen, by the way. Oh, my gosh. Why not? Well, because, yeah, no. It's more fun working with people who aren't your parents. Yeah, totally. Although, I don't know.

Working with my sibling was the best co-star of my family. I can't wait to see that. Truly, yeah. It does sound. Have you seen it? I've seen like 20 minutes of it. And? I mean, it's hard for us to judge because, but we were in hysterics watching it.

It's very funny. There's a lot of, it's very funny. Well, that's huge. If you could laugh. Who knows? We might just be laughing at each other because we're like, what are we doing? Well, if you're laughing in her, you're laughing at yourself because it was identical. I was like, who do I look at her or me?

Who cares? Who are you looking at? How are you about looking at your work? Can you do that? Are you a... Yeah, I think when I, uh, when I produced, I started producing, I don't produce that much. Yes, but let us talk later about your, um, pig farm. Documentary, you have a pig farm, right? Don't you, didn't you, did you produce? I did, yeah. Okay, but we'll talk about that way. Um, I produced the series that I was in called a teacher, and it was one of my first, for, one of my first, for, one of my first, experiences in producing. And so I was watching Daily's, um, constantly. And it really just made me,

it just made it so much easier for me to look at it in a totally different way. The one time I produced something and really produced it, meaning it didn't get done if I didn't say something producing. Yeah, yeah. I mean, I have had my name appear every once in a one. I don't like having my name as a executive producer. If you haven't done something. Yeah, because then it's like, But it does make a difference because you have a vote and an interest and you should be part of the decision making. If you're not, then I don't have trouble. Yeah, what's the point? I agree.

But also, if you are really doing the job and trying to make the show work or whatever, you have to look at yourself as not yourself. Like, it takes the vanity out of it. For me, it did anyway. Run that by me again. Uh-oh. I'm not sure I can understand the take the. vanity part. You'd think with age it would get less. No. Isn't that sweet? Isn't that sweet? So brutal. Here's my process. First time I watch it, I'm in tears. Because you hate what you did so

much? I didn't even get to what I did. I hated my chin, my this, and I'm not, and fuck, I'm 77. I was pretending to be 77. I really am. Look at that. I'm 77. And then I watch it again and go, well, I'm Not that bad, you know, stifle my tears. Second time, third time, I noticed there are other actors in the scene, which is, you know, makes it way better, by the way. God, you have to watch it so many times. Yeah, no, four, because the fourth time I can see it totally for what it is. And I love it, usually.

Usually. Yeah. Hmm, wow. Why did you emphasize when I said usually about my work, you repeated usually. it sounded like you were voting like what you liked your work I mean usually

because I've seen some of it no no no I don't know why I said usually I think I was I was going do I feel that way about my own do I have to like do I usually like my work because I do watch everything even if I know it's going to be bad I kind of want to watch the stuff that's bad

even more or something? I do too. I'm full of shit. I do too want to watch everything I've done. But it's also, the thing that saves me is it's also none of my business. Yeah, totally. Because when I'm acting, I'm whoever, I'm Brando, I'm Olivia. I'm whoever, I'm joyful. I am judgmentalless. I'm having the single best time in my life. When I watch it, I'm a judgmental dick. And so I try not to, but it's also none of your business. You did your, unless you're the producer or you know or a writer or something if your job goes on then yes of course yeah otherwise it's not my thing anymore yeah jamie won't watch anything he does which i feel sad for him for that because i because he's so good yeah i'm like oh you're missing out on so many great why do you think he doesn't

because he's a tortured actor i wish i were tortured i'm so simple i don't think so um yeah no i see He's just, you know, one of those, like, brilliant actors who can't watch anything. Maybe it'll change one day, I'm hoping, for his sake, just because, yeah, I'm like, oh, you're really missing out on your, on the experience of watching this piece of art that you're in that really is moving. But, yeah, it's just fun. Again, we're just so different. Yeah, which is great. Yeah.

Mary and I are very similar in many ways and then very different than others. That whole body hypochondria thing is a mystery to me why she, I mean, seriously, if you ask her which bone is this, she has no idea. Yeah, oh, you do. Or muscle. Yes, of course. I can name your molars. No. Yeah, I do.

Wow. Okay, tell me what, tell me about this, just for a second, because I was, I guess I'm slightly, not slightly, I'm very interested right now in how people are doing with, And we don't have to get political or partisan. We certainly have to don't have to do that. But we are living in this world that is full of a lot of pain, suffering, and fear and surprise and all that stuff to me. I was going to ask you how you're doing with all of that. But then I also noticed that you had produced this documentary about pig farms. Factory farming.

Factory farming. Yeah. when was that a long time ago um no not a long time ago now i don't know if it was uh i don't know what the year was now was it like two years ago we can look that up very easily time is confusing to me but but recently oh yeah yes recently and can i ask why you picked that or and what yeah um well a friend of mine um my one of my best friends michel chow she is um um um um um my one of my best friends Michelle Cho. She is an incredible animal activist and also just activist in general. She is the reason that I've become involved in a lot of different, really all of the organizations that I've been

involved with is because of my friend Michelle, who's taught me so much about what's going on in our world and what we can do to help the environment and then as well as animals and humans and all of it. So when I met her, I don't know how many years ago, 11 years ago or so, I became really involved in different, just different things that spoke to me. At the time, it was blackfish, so the documentary Blackfish had come out. I don't know if you saw that. It was about SeaWorld. Yeah. Yeah. That really moved me and I wanted to be a part of helping get that. story out there so that people like me who had been to SeaWorld, you know, I'd been to SeaWorld as a child and thought it was amazing. And I think I did all the things. I swam with

dolphins and, you know, wherever that was, thinking that was okay as well. And, um, and then once I learned about all of the things that are, uh, true and the reality of the situation there, um, I just wanted to get to spread that word, to spread the word and, um, and just make people a aware of what our actions are actually doing and how it affects so many other things. So that's when it sort of started. I met the director of The Smell of Money through my friend Michelle, and he just sort of, he sent it to me just as a friend. He said, I'm making this documentary.

I'm curious what your thoughts are, your notes. You know, I'm just trying to, whatever, edit it. And I was just so blown away by it and the fact that human beings... It is stunning what happened. I mean, the fact that human beings are actually having to live next to these factory farms in their homes that they've owned forever and there's nothing they can do about it and they're getting sick and dying. And again, there's nothing that they can do about. I just was so horrified by it. And so I told him I'd love to help in whatever.

way that I could, whatever that means. And so, um, so that's why I, I chose to be a part of it. I just, I was kind of like, it was impossible to ignore after I saw it and I could not stop thinking about it. And, um, I think that was pre-COVID when I saw it for the first time. Um, so it was a while, it feels like a while ago. But then eventually the film did, we did, it did come out. And, um, and a lot of people have seen it. And it has, I think, um, affected a lot of people. And again, I still, I just think using your voice for, for anything that you can that is meaningful to you, that especially I think things like this where people just are unaware of where their food comes from. I'm, I'm vegan, but I'm not saying everybody has to be vegan, nor do I judge people for

eating meat. And, you know, everyone has different beliefs and different lifestyles. And I mean, my husband was not vegan for quite some time. Right now, he's, he mostly is. But again, like, I don't judge that. I just think it's really important for all of us to know where we're putting our money and how it's affecting our neighbors and our animals and our environment. I grew up in Arizona and, you know, the history of Arizona is if somebody was poisoning your source of water upstream from you, they would come after you. They would try to kill you to stop doing that, the old West kind of way. And you are.

We now poison people downstream without even thinking about it and poison the air, you know, upwind or downwind from people and don't even think about it. And that's what you're, besides the inhumanity of how you treat the animals. I mean, they're packed in. so they're not even packed in tightly there you can't see any space in between these animals no no and again like for me the animal aspect of it is uh enough like when i was learning about all these these um when i was learning about these facts that that to me was enough to go like well why would i ever eat that again or support that system again but not everybody feels that way or

maybe connects that quickly, but there is a list of things that maybe you would connect with. You can support, you know, that money should not trump people's lives, literally, that they should be ill because they can't afford to move away from something that was put in front of you. Yeah. Good for you. I think as actors, we do have a role to play. Even if you're not an expert, you don't have to claim to be the expert. You can claim that this is something. I'm learning about and I care about. Take a look at it and make up your own mind. Well, we're, I mean, I hate it when people say, like, we're storytellers because it sounds

like, I don't know, it sounds cheesy or something. But sharing stories is part of our jobs. It's part of our livelihood. And that is what, what that is, being involved in a film like a documentary like that. To me, it is. It's just, can we share this? This is what's happening to human beings a couple hours away. Can we share it so that. but, you know, they're not alone and that maybe we can find a way to end it. And you're not telling people how to believe. You're telling people you should take a look at this.

I think you'll care about it kind of thing. I can't thank you enough for coming. Oh, my gosh, it's so my pleasure. This feels like, oh, great, we got to catch up a little bit. Not that we, you know, hung out. But because of that experience of you rehearsing that show at our house, I followed you and it's like

Kate Oh God, do you scream every time I do Kate, put your clothes back on No, I can't watch I can't watch Yeah, you guys are family

forever That'll be that for me Really appreciate it You didn't even drink your watermelon juice I know, it's too fascinating That was too fascinating catching up with Kate. It felt like a little bit like a family reunion.

That's our show for this week. Special thanks to all our friends at Team Coco. If you enjoyed this episode, send it to someone you love. Subscribe on your favorite podcast app and give us a nice review on Apple Podcasts, if you're in the mood. If you like watching your podcasts, all our full-length episodes are on YouTube. Visit YouTube.com slash Team Coco. See you next time. where everybody knows their name.

You've been listening to Where Everybody Knows Your Name with Ted Danson and Woody Harrelson sometimes. The show is produced by me, Nick Leow, our executive producers are Adam Sacks, Jeff Ross, and myself. Sarah Federovich is our supervising producer, Engineering and Mixing by Joanna Samuel with support from Eduardo Perez. Research by Alyssa Grail. Booking by Paula Davis and Jeanne Boutista. Our theme music is by Woody Harrelson, Anthony Genn, Mary Steenbergin, and John Osborne.