Where Everybody Knows Your Name with Ted Danson and Woody Harrelson (sometimes) - Kathryn Hahn

Episode Date: October 8, 2025

The Emmy-nominated Kathryn Hahn (The Studio, Wanda Vision, Transparent) talks to Ted about why she didn’t expect a career in comedy, her early years doing theater in Cleveland, spirituality, her view of the end of life, retirement goals, and more! Like watching your podcasts?  Visit https://www.youtube.com/teamcoco to see full episodes.  Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Pancake makeup. No, you're too young for pancake. Oh, no, I did. Really? You should have seen my old age makeup. It was fantastic. Yes. Fantastic.

Welcome back to where everybody knows your name. Boy, everyone in the office this morning is very excited for our guest, Catherine Hahn. You know her from Wanda Vision, Agatha all along, Mrs. Fletcher, stepbrothers, and so many more amazing roles. Catherine currently plays Maya Mason in the critically acclaimed series, The Studio, which earned her an Emmy nomination for outstanding supporting actress in a comedy series.

The first season of the studio is streaming now on Apple TV Plus. Here she is, Catherine Hahn. I hate, even though I can be full of pretense all the time. In a podcast, I just can't bear it. Okay. So full disclosure. Sure. No, I was looking for the joke. I was looking for the joke. Sorry. That's what happens to me. The Catholic school girl in me. I was like, okay, what am I? I'm going to screw it up. Mary will watch my face go blank. And at first she's worried, then he goes, oh, no, he's looking for a

joke. All right. This will take a while. It's a strange interlude. I have a lot of those. I saw the studio. Oh. Magnificent. You head me and we'll talk about stepbrothers. I was just knocked out by stepbrothers. Oh, God. Oh, my, your amazing wife in that film.

Yeah. Forget it. Well, let's just start there. Yeah. The scene with John C. Riley as you come out the door and you confess your, was just knocked me out. Okay. So funny.

So sexy. So like a million miles an hour, bold. Oh. I was just holding on by the same. seat of my pants. I was terrified. Terrified, terrified. Because of Adam McKay. Yes. Will and John C. Riley. Like, I had never really done. I had a very bit part in Anchorman. But I certainly didn't come up in the comedy world. Like, I never did sketch. I never, um, did improm classes. I just, I was like a, you know, a theater actor. And then I was always kind of class clown, I guess, but I never, that was, I never need, I never thought that I need, I never wanted to audition for SNL. Like, that's,

just wasn't my thing. Like, that just didn't, like, I guess, like, move me. But I really wanted to do, like, non-paying off, off, off, off, off-off-off-Broadway place. And you didn't. Look at you now. Oh, you did. Oh, yes, I did. Yes, yes, yes. Right. But Adam McKay was kind of the epitome. If I understand, yeah, first off, I hate going to visit sets that I'm not part of. It's fun. Yes. I love to see my wife, Mary. Yes. But truthfully, if you don't have a job on a set, it's mostly kind of boring.

Yes. And you feel a little like. Yeah. But not. No. Not Step Brothers. They had sofas pulled around video village so people could come and sit for two hours. Stop it.

And watch it because you do the text as written. Yes. And maybe in the morning. Yeah. And then you would come back and he would shout things over a microphone. phones for you to say. Which were always incredible, incredible things. Yeah.

So you do improvise. Well, I can improvise, Ted, if it's like a character that I know, like, if I know the Givens, if I'm like, kind of, you know, I just couldn't be like, oh, my glasses. Yeah. Nailed it. You did. That was very good. Are you sure?

I want to continue with a scene. But, yeah, definitely it's only if I have, like, if I, like, feel secure enough in who I'm playing. Otherwise, it is panic attack. Like, it's a very difficult to just, there's such incredible improvisers that can just like relax and just like let it completely flow through them. And it's such a beautiful flow state to watch that.

Like, Farrell is like, oh. Yeah. You just feel like you're watching something like, sacred. Like, you just cannot believe how easy it just flows out. Yeah. So, yeah, that was a huge learning experience for me to be able to have the allowance to go there

and, like, have so much, like, safety with John that we just, that scene was just, like, rolled, like, so fun. The kiss. Just the kiss alone was hysterical. It was almost never quite consummated. The lips were just kind of all over and close. For a long time. Way too long.

Yeah, that was, I do remember, like, ending that take. I think that was, like, a far into it. too. Like I think we had done a bunch of different versions. And McKay would guide us down the most trippy avenues. Like we were in that bathroom scene and there was a moment we were like really like in gross detail planning Adam Scott's character's death. Like so graphic. Like and it went on for so long. And I love that we were able to do that. I mean, it was just, it was a blast. Like by the time I got over my like, oh, but you know, I'll say Mary was awesome on that set because, you know, she didn't come from, as far as I know, like that kind of a world. And so the fact that she was

so comfortable and so game and so supportive and just so psych to be there and see what was made, I mean, it was very comforting to be in scenes with her. Yeah. Because she didn't push anything. She sent her in love, by the way. Oh, please send her my love back. Yeah, one of the best humans. She and Richard Jenkins, after the first day and a half of watching John and Will improvised, they'd look at each other and go, what are we doing here? And then they, but then they realize, oh, wait a minute, we are here to make it believable. That believable, yeah.

They're the kind of allow the audience into this insanity. Yes, they were like the anchors for sure. It allowed it like. Mary was so grounding like that you couldn't have done it without that like without her I want her to be my mom like she was so

my kid just went to college like last weekend so I'm a disaster artist but yeah anyway that was a really thinking about her and her like parenthood and like she must have just been an incredible parent herself

I can only imagine. She was. Yeah. Yeah and is a great grandmother. Oh I'm excited for that. Yeah. Yeah. No, everybody, whenever you say how excited you are about your grandchildren and people, didn't you love your children?

Yes, with all my heart. Yes. But this is different. No, it's different. It's a big different thing. I got some time to wait for that, but I'm very excited for it. Where is your son going to school? Can you say it without embarrassing him?

I think he would be so, he's on East Coast. Okay, that'll do. Yeah. That'll do. But he certainly can't see any of my movies from that particular chapter. He would be devastatingly embarrassed. embarrassed, but not inappropriate, it's not inappropriate for him to see that kind of movie just because it's your mom. No, he can see that movie. I'm sure he's seen far worse, but he just, the thought of his mom in a movie like that or some of the other things I've done is understandably a nightmare.

So I wouldn't want that either. That would not be fun. But the first time I showed it to them, my husband and I fast forwarded so much of it that I think they saw a 17-minute movie. Yeah, that's how my mother watched Body Heat. Oh, I'm sure. She literally had her hand because I wasn't with her, but people told me she had her hand in front of her eyes the entire time. No, I'm sure. Oh, exactly. Mary did a film Melvin and Howard. Thank you, Melvin and Howard.

And she won Academy Award for that. God damn, Catherine. Yeah. Okay, amazing. And she has a scene because she's a dancer in this bar where she is buck naked, full front. Yeah. Bucknaked. and it's brilliant and it's wonderful.

I just got a whole bunch of people to go rent this now. Yeah, please. Me. Charlie, her son, when 15 maybe, and he and his buddies are just a Friday night bored flipping around. He goes out to get a sandwich and comes back into the room. His friend had innocently landed on that scene. Oh, gosh. But he clicked on it and Charlie walked back.

back in and just reamed him. He was so angry. That's my mom. What are you doing? I've told this, but he said there was definitely a party early, fresh, like early high school years where he walked in. There's a bunch of people around the TV watching it, and he just walked out. Like he goes like, this is not the party for me. Yeah, no. But I mean, there's a bunch of stuff, you know, whatever. He's been able to really healthily separate from, my job, like completely. Like, we love an Airbnb. We love, like, the four of us on a road trip.

It's like... Separate or just bored. I'm sure both. Our kids are bored. Yeah, I think bored. The only way we get kids back then... Craft service. Well, actually, you know, we're working with so-and-so.

Oh, my God. So-and-so? Yeah. Otherwise. Otherwise, forget it. Yeah, no, my daughter love craft service, and she loves a trailer. Like, could hang out in a trailer, like, loves it. Like, turning on the TV and the fake fire.

and, like, she just is, like, all spread out, does her homework. You get a fireplace in your truck? A real, live burning wood fireplace. Did you take kids? Did you, did your husband? And did you all pack up and go to whatever location? Yes, we did for the, like, manically, I did it for the first, until they were kind of ensconced in school. And it was like, you know, would be selfish.

Yeah, exactly. But, yeah, I, it was really difficult for me not. to be there every night. And, you know, I'm sure Mary, every, it's a, it's horrible being a mother and an actor. It is. Yeah, I mean, yes, any working mom, I'd say the same thing. It's just like any anyone that feels like, I mean, that, you know, that I cried when his umbilical cord fell off. So it was like a really difficult thing to be like, no, that he was, you know, and then when I started working across the country and like he got his driver's license, I was in Atlanta and I was like, I can't do the life 360 because I don't want to be checking how fast he's going.

But, yeah, it was either my husband would come with them or, you know, someone, a helper, like a, you know, a friend of a friend. You're always in the wrong place as a mother who loves their job. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, because I love it. Like, but Ted, it was so interesting this last year, the last year that my son was at home. I love the way you say, Ted, as a very quick aside in the middle of your point.

It sounds very political. I feel like I've heard it somewhere before. Like, don't politicians do that to be like, I'm connecting with you. That's what I feel like it's happening. Well, you did connect. Am I polling at Obama? I feel like I was like, Ted. Like, it's very, it really is.

Sorry, I interrupted. Oh, but it's so. That was me improvising. No, but that's so true. It's a real politician thing. Ted, let me tell you something. And I'm listening. Okay.

And I believe it. Keeping connected. I interrupted you away from your point completely. I can't remember what it was. I really can't. Welcome to my world. I know. Let's move on because I can't remember anything.

What's it about? Come on. We can do this. Oh, yes, I know it. My last, my last year as a mother at home with my son, his senior year, happened to be the year that I just was like, I'm not working. And ironically, it was the year that he was not home at all. Like, he just wanted nothing to do with us. So I was happy to be just in evidence.

You know what I mean? Like, just be there when he got, oh, or whatever, hang out. But it was like, the irony was pretty, it was like, you know, it was so bittersweet. And just, you know, it's the year of last, I felt like. It was like, but to me it was like, last President's Day. Like, it was like every single thing that went. by and trying to keep it from him. Like, it's not, you know, he doesn't need to take any of that on.

We're excited for him. Like, all I want to do is cheerily this incredible next chapter of him. I'm so proud of him. And it's a big, it's a big one for all of us, though. I didn't quite realize, Ted. I'm going to do that when any feeling comes. Okay, good. I'm so excited.

I'm so cold. Whenever feeling comes, I'll just be like, Ted. See, I forgot it again. By the way, last time you left, you had a little snort at the end, and it was really cool. Is it cool? Yes. She's 52. It was cool.

No, no. Very cool. Okay. And I'm 77. My God, we're doing freaking great. Yeah, thank you. Every day. Yeah, we're doing freaking great.

But I forgot. Let's move him. I listened to you and Dak Shepard. Oh, yeah. And you guys are so fast that I literally. had to put it on, you know, slow motion so I could, oh, yeah, oh yeah, okay. Yeah, I think there's a lot of caffeine. Yes. Yeah. There was a lot of caffeine. Not a lot of like sticking to something. We kept like barreling through. Definitely, for sure. I love that person.

Can I say private life? Private lives, private life. Private life. So good. That's what. I love when people who are so intrinsically funny like you. And my image of you is like a downhill mogul racer. To pull off what you do, you just have to go fuck it and stick your, you know, ski over the tips of your skis. And, you know, and it's just so remarkable, so quick, so nimble. But then when you do something like private life,

It's like the threat of how funny you are. And you're not being funny in those moments. I think this makes it so rich. I love that. I love that movie. Yeah. Paul is pretty remarkable. Paul is remarkable.

And like I just felt instantly like we were, weirdly, just felt very fraternal, like, very from the beginning. It just felt like we've just been, we had just been family for years. And Tamara Jenkins, who wrote and directed. directed it is like, I mean, this is only her third film. And the, she only will say something when she needs to say it. And this was so personal to her. While directing you mean, while you're writing it. So like in terms of, yeah, no, in terms of writing something, she'll only write it if like that is something that needs to be said by her. So the way that she directed this was like I, when I saw for the first time, it was like, every,

little pixel on the screen was so investigated by her. Like, she took such care of, of every single detail. Like, I remember there was, like, we were, like, pulling espresso, and she wanted to get the sounds so clearly so that the audience could maybe even, like, smell it if they wanted to be. Yeah. She, it was, yeah, that was one of the, my favorite experiences. And that part is

Both of their parts It's just so heartbreaking It's like achy Because it was like you said It wasn't like didn't tip over And it was very important for her Not to tip to you know Any sort of like

Like weepie Modlin or whatever Like we wanted to keep it in this like Which is my favorite tone Like isn't it the best Yeah What do you love about it? Like what

I'm for me, it's like, this is not what you're saying, but I did a half hour so long that is three to four jokes, a page kind of is the stereotype. But to me, it scares a shit out of me now because it's like doing a music, it's, it's music. There's a beat. Yes. And you don't have the ability to be indulgent in any way because you've got to keep the beat. And so when I do something bored to death was that way for me, where it was funny.

Mike Shore is that way for me. Mike Sure writes that kind of stuff. Yeah, he's so brilliant. If you can be reflecting, not just funny, but reflecting human condition. Yeah. And that has a little hope in it. And that to me is my favorite thing. And I feel like I've gotten to the age now.

I found Mike Shore. I mean, you know him. Oh, my gosh. I found them and I could work with them forever because I feel like that's what I'm supposed to be doing, including this, you know, loving on people and saying, wow, thank you for being so creative is kind of my job now. I mean, on curiosity. Yes.

That's what I really, really appreciate that. That's in your work, by the way. You are always curious. Oh, yeah. Pretty cool. I mean, I'm sure you would say the same thing. It's so unconscious. like a show like the studio you feel like it's like you're playing us you have a specific note

in that band like you know in that like musical like you've got like for it to like you said like for the for it to flow you have to like hit a very specific sound um otherwise it just it doesn't feel especially with good writing like you know you have with mike and these guys Seth and Evan and this writing staff is like what don't need to ever kind of go outside of it. B, it would be embarrassing if you did because they'd have to start it all over from the beginning.

You had your, you know, dumb improv slotted in there. Our camera operator was like certainly one of the cast because he knew exactly where to go. And that was the hardest. He was editing as we were doing it. So, what's different than stepbrothers where it's like, you know,

still. And you're able to just kind of throw out alts in the middle of a scene, that's also very technical because you're not like constantly connected with the person that you're doing the scene with. So all of it's so freaking fun.

It's more of an editor's movie. Yes, for sure. And private life felt that way also. But and she was like, you know, same note. It was like it was definitely like faster so that we wouldn't like sink at all.

And that was a great challenge because it's very easy to sink. And faster, It usually is better. Turns out faster is better. I mean, if you've got it loaded. Listen to my podcast with Dax. Yes.

There's a lot of nicotine in that too. I feel like maybe there, yes. A lot of speed of natural. All of a sudden I was like, well, but it was so, it was so fast that the button on my pants kept on popping. I was like, we couldn't. It was just nuts, so fast. I sat with him and Kristen Bell up in Alaska and John Chris, Godess. Oh, goddess.

John, who's also the fastest brain. Oh, yeah. Oh, intimidating. 100%. Yeah. Very intimidating. And a sweetie. Yes.

Yeah. Her, like, compass is just due north. Yep. You know, like, it's always, it's really, really inspirational. About life, about contributions, about charity, about giving back, about getting home to. Yeah. Yeah. God help you if you kept fucking up during the good place or I was a little lazy about learning my lines that day.

She adored me. Oh, yeah, clearly. And she's demonstratively adores me. And if I started to fuck up, she'd nail me with a look. And it was like, if you keep me from my dinner with my children, I don't care who you will, I will rip you a new one. Good for her. I mean, that's terrifying. Yeah.

That was like, yeah, that's she, when we did, because we did bad moms, all the bad mom stuff. And she was a very young mom. That's right. She was very, very young. So was Mila. My kids were a little bit older. We stayed in a legitimately haunted house in New Orleans while we were shooting, which was so fun. But it was such a pleasure watching, getting in a triangle with the two of them.

But really, like, sometimes you know, you never know. And it was like, it just was like. Yeah, they're all, they're all, you all, you all, three of you are very cool ladies. Cleveland Heights. Yes. Ohio. Is that part of Cleveland? Forgive my ignorance.

Yes. It's Cleveland Heights. Rich part of Cleveland? No. Hikes usually means rich. You're right. The heights in this case, I would say, was minimal. And the west side was definitely considered the more wealthy side.

Huge lawns, you know what I mean? Like a lot of sprinklers. I remember the trick-or-treating over there was much better than the trick-or-treating in my neighborhood. But it was like, you know, one of those neighborhoods where, you know, we walked to school to St. Anne's, like, over on Christmas, they had the little like voterie. like lining the street, go to, you know, mass. Like, trick-or-treating was so rad.

So, yeah, it was a real, a sweet, sweet neighborhood, for sure. Just a parentheses, because I want to keep going on this. But if I had a little video of that six, seven, eight-year-old, would I go, yep, yep, that's Catherine Hahn. Yes, yes. That was, you were there. She was there, but maybe she was very shy. but she definitely had a uniform on that her mom got thinking that she would grow seven dress sizes

by the time that she graduated. So one could pull it off from the top, which was fun. I had to wear shorts. Yeah. I had, you had to wear saddle shoes. This is Catholic school now? Yes, yes. Which was from age.

From kindergarten to high school. Oh, wow. Same one. No. No. It went from Coed Elementary to a single-sex high school. Which explains a lot, Catherine. But go on, because I went to a single-sex Episcopal school in Connecticut.

Yeah. Anyway. Okay. Tricky. I had saddle shoes that looks like Bozo the Cloud. Like, they were so big on me. Again, because I think she thought I was going to go from a six to like an 11 and a half. so yes that was me a lot of like yeah that was a you know messy messy Kathy for sure but you

already I read new yeah something something here with entertaining or acting or performing what was that well you know I was the oldest I have two brothers in at St. Anne's they had like you know stuff to do at mass so I oh my shirt's not backwards anyway detail Wow. Anyway, tangents. It's fine. It's very fetching. Probably a smidge inching.

I'm a mock turtle on the front. Not expected. Okay. I thought I was like, oh, is she getting a rash? Okay, I'm glad to know. Catholic school. So my parents, I think, you know, was the- If you had that old uniform, you could just turn it around without even getting out of it.

That's why I'm real good at a quick change. I really know how to do it. But Catholic school, we went there because it was the cheapest private education. And Catholic school was like a, you know, it's just our families, you know, what it was for generations. And my, I loved going to a, I really did like kind of going to high school, a single sex high school because. They're advantages. Well, especially for a young woman, human. to be able to, like, raise her hand.

And it was actually cool to be smart. Yeah. Instead of trying to, like, hide yourself with the boys around. How awful. Yeah. And I liked a uniform because it kind of, there was an equality. Like, I didn't have to kind of keep up with everybody. And so I actually kind of didn't mind it.

I had some really, I had a couple of really radical nuns that were incredibly intellectual that I had deep empathy for. because of probably the reasons that they became nuns at a time where there are very little options, but very intellectual. Did you pick that up, intuitive it, or did they put it out? Yeah. So it may or may not be true. Right.

But that kind of was my feeling. They were very moving. Moving. And also into the theater. And so to get back to like what we have been talking about, like I felt that I could almost be more myself or, like, tell the truth easier when I was saying someone else's lines. It felt safe to me to be on stage. It felt like I had like an autonomy over like the arc, like as soon as that started, that was mine and the people I were like working with.

And it felt so much better than kind of like, you know, hunching my way. through grade school. I'm being afraid to raise my hand then. And I felt an instant kind of gratification from it. I was a, I did something at St. Anne's, uh, Salty the Psalm Book, okay, with a P.S. And then I went right to the Cleveland Playhouse, which was like our big deal, by the way, Cleveland Playhouse is one of the important theaters. I mean, regional theaters. Yeah. Well, Newman, a lot of human beings. But of course, it's one of those that had to lose their space. Funding is being, you know, stripped away.

Let's talk about that in a little while. Yeah. So, I mean, they're not even where they had been, but I grew up in these little black box theaters, like, with those ghost lamps and, like, watching these regional theater actors that would just do a gazillion different plays, like, and they all played different parts in it.

And I was literally, they had literally something called a curtain puller. And I was actually, I was not able to do that by the time they got there, but we were definitely invested, you know, where we did classes was an old department store that had just folded. And so, like, I remember being dropped off on Saturday mornings, seeing that there was like a huge dark department store with like dummies and like old racks. And it was so terrifying. And we could go like explore. And then there was a what are those machines called where you could like put quarters in and get stuff? Like an automat kind of thing?

Yeah, but it was like a small thing. Oh, God, you guys know. Slot machine, I think it's Vegas. No, but you can get things. It would be like this. You'd put like C5 and then it would be like Snickers bars. Yeah, vending machine. Thank you.

So I would get a big old Snickers and a Pepsi and just like hang out with the actors. And it was like magic. magic. I never wanted to do anything else. It was like, Ted. Ted. I got a Ted and a snort. A Ted and a snort. Ted. Ted. It was like I wasn't, I wasn't, it was like I didn't make a decision. I'm sure. I don't, I wonder like, I feel like a lot of factors to see this. It was like, I didn't, it was just all of a sudden, that's who I was. Like, there was no, um, I didn't know what it would look like. I certainly didn't know what, how it would happen. But I just, just was it. That was just it. I had the same thing. It really is running away to the circus.

It's running to the circus. It feels like reckless and safe and it's like chosen family. And I just loved, loved the feeling like of being backstage and all having your Bob Mackey makeup or whatever that like thick stuff was. And you know what I mean? Pancake. Pancake makeup. No, you're too young for pancake. Oh, no, I did. Really? You should have seen my old. old age makeup, it was fantastic. Although I switched the highlight and the low light, so it was like a skeleton. I look like Skeletor. It's so funny, I used to practice old age workup.

Now I'm going, fuck. See, I go around, I go around pretending that. Fantastic. What if you just wore pancake old age makeup? That's kind of how I feel. It's so funny. I feel like I'm going to. along with the, you know, even when I say I'm 77, it's like, I'm going along with this,

not really, sure, it's false humility. And then I look at myself on screen and it's like, oh, fuck, I'm 77. I cannot, I've never been able to watch a monitor. Like, I can't do it. No. I can watch the thing. But I can, every time it's like, oh, I can't, I can't. Because I just immediately know I'll be thinking about the wrong thing. You'll be judged, I judge myself. Me too. When I'm not looking at myself, I'm, I'm fucking Brando, Olivia, whatever.

Sure. I'm a, I love it. Me too. Yes, wonderful. Me too. Like if someone needs to move where I, you know, move me or tell me like something technical, I'm great, but it goes away. And all of a sudden there is like, you're with the person, you're like in the best place

ever, like you're, you know, the, I mean, that's my favorites. Like when they say action, it's like, right before action is that. little like like moment is my favorite and then all of a sudden there's like I hate that feeling I hate that feeling with lines too so any scars from Catholic schools I didn't have scars from from the from the Episcopal yeah you didn't no it's a watered down yeah yeah yeah yeah did you have to wear uniforms uh in that it was a khakis or something and a sport coat and tie Yeah, every day. Okay.

Chappell every morning, 637. Church, Sunday, you know, full high mass, incense, the whole deal. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That smell I miss. Yeah, that boy, isn't it funny how smells take you instantly back? Instantly.

Instantly. Instantly, I smell it and I'm waiting in line to go into the confessional. And we didn't do that. You didn't do that. This was like us waiting. It was like, you can hear everything. right there. I was like, oh, it was kind of like, oh, everyone was like, I remember sitting there and everything. I don't know. I blessed me, father. I said, you know, shit, five times in the last, like, I made stuff up that you knew it was just barely bad, but okay. Yeah. I mean, I didn't have like that much bad stuff until like high school. Yeah. But, and then we didn't have to do it. But in elementary school, it was like, I don't know. I mean, I don't know. Like, get me out of here. It was just so hot and annoying. We had to be quiet. And you could kind of see them through the grade. And I was like, I just talked. to you. Like, there's no reason to have, like, this fake, like, you know, mesh thing between

us because, like, hello, father, you know. All of these are none of my business questions. Are your kids? Have they been exposed to church? My husband is Jewish, and so they both were bar and bought mitzvahed. I, I kind, like, but we're kind of, um, uh, we're kind of like both just open to what they are, uh, what grabs them. And so, like, they really, they really, really, it was a very progressive bar and but mitzvah. But they took a lot out of it. There was definitely a service aspect that they had to complete by the end. And that is kind of, I loved it as a rite of passage for them. Sure. Into teenagehood, like, their family was able to come. We did it in our living room. Like, it was, that was pretty great. But, and we belong to a

pretty, you know, radical temple that doesn't actually have like a, like a, like a, space it kind of like borrows spaces like so it'll be an episcopal in church actually or it'll be like at a rec center or it doesn't i don't have to go we don't go all the time but it's always nourishing when it's one thing i think mary and i maybe both have the same minor regret because our kids are magnificent i hear you that i hear is that we didn't expose them i was to church or a faith right i mean they get faith is different than church i think yeah i feel like spirituality is like the next frontier certainly for myself like i'm like okay now it's about um spirituality it kind of had been like like racy racy racy for a while yeah and now it feels like especially like this next chapter after

kids going and i similarly have like a little regret that we didn't have like a either like a Sunday roast or like a Shabbat dinner every week, like something like... Community. Community that was like, no matter what's going on, like you have to show up. I know. And like I really, that's something I definitely do regret. But they're both like my son more than my daughter, but she's, they're both, no, I'm going to say my daughter too. They're both very, it's like curious people, spiritual people.

So even though we don't have like a, you know, a regular, like no one would say they're Catholic or they're Jewish, I love that they're exposed to both and all, like all of it. Like, you know, they went to church when we would go home to Cleveland and like we'd go to like the Cleveland, the Christmas Eve Mass, which was always so fun. I'd do that with my mom because it meant so much to her. It meant so much, yeah. And so it meant same to me, but on my own, I didn't pretty much. After high school. But do you ever go when you travel and you see a church or like a, yeah, but only to say hi to mom. Oh, gosh. That's so clearly. I remember sitting there, my father, what is, I don't know even how many, sorry, 15 to 20 years ago, my mom and my father, I think, passed away.

But my dad is forever present. Or we're going to a different conversation. until recently. Can we go there? Please, I want to go there. You're the most amazing actor. No, I want to go to where you're talking. Can I put a pin in that?

Because you are. You're spectacular and I love watching you. Oh, Ted. This is. But I also loved reading the other stuff that you were talking about how you manage your dreams. You know, you did. You said that sometimes, please, sorry, forgive me. I think I have a quote from you that said that I like going into my dreams.

and giving my dreams a purpose. Oh, yeah, I do. I really do. Yeah. Especially of like sleep is elusive. If I ask a question or if like there's something weggly about a part, something happens, you know, whatever, whatever dream. No matter what it is, you can't help let have something, something is going to connect.

You don't have to write it down. You have to do anything, but there's something connects in it. And if you're purposeful about it, it does. Yeah, yeah, exactly, exactly. Yeah. It helps with sleep. There's this wonderful. I don't know what tribe and what continent

that when their kids would wake up with a nightmare, this would be someplace in Africa. I can't remember where it was. But the kid was crying because a lion was chasing him. It was about to eat them. And they comforted them and said, okay, so tomorrow night when you have this dream, you turn around to that lion and you tell that, you know,

and empowers the child within the dream to go, nope. and that that to me is like life it is it's not like oh sweet dream thing for a little kid it's about you are you do manifest your life you are not a victim you are your thoughts yeah yeah yeah I was reading this well two things my friend who I mean I know we all know people that lost everything in these fires and my friends did in Altadena and she said when she would first fall asleep after it she would go into her home oh You know, like, of course. Like, that was just where she was.

Like, she would just be walking around her house. And at a certain point, to your point, she would have to put up a do not enter sign on her front door. Like, she had to, like, think of that so that she would not go inside. Because otherwise, she kept remembering and remembering and remember, she couldn't sleep at all. And so I just, that's so moving to me that she was able to manifest. Yeah. Like a protection, a protection shield for herself. But I'm so with you.

I mean, I love, I just read, it's going to sound like, but I just read this book called It's Pema Shadron. Have you read How We Live is How We Die? No. Oh, but I love the title. It's basically how we approach change, how we, every single, like, day that we live is like, and how we are not our thoughts and how, like, much suffering, we, you know, all that, but it's an incredible, incredible, very, anyway, it's one of those books here. Like, I had to read it again a few times because it is so true. Just makes so much sense. I just like, of course.

I used to, I would explore different spiritual thoughts or philosophies or whatever. throughout my life and not like as a student, but as a curious person. And I remember when my mother was passing away, I would take the night shift because my sister needed her sleep and she'd do the days. And this was after my mom had stopped really being there. You know, there was two weeks. First week was like, just glorious. We just all celebrated her life together with her. And then the last two or three days she wasn't really present but her body was still and i remember thinking all of my spiritual philosophical thoughts went flying out the window and i was left with i don't know yeah yeah she might or she's about to she's about to but i i have no idea and it simplified my life my life

became try to be in the moment and do the right thing and you do know what the right thing is. Yes, we do. And it simplified my life and stay curious. Now it's 77 because you are bumping into a lot of stuff. It could be fearful or uncomfortable or challenging or whatever. Stay curious. I remember hearing, sorry, I'm rambling.

I remember somebody, Jeff Bridges had cancer a while ago and I think it's okay to say. he's talked about it but I asked his brother oh how how's Jeff you know and he said well he's Jeff he goes wow what is this going to be like oh I'm so curious oh my god to discover what this cancer can be like look at me I get and that attitude of staying curious yeah yeah is pretty much I think uh yeah that's just way to go that's definitely like this seems like the superpower is like also just keeps a point outside yourself. Yeah. You know what I mean?

It just doesn't just keep, you keep like getting outside oneself. Like that's what I'm realizing the older I get is like, okay, just be outside. Like find a point over there, whatever it means and just like, put my focus there. Which is what good acting is too, by the way. You know, really? Pay attention to your partner. Yeah. No, it's true.

Listening, listening, listening, listening with every single like. part of you for sure how do you guys relate do you have we don't we live completely separate lives yeah that's that's how we've done it for 30 years does he know where you're living now or no sometimes he'll get like a piece of mail and he'll know kind of where i've been no we um yeah we've i mean it's you know it's a freaking journey 30 years is a long time you fight for it every day you have to fight for it we have to go especially since like one of two kids is now like from Intents and Purposes, you know, he's launched, we're like, wow, okay, looking at each other, like, we got to invest in this. Like, this is the time now to, like, go on some weekend trips and,

like, you know, rediscover ourselves and make sure, like, that we're okay for when she goes in two years because we don't want to just look at each other and be like, I don't know. Empty house syndrome is overblown. It is. We loved it. You loved it. I love hearing this. If you do it, if you do it, they're coming back. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, they never go away. No, come on. Yeah, no, exactly. Like, my friend was like, you are going to do his laundry in November.

Yeah. Like, she was like, don't worry about it. I don't know, I know, but it's, it just hits you. Like, I just didn't expect to be like, oh, that change is so fast from like being his mom to being like's pure. Not pure, but you know what I mean? Like, I got to, like, I got to like, speak to him on the level, like, got to. You do become more interesting as a parent When they're out in the world

Because all of their certain It's like, oh shoot, well, wait, what is this? No, I'm finding that. Even our text relationship is becoming much more Like just feels like, okay, I'm really into like this. We went to Ireland for two weeks this summer too, the two of us Which I'd never been to Ireland. You and your son? Yeah.

How wonderful. He had been backpacking through Europe like hostile to hospital, which is the greatest. He loved it. Met so many cool people. and then I kind of like swooped him up and we went to Ireland for two weeks and I rented a car, I drove us all.

We were able to do his laundry. I was laughing because I was like, his laundry, the cost of doing it at this hotel was probably five times as much as actually the worth of his clothing at that point. But it was a dream. We had like paints together and like, yeah, it was actually really and I think that's when I kind of mourned it the most because he went off to like finish his trip.

And it was like, okay, okay. Like, you know, I kind of went upstairs, threw myself on the bed, like wails. Like, wailed, like, like, like, banshee. And then it was like, all right. Another thing, sorry. Tell me, please. You're into birthing your children out into the world. I'm talking about my mother dying.

So you can see where. No, it's all the same. It is all the same. And one of the things I realized when I was mourning my mother's passing, You know, and I was 57 maybe. I was very successful in life. I was so happily married. I had kids out in the world.

And when I would have the time to walk on the beach and have a good cry, the cry was a nine-year-old boy going, what am I ever going to do? How can I go on? Just in that moment. And then I went on. But I don't think you realize what it's, I got mother in that moment. My mother, your mother, who literally is the reason why you're taking a breath, you know, every, you know, selling your body came from her. You know, it's like, oh, wow.

Yeah. I don't think I gave her enough credit while she was alive. I did, but not, you did that lover. I hear you, I lost my dad two years ago. Ouch. Ouch. Doesn't matter how old you are. It's out.

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, yeah. I mean, but I was able, like, I had the privilege. of being in the, I got there and he had already had like a big stroke. So it was kind of my, he left it all to me. But to, and I, I knew that, you know, he didn't want to be his, what is it called? The like, when you're like, decide what, oh my God, my brain. Will. First Testament. No. Oh, do I live or die? Do you pull the plug or not? Sorry, whatever that is. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So that was

very clear. And I remember we did it. I, we did. I, we didn't. the lights. We played Frank Sinatra. I laid down and took a nap because I'd just flown there. And then like, he's in Cleveland. And as I woke up, the sweet nurse like tapped me on the shoulder and she was like, okay, it's getting close. So in my mind, he let me have this like rest. And I got really close to him and we like were breathing together. My husband left the room. My brothers were out here, but I made sure one of my brothers got to talk to him on the phone. And Ethan left and like we kind of, we had like a, we kind of breathed together, like as his breath was getting like longer and longer. Like we were like, felt very connected during it.

And when it happens, like when it finally was like, you know, he takes that breath and it just doesn't come out again. And I'd never seen him so relaxed. Like there was something about it that was like, the like weight of personality kind of like fell. off and it was so vulnerable. I'd never seen him that vulnerable. And, you know, there was that moment where all of a sudden the like, the like roof of the of the hospital room was just like sky. It was like a really profound experience. So yeah, I was like that was, I'm so honored that I was going to be able to, that I was able to be there for that because it was like touch and go. But, yeah, it's deep, deep, deep.

It's deep. You know, it's like, because they do, if your life is blessed that you die before your children, one of the gifts you give them is, this is how you do it. Yeah. You know, I don't know what the book is. You die as you live or you live. How we live is how we die. Yeah.

I think it still holds. Yeah. But, you know, keep going, stay curious, right up until, and including the end. Yes. Don't, you know, I think you have a responsibility to show those who are coming after you that this is part of life. Yeah. How you face change. This moment is as much part of your life as your birth.

How you face change. Like, do you get tense and fear it, or can you, like, flow through it and feel everything? everything, and yeah, it's like a... If you're around when I passed, and I'm going, no, no, remind me. I will hold the Kindle. Mary would be fine with that if I just kind of came in with the Kindle or the audio book. For sure. For sure.

Very cool. Five years from now, Magic One. Where are you? What are you doing? Okay, five years from now. Five to ten in that ring. Okay, great. I would love to be on some land.

I don't know where it is, but I would love to have some land, some quiet. Farmland, woods, land to walk. Woods, yeah. I want dogs just walking around without like, like, leashes on. I want a bunch of them. I want maybe some other animals. I want like a stone barn. I want to be in a next chapter with my husband that just feels like.

proud and again analog and like having the having time like trusting that we can have time um ideally our kids will just come visits on the regular with their families um there's places so many places i just don't want to see on this planet i love travel we've been to some really crazy places. And I would love to investigate what people I could play as I get older and older. I'm very curious. Me too. I mean, one of the things I said recently is I want to know what it's like to try to be funny at every age I'm given. 100%. And that's why I love Mike Shore. He has given me that. Yes, there's so many parts that I couldn't do 20 years ago that I feel like I'm like, especially in, I can't wait to go.

I'd love to be back in theater. I haven't real due it since my son was a year. I'd love to, if it's, I would love to feel good in this country. I would love to feel like this is exactly where I'm so happy to be here. I'm so proud to be here. And, I mean, that would be the dream. Sunday roasts. I want to get into Sunday roast.

Yes. Yeah, I really, really do. Like just putting it in the oven and have a whole Sunday. Monday of people coming over and leaving and eating. It's very English. Sunday roast. Exactly. I really, it's very English. I think that's why when I heard it, I was like, that's the way to do it. That is the way to do it. They know. Yeah. Yeah. That would be a dream. It's become a pub thing. You get the best Sunday roast in pubs.

Yes. I love a Sunday roast. But I can't, that would be, that would actually be the dream. Yeah. Yeah. I am so happy. I have to spend time with you. Had to dancing. You're a delight. Yeah. I'm so grateful that this happened. You too. I really was a pleasure getting to know your brain a little bit. Yeah, you too.

Not your heart. This was really sweet, intense, and good. Just keep petering off to the end. No, just give me one last snort, and I'll be happy. There we go. A little manufactured, but that's okay. That was a lot of fun for me. Emmy nominated Catherine Hahn,

catcher in the studio on Apple TV Plus. That's all for our show this week. Special thanks to our friends at Team Coco. If you enjoyed this episode, send it to someone you love. Please. Subscribe on your favorite podcast app and maybe give us a great rating

and review on Apple Podcasts. If you like watching your podcasts, all our full-length episodes are on on YouTube, visit YouTube.com slash Team Coco. See you next time. Where Everybody knows your name.

You've been listening to Where Everybody Knows Your Name. The show is produced by me, Nick Leow, our executive producers are Adam Sacks, Jeff Ross, and myself. Sarah Federovich is our supervising producer, engineering and mixing by Joanna Samuel with support from Eduardo Perez. Research by Alyssa Graal.

Talent booking by Paula Davis and Gina Battista. Our theme music is by Woody Harrelson, Anthony Yen, Mary Steenbergin, and John Osborne.