Where Everybody Knows Your Name with Ted Danson and Woody Harrelson (sometimes) - Lisa Ann Walter

Episode Date: May 27, 2026

Actor and comedian Lisa Ann Walter talks to Ted Danson about her off-Broadway debut in “Heathers: The Musical,” her amazing TV show that never aired, how she won over the Apollo Theater, the cast chemistry on Abbott Elementary, her new Hulu special “It Was an Accident,” and more.    Like watching your podcasts?  Visit http://youtube.com/teamcoco to see full episodes.  Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Did you think you were going to have to, like, talk or try to lure me out of my shell? No, I've seen, and I just want to hold on to your jacket and go for the right. Welcome back to where everybody knows your name. I'm so thrilled to be talking with actor and comedian Lisa Ann Walter. She currently stars in Abbott Elementary. She just has this bold presence, both on screen and on stage as a comedian. I love how honest and relatable she is. She has a new special out on Hulu.

It's her debut, and it's called It Was an Accident. Can't wait for you to hear our conversation. Lisa and Walter. Well, let's go to the next project and then work backwards. You're about to go off Broadway? Yes. And you know what? I'm not, hang on, I got to cross my legs.

It's a whole operation for me to cross my legs. Especially in letters. Fair. Fair enough. Thank you. Speaking like someone who, roll, rock and rolls around in leather. Yeah.

Frequently. It sticks. Yeah. Like sitting on a couch in my Italian family's house. Yeah. You gotta like work it. I am going to go off Broadway. It's very close to Broadway, though.

So I'd like to say it's Broadway adjacent. You're in New York. There are 300 plus people sitting there watching you. You have to step out in the dark and start. That doesn't matter if you call it off Broadway or Broadway. That's huge. Yes. It's big.

And I don't, the standing in front of people in talking and performing is what I do with stand-up. So that's, and I came from musical theater, from stage shows and classic theater. And I was doing plays in D.C. when I still lived there after college adjacent to the arena stage and a streetcar named Desire, the night from Almado, and some like really serious theatery stuff. Right. And then I did a lot of, to make money, I did a lot of musicals.

And it was great. I did a summer stock one year that was almost all musicals. I was just talking to my son about this. So the last show that I did that I got paid for, that was a musical, was Babes and Arms. I was the Judy Garland role, which I didn't know. I auditioned on a whim because, oh, golly. Where was this? This was the Y Mills Theater in Y. Mills, Maryland.

It is the state summer theater of Maryland. And I went to school in D.C. And there was a playwright that was in the BFA program with me that wrote a play commemorating the 250th anniversary of the state of the colony of Maryland. This is stuff you did not ask about. But I'm telling you anyway. The night before they were supposed to open, the woman who was playing the lead, it was a farce.

It was like a Moliere-type farce. And the lead woman, the lead character is a woman who was twin sister, separated at birth. One was raised as an Indian, as a native princess. And the other one was a Puritan maid. And it was errors in sacks and in haylofts and getting dropped down into people's arms. And I, this is what happened. The night before opening, the woman. who was playing the lead had a nervous breakdown. I don't know for sure that it was connected to playing

the dual role, but having done it in one day, felt like it. They called me, my friend who was the playwright called me and said, you're the quickest study I know. Can you come save me? Or this show goes down. If this show goes down, it supports the rest of the summer season for this theater. You were not an understudy? Nope. You had nothing to do with the play? Never thought. And you literally came in within a day. One day. So we ran. all night long rehearsals, and the next day, and the audience knew. And these are people with subscriptions to this. Some of them would come in from D.C. Some of them would, you know, come from Baltimore, Annapolis, some lived there. But the whole economy of this town rested on the summer

season of this little state theater. And if that first show goes down, there goes the season. The entire economy of the town was dead. I saved the town. I did it in one day and it was crazy because Ted, I had no idea what my entrance, I would just say, put me on an X backstage. And then dressers would come and put me in one costume or the other. And then I'd say, bring me to where my entrance is, give me my cue and my first line, give me my cue and my opening line. And they would tell me and I would go on stage and do the scene. only went up once.

Wow. Did you see total fear in your co-star, your fellow actors on stage going, oh, my God? I don't know that I looked at their faces. I don't remember looking or recognizing anybody except the drive, which I think maybe helped the energy of the show. And one time I got stuck in a sack. In a costume sack. Where they were kidnapping me.

Right. And so somebody tied it. And then I'm on stage laying down at the, you know, front center. And they're supposed to open the bag and the different one pops out. And they couldn't get the bag open. And I remember ad-libbing, doth thou have a shear. Doth thou hath a shears. I don't know why I thought they talked like that.

How did you know that you had the oomf guts? How did you, where did that come from that you would say yes to that? How old were you? 21. I was 21. Had you done stand-up yet? No. No, stand-up was a move and a baby away.

And about three more years. I didn't do stand-up until I was like 24, I think. You know, it reminds me. Have you ever done a 24-hour play? They do it a lot for fundraising. But it's basically that, but easier because it's not a full-length play. Usually it's like a one-act or something where, It all happens in 24 hours.

But I bet you the audience so loved that you were doing this and so rooted for you. They did. I was the cover of the paper the next week. They're like, saves the town. It wound up being like a Judy Garland Mickey Rooney movie. And then the next show was supposed to be Babes in Arms. And after a performance one night, we're all sitting around drinking, as you do, when you're 21. and living in a group house.

Yeah, yes, exactly. And they said, hey, we're doing a musical. Come on, audition. And I was like, no, okay. Jumped on stage and sang 16 bars of Is It a Crime? Which is the Judy Holiday song. The one you stepped in at the last second. Did you do many nights of that?

Oh, yeah, I did the whole run. You were now the whole, what was second night like? Do you remember? because a lot of times second night is hard anyway. Yeah, no, I felt, I felt, I felt great through the whole run. I don't think I ever got to the point where I had time to really understand, like, anything about the character or motivation or anything like that. It was literally just lying, go, do.

And I never had a chance to really explore it because the run isn't long enough. It's like a four-week run. Right. And then by the third week, we were already on to the musical. Rehearsing the other day. Yeah, I think they added, I auditioned, just goofing around. And then they said, okay, well, rehearsals start in D.C. next week. So you have to drive in and start rehearsals.

I didn't know what I was playing. And then they gave me the script. And I went, oh, my God, I'm Susie Ward. That's the lead. I have eight songs. And then they added three. They added three songs to the show. So that was the last time that I did a full musical.

It's been a minute. I guess I keep asking questions, hoping I'll find some fear or something because I, the last time I did theater, I went up. It was a 20-minute monologue. Yes. And it was a fundraiser for it. But it was a week of great material all that went up. And it just shot me full of so much adrenaline. It made, I think it actually made it better in a way.

That's what I'm saying. Like night two, when I had time to not just be adrenaline-driven-driven up all night, going right into a performance. The great thing about theater, what I like about it, the same thing I like about stand-up, is that things can go wrong. I was doing streetcar name Desire. A set fell. An entire flat fell. You are never so in the moment as when a prop is missing

or somebody else goes up or you go up. Then you're all the way there. Yeah. So I mean, fear, I'm always afraid. Right before I go on stage, I feel like I'm going to,

and sometimes I do, pee just a little bit. I'm going to be honest with you. Yeah. And I feel like I need to. We have special cushions on these chairs. So you just have that. You'll be fine.

Thank you. And four kids later. I mean, it's just we roll the dice. If I sneeze, it's 50-50 shot. I used to lie about, you know, when you're building a resume after college. Yeah. But all you've done is college. Right.

And maybe one summer I did, it was called the arena. What is the Washington one? Stage. Arena stage. So I did the arena theater in Lycoming, Pennsylvania. And I put down the arena and people, you know, later in New York when I was making rounds, oh, you were at the arena. Yeah.

Did you work with Hala Wines? No, I missed that. Richard Bauer. Is there actors? Where's your camera? Yeah. So the arena stage actors. Okay.

So you're off to New York to do Heather's? Heather. I'm going off to do Heather's the musical, which is based on the dark comedy, Heather's, with Christian Slater and Winona Ryder. which I quite enjoyed. Is this a new production? It's been around for a little bit. I think they opened in the West End,

and then they went to New York, and now I'm stepping into the role. So it's been running. I am so impressed. Oh, thank you. Don't say that. No, I am. That's a good thing.

Mary, do you know my wife, Mary Steenbergin? I mean, obviously, I know her work. Brilliant, brilliant, brilliant actress, and including all the stage stuff and all the Beth Henleys and all of that. I mean, she's wonderful. But I know I don't know her personally. I only bring her up so that you'll give me some cred. You'll think, oh, maybe if he's with Mary, maybe, oh.

You didn't even have to do that. I use her all the time, right? And that's, I would too. Yeah. I'm going to use her from now on just because you're married to her. But she jumps off tall buildings like you do. She just died. And it terrifies me.

Every time she said, I'm going to go do a play. She did Boston Marriage with David Mamet play. And directed by David Mamet, who, if you miss a comma. Yes. Don't do that. No. No, he's very words. Yes.

And he actually said to her, wait, why was that pause? And she said, it's the only time I can swallow. And he said, find someplace else. He said find someplace else. But I had to take like a sedative to go watch the first performance because I was so terrified than someone I loved. It just jumped off a tall building. Okay. So I'm a nerd pretty much across the board.

But I'm specifically a nerd about old movies in general. I was raised on them. My mother was a fanatic. We, you know, always were on TMC. And before that, it's Saturday morning where you start with Shirley Temple and you end with Tarzan or Blondie movies, whatever it is. $1,000 million-dollar movies. Yeah, or Dean Martin, Jerry Lewis, whatever it is. But I'm a huge fan of movies from the 30s and the 40s all the way through.

I specifically love movies about theater, anything about theater. Right. Right. So all about Eve, anything where people are walking around mattered. Right. I just, I always wanted to do that accent, which is like an Americanized British, When they taught them to do round tones, you know, thank y'all. Thank you all.

What language is that? It's theater. It's, yeah. Mid-Atlantic. Yes, it's Tulu Bankhead meets Hepburn, meets somebody with this voice. Yeah. So I always wanted to, I'm auditioning for my next off, off, broad. So I love the idea of being in that family, of being, of being,

on stage with people and doing what you're talking about, the dive. One of the things that happens in those movies that I love is that there's a battle between the writer and the director and the actress and there's always an idea of how you're playing it and who's playing what. And I thought, we don't have time in television for that kind of direction or attention to what we're doing. If you have a chance to run it, I'm telling you, like you have not been steadily on television for a while. I can't think of a time when you weren't on television doing a show. But you kind of rehearse on camera. On camera.

In takes. You rehearse while, in our case on Abbott, we rehearse while we're doing the first couple runs of camera is when we have a chance to take a run at it, especially if it's like a scene with snappy repartee and a lot of back and forth. And you hear it. You know what the rhythm is. You know what works for you. I guarantee nobody's telling you how to act in half-hour comedy.

Am I wrong? Once last time somebody gave you direction. Jimmy Burroughs. Oh, well, that makes sense. Yeah. Yeah. And it's been a minute, right? Yeah, and it's funny because if you get a note,

and you do, some people do this, and sometimes it works and it's great, but if you get a note that's trying to change your rhythm that you walk in the door with on TV, Oh. It's not a great idea because if I always think, yes, it's funny on the page. This is brilliant. But I, for some reason, don't seem to be able to get it and make it funny. Yes. Let's not argue.

Change it. Yes. And I'm not being stubborn, but let's make it funny. And it's my bad, but let's be, you know. And because this is not my show. And when I came into television, the first two were my shows. So first of all, I had to learn how to be on a mark so the camera could find me, because before that I was a camera, and wherever I went, camera would find me.

I mean, not like I didn't understand blocking. I came from theater. But, you know, there were adjustments. And one of them is, I don't, I'm not, can you explain to me how it was said in the room? Really, I'm saying, give me a line reading. Yes. Because I'm not understanding what you mean by this or how to do it. And sometimes people, Quintet can be really helpful because she'll say,

oh, it's this, and I'll go, okay, I got it. I got a handle on how I can do, deliver what you're looking for. Yeah. But, you know, you're top, you're number one. So on the call sheet, they got to change it. It used to be if you got a line reading, people, you'd be so insulted. So insulted. So insulted. I'm fine. Yeah. Give me a line reading. Yeah, tell me. And also, like, as Jimmy Burroughs wants to tell me, try it this way. Yeah. And it was something I never thought of. God bless, yeah. Okay. Because I know how to come in, you know, guns blazing, you know, all barrels and loud.

I know how to, one of the best directions I ever got. Did you think you were going to have to, like, talk or try to lure me out of my shell? No, I've seen, and I just want to hold on your jacket and go for the ride. Thank you. There you go. One of the best directions I ever got was. this was in the days when you went in a season, remember, like pilot season. Yeah.

And by this time in the history of television, I'm sure you were just combing through stacks of straight offers. No, but go on. Okay. Well, in my head, you went. And should have been, honestly. But in my world, there was auditions and you went into a room and it was never on Zoom. And you went to this, to this, to this.

and if you were doing well or you were on the lists and people wanted you, by the time you were at your third audition, this only happened to me once, but there would be offers from all those shows. And they'd call your people immediately because they want to take you off the market

so that you don't take something else and now you're in second position for them. So one day I was getting ready to go to my third and I was walking in the room and the first two had already said we want her. and this was me. I was walking into a room for a show called Breaking News, which I absolutely, still one of my favorite things I've ever done that nobody's ever seen, which is another story. But I had my phone. It didn't look like this. It was the giant thing. So I had my phone,

and it was the part of a news producer. And I walked in, I didn't need this job anyway, but I walked in talking to them about the other two deals. And like, okay, well just tell them to send it over and da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da. Okay, thanks. Bye. Hi. I got the offer then. Like, it was like, it was so the character. Not the part of I don't need this job,

so therefore you want me more, because it's all dating, right? It is. It was a little bit of that. But I wasn't playing it like, look how important I am. It was literally just the energy was, I'm confident. I have a lot going on, and I'm happy to be here, but I got a lot going on. Right.

So I did the audition, and it was a scene that was, it was a drama. It was one-hour drama. And I was obviously funny and a lot of it. But who was directing it? Ken Olin. And Ken Olin... 30-something. Yeah, exactly.

And also met his wife doing streetcar named Desire, which is where I met my husband. Sorry, ADD. Squirrel. He said, he didn't talk to me about the motivation or the energy of the scene. Nothing. He just goes, do it softer. Just quiet it down. And I did.

And I got to the end and I was like, holy shit, I'm a good actor. That was great. That was great. That's the best direction I've ever gotten. It was so right. The cliche is faster, funnier. Right. I appreciate.

Go faster. Yeah. Or like you said, go quiet. Because if you're an actor and you love what you're doing, you take that softer and all of a sudden you're going, oh, look where this is taking me. Yeah. Kind of thing. Yeah. Look what up giving the time to feel and let you feel.

Yeah. And it was fantastic. And the job was amazing. It was brilliant. I'm sorry that it didn't get seen. Tell me the name of it again. It's called Breaking News. And it was about, it was the first TV show about a 24-hour news network.

And we shot it on this beautiful set that was two levels with ramps in Canada. So these guys are running backwards. Yeah. Through the whole thing. It was a lot of Sorkin-esque walk-and-talks. And you could see from the upper level into the bullpen. and into every office because they were all glassed. Yeah. Oh, brilliant.

Yeah, it was a beautiful show. Yeah. Really timely. They had an episode where the person was supposed to be Osama bin Laden. It was not, that was not the name given, but it was supposed to be that person kidnapped, killed a congressman or senator on their driveway. And then kidnapped our main news guy, which was Tim Matheson, and held him captive with someone else and the other, the second person. and was murdered. And this was for TNT Network.

And we shot it and it was the best hour of television I've ever been a part of. And TNT said, we don't want to run it because it's not realistic and we're going to get letters from groups

and we don't want to do it. And Clancy Brown, who was the guy in charge and I was number two, we called the network. And they were like, you don't have to do this. And we're like,

this is the best hour we've ever done. We don't want to dial it back. It's great. And they were like, yeah, okay, that's nice, but we're going to do it our way. And then this was nine months later, 9-11 happened. It was prescient. It was a good show.

Yeah. Clancy Brown, also an amazing actor. Yeah, we had, it was a good show. And then TNT changed presidents, which happens. And then that president said, we want the whole network to be youth-oriented. And I remember so much they were telling us like, this is the way the network's going to be. Don't make the call. It's fine. And I went, what are they going to do? What's TNT going to do? Not let me wrestle. Not let me be in a Western. Because in those days, that's what they had.

And they changed the whole thing and they scrapped our show. Shot the entire season. Never aired it. And then our EP Gardner Stern brought the pilot to the TCA's, that year, and they watched it, and everybody did reviews on it. And it was like, this is the best show you'll never see. Isn't that wild? Crazy, yeah. Anyway, sorry. But I can, I could find it probably on Hulu or something.

I bet you can find it. I don't know. I bet you can. I'm going to send it to your house. Email it. I will. If you do, if you do find it, do. I would love to see it.

I mean, I have all of the copies, and it's the, I think we either digitized them or we're going to. It's the work on prep. The reviews that were written about my work in that show is like my mother wrote them. I mean, they were all like just so glowing. I binged you and, actually, was it, what is your character's name? Chessie and the Parenthood? Yeah. Yeah.

And I looked at that scene. I thought I was, you know, rediscovering you only to find out that people stop you on the street and ask you for a Chessie. hug. That's true. But you are spectacular. You're an amazing actor. I literally while I'm looking at clips to get to know you, I'm crying.

Literally. So maybe I'll get a hug. No, you already gave me a hug. I'll give you another hug. Are you kidding? But you really are a wonderful actor. Oh, thank you. And then you can do stand-up and you can do theater and all of that. How exciting. It is. And I I mean, that so speaks to me when you said this, your wife dives in and has no fear.

I think all of us have fear. Sure. And it's protection. And it's, I don't want to look foolish. And I already start out. I think my point A is I'm foolish. I'm fine being foolish. I don't want to look fat, but I'm fine looking foolish.

And I've kind of given up on the fat thing even. because now everybody is skinny. It's so easy to do now. I'm like, that'll be my selling point, the last fat actress. And I'll get all the world. I mean, somebody's got to be the funny friend. That's a great laugh. My first production company was Angeon's Funny Friend.

And I wanted to make an ingenuous, fat, funny friend. But I was like, I looked good. So I had to cut that out. But even then, in those days when I first came to L.A., They were, when I was doing the ABC show, the wardrobe designer, costume designer, was like, you know, that lawyer on Fox was really thin. It was Callista Flockhart. I'm never going to be Callista Flockhart. My Sicilian peasant jeans fat ass is never going to be somebody named Calista, ever.

Like, I'm going to be this my whole life. Yeah. And so, but we all succumb to the pressure. You know, if you can live through being a woman. Thank you. There's so many roadblocks and traps and this and that. Yeah. And if you come out with a, nope, you didn't get me.

I'm still here. Yes. I love the name of your special coming up that I would really. I can't wait to see. One of the things you tackle is what's happening to America. Yeah. Yeah. By a, what is the exact, can I look at it?

Sure. Do you remember what it is? Via the lens. Yeah, the backsliding. The backsliding of America through the lens of a, yeah, grown-ass woman who's been paying attention. Yeah. I've been paying attention. Yeah.

This is, the reason I started doing stand-up in the first place, was because there were things I had to say. It was just usually I talked about it with my group of friends that were my fellow BFA majors and we all moved to New York at the same time. And I'd make them laugh because that's all comedy is, is funny complaining. So the idea was

this is the stuff that I have to say, but I don't get it out, I'm going to be in trouble. Like I have to say it. And I watched Bill Cosby do a hunk about having a baby. He did a childbirth bit. So why is this man doing? this. This is our experience.

Right. Like, men in comedy were, that's the norm. There were so few when I was a kid. There was Joan Rivers, Phyllis Diller. If you watch Hollywood Squares, you saw Tody Fields. You never saw Moms Mabley or anybody from that to the Chitlin Circuit or

or Vegas because they worked blue. So you never saw those women. And having a female point of view in comedy, because comedy's masculine because you have power, you're in control. And funny is a, people say it. I don't believe this is true. But being funny is strong so it can be threatening. And smart as already starts off being threatening. So all of us

true. Yes. I mean, right? Whether it should be or not. Right. That is definitely how those things are perceived. Yes. Listen, I was in high school and I definitely. desperately wanted to be like Suzanne Purcell and all these girls that would wear what they call peanut pants. Kids peanut pants are a one and a half inch zipper and they were that low. That's how low the rise was. And I was 36, 24, 36 already by the time I was 13. So that, they didn't make them for hips my size. And these girls were this big and they, giggled. Anytime a boy would say anything, a lot of tongue smiling.

A lot of that. And I desperately wanted to be that. Every day I would go to school and say, just don't top them. Don't top the boys. Don't. Not in a sexual way. Don't be funnier. You don't have to make a comment when they make a comment. Just giggle. Just laugh at what they say. And you'll get asked to prom. Just shut up. And I would blow it by second period. every single day. I'd blow it.

Could you see the effect on them? Oh, yeah, they didn't like it. They didn't like it. But I could not be something I wasn't. And I already was a feminist. I mean, I started getting, I used my allowance to get Ms. Magazine

when I was 12. I got to tell Gloria Steinem that that made me happy. You grew up in Washington, D.C. I did. And a mother or a mother and father who took you to Women's March When you were eight? Yeah.

She didn't always take us. Sometimes we just went. Or we went with teachers that were activists and we would go downtown. What year is this? We're talking about 70s, 71, 72. Wow. Wow. So this is.

Me and my sister and our next door neighbors. And we ran like feral animals all over the neighborhood and did whatever. I think that's where the no fear comes in. Because we just did what we wanted. Oh, we're going to build a clubhouse now. We're going to host a muscular dystrophy carnival. We're writing letters to the Washington Post. We're going to go march against the war or for the ERA.

And the stuff that was fair is what made sense to me. I had this like sense of justice. Yeah. That this is the way things should be. And so I realized that being funny about it was a lot more engaged. People would listen more if you were funny. It makes the medicine go down, as they say. Thank you.

Yeah. Mary. Yeah, so I... But that's unusual and very impressive that you were doing that. Were there any boys in that group? No, just because like in the neighborhood, remember back in the day, parents weren't dropping you for a play date. No, I know, I know.

You either got on a bike and went to a neighbor or you walked. You didn't... You played with whoever was local. So next door on the right, we had a boy neighbor. And we played with him all the time. We were kickball every day or football, whatever, in the yard. And we played with him. But like the stuff that we did was there was never boys.

It was, I don't remember boys and girls really playing together back then. It was like either you were at school and there were boys in the play yard. And then there was a lot of chasing and grabbing. Yeah. You remember that? No, because I was the guy at age. Even when I was like 17, if I saw a group of 14, 15 years, old girls, like three of them

was a group. Walking towards me on the same side of the street, I would cross. You were afraid of the gaggle of girls? Terrified. Were you tall back then? I was. I was 6 foot and 120 pounds.

That's not a deterrent. Do you have that face? Probably. They liked you then? Yeah. But I also had a look like I had swallowed a grenade and somehow survived. My teeth were going in every direction.

Really? Yes. And as a freshman at Stanford, I'd see a girl across the room. The girl would see me across the room. She'd smile. I'd smile. And then she'd flinch and turn away. The biggest, proudest moment of my life was when I went to a dentist in Palo Alto

who had just got back from Vietnam. who had been doing, who had been doing sadly, hang grenades going off in people's mouth. Oh, God. And he was the only one who said, sure, I can fix it. Literally changed my life. See, this is what I should be doing in this interview

talking all sorts of nonsense about theater. Oh, God, that's funny. So I did grow up a little bit. Wait, wait, wait. How old were you when the grenade dentist changed your life? He's 18, 18, freshman at Stanford. And then what? Did you lay waste after that?

No, I was... I want to know what happened when you figured out what a fucking hottie were. I want to know. Tell me that. We can play this on loop later for like an ad or something. I won't go back too far because it's not necessary. But I was the guy who literally, it sounds funny and it kind of is, but I would be, the woman would be girl standing opposite me naked.

And I'd be going, well, I'd look over my shoulder and be like, you mean me? Literally. It took me until the second year of cheers when I decided, you know what, keep your mouth shut, Ted. Do not, you know, somebody's so sexy and so funny. The writing would be or the reviews or something because the show hired very, very, sexy looking women to look at Sam Malone and go, wow, he's sexy. Yeah. I got that mantle and I finally learned to keep my mouth shut.

You mean when you weren't on the set, like when you were out in the world. And somebody would say something. Yeah. I would go, no, I'd have to swallow it. Okay. Okay. I'm picking up what you're laying down. Yeah. As an audience member in those early years, as a young woman, as a young, healthy, American woman, I will say, you're one. You're one. You were

killing it. And by the way, it was, it's not just the women they put around you. It was, it was written and you were playing it. And I don't know if you were acting it, but you were selling it. I could get whatever I want. To this day, if I have a scene where I'm supposed to come on to somebody, I am, which is fear and fewer at this age, appropriately. So, But nevertheless, maybe I'm breaking, I was about to say. They keep writing it for me, and I'm like, y'all, come on. Stop.

Mary and I worked together last year, a couple falling in love. And she goes, they better not have his kiss. It's just not right to have us kiss. Anyway, it's like, we did and all of that. What, because you thought you guys are too old to kiss? Yes. What happens when you get, listen, I'm not in a relationship, so you're going to have to hit me to it. Not in life.

Carweed tool. It's Wednesday at 7.30. Just be in bed and I'll get on it. And then we'll both get into it at some point. No, but on camera. Okay. I was kind of hoping that it was. That's all they have time for, Ted.

I'll catch up. Let's just start. I'll get there. It does get different. I will say that. Yeah, long-term relationship. Same. Okay.

I don't know. I don't remember. Anyway, I wanted to say that about, the beginning of, you know, your idea of yourself, right? That it's, that they wrote it and then you slid into it. And then there was something else I wanted to say it completely has gone out of my head. So never mind. That's okay.

Something else will come on. We will stop when you think of it. Oh, thank you. Right back down. Appreciate it. I won't be able to, I'm not really paying attention to anything you're saying right now because I'm trying to. I'm going back. I'm following the breadcrumbs.

Okay, before we get Abbott Elementary, which is. Oops, I'm sliding into it. Brilliant. Oh, thank you. And Jimmy Burroughs used to say that every five or six years, the critics, the world declares half-hour comedy dead. And then something comes along. And you're one of those Something Came Along shows. Yeah.

That is brilliant. But let's put that on hold. I want to go back. That's stupid. We're here. Okay. We're going to go back to your standoff. in a minute.

Okay. That sounds good. Tell me about that. I had the pleasure of talking to Quinta, who is just a delight. A delight, a rock star, beautiful, smart, wise, powerful, all of those things. And that's her. That show is her. I know you have a roomful of writers, I'm sure.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. And they're all great. And many have a connection to or themselves have been educators. and, you know, my mother was a teacher, a Sicilian teacher in D.C. in an urban school. So I pulled some of mine from my experience. But Quinta, the wonderful thing about what Quinta did, and I remember what I was going to say before, so don't let me forget. The wonderful thing about Quinta and our experience on the show is that when I was busy doing my first shows,

the mechanism for putting together half-hour television was almost entirely focused on the showrunner. And by the way, there are brilliant showrunners out there, and that's great, that's wonderful, unless it comes from someone else's experience. And when it comes from someone else's, like my shows were, I really wanted to show that reflected the experience of women from my generation that were, basically my stand-up act was,

people think, you know, women think we're supposed to have it all, and we can't. And this is why we're bitches, not just once a month, but all the time, because we were sold a bill of goods. And you got to raise a family, find a care for cancer, have a flat stomach. I can't do it all. And I'm a bitch because of it. It was funnier when I did a mind. No, no, it is. Yes.

But that was the concept. And I wanted to show that was half at work, half at home. And just getting that when sort of the entire. idea behind half-hour television is you are either a family show or you're a workplace show. Something that was both is brand new. And I mean, we were incredibly successful, especially for the time. I think we have between 15 and 21 million viewers a week. You die for now. Die for. You die for five. Yeah.

So different time. What Quinta was here, able to do. And I want to make sure I say with the whole buy-in of Warner Brothers and ABC, Disney ABC, was have her voice be reflected and her experience of this school in West Philly. And they were smart enough to go, she knows that world, let her build it. And she was really clear on the characters. I think she took a lot of advice from, you know, Justin and Patrick. Patrick's Schumacher, Jester Halpern are the other writing producers on the show. Randall Einhorn, who was instrumental in creating this style of shooting the office, using different cameras instead of my side, your side, it's cameras going at once.

And the difference with our show is three cameras moving as we move. Which is why I think part of the success is this incredible ensemble cast that I'm lucky enough to work with every day. And it is. Well, you got awarded the fact that you are an amazing ensemble. Yeah, so we got the SAG Award for Ensemble. But there's not a bum in the lot. Everybody is top of their game. So that when we all work together, it's, or whatever mix they put, it just works.

Yeah. And that's something you can't, I mean, you can plan it. It's great casting. It's Wendy O'Brien and the decisions that Quinta made. But all of that, I think, we get a product at the end of it that is joyful. It feels real because of the way we shoot it. My reaction to what you just did is real. Chris Perfetti does a physical bit.

12 takes in that he never did before. And we're all like. You can respond in time. Yeah. Like, oh, bloody, come on. And then we all know by now, it's not scripted. He does that and I'll look to camera or Tyler will look to camera. All of that is just kind of part of our, it's part of the DNA of the show now.

And I think that the reaction that people have, if I'm going to dial it way off of the technical and into why people respond, it's the same reason why people, when they ask me, what are your top 10 favorite, to comes of all time. Cheers is on that. Because there is something about the magic of people who work beautifully together. Sure. The setup is something we understand and we, you know, are rooting for these two to get together or this one to have a win or all of that. And it makes you feel good. And they feel like family. At the end of the day, you got to want to invite these people into your home every week. I remember telling Quentin the first week, when we were shooting the pilot,

if only teachers watch us will be a hit, a monster. But everybody's gone to school. You either have kids in school, you've gone to school yourself, maybe you're an educator, but the experience is something that we all have done, right? As long as you're reflecting it in some honest way, which you guys do. Yeah, and I think there's always been a call for us to get rough,

get more into the unpleasant side of it and be reflective of some of the really scary stuff, like shootings. And Quinta has always said, this is an escape. This is, sometimes we do episodes that are purely ridiculous, which I find fun. I think they're weird, and I enjoy them. But she's just, she's brilliant. Yeah. And all of you have so much earned life.

weight behind your work that makes it really fun to watch. Oh, thank you. What a nice way to put it. Thank you. I remember what I was going to say before. Can I tell you? Bringing it back to me? Yeah.

Okay, go. So, yes, but really not. Oh, shit. I'm bringing it back to what I was saying about you and being a beautiful, sexy man on this show and how you did not. feel it you just started to kind of as if it. And then, I don't know if it changed for you internally at some point. I know for a fact that I, on stage as comic, which is the reason that I

got the offers to star and shows. And then in my work since then, I mean, certainly there are parts where this doesn't come into play. Chessie and the Parenthraft is one of them. But and other projects that I've done, the character is supposed to be very sexy. And I purposefully over-sexualized, even in stand-up, at a time when women were being told, you know, don't show...

And I was literally told, don't wear a short dress. Don't show cleavage. Wear something that covers your body or they won't hear your words. That's funny. I didn't know. I was even...

Thank you. But I said, this is part of the package. It's part of the power. Yeah. You know, I'm not going to desex myself because you can't hear me. This is part of who I am. And I never had that problem. All right.

A couple of times I had that problem where they just hooted and hollered. I'm sorry. Remind me what you're talking about. I'm talking about doing stand up, you silly man. It's good. I was talking about doing stand up and having them, woo, take it off. And then I'd have funny lines to, you know, hit them back with, you know, heckler responses. But I remember one time I was on stage and it was a bunch of bachelor parties. They were all screaming.

It was in Connecticut. And they were losing their minds. And I was just like, no, I don't have to work so hard. I just turned around three times. I was like, go ahead. I guess it's just 10 minutes of material I don't have to do. But, yeah, I never felt like that sexy person. Although I was told years later,

Part of the reason why you got those job offers is you're just smoking body. I never thought of myself as that. Hey, I'll, you know, whatever, whatever gets you hired in my mind's great. Fair. Fair. I am tall. Great. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I think the joy of getting older is to be able to say either literally or know it, if you hire me, you're getting all of me. Yeah. not going to show up and cut half of myself off, you know. Yeah. And why would you? Why would you?

Yeah. Okay. So I had a teacher at Arena. Oh, I worked there once. I heard. They talk about you. Yeah. Yeah.

So he's a great, great teacher, great actor. And he also taught at Catholic University of America, which is where I went to school. She has a great drama department. Not because I was so Catholic. but Stanley Anderson was his name and he taught at Arena at the workshop and I remember doing something I was doing a scene from a play

and we had to talk about it afterwards and he said, what happened to the girl who came in day one and bent over at the waist and was having everybody laughed and you were in high heels and wearing something hot pink and you had everybody laughing about your big ass

where's that girl? And I went, this is drama? We're doing Tennessee Williams. And he said, do you think you're fat? I was like, yes. He was a little bit heavy. He said, do you think you're sexy? I was like, oh, no, me. He's like, do you think you're funny? I was like, yeah. He said, do you think I'm funny? I said, uh-huh. He goes, do you think I'm fat? I was like, oh, dude, come on. Do you think I was sexy? I was like, oh, you all kind of do. He said, let me tell you something. You are all those things

and all the other things that you've ever thought about yourself, and you're an actor. So use it, all of it, always. Wow, what amazingly smart advice. Yeah, and I thought, oh, yeah. I mean, what else are you going to use? Actually, when you think about it, except yourself. Yeah, there you know.

Isn't it great being an actor? Yeah, it's really fun. It is. What's your favorite thing to do, though? Is it acting or, you know, putting things to it? life other than hanging out with my wife and my kids. Okay. So you don't ever think, let me write something or direct something or produce something. The other side of my brain that instead of writing, directing, producing whatever, which I will never do. I've tried it, but no, is science. So I am,

I hang out with scientists. I make speeches. I'm going to Spain day after tomorrow for a board meeting because we're all over the world. The ocean stuff? It's called. It's called Oceana, and it's the world's largest ocean advocates group. It's great. Save us, man. Save us. Really. We'll talk about backtracking, sadly, in this country, at least.

But we're all over the world, so there's hope. Did you listen to the astronomer last night when they were coming back from the moon? No. The whole message was, let us remind you how blessed we are. We're the only little thing in the middle of this universe, and it's a beautiful. beautiful planet that sustains us and we all need to take care of it. Yeah. I mean, are we really the only thing? Well, from their visual standpoint. Okay. Enough so that you, no, I don't think so, but enough so it's not an easy commute. I think, you know, or, or, yeah, we can blow this off

because we're all going to be imprinted on a ship or something. I got, I have a theory. Yeah. I know you were getting ready to ask something else. I have a theory that all these billionaires, I mean, not rich people like you and me. I should say rich people like you. All these billionaires that are trying to go to space and do like space tourism and all the stuff that they're doing, I think they're on to something. I don't think it's an accident that all of a sudden they're talking about. Oh yeah, no, there are extraterrestrials. Yeah. There's aliens. We know about them. Yeah. Yeah, they've been here. We know. We didn't tell you because we thought you'd be scared. I don't think it's an accident that they are saying that at the same time these billionaires are going to space. I think they've sold Earth. I think that they have sold Earth as tenant occupied and they're all making their plan to go somewhere else and they're going to leave us here. And at some point, the aliens. Wouldn't that be wonderful? Well, I mean, if the aliens are okay with us.

us being here. If the aliens aren't trying to like evict us, we're all right. Isn't it wonderful that I don't give a shit? Yeah. Really? Yeah. I care about today. I care about what we've been given

and trying to, you know, make it better and all of that. But any kind of conspiracy thought or question about all of that, I don't really care. I'm all right. Okay. That's good. And I'm okay if it's true.

Yeah. I'm okay. Yeah. I like finding stuff out too. That's what I... Are we finding out, though, recently? Is it becoming clearer and clearer that there have been aliens? Yeah. I mean, smart, wise people whose political careers would go down the toilet are saying it. Yeah. Yeah, 100%. And I think there's a lot more stuff that they know and they're not telling us. And I'm okay with that too. There's some stuff that I don't need to know.

Right. I don't need to know how many or if they're still here. Your job is still to get up every morning and try to be kind to as many people as you can and be hopeful. Yes. And specifically in my case, make them laugh and have a good time, which I can't think of a better job than that. No. One of the reasons that I enjoy doing stand-up and the TV show as well. But the thing that I love about anything that's on stage and, like, the reason I decided to go back to do Heather's is there's,

there's an immediacy with an audience that's right in front of you. I remember the feeling of being on stage as a teenager. What are you doing? Fiddler on the roof. I just wanted to be in the course. I wanted to do one show because by that time I was already playing the main trier, the, you know, talking like this or whatever it was. I was already doing that.

And I just wanted to be like young and in a fruity dress for her, you know, the music man and kick my heels up. And no, there I am on stage, socks in my waistline for pendulous breasts playing yenta at 16. But I made them laugh and cry. And I remember the feeling of being on that stage and thinking, I never want to do anything. I want to make people feel. This is what I want to do. And that, it's a gift to me.

And I love making people feel a little bit better. I feel like if people have a purpose, that's mine. One of the benefits to the world is you're creating community. And community is a harder and harder commodity to come by. Yeah. But people get up, leave their house and their TVs and their screens and go watch you perform and laugh and have a community, a sense of togetherness. You do. When you walk into a theater and you look around at the audience, there is a sense of look where we are.

Yeah. there's a science to, like, making people laugh or everybody, or, oh, everybody sharing an emotion at the same time we're manipulating them into, you know, but by whatever you're doing, that feeling, that ride, you know, I can be on a stage doing stand-up in particular. There's a science to a laugh starting at the front of the room and working its way to the back. and you see it like a wave. And then if you're good at your job, you can milk it and it can come back the other way

and you can milk it a third time and you can just, it just goes and goes. And if you're really good, you won't break into giggles when there's no laughter. No, correct. That was there the night before. Yes, yes, correct.

Because it's a different, for whatever reason, that moment in the play or whatever or in my act is hit different. Every show is different. And that's the fun part that we started talking about, that it's live. It's now. It's different from the thing I did last night. How old are your kids?

My kids are, oh, God, I feel so old when I say it. How old are your twins? The twins are 25. The daughter is the one getting her Ph.D. in psychology. Thank God, somebody in the family is doing it. Yeah, we have an in-house. And it's great. It's great, right?

She is 32, and my oldest will be, he's 37 now. He's going to be 38 in September. Did they come to your stand-up? Yeah, Jordan, my oldest, was a baby. Like I said, I moved to New York to be an actress. I was always afraid to audition because we'd had somebody come down from, I won't say her name. She was casting director for soap operas. And she came down to speak to the school because I guess she went there.

And she was really strict. You know, she looked at people and was like, something's wrong with your hair or, you know, your voice is funny. Who did they tell their voice was funny? Susan Sarandon. She went to Catholic. And we talked about it. We did the movie, Shall We Dance Together?

Right. And she said, they told me, she actually has an actress voice. They told me on the last thing that I did, the Shakespeare class, they said, your voice is funny. I said, mine said lose the weight. I was like, I was probably not even 120 pounds.

What? Woof. Oh, no. It was rough on women. You went to be 10 pounds underweight. And then the woman came down from New York, and she looked at everybody, like a cattle call. I didn't remember if I saw her,

but she was like, oh, this one has to lose weight. And I was so afraid secondhand from what she said to people that I just went to New York and was like, okay, well, when I'm skinny, I'll go audition. I'm never going to be skinny. So I went the other way. I got pregnant because that I did very well. And, yeah, often.

So I had him, and that was around the time that my friends started saying to me, all my friends from the program that were in New York, were like, you should be doing stand-up. It was the height of the comedy boom. And they were like, you should really be doing this. And like I said, I didn't know that many women who did it. Like, there were the few that you saw on television.

And I said, well, I know what I would talk about would be different from what I'm hearing. They're doing like set up punchline. I want to do more like the comics that I loved when I was a kid, which was Richard Pryor and George Carlin and people that were doing like. Stories. Yeah. Yeah. Characters, experience like that. So I had a friend.

My two friends from Catholic were like, you need to do it. One of them said, I'm giving you a date. You have to do it by. You have to promise me. I'll be there with you, but you have to do it by this date. And I took about a year. And I got together almost an hour of material for the very first time I ever got on stage. Wow.

And when they only give you three minutes. And I started doing the material. And the guy who ran that room was a tiny room right around 27th Street in New York. And the guy was giving me the stretch. And I wound up doing about 15 minutes. And then I stopped. But I was killing. I don't know if I ever would have done it again.

I was terrified. That's scared. The first time you ever get on stage, do you stand up? I can't imagine. Because it's not just, you can't blame a playwright or other actors. And the feedback is immediate. Immediate right there. And it's New York.

So it's a, ha-ha, or you suck. Yeah. No. Get off. So it's, you know, doing 15 minutes and having this very small audience, but the comics laugh was, you know, that was adrenaline. That was like, oh, I want to feel like this all the time. And then, yeah, and then I don't think I ever died for about another couple of years,

a couple of years before the first time I ever died on stage. I did Showtime at the Apollo for as a featured act within six months of ever doing stand-up. Oh, my gosh. That's hardcore. Yeah, but I mean, I grew up in D.C. You know, I'm like that the demographics of the room didn't worry me. No, but I was the only white person. They're very much yay or nay.

Yes, and here's the thing. What they told me was you're featured. You're not amateur at the Apollo or amateur hour at the Apollo was a segment of the show that happened towards the end. But what they did was they did. all of that stuff kind of together as a block after they shot all the shows with the features. But the features could be, I think on my show, we had run DMC. There was another comic who was some guy out of Atlanta who was wearing a suit, and they told him, don't wear a suit.

They already won't like you because you're from Atlanta. And you wear a suit, they're going to kill you. Because they keep the audiences for 15 hours. It's one audience. I don't know if they feed them or let them go to the bathroom. or what. But if you're into the eighth hour of taping, they're, they want to kill somebody. It doesn't matter you're featured or not. They booed that guy offstage, even though he was featured act. And I remember I was in makeup. I was upstairs. It was August. It was really humid at the Apollo Theater. They've got windows

open, but it's humans, New York. And I've got white girl hair. And the guy doing my hair, all black, fabulous queen, picks up a brush, it just starts brushing. I was like, no, my hair won't bounce back. And the TV is on, the monitor's on. And kind of out of one ear as I'm trying to protect my stringy little hair, the guy goes, this comic is going, oh, just let me finish. And I'm like, oh, he's doing so well, they won't even let him finish the setup.

No. I go downstairs, Sinbad, who was hosting, said, well, they booed the black guy off here next. right after run DMC. Wow. So go on stage, grab the mic, real confident walk.

You know, I'm like, I'm just going to be funny like I am. It was a bit, I'm not going to lie to you. I auditioned with this. This is something I said, this will never happen in real life.

When I watched that movie Punchline with Tom Hanks, and he was going to audition for whatever the big thing was, and he was like, I'm going to do an all new bit. And I went, never in the history of the world.

When I auditioned, for showtime at the Apollo was with a bit that I literally thought of on the way home from New York the night before with my then husband, it was my manager. And I'm like, I just thought of a bit. I'm going to do it for the audition. And he was like, you're crazy.

You can't do a bit you've never done in front of people for this booker. And I was like, no, I could see it in my head. I could see the whole thing that's going to kill. And I did it and it killed. And so that was part of it. It was this whole black and white cheerleader thing. And I was doing a bit about,

about rap. It was a dumb bit. But it was funny. It was funny. And it was of the time. It was talking about tone loke wild thing and how they do the wild thing everywhere. And the mother's like, I was once young like you. I like to do the wild thing too. Yeah, this happens. My Italian mother caught me stooping in the middle of her living floor. I don't think poetry would be your first reaction. That was the idea of the bit. But they started to boo a little bit. So they're hour 10. And so it started to pick up and I went, I have to survive. is not going to happen. I'm not getting boot off. They could do it to that guy. Not going to happen to me. And so I said, I looked up and it had not gotten to the balcony yet. It just started to pick up in the

house. And I went, well, the guys in the balcony like me because they're the ones I can see my tits. I didn't care if it made it on TV. I didn't care if they had to bleep it. I didn't care about it. I didn't care if they took my whole set out. I'm not losing in this room. I got the mind. And so they, mom who used to be the person right up front center. She was this little old lady that was always there for every show. They called her mom. She threw herself out of her seat on to the ground. Four other people, as we say back home, fell out. And nobody could believe that this little white girl, this little housewife, had taken on the crowd of the Apollo like that. And then I killed. Not only is it funny to say that because it's startling. Yeah. But the fact that you took them on, they must have loved it. Wow. It was instinct, I think, because it's not like something I'd ever said and never had the cause to say anything like that. It was like, I have to live and I got to do it right now.

And so I think I'd make a really good astronaut. I don't know. Making decisions in the moment that are life and death. They're taking calls. That's true. You did last night. They need me. You could call him.

Anyway, so that was that. You didn't even ask me. I don't know why I was bragging. I'm so glad. Because it's so, because it's like, for me as an actor, it's like listening to war stories. Yeah. In a way, it's like, you did that. It's theater, live theater.

You go out and you have a drink or something afterwards and reminisce about the scary moment you just had as a group. So this is, this is wonderful. I remember, and this was very prevalent in those. days of stand-up in particular. There were gigs I would go to. It was rough, man. It was rough. There was no women on the road. If you were on the road, the bookers or the other comics were trying to sleep with you. And if you did, you were a whore. And if you didn't, you didn't get re-booked. It was rough for women. I remember that people going to pay me several gigs, not just one,

where they'd have the money out because it was cash. Most of them were laundering operations, right? So they'd have cash out, and the next thing I knew, I'd be down my shirt or up my dress. And I'm like, where'd the money go? I just thought. It was a war zone. It was trying to pay you in cocaine. I'm like, I got kids at home.

What are you talking about? But it was a really prevalent coping mechanism, I guess, when people were, you know, trying to be funny and come up with ideas. And there's a lot of drugs and a lot of drinking. And now I think about it, and I think, how did I ever, because I was pretty cautious around, like, drinking before I got on stage. I didn't want to fump for my words or anything. But I would always have a drink before I got on stage.

If there was three shows in one night, three drinks, one before every time I got on stage. But, like, people got plato. And now I'm just thinking, how did we ever perform being wasted? It's a little crazy. God, I have so much respect. But I've been sober 25 years, so it's not an issue. Sober in that you went after it,

or you just decided to mosey on from having a drink? I think both. My body changed, and I could not tolerate alcohol and be okay the next day. Like, I just felt like, shit. I just did not feel well. So I did not want, my mother had a drinking issue

after my parents split up, and she was really, really sad. And her mother had just died six months before, and she was destroyed her. So she was emotionally wrecked, and I became kind of her caretaker. And she had a period of years where it was a lot, way too much, and it was scary to me. And I didn't want my kids to go through that. So I figured, like, this is just better if I stop. And it's... How old are you?

34-ish? 34-35. So with grown kids or is-grown young kids. Yeah, they weren't grown yet. I think the oldest was probably 12, 10 or 12, something like that. Yeah, good for you. I can't anymore. I mean, I will have a glass of wine periodically,

but periodically means like certainly not when I'm working. Because when I'm working, I'm already playing a man or two down. You know, I need all hands on deck. Yeah. And you just don't want to do that. Yeah. I don't know. I just like the fact that everybody tells me how good my skin is.

You do have good skin. I'm so sorry. I didn't know if it's appropriate. No, that'd be wrong. When do you want to grab? Eyelash? Your cheek. Oh, here.

Pliable. No. Yes, I have a moist, plump skin. That's also because of fat. You know what I said before? I was looking at your stand-up and all of that and preparing. And I said, Ted, do not think that you can run with the big boys. Do not banter with her.

What? You killed me before. That was hilarious. Would you tell me the story about the teeth? I'm dying. That wasn't banter. That was the sad truth in my life. Well, to you, to comics, that's called a bit.

That's a hunk. Yeah. Tell me what you're doing with Sorry, I want to get it right again A woman who's been paying attention Are you? Is it political? Can I ask? Yeah, you can ask.

Yeah, I've been... Wait, let's push it. When is this coming out? May 15th. On Hulu. On Hulu. And it is shot in Philadelphia and it was shot at a club,

which is unusual now for stand-up specials. They're generally shot in a theater, which makes it easier for production. I understand why people do it. But because when I came to L.A. I had like an hour and a half. And a solid hour and a half of, I knew where the applause breaks were, the outstanding O breaks were. I knew where everything, I knew my hour and a half. And I never shot a special back then. That's when I should have done it. Because I was, I was good. And I was one of the only women doing it with that kind of energy. I was not, and they're lovely. These are.

It was just not my style to be reserved and read Rudner or Paula Poundstone. That was not what I did. I did. Ha! Yeah. You know? And that was unusual for a female comic and worked blue, which a lot didn't. We were told that was another thing.

We don't let women work blue here. And so you couldn't curse it all. And I'm like, you know, sometimes a well-placed F-bomb is what that needs, that joke or that idea. And a lot of the stuff that I talked about always were things that I had to say. And I think, did I say this earlier that I wanted to do stand-up because Bill Cosby did his, yeah. Yeah. So the stuff that I had to say, a lot of it was stuff about kind of the experience of being a woman just because we hadn't, I hadn't heard it. I heard jokes about my husband Fang. And believe me, I love Phyllis Diller, getting to meet her. She did artwork for me and on the back said to a fellow female.

comic and I want to hang it backwards so people can see that. But I didn't do that. I did real stuff. And my point of view had always been very pro-female. I mean, feminist to a certain extent, but also kind of truthful, just truth-telling. Yeah. And yeah, always I did that. And in fact, the time period of my life where I kind of didn't do stand-up was because

the joke version is, I have four kids, two ex-husbands, first ex-husband, lovely Jewish man, turns out we had too much in common, he also liked men. Second husband, a cheater, not technically a religion, but he practiced it like it was. So I told sort of the truth about where I was with the family, they were teenagers or whatever, and the first husband, after he came out to me, said, I don't want the kids to know, because I think they'll think differently about me. I think our son will have a different idea of manhood. This is a different time, remember. I totally get it. How old was your son when he said that? My son would have been like 10, 11. Well, God bless your ex-husband because he's right, I think.

You know, you're struggling to find your own way. Listen, I was already when he told me, people you know, some people went all the way to only think about, you know, oh, how brave. And which to me I was like, you know, I was in there too, thinking that my marriage was something. But I was never mad at him because I understood that where he came from from his life experience and the people he grew up around, he didn't feel comfortable with it. And how hard that must be to not get to be fully who you are and to be with who you want to be with. And so of course I respected what he asked. But I felt weird doing stand-up because it was hiding such a big part of... Oh, yeah, your experience.

Right. Your story, too. Right, of the truth. Yeah. So I didn't do it for a number of years. And then the second one, the cheater, didn't think I should do stand-up because he said it wasn't feminine, which I kind of supported earlier in this interview. But he said, I should do it on the funny one.

And I'm like, tell one joke on stage, MoFel. One time, be brave enough to get on the stage and put it all on the line. It's not for sissies. So I think that once I got past all of that and I really embraced it after having the twins and we split up, me and the second baby daddy, we split up and I went back in. I was just gung-ho. I was going to say everything that I thought. Right. And so the part of me that is, in the act, definitely, I talk about things like a little bit about where we are in the country with politics.

But it's stuff that I've always thought is just things are changing. So there's a whole bit about like heartbeat laws and stuff like that. Yeah. It does blow my mind that what was so hard fought, then there's a period of taking it for granted. Yeah. And then people forget. Yeah. And not even just taking it for granted. If it was just taking it for granted, I don't think my generation, and I'm not the first generation of women's right activist, right? There was a whole bunch of people before me. The bras had already been burnt by the time I came on and marching as a little kid. And certainly it was not popular to call yourself a feminist in junior high in the D.C. suburbs in the, you know, early 70s. You know, the boys are like, why do you want to use a man's bathroom? Why do you hate

men? Why do you? You know, I'm like, no, I want you to like me. I don't, I don't hate you. I just don't understand why we are not getting equal pay for the same job. Like, that's weird to me. Because my experience was my mother went to work after my parents split up and she was responsible for us financially. Like, I didn't understand why we were still, because remember, like, women couldn't even get a credit card until another 10 years after, you know, they had split up. So I watched a lot of this stuff firsthand and was an activist for it. So by the time I got on stage to talk about it, I just did it from a point of view of this is what makes sense. Which is not a peculiar. I mean, that's the truth.

Yeah. Yeah. It's not logical for it to be. anything else. It's not fair. It's not a lot of things, but it makes literally no sense in it's self-defeating for men. Yeah, exactly. I mean, sort of the things that they are to say that they want, like you want, you want women to be emotionally and sexually available. And then the second they are, you're mad at them and they're whores or you want their body count or you're, you know, why, why are you so needy emotionally? Well, I mean, the biological imperative reason why women are needy with a relationship is we can die in childbirth. That's the reason. We have to

equate sex with love because our body knows that we are ostensibly putting our health and risking our lives every time we have sex because it can result in a baby. And there are a lot of States where they're making that even more. This is hilarious, by the way. This, my bits about it are a lot funny, a lot funnier than that. But yeah, it's telling truths like that. I think at least now it's a little bit more acceptable. If you're online at all, you see rage everywhere you go. She sees it. You see rage everywhere you go. That's what your algorithm is feeding you. women are pissed. And it's because they're going, wait, what do you mean we're losing that right? You would have no right. The number of women that I have talked to in the last six, seven years that didn't know that we were not guaranteed equal rights under our Constitution because they won't publish the ERA. It's passed in enough states. It's been ratified.

Virginia was the last one. That was 38. But the archivist for the Congress refuses to publish it. So I have my own pocket constitution and a stamp with the 28th Amendment. and I stamp it in there. But it's not officially guaranteed. And now all of a sudden, women are like, wait a minute. And I'm like, yeah, all those years you spent wanting to copy Kardashians and talking about, girl, just get the bag, just get a rich man to pay for shit. Undoing everything that we have been doing for decades that we marched for and fought for, died for.

And now you're just like, just sit back and be a, I don't know, a handmaiden. Like, what are you doing? Now all of a sudden they're paying attention because they're risking their lives again. And there's also a move now, so each family, or at least the married couple, the man will vote. Well, that's a save act, yeah.

Yeah. So, I don't know, we just heard John Fetterman now is saying he won't vote for it because it's not just here, right, this thing to make sure that you're, you know, by the way, the problem that it's supposed to solve, which is illegal's voting, has happened eight times. Yeah.

But as opposed to all the women that now have to try to get a passport and show their birth, it's insane. But talking about it, that people say, no, you don't want to talk about it because you sound angry. It's what I'm saying. Doing what I do in a funny way, at least people can hear it. Because in the old days, when we did it, they burn us as witches. But we're at an hour and a half. You cannot say witches. That's why we cut.

You can't say witches. Oh, I'm sorry. Everything else was fine. You're the best. I never got to the question. I hope your kids are just fucking delighting in you. They're really good kids. Good.

They're really good kids. And they're good to each other even more important. That's it. Hold my hand. Look, we'll do it like this. Perfect length fingernails. Thank you. They are.

It's called builder gel. Builder gel. Builder gel and not like Builder Bear. It's builder gel. These are not my nail. I bit my nails my whole life. I won't talk about mine. I have an oral fixation.

Thank you for having me. Thank you for having me and my oral fixation. It's been such a pleasure. It has been. Thank you. Ladies and gentlemen, the tall and very handsome, Ted dancing. With his fixed teeth.

That was Lisa Ann Walter. Her new special on Hulu is called It Was an Accident. Make that your appointment viewing this weekend. That's it for this week. Special thanks to Team Coco. If you've enjoyed this episode, send it to a loved one. Rate and review on Apple Podcasts if you're in a good mood. Once again, you can watch our full-length video episodes at YouTube.com

slash Team Coco. See you next time. Where everybody knows, you're not. You've been listening to Where Everybody Knows Your Name with Ted Danson and Woody Harrelson sometimes. The show is produced by me, Nick Leow. Our executive producers are Adam Sacks, Jeff Ross, and myself. Sarah Federovich is our supervising producer, engineering remixing by Joanna Samuel with support from Eduardo Perez. Research by Alyssa Grail. Talent booking by Paula Davis and Gina Batista. Our theme music is by Woody Harrelson, Anthony Yen, Mary Steenbergin, and John Osborne.