Where Everybody Knows Your Name with Ted Danson and Woody Harrelson (sometimes) - Sona Movsesian

Episode Date: September 2, 2026

This week Ted Danson’s getting to know his podcasting colleague Sona Movsesian. The “Conan O’Brien Needs a Friend” cohost and New York Times-bestselling author talks to Ted about how she stumbled into being Conan’s assistant, her role on their podcast, her love of Los Angeles, and why she worries her kids are going to Google her someday. Sona’s new book “The World’s Worst Mom” is out now at bookstores near you.  Like watching your podcasts?  Visit http://youtube.com/teamcoco to see full episodes.  Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

We're being watched, by the way, by two five-year-old boys. There's no way I'm going to get through this podcast without cursing. Welcome back to where everybody knows your name. Lately, I've enjoyed talking to my acting colleagues like Rob Delaney and Katie Segal. But today I wanted to talk to a coworker from my podcast world, Sona Moseccian. I often see her in the hallways here at Team Coco Studios, where each week she has, co-hosts the hit podcast, Conan O'Brien needs a friend. She's also the author of a New York Times bestselling book about her experience of being Conan's longtime assistant. It's called

the world's worst assistant. And keep an eye out on the bookshelves for her new book that comes out September 1st, the world's worst mom. I can't wait to get to know her. Here's Sona Mopsessian. I can talk hair. We've been talking for five minutes about hair. I love talking about hair. And hair products. And hair, I love talking about hair products. I love it because, I think because it's like such a big part of my life is my hair. So I don't even like, I can go down a rabbit hole.

But I won't, but I can go down a rabbit hole. But this is how, because we're talking and having fun and laughing and endorphins are flushing through our body, talking about hair product, means that we have taken a shallow cut in our, approach to life. Yeah, that's true. And why not? It makes you happy. It does.

It's the little things. It really is the little thing. We could talk politics and what, what different hair products the politicians use. Yeah, or different hair pieces they use. Oh, shh. I got so screwed with my hair. I was losing my hair like by the end of college, I had a little hole in the back of my head, a little divot back here.

So when I started working, I would do this. the old almost shoe polish, but something else and just covered up and comb over. So when I was doing Cheers, somehow the rumor got out to the press, or they just knew, but instead of saying he's, you know, just covering up a little ballspot, they said he's wearing a full little toupee in the back. And I couldn't say, no, I'm not. I'm just coloring it in with shoe polish. Then later at Cheers when I actually.

did have to wear a toupee in the back. They went, you know, he's totally bald. And I couldn't say, no, I'm not. I just wear a little toupee. Oh my, well, it's also, it's tricky because your character was known for his hair. Yeah. And you do have great, you have great hair. God bless you. You have great hair. I mean, oh, well, thank you. Okay. Let's move on to something. Did we start already? Yes. We have been recording. Oh, yeah. I wouldn't waste hair bits on not recording. I hope Dyson sends me a free blow dryer. In a second, we really should switch seats because you are a pro. You've been in this room with Conan for how many years?

You've been with Conan for 17, but how many? I've been with Conan for 17. We've been doing the podcast for eight. From this room? Well, no. We did it first from the studio in Hollywood at the Earwolf studio. Then it was COVID, so we did it from home remotely. Then here.

Yeah. Oh, wait. And there was a point where we did it from the studio. from our Warner Brothers studio above the bandroom where they would rehearse. And it was this like long stairway up. So we've had a few. Four years here maybe. Yeah, I think so.

I think four years. But flying co-pilot. Yeah. Yeah. Especially when you don't anticipate it. Because without you, the guy would tank. No, seriously, when you think about it. Not true.

No. Oh, come on. It's not true. Is he funny in a forest all by himself? I don't think he is. Well, I think that what I give is I'm a generous lapper. I love laughing. And I think for a comedian, that's just lifeline.

That's what they need. Drugs. It's drugs. And you can see it, not just him, but if someone's sitting here and they work in comedy and they see me laughing, they just like narrow in and start going after it to just get more and more of whatever I'm giving. So, yeah. But if a comedian is in the woods and they're just, you know,

there's no laughter. Are they even alive? Yeah. They certainly aren't funny. They're kind of sad. They're just people in the woods making doing things. So a dog walks into a bar. Shit, not funny, I guess. It's just, it's not the same. This will be a different experience for you because I'm kind of the Barbara Walters of this. My whole thing is to make you cry.

Okay. I love crying. Oh, good. I do. I love to cry. I know you're doing. doing a bit, but I love to cry. I cry pretty much on a daily basis. Sometimes when I'm in the car. Both. Both. Sad. Anytime I get overwhelmed. And I think it's my person, I get overwhelmed all the time. And so it's just instantly just starts. And it's, I like it. I'm not saying it like, oh, I'm sad. I'm crying. I'm like, I like it. It's a good release for me. Yeah, I'm a crier. You are?

I tell you what, when I finally get to the cry, I cry for happy. a lot. Yes. Or love or something. I cry a lot. Maybe too much, Mary would say. I'm a cryer. But when I, when I am upset and just stuck, if I cry, I think it's like laughter. If you cry, you know, you're really cry, your belly's going, your whole body's on and it's very cathartic. And it usually allows me to move on. That's the same. I'm the same way. And I think that there's just, there have been times in my life where I've felt very overwhelmed because of, you know, support or family or love or things have happened that have gotten me really just like happy. And I have to just cry.

Or if I find out someone close to me past, if I don't cry, then I'm a disaster for weeks. So I do the thing where I remember when my best friend's grandma cried and I was close to her. I pulled over on the side of the road and just like sobbed. And it just helped me. It's my favorite thing. It's to either laugh or to cry. I just, both of them do an equal part. I'm a very outward person. You're kind of magnificent. No, I'm not. You are. That's a great person. No, I'm just very outward. It's like I wear my emotions on my sleeve. You never wonder how I feel. But you make life easy for everybody else. Because I, no one has to work hard. Okay. Let's get to talk in a minute. Does he draw funny pictures about you? Does he take his anger out of you by drawing really horrible pictures of you?

He's a graphic artist, right? He is a graphic artist. He's illustrated. He has. Both my books, he's illustrated. He's a very funny guy, so he gets it. But there are times when he'll, like, draw me and I'll be like, so there's a part of my new book that's coming out where it's about my subconscious. Called the book.

Oh, the world's worst mom. I'm so bad at plugging myself. But there was a whole chapter written by my subconscious. And I go to my husband and I say, I go, can you write a picture of me and my subconscious before kids and then after kids? And I said, after kids, I want it to look like the monster from the substance. The end where she's like a giant blob. Do you guys, did you guys watch the substance?

You know at the end when she just becomes a blob? So he had so much fun drawing that picture. And I think that's when he was just kind of like, Okay, you asked for it. I know. And it turned out very accurate. Yeah. So this makes you a really great mom, the fact that you can write about being the

worst mom, not that you can't have worst mom qualities, but if you know you have worse mom qualities, you're a really good mom. I think I feel like the worst mom, probably because. It's funny, but you don't really. I've seen your twins. They're really sweet. They're not worst mom twins. No, they're not.

And two boys is a lot. They're very sweet. But I think that when I decided I wanted to have kids, I had like this idea about what I was going to be like as a mom, how getting pregnant was going to be, how having my babies was going to, how all that was going to be. And none of that panned out the way I thought it would, you know. I ended up having to go through IVF. I had a C-section. I, you know, I get angry a lot. lack of patience sometimes. You know, I don't, sometimes I'm just too lazy to cook them a meal,

so I'll, like, throw in some nuggets into the, you know, into the toaster oven. It's like, it's not the mom I thought I was going to be. So in that way, I think I'm kind of the worst. But I don't know anybody who lives up to the standards they have for themselves. And parenthood is like a tube. You know, you get through it. You don't spike the football. You know, you never get to really say, man, I'm a great parent. Yeah. You don't. I don't think you do. It's impossible. You have kids.

Was there ever a time when you're like, I'm nailing this? I'm awesome. Well, that's kind of, yeah, that's me, though. Really not self-aware. God, I'm good. Why are you guys angry at me? I was really good. Here's what.

You keep your feet next to theirs. Wherever your feet are, it tells you a lot about who you are. Your feet, your feet aren't out the door. Your feet are firmly planted next to your kids. They are. So are mine. Yeah. And then they went out the back door.

I used to make this horrible joke saying, here's my ideal day. I'm taking a nap. I've just accomplished something so I can relax and be in the afterglow. My kids run in and I can say, how are you? And they say, we're fine, Daddy, and we love you. And I say, great. And then they'd run out again and I could go back to my nap. that's really what I wanted is for people to tell me they're fine.

That sounds like the perfect day. Yeah. No, that sounds like the perfect. Do you still call them a lot and talk to them a lot? If you don't, fuck, we're being watched, by the way, by two five-year-old boys. There's no way I'm going to get through this podcast without cursing. Okay. So they're watching.

Oh, really? So we don't have to worry about it? No, no. It's impossible for me to get. I think about that too. you know, on the podcast especially, I say a lot of things. And I'm like, there's going to be a point where they're going to Google me. Yeah.

And they're going to watch. And they're going to say, my mom would never say that. And they'd slug them. And then they'll be so disappointed when proof comes back. Yeah. Like, oh, your mom created a segment called Big Dick History on a podcast. And I'm going to say, I didn't. Richard Nixon.

Richard. Wait, no, who was the one I was, Gerald, not Gerald Ford, LBJ? LBJ. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's, I don't see the, see, see what happens? That's what I'm talking about. Like, do you know how many times I've said the word jizz on our podcast? Isn't that horrible?

You got me. I don't know why. I can say a lot of things. Jizz, just. That's the word that. Can't we say spermithoa? Do we really say jist? word, Ted, the whole word? You want to say the whole word? Now, how about sploo? Seriously, you got me.

Oh, oh, snap. See, I went back for snap. That was good. You're like Conan when I say vagina, because he's so Irish Catholic the way he grew up that saying the word vagina makes him like, like you can see his brain short circuit. We all pretend to be very comfortable with vagina, but we're not enamored, curious. determined but really embarrassed. I remember being in the woods with my best friend. What are you doing? I'm always right and perfectly in my mic.

Here we go. See, you're good because you draw all the bad. I'm a bad influence. So growing up, my best friend, you know, we live out in the country. And my best friend has a sister a year or two old. And so we all decide to get together in the woods and show, I don't know how we hold, maybe it's eight, and show each other our privates. Now, my mind, you know, yes, I understood my penis would be involved. But I assumed that her vagina would be involved.

But no, she just showed us her breasts. And I was like, no. And that eight, we're not working with much up there. Yeah, so it was like wrong. It was like cheating. That's not. And it was after I came out with my penis, which was really embarrassing. She took advantage of you.

That is messed up. I know. I want to know where she is today. And I think we have to have a conversation with her. I think she needs to show you her vagina. I think it's probably best. Okay. Listen, I just was dipping my toe into this area.

Please do not go run with this. I'm not. I have a story too. But you know what? One of my kids did it. And I can't. Okay, go. I don't know, can I?

No, you probably can. I'm not going to say which kid. But they were. So 50-50, one who had to live with the burden of. You are rotten, by the way. I know. But it was nap time at their preschool. And one of them just took all his clothes off.

He just took. Why are you whispering? That's so normal. Because they can, they're in the other room. They can hear me. I know I'm talking to me. Both of them are naked right now. They want to be.

You know why? Because little boys just want to play with their penises all day. And that's something I learned being a mom. That stops around nine. No one else. No, it's done. From grown men, that never's, that's not the truth. Good.

Okay, I'm glad to know they grow out of that. I'm really happy. You know, it's hard about talking penises? All penises are really stupid, ridiculous and silly, except your own. Oh, yeah, that's true. That's true. They're fascinated by it. Yeah, you're fascinated.

They are, yeah, by their own. Oh, yeah. Yeah. They could just, like, look at it all day. They don't have to touch it. They could just, like, stare at it all day. And I'm like, okay, I'm so sorry. So anyway, I have a book coming out.

Yes. And we've at least given them a sense of what your book is about by demonstrating. Oh, I'm traumatizing my kids. Sorry, you've gotten, probably not, but could have gotten me into trouble in this last 20 minutes. Do you get Conan in trouble all? all the time. You lead them down the RC good at deflecting your... You know, I mean, if we're talking about humor, I do love poo-poo-p-p humor. Oh, so does my wife marry. She has a nine-year-old boy sense of humor.

I do too. People have said that about me. And it makes me laugh the most, like when people, but also like when people fall, it makes me laugh. I like the very basic kind of thing. Farts. Farts make, like a perfectly timed fart is his. hysterical and it always will be. Can I tell you my little fart story? And then we'll get back to your fart story. I don't have a fart story. Okay. I want to hear your fart story.

So Mary, maybe eight years ago, said, Ted, you need hearing aids. I do not. It was somehow, all men, pardon me, seem to resist the idea that their hearing is going. You know, but then I'd be saying, what, wait, what? Hold on, what? A lot. And it's like, okay, fine, I'll go. I go get hearing aids.

This is up in Vancouver, and I step out on the street, and it's like, wow, the intensity of the noise and everything I heard in the city was just overwhelming. Oh, my God. And then I'm walking across the street, and I break wind. And I go, oh, Jesus. And I had been spending the last four or five years, Mary would go, we'd be walking somewhere. Not right next to somebody, but in public and I would fart. And she'd say, Chad, everyone can hear that. And I go, oh, they cannot.

I love the idea that you think you're crop dusting. Yeah. But you're actually assaulting people. Yeah, bazooka. Rapid fire bazookas. Okay, your turn. Girls don't fart in public. I know, I understand.

I understand. I understand. Girls don't fart. And I'm a lady, sir. I would never. Anybody who doesn't teach their kids to enjoy and laugh at a breaking wind. Yeah. That's a really misguided kind of situation.

It's one of life's simplest pleasures. And it's the thing is when you're near, and it's, when I'm in an elevator and someone has farted and it's lethal, I don't think, I don't, I'm not like angry. I think it's hysterical. Oh, I'm different. I like to think somebody saved it for when they were. in the elevator and then they like let it loose and I think that's hilarious. It shows a little of little hutsba because that's tough one.

You're in an elevator packed with people and you're like, I'm just going to let it rip. When we're on a plane and we're sitting next to each other and we both smell this horrible fart, we turn to the other and go, please tell me that was you. Because a stranger's fart, assaulting my nose is just wrong. I don't know why planes are, I would not be cool. Anyway, farts are. poo air. It's it's poo air. Right? It's like holding a little pile of poo and going in people. You're dangerous. You are so dangerous. Pool air and poo we do in the privacy of our own

bathroom. It's a private thing, but farts can go anywhere. Anyone. That's amazing. I never looked at it that way. Let's change the subject. Yeah, I'm sorry. So that, anyway, that's this is what I do. So Conan is a comedian. He's worked on The Simpsons. He's worked on Saturday Night Live, which are like kind of juvenile shows in a way, like their humor, but it's smart. And it's very, very, very, yeah, very smart nine-year-olds. And it's really like well-crafted stuff. And then I come in. And it's because I don't have like a like a history of improv and comedy writing and stand. I don't, I have, I have no training in any of that. So I'm just this, you know, broad that walked off the street and came into the studio and sat down and just started saying really silly things and nonsensical things. And he kind of just has to play off of that. You're quite wonderful. All right.

Now, I've been trying to prove to the world and myself that I can run with the bulls and I can't. So let's drop back for a minute and go, where did this come from in you? I mean, because it is, it's not like, it's more than confidence. It's, I don't know what it is. Because you, according to some interviews I heard, you talk about being hired, you kind of walked in the door with this, and that's what, whatever it is, we're talking about demonstrating. You walked into the door when you met Conan, and you both recognized something in each other.

But where did that come from? What was your mother, your father? Well, my mom and dad. Were you that way in school? My mom and dad are both, they're both immigrants. And they're both. From Armenia. No, they're from Istanbul, actually.

But we're Armenian, but from Istanbul. Because your grandparents move. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So they're from Istanbul. My dad comes here in the 60s. My mom comes in the 70s. And this is kind of where you come in, in a way.

Because my mom came here in 78. And she and I, I was born in the early 80s. We have a big cultural. and generational divide, my mom and I. We just do. It's just normal. And Cheers was one of the only shows all four of us

could watch and equally find as funny. And so, like, it was just sort of like TV time was, like, a way that we really bonded with each other and watching Cheers was a big one. That's why I was so excited to come and talk to you today because that was such a big part of it.

And then also the good place, I think about on a daily basis from a moral perspective. Wasn't that good? Wasn't that good? Oh my God. You know what? There was one part where in the good place someone was like, it's hard for anybody to be good because if you just go by flowers, like the flowers were sourced from somewhere that was unethical. And so, yeah, yeah, yeah. So, and there's times when I'm like, I can try so hard to be good, but am I, am I being good? It got to me from a very deep moral perspective. But this is not the question you asked. So I, I think, that it's just from an early age, I think my parents just really encouraged me to kind of be

myself. I had to fight a lot to do things because I was younger and I was the girl and I was from a pretty conservative family. One brother, Danny. Yeah. And Danny did everything like he was supposed to do. He's, you know, he's... How much older? He's like almost two years. Almost two years. Do you have siblings? Older, four-year-old sister. She's older than five, four years? Yeah. Are you guys close? Yes, but not not we're we live in different on different planets and love each other. Yeah. Have each other's back. But we're on different planets.

Same. Me and my brother. Yeah. He was like more of a jock in high school. I was more sort of like artsy. I loved like weird things. And then he was a frat boy in college. I was very studious.

He's now working in finance. And I'm doing this. You know, we're very different. But I love my brother very much. But, yeah, so I think it's just where I come from. I think that I rebelled a lot. So this is a, I'm still probably rebelling. Where are you growing up at this point?

Where were you living? I've always been in L.A. I grew up in L.A. I'm from Monabello. I don't know if you know. No, no. It's what, Montabello is like one of these suburbs that if you live in L.A. forever, you might never go there.

It's right next to East L.A. So it's like downtown, East L.A., Montabello, wittier. and then I grew up in Hacienda Heights. So I'm very east off a freeway. Many people don't take the 60. Multicultural? Very multicultural. Yeah.

I mean, Monobello especially has a big Hispanic population and there's a lot of Armenians there. And then Hacienda Heights was a big Asian population. So I learned very early on you take your shoes off when you walk into an Asian household. I knew that when I was like five or six. Yeah.

And then I've just moved all over. L.A. I would get stir crazy after living somewhere for two years and I would just move into a different city. Yeah. I loved it. I love it. I mean, I'm a very L.A. person. L.A.'s fantastic. I am obsessed with this city. Me too. Yeah. There's certain sadnesses like, sure. Was it General Motors that bought the Red Line and got rid of all the trolley cars? It was. Oh. They bought it to make it better and then shut it, hold down because they wanted a salt to be driving cars. And it's sad because L.A. is so multicultural, but we're segregated in many cases. And it's too bad. You should be able to jump on a trolley car and go get the best food and, you know,

the best Chinese food, best Mexican food, go to a fiesta, go to this, go to that, effortlessly, and be happily blended. I don't think we're really there. You're right. I mean, it is, it's, you know, before I had kids, when I had a lot more time, my friends and I really made an effort to explore a lot of the cities. So we would spend a day in Highland Park. We'd spend a day in Santa Monica. We'd spend a day in, you know, Marina del Rey. We'd go to downtown for, like, we just really tried to explore. And it's like a thousand different cities just cramped together. And you're right. It's hard to get, like, if you live on the, I lived on in Santa Monica for a, about two and a half years. Which is its own little republic, yes. I needed new friends, Ted. I needed new friends. Nobody would come visit me.

You know, like, it was just, to get there was a pain for people. And vice versa. My kids invite me to, you know, someplace on the east side for dinner. It's like, oh. It's an hour and a half. Let's meet in San Diego instead. I know. I know.

So that's how it is. But I just, it was like my playgrounds. It still kind of is, but now because I have kids, I'm more planted in Pasadena. Let's add something else to your resume. You're intensely curious, which is a wonderful, wonderful, wonderful thing. Yeah, I'm a very curious person. I am very like, if I have the ability to go and explore something, I will do it. And it's, I think that's something that's really added to just how I look at life. I'm just so much more curious. I'm not their way. I'm not curious. Can we talk about me some more, please?

I don't think I'm as curious as you. I'm embarrassed to say, my comfort, my desire to be comfortable. Because you grew up in Arizona. Yeah. And then you somehow found yourself in L.A. So there was a curiosity that led you here. Well, Tucson Flagstaff. The curiosity was my cousins in Pasadena. Yeah. Okay. Who had a TV. We didn't have TVs. So what do you mean, though? You came here to watch TV? Not a beer with my cousins, but they had a TV. Oh, I see.

Okay. And then that just kind of like. Oh, it was. And you came to visit your cousins? And then you saw a TV and then you're like, I want to do this. Then you went back to Arizona. I'm telling you your story. And then you came back here?

Yeah. Roundabout, Stanford, Carnegie Tech, Stanford, Carnegie Tech, New York for my, you know, seven years of becoming an actor. Yeah. You know, and then L.A. Yeah, I love L.A. I love Southern California. Did you do a lot of theater work in New York? I tried to, tried to. Yeah. I knocked on a lot of doors. I did a Broadway play that lasted one night. What?

It's my Broadway showcase. But that's amazing. And that's before you were on TV. Yes, but TV auditions or film auditions always excited me in New York. Theater was, well, if I'd been, you know, the B's name, and people wanted to hire me for, maybe I'd still be in New York, but they didn't. Yeah. So TV and film just enchanted me. And then we were going to have a baby.

So it was like, no, let's go home. Let's go to the west where my people are. Oh, right. Yeah. And where film is. Were your people in help, did they help you a lot? Financially. Oh, okay.

My parents are, like, they practically live in my house. My parents and my in-laws. The second I had the kids. You're taking care of them. No, they take care of me still. But in your house. No, I was joking. I mean, they come over a lot.

Yeah. But when I had my boys, yeah, I mean, they come. They're your people. I get that. I mean, I do have, I want to know why your Broadway show only lasted one night. It was this really well-directed piece of fluff. But it was so well-directed that you could hear the audience going, Like, wait, wait, why am I laughing?

You know, big belly laughs that would peter out. Big belly laugh that would peter out. And then Clyde Barnes, who was the, you know, critic that said you lived or you didn't live. Yes. This is a great story. We went to Sardis after thinking, man, we're going to be hit. Did you hear that laughter? And Rex Reed, who was another critic of the time, hated Clyde Barnes, who was the New York Times critic.

So Rex Reed came to our party. New York Times, you know, at night you get the in Round 11 or whatever it is, the New York Times someone runs and gets them to read the review in Sardis of the play you were just in. Oh my God. And Rex Reed said, here, let me read it out loud to you. And he hated Clive.

So he was mocking Clive Barnes' total destruction of our play. And we are laughing at Rex at the same time holding back tears. You know, it was the most bizarre. My God. Mom it. Oh, my God. I turned around to get my drink and the cage had already come down on the bar because, you know, the producers are going, shut this down, shut this down. I went to the next day, said goodbye to my parents who had flown out from Arizona to see it, put him in a cab, went to my matinee, walked in the stage door guy, went, where are you going, Bub?

I went, I work here, and he went, not anymore, you know, and put, pointed to this. you know, closure. Unbelievable. Yeah. I've heard of this. Yeah. I heard of these days where, you know, people would read the New York Times review and it could make or break. But I don't think I've ever heard it actually happened.

Well, not anymore because now everything is so dependent on pre-sale and this huge extravaganzaunche of a musical or whatever, you know, that it's all pre-sold for a year. and so they feel comfortable and keep it going. Yeah, but oh my God. What a gut punch. Oh, my God. I'm sorry I brought it back. No, no, it didn't bother me. If you want to cry, you can.

You know, this is a safe place. Back then I was now, if I have that kind of disastrous thing, I'd have a good cry. Back then, I didn't, it was like, I just wanted to act. Yeah. I just want, I don't care. Acting class, Broadway show that closes. I don't care. Let me just act.

You're so resilient. You kind of have to be. Because I just love, I think, what I'm doing. Yeah. Love it. And I couldn't do anything else. I was going to say you still love it just as much as you loved it before. I could be a butler, but go on.

Like when you shoot a man on the inside, are you excited to get onto set? I'm excited to drive through the studio gates. I'm excited to get on the set. That's so cool. I love cruise. I love, yes, I'm a goody tushes when it comes to Hollywood. That's not being a goody two shoes. That just means you're not jaded.

buy it, which is very rare. It's really cool that you're not. And that's because I love hair products. Keep it simple. Keep it simple. And you will find much joy in life. I'm sorry. Did you say keep it simple with hair products? Because that's where I'm going to have to disagree with you. Oh, I'm sorry. There's like 15 things in my... I was pretending to be above it at that moment. I'm sorry. Wow. I'm such a hypocrite. Okay. Back to you. Okay. All right. Tell me about your daddy. My dad is, his name's Gil. So are both ises, your mom and dad are alive? They're both, yeah, they're both alive.

And present in your life. They're very present. You're very present. You're very present. That's amazing. Yeah, I'm probably going to see them tomorrow. I see them weekly. My dad is 77.

My mom is just turned 70. And my dad came from a very small village in Turkey. It was. Outside of Istanbul. Outside of Istanbul, yeah. His parents were survivors of the Armenian genocide. So they were orphaned. By the Turks.

By the Turks. We can say it. Interesting choice. Yes. Yes. So staying, they had to change their last name just to exist in Turkey. So in Turkey, they were Aksu. I'm in the United States, were Mufsac Sassian.

But in Turkey, they were Aksu. So just a just a Turkish last name. Gotcha. But his parents were saved by sympathetic turksia. Turkish families. Okay. And so my grandma was Greek. My grandpa was Armenian. And then when they were old enough, they basically arranged their marriage. They had six kids. And my dad was the youngest of six. So I have a lot of much older uncles and aunts who all unfortunately passed away. And they had kids. Their kids had kids. And now their kids are having kids. So we have a massive family. And everyone's here now.

So my dad immigrated when he was in the 60s. He went to Montabello, high. He played soccer. Then he, you know, he was the general manager of a lunch truck catering business before lunch trucks were cool. And he did that for, I think, 20, 30 years. I can't remember. I should know that, but I don't.

And then my mom came in 78. They got married here, had my brother and I here. And my mom was a stay-at-home mom. You know, we had a very kind of suburban life. but we were in L.A. and it was fun, you know, where I was in Hacienda Heights and the Pointe Hills Mall was down the street from us. And it's like a normal suburb, but back to the future was shot at the mall that I lived. You know, I mean, it's, there's just little things like that. But it was a very normal run-of-the-mill upbringing, you know, with...

I don't know why I found that so comforting to hear you talk about. Yeah. Yeah, because I think a lot of people, me, you know, I left home at 13 and raised the family over here. At 13? To go to a prep school. Wow. I thought it was my idea, too, because my sister was going away to college. My ranchers, sons and daughters were going away to school. I was like, ah, don't leave me behind.

I want to go to. I want to have an adventure. Wow. Did you like it? Yes. And it was terrifying. It was an old English school system where anyone older you can basically beat the shit out of you. You know, the boys ran the school.

It was very Spartan. They hired teachers called Masters. They had someone who worked and managed the farm. And there was a dishwash, professional dishwashing and a professional chef. And an electrician. Everything else was done. by the boys. Wow. Job-wise. So it was cool in many ways, but it's terrifying. 13, an 18-year-old is like a monster. Yeah. Yeah, they still are. They're scary. I mean,

it makes you mature a lot quicker, I'm sure. But also, it's like, it's like prison rules. Yeah, yeah. Prison's good. Makes you a man. But it made you more independent, which is. Yes, and I, and the sense of adventure was amazing. You know, we would take, I would take a train because there was snowing in Flagstaff a lot. Yeah. You couldn't get out of Flagstaff to fly back east. So I would take the Santa Fe super cheap to Chicago. This is at 14.

Jeez. Get on the 20th century limited into Grand Central Station, wait around for a couple of hours where I'd run to Times Square because it was just so. It wasn't smutty back then, but it was close. It was French films. Oh. But respectable French films. Sure. They'd bore you to death now.

But then it was like, wow. And then go back and on a little three-car train, kind of like, you know, Hogwarts. What is it? Hogworth. Hogwarts. Yeah. So you'd go and you'd get off and you'd go cross the bridge at Kent. And you never left that campus even to go into the town until you went home for vacations.

Oh my God. So sheltered. Wow. So you're saying at 13, you had to sort of take care of people? Is that what you were? Sorry, because I cut you off to ask you about the prep school because we were talking about my parents. I wanted to, I'm sorry, I interrupted.

I do that. I'm sorry. But yeah. If you're asking me what my train of thought was, we're dead. Same. Let's change the subject completely. Because that's what we get to do. Let's talk about Conan.

What a dick. What a dick that guy is. Oh, my God. Such a dick. Yeah. You know, he's my father. He's my father. You know, he's my kid's godfather.

Okay, I was kidding about that. No, but he's still a dick. You could still be a dick and be someone's godfather. It's okay. Yeah. But Mikey and is it Charlie? Charlie are out there listening. Yeah.

And they're going to go. I don't think they're listening. I think they're playing with those Legos that I brought in for them. for them? And they're probably naked. They're playing with their penises. They're fine. They're totally fine. As long as they have their penises, they're okay. Vagina, vagina, stop. The vagina suits you. That was my defense. Oh, my God. Yeah. But what is that like? I mean, you have a job. What would describe your job when you're sitting around the microphones. What is your job? You know what? I'm going to take it even further back. Because I grew up in the

circumstances I grew up in. And I don't know if this is something that you went through, or if you're still going through it. There are so many moments where I stop and I look back and I'm like, I cannot believe this is happening. Right. And it's because my parents were not involved in anything, anything entertainment related. I think that me getting my job with Conan was even kind of, because I was an NBC page before. Right. I worked at NBC and then I was very set on working on Conan's show in any capacity. I would have been a PA. I just didn't care. How'd you know that by watching him on TV or were you around and live? I was a huge fan of his while I was watching TV. You know, I mean, I just, I loved late night. It was such a big part of shaping my sense of humor. Where did he?

He shot that in New York. Where? In, at 30 Rock. So, and you were stationed as a page at 30. No, I was stationed at a page here as a page here. Oh, wow. I was in, I was an NBC see page in Burbank. Oh, wow. Okay. Not the same, Ted. Not the same. No. The page program in LA is very different from the page program at 30 Rock. But the uniform's just as awful as at least it was. So then I got that job and then I worked at NBC and that was like, I can't believe I get to do this. And then I wanted to work on a TV show and I wanted to work on Conan's Tonight Show. And so I I talked to whoever I could talk to in order to make that happen. And then by some fluke, I became his assistant.

And then it was just 12 years of me just being in complete awe that I got to do what I got to do. And now I sit there. I'm here talking to you. And I'm still just like, I can't believe I get to do this. This is so cool that I get to meet people. What's cool is that you are joyful. I see the joyful or. enjoying of where you are.

Yeah. But you're at ease. You're like the man or born, man. You are. I think that I don't get starstruck. So that's one thing. I'm working my ass off for just a crumb to discover that that won't be in the picture. I give you a whole spiel about my immigrant mom and how much we loved cheers and how much I love the good place.

That was more about your mom than you. But go on. No, I'm saying about you. Is that not enough? No. You need more? Yes. You are such an actor.

Like a sponge. You are such an actor. Oh, no, I'm kidding. I am, by the way. Oh, you were great. Conan, that was great. That was so good. Does he need acknowledgement?

Yes. Yes. I love hearing fallible things about that giant. Well, who doesn't? I mean, I think anybody who is in the public eye needs to be told they did great. Yeah. And it's, it's, because like, how else can you go on?

How else can you go? If people weren't telling you, you were fantastic in all the projects you're in, what, what, what, you know, do you, do you think you need that external validation? Yep. And enjoy it. Enjoy it. And I will go so far as, if I don't get it, I will say, like, if we're shooting something, we just did a take.

I will go, the take, you know, they say cut. And I go, hey, that was great, wasn't it? And then asking for the compliment. And then they naturally give it to you, but I take it a step further. I believe them. Yeah. Even though I ask for the compliment. No, but they're telling you the truth.

You have had, you have gotten to do what you do for a lot longer than a lot of people have. Because I'm nice. It's, that's a huge part of it. It is. And you know how I know. But yes. Because as somebody who was an assistant for so long, when people come in, how they treat the people that are not the celebrities.

Yeah. How they treat the people around says a lot about who they are as people. Oh, shit. And you're talking about. You're talking about. You're talking about. That guy over there. He's, I'm so embarrassed.

How are you? Yeah. Good to see you. Love your work. But you are always very kind and decent to everybody around you, but you're also very talented. I mean, you're a very talented actor, but who happens to also be very kind. And I think, and I've heard this about Mike Scher, who you work on many projects with. I heard he's not very tolerant of people who are dicks.

And I think that that says a lot. There's a smidge of life's too short. That's real. Yeah. Yeah. I think maybe some huge movie stars maybe can get away with it, but I think that's changing. Word gets around. Yeah, it does.

Yeah. Yeah, it does. What I can't stand is mean to crews. If someone is like nice to you and nice to the higher-ups and all of that, but then it's a dig to the crew, that to me is like the lowest of the low. Yeah, why? They're doing your lighting. Yeah, they're your audience. That's you.

They're the focus bullets. You want to be a little out of focus? You want to look a little blurry? Yeah. You know, you want to half your head. to be in the shot. I don't know how it works. Yeah.

I think there's one person, if I ever meet her, I will lose it. And that's share. Yeah. Oh, you knew. I'm very vocal about it. I hope it gets back to her. Do you know, have you met her? I don't think so, no.

Yes, I have. You have? In the most kind of embarrassing way. Oh, my God. We weren't naked, but no. My embarrassing way was there was a hairdresser who was pretty, pretty well-known person, or she did some, you know, Arnold Schwarzenegger and people like that. So she had a hair product and Cher agreed to do an infomercial for her.

And I was kind of bullied into coming in and making a guest appearance for two seconds in their infomercial. And that's one time I met her. Oh, wow. So she's Armenian. She's half Armenian. Yeah. Oh, yeah. And that's like a huge part of it is because she's,

just a queen for our people. And so actively so. Embraced and loved. Loved. You know, when people ask what Cher's full name is, I doubt you'll find any Armenian who won't say Sherilyn Sarkisian. Like, they just, they know her full government name. And I think that it's, it's just such a point of pride to like know somebody who shares that. Because being Armenian is such a big part of my life. because my parents were, I married an Armenian guy who's like from the motherland. I'm raising two little Armenians. Tak? Tak.

Yeah. So he's like, he's from Soviet Armenia too. So he also speaks Russian. I know. He's there when it was like real rough, you know, but he's, it's. Does he talk about that? You know what's funny about how Tak grew up is he, you know, he reveres the United States. He just loves it.

I say something negative about it, he gets very like, no, no, you don't understand. It's great here. It's great. And I'm like, you can say it's great, but also it's our duty to criticize it, you know? But then if there's a really cool restaurant or cafe that has a line, he won't wait in line. He's just like, why would you ever wait in line for food in the United States? And you realize it's because his life growing up were people just waiting in lines for things. So he won't do it. Up until. this point, he came here when he was 11, he won't wait in line for food. And I'm like missing out on the really good like chocolate croissants that are being sold at like that one bakery in Pasadena because he won't wait in line for it. So who's suffering here? Sometimes, excuse me. Sometimes

I forget just how spoiled and elite and all of my life is at this moment. It's so. Yeah. We're very lucky. We're very, very lucky. Yeah. I mean, it's why my parents came here. So, you know, I think about that a lot. It's kind of like Cubans in Southern California, you know, are more likely to vote conservative because don't talk bad about this country that I just was lucky enough to get to. Yeah. A lot of Armenians also say they are way more conservative because they don't like hearing people, you know, talk about how bad it is here. Because to them it's not. And I get that. I see it. I don't agree with it, but I see it. So this was a huge circle away from you telling me what your job is when you sit down and they start, Conan starts his podcast.

What, how do you, do you sit there and just go, I'll know when to jump in or does he throw you a cue or? You know, that's interesting. I never really thought about it because we've been doing it for long enough that me and Conan and Matt have a really good symbiosis at this point. and I think that we work really well together. When there's an interview, he'll sometimes, I notice he'll look over at me, and that's kind of like a cue for me to jump in with something. But I just love hearing him talk to whoever we're interviewing.

Like when you and Woody were here, that was so much fun for me to just sit back and listen. And I didn't need to jump in much. In the beginning of the podcast, and at the end of our podcast, we have these segments that we record. And that for Conan is, I think, outside of his comfort zone because we don't prepare anything.

We just sit down and start talking and hope something happens. Do you cut as a teaser or before and after? How do you make use of that? In the beginning, when Conan first introduces the podcast, we talk for about like 10 minutes about whatever. And then the interview. And then at the end, it's like then there's another segment that's about something that's a little bit more substantial.

Like we'll talk about a review we got or we'll talk about a website we saw or something. you know. So that's how our podcast is. It's sandwiched between two segments, the interview. And so the segments are where I talk most. And then the interview, I jump in whenever I feel like it. Or now we're at the point where there's a lot of people who listen to the podcast who come and get interviewed and engage both me and Matt. What do you mean? They're invited as. They come. They're celebrities who just happen to listen to our podcast. I know. And then they know Matt and I. And so they'll talk to us and they'll, you know, bring us into the conversation a lot more. And then at that point, it's the four of us talking, which is fun. Yeah.

So it's, you know, I just kind of, every time I come in here and I sit and I don't know if you feel like this, you don't know what's going to happen. And there's something fun about that. It is. I can always see myself go off track when I'm preparing. I think I could ask this or I could ask that or, ha, ha, that's a good podcast. Oh, that'll be, you know, I'm. into that. And then I finally go, no, don't.

Yeah. What are you genuinely curious about that person? Just one thing you really, really, truly would like to know. And then it becomes a conversation. I mean, people like you are so easy to talk to. Besides being fun and interesting and all of that, you talk. Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, I talk.

Oh, I talk. Oh, you talk. Oh, I talk. No, I love to, I love to talk. I, you know, I love to talk. I love to cry and I love to laugh. That's pretty much me in a nutshell. But I think that with you, there's an ease you have about you. I don't know if people, I'm sure a lot of people have told you this. But there's like something about, there's a thing about you where you are this hyper successful person in your field. But you're also, you put other people at ease. Like, you, you're. I'm probably trying to put myself at ease. No. Yeah.

Don't be too hot. There's the quality about you. Yes. You know, being nice is definitely being nice to somebody else, but it's also being nice to yourself because your body, your body feels better by being nice instead of dickish. Yeah. You know. So it's kind of a, you know. Yeah.

But I think that it's also, I mean, that just says something about who you are as a person. I think that you. And I think that you. And I think that's why you're so good at interviewing, because have you ever interviewed before you were on this podcast? Do you have a crew? Do you have like a posse of besties? My Mary and my kids and then a handful of people that mostly were brought into my life by Mary. Oh, okay.

But really, it's fun to hang out with guys. It's relaxing. Yeah. It's way beside the point. You know, go home to your wife. Yeah. And I don't think that's a good, noble thing. It's just me.

That's just how I am. No, I think that also just says a lot about you and Mary, that you, the fact that you still like going home to your wife is nice. That means that you guys have a healthy relationship and that your friends also and real true partners. That's true. I mean, I see that with me intact. I feel that.

Conan and Liza, I see that. I saw that all throughout my time working with him, is that he would shoot the show. and then he'd be ready to go home to his family. Yeah. You know. This is fun. I will, whether we do or don't, I will always feel like I have the right to give you a hug and say, hey.

You, I love, huh. Hey, we did have a little moment, you know? I agree. I would love that. And I would love to do. I remember saying this is really, whatever. And it wasn't literal, but my thought was I'd like to shake hands with everybody in the world. Oh, that's really sweet.

It was a metaphor. Yeah. But this is close to that. But you don't want to, like, travel to go shake hands with you. No, I love my little warm-seated Japanese toilet. Oh, you got a Japanese toilet? Now, you went and fell, didn't you fall in love with Japan? Didn't you go on your honeymoon to read that?

I love Japan. And here's what I learned about Japan. Someone can hand you their exact itinerary of what they did. And you could try to emulate it, but you could do whatever they did. but it could be a completely different trip. So, like, what I realized is everybody was like, you have to go to this one station because they have the best ramen.

And then you realize every train station has the best ramen. Yeah. Because their food is amazing. The train is always on time. It's clean. People are kind. At least they were to us. Yes.

My husband got appendicitis on the flight home from Japan. And we got home and people were like, thank God you were home. And I'm like, if we were in Japan, it would have been clean and robots would have operated on him and it would have been free. What do you mean? What do you mean? I wish we did it in Japan. It's a magnificent country and it is unlike any other place you've ever been. We went to Vietnam, fell in love with Vietnam. Japan's different. Yeah. Totally. It's very unique. Yeah.

We fell in love. We had a guide, Heroku. And we've, we had so much fun with her and respected and loved her and had me, all our meals were pretty much with her, that we invited them, she and her family, because they're Dodgers fanatics. Oh, yeah. Yeah, and they're going to come stay with us for a week. Stop. Yeah, and we're going to go to Magic Castle and a Dodgers game. Oh, my God, how fun.

Oh, do you know a magician at the Magic Castle? I know you can just call. Yeah. But we thought it might be fun. I would just love if you had a magician friend. I mean, I know you're Ted dancing. You could just be like, I want to come to the Magic Castle. Oh, I could get anyone, yes.

Except Conan. He does not answer my calling. That's not true. He reveres you. I know he does. He does not revere me. Yes, he does. But we see each other.

He's a really nice man, and I think he knows that I'm in that ballpark. No, you guys. We're very similar. Yeah. No, he really. But he's, boy, is he funny. Yeah, he is really funny. And he's outrageous.

He's outrageous. He'll try anything for humor. I know. We've traveled to get, we just recently, we went to Morocco recently to shoot one of his travel shows. Yeah. It is, it is non-stop. It's not, in the week we were in Morocco, we flew twice. You know, I mean, we were somewhere for a couple nights, flew somewhere else.

There for a couple nights, flew somewhere else. It's just, and every time we had any free time, he was shooting something. And if they're like, get into this, you know, guillotine and get your head chopped off, it'll be really funny. He'll be like, we had a good ride, you know, time for me to go get my head chopped off for this comedy bit. You know, it's, it's like, I don't know if you have, it's like almost like a neediness to make sure he gets what he wants. He really is shaking the hands of literally everybody in the world. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He is.

He really is. I mean, his travel show, he's gone everywhere with it. So, and that was like, the HBO one was after. all the countries he had visited when he had his TBS show. So he's, he's just nonstop that guy. Yeah. You know, it's, it's, uh, I don't have that work ethic. I don't. I don't either. I don't either. I'm a, I love to relax. Oh, I can do nothing. So easy. Same. Same. If, when I drop my kids off at school and my husband is at work and I look at an empty house, I'm just like, Oh, yeah, Mama.

I'm just going to chill. I'm going to watch a staggering amount of television right now. I might even watch Traitors, the traitors. Are you a traitors guy? I've never gotten into it. Okay. Well, we can teach you. We can teach you.

Can I just watch a new season without knowing what happened in any of the other ones? And watch the English one. Oh, not even the Alan coming one. Unbelievable. But this is in England, it's, The people are a little more normal. Oh. They're everyday people.

Oh, I like my life more normal. I used to love watching British reality shows more than the American versions. Would I lie to you? Do you watch that? No. Oh, my God, you have so much to learn. Check out, would I lie to you. I'm going to write these down.

Like, I watched so much great British baking show when I was pregnant. Yes, yes, yes. I was worried my kids would come out with like a British accent. Right. I watch so much. I don't think there's any show that's more. comforting. And they can't make an American version of it. There's no way. No. No, it's absolutely wonderful. Even the bad jokes are just perfect. Do you have girlfriends? I have a, I have a crew.

You do? Yeah, I have friends that I had since I was a kid. No, most of my friends, most of my friends are from when I was growing up. Yeah. But I have really good, very close friends that I had since I worked on the show. Like Erica Brown, you know, downstairs. Oh, yes, Erica. Yeah. Erica is like she's one of my closest friends and I met her when we were working on Conan together on The Tonight Show. What an amazing person to walk into this building and have her be the first person you meet and is taken care of by her. She's really remarkable. Erica and I could not be more different from each other. Yeah, you are a little.

No, sorry. No, she was an introvert. I'm an extrovert. Oh, yes, she is. I need people around me. She can hang out and she'll like enjoy things on her own and she's just one of the. of those people. I have never worked so hard to be friends with someone in my, and I am so too much that there's times where I would like hug her and she'd be like, we need to set a three second

limit on these hugs. I thought it was just me. But so with her and then, you know, a couple other friends that I made when I was working at NBC. Like I've picked up friends in all stages of my life. And I have made it a point. And I think it's because I was. single throughout most of my 20s and my early 30s, that because I wasn't working on a relationship, I was working on my friendships. I was seeing people. I was hanging out with people. I was, going out with a lot of my friends and we were hitting the town a lot. You know, that was just, so I have a lot of, and they're my lifeline. Like there's times when I'm just, I need, you know, one of my best friends, Christina, who I've known since kindergarten, all textured, I'll say,

and we both have kids, I'll say, do you need to go out for dinner? Because I do. And she's like, how about tonight? You know, like, we just are able to reach out. I was a little more compartmentalized. Yeah, yeah. But I mean, it's, I think it's because I was single. And I think it's because I was living on my own a lot. And I just needed people around me. And if I don't have them, I don't, I flounder. You know, if I can't reach out to my friends or do a girl's trip, you know, once or twice a year, I really have, it's hard for me. It's like, it's almost like a defibrillator. It needs to, like, shock me back. Yeah, I take trips. On your own with girlfriends. Yes. Friends. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. I didn't know we could do that. Yeah. I know. My mom never did. My mom never did. She never did. And I, you know, but I, and I think that when I first heard

I remember I heard my brother say that he would go on like his trips with his friends to go watch like a football game like somewhere in like, you know, in Arizona or wherever. And I'd be like, you're leaving your children for two nights and having just enjoying yourself. Like I was just like, you can do that. And then when I had my kids and I remember the first time I did it, my my best friend and Christina and I, we went to Laguna Beach and we just spent two nights in Laguna. I remember I came back and I was like, oh, I think I'm a better mom because I just took a break. And I needed to like just reset. And so, you know, usually it's just once a year. Sometimes it's twice.

And because of work, I travel every once in a while. But I think the guilt that I had about leaving my kids left as soon as I came back and I just realized they were okay. and I realized I was okay and, you know, I didn't traumatize them or anything. So, yeah, I try to do that now. It's important. Like, when I went to Morocco, I went with another person who also had a younger kid. And we were talking the entire week, we were like, oh, this is hard, you know. She had a job on the tour.

Yeah, yeah. She had a job on the tour as well. And the last day, Conan decided to leave a day early because we got everything that we need. And so we were slated to leave on Saturday and he's leaving on Friday. And so our producer came up to us and he's like, okay, there's an extra seat if you want it, you know, to go back a day early. And I was like, I think I'm okay. Don't tell my family, but. I think I want to stay an extra day and do nothing in Marrakesh.

Why not? So I did. And I, you know, I don't even know if my husband knows that I could have left a day early. You know? He does now. He does now. And it was just like, just to be able to just swim in a pool and not have to worry about, you know, reapplying sunscreen on my kids or, you know, if my kids are fed or whatever, just taking a day for myself was just really nice. Let me ask you a bunch of questions. I don't know how much time we have left. Are you going to write more books? I don't know. Is that a happy place? Did you enjoy that? I'm so happy when it's done. And when I'm actually holding it, I still can't believe I've written one.

Now I've written two and I can't believe it. And it feels great. If I have more, I don't know. I don't know what it is yet. I mean, when I wrote the world's worst assistant, I kind of had my kids and I kind of knew that there would be a possibility. I would write the world's worst mom. It would just felt normal.

But I don't know what would be next. Okay. Magic one. Yeah. How old you? 43. It turned 44. 10 years from now.

10 years from now. What are you doing? Yeah. I've never been a planner. A planner. A planner. I've never been a planner. For me, it wasn't, for me, I was, I remember when I got into television, I said, I just

want to work in TV. I don't know what I'm doing. I could be working in scheduling. I could be working in research. I could be, you know, assisting someone. I ended up working in events and I loved it. My thing is, If I don't love going into work, I can't do it.

Yeah. And I've been very lucky. And this is since I worked at Burger King when I was 16. I enjoyed it. Yeah. I liked going into Burger King. I liked working there. I had fun.

When they told me to, I got to work at the drive-thru, I was like, I'm going to work on the drive-thru? Are you kidding? I'm the same way around acting. I'll do a commercial. I love it. I'll do whatever, any form of acting. Yes.

Oh, yes, please, yes. And I think that's important. I think if you go into it with a very set kind of idea of what you want to do, it's hard. It's harder. If you want to be a writer, for instance, it's harder to achieve that goal sometimes. But if you are just like, I just want to work in TV and I don't care what I do, I, you know, all these doors open up. And you're like, I'll try that. I'll try that.

I'll go there. I'll do that. And now I'm working in podcasting and I love it. I love coming into work every. day. Me too. I just enjoy it. I really love this. So, you know, in 10 years, I never would have anticipated this is what I'm doing. And so in 10 years, I just hope I'm doing something interesting and that I love to do. But specifically, I have no idea. Whatever comes my way, if it sounds cool. It's so smart, by the way, because law of attraction is not saying that it has to happen this way.

Yeah. It's like this. I want to be happy and content and interested and curious. Yes. Then a whole mess of shit can come through that portal. And it has. And it has. Who's your moral compass? Who's your North Star? How do you know if you're fucking up? Well, how do I know I'm fucking up?

My husband, luckily, is very honest with me. But my parents, my parents. I mean, my mom and dad have been such a constant in my life from, you know, from a birth, obviously. You know, our house burned down in Altadena in, in, in 12. at the Eaton fire. And I didn't even have to text my parents and ask, hey, can we come, can we come over and stay a few nights? I just texted my mom and I said, we got an evacuation warning, we're coming. And I just knew I was going to get there and the beds were going to be done. I knew that they were going to have food for us. You know, I just knew that. And I think that there's

such comfort in knowing that there's always going to be these people in your life. I mean, obviously, there's going to be a point where they pass before me, you know, hopefully for their sake before me. And I think that knowing that they were always a constant has taught me how to be a parent to my kids is to, you know, I'm going to fuck things up. I'm going to mess up stuff. But you're going to be there. But I'm going to be there. I'm always going to be there. If they ever need anything, it's just a, you know, a call or text. We're coming over and I'll have food ready for them and have their beds ready for them. You know, I just want to make sure that I give them what my parents gave me. So, yeah, I mean, if you're talking about a North Star, it's like them and my brother, really, like that sort of core that I grew up with. And now my husband and my kids have sort of taken that over. Is your new home feel like home yet? No, it's a temporary house.

It's in Pasadena, which is great. It's a great place to live. But it's temporary. And now we're building a house, which I've never done before. Yeah. And you know what? It's not fun, Dad. Nothing about it is fun.

How, why is the permitting process isn't fun? Picking out tile isn't fun. I don't like this shit. I don't want to do it, but I have to do it, you know, to pick out sod. You have to tell, I have to figure out what kind of grass. What if this is by choice as opposed to a fire? Would you enjoy it? Or is it any, nothing about the house? No, I don't, I don't want to find a house and I want to, I'll remodel some shit, but I don't want to like build it from scratch. I don't want to watch the foundation being poured. You like it? We're the opposite. Yeah. No. Is your house brand new? No. It's an old house that had to be new found. We had to jack it up to make the foundation and then take it down to the studs and everything. But we had so much fun. It was doing COVID. Oh, okay.

So it had this wonderful creative process to it. Yeah. I mean, I loved my old house. My old house was a really cool house. I mean, talk about Japanese. This guy was a Japanese landscape architect. And so it was the... was his name. Ben Nishiyama was his name. And he, I think he taught at UCLA for a little while, but we fell in love with the house. So I would have liked to have kept that house. 50s? Did you say, was it a 50s? It was like a 62, I think. And it was, it was, it was in a Japanese style. So it was like a Japanese mid-century house. And it was just beautiful, beautiful. Just so nice. and, you know, what we're building now has to be up to code. So the type of roof we had before isn't up to code.

So we have to change that. There's just, it's, but I'm trying to look at the positives. So, you know, that we're going to come into a house and it's going to be just done. And everything's going to be new. And it's going to be. And the way you want it. And that there's something fun about that. So I really just have to look at the positives.

Yeah. You're great. Oh. You're a delight. You're great and you're a delight. And I knew I would love talking to you. And fuck Conan. Fuck that guy.

I hope you know how much I adore him. I just think he's one of the nicest, funniest, smartest, brightest, brightest, brightest caring people I've ever met. Yeah. No, I agree. I love how he leads his life. I 100% agree. And I will say, working for him, the way he takes care of his employees, the way he looks

after people is... Just when you walk... I'm so happy to walk into this building and see all the people here. Yeah. Joe and Nick. It's the most creative, sweet, kind, bright,

effective building and group of people I've ever walked into. Everybody here is a mini Conan. They don't like them. By the way, they don't like it. No one likes him. No, I mean, he's just kind of off-putting as, His personality is just terrible.

And his height. Yeah. Oh, God, his height. You're just so much more pleasant to be around. You know what? If my hair is ever in a button, he just knocks it down. Do you know how much fun he makes of my dad's mustache? Oh, that's rude.

You know more about my dad than he does. And all he knows is my dad has a mustache. Enough to make a joke about it. Yeah. Rude. Yeah, very rude. Very rude. And one time my mom said that he rocked USA and he just won't forget it.

That was like 17 years ago. And he just keeps bringing that up. Yeah. And then he, my husband does karate and he just says that my husband chops the air. So I feel like I would feel more respected if I was here. Yeah, way more. Sorry, I can't even play this game. You're in the right place.

We all have twere him. What an amazing guy. Yeah. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you, really. Very sweet.

Thank you, Sona. You just walked out the door. I had the best time, and now I'm reading the outro, but please know how much fun I had before I get stilted reading this. I'm so glad to have you as a new friend. All right, everybody, pick up a copy of her new book, The World's Worst Mom, coming out September 1st. In the meantime, you can enjoy her first book, The World's Worst Assistant. And catch her every week on the podcast. Conan O'Brien needs a friend and should be grateful having Sona on her show. That should be the name of it. That's it for this week. Special thanks to Team Coco. If you enjoyed this episode, send it to a loved one. Please, subscribe to your favorite podcast app and maybe give us a great rating and review on Apple Podcasts if you're in the mood. If you like watching your podcasts, all our full-length episodes are on YouTube. Visit YouTube.com slash Team Coco. See you next time. Where everybody knows your name.

You've been listening to Where Everybody Knows Your Name with Ted Danson and Woody Harrelson sometimes. The show is produced by me, Nick Leow. Our executive producers are Adam Sacks, Jeff Ross, and myself. Sarah Federovich is our supervising producer, engineering and mixing by Joanna Samuel with support from Eduardo Perez. Research by Alyssa Grawl. Talent booking by Paula Davis and Gina Battista. Our theme music is by Woody Harrelson, Anthony Yen, Mary Steenbergh, and John Osborne.