Where Everybody Knows Your Name with Ted Danson and Woody Harrelson (sometimes) - Will Arnett

Episode Date: June 12, 2024

Ted Danson and Woody Harrelson are reunited, and it feels so... nerve-wracking? For their first episode, the guys are joined by one of the funniest people they know, Will Arnett. Will gives them some podcasting tips from his gilded perch as co-host of the mega-hit podcast Smartless. They also get into Will's extreme Cheers fandom and his winding journey from getting kicked out of boarding school to starring in shows like Arrested Development and Murderville. Bonus: Woody's Gob Bluth impersonation. Like watching your podcasts? Visit http://youtube.com/teamcoco to see full episodes.

I know they're not. Oh, now they're recording. An hour ago. Can we be honest now about, this is our first moment as podcasters. Can I be honest about how nervous I've been like several days in a row and then waking up this morning, I'm literally shaking. Here's the conversation in my head the last couple of days. It goes like this, well, Woody, how have you been? No, no, that sucks. That sucks. So, Woody, looking, no, shit. Because you think it's going to be like stilted, like self-conscious, which kind of interesting at first, but I didn't know what that could mean or anything. And then we got together and we sat around a fire and talked and all of that. And one of the things you said was, the reason why I said yes is so we could hang out together. And that really is the truth, wanting to hang out with each other.

Because I know you from 30 years ago really well, or as much as one does, you know, in that situation. Pretty, pretty well. But I don't know the 30 years since then, really. I mean, we would touch bases once or twice a year and we'd hang out once a year or something. So I'm really looking forward to that. And I'm really looking forward to meeting your friends, you know, the people you've worked with, because you have been very prolific, and it'll be fun to meet them, because I don't know most of them. And I want to introduce you to my friends that I've worked with.

Is prolific a euphemism for whorish? Oh, no! Welcome to Where Everybody Knows Your Name, with me, Ted Danson, and Woody Harrelson. Sometimes. Okay, here we go. As you heard earlier, not only are we going to catch up on life since Cheers, but we're also introducing each other to the friends that we've made since then. Like the title says, this podcast is a place to be known. Anyway, Woody's going to be popping in and out of this show when he isn't in some far-off land doing a play or meditating or milking an oat. And I don't mean goat, I mean oat.

So sometimes it'll be both of us interviewing our guests, and other times it'll be me. This week, I have Woody with me, and we're talking to one of the funniest people alive, Will Arnett. But let me set this up before we start here. Woody was showing me right before Will came one of his favorite scenes from the Fox sitcom Arrested Development, which Will stars in as the Bluth family's magician son, Job. And Woody was going

absolutely, well, you'll see this, but absolutely crazy over the scene from season four, where Job proposes to his girlfriend. And that's why you hear us talking about this at the start. Will is such a lovely guy. And we were able to get into so much cool stuff. His Canadian origins, how he works from a place of mischief, which is weird to me. I work from shame, but anyway, and even his love of cheers. So without further ado, here's a guy Woody and I both love. Meet

Will Arnett. This is really trippy, and I'll tell you why that I'm here. First of all, Ted, we don't know each other, but I've obviously, like the rest of America, feel like I know you well. Woody and I have known each other for a number of years. Not super well, but well enough that he, and as you know, Woody's one of those guys, as soon as you see him walk in the room, you feel better. Yes. Right? Yes. It's true.

Thank you. And I watched you guys watching Arrested Development in here when I was out there. Yes. Yeah. And Ted, what you don't know is I saw that he was watching the scene. My favorite. Which is Woody's favorite scene. I know because he's told me.

And we were once in the south of France and Woody, he reenacted the scene to me at Bono's house. That's a true story, right? Yeah, that's true. To the point that Bono was like mad that we weren't coming to the table. Do you remember? He was like, guys, come on on you can do it at the table true story but that's my favorite thing dude i just love i think it's one of the greatest moments in the history of television well it's one of the funniest things i've ever seen was that one take by the way do you think oh yeah yeah i think i told you it was one of the worst days of my life.

Yeah, like you were having some real struggle that day. I was having a real struggle. I was in the middle of getting divorced. And I had one of those awful days. Yeah. We shot that up in like Santa Clarita. And on the way up there, I pulled my car to the side of the road because I was crying so hard. True story. And I was like, I can't do this. How the fuck, how can I go and do this? up there i pulled my car to the side of the road because i was crying so hard true story and i was

like i was like i can't do this how the how can i go and do this right and then i got there and mitch hurwitz who created and wrote rest of element is a brilliant guy i got there and he's just such a sweetheart of a guy he was like yeah you're gonna be okay man let's just let's just get there you know first of all he's also like yeah we gotta get on the clock we gotta get the, you know, first of all, he's also like, we got to get the day. We got to get the day, right, guy? And then that scene ended up happening. It could have gone better. There was a good deal of improv in the show.

Because you did a lot of improvising in that scene. I mean, you're like, just the thing of like, what? Oh, here he goes. Now I know what Bono was thinking. These questions, what is it? What? Should, should, should, should, should I? Should, should they, should the guy? It was such a, here he goes what he says 32 32 dollars

it's my favorite i've done it a million times in front of people who are like what the fuck is this guy doing like even if they've watched it they don't remember and it's out of context they're like come on man you know that scene was a combination of, first of all, we had, and you guys have been there before, where I had the benefit of such great writing. So I was the beneficiary of that all the time on that show. And that particular gag of Job stuttering, there should, should, should, had, was a callback to a thing that he used to have from a few seasons before. So I get there to do that scene. The only thing that sort of occurred to me in the moment

that I improvised in the moment was the idea that I was wearing her housecoat and she was wearing my shirt. So I thought it was kind of funny if I started saying should, should, and I started making her the value of, usually it came from a bit where I used to say in the old show, in the earlier episode, should the guy in the 45, should the, should the guy in the 40, $4,500 suit take it from the guy who hasn't made that much in a month? And then I'm mad, right? And I'm pumping myself up. And I thought it'd be funny if she's wearing my shirt that I start pumping up her shirt

and also devaluing her frock that I'm wearing. Anyway, one of the great episodes of television ever. Well, so this is what I want. Thank you. I mean, and also on behalf of Mitch Hurwitz, I'm lucky to have been a part of it. But what I want to talk to you guys about and talk about great episodes of TV, I think you know, and Woody, I think I've told you that I'm maybe the world's sort of preeminent Cheers fan of all time.

Oh, thank God. Oh, thank God. Of fucking all time. I am. Thank you. I have spent the last few months working on this, on this thing. And I was like, I got to go back and rewatch as much Cheers as I can. Cause I was always such a fan. And I've been watching all these episodes for the last few months. Well, long before I knew

I was going to be here with you guys. Not to prepare, but because of something you're about to go do. Yeah. Because for me, it's the gold standard of television sitcoms. It was it. And I made my son watch this scene last night, my 12-year-old, who's a funny kid, Abel. And I said, come watch this scene because it is the perfect meeting of great writing, great directing, and tremendous performance. And it was episode 25, season 4, which is so crazy. Wow. Episode 25. You do have a great memory. Go on.

Well, I just saw it last night, in fairness. There's so many great moments in it. You and Shelley Long, Ted, have this huge argument, and she's going to quit. She's had it. You're dating the woman who's the politician. Right. And she's told you she's jealous, and she's told you to get rid of Diane and Shelly Long goes, and you guys

are all standing there and Shelly, and I've mentioned this scene to, to Jimmy before, because I think to me, you guys go, uh, you have this huge argument and she storms out of your office and you're at the bar and you come out to the bar and, and Shelly Long goes to the argument. She storms out of your office. And you're at the bar. And you come out to the bar. And Shelley Long goes to the top. She goes to the door. And Carla is standing just at one of the tables. But behind, there's a little divide. There's sort of like divide, coat rack, door.

Carla's standing there real permanent. And Shelley Long gives this long-winded sort of farewell to the troops. But lo, I've tried my best and et cetera, et cetera. And so yet you shall never see Diane Chambers in cheers again. I bid you farewell. And everybody's like, what? And she walks out the door. And then the door opens a little bit.

And her hand comes in. And she starts reaching for her coat at the coat rack. And Rhea Perlman grabs the coat rack and just pulls it a little bit. And she just said, you'll never see me again. Hand, hand, hand, hand. And she falls into frame, and Rhea Perlman goes, hey, look, everybody, it's Diane. Odds are pretty good that was Jimmy's bits too Jimmy is the best at physical bits so good at physical bits but but also you have to have people who are willing and

able to do it yeah and so much of the time everybody in that cast just delivered I can't believe it I watched that and I just, I marvel at it. I think like, that to me feels perfect. Like when you hear a song that has that perfect melody and you're like, and it gets you in a place of like,

really, really satisfies you. Watching Cheers really satisfies me. I go, yep, the rhythm is perfect. The thing, the delivery is perfect of the line. Just all of it. Even the set was great. The delivery is perfect of the line. Just all of it. Even the set was great. The set was amazing. Because we got to do theater.

Everyone was alive. Everyone was on camera in the background or in front or whatever. Incredible. And even if you had to go to the back thing and you had to go to your office, you had all those pieces, but it was all right there. And it's all lit. And it's all lit. And you came in, what, season four?

Yeah. At the start of season four, which I just rewatched that episode of your first episode. After losing kind of the heart and soul, Nick Colosano, who died, and he was the heart and soul of Cheers and in walks Woody. And in five seconds, it's captured everybody's heart. It was really amazing. It really is. Yeah, Woody. That's nice of you to say.

It's true. It's true. I imagine you keep winking at me now. It wasn't true. No, I'm kidding. No. He can't see this eye. He can't see the word sitting.

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with unlimited talk and text compared to T-Mobile and Verizon's lowest-cost single-line post-paid unlimited talk and text compared to T-Mobile and Verizon's lowest cost single line postpaid and limited talk text and data plans January 2024. So we're here to learn because you do have one of the best podcasts. Dude, I think I've heard, I've watched or heard over a hundred episodes. Really? Without question. Yeah. I mean, like literally I have to wait for the next one to come out

in order to, because I've heard everything. Wow. Wow. I love it. You guys are the tippy top of the tippy top. It's so great, man. It's so funny. And also great interviewers, you know,

like you really do great interviews, even though supposedly two of you don't know the guy coming on. We legit don't. We legit don't. Really don't. We legit don't. I'm not sure. Hey, listen, you got to stay with that narrative.

I will tell you this morning, I did one this morning and I was worried that I logged on too early. And I thought, I actually thought, I don't want to see the person because I like the surprise. Yeah. Uh, and then I don't feel, you know, when you don't know who it is, you don't feel compelled to do anything. Yeah. Other than just be in the moment and have a conversation. What do you think we should be focusing on as new podcasters? If you had any advice, seriously, because I can't believe anybody would ask me for advice. I'm writing this down. It's going to be short. You know, when we started doing it, we just wanted to talk to each other and have fun. And that was kind of really it just to kind of screw around.

And we couldn't believe that people wanted to hear that. And I think one of the things that made it maybe work was the fact that we are just very open about what's going on in our lives. And if you do that and you're not putting on a persona, you know, whether that's good, bad, or indifferent, it works. moments all of us and also you need to have really good editor right who calls you and says hey last week you said blah blah are you sure i'm like yeah yeah don't cut that cut that um now you guys aren't in the room together are we're never in the room well see that's where we're different yeah i like the energy it's nice it is nice it really is yeah for us i'm not saying we're better than you guys no i'm just saying we're in the room it feels like you're saying you're better than us well you're not in the room it feels like it's a long way to say you're better the advantage that we have that you guys have is that you've

known each other a long time and that's why i think we both wanted to do this was because we knew each other so well for eight years that we were on the show together but then 30 years have gone by and we'd see each other once or twice a year because of life and all of that so i don't really know woody i know my heart and how much i love him but i haven't really caught up with him and so this is like this great no what he means we haven't caught we will let me be honest just just a real thin slice ted do you think you think what he means. We haven't covered it in 30 years. Let me be honest. Just a real thin slice, Ted. Do you think Woody's changed? This is one of those awkward moments.

He's bound to have. Yeah. Yeah, no doubt. Yeah, he's bound to have. No doubt. In a good way. Good, good, good, good way. Yeah.

Thanks for that question. No, I mean, yeah. I like the honesty of it, the integrity of it. Yeah, sure. I don't have a ton of integrity, but it comes out every once in a while. God, I just want to talk about Cheers. I know you guys are going to be bummed out if all I want to do is talk about Cheers. I want to talk about you a little bit because I wanted to ask you about your mom who was supportive of you.

You know, that's pretty rare. A lot of moms are going to be like, there's no way you're going in the show, but you're not going to be an actor. My parents were very, I grew up fairly, I mean, Canadian, but fairly conservative ish. You know, my dad for many years was a, was a corporate lawyer. And then he went into business for, you know, one of his clients. And, but my mom always, I think that she, she had done some theater in Toronto, even when, after she'd had kids, she'd done some stuff, kind of what you would be considered to be sort of off Broadway. And so when I showed an inclination for this and nothing else, when it turned out, I was good at nothing. Uh, except for goofing off, I think that they were like, okay, great. Well, at least he's interested in this. Let's support him. And I got to give it, so credit, yeah, to my mom and to my dad too, because this was really far away from what he did. Right. He was like, worked at Molson.

He did. At the end of his career, he was, yeah, he ran Molson. But he was like a corporate lawyer. He was a corporate lawyer and then he was on the board of Molson and then he ended up being, yeah, CEO of Molson. So none of your family

had any kind of, well, you said your mom, but real, you didn't have an example in your family of, oh, this is about.

Not really. I had my cousins, my mom's cousin and her husband were quite accomplished theater actors and television and film in Canada, Nancy Pollock and her husband, Joe. And so they, I got to see a little bit of that. And they were always at the Shakespeare Festival and Shaw Festival up in, you know, in and around Toronto. And, you know, very accomplished actors, but, but in terms of sort of this kind of the major leagues showbiz, no, you know, I moved to New York in, in 1990, when I was 20, I didn't know a single person. Um, and so it was, yeah, it was scary, you know, in a way, but I also was really excited about, about getting out into the world. I I'd gone to college for half a year and I quit because I thought,

I just, I saw people going down the same route and I was like, I don't want to go and do that. I don't want to be a lawyer. I don't want to be an investment banker. I don't want, and a lot of people I knew had, have gone to do that. And by the way, that's what they enjoy. So that's great. And I remember my buddy, Jimmy Vallely. I don't know if you know jimmy i quote him all the time he's actually you're talking about he's a writer yeah yeah the great super funny great friend of bill jim valily yeah good friend of bill mars yeah yeah and he's mentioned her with the writing partner he's genius a genius guy he said he said so many funny things to me over the years i actually told told a story about Jim Valley on Conan's podcast a couple of years ago that, cause he knows, but anyway, Jimmy said, yeah, it always

circles back to Conan, but go ahead. He's everywhere. He's watching us through these cameras. Yeah. Um, he said to me, he said, you know, there's a lot of people say, you know, you've got nothing left to lose if you, if you come from nothing and you, you try out and showbiz. And he was like, I think it's the opposite. You might as well. He's like, you, again, I'm not puffing myself up, but he was like, you had more of a path and the thing that you could have gone down and you decided to take a, take a leap and do, and try to do this. And I, and I think that that's probably a lot scarier. Um, and it was something to take a chance. Yeah. But I'm just saying like, if you'd gone left instead of right, I always think about how much your life changes just based on things that you might not even think

were good at the time. Like you got kicked out of a boarding school for being a troublemaker, which brought you to the school where you got into theater, right? That's right. Absolutely right. So you probably thought at the time you got kicked. Ah, fuck. Can you be more specific about the removal of you from board? Well, I was asked not to return. And I know it seems like semantics, but it's really important to me. You know what's funny is that years later,

they would include me in the alumni list. And I'm like, oh, now you love me. You know what's funny? Years later, they would include me in the alumni list. And I'm like, oh, now you love me. Oh, I'm not. Come to our fundraiser. Yeah, please. Yeah, I was just a, you know, I was a pain in the ass kid. I was a smart ass and I was, you know, smoking butts and drinking beers and doing whatever. And they didn't like that. In high school? Yeah. Oh, yeah. It was Canada, man. Right. You know know anything kind of goes and and uh so i left there and i yeah i moved back to toronto and i ended up getting into theater uh a little bit in toronto and kind of understanding that there was a whole world out there that was the beginning and yeah you never know i've told this story a million times i got cancer i got fired off a i did a pilot at cbs in 2002 um 12 years after moving

to new york 12 years out and i'd done a few pilots before that i'd done like four or five up right up to that point um and sort of pilots and indie films in new york that were kind of didn't really go anywhere and but just you know grinding it out, broke, broke, broke, broke, broke. And I get this pilot and it gets picked up to series. And I, they call me and say, you're not getting picked up. You're not going to series with it. They're, yeah, they're firing you. And then that role doesn't exist anymore and have a good one. And I was, I was so bummed out. And that was the summer of 2002. And Amy had been on SNL. That was just the tail end of her first year.

And you guys were together? And we were together in New York. And so I was like, you know what? Screw it. So I ended up starting to do this play. And I was in rehearsal for this play with the new group. And I just thought, you know what? I'm done. I'm never going to do this play and I was in rehearsal for this play with the new group. And I just thought, you know what? I'm just, I'm done. I'm never going to do TV again. Boy, they're going

to be really bummed that I'm not doing TV. The world's going to be so upset. And I, and I got a call from the woman who is the same casting director from the pilot. She'd written me a letter when I got fired saying, I think they made a mistake. Deb Borilski, I don't know if anybody remembers her, amazing casting director in TV out here in LA. It's a really sweet lady. And she wrote me this really nice handwritten note and said, I think that, you know, don't take it too hard. I think you're a great kid and blah, blah, blah guy or whatever. And six months later, she called my manager and she said, I'm casting this show. And I think that Will would be great for it.

And he said, you know, he's going to do this play. And I think that he doesn't, he's still so sort of butthurt from last year. And I'd been on pilots that almost went, I'd been on shows that are canceled after two episodes. I'd been like, you know, just nonstop for years, for years. And I was like, fuck it. I can't take it again man i just you know your nervous system gets a point you just feel like never gonna happen and she said please just have them read this thing and i told the producers he'd be great and it was arrested development wow

and if i hadn't been fired going to your point if i hadn't been fired that year before i wouldn't have been available because that show ended up being on the air for a few years. Right. I wouldn't have been able to be available for the thing I was destined for me that I thought destined to do. What was that audition process like? What was you getting Arrested Development like? Again, I was like, yeah, all right. Yeah, I guess I'll go read for this.

In L.A.? I was in New York. So they faxed me. I got the pages faxed to me. I didn't even have a full script. And just like a character or a sort of a description, a summary of the plot.

I was like, okay. Yeah, all right. And I remember I took the subway up to read and I came home. That was like on a, let's say like on a Wednesday. By Thursday or Friday, they called and said,

it was the same studio of the show that I'd been canceled before, not the same network. Yeah. That was CBS, but it was the same studio. It was 20th. So I did know the people, and it was the third year in a row I was up for something at 20th.

And they called and they said, yeah, they want to bring you in. They want you to come to California and read for the studio at least and probably test for the network. And for people who don't know, what you do is, you guys know, you sign a contract before you go in for your final network test, a five-year contract, so that if they like what you did, you can't hold them up. You can't hold

them up. They can't go, we want you for the job. You go, great. Well, now I want a million dollars an episode. They're like, no, you sign for whatever it is you negotiate before your final thing, which really messes with you when you're kind of a broke young actor, because that you've signed a contract and you see the dollar amount, you're broken. You're like, that money is so close to me now. I'm maybe going to get out of this apartment so soon, you know? And so I flew out to LA and I remember I read, and it was the Russo brothers who've gone on to make all the great Avengers movies and stuff. And it was the Russos and Mitch Erwitts. And another actor? Yeah. And there were a couple other actors reading for the part at that point. And then eventually when we went to network the next couple of days later on the Monday,

it was me. And I've told this before, and I, a guy who I have respect a lot and I think is amazing Rainn Wilson and Alan Ruck from, from succession, right? Isn't it a succession? I haven't watched that, but I know that he plays the brother on that. Oh, he's great. he's great so it's the three of us reading for that for that part of job unarrested and i had a miserable cold another one of those things that helped me keep out of my head because i was just so miserable yeah that i couldn't how long did you have to wait to find out i went in red alan went in after me I'd gone into like flash water in my face

because I was feeling kind of terrible. And as I came out, Mitch came out. And again, I've told this before and I don't mean to belabor it or cause him any...

He doesn't care, I'm sure. But rain was still waiting and Mitch Hurwitz came out and he goes, you got it. To? Like that. To you?

To me. And I said, cool, rain still hasn't gone in yet. He's right there, the other guy. I didn't know him at the time. Yeah. I knew him because he'd done Six Feet Under and I thought he was cool. But anyway.

But that was the first time he saw you in person, Mitch? Yeah, that weekend was the first time. Wow. And he was like, it was so funny. It was such a, just immediately we we just bonded you know and we're still close to this day but it was you've had that too i'm sure you guys have it right here like you just meet and you have this thing and you're like we're speaking the same language which is really cool right yeah for sure i remember coming in to do that you know

teddy comes in he's got like he had like a some i don't know coke or something but probably something bad fast food uh yeah container you're like drinking out of it you're just so relaxed no i don't remember the cigarette but i but you were just so cool and hey how you doing you know and and the ease with which you could just pick up the script and just be fucking great. And I was in awe of you. I still am. Say that again. Were you doing that?

I still am in awe of you. I do buy it. It seemed very legit. It's funny you mentioned Ted's ease because I watch not just the blocking in Cheers, but I watch the body language. And everybody's character is so well-defined on Cheers. That's what's so beautiful about it. Beautifully written. Really, really well-written.

Ted, you had so many different ways. First of all, you're a tall man, and you're taller than everybody else in the cast. And you often had to be at the bar or against the bar. So you had different ways of leaning and getting low so you were at the same angle. So you'd lean. Your ease with which you popped open the soda water was just phenomenal. You would do it in ways that I just watch them work. You know what I mean?

Yeah, absolutely. Remember he did that? He'd sort of pop up and he'd start talking and blah, blah, blah. And then he'd lean and then he'd lean against the thing. But you know what made that easy for all of us to do is we were always on camera, always on that stage for an entire episode. Rarely were you not active. Right.

Even if the scene didn't revolve around you. Because it's so. so you lived on that stage you really did you really did make it your home and all but the ease with which you moved and everything you looked like a great athlete which i tell you was great acting yeah i mean that's nothing great act is that true as a kid as a kid come baseball time it was no no no no we had ted last time you have to take him this time is that true no true basketball i loved i thought i was going to be a basketball player went to stanford try didn't try out i walked to the court and didn't even step onto the court and looked around and went oh shit, shit. Okay. All right. Plan B.

Can we help you with something, sir? No, no, no. I'm just making sure that all the. That's so funny. It's kind of like, it's like, it's like Henry, when you meet Henry Winkler and you're like, the first time you're like, oh, here's the Fonz. He's like, now, what can I get you? What are you doing?

How are you? Sit over here. Let me get you a chair. And you're like, Jesus, I want to meet the Fonz, man. You know what I mean? Sure. He me get you a chair. And you're like, Jesus, I want to meet the Fonz, man. You know what I mean? Sure. He's the sweetest guy. He's the sweetest man I know, I think.

Yeah. God, there's so many things about that. I can't believe, A, Ted, that you did move like an athlete so well. Jimmy Burrows helped me. Really? By saying, and it got me a lot of close-ups, too. Just reach down and grab yourself periodically in the nuts. And, you know, athletes, for some reason, touch themselves a lot.

Did he really? He did say that. Yeah. Yeah, he did. I see. I heard a new, speaking of, new thing last night, I got a term, BDE. Have thing last night. I got a term. BDE.

Have you guys heard of it? BDE. No. Big Dick Energy. Sure. Yeah, yeah. I don't know if you're able to say things like that. Big Dick Energy.

They said it. Cool. I always say, yes, I've heard of it. But he has that. But can you pump in closer with that camera over there? Go ahead, Woody. I'm sorry. I interrupted.

I mean, he's a real leady man. Yeah., Woody. I'm sorry. I interrupted. I mean, he's a real lady. Yeah. No, he had the BD for sure on that show. And I have BSE. I'm trying to know. Big snuggle energy. Hey. The ladies love it.

It's working. Yeah. Can I ask another silly acting question? Where do you, if you had to say, where do you work from? What inside of you? I work from shame, basically. Is that true? For some strange reason, I got a lot of shame.

And it serves me well as far as energizing me. I'm kind of being funny, but not completely. There's something to that. Where do you work from? Do you know what I mean? Yeah. I think I work from the same place that got me kicked out of boarding school, which is mischief. Yeah. Yeah. I find mischief to be really fun. And I don't really, I'm not really blue in that way, but I, but I love, I like when there are constraints on me. It's funny you say that about in a straight thing. I like it even comedically. I like being in a situation that you're not supposed to say something

and seeing how far you can. I can't. Yeah. That's why I used to love being on talk shows. I used to love going on, on Conan all the time. You are a master. On Letterman. It was, well, but it was fun because I know what that line is and like what is acceptable and what can you infer before standards and practices cut your bit. I got, now I want to get into it. What was it like being on the number one sitcom in the world back in the 80s where there was no social media there was no tmz bullshit was it just the fucking best it was really fun it was yeah it was right yeah

yeah it really it yeah it was rock and roll you're allowed to say it you're this is a safe space yeah well he was quite uh tied up in a way, but yeah, it was rock and roll. Marriage. Oh, you were married. Okay. Kids. Yeah. Yeah. Been there. Sure. Still, you guys were on cheers, like one of the great companies of all time. And again, in a time where there were people weren't out to pull you down now the game is let's put people up there and let's see let's get the snipers out and see who can take the best first shot at it right it wasn't like that back then right yeah it's gotten very cynical if it if it was there if it were that we didn't know about it yeah like we do now yeah you know what the our saving graces we had jimmy lesson glenn we had writing we had cast members that

were all really interesting and everyone it was so whatever that if someone was an asshole for a week they couldn't last right being an asshole because everyone would turn and go, hey, knock it off. So we didn't, well, I guess we did get high and mighty, didn't we? A little bit. Well, you never did that I saw. I felt like I did. You know, that's the worst thing about fame. You know, it's great. It's fantastic.

Everybody coming up. You're great, man. You're great. And then as soon as you start believing it, oh, there's the slippery slope. It's great when you're standing in line somewhere and they're like, hey, come on in. Right. Yeah, that's when it's great. And like you said, yeah, it's great.

What's terrible about somebody saying, hey, man, I love you. I think that you're the greatest. That's amazing. That's amazing. It feels really good. But you're right i always think about there are certain sort of comedians or comedic actors i think about who people go what happened to that guy and i always think that the moment that you think that you've got it all

figured out is the moment you've lost it and i always think that to myself you never you've never got it you're never gonna have cause there is no it. It's a constantly, right? The world and everything is constantly changing and you've got to sort of stay open and, and keep looking for new ways to, Ted, I think about this, about what you've done all the time. Both you guys have gone from there, from Cheers. You've had no fewer than five hit television shows since then than i can think of you becker good place you had damages damages i forgot about damages uh the one with the uh board to death board to death board i love that one with zach and yeah this is great podcast by the way no but it's true and you made all those movies you know you get all those curb episodes not

curb episodes made tons of movies in between woody you made a million movies and limited series and comedies and dramas and i get the sense that both you guys don't feel like you've got it figured out so maybe you had a moment where you thought you were a big shot, but I don't buy it. It's a little bit of the actor's illness. You never think you're good enough. You always feel a little bit like an imposter. You always don't think you're going to get another job.

Yeah. I mean, I don't think that goes away. Let's heap some praise onto you. Oh, yeah. Before you heap the praise, can I ask you guys a question? Yeah. Do you ever have that thing when you're in a room with a bunch of Hollywood types and you feel kind of like the— It's my life.

Yeah, you don't feel like you belong. Like you were just saying. Totally. Imagine that you walk into these parties and I felt like there was a number on a piece of paper that stuck to my back, my ranking in Hollywood. Come on, really? Yes. And you'd sit there and you'd reach around and go, fuck, 1,200? Really? I'm the 1,200th?

No. You never had that, did you? Not really. You're like, I belong in this room and everybody loves me. Not only do I belong, but these fucking people are the worst. They're so untalented. I can't believe how lucky all these motherfuckers are. This person can barely read.

This person can barely speak. That's so healthy. I love that. You're like, I own this room. I fucking kill it. No, you do have those things. I mean, I love that. You're like, I own this room. I fucking kill it. No, you do have those things. I mean, I've gone through very, again, I think that it's one of the benefits of getting older

that I just put less value on shit like that. And there was a time coming off Arrested Development, if I'm being totally honest, where I thought that I was going to have, where I had a lot of opportunity and I felt like I squandered it, which reminds me, I got to fire my manager today. And I've had those moments where I was like, I could have had this, or I could have had that. And I didn't. And I always remind myself that I'm on my path. The universe is always taking care of me. Yeah. So whatever that's going to be, and I don't know what is coming for me, but it's fucking great.

And it is right around the corner. And you know how I know that? Because it always has been. So I just got to bank on that. It's the only thing, that's kind of the only faith I really have. You and Dax Shepard, to me, are both brilliant. Sobriety, I think, plays a big part in who you are. Yeah.

And it does with Dax. I'm assuming you talk freely about it, and if not, I apologize. No, no, I do. I do. But what it gives you, besides your natural, brilliant, funny, fast mind, you also have a humility and a curiosity about you. That's really cool, man. But deep down a quitter. Thank you. Usually my, I was laying pipe for Woody. I knew, I knew he was going to be there.

It's so true. It's so true. So lame. I know it is true. Well, I think, you know, I've, I've had my ass kicked a couple of times in every different way. And yeah, I've talked about my sobriety and I made this show. Flaked was sort of about it and about my, and I talked openly about going back out again and all that kind of stuff. And life is complicated. It's not a straight line. I'm learning as I go. I'm half of the bag now you know be so good

it's like fuck I think he's drinking I'm so sorry I brought it up I'm so sorry no wonder you felt so uncomfortable when Teddy brought up

the sobriety yeah man I'm really sober I'm really sober love sobriety I love it maybe sometimes my confidence is

unwarranted you know like undeserved. But at the same time, I do really just think about like, you know, it's that stupid thing of like, we're all just people. And so those people that we sort of put on the thing, we think through this, or you go into a social situation,

I'm like, I guarantee you, they're thinking about the number ranking system worse than you are. Yeah. Always. Yeah. I bet Ted's a great ad in any social situation. Well, you would think.

By comparison. But he does start to fade into the, if he gets a little high, you start to just back off. I literally the other day told Woody that I would would join him for lunch but you go ahead i'll catch up with you which is what i said every night at cheers at the end of cheers i'll catch up and i never did i just went home home and you literally thought i wasn't going to come to lunch the other day i didn't think you were coming remember when you came in i'm like he actually came this is the first time this has ever happened why because they were all going out after and getting drinks and having fun, and you just went home.

Maybe it's not shame that I work from. It's fear. I work from fear. But we hung a little while after the show. We'd play foosball and have a drink and whatever. But then he would. Then it'd be like, we're going to this place, like a bar. And he'd be like, yeah, no, I'm coming.

I'll see you over there. I guess I could claim I had two very young children that I had to wake up for. Yeah, that's fair enough. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's just mature. Are you still, I remember you used to be an Ojai guy. I'd heard that. Are you still an Ojai guy?

Yeah, very much. Mary raised her kids up there. She was married to Malcolm McDowell. They had their two kids charlie and lily and um yeah we've almost and then charlie is with the lily and then lily is with charlie wait what happened mary has two kids lily and charlie lily got married to charlie walton so it was lily charlie charlie and then charlie mcdowell met and married uh lily collins so now it's charlie lily charlie lily isn't that wild yeah wild a lot of fun confusion that's so great you're from california right kind of yeah born but then arizona i've

googled you i've googled you thank you've Googled you, Ted. A few times. I always say to people when they say like, so what's your thing? I go, you haven't fucking Googled me, motherfucker. Let me ask you this. Have you Googled? You haven't IMDB'd me. This is truth. Yeah.

Have you Googled yourself recently? No, and I have not. And that came up recently in somebody. I have before, of course. And I've looked at my Wikipedia. We talked about this because Thoreau, we always talk about Thoreau's Wikipedia and Kimmel has changed both Thoreau

and Krasinski's Wikipedia before. You can just go on and change it? Yeah, I think so. Like it'll last for like an hour. I think he did it to Thoreau. Forget what he did. I think he said that he was a crier when he ejaculated. And I'm just using medical terms now just so I won't get in trouble.

And it lasted for like a couple hours or something, but long enough. Woody, are you here now you mean in the room i don't understand the question you're always like you're here now i'm here now ted's here now all right like are you in hawaii you're in hawaii a lot these days you're still doing that oh i'm texas and and hawaii texas and hawaii Now you say Texas like you were born and raised in Texas. You're not. I was. I was born in Texas. No, I got it. You thought that because...

Who did you not Google? I'm not ready for you. Listen, my character was from Indiana. Sure. I wasn't from Indiana. I did go to college, Hanover, the Harvard of the Midwest. Seriously, where'd you grow up? I grew up in Texas and Ohio.

Where in Texas? Midland. I was born and grew up in Houston starting when I was three. Damn, Woody, I didn't know that. Yeah, no, it's fine. It doesn't matter. Everybody thinks I'm from Indiana or something, but that's fine. I like Indiana.

What was the town that you were from? Was it Hanover? Is it a town that Woody's from in Cheers? Yeah. It's Hanover, and he was always a Midlander. Well, it was.? Is it a town that Woody's from in Cheers? Yeah. It's Hanover and he was always a minute. Well, it was. They had it called Podunk or something. And I said, can we call it Hanover?

Because that's where I went to college. And they were like, yeah, sure. Yeah. They're like, what? Yeah, man, whatever you want. Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, K-E-L-L-Y. One of my favorite moments. Right?

One of my favorites. Oh, Woody. I love that too. Oh, so fucking woody uh i love that too uh so fucking great so i love that and then i used to love um the episode where you and coach go back to college and he and it's not coach oh when i went yeah yeah oh whoa when those guys yeah oh memorized. He had this. Albania. Albania. You border on the Adriatic. Your land is mostly mountainous.

And your chief export is chrome. I know that from the 80s. I remember that. That's amazing. That fucked up. That's incredible. Did you guys, so there must have been a lot of years where you didn't see each other. Were there?

Or would you always stay? We'd like see each other once a year, twice a year, or, you know, at least every other year. You know, like sometimes you're just like, he's doing his thing, I'm doing my thing. Isn't that weird how you, someone who you love, you work with, you had the greatest time of your life, your family, and then suddenly now it's like, I haven't seen you, what, five years? Yeah. Yeah. It is nuts.

How often does that happen? You've had that. Yeah, I've had that. It's weird. And I remember Krasinski, I remember when The Office ended. It was really a tough time for him because they were so, they'd done it for eight years or whatever. And I remember watching him go through that in that way of being,

I was like trying to, how do you, you're with these people all the time in a very pressure-packed situation. You know, you've got to, everything you do

is being consumed by everybody, being watched by everybody. And that bonds you and it's great and it's very emotional and then it's over, like you said. And then you're like, all right, later wait yeah you know your intention is to see them later

not much later and then suddenly you know you do a few projects and it's like oh two years went by yeah life life happens but i think that's why it's great that you guys are doing this and this me too that's i think really why we are quite psyched and i want to meet i you know i'm really looking for woody knew you so it was and i didn't and so woody gets to introduce me to you you to me and i'm i really love that idea of meeting his friends and doing this i was so excited about coming here i can't even tell you guys i mean really apart from having to drive east you know and i don't want to bring i don't want to belabor it i don't want to bring it up you know east of the 405 that's pretty rare i mean it's very rare for me you guys i hate driving but i

did drive here in a brand new gmc sierra oh i forgot gmc i have to mention that just if we have to keep that yeah. A great vehicle. It's a tremendous vehicle. Uh-huh. Electric? Do they have electric yet? They do. The new GMC All Electric is coming out this year. Oh, but that's not what you're driving.

Not yet. You're pushing out some fumes. Yeah, well, I'm just, you know, I'm just like, I'm just a working stiff, man. You got to promote. I got to promote. Working stiff. What is your yearly? I mean, what are you pulling down?

Just curious. My yearly income? Well, yeah. I mean. I don't know. I mean. Let me just think. Let's talk about that.

Carry the zero. Hey, let me just count the zeros one more time. I lost count. One, two, three, four. Comma. One, two, three, four, comma, one, two, three, four, comma. Look at that sweet podcast money, man. You know? Yeah.

We don't know about that. We're not sure about the money. We think he's going to probably, Conan's going to sack us. Yeah, after the year, or right before the end of the year, because you don't make money the first year. That's what they told us. I don't know if that's true. don't make money the first year. That's what they told us. Yeah. I don't know if that's true. Did you make money the first year?

Yeah. Moment one. What did they tell you guys? We're getting fucked, dude. No, you're not getting fucked. It's this Conan group. They're all together. These are Conan people, by the way.

No, I know. You know what I mean? You don't want to say anything negative about it. No. How come they're saying wrap it up now? No, it's okay. You know what's okay? The Conan people is they, and I brought this up before, they

all have such a tough time working for them, so they're fine. They're always going to be on our side. Do you imagine having to work for Conan? Oh, no. He's mean. He's mean. He's rough. Rough. That dude is rough. But you're EPing

a lot of shit. Yeah, man. I got my fingers. And listen, everybody's. How do you do the pitch? What do you do? You go in there and you say, you have to do this because, and you give them one line. I walk in and I just go, I look at these executives and I go, look, here's the deal. Everybody's going to wet their beak on this one.

Okay. And that's their language. And they're like we're in we're in we like the guys suggesting that we're gonna wet our beaks uh no you know it's been uh yeah it's been fun kind of doing other stuff and i do this lego stuff and we're doing we're producing all these these. And then you're doing Murderville, which I really love that. You improvise it. Yeah. It's great. Murderville based on this English format, murder and success. Phil, we had luck, a lot of luck and bring that over the great Tom Davis. Uh, let us kind of bring it over here and try our hand at doing a version of it. And what it is, is, is a, uh, we bring a guest on and they have no idea what's going to happen. And I play this cop, Terry Seattle. We're trying to solve a murder every episode.

It's crazy. Conan came and did it. God, we had so many awesome people. Marshawn Lynch, my buddy Marshawn, who I adore. And what is their job? Is their job to be straight and try to figure it out? Yeah, and we go from set to set. We have it all pre-read.

We have all the sets built on one stage, and we just take them through, and they have no idea what's going to happen next. And you mean you shoot it all in one go? Well, the first take is the most important because that's the... Yeah. We'll do a second take sometimes for exits and entrances and stuff like that.

Yeah, yeah. But really, it's that first take and getting their first reaction. You find a clue. We walk in, and we see a body that's been impaled or whatever, and you're like, what do you think's happening? What should we do? And they're been like impaled or whatever. And you're like, what do you think is happening?

What should we do? And they're like, I don't know. And you know, crazy shit happens. Do you keep them giggling, laughing? Yeah. Oh, all of it. Yeah, yeah. People break.

They crack up all the time. Yeah, it's a crazy show. Is there anything else you'd like to plug before you go? I mean, you know, this is never going to air, but would you like to plug anything? This is not going to air?

We didn't decide if we're even doing, or I mean, Conan hadn't decided whether to access. There's no, there's nothing, nothing else for me to promote other than just, you know, kindness and generosity and spirit and open spirit. See, I took that to heart. He's laughing, but I. Ah, man, that's beautiful dude just so great you're here and i have such admiration for you dude i mean you know a guy who got uh what about 52 pilots canceled and kicked out of school shows young school you know

you're a guy who's definitely should be a loser by all intents and purposes. Of course. On paper, I'm a loser. Just the bare bones of it on paper, the architecture of it. But then, boom, you just keep succeeding. You can't kill a weed. That's what I always attribute it to. You can't kill a weed.

You are so kind and sweet to come here. Yeah, to. You can't kill a weed. You are so kind and sweet to come here. Yeah, man. No, it's so great. And I know we opened with it. I'm such a fan of, and you know this, I'm such a fan of both you guys. You can tell when the people are the, like I said before, when they're like, oh, we're speaking the same language. And at least spiritually are. Not to sound too kind of out there.

But I've always got that from you guys, and I've always admired you guys and really looked up to you guys as much older gentlemen. But all jokes aside, I've truly admired what both of you guys have done for real. For a guy like me, super inspirational and aspirational too. So thank you. I mean it. Thank you. I mean it.

Thanks. Yeah. And vice versa, dude. I love what you're doing and you've made me laugh a zillion times. Oh my God. I love Flake too. Oh, thanks, bro. I mean, everything you do, you're amazing, man.

I really, you just fill the screen. You light it up. The camera loves you and you're just always fucking crushing it and uh so thank you and thank you for the funniest thing i've ever seen on television to this day i still go crazy for that and by the way anytime you want to come to my dispensary the woods 8271 santa monica to shoot on down there. I'd love to come by. It goes well with sobriety. Yeah, it's really good. I'm going to bring my sponsor.

You just sit there and bring your sponsor. You don't have to. You got CBD, right? You got CBD. By the way, if you get hot box, that's not the same as in Bybee. That's right. That's right. You get a pass.

And CBD is okay. I'm not like a holy roller when it comes to that stuff. CBD is okay. Let me ask you, are you a hugger? Yeah. Are we going to hug? Let's hug it out. Hug it out, and also next time I see you, I feel like I can hug you.

You can always hug me. Are you kidding? There you go. Thanks so much to Will Arnett for being such an amazing guest and an even better person. I have to admit, I was a little nervous because he is so fast and so funny that I was a little intimidated when I thought about sitting down and talking to him. And I wasn't, and he wasn't.

It was a real treat. So thank you, Will. That's it for this week's show. Special thanks to Woody for being here. And thanks to our friends at Team Coco. If you like this episode, tell a friend or better yet, subscribe to this show wherever you get your podcasts. You can leave us a review on Apple Podcasts if you're feeling generous. And the key word there is generous. We will have more for you next time where everybody knows your name.

See ya. You've been listening to Where Everybody Knows Your Name with Ted Danson and Woody Harrelson sometimes. The show is produced by me, Nick Liao. Executive producers are Adam Sachs, Colin Anderson, Jeff Ross, and myself. Sarah Federovich is our supervising producer. Our senior producer

is Matt Apodaca. Engineering and mixing by Joanna Samuel with support from Eduardo Perez. Research by Alyssa Grahl. Talent Booking by Paula Davis and Gina Batista. Our Theme Music is by Woody Harrelson, Anthony Gann, Mary Steenburgen, and John Osborne. Special thanks to Willie Navarie. We'll have more for you next time, where everybody knows you're new. Consumer Cellular offers the same fast, reliable nationwide coverage without the big wireless cost. Freedom calls.

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