Whiskey Ginger with Andrew Santino - Aaron Weber

Episode Date: April 11, 2025

Aaron Weber is a southern gentleman with a preacher’s charm and a killer punchline. A rising star from Nashville, he’s the youngest member of the legendary Nateland podcast crew, holding his own alongside comedy vets like Nate Bargatze. Whether he's riffing on Cracker Barrel, growing up religious, or his undying love for Alabama football, Aaron’s clean, clever, and quietly subversive stand-up leaves audiences howling. Catch him on tour or wherever dad jokes are taken way too seriously. Check out his new special: Signature Dish OUT NOW ON YOUTUBE https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gq3DZ3DBsu4 #aaronweber #andrewsantino #whiskeyginger #podcast #natelandpodcast =========================================================== Sponsor Whiskey Ginger: https://public.liveread.io/media-kit/whiskeyginger SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS PXG PROMO CODE: WHISKEYGINGER FOR $10 OFF YOUR CLUB https://pxg.com/whiskeyginger ROCKET MONEY GET RID OF USELESS SUBSCRIPTION https://rocketmoney.com/whiskey PROPHETX USE PROMO CODE: WHSIKEY GET UP TO $300 IN PROPHET CASH https://getprophetx.co SKIMS TELL THEM WE SENT YOU! https://skims.com/whiskey BOOKING.COM BOOK YOUR STAY TODAY! https://booking.com ======================================= Follow Andrew Santino: https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino/ https://twitter.com/CheetoSantino Follow Whiskey Ginger: https://www.instagram.com/whiskeygingerpodcast https://twitter.com/whiskeygingerpodcast Produced and edited by Joe Faria https://www.instagram.com/itsjoefaria Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What up, Whiskey Ginger fans? Welcome back to the show. If it's your first time joining the show, welcome to the show. We got a good one for you today. Like my man, Steve Harvey done say. Man, I'm excited. Over half a million subscribers.

Thank you guys so much. That means the world to me, man. You've been here for the ride. I started this channel at like, I think 800 subscribers or something like that. And we grew, we grew, we grew. And it's all because of you, you, you. So thank you guys so much.

I'm doing a couple of dates on tour. I'm done, because my special comes out in September, but I'm doing a couple of pop-up dates here and there. May 22 and 23, May 22nd, I'll be in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada. May 23, I'll be in Winnipeg, Manitoba, for two shows in Winnipeg. May 22, May 23, Edmonton and Winnipeg.

Go to AndrewSantino.com for those tickets. AndrewSantino, AndrewSantino.com. Also go to BadFriendsPod.com to see me and Bobby in London on July 18th and Dublin on July 19th that's Andrew Santino dot com and bad friends pod.com in here we pour Whisk. Oh, that creature in the ginger beard. Sturdy and ginger. Like vampires, the ginger gene is a curse. Gingers are beautiful. You owe me five dollars for the whisky and seventy-five dollars for the horse.

Gingers are hell no. This whisky is excellent. Ginger. I like gingers. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to Whiskey Jinger. My guest today is one of my favorite people on Earth. I say that for all my guests, but I mean, once again, today it is... Signature Dish's dishes own Aaron Webber

Aaron Webber Nashville's finest it does actually Nashville's finest a new dad brand new dad brand new papa And running around the country Promoting signature dish, and he just did good day LA before this Same exact kind of show, this and Good Day LA. Same vibe. Don't you think? Oh yeah, same energy. Same rhythm. Yeah, I got bumped for a traffic helicopter. They were like, listen, we gotta throw it to the guy in the helicopter. Brother of those, you gotta cut to the helicopter.

Was it a high-speed chase? No, it was just like, let's look how beautiful LA is. Yeah, a high-speed chase would be kind of tight to get bumped for that, because when those happen, we all get very excited. Do they happen that often? Oh yeah, I think I would argue they happen, well often is a subjective term, but I would say at least once every other week, right?

I would say twice a month is fair. Oh my gosh. Oh yeah, dude, sometimes in the summertime, when crime is at its high, that's when it's like every week, you're catching one a week is fair. Oh my god. Oh, yeah, dude. Sometimes in the summertime when crime is at its high That's when it's like every week. You're catching one a week. Yeah, okay. Okay, so I'm not in the season of it You're not really you're a little early in 2022. There was 971 pursuits and 348 of them resulted in a crash That's pretty good odds 900 pursuits and only 300 crashes?

That's like one in three crashes. Yeah, 33% is, no, but that means... Good for who? The criminals or the cops? The criminals! 66% of you are going to get away with it. You don't have to get to... If I'm a criminal on the run, and if you told me there's a 66% chance you can outrun the cops, I'm taking it. No, it's not outrun, this didn't crash. Well, dude, if it didn't crash, they probably got away.

It's still a win. That's still a thank you. If you don't end it a deadly accident Yeah, that's a W chalk it up By the way I don't know if you've watched enough of these to know a lot of times the cops will bail like the LA cops like I've watched enough of these where if it's a dangerous enough situation where they feel like they're They're putting themselves in danger. They do let them go. And they publicly talk about it. Well, because it's at some point, it's like, they can't, they're not gonna sacrifice their life

to catch some guy who most likely is like, you know, skipping bail and he's out and he robbed a gas station. It's like- He has something low-low. He didn't kill anybody. He probably did something stupid and then was scared to go back to jail. And you know what I mean?

That's usually what it is. Typically, if you do something horrific, they're not in a police chase. The police chase guys just don scared to go back to jail. And you know, I mean, that's usually what it is. Typically if you do something horrific, they're not in a police chase. The police chase guys just don't want to go back to jail because they just got out for robbery and they're doing it again. It's true, dude. You got to let them go, man. And by the way, the dream for everyone in Southern California is to get to the Mexico Mexican border.

If you can get to the border, your home. How far is it from here? It's pretty far. San Diego is like two and a half to three hours give or take, but I mean with traffic. I mean that's doable. How many miles is here to the border Tijuana is probably 300 and something maybe? Kilometers. How many kilometers for the people overseas yeah if you don't mind? Because we do want to. How do you visualize a mile in your head? I was just thinking about this.

When I was growing up, my dad told me the distance from our house to the school was a mile. And I still to this day, when I think about a mile, I think of the distance from my house to my school. That's really interesting. That is really interesting. A mile to me, I always saw a mile as, I ran track okay so if I get four laps around yeah if I can physically visualize four laps around something like

if I could unravel the four laps I'd go that's about four laps tracks away or when I first went to Arizona State I went to college there I remember this might this might have not not be true anymore because they change but Campus main campus was one square mile. It was exactly one square mile. Okay, so I was like that Big chunk of space to me. It's like that's how far that is to the interesting still kind of think about that when he's yeah That is funny because a mile is a hard job Well, cuz you know when you're on the highway and each if each exits are a mile if it says a mile away Yeah Well, because you know when you're on the highway and each if each exits are a mile if it says a mile away Yeah, it comes up so fast. You're like that is a

That is crazy to think how short it is when you're when you're on the freeway and how long it is when you're on standing Ground ASU is 660 acres aka 1.03 square mile. That's I mean, that's close enough. So I was right No, three one point other. So I remember somebody had told me they're like all campus is one square mile So if I had to see if I was skateboarding around it That's how I'd calculate if I was like oh if I forget from this corner to that corner It's where I learned geography and where I learned geometry major. Yeah, yeah What was your mile times your peak mile time when you're running? I was never good at miles I was good at so I was good at Sprinter Sprinter. I was good at four by four by fours

Each of us do a hundred You know or whatever. Okay, 400 400. Sorry. Yeah the four by four with the baton. Really? Yeah four by four Okay, so what do you think about this going on where the the girl hit the other girl with a baton love? Yeah, yeah, but you have expertise. Is that possible to do that by accident you think no, absolutely not No, it's it's that by the way the amount of timing that you need to line it up, it's so deliberate that she thought about it. In her dreams, she was like, I'm going to hit that woman in the head so hard when I come around that turn.

I bet there's been so many races where she's wanted to do that. 100%. And then something about this one girl didn't like the look of her face. Well, it's rubbing his racing, right? It's NASCAR theatrics in foot races now, because for years NASCAR has a code of like who you can bump, who you can rub, who you can take out. Okay, like a seniority thing or what? It's like, there is a, you hear them tell the other, they'll tell the pit, I've heard

them tell the pit they're gonna do it, and it's like excusable if it's, like if you bump me but I deserved it I have to like take that hit so to speak okay it's almost like a it's extremely proper it's very formal NASCAR for those don't know no it's colloquial it's extremely it's very like bow to the senior and if I screwed you over cut you off and you tap me it's almost like giving a... It's like I deserve that. Wow.

Yeah, it's... You know how like in hockey, when a teammate will fight because someone else clipped or cross-checked or did something to their teammate, but it's well respected by the other team? Yeah. It's almost like that's what has to happen. That's what used to be the case in baseball, right? Is if you did something, it was just the understanding you were going to get pegged when you're up at bat. And, and by the way, it was just part of both sides knew it. Yeah. I could be

wrong about NASCAR. Some NASCAR experts going to be like, that ain't how it goes to, that ain't how it goes one bit. But I met a guy after a show who played in the MLB in the late seventies, early eighties. And I was asking him about baseball now. And he was talking about all these bat flips everybody's doing. Oh, yeah. You get home run, you throw the bat up 100 feet in the air. And I said, what would you do if somebody did that, did that against your team? And he said, the next time you slid into second, he was a shortstop. So the next time you slid into second, I'm taking

that glove and I'm smacking you as hard as I can. He's like, that's just how we did it back then. Yeah. Now it's, I think the coolest move when you hit a jack, I think putting the bat down softly is so boss. That's always the move is acting like you're not even impressed with what you just did. Yeah, it just happened. I just did it.

It was the coolest part about Bo Jackson is he never looked like he cared. He would jump up a wall, run up the wall and catch it and then just throw it in like it was a routine play. Right. It's always the move. And then like look at his arm to see if there's a scratch. Like didn't even celebrate, you know what I mean? He would just be like, did I hit the wall there? I think I think Bo did the same thing in football where when he'd score a touchdown that old, I don't even know what coach said that, but like act like you've been there before. Is that a Lombardi? It sounds like a Lombardi. John Wooden. Yeah it's got to be one of these yeah, it's got to be one of these old-school urban Meyer

Yeah, like that who someone who wore a suit Someone who had respect for the game, but they act like you've been there before my dad used to say that It was Lombardi when you score a touchdown they wanted no don't don't you don't need to celebrate But you would not be that way if you were in the NFL You're getting fined every every single game I can't wait I like I can't wait to see the celebratory dances that these younger kids come up with together as long as My opinion is if it's team celebration if you're with your if you're doing it with the squad great the best I don't like the single the single single celebration is too me me me.

It's not about you dude. It's about the name on the front of your jersey, not the back. Vince Lombardi, once again. It's not, as soon as it's gonna be, it's not about the sponsor on your top left sleeve. It's not about Pepsi, it's about you. But I do think the team celebrations are so much more respectfully fun, because it's like we're all in on it. When you see one guy do one thing, like T.O. used to do, you're like, brother, that's why people are mad at you, because you're making it all about you.

You didn't block. You did nothing. But when a team goes out there and does a dance together, you're like, oh, that's kind of nice. They got together and choreographed. I love it, dude. Especially when they include the line. You're like, look, they got in too. Let them in. Yeah, I was an offensive lineman in high school. Did you get any love? I mean no you never get any you never get the credit for when something happens You only get blamed and I was the center so I mean anytime a snap is bad I was blamed so anytime a quarterback drops a snap now in the NFL my instinct is still like well

Let's not blame the center. Like, catch the ball, quarterback. I still, I go, it's hard to snap. The point is raining out and there's mud, it's hard to snap a football. Yeah, give some respect to centers. Although the center game has changed because of who we have now coming in the historic pipeline

between like, Kels, you know, like, there's guys now that have kind of made centers phenomenal again, and like notable again. You don't think so? Yeah, I mean, are we talking about their performance on the field when people idolize those guys? What's his name, why can't I think, with Peyton Manning? Jeff Saturday. Jeff Saturday. Okay, another guy that like made himself outside of the game

That's true, but that's two versus. Okay. How about this 500 wide receivers you can name Yeah, I know but they're the show-offs into the pretty boys. Yeah, you guys aren't the pretty boy show Oh, no, you want centers to start showing off a little bit more I would like to see it our our offensive line in high school as a, our motto was when we would break down just the offensive line, we would say packers on three, parachute packers. Because our coach made us identify with there's a unit in World War II where all they did was pack parachutes for paratroopers. They never jumped. They never actually jumped. All they did was pack the parachutes. And so they never got the credit, but obviously they couldn't have done it without them.

So you gotta learn to love the process and love not necessarily getting the glory, but knowing you were important to what happened. So that's like the motto of an offense. I'm getting fired up talking about it right now. You're vibrating right now. I gotta chill right now, dude. I'm such a. I was just gonna say, dude. You're vibrating right now. I got a chill right now, dude. I'm such a sucker for that kind of stuff, dude.

Well, it is important to instill that in young men in team sports, because otherwise, going back to what we just said, it just becomes all about me. It quickly can be a me, me, me game. And by the way, the NBA, as a kid, growing up in Chicago with Jordan, to me it was basketball and baseball. That was all I loved

I love football. I like the Bears, but I didn't play football. I played basketball and baseball and bass the NBA became Today this me me me thing that you see these young kid games. They're like he dropped 80 You're like, well, so nobody else got the ball like there's nothing impressed There's not doing this. Yeah, they're putting their hand down like oh, it's crazy. It's just not impressive I see this kid he comes up on my feet every now and then it's like a kid miked up in a child Oh, yeah, literally gaming. Yeah miked up. I who do you think you are?

This is insane little kids now in What's the football league that I can't remember the name Snoop Dogg? Yeah. Well, yeah the it's big here in California It's like the little league football, but it's like the top. It's like what a you is for basketball You know my league growing up was we were called the midgets. Yeah, really? Yeah. Hey man, do you wanna? Slow down, it's a historical reality. It is we were the midgets Montgomery, Alabama Montgomery midgets. Well, no, that wasn't the team name. The Montgomery Midgets.

But that was like the age division for us. Ah, it was Midgetball. It was the Midgets. Midgetball, I don't know if we ever called it that. But yeah, I would have to guess they've changed that by now. I was 97, 98. But this is Alabama, dude. They might still be doing their thing.

We're starting to rename all the public schools down there. Really? I just looked the other day. The high school right by my house was Robert E. Lee High School. I think it became Lee High School, and then I think they changed it to, I don't know, Maya Angelou or something. I think they changed it to, which they should have, I guess. I don't know.

But it's just, they're all changing. Robert E. Lee high school becomes Bobby Lee high school you can keep the Lee and just switch the mascot the rebels The Bobby Lee rebel but not the run and it's the sitting rebels the resting rebels the resting rebels I I I Think I think the difference of when we were growing up, this whole like team mentality thing,

was that you didn't have social when we were kids to show what other kids were doing. You had to hear about it. So that was more of like a mystique. If there was a kid who was phenomenal in the conference, you'd hear by way of people being like, dude, we were at summer league, this kid is unbelievable. But there was no show-off tape. There wasn't, you know what I mean?

There was no way to like brag. So you'd have to play him and he would cook you live. And then you'd go, damn dude, that kid is unbelievable. It's like mythological. It was, it really was. Like, and also the opposite. My coach and I never got along in basketball and his son played out of conference.

So we never really played them except we played them in summer league never really played them except we played them in summer league. And I remember when we played them in summer league, I've told this before, I couldn't wait to guard him. So I took it all out on his kid. I fouled out within the first half, I fouled out. Dude, I beat him, I hit him as hard as I could.

Every time down, I'd foul him as hard as I could. I went for the neck like three times. And by the way, my coach didn't say a word about it. Cause I think he understood like the baseball, you know, hitting someone it was like Yeah, this is uh, this is what you get that was I played eighth grade basketball and in eighth grade I'm the same build I am now Maybe about a foot shorter stout. So I was uh, you know, I was a locker room guy Yeah, I wasn't contributing much on the on the court, but every now and then I would get put in the game

I wasn't contributing much on the court, but every now and then I would get put in the game two foul kids to stop the clock. I was the bruiser and I leaned into the role. I mean, I think I did the math at one point. I got thrown out of a game. I think I got thrown out of more games than I had minutes played in the season. My parents stopped coming to the games quick.

I mean, it was probably humiliating for them. And I would just bulldoze kids on the season. My parents stopped coming to the games quick. I mean, it was probably humiliating for them. And I would just bulldoze kids on the court. And the bench would be dying laughing, and then I'd have to get out of the game. But mission accomplished. I did what I had to do for the team. That's right. Once again, you're a packer for life. But then we did that thing at the end of the season.

I remember the coach was like, all right, we're going to let all the kids that are not good start. Oh, I hate that. You know what know what I mean like just to like give them garbage yeah and I I mean it was the worst probably 14 seconds of basketball anybody's ever I got pulled so quickly dude I remember I in bounded the ball and I hit the back of the backboard it bounced so we lost I mean I'll turn the ball over twice in like 14 seconds and coach was like alright This is a failed experiment. Let's get the starters back in there. I'm glad we tried, you know

Yeah, you need a speech or something at halftime. You're the guy was the guy senior year of high school For football was his Pope John Paul the second high school Hendersonville, Tennessee, and they didn't change that hopefully He do anything wrong could change it to Saint John Paul, because he became a saint since the school was started. So they could change it. I don't know. A pope sounds great. I'll have to check in on that. Pope's, I think pope prep that go by now. Pope prep? You know that's in the, pope prep? That's in one of those like, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, I really worked so hard on it. I wasn't doing comedy yet. I had no outlet. Right. You know, it was the 10-year anniversary of Columbine. Oh, God. You brought that up? That's what the whole speech was about. It was about the Columbine massacre.

It was a pet peeve, not a pet peeve, but I noticed that a lot of times people would just make analogies to war with football. And I remember thinking, I'd like to do something not about war. So I read the story about a guy who was in the Columbine Massacre, who's in the library when it happened, and he hid behind a desk or something. And then he ended up taking his own life ten years, like years later, because he couldn't live with what he didn't do in the moment. So no joke. I said fellas

Boys when we wake up tomorrow, I don't want any of us Wondering what we could have done tonight Such a reach in retrospect, but I was so proud of that dude, and I think it fired people up did they win We did win there There you go. We won that game. I mean and I like to take a little credit for that. That and you got to give a little credit to Klee-Bolt, Dylan and Kenan and Harris. You must, Klee-Bolt and Harris. You must. A great comedy duo, Klee-Bolt and Harris. I thought you were gonna say guys we gotta work together like those two. Yeah we gotta

do what those guys Storming into our school right trying to I mean they're coming in in trench coats. You're gonna hide behind a desk You're gonna get out. I do want to know I thought if he hid behind a row of books I'd want to know like what books he hid behind it if that affected him as well And at what point do you take a book out and read it? It's a long time Or fine absolutely horrifying to think the cops get in you're like well come on. Let's go He's like i'm lost in this book man. I give me 10 minutes It is terror. It's it's awful. We never had we I don't remember any like uh,

What we would do is they bring in um, uh, uh ex Players that are now either pro or or did something to give speeches a lot. That was a big thing because we had my tenure of school, we had an unbelievable amount of people go pro and different stuff. It was kind of crazy. We had Chris Brown, the running back, I don't know if you remember, but at Northwestern with Gary Barnett and then left and went to Colorado with him and he Was like big in the NFL at one point then we had the two McCarran brothers

And this is all like while I was in my four years of school a jacarine Justin and no no no older older older Justin and God what's his brother's name, so they would come back and fire up the they come back and give some love yeah And he was big on that Henry Dahmer can't. He was big on getting guys that used to play... Dahmer? Yeah, Henry Dahmer can't. Dahmer can't do that.

He can't do that. Dahmer can't do that. And our sister school was one of the greatest female basketball players of all time in... Cheryl Swoops? Cheryl... no, no. God, how old do you think I am? Candice Parker. Yeah, Candice Parker. The girls from Double Teamed?

Do you remember that movie? No. You're more Maya. You remember Double Teamed? How old are you? I'm 33. Oh yeah. Double Teamed on Disney?

Double Teamed. It was a Disney Channel original movie about two twins. This is pre-WNBA. Because I remember at the end of the movie they go you know they do like a where what happened now and they're like they joined the new women's professional league but it's about two women basketball players what is what's the name of the girl who are the actresses that Heather and Heidi Burge yeah but who that's the real name of the actresses

yeah the Burge sisters where are they now where are they now look up where the Byrd sisters are up to now. They're still acting They were both they both played in the WNBA, but that must been like 30 years ago I don't think they're still you think they're dead like they're still Aaron thinks everyone's dead that did something in the 90s They played overseas from 93 to 97 and then WNBA from 97 and 98 Wow, they do one only one year in the league though? That's pretty tough. What a success story though. Use that next time. Let's make a movie about it. Yeah, that's a speech from the locker room. You want to play one year in the big show, huh? Yeah. That was the most heartbreaking thing by the way was me going to college and then befriending college athletes and

seeing some of their dreams like come to fruition and other people have to quit playing. Well, did you go in with the expectation of I might play? No, good God, no, nothing. No, no, no, I went in just to go party and have fun. I gave up high school, I knew that was the end of the train. I was like, this is it, this was just for fun. That was me at 11.

I waited. The kids started hitting puberty and I was like, oh gosh, it's different out here now. I loved the intramural ball, I played a lot of ball in college with people I waited. It started hitting puberty and I was like, oh gosh. This is it. It's different out here now. I loved the intramural ball. Like I played a lot of ball in college with people and I practiced with some people that could, that were good. But then you'd see people's kind of dreams because ASU was a home for golf and baseball.

If you were good at golf or baseball, I saw kids every summer come through that were like trying to go pro, trying to get into spring training. And then I got to tell you, it is heartbreaking. Because you see them, here they are, they're what, 20 years old or whatever, and they have to reconfigure their life and go, well, I guess I don't play sports now. And you're like, holy.

Yeah, and that's all I've been doing. And that's all they know, since they were six. I met a guy after the show, I talked to him for a long time, he was a coach of a double A baseball team. And he himself had played in the MLB for a year, he played in a bunch of different teams. And I asked him, how many guys on your roster right now do you think will have even a small career in the majors? And he's like, we got two or three.

And I go, how many on your team think that they're going to? And he's like, all of them. You have to he's like all of them. Yeah, you have to Yeah, I guess you have to yeah, you have to it You can't be the guy that's on the team and go I'm probably not gonna go pro Well, that's probably the same percentage at like any open mic in America, right? Same thing you go all of us have dreams and aspirations right do this But there's maybe one or two that could maybe hack it most open mics There's you're probably you're probably there's got to be less people that try stand-up that make it

Then well no the percentage is probably probably pretty better because every kid plays baseball It's like one to three percent of people that try and look at you now. How about it? You made it? How about it dude you made it? I didn't want to wake up and think about what I didn't do You made it. I didn't want to wake up and think about what I didn't do Columbine It all comes back to Columbine. You couldn't have done that Columbine thing on Good Day LA by the way I couldn't have done that. I tried to make an OJ joke to him today and they didn't I go I don't know a lot about LA. I watch a lot of OJ documentaries and then they they go so you got a kid They were really nice.

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rocketmoney.com slash whiskey. Ginger. I like gingers. Don't you think if they just started to crack it open a little bit more and let that and have a laugh at that, it'd be more endearing for the mass public? There's just no way there's enough people still around that are like, I don't like that kind of stuff. I just don't buy it. I think they're a fair amount. You do?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think so. I think the OJ joke, but OJ is such a harmless joke. I think I think they're a fair amount you do. Yeah, I think oh, yeah But oh, jay's such a harmless joke. What do you think? I'm gonna sell ads though. Everything is so commodified now Yeah, yeah. Well, yeah, they Nestle needs to get in there. They're 50 seconds I call my daughter OJ because those are her initials and people hate it. Your daughter's name is aren't all James Ovaltine But I call her the juice I remember I told at the hospital Ovaltine juice. Ovaltine juice. Get over here Ovaltine juice! But I call her the juice. I remember I told at the hospital, I told her doctor and you know they come in and they

go, oh what's her name? And I said I think I'm gonna call her O.J. And this nurse goes, I wish you wouldn't. I already got some towels monogrammed, sorry. O.J. is her, that's her initials is O, yeah. Yeah, OJ Webber. Oh, Jay Webbers I thought it was like we just lost one. Yeah, let's bring another one. Let's bring another one. Let's restore balance to the universe OJ Webber by the way is an athlete's name. Oh Jay Webber. Oh my god Yeah, oh Jay Webber down the wing. Oh, yeah, I can do that is such a plane field hockey or something

Dude, you some yeah for sure soccer what soccer? No doesn't have well why really embrace soccer in the south the way they have other There's a comment. I guess the soccer players. I'm not super proud of but I think was pretty prevalent. Yes Pretty heavy down there. Yeah, Alabama. Because I think it was during either football or baseball so it's like these kids have to make a choice and it's like why did you choose the objectively lamer sport? That's what we would say. But where the top, look up where the top women's college soccer schools are. I wonder what those are. Notre Dame's up there I think. I would say I think I would say also probably

Yeah, I would say they're Stanford up Northeast like like Oregon or see up in Seattle What is it Stanford's number four? Okay? No one's listed the top three top three, okay? You know, oh, okay. We haven't named any. Yeah I thought you said whoever read this list gave up after yeah Stanford I thought you said whoever read this list gave up after Stanford and then they got tired. Yeah, what? Yeah, it's fine top three. I bet you is it in is it Northeast is there an SEC school in there? He doesn't know what that means Honestly doesn't know don't and don't and and honestly

It's a big point of contention inside the studio here that he knows nothing about is there any is it Northeast schools like a Boston Schools or anything in the in the New England area for some some reason I know like the layout of America, right? Yeah, but some of these not really to be honest with you That's also a big harmful thing. I'll give you number two because I've never heard of this Wake Forest University Doesn't that hurt your heart to know that never heard of Wake Forest D1 ACC school Wake Forest. Yeah, it's in North Carolina. That's insane that you've never heard of Wake Forest That's how little he watches. Guess what their mascot is. Yeah, that's actually really Wake Forest if you had to guess Well, don't look if he's looking at it. It's not showing you. Yeah Now what do you think it is? Something satanic? Yeah

Yeah, like yeah like like the Bohemian Grove where they like burn that giant owl Yes, sacrifice it to the devil. Pretty close. not quite. Do you know about colleges and stuff? Wake for his goat heads the demon deacons. All right, so who else who's number two? Which is pretty crazy that is their number two. Oh, who's one number one is University of North Carolina UNC is number one another ACC school Another? Wow. It kind of shattered your whole premise here, huh? Wait a minute, wait a minute.

No, yours. You said the South is no-no to soccer. Oh man. It shattered your premise. I did say that, but I'd like to... I actually was just proving how wrong you were. No, no, no, no. We'll pull up the roster off air and I want to see where these kids are from. By the way, every single kid on that team is from California. Of course. Yeah, they're all from Oregon, California.

But how about that? UNC Duke, I wonder why they have such good women's soccer programs. But I don't know anything about the history of it, but there you go though. OJ Weber could ship up to do which which would hurt you more UNC or Duke Neither would hurt it would it would hurt my if well you're an SEC guy right well I went to Notre Dame I'm Notre Dame guy now, but I still kind of pool for the SEC because I grew up because you grew up there Right yeah, like are your parents Bama fans my mom went to Auburn But doesn't really care that much and the rest of the family went to Notre Dame.

Wow. Yeah, so we're fighting Irish, man. Have you ever talked to Shane about Notre Dame? I have. Because he's a hardcore. He's a more intense fan than I am. Well, but you went there. I know.

He didn't even go there. I'm not going to follow recruiting while I'm a student there. Some people do, man. But I didn't know many kids that are on rivals every day day when like you got to go to class there feels lame at a certain point well I didn't have to worry about it with Arizona State we had no talent whatsoever while I was there it didn't even matter like I think the last guy to be good before right before I left was Jake Plummer the quarterback for yeah I'm a little bit older than you man a little bit older

dude I remember boomer sison was walking around my god when Naismith was in the hallway Yeah, man, I went to school many moons ago But back then there wasn't we didn't have a lot of talent and the Arizona Cardinals were just leaving ASU to get their own stadium That's how long ago that was you regret going to college now that you're not doing it I think about that sometime you You don't. I loved every It solidified some relationships for me that that's the one thing the new generation of kids that you hear a lot people like you don't even need college it's like look look look sure I understand what you're saying that you

go start your career if you know what it is right out of high school. Some people don't and if you have the financial wherewithal or ability or the gift to get into school and to do a college I recommended for the social aspect alone, right? Like it was great to like grow with people meet people out of my world. I moved across the country. I It was beneficial for me. Yeah, I get that for some people. It's like a waste of time What whatever but if you look at college is like I'm trying to maximize my ROI on it. No, then it's terrible. Yeah, but I was never thinking about it like that.

No, I wanted to meet people. I was a philosophy mate. I mean, I never thought, well, all right, well, I got to get this money back. I was just never thinking about that. No, mine was a sneak away. How could I get to the West Coast? I really wanted to come to California. I couldn't afford it and Arizona State was so close You almost got there. Yeah. Yeah, it's like one state away. I know I just couldn't afford it I literally you UNLV was like the other maybe option. That's even that's even closer. Okay, but still dude

I couldn't like California schools. I was either too dumb or too poor because it was either You know, it's like the northern up north schools. I'm not getting into Stanford or Cal or whatever, you know what I mean? But if I could, but UCSB, I couldn't afford to live in Santa Barbara. Banana slugs, right? Isn't that what they are? Banana slugs, yeah, banana slugs. Crazy. And, and, and- Team in Deakins.

And then Long Beach, Long Beach is the, the dirt bags is their baseball team name. Dirt bags. Isn't that funny? Well, I'm from Montgomery where our team was the biscuits Oh that Montgomery business nominal and I we had I remember when the team came We had a citywide vote where we got to pick the name of the city, which is a fun thing They're like, what do we want to rally around as a town? You know, what's our identity as a people and it came down to the River rats versus the biscuits. Both very good. You know, world famous Montgomery Alabama biscuits. That's what we're known for. Seriously? No.

Honestly, I was like, oh my God. But by the way, how easy would that be true if you're like, we do biscuits, but it's like, sure, I wouldn't argue with that. That's a claim you could make and they go, okay, I guess they have great biscuits how do you fight it yeah you wouldn't even know we're not claiming pastrami sandwiches or something it's biscuits biscuits is very if I said where's the most famous biscuit I go somewhere in the south and you go yeah it's Montgomery I go well that's lines up but I would have loved to have been in the room where they start cooking up ideas for because they did biscuit cannon at the games I'm not kidding they shot biscuit like a t-shirt cannon, but biscuits into the crowd. This is incredible and you got concession stands that serve breakfast food

I mean Ellen gravy. Do they ever have gravy attached? I think there's some there's definitely gravy in the ballpark By the way, cuz biscuits and sausage gravy might be when it's done, right? One of the greatest breakfast sides so good in my life because I'm a breakfast dog I will skip all meals, but breakfast the only one I give a shit about. At all. It's the only one I care about. You know, and now they tell you that's like the one that you should skip.

Don't care. And what are they? Who are they? Who are they? Nutritionists? The powers that be. Right. Elon Musk? You need to skip breakfast and buy a Tesla.

Who's that dude that's just like, I see him all the time, he's just like healthy. I don't even know what he does. What? Healthy guys on the internet? He just like claims to be I'm the healthiest guy ever. Oh yeah. What was that guy? We were going to have him all the time. He's just like healthy. I don't even know what he does What what healthy guys on the internet claims to be I'm the healthiest guy ever. Oh, yeah, what was that guy? We were gonna have him on the show Brandon Johnson What was his name Johnson or whatever? Yeah, he's the healthiest dude. He's trying he's trying to age backwards. He's like working hard to eat and take medications to Reverse his age. He's I think he said his his

His Brian Johnson his metabolic age is four years younger than his actual literal age It's pretty good. I'm gonna get hit by a car. I was good. Yeah, it's just gonna say wouldn't there be a little bit of comedic irony if he died in a train accident a Train though is a thing that rarely happens. That's even better. You think about it with the planes now everything Do you worry about it? I had turbulence on the way here, dude And I think you see the Charles de Gaulle film the thing that just went up yesterday from from Paris They had to like no so bad follow you don't do French stuff I tend to stick to Nashville and that's really bad bless no I

Get freaked out now. I just flew in from Chicago yesterday. I get freaked out only because I feel like it was never this much but I think we googled it and it's not true. I think this was as frequent as it's always been. We're seeing it more. Oh, okay. Which is a little bit conspiratorial that I don't like which makes me think man this is another time the media is making me feel something that actually has always been consistent and How often are they doing you know and they're like dude?

Robberies are up and then everyone goes around going to robberies are up But it's like then you check the stats like no it's been this way for 25 years And then you see all these companies are owned by home home security right exactly right and ADT is ADT puts out reports every week The robberies are higher ring doorbell. Yeah, this is fact or an article so so Dylan I think Tim was just on going to Columbus and they had to come back But this is what's crazy not because something on the plane because not because of the plane someone on the plane this is what's crazy not because something on the plane because not because of the plane someone on the plane had like a freak out or whatever and so they turn around and came back a freak

out yeah probably threats or someone's higher someone's on drugs or something happened to you just get scared uh... something happened like you do the amount of people overseas have tried to pull the door open mid-flight this is happening a lot now this is happening are following now this is happening I'm following French news yeah it's all crazy yeah today on the flight a man eating cheese tried to open the door mid flights and we have to land in the Thames River it's I think it's happening as much as it always has happened we're hearing it more because the media is finding ways to hype up or

going on or what are we not looking at while we're looking at this a bit of a smoke screen what are they doing yeah what what could this be what is next like the asteroid is coming and it's fat getting getting to us faster percentage keeps increasing the likelihood right of that. Yeah, I know What do they call the doomsday clock like we're getting closer? We're almost to midnight Yeah, five seconds. No, but there's an actual isn't there an actual asteroid heading towards the earth There is like a 3% chance it hits Yeah, they say if it doesn't continue its path if it diverts a little bit by like you know a billionth of a degree

Or whatever it'll kill us and you know what it's not an extinction level No, yeah, it'll destroy a town or two so'll kill us. And you know what? It's not an extinction level size. No, no. But it'll destroy a town or two. So not fun. But where does it hit? Yeah, yeah. Where can we push it to?

Where can we push it to? Small chance of impact in 2032. Yo, I'll be gone. Oh, we got time, dude. I'll be gone. We got plenty of time. I'll be gone. Look, where would you, okay, how about this?

How about this? Where would you divert it to? What continent would you divert it to? I mean, it's got to be Eastern Hemisphere. Yeah. They've had it too good for too long. They certainly have. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

They certainly have. I'm not gonna do that to South America. I'm not gonna do that to North America. Leave these people... well, North America, we're number one. I mean, come on. Something's gotta keep the world going. Okay, okay, okay. I think you... I think you throw a dart at the Eastern Hemisphere, and I hemisphere and I think it's, you know, I appreciate your sacrifice. Appreciate you. Thank you. Thank you. By the way, the landmass size of Russia, for people

that don't really know, is so big that you're like- Yeah, let's do Siberia. There's nothing up there. There's nothing up there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, give me the actual mileage square footage of Russia give me this like the actual mileage square like square footage of Russia I looked at it one time on a map on one of those realist realistic maps where they show you the true depth of how big It's the amount of land. What is it? It's six point six million square miles. Give me a break. Yeah Yeah, so that's six point six million Arizona

Isn't that crazy? That's insane. That's insane. And Americans get flack all the time for not knowing a lot about geography, but I was blown away where I looked up where Moscow is. It's so far to the left. It's so far. It's Europe. It is Europe. You think it's going to be top right in the thick of it in Russia. It's just nothing out there. You ever look at the nuke map? Nukemap.com? No, but bring it up. You can pick any nuclear device

and then drop it on any city on Google Maps and it'll show you the casualty count. It'll show you where the radiation will go. I've spent hours on there. Like, what if a nuke gets dropped? What if, like, a little boy gets dropped on the Nashville, like on the Tennessee Titan Stadium?

Like, am I gonna be okay? Is that how they're taking care of it? They're gonna rip that thing down and build something new? We gotta build those in some way. You should. Yeah, cause they're building the new one. You do know I have said that it's Nissan, right? Isn't it still Nissan Stadium?

Nissan Stadium, yeah. From the bottom of my heart, love Nashville. We have so many family and friends out there. One of the greatest cities on our honor. All right, what's coming, what's coming? Probably the most pathetic football stadium I've ever seen in my life. Well, we're about to build the best stadium in the country.

It's gonna make SoFi look like a high school stadium. Good luck, good luck, good luck. SoFi is phenomenal. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You can go to town, but that's funded by billionaire tech lunatics. Do you have Dippin' Dots? Do we have Dippin' Dots at SoFi?

That's the one thing, the one thing you have? You go, hold on, I lunatics. Do we have Dippin' Dots? The one thing you have? You go, hold on, I don't know if we have. Space ice cream? We gotta get it! But they're building it to be a state of the art stadium. I am excited for you guys. Because every time I cross that beautiful river on that bridge, those games are fun to go to because it is just like college football

where you kind of, you collectively walk together over to the stadium. So I love that. But the stadium itself is real sad What do you want like lazy boys in the stands? I want a real stadium that looks like it that looks like a high school stadium. What about Nissan is pathetic You want to say every player who plays there has said it's the saddest place to play. That's because we haven't been winning if we If we went to Super Bowl all of a sudden that stadium's pretty nice. You got close. We did get close. You got real close.

Yeah, we got, I mean, we got a yard away from it. Which is... Are you looking up the nuke map right now? Yeah, give me the nuke map, Doug. It's pretty fun, right? I dropped to Zarbamba, which is the biggest nuke in history. Ever tested, right? I don't think it's ever been deployed. And honestly, don't step on him when he's talking about nukes.

Because this is the nuke god right here. This is what I came in here to talk about But I dropped it in the middle of Chicago Okay, that's cool in the middle of like the loop the fireball would go all the way up to Lakeview Oh my god down to Washington Park out past West Garfield Park I'm pretty far out into the Lake Michigan and the radiation itself goes into Michigan City up past like I mean they will not be able to tell the difference in Michigan City. The radiation goes all the way to

Graze Lake. Wow. And what's the casualty count? It says on the bottom right. Four thousand hot dogs, twenty eight hundred tailing beef sandwiches. That's gotta be over a million, right? Way over a million. Yeah. Chicago Metro? I don't know, Chicago, they're pretty resilient. Yeah, some of those guys would take the blast and keep moving. Yeah, this half of my face fell off and I can't feel my right side of my arm, but for

the most part, you know, it's not a fact. I bowl left-handed anyway, it doesn't really matter. 1.2 million. Wow. How about that? That's a day Chicago's first place I heard people honk their horn. I remember we will honk at you. I'm from Alabama I lived in Tennessee and then I was in college We took the train through Gary in Michigan City just just to see the scenery And we got to Chicago and I remember we got off the train

station and I just heard horns honking. I was like, this is wild. It warms my heart. I've never, I'd never heard that before. I honk here. Where are y'all going? So much. Where are you? I'm going to where I need to go.

But why the urgency? Get out of the way. You know what it is? A honk is a... It's like a throat clear. Exactly. It's a dad going, hey, hey. That's what a dad... it's when. Yep. Yep, but you're right There is a tonal depth to the horn that changes. Yeah, if it's good That's rude. That is but if it's gank, that's come on. Come on. Come on. Let's go. I'm a big pop up guy I'd be peep but I never I never be like if somebody's not going at a light or something you just go pop up two taps Yeah, just hey there. Hey there. Hey, buddy. Hey, buddy

That's really what it means. I you will never honk in Nashville. That's never a honk city It doesn't feel like a honk city. I think I probably honked once in 18 months. You lease a car in Nashville, they're like, listen, y'all get three honks. You get three honks a year in this. Because doesn't a honk use, isn't it gas or something in there that does the honk?

No. Am I insane? No chance. I think there's like, There's no chance a honk, it's electric. It's like, I think it's like a whoopee cushion type. I swear to God. I think that's how it works. I think if you honk too much you have to replenish the honk

the horns are electrical not powered by gas I'm not talking about LA cars I'm talking about real American vehicles it says if your horn stops your battery ran out of charge your battery ran out of charge Ford our horns will last longer than Chevy's. We put enough gas in our Ford horns to honk for years. Not helium but I thought there's some type of gas. Brother you are a Notre Dame graduate. Well I didn't major in automotive studies. Well you should have. It would have helped if they offered it. The idea but I will say. But doesn't it feel like

you're kind of pushing something well because the pet that's where that pushiness that cushion is because there's an airbag behind there you're pushing an airbag and that doesn't contribute to the honk at all the air in the bag it does say some older vehicles or trucks have may have air pressure horns how about that you see what I'm talking about? Older trucks may have. Yeah, the car's real American. What do you mean may have? Like we can't look and see.

It says it may have. What is it? F350. 250 didn't have it. 350 and above, they had it. That's something I could like hear. You know, so I have, my connection to the South runs deep. I don't know if you remember this.

My dad's from North Carolina. My dad and my sister both went to the University of Tennessee. Okay. Go Vols. Go Vols. So I have like a very rich love for the South in a way that a lot of Yankees. So you spent your whole life avoiding it. No, I love them dude. I go to a lot of the Yankees as my family would say. They hop down there to take our money and then you come back to LA. Correct. Live the high life. Like a fancy boy. That's crazy too. Hey, at least I pay taxes, okay? Oh yeah.

You Tennessee non-state income taxpaying people, how do they subsidize that income tax? We tariff the other states. You do? Everybody around you? Property tax is real high. Not that, not like here. Not like in some of the expensive states. Well, we didn't have no state income tax in Tennessee.

But what they always say is they go, yeah, but where they get you is the property tax. No chance it's that bad. They go, it's a give and take between sales tax and property tax. How does the state of Tennessee subsidize income tax? I think our SIN tax is real high too. I don't know if they call that, it's called the SIN tax. What is that? Alcohol, tobacco.

Oh, right? Oh, that could well do you sell through government stores? Like is it ABC stores that has to sell out? You can get at the grocery store. You can't Alabama's ABC store That's same thing in North Carolina learned about that because we the DC sniper Sorry to bring everything back to the serial The Montgomery, Alabama we took credit for capturing the DC sniper Did you actually capture the DC sniper because he was caught luring him in with biscuits he was They one of them was caught on camera at an ABC store in Montgomery, Alabama

No way, that's how they got him how pathetic like how pathetic to get sniped at a government issued liquor store like dude That's how they got you but I remember the headline I remember I can still see it the new that we had a guy on the corner that would hold the Montgomery advertiser and the headline was like Montgomery catches DC snipers so we were like that's pretty and we you know we did our part I can see that framed in many people's homes in Montgomery sure big that's in the walkway it says here tennessee derives fifty eight percent of its tax revenue from

sales tax a far higher proportion of other states it's a low tax it however working-class families are paying more than their fair share tennessee's taxes and relies heavily on regressive sales tax not sears sales taxes are are unfortunate he finds something that's not editorial eyes he gives an opinion did tennessee shameful tax policy. You're like come on. I don't yeah I guess sales tax is high. They clipped you. 10% on everything. But I do love I love I do love Tennessee. I've always had a big crush on Tennessee but I only knew Knoxville for years when I was a kid. We never went to Nashville. I wish it's one of those towns I wish there was a comedy club.

There's good comedy there. They do like a great Don't Tell show out there. There's a couple of really nice theaters in Knoxville. But here's the thing in the South that I think people don't get is you can't have a comedy club there because you just, you can't do shows on Saturdays there. Well, football. College football. Yeah, you can't interrupt football. But this makes a lot of sense actually because all of the great clubs are in places that

probably don't have good college football. Exactly. Well, no, that's not, I guess that's not true. I mean, one of the best clubs in the country is Madison, comedy on state, and that Madison's a big football. I just don't, I mean, look, I haven't spent a ton of time in Wisconsin, but I have a hard time believing it's the same kind of forever. Not the same, but I mean, dude, Wisconsin for Midwest football, Wisconsin and Michigan are big foot, that's big football. That's Ann Arbor is, have you been to Ann Arbor before? Yeah, I went to a game when I was

there. That's phenomenal. We just we just went to one. Dude, the whole city is it's incredible. Might have been the worst fans I've ever interacted with. Oh why? Why? On any level. Just the the aggression is unmatched. I like this. By any other fan base that I interact. People would just walk up to your face and yell at you. But you were wearing Notre Dame stuff. Notre Dame, Michigan, this makes sense. Yeah, but we were playing there.

It's not like we weren't invited. But if it was another school that doesn't have so much vitriol hate for each other, like dude, this is like Michigan, Ohio State, same thing. They are going to eat each other alive. I know know but to walk up to a stranger and yell in there is crazy and it happened all somebody yelled good luck is definitely not that no it was I mean I don't have any actual like hatred towards Michigan but I was so struck by like I'm used used to, you know, BYU coming to campus

and they're the nicest people ever. They're like, hey, you wanna hang out our tailgate? Got some caffeine-free diet cokes. And then you go to Michigan and these dudes are coming out of the mill and they're putting on their jerseys and they go, let's go yell at some. When they brush the coal off their shoulders

after a hard day's labor. They call them Walmart Wolverines. Walmart Wolverines, yeah. Because that's where they buy their gear. That's right. And that's where they work. And these are the greatest people in the world. God bless Walmart and the Wolverines.

God bless, God bless America. I never had any of this rivalry. Like I said, I went to Arizona State. I never felt, you know, we had this thing against Arizona, but that was like fun because we both sucked all the time. You know? You know the team I actually hate the most is Navy. Well, you count them as a, what are they,

they're not competition. We've been playing them forever. I know, it's not even, it's kind of whack by the way. I know, but what annoys me the most is every time we play them, the whole narrative is like, wow, the respect between these two institutions is timeless. And you're like, do I respect, I respect the Navy. The Navy itself.

Not the Naval Academy football team, we bulldoze you guys every year have they ever beat you they've beaten us yeah we weed them like I think like 40 years in a row and then and then they beat us on the worst year though and they've had good teams every now and then good ish yeah and they'll and they'll been they run the wingt which is like a nightmare to play against but I just get annoyed at how it's talked about they go man you got to respect these I mean the hard work the wing to you, which is like a nightmare to play against. But I just get annoyed at how it's talked about. They go, man, you gotta respect these. I mean, the hard work, the dedication these guys.

And you're like, yeah, I agree with all of it. But like, I'm tired of hearing about it. Our kids work hard too. That is right. We dedicate our lives to this. Go Irish. Go Irish. Give me the lifelong record of Notre Dame versus Navy.

I guarantee you it's 98% wins for Notre Dame. There's no chance. It's more than 2% overall 9192% Wow. Yeah, because they come I'm telling you that you know, they catch you on and off you They catch you when you're down. They catch us when they're down when we're injury prone and then they chop block and they do all Sneaky and then they add to a couple injuries. Yeah. They layer it. They drone strike us and all that kind of, yeah. I think for me, the rivalry thing was always fun to watch from afar and support like my

dad and all that stuff because we'd go down and watch SEC football and it was great. Because I kind of had no skin in the game. I just got to enjoy these great football games and watch my dad just swallow the pill of Alabama beating them all the game. I just got to have enjoy these like great football game and watch my dad Just swallow the pill of Alabama beating them all the time. It was always so hard for my dad Well, I mean it's Alabama's you know I mean like when you lose to Alabama Who cares I always felt like that was like dad This is one of the greatest football institutions of all time, but there's a stretch my childhood I grew up in the 90s that Albany was not good No, yeah

There was an Auburn one I think seven years in a row and they got a pretty big attitude about it and I don't forget that well And your mom didn't that wasn't a thing for your mom and now she knew not to talk about football What is it what 81 to 13 and one tie 81 to 13 Now do the math young man. Do 13 divided by 81. Do it on your phone. 13 divided by 81?

.16. 16%. Jesus Christ dude. This is what I'm working with. This is what I work with. So, yeah, 84%. In here, we pour whiskey. Baseball is back, and the NBA playoffs

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MLB booking.com booking. Yeah Let me tell you something It's spring spring Spring has sprung, which means baseball season is here. One of my favorite times of year. OK, I get to go down to Chavez Ravine and watch the Doyers and whoever else that they are going to blow out of the water.

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Screwed. This is a 25 year old man and This is who they are now. They don't know how to do percentages and they don't know geography. They don't know where Wake Forest is. We're done. It sounds like a made up school. Waukee Forest? I was with Zach Townsend, our mutual friend, last weekend. And he told me, and I hope he doesn't mind me saying this.

Oh do it. He told me he took algebra one as a senior in high school. What? And I took algebra one in eighth grade. Yeah, algebra's not senior year. So I was like, you took algebra as a senior? And I go, do you know how to do any? So I wrote on a piece of paper,

I wrote like two X plus one equals five. Can you solve for X? And he was like, could not do it. And I go, this is insane, dude. I was doing the 12 or 13. He's trying to do it right now. Two X plus one equals five. You solve for X, you isolate X on one side.

But let's be real. You've seen photos of young Zach Townsend. I get it, I get it. It just, you know what I mean? Math wasn't around. X is it. You know what I mean? Math wasn't around. Yeah. Exes too. How about that, man?

That's good work, dude. How about that, man? And you know what he's writing it on? A UPS We Missed Your Delivery stuff that you have to pick up. That you have to go pick up. My mom was my math teacher, actually. My mom taught me algebra. Really?

Taught in school? Mm-hmm. Was that hard to have your mom as your teacher? My dad was the principal and my mom was a teacher there. So I had, there was one year where all six of us would leave the house and go to the same place. Your dad was principal? Yeah. Now this has got to be tough.

Dad principal, well, I'll say this. Principal in. Principale. Principal in high school versus like, what is it called in middle school or junior high? Not principal, it's like the. It was called the principal for us. Was it? Yeah. Oh, I think we had a different name.

But whatever it was, principal in high school didn't really matter as much. I feel like principal middle school I saw more of. It was more around. And we called it junior high, six, seven, eight, was junior high. Okay. Did you do junior high or you did it all the way up to high school? There was an elementary school, principal middle school I saw more of it was more around and we called it junior high six seven eight was Junior, okay. Did you do junior high or you did it all the way up to high school? There was an elementary school the middle school in a high school, but they were all linked It was in one under one umbrella where my dad was the president of that whole thing and the principal of the high school

Somebody grew up a billionaire of all the You want to get some money to get into the Catholic schooling system? Yeah, it's the honeypot. You know what? We had such separation because I think that was a part of the... They wanted to get the 6, 7, 8 together because it made sense, and they didn't want them together with high school.

And I always thought, yeah, 9, 10, 11, 12 makes sense. But then when I go in other parts of the country, people are like, no, I went to school with high school kids when I was in like third grade. Yeah that's crazy. That's crazy. It's not good for either of them. No that's creepy and weird. Why they need to see each other? These people don't need to be near each other in buildings. And the young kids don't need to see older kids doing wild shit, influencing them to do something. And you want the high school kids to feel like they're young adults in some way, and it doesn't

help when there's six-year-olds running around. You want them to feel like you have an actual high school. My dad was really good about keeping it separated. He used to always quote, there's an episode of Seinfeld where George says, there's coffee shop George, there's relationship George, and George divided against itself, cannot stand, and he would think about it like that Yeah, there's like me here at home And then there's me at the school and I'll do my best to keep them with did you ever have an interaction with them?

You never got if you got in trouble. Yeah, you had to go Did you get in trouble you seem like you're look I was in I was in some groups that got in trouble I was never a trouble guy. I was always the guy that was like, guys, come on. Guys. The guys, come on, guys. Guys, what are we, it's not worth it. Yo, Johnny, it's not worth it, buddy. Let's see, I was that guy.

I was the guy, I would come with a group to TP somebody's house. But I was the guy that was like, all right, let's get, come on, let's get back. Let's get out. Yeah, we're burning too long. We already did it, let's go. Let's get out of here. Let's get out of here. It's plenty of TP, let's go. Yeah, that was the guy that was like, all right, let's get, come on, let's get back. Let's get out. Yeah, we're burning too long. We already did it. Let's go. Let's get out of here.

It's plenty of TP. Let's go. Yeah, that was that guy. I think you need that guy on some level. You do need that guy. Everyone has that guy. You need the other guy too. The guy that goes, I want to go a little too far. You need a little too far guy. Yeah.

Then you need a reining in guy. Somebody to reel it back in. We had a little too far guy, my buddy Tommy. Tom was the man. Always a little too far. A little too far where Tom was the man, always a little too far. Little too far where something broke, he's like, it broke a window, you're like, uh oh, didn't need to do that.

You can't actually vandalize stuff. Yeah, you don't wanna do something bad to the house. Did you guys ever do, so you TP'd, did you egg as kids? We never egged, so we were, our house would get egged a lot because we were the principal's house. Would you have to clean it? Senior prank every year. We got, our minivan got paintballed one year.

That will dent a car. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it was structural damage to our 1991 Toyota Previa with one sliding door that's lit off the car. Shut up, Previa! Yeah. We got agged, TP, somebody took a dump in our mailbox one year. Cle Yeah, it's pretty so I like I still think about logistically how they did it Well, they had to put it in with their own hands. Oh

I always wow. I always assume they did it directly into the mail. No, sir I guess you could even bag it and bring it from home. I guess yeah I mean if I think it's more creative to do it live. Okay. We'll do it live. We'll do it live! I was imagining the guy doing a handstand, leaning up against the mailbox, but my mom, my mom would clean it up every year

because here's what would happen, is these kids, they'd vandalize our house, and it was never anything crazy. It was never like, my dad would get out there and try to stop it or anything. It was like, just let them, whatever. But they would come back in the morning when the sun was up to see it. So between when they did it in the morning,

my mom would go out there and clean it up to not give them the satisfaction of seeing it. And then my mom would get a cup of coffee and sit by the front window and watch. you know what this is this parade of pickup trucks come by this is your mom putting the bat down after hitting the home run that's what it is she didn't bat flip puts it down politely and jogs around the base that's what it is nods tips the hat thank you thank you thank you, thank you. Have a good day, boys. Have a good day, boys. Your mom's sipping coffee. Have a good day, boys.

Y'all be safe now. We used to do, egg was big, teepee was big, but I think one of the funniest ones that I saw as I got older, people would take toothpicks. Do you know about toothpicks in the lawn? So we did it with plastic forks. Forks, so you could do anything. Break the fork.

And they'd break, yeah. What a nightmare. And I had to mow the lawn. So that was... you'd have to get down and pick them all out. But they did this at your house? People did it... well, everyone got it, you know, like... See, we were doing it to high-profile targets, not just like a random guy. If you played on sports teams, if you played on basketball, they would hit you if you, you know, like... From rival schools?

Oh, yeah. Oh my oh my god also internally like if seniors would go out and they'd hit the freshmen they'd hit the or the JV kids would get hit so you were you good enough that kids from other schools that you were a target I don't know I wasn't no I wasn't I think I was more of a target people the redhead thing they were like we got to get that guy for something you know what I mean like that's stupid ginger we got to light him up that's I was more We gotta light him up. That's how it was more of a target.

But I touched a lot of bases. I was friends with kind of a lot of, because when I moved, when we moved to the suburbs from downtown, my first year of schooling, guys that I met, they all went to a different high school. So I lost all the friends that I made right away. My childhood best friend, we went to different high schools which was which kind of stunk and I would try to go over there and and I would hang with them then I try to make new friends at mine but it was tough because all these guys I knew they went to another

high school would you ever go over there and eat lunch during their school day no I'd be so sad though to show up over my little bag lunch hi guys it's not going good over there. Oh Santino No, but I but it stunk because I was trying to do both and I was trying to make new friends a lot and then also Keep those old friends, but they're also growing into new groups That was the hardest part was making new friends at a new school with half of the kids got divided into some other spot Your school probably wasn't big enough for that to happen. So I moved to Nashville in the middle of high school. Oh, you did.

So between my sophomore and junior year, I moved to Nashville. My high school in Alabama, about 250 kids. The whole school? The whole school. Good God. And the one in Nashville, about 650. So it was like, it felt huge to me at the time.

Now we did this thing called Family Lunch once a week at my high school in Tennessee, where you got this random group and that was your family all year And then once a week you sat at a table with your family and they had a family style lunch like walls And he passed it around and the idea was to prevent just exactly what you're talking about Yeah, you have you meet a lot of kids. You would normally sit with oh, yeah Give me the first names. Cole, Cole, Tucker,

Brie, Jeremy. Yeah, I remember that. Did you all have to assume a family role like were you the papa? I sat at the head. I led the prayer before the meal. That's fascinating, though. I mean, dude, my high school when I was there was thirty six, something like that, in the whole school.

Nine through? High school, yeah, nine, 10, 11, 12. 3600? Yeah, and there were twin, two sister schools. That's a college. I mean, dude, I think right now they probably are over 4000 if you look them up. LaSalle, Chicago? No, no, no, no, no, high school, high school, high school was Naperville.

Naperville North and Naperville Central. Look up Naperville North, Naperville Central. I think they're yeah and the burbs are dude Western Suburbs Chicago is massive. And by the way that's I mean there's six other schools of this size in the in what is it? Naperville North 2800. 2800 now? Things are going great in Chicago. There's a lot more back in the old days. What's Central? Yeah maybe that's higher. They're going to better smaller schools. 2800 well they're probably going to Wow, there was a lot more back in the old days. Was the other one central? What's central? Maybe that's higher? They're going to better smaller schools. 28, well they're probably going to private schools to be honest with you.

Oh, it's a public school? Oh, dude, public boy right here, baby. My whole life, you can tell, public kid. I didn't know if you were going for a high five or something. No, no, no, you don't want to do that. I haven't been to any public institutions. No, I know, you're smart. That's why you're a bright kid, I'm an idiot.

2500. So, 2500 and 28. I mean, that's still so big. And they're right next to each other. I thought 650 was crazy. I mean, I don't know we know 650 was probably in my class Let alone the high school. Yeah, I was 1700 17 so you would just not know kids at your school most you didn't know most You just didn't know most kids. That was just a normal thing. I knew everybody. Yeah, I know for and for me Oh, well, you know like and or I'd meet kids years later after

getting a little bit of like Success or people knowing me and people be like dude. We went to high school together It's like I'm you know, and we don't even know that oh, you know who went to high school That was a year younger to me was James Holtz our the Jeopardy champion Never heard of the guy in my entire life was a class below me. He wasn't on the quiz bowl team or something heard of the guy in my entire life was a class below me he wasn't on the quiz bowl team or something he was a year or two below me and never heard of the guy in my entire life but you know but I mean yeah that would happen you'd hear you'd hear people that have come through they're like oh yeah they were like a

freshman when you were a senior now they're like an Olympic athlete or something man it was crazy James Holzauer James isn't that raising name yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah you play jeopardy oh are you kidding me yeah I'm James Holtzauer. Isn't that his name? Yeah, he's like watching him play. You play Jeopardy? Oh, are you kidding me? I'm so bad at it. Have you done a Celebrity Jeopardy or anything? No, I'm a little scared of being embarrassed because I'm too stupid. But the Celebrity Jeopardy, the questions are so easy. Are they stuff like, is a horn filled with air?

Is it stuff like that? Any of that kind of stuff? Too shamed. Dude, I had a buddy, this is so funny, I was just talking about it. I had a buddy, we had a, at my high school, it was called the Hand in Hand program. It was kids with special needs. And there were a couple classes, they would be integrated with normal classes. So you'd have a kid with special needs.

You don't have to say normal, but that's offensive. Well, um, neurotypical, I don't know the right word. Who's there? I don't know the LA terminology, I's there, Ed? I don't know the LA terminology. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm sorry. But we had one class where the teacher, I guess the teacher, you know, we'd take these tests on these Scantrons that were...

I hated Scantrons. Graded, automatic. Yeah, they'd just... Yeah. Fail. So, there was a teacher who, whether it was laziness or whatever, but he would give the kid from the hand-to-hand program but he would give the the kid from the hand-to-hand program, he would give them a different test than the ones we're

taking where the questions are a lot easier, but the answers would be the same so that he could scan it with the other. You wanted to get one of those. So I had, I knew a guy who kind of allegedly cheated on the other guy because his test would be like the colors of the flag or red white and Like that might be like the lowest thing I've ever heard bad that's bad do You got you got to repent for that just a little bit You can make up for that we got a chapel right there in the building stop down Well, that's kind of what it is. Yeah, you do a little cheating off of Father I have sinned right there in the building, stop down. Well, that's kind of what it is. You do a little cheating off of a hand in hand, you slide right in.

Father, I have sinned. It's been 10 minutes since my last confession. Yeah. We had the program, I did it, what was it, my senior year I think, I sacrificed my early dismissal. Because my girlfriend at the time, the girl I was dating was a junior, so you're younger than me. And I sacrificed my early dismissal and I my girlfriend at the time, the girl I was dating was a junior, so you're younger than me.

And I sacrificed my early dismissal and I did a program kind of like that where it was like staying for a period after to help out kids, handicapped kids. It was honestly the most fun I had had in high school. And I thought at one point, I said to my mom, maybe I'll do this, maybe I'll do this, something like this for a living. Because it was so, I don't know, man, it do this, maybe I'll do this, something like this for a living, because it was so, I don't know man, it was the most fun I had ever had. It was like they were happy to see you.

Every other class I walked into, nobody's happy to see you. There you go, he's loading up. We had to do, I think, 80 hours of community service to go to the next grades. I worked at a nursing home. Did you? In high school, yeah. See, that's depressing to me. They're on their way out. You know what, it was a nice nursing home. Did you? In high school, yeah. See, that's depressing to me.

They're on their way out. You know what, it was a nice nursing home. Oh, okay. I think it was a nursing home for wealthy people. Rich old people. Rich old people, so it wasn't, I mean, it wasn't great. It was still sad in a lot of ways. Yeah, but they were still well-to-do.

There was one woman who would, every day would pack up a suitcase and wait by the door. Oh my God. Because she thought every day she thought her family was picking her up. And it was brutal, dude. And I'm like, you want to play bingo? So I was the bingo caller and then I washed dishes.

And I did that after school for a long time. Good news with that is not a lot of dishes. They don't eat much. No, dude. I've told this story before told the story before but I you know I was a growing boy back then. 16-17. Still growing. So it seems. I was growing in different ways. Okay. Yeah yeah but I'll be hungry working back there right so it's like any job any kitchen you eat a little bit off of the plate. A hundred percent. So every now you know French Friday it was big I just eat the French fries off the plate so I get the plate back I eat some of the plate. 100%. So every night, you know, French fry day, it was big. I just eat the French fries off the plate. So I get the plate back, I eat some of the French fries and wash the plate. And I remember a nurse walked back and saw me eating the

French fry and she goes, Oh, honey, no. And I go, what's wrong? She goes, a lot of our residents just suck the salt off the French fries and put it back on the plate and I was like, I've probably eaten a thousand of those french fries just seeing an old person sucking on a fry putting it back on and then I'm munching on them back in the kitchen. Like I see the cutaway now in my head of a flashback to just like there's been a more salt okay-mm. They need more salt. Okay, Dolores, we'll put more salt on there for ya.

That's so funny. Yeah, dude. Good memories there. Good, great, great memories. Did you ever think you were gonna get left something? Like, did you ever buddy up to someone who maybe had some money to leave you? You never even thought about it.

No, I never. You never even thought about it. I never thought to manipulate people in need like that. But, uh. I talked to him. I remember talking to him and they're like, yeah, dude, after the war, they don't say the war. Yeah, it's always the life was before the war and after the war, which that's 9 11 for me. Yeah, that is that 9 11 after 9 11. I wonder what the next thing will be. COVID is a lot for this generation. COVID at COVID, you're right, COVID's eclipsed 9-11. They always say pre-COVID, post-COVID, particularly because his generation was

in the heart of college during- Second half of my college. Oh, that, I mean, that's br- You should just go back and do another two. That's fine. Really? Yeah, I got it. You know how fine it is for this little brat?

He's 25. Yeah. He lives alone. He has his own apartment at 25 years old. So he's doing well enough that he has money in his savings and he's got his own apartment. So he is, COVID did him well. Okay. Let's say that.

Okay. Yeah. I told him many times, I've done this old man rant and that I was like, 25, dude, I would live with three men in one bathroom. I've never lived alone. Yeah, you only went from roommates to live alone I went from roommates to wife. Yeah brothers to roommates to

Yeah in college and the roommates. Yeah, I've never lived alone to say thank you. Thank you. I'm blessed I mean truly though it is pretty I had you know, I had roommates It is pretty... I had, you know, I had roommates up until, you know, I finally got my, like, my feet on the ground. I was doing stuff in my 30s, but man, forever. I did remember a time where I got into a fight with my roommates and I thought, do I have to do this forever? Do I have to live with some another human? Were you a good roommate or were you, I mean, were you chipping in and in and out a lot? Unfortunately, he'll tell you too, I'm a neat freak. freak so to my it stinks because I did everything all the time. And were you confrontational to your roommates when they weren't neat? 100% it would bother me so much. I can see that.

Dude you can't leave this stuff out that's disgusting. You just can't let things go. The food, the food stuff? You don't like people being different from how you live. That's right, that's right. You would get in line with me or get away. I didn't mind mess but but food bothered me the most food was if food is out It's so gross to me So like dishes you use a plate once you're done you wash the plate and put it away. I just put it in the dishwasher That's what the dishwasher, but you don't so you don't put it in the sink and do not let it sit. There's no let it pile up No need that's silly. It doesn't even make sense. It's right next to this you mow the grass every day No

No, you wait until it's a problem, and then you knock it outow the grass every day? No. No you wait until it's a problem and then you knock it out all at once. No no no you have to wait till it grows that's for the health of the grass but that's something you don't know about. Let's cut to a true green grass ad. Dude that was one of my baseball teams growing up. True green true green Camlon. Camlon? Oh yeah dude. Camlon's getting sued right now I think to the nth degree right didn't they have all a bunch of... No, no, no. That's a...

What's the other one? They just got a huge lawsuit because they had stuff in there. They had chemicals that they found. Monsanto? One of those? No, no, no. It's the company that makes the weed killer stuff. Roundup.

Roundup. Roundup got in trouble. By the way, they still sell it. Yeah, it works great. It does. It's amazing. Itup got in trouble. By the way, they still sell it. Yeah, it works great. It does. It's amazing. It'll destroy those weeds. Roundup, they got sued pretty bad and then they said they had to take it off the shelf.

But this is the same thing that, if you've ever seen the documentary, I've talked about it, The Devil We Know, it's about Teflon. And Teflon is in your blood. It's so bad. Teflon. Teflon. What is Teflon? Teflon is a... You have to describe Teflon Teflon. What is Teflon Teflon is a you have to describe Teflon

It's a chemical that is used in nonstick pans traditionally. That's what we know Teflon is like bulletproof vests It's also in there. It's also in your sweater. It's in your shoes This is tough those those and it's in my brain and the water supply and sadly it is like microplastics A little bit more harmful. Okay, good. Yeah, and it's in everybody's blood and they dated it all the way They could date it back to the Korean War post-Korean War After the war we all got Teflon and everybody got Teflon in their blood because it was used so readily in so many products That and when I say everybody globally, this is not just America

So Teflon became such a problem this documentary talks about it 3m said We don't make that version of the chemical. Okay, so this is not a brand. This is a Teflon is a chemical compound I thought it was like styrofoam. Yeah, right. It's a brand, but it should be a brand. Mm-hmm who makes styrofoam We ever from is a brand it is styrofoam is a brand and Teflon is technically a brand name for the chemical Why don't you research this stuff? about bringing up on that's my fault I asked three reasonable follow-up question right right look at me like I'm an in factoring. Yeah Styrofoam yeah, who makes it styrofoam styrofoam makes styrofoam, but other companies are allowed to call their styrofoam They don't call it styrofoam. They call it foam or foam packaging foam packaging

Yeah, they don't use like tissues where Q-tips exactly. It's a clean X name because Xerox coke I still call all sodas coke because look as they are geographically. I call it pop pop Midwest for life, baby. Do you call the water fountain a bubbler too? No, that's that's that's southern That's not a southern. It's not us. We don't say bubblers that's East Coast maybe somewhere in Wisconsin area no no no I think bubbler no no no I'm thinking Milwaukee they're calling it bubbler yeah dude once again on Sun and New England New England that's what I said yeah we're both right what a beautiful

moment as we did what a beautiful because my East Coast they say Bob. Yeah, bubblers. No in Chicago. What do we call water fountain? Hazardous drinking fountain we don't do we don't drink out of them though. What not in Chicago use a hit a hose, dude That's for homeless to wash themselves. You got a hit a hose my time about a spigot a spigot Yeah, I'm talking about a suck on that spigot boy Hose water I drink a lot of hose water growing up, so there's probably... It's the way to live. Teflon's all in me. Well, but hose water probably was... probably better for you than fountain water. It tastes so good. Because fountain water... Yeah, something about it, right? I always thought about this. When we played basketball at the park, and you'd go get a drink of fountain water,

birds poop all over it. You're... the hose at the house house, there's no poop on the hose. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The hose never got contaminated the way that a water fountain does. Yeah, and I'm not getting my mouth too much on the outside of it too. I'm just staying on the edge. You're staying on the edge.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Inside, I don't know what it is. We had, I remember in high school, there was the high water fountain and the low water fountain, you know what I mean? And this was crazy. A kid we went to high school with got, oh my God, he had to get like his hand and his foot amputated because he got, what is the bacterial meningitis?

And they claimed it was from the water fountain and then someone said don't worry It's the low ones and we use the high ones and I was like, oh my god This took it back to like civil rights. They were like our fountains But bacterial meninges or no, no, sorry viral meningitis. Whatever the one is that you V. M Which one is it's where you could potentially get a fatal brain infection V.M. V.M. Which one is it?

It's where you could potentially get a fatal brain infection meningitophilitis from water. Not from drinking water from a fountain, but water entering your nose. So you caught some up the nose and got some meningitis. So if you would have drank properly, it would have been fine. And I said it, we all said that to him. Yeah. I said, you ought to know better. You've got to learn how to drink.

You lose a hand, you lose a foot for something like that. We would get three seconds on the water fountain. Teachers stand there, one, two, three. You gotta go? That's all you got. Save some for the fishes. What if you're thirsty? This is before everybody talked about hydration.

Right. Hydration was never a thing. This is when kids used to throw up and pass out at football practice, and they were like, get up! Still got color in it. Yeah. You got work to do, buddy.

That's why they say we look so much younger. Like if you look at like a 30 year old from the 50s, how like people used to look older. They never drank water. They drank water. They drank this all day. And three packs of cigarettes and then they you know went home. That is what's funny when somebody goes look at how more mature everybody looked back then. They were closer to dying. They were gonna die at 38 that's why old age yeah that was that was they were retiring at 26 yeah it is funny to see pictures of my grandfather when he was young he did look at 16 there was like a photo of I remember my grandfather at 16 he looks 40 my age he

looks like a 40 year old man well they were I think life was tougher back then, right? It'll do that to you. George Washington led an army at 16. That's insane. I actually have no idea if that's true. Can you look that up? Wait, but by the way- Before I get fact checked.

How old was Washington when they crossed the Potomac? How old was he? Let's take a guess. I honestly think he was 25 tops. I say 35. Because I think he was leading men into battle as a teenager I say he's in his mid 30s across the Potomac seems insane. How old is born in 1732 and across the Potomac in 76 he was 34 Wow. I was right on I said 35. How about these my age imagine me leading

No, no 76 minus 32. Oh Yeah, 44 44 we're done was tough that was bad Yeah, no, that's right. I know but that is should be able to do so he's closer to my age. Yeah Wow, imagine me leading people. It's okay. I took algebra one in middle school. Don't don't don't do that with a hat You show your face and be proud. Don't do that. Don't tip it down Mom's a math teacher, but I think he did fight in the French and Indian War too. I think he was a commander Okay. Yeah, but I think he was a teenager and when he was he was look that up was watching a teenager as a Imagine at my age now

Leading men across the like to me by the way, the men I am leading are 15 and 16 years old So imagine me with a group of high school sophomore boys trying to get them to do anything you got a drummer boy Who's like 10? He was 21 when he joined the Virginia militia 21 21 yeah, so 16 pretty close to the city close right there a neighbor spitting distance. I think by the way the little drummer boy What's an unnecessary? Casualty because you know he got shot you know they killed the drummer boy almost always he first one to go I'm guessing that was like some type of war crime a hundred percent to kill the drum

You know what happened on accident if you ever see how these guns were shot they hit things on accident Yeah, they don't yeah, there was no aim you aimed here. It's shot there. You just go. Yeah, you aim forward That's about it that way, but didn't the drummer boy? I think their function was they would communicate instructions Yes through the drum and timing of the why did it have to be a boy little drummer girl? No, they get a little drummer girl put a girl out there I Want to play with dolls you're gonna be drumming for the soldiers, Sally. What am I? I told you. You got picked.

I think this Napoleonic warfare it's called. The way those wars used to work is insane when you think about it. Just line up and walk towards each other. I like it. Crazy. I also like it that they told you, it was almost like a date. It was like a war date. And people picnic out and watch. Right. They bring, they go get some sandwiches together. We got the Battle of Gettysburgs tomorrow. It's pretty cool to not sneak, like sneak war was considered kind of a disgusting act of like sabotage.

And that was, but so... It was like what Mel Gibson did in The Patriot. I was gonna say what he did on PCH was pretty bad. That was really bad what he said to that cop. It was a little bit worse than the Patriot. But he was being a Patriot. God bless you Mel. Hope you're well. There you go. Hope you're well Mel. He's back by the way. He's making movies.

You know that right? He's back in effect. Are they doing well the movies? I think he's like back in full swing. Is he not? People are ready to move on. Passion of Christ killed. That's one of the highest grossing movies. That's not a surprise. I saw Passion of the Christ in the theater. Came out on Good Friday.

Great marketing. Perfect timing. You can't put it on Christmas. And I went with my grandpa and my siblings. And I remember a guy in front of us had nachos. At the Passion of the Christ? At the Passion of the Christ. And I remember thinking, I know there's a concession saying,

and that's how they make their money at these, like, what a bizarre juxtaposition. Also, let's be very real here. Everyone in the room, at a movie theater, I am almost never getting nachos. You're getting popcorn. It's something to get for a Marvel movie. Let alone. Any movie.

Let alone like you're watching the scourging at the pillars and this guy's just eating nachos. I was like, yeah, I feel like I'm going to hell for eating popcorn at this movie. Nachos is like, yeah, it's almost like you showed up to root against Jesus. Right. You have nachos. God, Jesus did not like bunch of crunch put that down that guy left before the resurrection Everything I wanted yeah, I know what happens. Yeah, I looked at Mel Gibson. He is a he has a government position right now

What he's the special and Trump is going off ambassador to Hollywood That's that game. Man, Trump is going off. Yeah, he's the special ambassador to Hollywood. Ha, oh, I thought Australia, because he's Australian. With Sylvester Stallone and John Voight, but it's an incumbent position

that was created on January 20th, 2025. The ambassador to Hollywood? What's he doing? Just kinda just checking in every now and then? Checking in. What are y'all doing? What's going on over there? Yeah, yeah, yeah, what's the casting look like?

I think what they're trying to do, and Gavin Newsom and all these guys, they're trying to, yeah, propaganda, but also try to Get this city some financial and you're going on lift Newsome's podcast next week. He's on this I think isn't he coming around up in 30 minutes. Yeah big fan He right to push it back. Yeah for you. Are you kidding? We're running a little late governor Aaron Weber

Garry Gavin Newsom. No, he's gonna come he He's at French Laundry right now, I think. He's up there eating another meal at one of his vineyards or something. Thanks for ruining everything, bud. All right. Aaron, I love you. You're the man, dude. I appreciate you so much. Thank you for having me. Please everybody. You're on my Mount Rushmore of nice guys. Get out of town. I'm not even kidding. Really? I've made? I've made, yeah, I have my Mount Rushmore of nice guys. I'm up there? And it sounds reductive of you as a comedian, it is not.

I don't, honestly, I couldn't care less. The comedian thing is the thing that I do, that I have to do. That just put the lights on. The nice guy thing is what I really want. Yeah, you're on the Mount Rushmore. I'll take it. Please go watch Aaron's special right now,

available everywhere. But it's specifically. Specifically YouTube. Well, specifically on YouTube. But are you putting it up on VOD sites at all or no? Like on, people do this now, this big Amazon and Tubi and all this stuff on these things. I think it'll be distributed in different ways

down the line. Because that's, I was just talking to someone like Kelsey Cook, we were just talking to her about that. She was like, I wanted it to be across all these platforms and now they make it easier to throw it up on here and then you feature it on, and I was like, this is the future of standup. Instead of just going, it's on, this,

I think the hope is, can it be across so many platforms that other people who don't use whatever app we're on can open up a TV and go, I just want to watch it. Can you just give it to me? I want to be unavoidable. I want you to be like, I'm sick of seeing it. Alright, I'll click on it. Yeah. See what this is about. I mean, Netflix does that. They shove it down your throat so much. Everything they do, they're like, you have to watch it. You're like, okay, I'll watch it. But go watch it right now on YouTube, but it's not on your channel, right? It's on the Nate Land Entertainment,

Nate Bargettsy's production company. He your channel. Right? It's on the Nate Land Entertainment, Nate Bargatzee's production company. He produced it. So you did it all. And also you're on the Nate Land podcast with our old boy, Nate Bargatzee. So go watch, listen. And Dusty Slay, friend of your podcast. Love Dusty Slay. He's been here before.

Such a, like a unbelievably funny dude. The only dude from that crew that I don't know is Brian. Yeah, he's the man. You love him. Brian, I don't know. You love him, yeah. That's the only guy i think we've maybe cross paths once but i don't really know him so brian

we'll get to know each other soon hopefully we can have you over on the jenji uh... we and the show the same way look at the exact that camera say one word or one phrase to end the episode when you're ready combine in here we poor with In here, we pour whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey. Oh, that creature in the ginger beard.

Sturdy and ginger. Like vampires, the ginger gene is a curse. Gingers are beautiful. You owe me five dollars for the whiskey and seventy-five dollars for the horse. Gingers are hell no. This whiskey is excellent. Ginger. I like gingers.