Whiskey Ginger with Andrew Santino - Adam Ray Is Back!

Episode Date: December 5, 2025

Andrew Santino sits down with the hilarious Adam Ray — actor, comedian, impression master, and star of the new Netflix special Dr. Phil Unleashed — for an episode full of absurd stories, Hollywood madness, and nonstop bits.They talk about what it’s like becoming Dr. Phil, the art of a perfect impression, the grind of touring, and how Adam somehow plays every character in Hollywood while still finding time to crush stand-up. 🎥 Watch Adam Ray’s Netflix special: https://www.netflix.com/title/81736167 🎟️ See Adam Ray live: http://adamraycomedy.com 🎧 Listen to Adam’s podcast “About Last Night.” In this episode: • Adam on filming Dr. Phil Unleashed and channeling chaos on stage • Andrew and Adam trade insane Hollywood stories • The origin of his dead-on celebrity impressions (and a few new ones live) • Touring nightmares, bad green rooms, and the beauty of bombing Drop a comment with your favorite Adam Ray impression. New episodes every Friday. #whiskeyginger #AndrewSantino #AdamRay #DrPhilUnleashed #NetflixComedy #ComedyPodcast #StandUpComedy #PodcastClips #Comedians ========================================================== Sponsor Whiskey Ginger: https://public.liveread.io/media-kit/whiskeyginger SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS SQUARESPACE GET 10% OFF YOUR ORDER ⁠https://squarespace.com/whiskey⁠ HALLOW GET 50% OFF SITEWIDE https://hollowsocks.com MARS MEN USE PROMO CODE: WHISKEY ⁠https://mengotomars.com ======================================================== Follow Andrew Santino: https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino/ https://twitter.com/CheetoSantino Follow Whiskey Ginger: https://www.instagram.com/whiskeygingerpodcast https://twitter.com/whiskeygingerpodcast Produced and edited by Joe Faria https://www.instagram.com/itsjoefaria Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What up, Whiskey, Ginger fans. Welcome back to the show. It's your first time joining the show. Welcome to the show. We got a good one for you today. Like my man, Steve Harvey Dunn, say. And hey, hey, hey, it's ho, ho homers tomorrow. Saturday, December 6, L.A. Valley College. If you're in the Los Angeles metro area, I would love to see you. We're having a home run derby competition for Special Olympics. All the proceeds are going to go to them. We have so much cool stuff. Come hit Dingers off as celebrities. Some of the names that might be there. Maybe Bill Burr, maybe Bert Kreisher. I don't know. We'll see. see, probably, including Bobby Lee. And also a bunch of silent auction items, including signed jerseys from cool professional athletes that donated some merch and their time, as well as some other very cool secretive gifts. So come on out, L.A. Valley College. Also, we'll put the link in the description down below. So you can sign up. If you don't live in the area and you can't make it, please donate. It would mean a lot to us. I'm trying to raise a bunch of money for Southern California Special Olympics. Donating is just as good. We're doing a big donation from the bad friends family.

And I'd love to see you there, or I'd love to see you help out during the holidays. I love you. I appreciate you. Also, in the new year, I'm doing a bunch of shows. So go to Andrewsantino.com for those tickets. I'm running around the country, doing some casinos. Andrew Santino. Dot com.

In here, we pour whisk, whisk, whisk, whisk, whisk. You were that creature in the ginger beard. Sturdy and ginger. Like vampires, the ginger gene is a curse. Ginger's a beautiful. You want me $5 for the whiskey and $75 for the horse. Ginger's, oh, hell now. This whiskey is excellent.

Ginger, I like gingers. Start the show. Hey, guys, welcome back to Whiskey Ginger. If it's a first time on in the show, welcome to the show. Top of the morning, to you. We are here in the Whiskey Ginger Studios. But if you haven't subscribed, go ahead and click that button below. We have road dates.

I'll be in San Francisco, Brea, this weekend. I think, that might be right, actually. I think I watched the episode last week, but it's, I'm all over at interstantino.com. My guest today is one of my favorite people of all time. I said about every episode, but I mean this because he is. Because I've actually known him for a long time.

He's the only Jewish guy I've ever seen his penis. Please give it up for Adam Ray. You think you're the only Jew that I've seen their dick? Let's run it back. One more time. Who else? Who else? Who's the first Jew dick you saw? Great band name.

Jew dick. What's up Seattle? I just saw this clip and I re-shared it. Great story out. him. No, I re-shared it, and it was a guy, a heavy metal band, and he just goes, it shows two black security guards in the forefront of the clip. Whoa, whoa, whoa. I like to paint a picture. Yeah, well, you did. It's pretty dark. Bob Ross, let's make two little black security guards. And so they're in the forefront, and it's a super heavy metal guy, and he goes, he goes, you guys know this next song.

And you see this two guys just, you know, doing what they do. At the front of the stage, just looking forward. And the guy goes, this next song is about shooting blood out of you. cock! And in one of the security cards to the other guy just goes, what the most like, what the fuck? And it says when you don't know what you signed up for. What the fuck did you say? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like they were just doing a concert, but yeah. Shooting blood out of the dawn. Yikes, that's... Dark days. It's a bad, you gotta go, sums up if that happens. Who's the first Jew, uh, Jew, Jew dick you saw?

First one. And was it circums? Actually, this reminds me of a funny, a real funny story. This is like the mean. This is like the thing ever. I was like nine and my dad. I was like coming out of the shower. Left. Oh no, that was my story. Yeah, that's yours. I was one and my dad left, so I beat you by eight years. Nice try. I don't think I've, we, I know we've talked about

pops. My dad went to jail for drugs. Your dad was like, I can't handle this family. What if that's how he left? I can't handle this family. I'm trying to do this. My dad was like, I need the drugs. My dad, my stepdad saw me coming out of the bathroom walking into the room and we were I like we were fighting or arguing or something and I saw me naked and he goes let's hope that grows that hurt so much and by the way

Santina where are you you get five that's Papa Vaughn and by the way it didn't it's the same size since I was so jokes on you my penis is still inadequate do you know how when your dad that's like such a fucking... That's also, though, that's why you're a comedian. My dad would have never said that. Maybe. He did call me... I don't know if he called me a pussy.

When I had a sunburn and we were on some trip at Lake Powell and he gave me Advil. I was in, I think I was 11 or 12. And the summer one was so bad that he's like, you have to take Advil to just try to get the pain to stop. I mean, I was...

It was bad. I probably should have gone out of the hospital. And he... I couldn't... I couldn't just, I didn't have the wear with all to swallow. And he was like, put it in bread. And he was getting so angry. Put it in bread?

To like swallow it. Just so, you know, you fat fuck, at least probably eat the drugs. You got gluten added, Advil? Yeah, so I finally got it down. But he was getting really upset that I couldn't swallow it. And he might have called me a pussy. So that's the one like jab, I feel like. Wait, I try to write this.

And it hurt, didn't it? Let me pitch this new joke. Oh, yeah, pitch a joke. I'm trying to. Ready for, welcome to Whiskey Ginger's pitch. pitch that joke. So this is trying to do a joke about like, you know, not needing religion to

justify being a good person. Not needing religion to justify being a good person. Yeah, like the people that... Like, you don't need to be godly to be good. Yeah, like it's a pretty easy form of, like, a woman at my show forward this weekend was like, I know you're afraid of flying, I'd love to, and I went to my car to get somebody, I know you're Jewish, but I wanted to give you a Bible.

I go, hard pass. I go, I'm all good. I go, appreciate though. I go, did you want a picture though? And she goes, well, at least you're going to guy, like, you read this, you know where you're going. I go, see, I don't even want to do that. I want to think that the plane's going to fucking somehow rectify the sitch and we're going to coast to safety. I don't want to be just go, well, it's happening.

Let me see where, what exit am I going to take? And she was like, oh, she goes, that's a real bummer. She goes, you know what, I'll talk to that guy. She goes over to Sandy, to Sandy Danto. And I go, please don't do that. She goes, I think he'll be into it. And I just look over and I see Sandy just going. Yeah, but so I go, the joke is.

Sandy, the guy that looks more Jewish than you she went to? She went to the newly rabid rabbi. Right. And so I go, so I go, the joke is like, you know, I go, my mom, being a good person

comes down to three simple things. My mom gave me the golden rule. Shout up Putin. Shout to Putin. Of treat people the way you want to be treated. If you want anything nice, don't say anything to all. Don't say anything at all.

And don't judge a book by its cover because that book may be bipolar like your father. And then I go, do you remember the swings? And then I go, my dad was bipolar. He said me these birthday cards would be like, son, I can't believe the,

I go, he was bipolar and I looked back to some of the birthday cards and he's like so I just can't believe you know the times we've had you've grown to such a wonderful young man do you remember the swings

and when I would push you on them memories my violent mood swings when I would push you anyway happy birthday bitch P.S. you ain't getting him out to shit like just Christ Adam is that a joke? No that's a real card I got and I wanted to jokes are fun we're all having a good time

on today's show but sometimes you mask a joke with a real text you got from your dad. Yeah. And, albeit today Veterans Day, he was a veteran. Shout out. And I'm proud to be an American, where at least I know I'm free. And shout out to America's Ted Nugent, who will be headlining the Turning Points

Alternative halftime show. I'll tell you what I don't get is all these trans women running around. You got Bad Bunny headlining that Bain headline. I don't, we need Ted Nugent and Kid Rock. Bad Bunny, I don't want that Puerto Rican. Saucer dancing up on me So I have to suck his dick The game off of me

You think I want to watch my wife Watch that little Cuban boy Shake his penis around During half time He's not Cuban He's not Cuban He smells like it All the same to me

I remember when I bag groceries at Albertsons And I had a little bit of a tan going one summer And a woman thought I was Cuban She was like what part of Cuba are you from You could get away with something Yeah A little bit of beard on something A little bit of tan I'm something

But when we met When we met You were Italian Oh, yeah. When I met you, you had that long, you had long hair. Yeah, Joe, get a long, a pick of him. There's one out there. I'll find one.

Flowy, long, dark hair when I first met you. Yeah. Like a lion's man. Yeah. When you were fresh out of school, you were more of a white guy, and now you're more of... Say it. You fucking... An old Jew.

I do, I do. I am... No. I did, like, jump into the pool. All right. Well, you did fill your pool with coins. I thought that was weird. Well, Scrooge McDuck said it best.

Was it Scrooge McDuckman? Scrooge McDuckman. Scrooge McDuckman. By the way, he has to be a Jew. There's no chance he's not. Yeah, what is he doing? Horting all that money? He's trying to catch the bugle boys.

They did McDuck because they wanted to sound to the duck because there wasn't, what's a Jewish duck last name? Look at Adam Wright. That's high school. That's sophomore year. After he went to SC, you should have seen what he looked like. He was the dog. Long hair, vest.

A.E. Pie? Pants didn't fit A.E. Pie, the Jew Frat. I know it. You think I don't know your resume? You're one of my oldest friends in the world. Yeah, do you do? Me and you have so many years in the can of getting absolutely stoned off our gourd, singing songs at night. I said you a voice note three days ago because I was driving right by your old place. A lot of great memories there. On Laurel, the old, or no, no, the Harper House.

Harper House. Yeah. And we got stoned. We were walking back, I think from Hudson, maybe. Or the Improv or something. No, no, that's right. We were working up the street from the improv. Yeah.

And we're just stone walking through And just, you know, and this is why it's important to have buds When you're starting out with that are keeping things light And where you can like talk about the rigamarole and the grind of like what's happening And and talk shit about how tough this is and whatever But at the end of the day like end Almost like going to bed happy if you fight with your gal you're at least like going to bed We'd at least be silly at the end

So we'd leave being like, all right, like fuck this We're going to run this back tomorrow and see how it goes And we were just like running through the streets I don't even know how we got on it. But we started singing this song that goes, People of the world got something to say. People, I think we were talking about people like just. No, because we were, uh,

Criticists on Facebook. Yeah, it was like, Facebook posts. You know, it might have been the... I think you said something. You were like, everybody's got something to fucking say. And I was super stoned and I was like, people in the world, they got something to say, man. I think it was just you were annoyed at like,

we put up a post. I think we had maybe done a video or like you just put up a video. Yeah. And people were critical. criticizing it and you were like man what the fuck man everyone's got some fucking opinion yeah and I was like people of the world man they got and you started singing in the people of the world got something to say people of the world people of the world people of the world you know what the funniest part about that was if somebody saw just out the window

it'll be like fucking the gays are taking over again because we were dancing is this whiskey gager no tanks yeah we were dancing in the street We were dancing in the street outside of my apartment. Oh, so funny. Those nights were... Informative. Just unreplaceable. You can't do that ever again.

We're having a good time. We're having a good old time. Dusty Slay, shout out to Dusty Slay. We're having a good time. Isn't that what he says? I think so. He's one of the funniest dudes, man. So funny.

He cracks me the fuck up. His demeanor is perfect. What do you think he locked in on first? The hair, the voice, the catchphrase. That's the total package. It just comes together. It just comes together. It came as one.

He's always been that guy. wait time out back up first you penis i saw thank you i'll give it to you you ready i think so so i've i've ever told i don't know if i've ever told you this i had an uncle irea okay he's alive it's my dad's no name okay i had an uncle ire and here i am as a young man in chicago this is my and we called him uncle ire this through my dad the santino side yes i'm like there's a kid in school named ire he's like a little jewish guy i was like we We have an Uncle Ira? How does that fit into the Santina?

Only until I was like 13 did I realize I was like, oh, he's not my real uncle. He was just like a good friend of the family that we called Uncle Ira. And he was a gay Jewish man who was good friends with my family and was around for all the holidays. I think because he didn't have a family. Gotcha. Or they weren't stoked about his choices. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, turning gay and Jewish.

Because you flip, right? You get one. You can't do both. That's nuts. Comless of that. Well, I didn't pick him because he was a gay and a Jew, but I'm in America. I worked at a McDonald's for 57 years.

I'm only 53, and that's mathematically impossible, but I'm an American. It's a little bobcat going away. Yeah, dude, it's a little bob. He's not an American. He was, by the way, a guy who put on such a good character. Yeah. I did JFL with him.

I did like a JFO with him. No way. And we sat in the car, we drove together. And he was like, how are you doing? I was like, oh, fuck, I thought that. Wow. I didn't know you, I didn't know you had a difference. Those are one of the coolest parts about those festivals is getting into the van with other people.

With other famous comics, yeah. And there's no. And you're young and you're like, what? Only a few people have, but at least from my vantage point, nobody really was getting their own transportation. They were like, yeah, I'll go with the fucking the van that's taking everybody. We all had to ride together. Yeah, nowadays, I'm sure that it's not the same. No, no, no.

I don't even know if it still exists anymore. What was that talking about? Juppiness. So Ira came over. Ira. And so wait, so, but not even like a real family member, but he was Uncle Ira. Uncle Ira. We had a few of those.

My dad had a guy, I think it was Uncle Steve. My sister, to this day, is always like, he was fucking weird. And I was like, it seemed cool with me. She's like, yeah, because you didn't have fucking little boobs. Yeah, right. He was a creep. Tcha. Tush.

Yes, I did. Yeah. Mom and I shared a bra. You did have nice tits as a little boy. I did. Those pictures are fucking funny. There's a video of me on a slip and slide. I should put it on OnlyFans, but it's a...

Slipping stuck, really. Water was Water had nothing on me Yeah Pump the brakes The viscosity of water Wasn't strong enough For how fucking chubby Buby you were

That's so fucked There is a video of me like Just going down Getting a face full of water And then popping up Like I'm I think I did post this years ago Because somebody was just like

You weren't fucking that bad And then I pop up And I'm like Somebody reposted it And put it in slowmo Because as I popped up I was like Everybody was just like

Bluzee You did look like a different guy. By the way, you could have gone. You could be a different guy. Adam Ray, if you never got skinny, you could be a pudgy, Adam Ray comedian would be a totally different character. It'd be weird to see you as a fat guy.

I should just like get in a fat suit for like a month and just go around town. Like, what's her name did that? Tyra. Tyra Banks. But like, didn't she do it? No, I know what it feels like to be fat. I know.

She just missed the fucking mark on that one. That was like when those kids, When the celebrities went to space, quote-unquote, like Katie Perry and all them went to fucking space? You're like, what the fuck are you guys doing? I believe that that was... I think we... I think we did the first time.

I have no reason to believe we didn't. Didn't what? Go to the moon. Oh, brother, we never went to the fucking moon. Really? Okay. What do you talk? That's insane. I don't know, okay.

Have you ever seen the videos of that thing? Yeah, I guess they're pretty... Well, Kim Gardas actually just came over recently and was like, it's not, it didn't. And so that I was like, I don't know if she and I aligned... Who's filming? Who's filming? Great call.

I love when they're like, we left a camera back there. It's like, what? What are you talking? No, you didn't. Go ahead, pipe up. I know you want to say something. I was going to say, based on the shadows that the moon casted on the people, the limitation of lights at the time would have made the perpendicular shadows actually impossible.

That's the sound of all the pussies drying up. The limitations of the quarters. Wait, quite frankly, the light refraction was, fuck you. It's the brightest on Fourth of July. Fuck you. Dude, I fucking hate this kid. He's the best. Also, the flag.

How do you know that? Because he's a fucking film nerd. Also, because I'm a big Kubrick fan, and sometimes it annoys me when I'm trying to have a Kubrick discussion with somebody. And they're like, well, what about the moon landing? And I'm like, the moon landing happened. Why would Russia say that it happened? Thank you. It was in the middle of the Cold War.

Why would they agree? Thank you. We didn't land on the moon. Now, Katie Perry and Gail King, they didn't go. Because when Chris Thompson, God bless her. They just went out to the atmosphere. They went into space technically. They didn't go to the fucking moon.

Oh, we, oh, that's right. They didn't claim to go to the moon. No, dude, they said they were just going into outer space. Well, I don't think they even went to outer space. Ready? That's the sound of Adam's brain. Slowly floating away. George Clooney and Gravity.

Wait, you really think we went to the fucking moon? Yeah. You're nuts. I don't understand why it was the height of, like, there's so much beef between different countries with the U.S. Why would the other country be like, oh, yeah, they did that? Like, that doesn't make any sense. Well, because it was the 70s. What the fuck did they know?

They couldn't tell that we went. It was 1969. Yeah, okay. Sixty-nine. Sixty-nine. They didn't know that we didn't go. How the fuck would they know? If there was any...

This is like before forensic evidence. If you killed someone, you just got away with it. They would be like, they didn't go. Like, Russia would be the first people to be like... How would they be able to crack those codes? They would never be able to figure that out. I know, but they wouldn't agree with us. If they had any shred of evidence, they'd be like,

Oh, yeah, they faked it. They were looking for any excuse to say that we faked it. Follow up. Mermaids. Where do you stand? Those might be real. No. Not might.

We don't know what the... 90% of the ocean, yeah, is undiscovered. Have you ever heard the howling at night on the boats? The mermaid calls, ooh, the mermaid sirens. Those are... Wow. For real? Yeah, you never heard that?

No. He can bring up a sound. Do they have holes? Yeah. Oh. And brother, I've jicked. I bet you that smells like fish. Oh.

There was a guy of my show, my late show at Hyenas this past weekend in Forworth. And he goes, I go, what's your name? He goes, Kurtie, from Alaska. And I go. And Cody, what do you do here in Fort Worth? From Alaska. Curry, from Alaska. And I go, we established that.

And what do you do out there? I go, what for fun? He goes, fish. I go, you catch any fish? He got all the fish. And I go. He got all the fish? I go, I go, all the fish, he goes, oh yeah, he goes, I'm faster than a salmon.

He's probably, that's actually probably true. Yeah. Yeah, he's probably fast in that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He, uh... By the way, did you get some salmon from that guy? I should have. I've only been to Alaska once.

There was a bar called Chillcoot Carly. Chill Coot Charleys. It's like a... Turncoat Charlies? Chill Coot Charleys. It's like a bar that's been there for like... Cachoo? 50 years.

Is this a Beatles song? Yes, and it has about 16 different rooms in it. One of them is called. the bird room because there was like an earthquake and the room is like unlevel it. It's literally got like 15 little bars in it and it was like the, maybe second time I'm ever headline. I met somebody on the patio of the store after an open mic

and they're like, you want to come headline a week at Chilcote? We'll give you like 800 bucks for a week. And I was like, let's go. I did a show every night and then hung out there and I remember they had a little they had a little food window inside the bar giving out fish sandwiches. And on the last night one of the guys was like, do you want to go

see the strip club? And I was like, never seen in an Alaskan strip cold, let's go. So I put a little ketchup on my fist sandwich, and some of you were like, that's a weird move, but, you know, carpet? Yes. On a fish sandwich? Yes.

Fried fish? Yes. That's okay, because fried anything needs ketchup. Great. Thank you. So I am eating it, and unbeknownst to me, took a little bite,

some ketchup is spelled in my pants. I go in, it's like 138, and I've got 22 minutes before they shut down, and the strippers go walk back into the wilderness and, you know, back to their igloos.

Turn it back to their igloos. Right. And I sit down, and the guy goes, Kimberly, get my man to dance. You know, so I was like, holy, this guy really runs a place. I sit down, she starts dancing on me. She looks down after about a minute and a half. She goes, you know you're bleeding, right?

And I was like, you know you were still dancing the whole time, right? And she's like, yeah, I've seen crazier shit here. And I was like, oh. Gross. Gave her some money. Get into the cab. The guy who dropped me off had just left. So I'm just out there front.

And the hooligans outside of an Alaskan strip club when it closes, it's like a it's like a video game nightcloth it was just all these people you were like I didn't know we had these types of people but it's Alaska's out in the woods like people that were just like you know I gotta get back to my moose or like you know I got a staring contest with a beaver

in about 30 minutes every type of person and I get into the cab and he goes how was a strip club my man I go dude a little case of a little case of the ketchup pants and he goes been there I'm like what the fuck no you haven't impossible you haven't been there ketchup pants yeah and you still kept those

pants. Same ones I'm wearing right now. Never washed them. Yeah. It's Adam Raycom for two-of-day tickets. The Who Is Me Tour right now is on sale. It's on sale. There's about 32 dates up there. 32 dates. Theaters, all theaters. January through April. How many dates is it? It's about 30, I think. I think I guess right. Yeah. I just eyeballed it when you sent me the photo. We're finishing up clubs the rest of the year.

Big, the last Phil show, December 16th at the Wiltern, and then the Moore Theater in Seattle first time, December 19th. But the Who Is Me Tour? That's where you get tickets. Portland, Vegas. We're going to be Vegas the same time. In March? Yeah.

Are you really? Where are you playing? The win. Oh, that's right. You're the night before me. Yeah. We'll see about that. We'll see about that.

We'll see about that. We should compare to see who sells out first and make a little bit. Okay. It's going to be you. Okay. It's my first time doing theaters. You've done them. You've been the...

This is your first theater tour? Yeah. Oh, that's awesome. Thank you. Well, I mean, you know... It was moving that way. But who knows? We'll see.

Because I've heard some of the fans are not happy. Like, dude, does you really? Running his divorce material on podcast, too? Adam, what's going on? And then my dad, fucking, I'm fat, my tits. Boo, I'm fat, my tits. I get my tits. You get my tits.

My dad didn't leave in. Never got to grow. Dude, you know what we were jamming to last night? Me and my cousin, me and Luke, had a couple of Veterans Day soda pops last night. We're at? I drove back to the house. I drove back last night from Orange County. He was just like,

Should we have a couple of sodas? Yeah, dude. I was like, well, for the troops. Great call. For the troops. And Monday night's kind of a fun night to throw a few back. Monday night's a much better night than like Saturday night. I kind of a dig it.

I like a midweek fucking let's go. We had a couple sodies and we were listening to Talking Heads. And we listened to like three full albums. Talking heads is that, he's smart in the ocean. No. Oh, that's Toad the Wets Rocket. Talking Heads is... Do that one again.

It's smiling in the ocean. You know what I'm talking about, though? The most famous talking head song you would know. I know, I know. It's probably Road to Nowhere. Oh, yeah, yeah. No, there's a more famous one. What?

Psycho-killer. He may not know that. Everybody knows Psycho-Killer. Sing it for me. Top to bottom. See? You'd think he would know it right away just on the title. He knew Road to Nowhere by the title.

I got it. On the side of the road tonight. See? And there's bigger king in your sight He can't hear music But there's a car driving fast And you gotta get out of the way Get out of the way

So you turn on your flashlight You open your flashlight You say to yourself, this is it And you grab your daddy by the arm And say, can I sing on your mom's tit? It's a psycho killer You forgot your pants So you grab some overalls from the laundry machine

And do your psych-killer dance One hand up, one hand down Move them over each other Until the frown turns upside down And smash them together like a sign-watch Thank you, Seattle How does it go? That's not it?

I think that's it Okay, next question I know my music taste is all over the place. Run, run, run, run, run, run away. You never heard that? No. In here, we pour whiskey.

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You heard about them from Whiskey Ginger. Ginger. I like Ginger. There's no fucking way he wouldn't know about that. I'm not even going to pretend. I'm not one of those guys. I'm about this one. Oh, yeah. But you know, we're on a road to nowhere.

Oh, yeah, yes. See, I told you that was the one he would know. I told you that. Definitely not my favorite song by them. What were the songs your... Home? Where I want to be. Oh, that's them?

Me up that. And you know that, but you don't know Psychicill? That's crazy. I love that song. Yeah, dude. Talking Heads is fucking... That's in almost every Sandler film, I'd say. Sandler's definitely a fan of Talking Heads.

Yeah. Boom, boom, bum, boom, boom, boom, when I want to be, pick me up. Yeah, dude, it's, come on. I'm not good with lyrics, though. Melodies I'm all about. You're like, my mom. We talked about that before. My mom does that.

Like a popular song, she's like, I love that song. Like, you know what song she really likes? She does beep-bott-bo-bo-bo-bo-no, but she does fake words, too. What was the song? What's the song? Uh, uh, uh, uh, whisk. Uh, I'll take my whiskey. need my coffee black and my bed at three my mom goes and the chorus is you're too sweet for me yeah

and she goes you're the beep in me and I'm like what is the beep in me the beep in me well you're the beep in me yeah you're the beep in me doot do do do do how that beep get in me oh that's yeah you know my you know one of my SNL test characters Michael McDonald's. Wow. Michael McDonald's ordering McDonald's. You? Yeah.

Do it. I'll take a number one with a diet coke. Oh, my. Sir, just ask it. Maybe some nuggets. It actually did well in the audition, but they were like... Can't wait for that to end up on the show. Yeah, it probably will.

Bro. They missed the boat on you, dude. No, no, no, no. No, they were right to not put me on that show. By the way, that killed in the audition, but then... they were like if we go back again they're like don't propose don't pitch that I was like really and my agent was like yeah

they thought it was funny but it's not usable I was like Michael McDonald's is so dumb that's bro you could put that third in the lineup you could put that like what do they say the last sketches towards the end of the night or like you know but imagine if you got a great if you got Keenan at the drive through taking the order and then in it's always doing the

Sarah Jess out of the you know just like the very straight face with a smile like and then someone and then you get another impression of another musical artists that you don't reveal in the back passing in the back seat or something right right like and then you pop then you got a second beat or maybe his son works he's like can someone handle this guy

I can't do with it and it's it's it like dad is that you see that's what I'm saying it's so much fun it's way to keep peeling it back and adding more layers young people don't know who Michael McDonald is dude that's a little outdated yeah that's so funny though I will say there was a cut for weekend update sketch from around

2008 where Justin Timberlake did Michael McDonald's McDonald's McDonald's Did he really? Did you just look that up? I just never made it to air? They, uh, but they, they, they, Seth Myers in the Lonely Island, they played it, because it was an Andy Samberg joint, they played it on their show. But Justin Timmer, like, doing the impression, but that's good.

I think it never made it to air. I think mine's better than his. So I, you heard that right, Justin? Hey, Justin, where, my impression's better than yours? Where's my, you heard that right, Justin, hey, man, you might have been able to do, um, you might be able to sell out arenas. Oh, yeah, oh, yeah, but you can't do the, McDonald's, McDonald's, McDonald's. imagine Justin gets upset about this

he's actually like yeah I saw what you guys were talking about that was really fucked up no no we're just just kidding around man he I got to do a stand-up set at his rap party before his last show in Columbus last year awesome and yeah it was awesome I went out there and he was super cool and I'm sitting on there and he was you know talking to the whole crew and it was a little like Chinese restaurant burlesque club there was like a pole behind me A Chinese restaurant burlesque club?

Yeah, for the rap party. And then we went upstairs. What was the fuck? How'd you just breeze right over that? That's like a dozen jokes at once. Went in Columbus, yeah. I don't know what David Buster's... Priest walks into a Chinese burlesque club.

Asked for some pad tie in a blowjob. Not from the same president. He asked for a little bit of pants tie. You know what I mean? Whoa. Toad, tuck the noodle. Talk the noddle. A little surprise, surprise.

And so... You can say it. Surprise. Supply, supplies. Supply, supplies. Supply, supplies. And so he's up there. I'm sitting right to the right, and he goes, he's given out.

I think he gave out, like, a piece of the, like, the ground from one of the tours or something to everybody. And he was, like, even joking. Like, I know you guys are all like, money, this and that. That would have been cool, but, like, the ground or whatever. And then I, and then he looks down at me, and he goes, hey, man, he goes, oh, you're pretty funny. He goes, you're about to come up here, right? All right. Don't bomb.

And then everybody was like, ha, ha, ha, ha, laughed really hard, and I was like, oh, fuck. Fuck, what if I'd get up there. And they told me a few things to, uh, they gave me. Well, they'd give me a bunch of names and things of his, like, two of his crew. Oh. Like, to joke. Like, they roast the whole people. And the hotel, one of the gags I had was, like, he started posting pictures of people's signs at the tours.

And, like, everyone was making signs. Like, Justin, like, you know, I'm bringing sexy back, whatever. Can I get a kiss, you know? And so we bought a bunch of poster boards. And Norm shout, my sister Norm. produced the Phil shows with me, helped write a bunch of fake signs, because that was gonna be the last bit.

Like, I found a bunch of signs on the floors at your past tour, and I just want to show you guys some of the signs you found. And so we held up, and we, like, spent time with, like, stickers, we made a bunch of signs, make them all that kid signs,

but it was like, you know, you know, I'm here, you know, like, I'll suck you off on stage, like, let's, like, give me that black snake moan or whatever. Like, he was in that movie. Like, really aggressive ones. And then some were, like, play on words. And that bit killed.

at the end, but we were making them in the lobby, and somebody in his team, I guess they were all staying at the hotel, we were staying it. I didn't know that. And so somebody saw that, and then I printed up the jokes to roast the whole crew with at the front desk, and the front desk person, like, flagged it and sent it to his team, and somebody was like,

yeah, you can't do any of these. And I was like, oh, so I could, like, you know, panicked, wrote some other jokes. I think I opened with, you know, there's a big deal being here, shout out, like, Justin, and what a cool gift to giving, like, piece of the ground to your crew, man. That's awesome. Money, definitely, yeah, that wouldn't a... The ground, though, that's, dude, they're going to vote and never forget that, like, kind of, and he laughed. He's in the corner, and then I go, uh, he stuck around for maybe two jokes and then went up to kind of start parting, but the one that I hit him with, uh, where I go, uh, I go, you know, my sister, it's like crazy to be here.

Like, my sister had a JT, uh, poster above her bed, you know, I had a joy for a tone fleshlight in mine, and he just kind of laughed, and everybody laughed, and it was like one that people were paying attention for, I'd say, three to four minutes, and then it was just like, they're ready to party. And so then I started doing, like, material, and it was like, how much time were you supposed to, do? This is like 15, 20. I must have done 12. And that was probably six minutes too long. I should have done a few hitters. Tight five. And then get out of there. And but, but thankfully, I've done enough shit gigs to go like, there's a bar show. The amount of chatter was abhorrent. And like, to be honest with you, like, I was like, God damn it. So every time I do, I did some jokes, I was like, I'll do some weed jokes. And the jokes about having dogs as kids. And then, and then just the laughs, get some pockets of laughs, some guys in the corner, said something about them

being in January 6th, and then I get pockets of laughter, and then I just go, after every joke that wouldn't hit, I would just go, you know, look, guys, I'm not going to kill myself tonight, but maybe at the show tomorrow, like, and so then I would do a comment, and then that would get a big laugh. So I was like, thankfully, I'm comfy enough to go, I know how to at least handle this, and not just, because there's a version of that, I don't know, seven, eight years ago, maybe, where the flat line, and then just, so anyway, my dad is fucking bar, you know, and you just freeze up, you know? Get this guy

off the stage. Totally. So I at least like stood my ground, kept it moving and then was just like, well this didn't go the way you guys had planned, but this is exactly how I saw it going. I go, one more for JC shots, I said, whatever. But the first joke for Justin, he at least laughed and then he was like he goes, he goes, the flesh night, Joey's

like, he's big, right? It's bigger than you think. I go, it is. I go, dude, you are funny. Jimmy Fallon was right. And he laughed and then he like pointed me. And then afterwards he gave me hug, and he was like, dude, tough room, like whatever. And super sweet, man. But Tough room. Yeah. But yeah, it was like on the stage

there was a pole behind me, lighting not great. It's all, yeah. Those are not built. I don't give a fuck dope. I was there to fucking. You're there to have fun. Yeah, dude.

The name of my next tour is tough room. Not bad. Mine's gonna be called adult shit, I think. Adult shit. Because the guy, one of the managers at high in this past week. Can't put a cuss word in your tour name. You can't?

Nah, it doesn't make sense. Yeah, but this one's the who is me tour. That makes perfect sense. Yeah. Yeah. When you have a cussword in a tour, I'm always like, what is that for? Who's that for?

You know what? It does, because my mom is always like... Rockin' fucking roll. Coming to you live. The shit fuck tour. The shit fuck mouth fart tour. That sounds like... That sounds like the Swartson.

The Diarrhea Fart Shithead Tour. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The cock fart tour. That's funny. But it's Swarton. You'd go... He's the best. He's the only one that can do that.

Where that tour makes sense. Yeah. Imagine it's like Gaffigan... Jim Gaffigan presents. Fuck your mouth, bitch. Tour. Jerry Seinfeld presents the Pussy Fart Tour. What's the deal? Is it air? Is it a queef? Nobody knows.

I'll love it either way. I'm a quefehofer. I huff queens. Remember the first time you heard it? You went out and you checked the backyard for a hot air balloon. Canada's Wonderland is bringing the holiday magic this season with Winterfest on Select Nights, now through January 3rd. Step into a winter wonderland filled with millions of dazzling lights, festive shows, rides, and holiday treats.

Plus, Coca-Cola is back with Canada's Kindest Community, celebrating acts of kindness nationwide with a chance at $100,000 donation for the winning community and a 2026 holiday caravan stop. Learn more at Canada's Wonderland.com. Aqueef! Aqueath. Is it talking to you? Do you talk back? I got two women yelling at me, harder, deeper, harder, deeper. It's kind of Normandy. It's a little Normandy.

Oh, yeah, well, he's... Hey, harder, deeper. What are you going to do? All right, I'm gay. That's my Samarrell laughing at Mark, ready? Do Sam. So here, do a joke on the podcast. It's crazy because I was at New York.

I was at the Knicks game, right? I mean, it's not a good... My same is a little dog. It used to be Nicker-Bacher. All right. No, but we were at the Nick. I should have called him Nick U-Bocker. That's really good, dude, that's actually good.

I can do laughs of like, I can do a Samarillov. I can do a Rogan laugh, ready? Do Rogan. That is pretty good. That's all I can do. I can't do his actual voice. Because it's just a little too. Or if you sling a joke.

At the comedy store, we are crushing it. The mothership is just the story. We're crushing. That is good. He goes back and away. Up and away. His laugh is infectious. but that's all I can, his voice is really specific.

Or if you do a joke that doesn't land on his show, like do like joke and I'll do what he does when a joke doesn't land? Well, dude, it's like, you know, I'll go to Denny's and get the Grand Slam, but I'm like, you know, do I have to eat around the pub or do I have to eat it out of courtesy? Yeah, that's funny.

You, um, you, have you seen this polar bear fucking the shit out of this guy? And that's, I remember like the first couple of times I did it, I'd sling a joke, it didn't land, and he would be like, that's funny. Yeah. And I was like, no, Joe! Yeah, where jokes go to die.

He'll kill you sometimes, dude. Sometimes he'll shoot it right out of the sky. But I wonder, too, is it like, is it a like, he's thinking of his next question or it just didn't hit with them? No, it didn't make him laugh. It didn't make him laugh. Like that notorious clip of Shane being like, I'll just go on Rogan. And then Joe's like, is that what you thought? And he's like, no, no.

It was so good. It was so good. Because if it doesn't make him laugh, he's not going to feign it. He's just going to go, nah, it's not. That's a good shame, too. Oh shit, dude Who would you say Sebastian's a real impersonable

Probably the most impersonable Compton's probably the most Yeah, him or People do People have done Sebastian Nobody does A Norman I think probably now too

People just go like Yours is so good That they're just no one's fucking with it You can't come near my Norman You can't come near it And my Allie Wong is really good You've seen my alley Wong? That'll be

Yeah That'll be My Ali Wong is so good I've seen it yeah What? We didn't even do it We couldn't even get there You can't do it

It's just Bobby but pregnant Yeah dude it's Bobby but pregnant And they're the same size now Because he's on OZep Bobby but pregnant Looks good I know who said skinny Bobby They were making it said skinny He is skinny Papa Tom Papa goes skinny Bobby

I just I don't know I don't know It's skinny Bobby We made it outside today You guys congrats for making it outside I love Papa I made some bread God the guy makes great fucking He sent you home with some bread

huh? At the store, yeah. No. I need to go on his bread show. Wait, you've never done that? I need to hit him up. Oh, it's fucking, he's the man. I want to do it. And you'll eat and get real good bread. He's a great conversationalist, but when he came and did the... Brilliant comic, man. Brilliant comic. I think he gets his due credit, and he's obviously selling out everywhere, but like...

Yeah, well, I mean, just in the respect game of comics, he's... Papa's one of those guys where everyone's like, oh yeah, it's great, phenomenal comic. And if you're not, it's kind of one of those things where I don't trust you if you don't, if you're like, I'm not really a Papa guy. You're just like, oh, there's something for everybody with what you're wrong. You're wrong, yeah. I had a girl, I'm sure every comic has had this, but in line at the meeting Greek go, you know, I hate comedy, but I really enjoyed the show tonight. I don't need to hear it.

I go, and I go, that drives me nuts. Thinking of skin now to not take it personal, but I just go, I go, I go, that's so, I go, you're not the first person to have ever said that. I go, that also, I go, first of I feel bad for you. Are you like that miserable? Like, truly you hate comedy? Yeah. Like you never, I go, what do you watch comedically? And he goes, she's got some shows, she's got some shows, secret.

house of Mormon wives and I go that is very funny that's hilarious I go they're all just trying to like you know just like soak and like but they really just they're all soaking yeah soaking and the guy underneath the bed pushing that's the funniest that's the funniest that's the funniest that people that was that guy he's got a name what's his name the guy that's under the bed the soker no they got so you're soaking but there's someone under the bed that's like a mattress or a family member no but it's got to have a name there's like a there's like a there's like a there's like a there's like a there's like a in a in volleyball the Libero is the setter?

Yes. Right. Okay. So this is got to have a... There's a Chris Paul to the Blake Griffin. It's got to be a Steve Kerr out there somewhere. It's got to be a Steve Kerr.

It's also Steve Kerr. That was one of the most fun parts. John Paxton, that's Utah. He was the soaker of the Bulls. He was the fun part about doing it. Oh, no, I'm saying, no. Not John Paxon. What's wrong with me?

No. He was the Bulls. B.J. That was one of the fun things about doing a Phil show in Utah was like just, you know, every guest, we had Eric Griffin, Trevor Wallace, Dr. Drew and Hans Cam. and everybody brought up soaking.

And then at one point I just went to the crowd and was like, who does it, who's done it, and who's excited to try it, you know? And I just went out, but it was such a, I want to make the whole show about it, but it was like, we're in the place that it happened, so why not get it? They birthed the soap.

And there was a guy or gal, I think, that stood up that we chatted with. It was a guy gal. Yeah, it was a guy gal. It was one of those combo packs. You know, when you open up a trading card pack, you got Pokemon and a Frank Thomas. And you love combos, Dr. Phil.

I love them. What's your favorite flavor of Comboes? Stroganoff. Oh, you love the Stroganoff combos? Well, they don't make them anymore. Yeah, they discontinued them. Discontinued them.

And I'd like them to recontinue them, but, you know, you don't get what you want. Who said that? Caitlin Jenner, after she killed that guy. But, all right, well, check the Wi-Fi. Get online. Let me know what you see. I talk like him for hours, dude. I love it, dude.

Final Phil show. December 16th. It's got to be sold out. We're about a hundred and some away. It's selling. And it's going to... The final Dr. Phil show at the Wiltern, December 16th, Dr. Phil and some...

You don't even have the guest lineup yet. You haven't told anybody. I've got it. Oh, you haven't told anybody. We won't tell anybody. Oh, no, no. It's always a surprise. Which is why, like, I mean, look, we've got...

It's always a surprise. My agent when we were getting it going was like, you need to get the show to a point to where... Because, you know, the second show we ever did was Santino and Bobby Lee, one of the best episodes arguably in the history of the show. Oh, it was one of the... You know, what's always great is the amount of fun we had, I think Bob even had a good time.

There were so many just great moments. He stayed put and, like, bantered a lot. Yeah. But when you laugh hard, I mean, you're a great laugher, but, like, when you, you laughed hard like you did with that Harland lotion clip at Fahim dancing and a few other moments, like the orange cookie monster or whatever. Or, no, what was it? Sesame Street. Yeah. Asian Sesame Street.

Fortune Cookie Monster. Fortune Cookie Monster. But you just had some classic Santino guttural laughs. And I was like, oh, this is like. And I just felt with it. The crowdwork up top pre-guessed was, like, pretty strong. The episode was fantastic. But your pop in Chicago, Chicago Theater was an all-time.

That was a blessing. And so, but this one is, so now this show got to a point to where it sells without the guests. And it is now an added bonus to where it's like, you're coming to the last one. But, man, this one is like wild, dude. Yeah. And it's got, and I'm still throwing a few Hail Marys to get a couple. You will. They'll go.

They'll go. Whoever you're asking there. But it's already awesome. It's phenomenal. I got some buddies. Cosby, Epstein. All your favorite hits. Ron Jeremy.

Fauci. Fouchy. Danny Masterson. They let out for a week to come through the show. Can you imagine, by the way? That guy, David, who, that rapper, who killed that girl, he's coming. All your favorite cons, ex-cons. The dad of the bear that RFK ate.

We actually did do that in one episode. I go, please, I go, it was just how wild the show could be. The guests were Christa St. Stefano, I think, Stevo, Kumail, and Swartzen, I think. That is such a fucking hilarious lineup. Those four guys in a car traveling across the country? No, no, this was at the store. No, I know, but I'm saying, imagine those four guys in a car.

I know. The Stefano driving, Kumail, shitting shotgun, Stevo in the trunk for some reason. Yeah, yeah. And fucking, who's the fourth? Justifying. Steveo and Swartzen? Oh, Swartson?

Yeah. Fuck me. That's such a great call on. was on, we had this great bit about, he said something about, like, working at a call center, a call center, and then it was something about, I was like, I thought you were going to say it was like a phone sex thing, because he said he was like, I know I'm, you know, Pakistani I worked at a call sex, I was like, I thought you did phone sex. He's like, no, and he did a joke about butts and boobs. And I go, butts and boobs actually the first porn I saw. He goes,

it they goes, what was the premise of butts and boobs again? And I go, and we started improvising the premise. And, you know, he's such a great riffer. And he, like, laid out a whole nerdy premise to what butts and boobs would be about. Oh, I'm sure he could write a And it was like AI and all this shit And like anyway But so Chrissy D was playing American trivia Against RFK And Jeremiah comes out as RFK

And then we had Amanda My sweet wife We bought a bear costume And she came out as the bear You put her in a costume A bear comes out with the face cut out She's gonna leave you dude No she loved it

She loved it She came out and she was like There's a picture of her and Bobby actually I think it might be online Because he just came through the back Just to watch But we had her It was like

They did trivia against each other and then it was the bear that you killed like came back to life and left on the side of the road and so he was like I can't believe you found the bear you know and then she comes out and then she goes she goes stay away from my family bitch but she couldn't get through because she starts laughing yeah and then we had the fake

punch sound effects and she starts hitting them and like oh it's so funny dude she's the best but yeah that'll be great you got a great you got a great wife she loves it dude she's fucking she's the best she got it and made a nice she made a house a home she made a house a home bro you guys got a new house and I was like what a nice

She made a house of home. Did, uh... I don't like the muzzas everywhere, but what are you going to do? I know, it is a little much. But... As you walk in, right, as you walk in the door... Every room, you're supposed to bless every room. Well, you know how, like, in a convenience store, the bandan, you know, the, like, the bandan, when you walk in...

Yeah, I always goes... Ah, ha! Yeah, it goes... Da-la-da-da-da-da-da-ha. Every fucking room. I'm like, good Christ. That's a great song. Papa's home, the garage.

Ah-da-la-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha. It's a great, like... And you guys also have tunnels underneath your house. Where do those go? We do, we do. Straight to New York? We'll be right back. Can you imagine?

That's rich. I heard it. Thank you. I had stomach problems all morning. I apologize to the gas. Beer. We had a couple of beers last night. You know what the problem is at this age?

If I like whiskey, have a couple glasses of whiskey, fine. A couple beers now, my stomach, I am like fucking. Not a beer? I had a beer at the World Series, and that was. because baseball, but like, not my preff. Not my preface. I get so full, so quick. Well, you feel like, well, we're also getting older, fatter, quicker, so you're like,

this is going to fat me out. Yeah. By the way, sorry. Sorry. Real close. Sorry about the marriage. Real close. Did I think you guys were going to win?

Yeah, you did. Yeah, I did, actually. In that game seven or the whole series? The series, I was kind of shocked. We were up 2-0. No, that's not why. I just thought just better baseball, some of the strongest hitters in the game. We won't need to get nerded out on baseball, but I would love to.

But, yeah, Cal, shout out to my boy, Cal Raleigh, had the most epic season for a catcher. He'll find out if he wins. I don't know if this comes out, but this Thursday he'll find out if he wins. There's an argument to be made that he doesn't, but I think you're out of your mind. Yeah, Aaron Judge had a crazy offensive year, but Cal said all these records, a catcher doesn't hit 60 home runs, dude. It's impossible, yeah. He skipped three games, calling the game playing every, I mean, I don't know. Judge made some cool catches.

No, Judge won't get it this year. I do think he's- You think he'll give it to Cal? I think the kid deserves it. I think just given home run derby champ, plus kind of like a guy you root. He's an every man. Well, a guy you root for. Judges is a action figure. He's an untouchable.

Cal is like he owns a chick filet in Rancho Cucamonga. And he does. And guys, the address for that is right below. It's right below promo code Big Dumpur. Big Dumper. It's big dumpa. It's Big Dumper. Big Dumper.

What a great nickname, by the way, right? The big dumper. Yeah, it's fucking, well, the guy's got a shitter. It's unbelievable. His butt, it touches his cabs. when he sits. It has to. Yeah, he sits on it, though.

It's like, you and I would have to squat. He wipes from right here. He's that high. He's that high of a butt. Check it up. Get online. Get online. Get on the Wi-Fi.

What's the name of the Soaker? Did you look that up? I don't know if this is accurate, but it said the Jumpman. I love that. Jumpman, 23. Uh-huh. Put him under the bed. Well, it's Jordan's IG handle, right?

Yeah, the Jumpman. Oh, the Jumpman for the Soker. Yeah. No way. The guy underneath is the Jumpman. Your post. Jordan's had that IG handle. Jordan's had that IG for a minute.

Shout out to MJ, by the way. Michael, I know I owe you a little bit of money from last time we played golf. You have not golfed with them. I think I owe him $875,000. You haven't golfed him. Based on that joke number. Well, you know, that's true.

He bets like $100,000 a hole. You know that, right? You've never heard this? You've never heard this before? I remember you never have an orgy with him. Yeah, well, that has nothing to do with that at all. Gotcha. But, yeah.

Oh. 100 grand a hole? Sometimes, I mean, dude, he's got games. He's got, through the, look, I'm speaking out of turn here. I've never experienced it I have heard from people that say he loves to gamble on the golf course as many rich athletes like him do and apparently he's had historically

huge games where it is it gets up to crazy numbers like a hundred grand a hole. Now I've never experienced it it's allegedly but it's a great story to tell because you're like if that's true that's fucking unreal does that take some of the fun out of it for you because you love golf so much would you let the gambling world bleed in

and kind of dilute it or no or is that part of the fun of it? I would never play for it That's insane. What the fuck? Like that? Oh, you mean like gambling in general? Oh, no, no. You'll throw, yeah, no, you have to gamble. Yeah, you have to. No, no, no, you throw a couple nickels on it for fun. Yeah. But like not, not something. Not a life change. Not gross. No, no, no, no, not even. That feels not fun. Not even bummer money. Not even where you're like, well, I didn't like losing that.

Like me and the guys that I play with, friends that I play with, yeah, brother, you might, you might lose 30, 40 bucks. It's just for fun. It's just to, like, you know what it really is? It's like, you buy the beers or whatever. You know what I mean? Like, when the round is over. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's good.

It's a courtesy more than anything of like. Or we all win still at the end of it. Yeah, because what the fuck are we talking about? Yeah. By the way, who said that? Somebody just said that it was like so quotable in my brain. They were like, I don't. like giving my friends money and I don't want to take theirs either and I was like that's I like that's

I like that's I like I don't we don't need to have that weird like you owe him $500 like fuck that what do we taught why no so you bet for a couple of bucks it's actually more fun for less money yeah because then it's like you know if you're like who presses on five bucks yeah yeah totally it's something fun and stupid yeah because I imagine if you do get like a Jordan and that level it's not interesting for him unless it's a fucking unbearable amount of money. Also, that 100K must just be like, not... Nothing to him, but cripple the guy he's taking it from. Ripple the guy.

Like, imagine the guy is, like, calling his business manager like, hey, um, yeah, I'm in Florida. Yeah, you saw the charges. So we owe, we owe Michael $600,000. You can call my wife and tell her she's going to be sex trafficked. And, yeah, and tell my wife she can keep the house. and the kids. I'm jumping into the ocean.

Yes, I'll be walking right into the ocean. Yeah, I'm going to lose you in three, two. Sorry, but I DMed MJ when we were going to Chicago. You slid? Yep, I've done it with a handful of celebs. Hey, man, I'm sure you've had people reach out. Sometimes you go, oh, yeah, they're comedy fans. Maybe they know.

Boubley and I have struck up a little friendship because of that. With just being like, oh, I, Michelle Bublet. And, um. Hey, that guy's got fucked. That guy can sing his dick off. He's unbelievable. He's wild. And a cool, he's from Vancouver, so Seahawks guys, so we do that.

Oh, he's from Canada? Yeah, yeah. I'm out. I don't like him. It's a no for me, Doug. That's a no for me, dog. One of the most popular catchphrases of the 90s. Yeah, it's a no for me, Doug.

I'm out. In here, we pour whiskey. Boys, boys, boys, I want to tell you about Mars men. Mars men is the best. Look, as we get a little bit older, I'm 42 years old. and at 42, you're a little bit slower. The mornings are a little bit harder. Getting to the gym was a little bit tough.

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dude it was like this kid he's like rapping and his brother next to him was like and it says like when you bring your brother to work and the guy's like I'm going with my tan and I'm chilling in my car and then the brother on the side doesn't know when to interject and he goes in my car in my car and then it comes back to Simon he goes and then it cuts to the woman and she's like and then the guy goes and then I told him about go outside to get the food and he goes because I'm getting enough food I'm getting enough food and then Simon's like and I'm just like they didn't even try to hide no how much they were just like laughing at these people and these guys were and they were and they were and then you see them like as he was rapping like looking up and seeing them laughing like and we go to the fins and the fun should keep going like oh like so good so funny and like I love that they aired them all that was a genius of that show nobody I gave less of a fuck about the competition I cared more about the auditions it was that's the beauty of that was what a find that show look America at the end of the day predicates itself on the idea that if you think you can go for it go for it sing yourself out of the shower on the out of the out of the out of the out of the show that's it's

stage but if you suck it's going on YouTube and we're gonna make funnier for the rest of your life but why don't they do it like the Apollo how come that's not back Showtime at the Apollo should be a hit show again well Star Search they're bringing back for Netflix apparently but I want to see the Apollo because they boo you and I think that's fucking amazing

oh that's the twist huh no they fucking boo you right off stage my guy they will boo your at that is what I want again like the problem with American Idol on all these shows is they're too like safe for American audiences Bano's like great voice and I like your pants give me the Apollo give me Cat Will Williams fucking roasting you off the stage.

Like the way Jamie Fox did with that guy at the shack roast? Oh my Christ, dude, that poor guy, that guy never recovered. He didn't, did he? Never fucking recovered from that. That, by the way, is it all the time. That hurt my feelings. You weren't even on the panel. You're like, Jesus. Oh, my God, I'm still talking right now. This is your conscience. You haven't seen that it's worth a look up. Holy shit.

Jamie Fox just absolutely can't. What's his name? What's wrong with me? Why can I think it's like something Harrison, I think? Rodney Harrison, right? Yeah. Yeah, he's a famous comedian. He still is. I'm no disrespect. I don't know him well. But that clip was... He took it in stride, dude. I mean, like, he laughed it off.

You have to, dude. And played the straight man in it because, like, you can't... You have to smile when you're getting stabbed, dude. Also, Jamie Fox was... It was still Jamie... It was Jamie Fox. He wasn't Ray Jamie Fox at that point of way. Yeah, but he still was fucking the guy.

Isn't that who it was, right? Rodney Harrison, is that right? I couldn't find you. Jamie Fox, do Jamie Fox roasts rod... Just like a Rodney Harrison. I think that's his name. At the shack, it was for Shaq. It was a shack roast.

Yeah. No more. Have you ever done a roast? Did a jelly roll roast. Not taped, not filmed They taped it I don't think they'll put it anywhere You'd be great on those fucking things

You know, I'm not The one roast I ever did first And really only was Josh Wolfe put together He's friends with Big Poppy Did Ortiz Love Josh Wolf Love him, shout out

He put together a roast For a Big Poppy's charity In Boston at the House of Blues And it was Anthony Mackie A great actor Saratiana, Bill Burr Dustin Padraea, Gronk Jonathan Coachman

Jesus Myself Fuck who else Josh obviously and Big Poppy and it was supposed to be filmed for Showtime and for Nesson, the Boston Sports Network

and the next day will gronk backstage, I dressed up, I go I'm not really a roast guy, and now I feel a little more comfortable doing it, just because I've done a bunch of characters and doing it, and the jelly roll roast I think gave me a little more confidence. But you do it in character? No, I did it as myself. Oh, okay. And like, Kid Rock was up there and they told us not to make fun of Kid Rock. They were like, please don't

no jokes about Kid Rock. He's just hanging out. He just wants to have some cocktails, and all I heard was... No talk about Kid Rock, and then you crumple up an entire sheet of Oh, no, there goes all of my shit. I rolled the dice and did a few anyway. I go, Kid Rock, I see you up there. I'll make this quick. I know you got to get back to talking too loud at a Cracker Barrel.

And then I got a pretty laugh. I go, Crack or Barrel is actually how Kid Rock's life is going to add. Anyway, what else we got? And we had a little exchange after the show. Nice guy to you. Motherfuck, you're fucking funny fucker. You know, Norman's like, hey, hey, careful. You put him in a tight end up.

Hey, you're going to break my neck. And then I have a picture with me, Kid Rock. I heard you live in the White House, Kid Rock, and I heard you like it white. You keep it that way, huh? I'm doing my new special. I'm doing a Biden stand-up special, by the way. One night only at the OR. Are you?

Yeah. You're doing an hour as Biden? I'm going to do probably 15 minutes, but bringing Godfrey out to play Black Trump. Black Trump, so good. And it's going to be, I might have somebody play Hunter. I might have Jared do RFK. But I'm going to do about 10-15 of stand-up. Have me coming as Prince Andrew.

Are you serious? God's so excited. Doug Williams. Oh, fuck me. Yeah. Rodney Harrison's a football player. Yeah. Sorry about that.

I'm fucking hungry. over. That's all right. I'm moving real slow today. You don't seem like it. Upstairs my, dude, they're playing, I'm playing, you know, you're playing tennis. I'm playing, uh, fucking paddle ball upstairs. I'm fucking, but this is why these... What's it called pickleball? I couldn't even get it out. We added this out.

You're playing tennis, I'm playing handball. Venice Beach handball. That one guy that's always played handball when he used to go play basketball on the west side and I'd go to Venice Beach to play ball. One guy playing handball practicing by himself in those in those, in those concrete caves. That guy's either the coolest guy on earth or the scariest motherfucker

alive? I don't want to see him at a right 8 at 2 a. Brother, you, because he's working. He's like, get out of here. I'm stocking. You know where the plan B is? And you go, what? He's behind the counter. I just want to make sure you know. All right. All right, brother. All right, brother. You work here, right? You're the reason they put a glass shield over the vitamins now.

Do you know that? I'm taking Tylenol all day long. Acidimine minifin. Acidicin. Acidimine amicin is right next to Afghanistan, of course. It's the iny-meaty-meany-a-seen-a-me-it. It's the in-e-meany-meany-seed-a-me-me-a. I saw Matt Friend came into town and did a bunch of, did spots at the store and did a bunch of his stuff. It is up for debate on who does it the best at this point.

His, okay, so Friends Howard is untouchable. Untouchable. But his Trump is different. I mean, they're all different, all these guys, but Shane's is probably my favorite. And James, James Austin Johnson on SNL is fucking. He's got the gritty of that. And then there's, Matt's got a lot of the, uh, well, not even that. Matt's got more of the grungier that...

He goes down a lot, yeah. But he does a lot of the face and the way he like tilts his head a lot and leans towards the crowd. Yeah, he does that. The body language. He does mannerisms. Is it James Austin Johnson? I said it right, right? Yeah, because I'm fucking up everyone's name today.

He's fucking rad. A lot of rad people on that fucking show, man. Veronica got on that show, stoked for her. She's super funny. Is her name Ashley Padilla? Ashley Padilla. She's fucking amazing. Well, she's going to be a pop-off.

Yeah, well, she was on last year and had a few standouts, but she's really but this year they're kind of giving her some more work she's Heidi solid to me where she's just like every sketch

I'm like oh I want to I want to watch her I think she's wow I think she's better I think she's fucking great she's not no shot at her

I just think she's got she's got cool range I've seen her do different stuff where you're like well this is really fucking different

she's also she's gonna pop off and I think get her own show of some sort yeah 100% yeah yeah you know who she's like

Sedaris oh wow she reminds me of how Amy Sedaris is very kind of like uniquely her own Oh, yeah. I mean, she, because I think Amy's one of the funniest fucking people to walk the earth.

And she's so her shit. Like, when you're so your shit, you're like, oh, nobody could, literally nobody could do. Someone could try to do that. Like, everyone could try to do a sketch show. A lot of people could do a sketch show. It's hard to do a sketch show where it's so obviously your sketch show. Right. Where it's like, well, this is what you do the best.

No one does this better. Right. What was it? Jerry Blank. What's wrong with me? Jerry Blank. Oh, my fucking God. Jerry Springer.

Jerry Garcia. Oh my god. Jerry Lewis. No, Amy... Amy Sitters. Strangers with Candy. Yeah, but the Jerry Blank. It wasn't called Jerry Blank?

Wasn't that the name of the character? No. Fuck, dude. Jerry Jewel. Thanks a lot, Miller Light. This is sponsored by... What was it? Yeah, Jerry Blank.

Jerry Blank. I was right. That was the character she did, right? Yeah, cool. When she was like, okay, you guys. And she went back to high school as a fucking grown woman. grown woman. She was fucking, dude. Dude, she's so funny. Anyway, I'll tell you what. Yeah. I thought for years that I've known you that I just thought, I don't like Adam.

Yep. You thought you settled in for something real for a second? I did it. I dug you in. That's funny. Good misdirect. Mistirect is the best. Quick story. Fast story. Long story. One of the funniest nights in my life. Take your time. I mean you getting hammered doing the Christmas special, me kicking in your door. Maybe one of the funniest things on. I kicked in Adam's fucking door. Now, did you tell me to do it? Kind of. I think I did.

I said, we needed to get in. Yeah, but I kicked it in. And I broke in his door on and up wearing. What was it? Waring, yes. 7054 Wayway Avenue. Right next to pinks. We got handboned.

We came home. We were locked out. Was your roommate home and sleeping and wouldn't answer the door or something? Yeah, he broke. So I kicked out. Shout to Sean. He was passed out on the floor. Yeah.

All the gas was on. We would do that from time to time. Leave the gas on. I mean, and I kicked in and broke that door. The amount of, fucking wonky roommates. You've kind of, you, you're pretty parallel with me. I've had some fucking wackadoos, but yeah, you've had some good ones. I had a guy that painted the ceiling. Okay, that was one of the funniest things ever. I came home, he ripped up the carpet. He's like,

there's wood floors under here, man. And I was like, why the fuck did you rip up the carpet, bro? Now there's glue all over the place. We're walking in glue. And then he painted the living room, blue, like darker than this, like dark, dark, dark blue. And he, and then I look up, the motherfucker painted the ceiling. And he goes, I got some paint on your TV, man. And I was like, What the fuck, dude? You don't paint the ceiling. He goes, it looks more homey. I was like, no, it looks like a cave.

It looks like we're going to cut up bodies in here. So that's something that needs to be discussed with the household. Oh, brother, he didn't give a fight. He was just paint the ceiling. This dude, he owned vending machines. He was such an enigma. He worked for Tom's shoes when it first started. Remember Tom's shoes?

Fake place? No, I don't. Fake place? Tom's shoes. The guy who, if you bought a pair of shoes. He was for Leanne's Drears. That is Bert's wife's business, actually. Leanne's drive.

Shout out. Let's put the Instagram up. Shout out. Shout out, Leanne, one of the best. One of the best. Probably the greatest Chrysher, Leanne. Hey, she's part of the best craters. That's the crusher when I see her to take her shirt off.

Come on. I got five black friends. Tyrone, Jamal, Bebop, and Rock City. Dude. Also, for real, shout out to the Chrysher. Some of the nicest people that are... Some of the best humans that have walked here. Leanne.

Number one. Number one, dude. I do. I love Bert, but come on, man. Wait, you want to hear a great roommate story? Probably two weeks before. Leanne Kreischer one time? Yeah, we did for about three weeks.

It was a Craigslist find. No, I was living on Laurel in Hollywood. Remember the old place? Right up the street from the Laugh Factory. Yeah, right around the corner from where I used to live. Yes. Yeah, we were in fucking neighbors. Yes, which was the best.

We walked dogs together. Walk dogs together. And there was, I went to the Ghostbusters premiere. I had a little part in that and got the voice slimer. And I met Ray Parker Jr. that night at the premiere. I met Ackroy. It was awesome. It was one of those premieres that, like,

It was the Paul Fieg, all-female ghost buzzer. So everybody came to it, and it was at Man's Chinese, and then they'd rent it out to Roosevelt and turn it into, just, they went nuts. Sony spent a lot of money. Did they put slime all over it? Everyone got slime, dude. And guess what?

And guess what? It was come. We got you there, we got you there, we got you there. That's not good. It was an impractical jokers, it was an assault. That's illegal, man. They all got busted. They all got busted.

That's bad. But guess what? Buster makes you feel good. Oh, damn. All right. Boston make me feel good. So Ray Parker, meet him. he uh he goes then what you do man what you do and i go uh no what's that accent that you're doing

jamaican oh and i go uh i go uh i'm a comedian man he goes man you perform her out town i go yeah he goes i would love to come see you live and i go take my number swap numbers with ray parker junior still got it cut to call him eric marino shout out was there we get comedian yeah okay end of the night i'm just i always stick around these things till the very end when i did the heat i stuck around the very end at the heat premiere new york was myself joy mcinty mcintyre who we became buds at night, one of my best buds now. Allison Jones, who cast the movie, my best friend Anthony Ariama, who drove up from D.C.

Since fifth grade, just to be there, Allison Jones' niece's nephew, and Ben Affleck was there, shit-faced. And I have a picture. It might be online of me, Ben Affleck, and they had a heat poster that you could take pictures up in front. And Allison Jones was like, I really want a picture with Ben. I go, I'll ask him. So I'd go up.

I had asked him earlier to take a picture with Puddin, and he was so sweet. He was like, oh, yeah, good job in the movie, man. Blah, blah. I go, you might take a picture with my mom. She's a big fan. And he's like, he's like, I know it's you, man. I know you're the fan.

I go, I am, dude. Do you mind now? And like, this is real fun. And then he got a picture, but he was shit-based at the end of the night. And it's me, Ben, Allison, and my buddy. And Ben did not want the picture. But I was like, Allison wants it. It's only us.

There was us in the staff. And with a picture. And we're all like, and Ben's like, hammered. Is it online? We've got to find that. Adam Ray Heat, Affleck picture. And what is that?

Ben Affleck is the, that's Matt Damon's buddy? It's Matt Damon's buddy. He was in Goodwill Hunting. I don't think I don't think he did anything after that he was in he was in not basketball but a movie about I don't know he was I think he was something he once directed J-Lo in a short film let's see yeah great

oh fucking so hammered wait Christ you put that online he was probably like fuck dude yeah I might have tagged him in it too is he sober bober now damn Adam who's that to your left who is that girl that blonde girl she's another one of the casting gals in New York Yeah, she looks familiar.

Yeah, you know her. God damn it. Anyway, Ray Parker meet Marino and I. I'm staying until the end of the premiere. I'm just staying until the end. Melissa McCarthy's shoutout was staying. We had some cocktails. Then she leaves.

Then me and Marino there, and I'm like, I can walk back home. He's like, I'll walk with you. Walk back to a certain point of Hollywood. He dips out. I go back. And I'm, man, I turned it up. And I'm like, I've blacked out maybe twice ever. This was pretty close.

And I get back. I get the code to go in. don't have my keys on me and my roommate at the time was gone and all I want to do we've all been there if you drink you smoke

you throw them back you like to have a good time you turn things up you spark one up you burn one down you know what I'm talking about all you want you're thinking of bed food

because I just was mingling and drinking I just I barely I didn't eat any of the fun little Ghostbuster you know proton pack cupcakes or whatever the bullshit they had I didn't touch I didn't eat anything

so I'm starving and I got this Thai place that's always open late that I'm at order from and called Bob we leave's pregnant and I order from this tie that's a call back to earlier and I I order the food. Is it coy

or toy? It might have been, no, it was another place I don't think it's open anymore. Okay, yeah. But I used to prank call it. Because of you. Yeah. Because of me. Well, we used to prank call it. When Brad and I would do the podcast, when we had anyone on that would do impressions, we would have them prank call this Thai restaurant that I always ordered from. And I never felt bad because I go I give him a lot of business. Justin Rowland, who did

Rick and Morty, prank called him as Rick and Morty. Erie Spears called his DMX and ordered that N-word shrimp. That was so good. That was so good. Yeah. You heard that? Yeah, the N-word shrimp? Yeah. It was delicious. But it was always late.

By the way, the guy said it back. Well, he goes, the way, he said it back, and oh, he's dying. Aries. And then we had Dana Carvey do Paul McCartney and order some, like, you know, you have a muz-you-book. I mean, so funny. The moose-e-book. So I get home, no keys.

The food is on the way. I'm like, fucking so pissed. I start, like, banging on the door. I think my roommate might be in there. Bang it on the door. So, fuck it. My phone's about to die. I call locksmith.

Locksmith comes down. He's like, it's going to be about 45. I'm like, it's all good, man. Just come on as soon as you can. I'll give you double if you can just get here as soon as you can. I'm starving. I'm fucked up. I got to get inside.

All right, man, comes down. Tries like 80 keys. None of the keys have worked. And now I'm just getting frustrated. I'm like, you're supposed to be a locksmith. And now I'm going to get a little toty. And he goes, the fuck does that mean, dude? I go, you got a thousand keys.

Not one of them can open this door. This door is like, this isn't a new door. I'm like, I just mean such an asshole. It's a schleg. It's a regular schleg. And he goes, he goes, dude, I fucking, he goes, this is what I fucking do. It's not my keys. It's your door.

Roxanna, my landlord, comes down, Adam, please. She'd already give me a hard time earlier that week. Why didn't she fucking give you a key? She didn't have my key. You're supposed to leave copies of your keys with them. I never, it's one of the things I just never did. Such an Adam Ray move. Yeah, totally.

To just, yeah. And so she doesn't have a key. And so she's like, just keep it down, though. Because like, now we're getting complaints, being loud. Me and the guy are getting into it. I'm like, I don't. even think you fucking whatever, dude. He's just, I'm like, I called you out. He's like, we still

gotta pay me? I'm like, I'm paying you shit. Get fuck. He goes, already charge your card, buddy, and just kind of got my face. I go, you're the worst fucking locksmith I've ever fucking seen, bro. And he's walking away. He goes, you want to get in your place? You want to get in your fucking place? I go, yeah, I go, but I'm going to call another locksmith. He goes, fuck that. Turns around, pulls a Santino, and Van Dam's

my door down. And it fucking splits. And I go, yes, I gave my hug. He goes, you got it, man. I go, he goes, leave a five-star review. I go, awesome. Thank you so much. My food shows up right after that. I sit down, I walk in. I'm like, oh, fucking pat-tie.

Roxanne comes back by fucking, you got to keep it down. I sit down. I'm eating my pat-tie. Door's broken. I got in. I opened my phone. There's a 48-minute voicemail being left on Ray Parker Jr.'s phone. I swear to God.

And I just pick it up and I go, oh, shit. I go, Ray, big fan. Great to meet you. You called him in the middle of it. The whole thing was on the voicemail. He's going to write a song about it. right now. He didn't listen to any of it. It's one of those things where you, like, you know, on the iPhone, you just go, 48 minutes, just met this guy,

would he send me his whole set? But imagine. Isn't that crazy? Him listening to you, argue with a locksmith and walk home. Real heated, too. Him hear you, say to the locksmith, you're like, I'm waiting. I'm, why you to get inside? They're about to deliver my N-word shrimp in about two minutes. It's an Erie Spears joke. By the way, this isn't a new door. Yeah, I know like I'm getting fired up telling the story, but it for sure was

slower. It was shot a new door, bitch, motherfucker. Well, no, you do this, you go, it's not like it's a fucking new door, and then to his, as a, to the side, fucking bitch ass, mother. You know you're mumbling under your breath to the guy? Poor bastard. And shout out to Mike Work Locks. Uh, Mike, Mike,

Mike Work-Lox. Is that your guy? Mike Work-Lox. Yeah, like at Mike Work-Works, you never know. That's what he says. Funny, that's like, Mike Work-Lox. That's like the porn name Will Pounder. I met him at the Laugh Factory. Will Pounder. Yeah, he's good. I like, uh... Must fucker.

Yeah, must, uh, um... Now, what's the big black guy's name? Mike Cox. Jason's Jason something? Or Mike Hawk. Mike Hawk. Mike Hawk. Yeah.

Mike Hawke. But you say it fast. You know what you're getting. Shout out to the adult film industry. Bop mattress actress, matress actresses. What? What is that? You don't know what a Bop is?

Sake. You're not one of the kids. You're not cool with the kids. But I know what talking heads is. You don't know what a mattress actress is? That's what they call themselves now online to not get, They do that online. Mattress, actress.

They say that on TikTok now so they don't get fucked by the algorithm, right? You can't say Porn Star. YouTube probably just banned me for that. They also say corn. Yeah, they say Corn Star. Or instead of saying like someone died or murdered, they said they got unalived. We talk like babies now. I don't like that.

They got unalived me. Who started that? Imagine if the news was like an unalived mattress actress or a bop in the streets. Dude, the news bloopers. I can't get enough of, one of my favorite rabbit holes. Soldiers coming home early to surprise their kids and news bloopers, two of Adam Ray's favorite rabbit holes. News bloopers.

News bloopers. There's one where the woman goes. And a man in... And get this. And get this. A man in North Dakota was found. A man who'd been lost for six days, and when they found him, he was gay or blind. Yes, I love that.

He's that one. Just totally. And get this, he's gay. Blind. There's a couple real good ones. Oh, there's also a bug in the mouth. Black Guy Bug in the mouth? What's that?

Black guy by the fence Get the bug in the mouth? What the fuck is that? That's so good. Oh, that's a guy in the being interviewed. But my favorite is Serene Branson. We brought her up many times.

Serene Branson outside of The terrace heads of the pit. The pether pit. Shout out serene. We love you in the studio. Well, you know I did that video. Serene Branson?

So. What do you mean? You duped it? No. So back when, you know, we're throwing up YouTube vids. Dunkin Rocks. sketches that's right christmas party sketch yeah yeah uh the sloppy very sloppy christmas still up

on the tube um check it out this holiday season our christmas uh album yeah i know i know but what did i say uh uh it's you're like santa claus coming town i'm like big deal yeah yeah we've rendered four bottles of wine and blunts and then drank and then i fill in the weed is what pushed us into fucking space we were just we were drunk we were fine and drunk and then the weed out we were like, we went back to 1969, actually landed on the moon. Yeah, yeah, we were the original ones. But so...

I was fucking wrecked. There's a video, it's on... Your roommate drove us. He drove us back, thank God. I did, you know, I was trying to be topical with some videos, and literally, I met home it was a Sunday night. Whittooey?

And it was... Say it again? Whittooey? Whittoo? Yeah, you were a widow. Did I just say that? No, I just, you're supposed to. Oh, what? Nobody says L's anymore.

Oh, Wittoo. Don't take an L. Do you understand what I'm saying? Yeah, yeah. By the way, I was a big fan of that kid in my school that had the Wittowee? With the speech with Wittowee? You had a kid that said that? We had a kid named. Adam? You Wittowee the best baseball player we have. We had

our guy was William Wright, so. Unbelievable. William White. Oh, I can't say the guy's name because I'm going to fucking... I love saying the full names. I've done it on this pod many of times. I do sometimes for guys, but if I'm not friends with them anymore. Nah, but my intentions are good. And the shoutouts I've given of always, it's never been like, this fucking, you know.

We had a guy with the list. His name was Sen Soled Weddle. Imagine that. that's called. Sen-Sow-Wittle. Sen-S-O-Wetto. Yeah. You know what, you guys? You know what? Speaking for Sen-S-O-Wetto, which is me.

He only spoke in third person, too. Yeah. I mean, you can go down to Sizzler, but it's a pretty slippery slope these days. Also, in retrospect, fucking killer name, Sen. Sen. Sen is a dope name. S-E-N-N. Yeah, Sen-Soldwettle.

Let's go. That's funny when I think about, Adam, lame name, Andrew, lame name. Like, these are boring. They're run of the mill. First man. First man. first real composer that got some, you know, buzz

Andrew Lloyd-Weber. Lloyd Wright? Who's that? Frank Lloyd Wright, built houses. Andrew Lloyd-Weber made one of the greatest musicals of all time. And by the way, did I have an you want to know how art faggy I might be? Had an Andrew Lloyd-Weber poster in my fucking room as a kid.

I thought Phantom of the Opera was the greatest thing ever. It was Batman. I've talked about this many times. Phantom of the Opera was Batman. It's the way I loved Batman is the way I love Phantom of the Opera. You love Batman? Superman. Get Nerd. Never got it.

Spider-Man can kick a bunch of rocks. Peter Parker, skinny, dork? Get the fuck out of here. Also, not real. Batman was like, you're like, oh, that's a guy, a rich guy. Yeah, he's a piece of shit when you really think about it, but I did like that. I liked him as Batman. As Bruce Wayne, he's a fucking turd. Yeah. He's a rich philanthropist dickhead

who throws like lavish parties and it's kind of rude to everybody. And you know he's paid off a lot of Me Too cases. Oh, I'm sorry Oh, he's great to women Okay He hasn't been in his bad cave Yeah, there's real consensual shit going on there Yeah, and Alfred has to watch it all

He's cucking all of it I'll watch sir He's like, I'll film for you, sir Well, it was Morgan Freeman and then Michael Kane, right? Michael Kaye So Michael Kane and then Olga Freeman was like Put your cell phone in this basket

And sign this piece of paperwork Before he enters you Is this normal? Well, it is today It is for you It is in, and make sure to sign up for a visa express card. He's selling master cards on the go. Cut.

Well, I have a deal in my contract. It's part of my contract. It's a push on the people. Biggest creep of all the, of all the, uh... Me tours? Well, no, male superheroes. Oh, yeah. Not superheroes.

Iron Man. He was cool. No, I was going to say, I guess I mean like male. James Bond was a fucking asshole. Oof. He just, like, fucked everybody's wife and blew the world up, and they were like, Oh, you're so debonair, James Byr. Yeah, that was that time, though.

He was a dickhead. He was a dickhead. When you really look at it, you're like, this guy's a dick, dude. But we like that. We like, we like shit. Well, I'm glad he's British. It's where the Kardashians are so famous. We like seeing people loaded and fucking doing cool shit.

Yeah, but that's like 19 seasons of whatever. At this point, what are they doing? She got, she's in a show, by the way. She what? I tried to start this show last night. It's her. Kim Kardashian? Kim Kardashian.

It's, um, oh, Sarah Paulson and, uh, what's her name? older white actress not Blanche Naomi Watts but give me another one Nacey Nash No you know what I'm looking for The name when I say you're like

One of our best actresses Glenn Close Glenn Close Oh Glenn Close is amazing I'm supposed to say Rob Farther What's that? Literally one of my favorites All's Fair

All's Fair is a show It's on Hulu And it's about I think divorce lawyers And it looks She failed the bar It should be a great It should be I just thought a clue

her whole family So all four of our psychics are full of fucking shit because they all told me I was gonna pass the bar so just heads up fire all of the psychics and I was like whoa all these girls are packing up I mean they live

they live at the Kardashian house oh I'm blast dude wait but so Serene Branson so Sunday night I'm watching the How do we get away from that? Tarrison to head to the pit Tearsen Tether the Heather pit the Setherpit or whatever Let's head to the pit let's head of the pit Let's head of the pit it was the Grammys

It was Sunday night, and I'm just like, in my room and, you know, smoked a bowl and got to get up and go put on the Wolverine Clause the next morning. And I'm watching Grammys in the background, and then Grammys end, and she's out front. Look, let's go down to Serene Branson with a post-Grammys report on the winners and losers. Serene? Well, this was a crazy night. So many winners, so many losers. But at the end of the day, Smofferson, Pevereton, Pepperton, Peatherton, Peather-Pitt. A very heavy burlitation.

So. That stuck out to me. I literally go like this. Very heavy burlitation tonight. Let's go ahead, say the patient's head to the pit. It's got to the pit. Brilliant, by the way. Dude, I watched it about a thousand times.

I don't know if it's worth pulling up my video, but I'll just at least send it to you. We'll pop it up. We'll pop it up. So I, full Tim Taylor, turn around to the TV, go, what the fuck? I watched it in real time. No one's watching the post-news Sunday night Grammys report. It's literally you.

Nobody. No, it's you. And I turn around, I go, get the fuck out of here. And I go, and then she goes, back to you. And then they go, well, and they ask like, nothing's wrong. And I immediately go online. I get my fucking, I set my thing up. I go, I have to do a video that's, I go, what's the hook on this?

I go, this is going to be news tomorrow. I just knew that. And I go, I'm going to do a video breaking down what she said. So I do a video talking to camera and talk about long hair, Adam. I go, guys, Adam right here. And blah, blah. And Sarin Branson went on and I play the video. And then I go, everyone's freaking out thinking something, like, she had some sort of panic attack,

which, by the way, the next day they covered up and were like, she had a stroke. She didn't have a stroke. I'll cut to the... So I go, I go, but what she said was actually all real words, and I break it down with, like, music, and I go, Lose Taven to Tether the Heather Pit. I go, that means like they went out, they tried their bed,

I just broke it all down. And I put it up the next morning at like 8am and it... I have two videos that went viral in a short amount of time. My Kermit the Frog reaction to two girls one cup, got about 10 million in two days. Yeah, that was amazing. And then this one. I'd

say by 2 o'clock that day, it had 800,000 views on YouTube. Back then, that's fucking insane. That's like 20 million. What year was this? That Serene Branson, do you mind? Oh, God, I don't know. So it was...

You were still working at Universal Studios? Oh, yeah. And it just popped, maybe 2010 or 2011? 2011, February. Boom, circle gets a square. So, dude, fuck. So I... So long ago.

I'm getting some subscribers. It's being... Back when Facebook didn't mind if you shared a YouTube link, now they, like, they hide it. But it was getting... I was getting hit up by everyone I knew being like, I've seen this.

because the news had barely covered it. It was starting to get, but there was also no, there were no videos on it. There were no, any other comedian that was trying to do a topical take hadn't done it. So mine, when you searched her name. It came up with you. It was the real video and my video

and maybe another video. That's nice. And then I start, then they put out a report that says she had a seizure, she had a stroke. Right. And now the comments are, you piece of shit. I'd never experienced that. And I panicked, and I took it down.

And you know what? And Skylar Stone goes, you fucking idiot. He goes, don't ever cower, blah, blah, blah, you shouldn't. I go, I just, until they say it's whatever, and then I put it back up, and I put a disclaimer on the front being like, they said she was fine, here's the video. I think now it's got 40,000. And let me say something.

It was the first time you got hit with criticism, like that that hurt on the internet. What's the lesson? People of the world have something to say. People of the world. People of the world. We'll be right back. To hear

What a way We pour whiskey Whiskey Whisisk Whisk Whisk You were that creature In the ginger beard

Sturdy And ginger Like vampires The ginger gene is a curse Ginges are pugiful You want me $5 for the whiskey And $75 for the horse

Ginger's all hell no This whiskey is Excellent Ginger Ginger I like ginsers Thank you.