Whiskey Ginger with Andrew Santino - Andrew Santino 2.0

Episode Date: April 26, 2019

Santino sits down with himself to talk about chipping toenails while riding birds through ASU, performing for 13 thousands humans in San Diego with Joe Rogan and the Whiskey Ginger intro music hot 16 bars competition Link for whiskey ginger instrumental iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/whiskey-ginger-w-andrew-santino-soundtrack-single/1458723812 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/2pNBy6hnndm5oSuLQPM4lo?si=3j2eFv6-QTah9_AOKu-F9Q Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In here, we pour whisk, whisk, whisk, whisk, whisk. You're that creature in the ginger beard. Sturdy and ginger. Like vampires, the ginger gene is a curse. Gingers are pugilist. You owe me $5 for the whiskey and $75 for the horse. Gingers, oh hell no. This whiskey is excellent.

Ginger. I like gingers. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to Whiskey Ginger. My like gingers. this is what it's going to be for an hour. I did the first solo podcast when I was in Boise and some people liked it. Some people were like, this is not my thing. But I'm going to do it anyway because I want to do some solo podcasts once in a while to clear my head and talk about what's going on in my world. Today I'm drinking Eagle Rare 10-year, oddly enough, in an Eagle Rare 10-year bottle, shave bottle. There's a guy on Instagram who does this, recycled bottles. I'll put the link in the description below, but this is amazing. He sent me these shaved bottles, shaves them down, recycles them. He's going green. He's going green and my liver is going black. So thank you so much for that. I really appreciate it. And it is delicious.

So much going on. I want to talk about a million things. First of all, I'm moving. The studio is going to be different. We're moving out of the space, which is kind of cool, kind of daunting, but I'm going to be moving it to my house. I don't know how I feel about that. It means people are going to be coming over to my house and judging my house. And that's the whole thing is like judging your stuff, you know, cause I don't have, I don't have like trinkets. I don't

have a lot of stuff, but you know, when people have like a house full of shit and you look around and you're like, God, why do they have all this shit in their living room on their coffee table? A coffee table is a good indication of someone's level of mania. You're like, what kind of magazines they have or like weed crumbles or empty cans of beer or food. Like what specifically they have on their coffee table means a lot about a person. I'm a need freak. I'm a weirdo. I like nothing on the coffee table. Nothing except for one LaCroix, one singular LaCroix, and I don't drink it, I just leave it there, it's to show people, and when they come in, I got it going on, I got fucking LaCroix here, or candles, because I am full white person, I actually got a little bit of sun today,

when I say sun, I mean, I got a little bit of redness, I got burnt, because, because I'm a Ranga, that's what happens to us when we're in the sun too long, I get, I get burn it, but it's been nuts, because I'm moving in a new That's what happens to us when we're in the sun too long. I get, I get burn it. But, it's been nuts because I'm moving into a new place and it's daunting and overwhelming

and annoying and there's so much stuff that you have to do. Like, so many things you have to take care of. You have to fucking paint. And I went to Home Depot.

Of course, you pull in the parking lot. Every Mexican dude is like, there's a white guy in a truck. The bed of the truck is empty.

It's clean. That must mean he doesn't know bullshit about what he's about to do. And they're right. I don't know anything about doing anything. I think I did drywall one time in college because we put our feet through the wall. We were trying to run up the wall,

blacked out drunk. And my landlord was like, if you don't fix that, I'm going to fine you $1,000. $1,000 to me in college, that's someone saying today, that's someone saying, I'm going to fine you a million dollars in perpetuity every day if you can't pay for the rest of your life. That's what it feels like, $1,000 in college. You're like, that's impossible. That money doesn't even exist. Who has $1,000? dollars so had to go to home depot and get all that shit it's just

overwhelming and it's so expensive how how how shopping for materials to fix stuff it's a racket by the way houses are a racket fucking so many knickknacky weird different things that you have to buy just to do one thing i realize that i should have got into manufacturing knickknacky bullshit for your home. I mean, like the guy who makes the little tiny like inlets for the doorknob locks, like that thing. That's a company. Schlage. Schlage owns most of it. But you know what? Fucking Tim Schlage is killing it right now. He's in Tahiti somewhere getting his D slobbed, is killing it right now. He's in Tahiti somewhere getting his D slobbed, chilling on a yacht, one of his 50 yachts while I'm at Home Depot paying 15 cents for just the one that fits on the right thing because I bought the wrong one the first fucking time. Also at Home Depot,

they have these checkout, they have your scan yourself, check yourself out, which at first feels cool because you're like, you feel dope. You're like, look at me. I'm fucking, I'm beeping. I beep. I can beep with a gun. And then of course, you know, you fuck it dope. You're like, look at me. I'm fucking, I'm beeping. I beep. I can beep with a gun. And then of course, you know, you fuck it up. You have to call someone over. Inevitably, someone has to come over. I don't think I've ever visited a self-checkout one time without somebody coming over in the history of my life. Whether it's the grocery store, Home Depot, CVS, no matter where you go with a self-checkout, it's not self. It's partial self-checkout. It's se-checkout. It's see-checkout. See somebody else because you can't do it yourself.

So I had to beep all that shit. I paid a ton of money for a bunch of nonsense, lugged it around. It's just so annoying. The dumbest thing we did was we went on Megan's Law to find out if there was any perverts in the neighborhood. There are. There are perverts in the neighborhood. in the neighborhood? There are. There are perverts in the neighborhood. Like, that's the most creepy thing to find out that you're like, oh, cool. People that touch kids are right around the corner from me. I didn't know how to feel about it. It was so weird, you know? Like, do you just go kill them? I guess, like, I guess you can't, but you can't just kill people anymore. That's, you know, that was like the 20s. I got beef for the last time I said the Titanic was in the 40s with Bobby Lee. I get it. I know it wasn't. I wasn't really thinking at the time.

By the way, none of this stuff means anything. I don't know what I'm talking about 99% of the time. You tune in because you like to hear me ramble about nonsense. I'm cool with that. Let's be on the same page. I'm no fucking genius. I went to Arizona State University. Journalism major. I went to Arizona State University. Journalism major. I mean, what are you looking for out of me? Anyway, Megan's Law will show you how many creeps are in your neighborhood. It's so gross.

It's so gross to find out how many people do things with kids. And they get back out, by the way. That's what's so weird. Black guy goes to jail for weed for like nine years. Guy fondles a 14-year-old boy and it's like like three years and you're good. I think that's so strange. I think I talked about this on the first solo podcast too, which is even more weird, but it is disgusting. Like now that it's like settling in on me, it's like, ugh. You just think about your neighbors. Are they creeps? What are they into? I met my neighbor for the first time today. Very nice. But also you're like, what does she do?

What does she do behind closed doors? Is she a weirdo? You never know what family's living next door. Like I wonder if like next door to someone, next door to someone has got to be the family from the Ozarks. Like that exists. You don't think about that shit,

but that exists somewhere. God, I wish it was next door to me. There is a dude who has two boats around the corner from me parked in his driveway. Two boats? Come on. What is that for? One of them's for fun. Yeah, one of them's for party. The other one is for transportation of something. Bodies, drugs, kids, something. Come to think of it, he was the neighborhood pervert. I had something. Come to think of it, he was the neighborhood pervert.

I just cracked it. He's shipping kids. Yuck. Anyway, it's a nice neighborhood, aside from all that creepy shit. But it's been a fun, insane couple of weeks. On 420, I got to play for 13,000 people, which was, I don't even know how, there is no words. I can't articulate that. I'm too dumb to find the right word. 13,000 human beings. My God, was it overwhelming. It was incredible. It was me opening up for Joe Rogan, Tony Hinchcliffe and I each did 20 minutes to open up for Joe in the Viejas Arena where San Diego State SDSU plays. 13,000 human beings. Man, it was wild. It was a crazy thing to see. As we were pulling in, it was crazy to watch how many people were like funneling into the arena.

And it was the first time I've ever done an arena, obviously. It was in the round, which means, you know, like you're in the dead center and I had to do 360 to like pay attention to try to get every side. It was crazy.

And you feel overwhelmed the moment you step on stage because you're like, this is so big. Are they all listening? And they were. It was nuts. The amount of, this is so big. Are they all listening? They were. It was nuts. The amount of the attentiveness was high. Also, everyone there was high.

It was 420. I mean, everyone was baked out of their fucking head. I'm sure the pot helped settle people down. No chatting. They're too high. When you're too high, you're not talking to anybody. You're focused. You're focused on what's going on really intently and checking your heartbeat every 15 minutes.

It's like, I'm still, I'm here. Okay. Okay yeah no i'm here my heart she's still lub dubbing but it was amazing man tony went out and murdered i had a really fun set joe destroyed his new hour so good i'm not i'm not kissing ass it's just it's really good man it's really refined you can tell he's been like fine-tuning it so much it's getting right to the place that I think he wants it to be. So it's cool to watch that develop. And same thing, you know, me and Tony have been trading off and watching each other, like build our hour individually. So that's been cool. And I'm going to do a couple of arenas with Joe, uh, in, in, uh, coming up this summer. I have a bunch more dates on my own that I'm just trying to start putting on the calendar. I go to, I know we do this at the end, but it's in the conversation right now.

So I feel like I should plug it out right now. But I head to Vegas. Jimmy Kimmel's got a brand new club, which is incredible. He's from Las Vegas. I think it's so cool he opened up a club there. But I'm playing Las Vegas, which I don't play that often. It's hard to get me out there. I was there last year.

And that was the first time I played in forever. And I was like, I don't know if I'm going to come back for a while, but I had a really good time, but I'm going to play Kimmel's club, Jimmy Kimmel's club opening up. Um, I'm in the third week. I'm the second or third performer to ever perform there. The club is literally just opening. I'm there May 9th through the 12th, uh, nine through the 12th, May 9th through the 12th. 9th through the 12th, May 9th through the 12th. And then I go May 30th, I believe. I go down to Raleigh, North Carolina. North Carolina. Come on, dude. Come on down, man. I go to Raleigh, play Good Nights, May 30th. And then in June, I'm at the Comedy Store in La Jolla at the end of June. So you've got to come out and see me. San Diego, come out,

see me. You saw me do a little snippet, San Diego with Joe, but now you can see me do the full hour. I'm excited to go to Raleigh, uh, at the end of May, to be honest with you. My dad's from North Carolina. I got family out there. My dad's a country bumpkin. He calls himself a Hill William. Was I such a, what a dad joke, a Hill William, not a Hill Billy, a Hill William. He's a sophisticated mountain boy. He's from a little mountain town, which is incredible. I think the Dairy Queen was like the shit to his little mountain town, which is so funny to me. When we go back to those places and you see where your parents were kids and you're like, this is whack. But I know that's what it's going to be like for our kids. Our kids are going to see the places that we thought were cool and be like, this is garbage. You liked hanging out here?

You're like, yeah, I mean, it was cool then, you know? Speaking of places that are cool to hang out, rest in peace, Amoeba Music. Not if anybody knows, but Los Angelinos know. Amoeba Music is this incredible record store. Records, CDs, DVDs, everything. It's probably the biggest record house I've ever seen in my life it's gotta be

10,000 square feet plus of endless amounts of amazing music memorabilia and it's shutting down it's right here it's iconic it's famous in Hollywood but they're shutting it down because I think they're putting an apartment complex above it or something I really don't know all the details I just know it was like really sad to read that they're going away I don't know if it's

permanent or what but you know I don't know if it's permanent or what, but you know, I don't know. Nothing ever lasts. What's the different? Different. What's the different? What is the different? The difference is speak English properly and you're all good. Speaking of nothing ever lasts, this is something I really wanted to touch upon. I went back to Arizona, played some shows, and then I toured around Arizona State's campus. And it was so creepy to be back there, because everything had changed, literally everything was different, and it was wild to me, man, it was overwhelming, it was overwhelming and sad, because I have this creepy nostalgic thing, I've talked about it in my past, like, I have such insane nostalgia, it makes me feel like I'm drowning in, in, in this anxious thing.

I don't know what it is, but like when I go back to Chicago, I go back to the building that I grew up at and I walked past it and it like gives me, it makes me like sad, but like weary and tired and mad. I have this, all this rush of emotions. I can't explain it. I just tried to. Um, but Arizona had that feeling to me, you know? Me and the lady toured around ASU on bird scooters. That's the second time I've done bird scooters. First time I did it was with my boy Ari. Ari Maness out in San Antone.

We went on San Antonio. I think we went like nine miles on those things. They shut down. They stopped. They ran out of battery. We had to walk the rest of the way. But that was my second time on a bird, and it was bad, she chipped her toenail, she was livid about that, because she didn't want to get out in the first place, she was tripping, and she didn't want to ride it, so she was like, got on mine, we double birded, dude, I don't know if that's legal, but like, fucking, I don't give a fuck, dude. I double bird around town, dude.

Hop on, doggy. So we rolled around, went through ASU's campus, some bits of my old house, the old stomping grounds. It's just not, it doesn't really matter. It's just not the same. It feels so empty for some reason, you know? It feels weird to go back to places. Revisiting places feels strange, you know?

You're like, oh, I remember this was fun. And you look at it now, you're like, this is gross. It's almost like when you throw away a mattress, if you ever thrown away a mattress, like, that mattress might have been your favorite, you're like, oh, I slept the best on that thing, you see it out of its element, when you see it, like, out on a sidewalk, you're like, you're gross, you're gross, yuck, yuck, there's something about it when it's out of its element that it's just not that cool anymore, you know? But it's been fun traveling around and seeing places that I haven't been to in a long time and getting nostalgic about certain places. I went back to Atlanta. We did some shows out

there and Atlanta's a great city. Worst service in the world, by the way. Atlanta has terrible service. I know the South is slow, but like, come on. I think we got in at 1140 to the hotel. The restaurant was supposed to be open until midnight. Wasn't. They bailed. The cook was like, fuck that.

Went home. The cook was Theo Vaughn. Hey, man, I'm out of here, man. I gotta go. I gotta go braid some hair, you know? Whatever the fuck he does. And we ordered to the room. We were like, we'll just order some room service and kick it.

Have a drink, chill. 1.30. We call. 1.30. Now, we call. Hey, man, I think we just got two turkey paninis. They tell us, oh, we only had one. What? Yeah, we only had one. What?

Yeah, we only had one. Okay. Why didn't you call us and ask if we still wanted the one? Oh, you want it? Yeah. Yeah, we're hungry as fuck. So, yeah. Okay.

And chicken fingers, please. Okay. Do you have those? Let me check. Oh, okay. And chicken fingers, please. Okay. Do you have those? Um, let me check. Oh boy. 25 minutes later, we get that stuff. And being nice to the dude, not his fault because he's just the runner, but what's going on in that kitchen? How the fuck could that have happened? It's just lazy and slow. The South is like that, man, crazy slow, it's like, when we get to it, we'll get to it, type of shit, everything is like, when we get there, we'll get there, and LA is the opposite, LA is like a panic attack, because you have to get there,

because you're going to be fucking late every time, you're like, I left 40 minutes ago, it's six miles, and it just, it causes so much anxiety and anger to be late to stuff for me. I hate it so much. I hate being late. And it's LA's fault. This is the one city where you can go, nah, it's LA, it's the city's fault. It's a fucking nightmare. Whether it's traffic or whether it's road construction or an accident, or just a guy, just a guy with his dick out crossing the streets slowly. I've seen that three times since I've lived in this town, two of which were in Hollywood, to be fair, but I've seen a man with his penis out crossing the street, but he wasn't like waving it at people in the car. It's not like he was like, hey, look at my penis. He wasn't Louis C. King. He was literally just

had the first guy I remember seeing him when I was going, I used to work at this company doing this, hosting this MSN show. He was just crossing Hollywood and Wilcox, just dick out. Not even smiling though. It's not like he was happy about it, which was also kind of sad. When your cock is out and you're not smiling,

that's sad. You might not even know it's out. He might just be so bummed with life. Imagine that someone's like, hey, you're ordering a coffee. I got a iced latte, please. Excuse me, sir. Yeah, what's up?

I think your dick is out. What? I think your dick is out. Oh, it's been a bad day. Two pumps of vanilla in that latte? Yeah, please. Two. Two pumps.

Two pumps of vanilla. How many pumps? Starbucks. How many pumps? You want a pump? You want a half pump? Quarter pump? How many pumps? What a weird... Pump me, baby. How many pumps you want? How many pumps of vanilla you want? I don't know, man. Just give it a squirt squirt. Give it a little squeegee. They should call it something else. How many squeegees you want? How many skirts do you want? How many skirts do you want in the perp? That would be a mumble rap Starbucks. How about these skirts you wanted to perp? What about the Starbucks? How about the dirt? Anyway, this is how I lose my train of thought. I go on these insane diatribes. Oh, but I was traveling around in Atlanta, was so slow, such bad service, but a fun town, a fun place to party. I smoked hookah for the

first time in like 10 years. Why do people like that? Why do people like hookah? I can't wrap my head around it. It's not good. Every time I do it, I go, I don't like this. Why am I doing this? I don't like this at all. And sure enough, I'll do it. It's how people do cocaine. And they're like, I don't want to do any cocaine. Friday night, someone's like, do you want to do cocaine? They're like, yes, I do want to go. I'll do, I'll do things. I like to try it out. Even if it's trying it again, I was like, well, maybe I, you know, maybe my, maybe the gones and the nodes were mixed up back then. Maybe I'll like it now. Didn't like it. Hookah's a strange thing.

It's not fun. Not enjoyable. You know? I don't like to smoke. A pot, maybe, but like, you know, that gets you stoned. Hookah doesn't make any sense. What am I smoking on this stuff for? Because I want to suck on grape?

Why do I want to suck grape vapor? What a weird thing to want to suck on. Seems like here in LA, it's like, it's like Armenians. And then there's always like a couple of black dudes in there. There's always like a group of Armenian dudes just sitting around like, yeah, you know, talking about, you know, life and all that. Oh, I realized I have a rip in these pants, don't I? Yeah, that'll, that'll, yeah, that's good. Call attention to it. Now everyone will stare at it. yeah that'll that'll yeah that's good call attention to it now everyone will stare at it um i don't think my nuts are hanging out though no there's always armenians and like two black dudes that's what every time i walk past one of those vape places or the hookah places it's always

two a group of armenian guys always armenian guys there's never any girls there is a sausage fest those hookah lounges are sausage you know why guys girls don't want to sit around and smoke vapor grape grape vape they want to have fun and dance you know they don't want to fuck dudes that sit around and puff clouds dog 15 fucking armenian dudes and two black dudes just chill i don't know why i think that maybe they're just they feel comfortable around the other the other brown guys maybe it's like it's a bunch of brown guys in there I'll go in there I'm brown and then they go in there like we're way cooler than these fucking guys but they have to finish the they have to finish the hookah disc what's the hookah disc called I

want to find out the hookah community is going to be so mad at me. And I realize that now, and I'm not apologetic about anything. I don't really care at all about the hookah comm. Hookah community probably exists. The same guys that are, you know, this may be racist. Don't care. White guys with dreadlocks, I'm not, we're not, not okay. What are you doing? You know, all these liberals get mad at appropriation of culture, but no one seems to get mad at white dudes with dreadlocks.

That's not appropriation of culture. It's also annoying because you're never cool. You never look cool. I promise. I promise you don't look cool. I promise. I promise. Well, you don't look cool with your fucking stupid orange hair. I can't, this is, I'm born this way. I don't want this. You think I like this? I was, this is it. I have to have this. You did that. You did dreads. You did it. I never feel bad making fun of someone if they did it. If you can't help it, I'm not going to make fun of you. What are you going to do? You try your best. You got a big mole on your face. What are you going to do? You know? But if you did it, you did it. I'm going to make fun of you. People that do piercings on their cheeks and shit. You know, there's like they dimple out their face. People that have too many piercings on their face in general, face tattoos.

Stop calling attention away from you. What are you doing? And don't get angry when I look at you. What are you looking at? By the shit on your head? You tattooed free on your cheek. You didn't think I wanted to see that? You didn't think I was interested in looking at the thing on your fucking face? So weird. You don't look like all of us. I'm interested. Any creature would do that. I went to Japan and I was a god because they've never seen such orange. It doesn't come along that often. Was I mad at them? No. They're sweet little cute people. I gave them all a ride on my back. They wanted to jump on my back. They called me the orange dinosaur in Japanese. That's what they would say. They would call me the orange dinosaur and I would take them all for a little

ride. It was like a big orange T-Rex to them. Now I kind of want to know what orange dinosaur translates to in Japanese. We're going to find out. Let's see what orange dinosaur, because they wanted to ride on me. on me. Dinosaur? Orange dinosaur. Here, this is how you say it. Ready? This is what I am in Japanese, an orange dinosaur. Ooh, that sounds fun. Everything sounds sing-songy there. Someone can make a sick, sick-ass song out of that. That reminds me. Speaking of sick songs,

the intro song for this podcast people kind of like. It's available now. The instrumental is available now on Spotify, all over the place. I'll post about it. My boy, Rokom, that did it, that made it for us, that made that amazing intro that I'm so proud of. It's so incredible that in here we pour whiskey. He's so dope. But Rokom made the full version for people that want to rap over. If you want to, I think there's like your best 16, like do your best 16 bars, rap over it. It's on Spotify, I think, but I'll link it. But I want to see people that are like legit rappers that want to flow over that beat, dog.

And then I'll play it with one of my guests that's going to come up in a couple of weeks. That's a massive hip hop head. I have a guest coming up in three weeks, two weeks. That's supreme hip-hop head. And I want to play them for him. So if you want to grab that snippet of the instrumental of Spotify or wherever it is, I'll make sure I link it in the description. But if you want to grab that and lay down your hottest 16, we'll preview it. We'll play some of them live on the Whiskey Ginger if you want to grab that and lay down your hottest 16, we'll preview it. We'll play some of them live on the Whiskey Ginger if you want to do that. I think that would be very cool. So what you should do is download it, rip your 16, and send it to imasantinofan at gmail.com. I am a SantinoFan at gmail.com. I am a SantinoFan at gmail.com. I'll link that again below. I'm a SantinoFan at gmail.com. And we'll play some of them tracks. We'll play some of those tracks, okay? Because I love hip hop. I'm a hip hop head. I've fallen off a little bit. A lot of my love for

hip hop has gone by the wayside. I've been listening to a lot of old school shit, because a lot of the new stuff is so trash, it's just so trash, so it's hard for me to listen to any of the new stuff, but I listen to, like, you know, I just like, I like old school shit, you know, it's, you know, I just, it does, it's the nostalgic thing again, it brings me back to my youth, but it also, the rhythms were so sexy and clean, now it's just like, so like, drum and bass heavy, and electro heavy, and shit, I like samples, I miss samples, you know, I love that shit, so go, go peep the Whiskey Ginger Instrumental, and then spit your best 16, dog, and we'll see what we can do with it, because I think that'd be a great opportunity to see what the fans want to do with that song, because people tend to like that song, I was hiking the other day, I saw a woman, I don't know why I have to share this,

oh, this woman was wearing no shoes, she had no shoes on, and it's rocks, rocks everywhere, a little bit of sand, but mostly rocks. And I said, you got to be careful up there. It gets really, really rocky. I was like, it's really bad. I was just trying to be polite. I was just trying to say like, hey, you know, I wasn't trying to mansplain rock climbing and hiking.

I was just letting her know if she's never done the path before, it gets bad. Your feet might get cut up and bloody. This fucking bitch. She goes, um, I do this every day. I think I can handle it. Okay, bitch. Okay, bitch.

I was being polite. Like, she gave me a look like, fuck you. Like, yuck. Okay. Okay. Okay. I'm sorry. My bad for trying to be nice. And it wasn't like she mistook it for like me hitting on her or something. It wasn't like, ew, get away from me. No, it was just like, fuck you to me. I don't need you to tell me what to, what to do, how to hike. Oh, I, I, okay. Okay. Don't be bragging that you hike every day, by the way.

Big fucking deal. White people love hiking. It's walking up. You're walking up. Who went hiking? You walked up for a while? Great. You know who does that? People that live in foreign countries that don't have cars that have to hike to get food or water or shelter every day. You did it, whites. You did it. Good for you, huh? You're number one. White people. I ran into a white boy today.

Brent Morin. You know this guy? He was on Whiskey Ginger early on. Ran into Brent in the street, and I just texted him earlier that day, which is even crazier, earlier today, which is crazy. And I ran into the dude. It's funny to run him earlier that day, which is even crazy earlier today, which is crazy. And I ran into the dude.

It's funny to run into people that you haven't seen in a long time. It's nice to see someone that you're like so excited to see. It was nice to get like happy about seeing a stranger, a friend that I haven't seen in a while. I mean, it's nice, you know, to have it happen out of the blue. It's not nice when you run into someone that you forget who they are. I've done that about five times just this past week. No shit. I saw someone, I know who it is, but I have no idea who it is. Do you know what I'm talking about?

When you see someone and you're like, hey, they're like, hey, you're like, hey, fuck. And your mind is like, what? We can't, we don't, we don't remember. We don't remember. You got to clear out some of this fucking weed resin and a bunch of this alcohol for us to remember. We don't know. Your brain is a little fluked right now. I couldn't do it. It happened a bunch. Kept happening.

I kept running into people. Santino, what's up? Shit. Who are you to me? Who are you to me? There's no nice way to ask that. So you can't say anything. You just fucking play it off.

And you go home for four hours. And then finally, in the middle of the night, you're like on Instagram, and you're like, Julie. That was fucking Julie. That was Dan's ex-girlfriend,

Julie. Fuck. That's who that was. Wait, was that Julie? And then it starts all over again. It's like just a tumbling down of your brain, you know? I feel like my brain is on a new wave right now because I haven't, I haven't been indulging in a lot of TV or movies or anything. I've been just like working on a bunch of different

stuff. So I feel like a little disconnected, especially because Game of Thrones is happening. People love that shit. I've never watched an episode. Proud of it. Shab was trying to get at me the other day about it. You don't watch Gable? No, Shab, I don't. Fuck dragons. Fuck incest dragons. Incest and dragons. That's what that show is to me. I don't need to watch it. Also, stop telling me I need to watch it. I don't want to watch it. It's not for me. I don't want to watch it. I don't want to watch it. It's not for me. me. I don't want to watch it. I don't want to watch it. It's not for me. Is that okay? I like to golf. You want to golf? No, I don't like golfing. No, but you should golf. I don't, it's not, it's not my thing. No, but you should. We all do it. Me and all the people that I like do it. Okay. Well, I don't like to, well, you should go golfing. It's really cool and good.

See how annoying that is. Stop fucking asking me to do things that I don't want to do. If I said I don't want to do it one time, I'm probably not going to do it. At this point in my age, life, at this mid, my mid thirties, you think you're going to sucker me into doing something now that I, that I know I don't want to do anymore. I feel like I didn't want to, I knew I didn't want to do a lot of things at a far younger age than now. And now I'm more comfortable to be like, no, younger age than now. And now I'm more comfortable to be like, no, no, no way. I don't want to do it. I don't want to do it. But I am trying a bunch of new different shows, but they're shows that I'm interested in. You know, there's shows that I like, you know, Gervais' show, Life After, phenomenal. It's phenomenal. You know, there's moments where Ricky Gervais is too Ricky Gervais, but that's kind of why I like him. Because he's kind of too fucked too much Ricky Gervais, which you're like, man,

I like him, you know, but the show is great. It's, it's a, it's a wonderful, it's a wonderful idea. It's a great, it's a great story, you know, but so I tried a few new shows. I tried that. I, and I liked that. I got through it. I tried some other bullshit on the plane. that I got through it. I tried some other bullshit on the plane. What did I try? I tried to see Russian Doll with Natasha Lyonne. It was okay.

That's hard for me to see another redhead getting work, even though it's a female. You know, she's taking away male jobs, what she's doing. Redheaded women taking away redheaded male jobs. Because most of them are pretty.

They don't have to worry about it. We struggle. I got three good years left until I gotta fucking move. I don't know what I got to do. Leave town. I think at 40, at 40, Ginger's got to leave. And then at 50, they're allowed back. Ginger's got to leave. And then at 50, they're allowed back. I think that's what happens.

At 50, you can come back into town. That's when it pops. Right around then. I'm swallowing so hard I can hear it in the microphone, and I don't even have headphones on. But that sip caught me. I almost coughed, but it caught me weird. You know when it catches you weird in the throat, and you're like... Now I'm salivating. Can you hear that? Oh, this is a bad part of the

podcast that I should cut out, but you know what? Leaving it. I'm imperfect too. Please. So far from it. In fact, you know, turns out I'm human. You know, turns out I'm human. Had a couple of bad nights on stage last week. Turns out I'm human. It's weird to go through those moments. Really does check you down. God, it makes you like, it makes you really get vulnerable. The stage is the best place to learn how vulnerable you truly can be. And if you can handle your own bullshit. Because yikes, did I have a tough time. Yikes, did I have a tough time.

And I'm on my phone to, because I wrote down some shit about it. I wrote down the way I felt on the walk home. I said, the band Rat-A-Tat. I said, God, I haven't heard them in a long time. That song 17 Years and Wildcat are so good. And I was like, fuck, it made me feel good on the walk home because I was just bummed. I said, think about the way that they felt about you. Think about the way that they felt about you. And I did. Were they as upset at the set as I was? No, they were having a good time. They were liking it. I didn't bomb. I was just not in my groove

at all. Could they tell? Yeah, probably. I don't know. I wonder if audiences can tell. Sometimes I think they can. Sometimes I think they're just like, oh, fucking, you know, whatever, just doing some new shit or doing shit that he's not developed or not in love with. I don't know. It's a weird thing to have to like go through to feel, to feel vulnerable because you're, when you're a professional, you're so used to like doing shows and just, you know, working on new shit. And it kind of just chugs along a little bit. It's kind of like a train. Like once the momentum is going and you've got this chunk of material that's going well, it's like chugging along, chugging along, chugging along. But sometimes just like those carts, the train

cars are connected by those metal hooks, you know, and sometimes you can look down, you can see them just like pulling against each other. And sometimes that like, that pull is what we go through. And you experience that like herky jerkiness and it's not that smooth. And that's, that's tough. Those are those moments when you're really developing shit and you're really like in deep learning how to craft that joke. It's hard. It's so hard to like get out of the muck. I revived a couple of jokes that I haven't told in a long time and that felt really good. I like re-centered myself. I was like, fuck, that was a good joke. I don't know why I gave up on it, you know? And that feels really good to do. I don't think there's any better feeling than like re-learning how to tell a joke that you didn't really like,

or you didn't finish, or you didn't develop all the way. That's usually what it is. You just didn't develop it all the way. You just gave up on that shit. You know? I think nine times out of 10, you just bailed because you weren't, you just were like, I don't know what it is. I can't find it. And then you find it. At some point you're like, oh shit. That's why, that's why a hanging booger is funny. I don't have a hanging booger bit, but I did see a guy the other day with a booger hanging out of his nose And I thought that was so funny It was so funny

To catch like a grown man He was wearing like a nice collared shirt too And it's so funny to watch like a guy in a collared shirt Have a booger out of his nose Because you're like I cannot wait to see him go into that meeting You know I want to follow him into that meeting I'm like Mike good to see you He's like hey great to be here

And someone's like oh shit What? He's right. He's like, Hey, great to be here. And someone's like, Oh shit. What? He's right here. He's like, do I have something in my nose? And then he, then he gets it and he sees it on his finger. Oh shit. I had a, but how long did I have this booger out? I feel like people in New York wouldn't tell you if you have a, if you have a booger out, I feel like someone in LA would, cause we're, we're so shallow. We're so image conscious, someone in LA would be like, excuse me, you have a, someone in, no one in New York, you could go to like three meetings, two restaurants, go on a date, have sex, and then after you fuck, she's like, I gotta tell you, you've had a booger out the whole time, what, the whole day, Yeah. I went to work. I had dinner with my boss. Then we went out.

We had sex. I had a booger the whole time. Yeah, I had a booger the whole time. Wow. That's New York. Me and Eric Andre love to say that to each other all the time whenever we're together. This is my New York. I did like a Instagram story series about that. My New York. New York loves bragging about New York stuff. LA doesn't do that. LA doesn't brag about stupid LA things because they're lame. But the New York things are lame too. New Yorkians just love to brag about it. They love that shit. You know, said in some bum's piss on the subway, oh, this is New York. I don't know why that voice. It just makes me feel like that's the guy that says that. Well, you know, this is New York. This is my New York. I think they had that

campaign. That's where that came from. This is my New York. Ugh. Stop it. New York is nobody's. None of these cities, these cities are fake. They're not, they own, they belong to nobody. I'm from New York. This is my town. Oh, cool. You and nine other million, nine million other fucking foreigners. It's you guys, it's all your town. You're from there. No one's from, these cities are such an amalgamation of people from all over the place. Nobody's from there. Even if you're from there, you're not from there. No one's from there. These are dream, these are fantasy places. Even New York, one of the oldest cities in the world. It's just comprised of people from literally everywhere, constantly coming and going. You know? When someone's like, I'm from Des Moines, you're like, shit,

you're from Des Moines, for sure. And someone's like, this is my Des Moines. I'd be like, I buy it. I buy it because you could own this fucking place. You could be the clampets

that bought this motherfucker when it first sold. Des Moines, Iowa. And it's Des Moines, not Des Moines-ness. The silent S's of the Midwest. I hate when I know, when I hear someone from Illinois where I'm from say Illinois. That's the craziest shit on earth.

How do you not know how to do that? Illinois? No, sir. Chicago, Illinois. What a wild. I can't wait to go back to Chicago this summer, by the way. Going back, doing some shows. I'm doing the UIC Pavilion with Rogan.

In June. In Chicago. Which is going to be incredible, man. I can't wait to go home. Chicago in the summertime, dude. Can't be beat. I know. I know a lot of people are going to be like, have you ever been to this place? You've never been here in the summer, man. You've never been. You've never been to Myrtle Beach in the summer. Yeah, dude, I don't know. Chicago's great.

People are out on boats. They're happy. They lose like four pounds. People in Chicago lose four pounds just to get in the summer weight, you know? They're all still out of shape, but that four pounds, they're like fucking looking good, dude.

And then they get fat as fuck come October. October is like the beginning of the end. October is like, forget about it. I'm going to be fat for the next seven months. That's literally what happens. And then seven or eight months later, they start to get like the little inklings that it's going to get nice again. And they're like, I should have Portillo's once today instead of twice.

That's my favorite restaurant, Portillo's. By the way, they got one here. That was my security question, or so I thought. I had to cancel DirecTV. What's your security answer for your favorite restaurant? Portillo's. No, sir. I was like, yes, it is.

You want to fucking argue about it? I almost like fought the guy through the phone. He's like, that's not your favorite restaurant. I was like, yes, it is. The want to fucking argue about it? I almost like fought the guy through the phone. He's like, that's not your favorite restaurant. I was like, yes, it is. The Italian beef combo. Italian beef, Italian sausage combo. Wet cheese fries. Don't try to tell me what I like.

He was like, sir, I'm just saying that's not the answer to your security question. I was like, my bad. I'm sorry. But also don't fucking tell me what I like. But it turns out it wasn't. I guess at the time I'd said Joe's Crab Shack. Come on. Never been. Never been to Red Lobster either. Why would I go? Why would I go to those

fucking places? I can't believe people go. Cheddar Bay Biscuits. Well, okay. I get a good biscuit everywhere. You get a good biscuit a lot of places. Cheddar. Also, I don't want cheddar in the biscuit. Okay, that's nice. I like biscuits and gravy because I'm an American. You fucking communists. That's red lobster. It's red too. Commie red. The red lobster. The commie red lobster. That's what it should call it. Come on into the commie red lobster and get your biscuit with cheese. Give me gravy and meat. your biscuit with cheese. Give me gravy and meat. Americano. Give me gravy and meat. Oh, also, speaking of all things American, I went to UFC in Atlanta. Poirier, holy shit. Poirier, what a fight. Israel, what a fight. So many good fights.

But in the middle of it, if you've ever been to UFC that you know, people go, oh, oh, and they all do that shit. I don't know what it is. It's like the hillbilly howl. I don't know what it is, but they all do that shit. But then at some point they started chanting, because it was an American fighting a Russian, and they all started chanting USA, USA, USA. USA. USA. Why? I don't know. The Russian dude lives here. He's just as much of American as the other guy. He just came late. You know, we're all not really from here. That's what's funny about this place. USA. I guess. I mean, I'm here, but my grandparents were from this fucking place. I'm proud of it. But it's also like, why are we chanting at the guy who lives here now, he's Russian, yeah, he just came later than you did, USA, they were yelling, why, stop, it's so weird, I don't like that, patriotism is creepy, anything-itism, anything where you champion something like overtly, it's like, okay,

something like overtly, it's like, okay, why do you like it so much? What did it do for you? You know? I mean, this place did a lot for a lot of people. Don't get me wrong. I'm just saying, like, how can you be so adamant about it? It's like, okay, I get it. We love it. I know. You know? It's the same way I feel about people shitting on Donald Trump. It's like, I get it. I get it. I get it. I know. We don't like him, we don't like him, we don't like him, how many times are you gonna tell me you don't like him, Twitter, fuck Trump, okay, I know, I know, I know, I don't, I don't like it, it's like, fuck, yeah, I don't like fuck, stop trying to convince me to go back to fuck, no, but I don't, I also need to tell people every day that I hate pho, I'm never like, you know what I hate, in the middle of a conversation, pho,

piece of shit, you know, pho gives everyone cancer, I don't start like throwing out nonsense just to make people mad about how much I dislike pho, and I said pho for the longest time, I should go back to saying pho, I don't like saying things the right way. Just let me say it the way I want to say it. Balenciaga. Gookie. Luis Vidden. I could say it how I want to say it. I could say it how I want to say it. Fuh. Foe. I don't want it either way whatever it is I don't know why I said designer bag names

that women love I don't understand that whole thing I understand nothing about that look at this expensive purse that I got why did you get such an expensive purse everybody has these I should have it okay like guys it's like shoes did you get such an expensive purse? Everybody has these. I should have it. Okay. Like guys,

it's like shoes, but like, I get it. I wear those all the time. They're comfy and they're reasonably priced. Even if they're, even if a shoe is expensive, it's still reasonably priced. Even the most expensive shoe, you're still like, yeah, but you know, I don't know. It could be really comfy. But a purse, they're like, these are like $7,500 purses. It's eight grand for a purse and up? Why? Is it going to go on your arm? It's going to hang off your body? You're a walking coat rack? You're just a walking purse rack around town with a thing that's a lot of money that just keeps stuff inside. It's so weird to me. I don't have a wallet. I don't fuck with wallets really either. I don't like it. I have my stuff. I got it in my pocket. That's why Rogan tries to get everybody on the fanny pack

kick. I can't wear a fanny pack. It's definitely not for me. You can't be a redhead and have a fanny pack. No, I can't. I can't get away from that. Away with that. I can't get away with that. Not even drunk. I'm stumbling over my words. I'm tired. I moved all day. I moved all day. Okay, I'm tired. I'm sorry. I'm saying sorry to nobody. That's how tired I am. I'm saying sorry to all you guys. But what I do want to talk about real fast, honestly, is how much I do appreciate the fans that have been supporting Whiskey Ginger because it's incredible to me. I got a ton of fan response from the first solo that I did about anxiety and depression and all that stuff.

And I'm really proud of a lot of people who kind of shared their stories with me because I know that's a hard thing to talk about. But the fans of the podcast have been fucking incredible. I'm going to keep pumping them out, keep making new guests, new interesting people, you know. Bobby's going to come and do more because we always have so much fucking fun. People are like, why don't you do more? It's like, I want to. I don't have a ton of time. I would love to do more, you know. I wish I had more time to do more. Maybe I will, you know. Maybe I'll have more time to do more. This summer's going to be hard because I'm gonna be touring.

And then I shoot a TV show for FX with Lil Dicky. Go watch Lil Dicky's new music video, Earth. He put out on Earth Day with literally every musical artist of all time. I mean, it was like everybody. It was creepy. But, you know, yeah,

I wish I could do more. But I do appreciate the fans, like wholeheartedly, I really do. I think it's incredible that people want to listen to this. it's wild, people keep up, and I think that's dope, and I'm down to still listen, listen to your suggestions, and I want to hear what you like, and what you don't like, like, I dig that, you know, I don't need haters, I don't need someone to be an asshole just because they want to be an asshole, like, that's kind of

annoying, if you don't like me, just, like, stop watching my shit, I mean, that's kind of easy, right, but I don't need to, like, don't throw stones at me for no reason. It doesn't make sense. I don't know why people do that sometimes, you know, but for the most part, it's overwhelmingly positive and supportive, which is cool, man. And I'm happy that people like it. I just feel like if you're not going to be positive, you're not going to want to support it. Then just don't pay attention to it and fuck it off. Like, I don't know why anybody has the time of day to shit on things. You're like, why do you, what, what, what is that for? To let others know that you don't like it? It's like, all right, you could just not like it and then go on your merry way and like what you

like, you know? And go listen to another podcast. Some of their podcasts that I like, what would I recommend? Not Crips Delano, not Chips Delano, no way. Don't listen to him. People like him. Why? Crips Delano, not Chips Delano. No way. Don't listen to him. People like him. Why? Chips? Chips? And his fake teeth? And borrowed dogs? And fake legs? No thanks. No thanks. No thanks at all. Get out of here, Chips. Chips Delano. You know he drives an H4 Hummer. They don't even make them anymore. They made him for like four days. He bought one. I'm not kidding. 68 gallon tank. That's how much gas he puts in there. He's disgusting. He does such bad things in the environment. He's not environmentally conscious. I can tell you that. Fake legs, fake teeth, not environmentally conscious borrowed dogs. That's Chris. That's chips. That's Chips. That's Chips in a nutshell. That's Chips in a bag, a bag that I don't want to open because it stinks in there.

It stinks. But I do appreciate the fans. I do. Also, Chips is one of my good friends. I think it's so funny that when we shit on each other, people come up to me after the show sometimes, they're like, I'll fucking kill Chips for you, dude. I'm like, I mean, thank you, but don't, he is my buddy. I do love him, but also don't, please don't hurt him. That'd be such a shitty news headline. Chips Delano was killed today. That would be funny if I made the news, people read chips Delano though. That would, that would actually make my day. Not that he was dead. That would be a bummer. But then I would get some of his stuff and some of his fans probably. So that would be cool. But no, I love Chips. Are you kidding me? I love Chips to death. I want him around forever. Chips forever, dog. Chips forever. Byron Kalik, on the other hand,

no thanks. And no thanks. But go listen to Byron's new special. His special is out right now. Please go watch that. Pay for it. I'm trying to do a new special and who knows what I'm going to do. But I think people want, people want them on different platforms now because they're, because they're just so accessible now on other places and not just, not just Netflix or not just HBO. I think there's more places. Those places are great too, but I just think people are looking for more stuff too. So I'm going to figure out where I want to go and what I want to do. But in the meantime, I appreciate the fans listening and coming out to shows on the road.

It's been incredible. It's been incredible to have so many fans show love and come out and do their thing-thing with me. And these solo podcasts are really just an experiment to see if like, you like it and I like it, you know, do we like this, is this something that we enjoy together, I don't like when someone talks to me condescending like that, do you like it, you know, go to a nice restaurant and they check in on you, but they're really just being rude, because they think their food is so good it couldn't possibly taste bad. You know, you're eating and they come back and they go, how is it? As if to say like, I know how it is. Just once, I wish I could be like, this is the worst meal I've ever had, but be genuine about it and just rip its shreds.

Too much turmeric, you know, go down that line. That's the name of this podcast now, by the way. It's called Too Much Turmeric. I would have renamed this thing Too Much Turmeric. No, it's going to be Whiskey Ginger Forever. And I also think, what if at some point I get sober? What am I going to do if I'm like, I don't want to drink anymore? Well, big mistake, pal, because you named your fucking podcast Whiskey Ginger. So you got to keep pumping it away, but I'm gonna, I like having some booze, I like sipping on the old golden liquor, dark liquor to me is my favorite, I don't know why, it's in my blood, baby, I never really, I never liked light, I never liked gin, holy shit. Gin tastes like it belongs in fabric softener. It just doesn't taste real. And vodka doesn't even exist. That's why alcoholics love vodka. You can drink that

shit all day. No one will smell it on you or know it's there. And tequila? I don't know, dude. I don't know. I got a lot of friends that like tequila. My friend Chelsea loves tequila. I don't get it. I'm always like, I don't know. We could do other stuff. It's just, I don't get it. I don't, I don't, I know high-end tequila is good shit, but everything high-end is good shit. You know what I mean by that? Like at some point, I'm like, no, but if it's really good, if it's a really good stuff, then it's good. It's like, right. But I trust something that if the bad stuff is good, then it's, then it's still good. If the shittiest version of it is still kind of good, then it's probably good all the time. But if like the shittiest version of it is garbage and like repulsive, of course the good stuff will be good. If that's the category, we can't hold

ourselves to that. You know, the good one's really good, though. The bad one's terrible. Well, the bad one should be fine. It's like well. Like a well drink should be just fine. Not tequila, though. Not to me. You want to talk about anger issues.

I get on tequila. I start fighting the wall. Just yelling. I get so tense. My muscles cramp up. That stuff's so dangerous. I don't like it. I hope I get a tequila sponsor soon. Obviously, that'll never happen. We've been fishing out for whiskey

sponsors, and nobody's biting the bait. I think it's hard because they don't know what they're going to align with. It's just a redheaded guy drinking Eagle Rare with a buddy usually, but I'm alone this time. I'm looking over this way, but I'm alone this time. But I'm glad we did this alone. But did we? We did it together. Creepy Garth Brooks look. That's my favorite thing I've ever seen. Tom Segura versus Garth Brooks. Creepy Garth Brooks.

Let's have fun together. Jesus. Serial killer face. But, I want to go back and say thank you to the fans again I really appreciate it

I want people to come out and say what's up to me at shows come see me at shows come say hi after the show let me know that you're a Whiskey Ginger fan a listener

keep this family structure tight you know I love when people say I listen to you at my job all day dude my job is long and boring and I love listening to it or you know I like it when I run

or I like it when I fuck you You know what I mean? I like when people tell me that. I had a girl tell me that. She's like, I fuck my boyfriend and we listen to your podcast in the background to laugh and fuck at the same time. That's crazy dope. San video. San video. Have you guys fucking listened to my podcast? That's awesome. Someone sent a video, I think of their kid watching it on YouTube. And I was like, that gets way too fucking young. It's like a seven-year-old watching me. And he didn't think it was funny either. I didn't have any jokes that were up his alley. I shouldn't mention a kid up an alley. That's just a weird, that's a Byron Kallick thing. But anyway, come out and say what's up after shows because i do really appreciate that to to know

that the whiskey ginger fan base is growing and spread that fucking word man keep telling people about the show about the the great guests that that we get and the conversations that we get to have and i'm trying to interact more with fans i want fans to connect more you know like i said drop the 16 bars if you know how to spit at i'm a santino fan at gmail.com we'll preview that in two weeks with my my guest that's a big hip-hop head. Come out and see me May 9th through the 12th. Go to Vegas, then in Raleigh, North Carolina at the end of May 30th, then in June, at the end of June, get your booty out to come see me, San Diego, at the La Jolla Comedy Store. All this ticket information is available at andrewsantino.com.

Go to andrewsantino.com for all that jazz. Cheeto Santino on Twitter and Instagram. You know how it is. Thank you so much again for coming along for the ride. I appreciate ya. I loves ya. Cheers, I'm out. Whisk, whisk, whisk, whisk.

You're that creature in the ginger beard. Sturdy and ginger. Like vampires, the ginger gene is a curse. Gingers are beautiful. You owe me $5 for the whiskey and $75 for the horse. Gingers are hell no. This whiskey is excellent. Ginger.

I like gingers.