Whiskey Ginger with Andrew Santino - Benny Blanco

Episode Date: April 26, 2024

Hey it's Selena Gomez's boyfriend Benny Blanco! Yeah, we don't get it either. This sick super producer (literally) who doesn't use email is on the show to hang out with his bud Santino, and to plug his new cookbook Open Wide which is out now. Enjoy! #bennyblanco #bennyblancoselenagomez #whiskeyginger #podcast #andrewsantino ================================================= SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS VIATOR PROMO CODE: VIATOR10 DOWNLOAD THE APP! https://viator.com TWILLORY PROMO CODE: WHISKEY18 https://twillory.com DOORDASH PROMO CODE: WHISKEY25 For 25% OFF YOUR ORDER DOWNLOAD THE APP! LUCY PROMO CODE: WHISKEY25 For 20% OFF YOUR ORDER http://lucy.co ======================================= Follow Andrew Santino: https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino/ https://twitter.com/CheetoSantino Follow Whiskey Ginger: https://www.instagram.com/whiskeyging... https://twitter.com/whiskeyginger_ Produced and edited by Joe Faria IG: @itsjoefaria Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In here, we pour whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey. You are that creature in the ginger beard. Sturdy and ginger. Like vampires, the ginger gene is a curse. Gingers are beautiful. You owe me $5 for the whiskey and $75 for the horse. Gingers are hell no. This whiskey is excellent.

Ginger. I like gingers. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to Whiskey Ginger. My guest today is one of my favorite people on Earth. I like gingers. You're doing ice. I'm doing no ice. Now, what did you say about this one? You said this was like- And it's 10 in the morning, by the way. Yeah, yeah. So let's have a little sip. Ooh, that- Dude. Delicious, right? This one is-

This is crazy. This tastes like water. It's so smooth. It's also you're sick. You have no taste and no smell. Yeah, I have no- What are up with these glasses? Well, they're supposed to be not on a coaster.

And this is cool? Yeah, it's very cool. Is there some reason, or is this just fashion? Fashion. Okay. Like these pants. Yeah, yeah. There's no reason for those. What do you mean? Rooster slacks. A man made me these in Japan. A man in Japan made you your pants, man? Yeah, man.

Benjamin Blanco, last time I saw you, I was in your home, in your backyard. Yes. You still live at the same place? No, I move every week you do no same place same spot joe put up the address right here my editor joe's gonna put up his home address right here we'll put up benny's home address and his email and his phone number right underneath really no email i really don't have sideshow jew at gmail.com is not yours because i've been emailing that weekly that's joe oh wow wait uh i actually don't have an email SideshowJew at gmail.com is not yours? No. Because I've been emailing that weekly. That's Joe.

Oh, wow. Wait, I actually don't have an email. Do you have an email? Who emails? You don't have an email address? No. What an insane thing to even say. Of course you have an email address.

I do not email. This is why you ride in the backseat of your manager's car? Do you drive cars anymore now? Or are you too famous? Well, I got my license when I was 35. How old are you now? 36. Oh, I got it when I was 30.

When was COVID? How many years ago? Well, 2004. Kind of started in 2020. Okay. You don't even know math anymore you got so famous? You got so famous and rich that you don't even know math? I don't know math. That's embarrassing.

I don't know math. No, in 2020, I got my license. 2020, during COVID? During COVID. When's the last time you drove your own vehicle? A few weeks ago. So every couple of weeks you'll step in the car?

Yeah, just to make sure. And you just get in there and you go beep, beep, vroom, vroom, and they're like, Benjamin, get out of the car. Yeah, it's actually not even driving. It's on blocks. They give you a simulator to drive in the garage? Yeah, they give me a little simulator. Are you still making music? What are you doing right now? Because you're here promoting a book simulator. Are you still making music? What are you doing right now? Because you're here promoting a book, but are you still making music?

I am making music. Tell us the name of the book. Open Wide. Open Wide. And you were supposed to have it on here, but you don't. It's outside. I know. You denied it. The nice young lady handed it to you like this.

I thought I would have had it later. Should I get it now? No, it's too late. Can she open the door? We'll put a picture of it right here. Okay. Joe, put a picture right here. Yay high. If you could put a picture over his face, just right over his head and face. I'm hideous. That's actually fine. If you put the book right over his head. I'm so ugly. You know

what the crazy thing is? I really believe, we actually put it in Dave. I believe that I'm actually so ugly and my features are so grotesque I like popped out the other side and now I'm just like a hot guy. I disagree. I think I'm hot. Do you think you're hot? I'm definitely better looking than you for sure. No. Yeah, just on an objective scale. You're so red. If you put me and you in the street up against each other

just as random men, they'd be like, this guy is I'm 6'1", I'm a full-size guy. Okay, okay. You're 6'1". It was just our heads. You look like that guy from Ice Age. I do. I look-size guy. Okay, okay. You're 6'1". What if it was just our heads? You look like that guy from Ice Age. What's that? I do. I look exactly...

That's what everyone on the internet always says. Wait, if we were just our heads floating, I think I have a good shot. Nah. Yeah, just our heads? No chance. Okay, okay. The head is the worst part about you. No, that's what I meant.

If it was gone, your body would look normal. No, I'm too small. No, right? It would just be a little... They'd go, who's that 15-year-old boy right there with hairy arms? Do you have a good cock, though? Yeah. How good?

It's great. No. It's definitely, your dick looks like that. It's so red. Yeah, it's bright red, but it's still big. It's as red. How big? Not that big.

I think I'm like. There's going to be people who are going to, who know. He knows. He's actually seen it before. How is it? It's like, is it like, oh, okay. No, you would just go, nice. Yeah, yeah, nice.

Nice. Nice dick. Nice dick. Okay, but you won't be like, no girl's ever been like, oh my God. Yeah, that would be big. I never said I had big. Okay, okay. Mine just goes, oh yeah, that's nice.

That's a good dick. Do you want to know the best part about mine? I'm five foot five. So everything a good dick. Now, do you want to know the best part about mine? I'm 5'5". So everything looks huge. What size feet are you? Like an 8 1⁄2. Right. I'm a 12 1⁄2.

Do you see what's going on here? Yeah. I think my dick might be bigger than yours. Doubt it. I think so. You might be like a long, skinny dick, but I have a thick dick. No, no, no, no, no. I'm like Dave.

I'm a fucking... That's it, huh? I'm a square. It's just a's it i'm a square it's just a square it's a square yeah yeah it's a square i have a square one of those square dicks all right well how about this let's ask uh let's ask the love of your life how did you get a woman like selena gomez to date you for real and i mean that with every sense of my being i lost a lot of respect for her when i found out you were dating her because I've known you for years. Yeah. And I don't know her at all. I think from afar, she's a lovely person. She's incredible. And then she is, she's incredible, a great actor, a great performer, a great artist, beautiful, sweet, seems so humble. And then I found out one day I was in the shower and my wife said, Hey, Benny is dating Selena Gomez. Yeah. And I turned the shower to cold all the way, and I sat there for about 30 minutes just

in a cold shower. Yeah, I under... Disappointed. I understand. I ask myself the same question every day. If I walk by the mirror, I'm like, oh my, what? Yeah, it's insane. No, you're a beautiful little man.

All jokes aside, enough of the deprecation. You're a beautiful little man, but I did lose a lot of respect for her as an artist. She's insane. No, you're a beautiful little man. All jokes aside, enough of the deprecation. You're a beautiful little man, but I did lose a lot of respect for her as an artist. She's amazing. She's incredible. I hope the views go down on Only Murders because of this. No, no, no, no. I hope because of this they plummet. The show gets canceled.

We just can't have you dating that guy, that cookbook guy. By the way, I have been following your gram and your TikTok closely, and all of the new cooking videos that you've been putting out. They're terrible. Very entertaining. Entertaining? Yeah, it was fun. Oh, thank God.

It's fun like the day I came over to your house and did that thing with you guys, with you and Maddie. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, dude, Maddie became like the most important man alive. I'm a little disappointed. I think you're mad at people's successes. Yes. Yeah. I mean, dude, Maddie became like the most important man alive. I'm a little disappointed. I think you're mad at people's successes. Yeah.

Yes. Yeah. So you're mad that I date Selena and you're very mad that Maddie kissed a guy on TV. You wish it was you. I actually, I got sad. No, I wouldn't kiss a guy on TV. You wouldn't? Not unless it's paid. Paid?

If they paid me to play a character to kiss a man in a film or a television show. Why wouldn't you do that? Because that's paid as I'm an actor No, no, no, no, why wouldn't you just kiss a man? Well, because I'm a straight, I'm a heterosexual male Yeah, but so is he, he was just No, he's not God, this guy became sick Guys, this room is so small

Can we do a follow-up in six days with your illness? Yeah, I'm getting sick for sure. It's embarrassing that you come. Just cancel. Why didn't you cancel? I can't cancel. I can't cancel on you. You never canceled on anything. I don't cancel. Never once have you canceled. No, I remember the last meeting I missed. It was like four and a half

years ago. Jesus Christ. Do you cancel a lot? I cancel if I'm sick. Yeah. I'm not that. I don't know if I'm contagious anymore. I doubt it. How long has this been? Like eight days. He literally said I have no taste and no smell. Yeah, I don't, but I don't have COVID, I swear. Okay. I think

when I played basketball yesterday, it all went away. And then it came back at night? Yeah, at night time. Do you have an air purifier at night? No, I like it freezing in my room. I have it blasting. Yeah, but you've got to get an air purifier in there. Oh, yeah, yeah, I have one.

A humidifier. Yeah. And then this still didn't help, huh? No, I'm sick. I'm not like, what do you mean? Yeah, but eight days and sports? But how often do you work out? Like, I work out four times a week, and then I play sports once a week.

What do you do in your workouts? What's a Benny Blanco workout? We do like a... Do you work out four times a week, and then I play sports once a week. What do you do in your workouts? What's a Benny Blanco workout? We do like a... Do you work out? Come on, dude. If we took our clothes off, what are we talking about? I think we both look pretty good. I'm in great shape.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you work out a lot? Yeah. I do something all the time. Yeah, I just do it for anxiety and stress and stuff. Really? Really? To make you feel,

like it's the one time where you really aren't thinking about anything. Like I don't think when I work out, I'm just like working out. And I work out with my friends. Like we all go to the gym together. You have a trainer? Yeah, we have a trainer.

What gym? It's like at a man's. Private gym? Yeah, I guess so. It's a fancy private gym. It's a fancy private gym. Or do you work out colds, Jim? What do you mean? fancy private gym. It's a fancy private gym. Do you still have a hot... Where do you work out, Gold's gym? What do you mean? At Curves.

What's Curves? Curves. It's for women only, but I got a discount. Curves? Yeah, Curves. Does your dick have a Curve? You've never heard of Curves before? In my entire life. Out of touch. What's Curves? He's out of touch. It's a famous woman's gym. It's a woman's only... It's a gym only for women. So they don't get oogled by men.

And they don't feel harassed when they work out. That's beautiful. I don't go to a corporate gym. I would never do that. That's insane. Like Equinox or any of those. That's a nightmare. What a nightmare.

I don't want to work out around all these people. I don't want to do it. Do you know people... You do it at home. For everyone that doesn't have enough money to go to a gym, if they're like, oh, you can afford enough... You can work out at home. You can get a few things at your house. You can do incredible workouts

just at the comfort of your own home. Is this a workout podcast? This is. Look into that camera and say Andrew's what do we call it? What's the new company called? Andrew's Anxiety Workout? Yeah. Andrew's Anxiety Workout. Thank you. Is that to Joe? No, we're just

going to use that as a plug and we'll put it somewhere else. Okay. Selena Gomez, huh? It blows my mind. This is the guy. Okay, okay. Get back to square one. Okay, okay.

How old are you now, by the way? 36. 36. Wow. How old are you? 40. Okay. Basically, yeah.

Close. 36. When's your 37th birthday? We just had our 36th birthday. I think Dave invited you, but you didn't go. Oh, that's right. No, no, yeah, that's right. I was in, where did we just get back from?

Make up some lie. No, he knows. We were in New York for the premiere of my movie. I did get the invite. I have a movie out right now called Ricky Stinicki on Amazon Prime. Number one movie. Me, John Cena, and Zac Efron. Really?

Yeah, it's number one movie on Amazon Prime Video. So now, would you say you're an actor more or a comedian? Or it's like split, it's like 50? When you met me, I was an actor too. I've always been an actor and a comedian. But I started as a stand-up, but I started acting. I thought Dave's thing was like your first thing. No.

Oh, I didn't know that. No. I didn't know that. Okay. I started acting in 2010, maybe? Oh, shit. I had a sitcom back then. And then I did another big series for Showtime called I'm Dying Up Here.

The last of the couple seasons was about comedy in the 70s. Henry Poole is here. Henry Poole. He's the name of the first movie I ever did. Then I did The Office, and I did Arrested Development, and then I did... Yeah, I've been around. I've been around for a long time. Everyone...

I will tell you one thing. rest of development and then i did yeah i've been around i've been around for a long everyone i will tell you one thing dave's show was kind of like uh a transitional point in my career where it was like i was going to either do way more comedy or get into acting a little bit more and then we did the show i will tell you one thing the last few years anytime your name is mentioned you might you're like you're like're like this level comedian now. Like everybody is like, and also every comedian says that you're the best comedian. Well, that's not true. No, I swear to God.

But people you talk to, because they know we know each other. I guess so. But no, I'll be somewhere and they'll be like, I'll just be talking, and I'll always say, I'll be like, oh, I was like, is Santino like a big guy? And they're like, oh my God, that guy's like, he's like the next dude that's going to be the biggest guy like in the world we'll see or or i might start a cookbook ali wong said i love rave thing has she was raving about she's one of the she's one of the best of the best of the best there's like a there is like a handful of people who are both really talented and nice in this business there's a lot of really talented people but there's not also that are cool or dope she is in that pool of a very very talented

and very dope which is really rare she's a really good like you you're very very talented i don't know but not dope yeah yeah no you're just in the talented pool yeah yeah but very yeah okay are you still making music for real? You didn't even answer. I am. And you're putting on an album. You cut me off to ask about Selena Gomez. Yeah, because it's still, it's like running through my brain.

This morning in the shower, I was like- Really? Pissing me off. So what runs through, tell me why it pisses you off. Because I really respect her. Yeah, I do too. Past tense, I respected her. No, no, you gotta respect her still.

I need to meet her through you now, then I'll change my opinion about her. Yeah, yeah. But before I thought, what an tense. I respected her. No, no. You got to respect her still. I need to meet her through you now. Then I'll change my opinion about it. Yeah, yeah. But before I thought, what an enigma this girl is. It is crazy. I will tell you, I'm amazed every single day. Like, when I wake up and I like talk to her and I'm like, oh, what are you doing today? Her day is always 400 times crazier than my day.

It makes me feel so bad about what I do. I ask her what she does. Every day she's saving someone. Someone's being saved. She's doing a company. She honestly is the most incredible. And your day is wake up, call Dave, FaceTime Dave in the shower or naked on the toilet. He doesn't answer me as much anymore.

Because he's not single anymore. Yeah, yeah. He's engaged. Yeah. In the shower or naked or on the toilet. He doesn't answer me as much anymore. Because he's not single anymore. Yeah, yeah. He's engaged. Wild. I know. Everyone's growing up. Yeah, but we have to, don't we, at some point?

This city makes you kind of delay growing up, but finally we all have to. Yeah. Would you get married one day or no? Is that not of interest to you? I don't,

I care so much more about having like a family than getting married. You don't have kids, do you? No kids, no. Do you want kids? Yeah. Yeah, sure.

We'll take some kids. What do you mean, we'll take some kids? Well, that's what you do. You go buy them. Do you buy them? We don't make them in Hollywood. That's insane. You don't want to be pregnant.

Nine months without work is too much. You go purchase them somewhere. Purchase them. It was a Costco up on Empire. What type of kid would you purchase? What color? No. I said what type.

That's what color and type are the same thing. No. Color and type are not the same. Well, what make and model are we talking about a child? Well, I'm saying like what type of kid do you want? What do you want his or her interest to be? Oh, I don't give a shit. Why would I care about any of that?

I just want it to be healthy and happy. I couldn't care less what it does. Okay. Political answer. The real thing is, nothing you say is political. That was very political. Healthy and happy. Who are you looking at? You're looking at yourself? Right at the audience. There's three cameras in there. I thought this is the audience. That's just Joe? That's just your

single. That's the wide and that's my single. Okay. You've never acted outside of Dave, huh? Was that the first time you acted on our show? Um, what's on this thing? Well, don't,

don't put your face on it. You just get a little bit away from it. Oh, here it is. There's a full pubic hair. Put it in your pocket. Thank you. Um,

would you ever act again? Only for like a friend or something yeah yeah yeah what if you got an offer to do only murders would you do that? I don't probably not

really? oh yeah for a friend yeah for a friend actually I've become very friendly with all the people on the show and they're so

like Steve Martin and Marty are like the coolest guys they're like legends it's insane everything they say is hilarious like Steve Martin and Marty are like the coolest guys. They're like legends. It's insane. Everything they say is hilarious. Like,

I'm in stitches the second I walk through the door. Yeah, they're incredible. They're like actually, and you know when people are like trying to be funny?

They're not even trying to be funny. They're just like, everything they say is just gold. They've just been on for so long. Their rhythm is,

well, I mean, they're literal living legends. Both of those guys. It's crazy. Who do you like more? You can be honest. They won't watch this

or know this exists. No, no, they won't watch. Marty doesn't even have social media. Good. And you don't have email, so you're getting there.

You're close. You like social media? No. It's a nightmare. It's a necessary evil. Yeah, but you'll stop it once you're like,

like, what, what? I post, I do this, what? I post. I do this. I post and ghost. You know what that is? Oh, yeah.

I post purely for work. That's it. I post and ghost. I don't really look at shit anymore. He's actually my proof of the pudding. These guys are now the ones that look at all the social stuff and let us know what's going on. Because we don't do it anymore. I don't want to do it anymore.

I mean, I ask him what's up. Yeah, I don't look it anymore i don't want to do it anymore i mean i ask him what's up yeah i don't look at i don't read i don't read any comments you can't read a comment like we were talking about someone before the show and i won't mention the name but they get a lot of hate and and they were saying read the comments yeah they do every every single every single one you can't do it well when i said to them was i said you i understand that when you're a certain age you you feel enthralled and you're owned a little bit by the internet. And then when you get a little bit older, you start to go, I just want to put stuff up. And people are going to shit on it if they're going to shit on it. And I don't care.

It's got to feel that way when you make music, when you put out any sort of, you have to just throw it up. You can't read the comments. Because here's what happens. The comment is, here's what the comment is. Someone either says like, I love you. And they're just sucking you off. And so why do you need to hear

that? Or they say like, you're a piece of shit. I hate you. So what do you need it for? You need someone to tell you like, you're the best. You're the best. Or you want to feel the pain of you suck. Yeah. Or some people want to feel it. There is no middle. No. I would love to read a comment. This is fine.

Yeah. I would love, yeah. Someone should be like, Hey, this was just like, this was just like perfectly okay. This was fine.

Honestly, that would be, I didn't like this or hate this. Yeah. That would be a night. That would be my favorite comment on the internet. Yeah. But I don't,

I don't read them at all. There's no way you don't have time. I just like, you're, you're a busy dude. I'm busy, but I like, I don't, I don't read it because i'm like occasionally you'll scroll past one like if i'm like looking for something for my friend or like there'll be like a post on the internet or

something and i'll scroll past it and all you can do is laugh yeah it's ridiculous all i can do is laugh like they're insane some of the stories that come out are insane. He reads them. He tells us what's really going on on the internet. But I don't care to really hear it unless it's constructive in a way where he gets an idea from something and then he goes, dude, you know, someone suggested we should do this cool thing. And then we like to interact with the fans on me and Bobby's show

so if the fans have something dope to offer, then we're like, yeah, let's do it. Does Bobby read it? A hundred percent. Does Bobby read every comment? He lives inside the comment section. A hundred percent. But what we found is like when you do... He wants to like hate himself, right? He does hate himself. Yeah, yeah. I think

most artists in some way dislike themselves. Do you hate yourself? I don't hate myself. That's a strong word. Do you dislike yourself? Of course. Are you depressed? I mean, I have clinical anxiety and depression, for sure. I've been diagnosed. But I wouldn't say it's like,

it's not all-consuming. But it exists. Do you take medicine? Not anymore. Really? I didn't like the way medicine made me feel. What were you taking? Like, SRI? I've tried everything. Yeah, I've tried so many different things. And you didn't feel good, but how did you get to a point where, like, you feel good now? I had a psychotic break where i hijacked a train on the long island

railroad on the lirr and i threatened to crash it it was a standoff they were gonna make a movie about it they're writing a book about it right now no i'm serious uh what happened to me to make me break no to make you feel like i have what i what to make you feel better now right much but i mean i have waves right i'm it's natural in my chemical but but what i would say um helped me cope was therapy okay exercise okay so you understand my exercise you're looking at me crazy no no i just didn't i just didn't i didn't think you exercised why not look at me but you're just a small man and i just assume small guys kind of don't need to because it just goes away. You don't really gain weight. Dude, I was 50 pounds heavier.

When you were a kid, were you fat? No, I was skinny. Because you've been small your whole life. And most small men that I know, they don't gain weight. No. Okay, okay. So I was heavy. I got heavy probably in like 2017.

What are we talking? What's heavy? 170? No, I was almost 190. No way. What are you now? 155? 140 something.

Yeah, come on. But I lost like 50 pounds. I was losing it. Okay, so by the time Dave happened, I had lost like most of it. And then second season, I lost like another like 15. God, I didn't know you were fat. I never saw you as that. Well, you didn't see me.

But I mean, even in pictures on the internet over the years. No, no, no, I was fat. You want to see one? Yeah, please. Pull up one. I'd love to see a fat banner. Okay, okay, okay. By the way, the jewelry, you've always had eccentric jewelry.

Do you change it out often? You always keep the same stuff on You don't wear jewelry, do you? No, no, I'm a straight heterosexual male You never wear jewelry, ever? Nothing Why? I don't like it

Really? Yeah, no I wear watches I like watches Oh, are you like a watch You like buy like expensive ones? I have a No, I have a ton of different

He's seen I've got a ton of watches I like I like a Casio to a Okay G-Shock to a First of different... He's seen... I've got a ton of watches. I like a Casio to a G-Shock. First of all... I like everything. Just look how fat I was there. Whoa.

Isn't that crazy? Wow, that's disgusting. Isn't that crazy? That is a pig. Look at that. That's a little... Isn't that disgusting? That is disgusting.

That's a little pig pig. Yeah, I know. In here, we pour whiskey. Hey, so when I get some time, I like to travel just a little bit. I'm going to be going to España this year, maybe to shoot a movie with Fancy. Who knows? But when I go to Spain and we got some time to travel, my favorite thing to do is to go walk around, have new experiences,

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I like gingers. Wow, that's disgusting. Now your chains are like chokers at this point. I know, and then look now. Now you look thin. Yeah, I's disgusting. I was big. Now your chains are like chokers at this point. I know, and then look now. I have like... Now you look thin. Yeah, I look good. Well, congratulations on losing the weight.

Okay, so you... I've never been fat, but I have been out of shape. No, no, no, but you were like... Okay, so you started working out. You went to therapy. Therapy's always good. Working out and then community. Finding a community outside of the community that my job has.

Oh, like friends. Real humans. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Getting away from the business. Yeah, it's very important. Because the business is, your business friends are great. No, no. But you need community again.

Well, you just need people to not, like some of my friends. Okay, so my friends, I have like two class of friends in my, like two, like, so half of my friends who like are not in the business have, are like, you have like $8 billion. You like, or they're like, whoa, you could pay for this dinner. Like they don't understand Hollywood at all. Like, so they don't like, like, so I have. Are you friends with billionaires with a B? I mean, I'm sure. Yeah. Like some. How many billionaires with a B? I mean, I'm sure.

Yeah, like some. How many billionaires do you know? I don't know. There's only like 500. Yeah, I think I know a few of them. Well, who do you know? I don't know. Pipe up, dude. Don't get shy with me.

I know. We're talking about our friends who are normal. You brought it up, by the way. No, no. But what I'm saying is I have friends. Like one of my best friends works for Capital One. And when we talk, there's nothing that has to do with Hollywood. He doesn't live anywhere.

He's a kid from home. Yeah, yeah. I'm still friends with a lot of kids that I grew up with. That's cool. You need that. Are you? I'm friends with, I would say, so my best friend, my oldest friend, yes, still lives back where we grew up.

Where'd you grow up? Lives in Chicago, but he lives outside of Milwaukee now. Okay, okay. And then a few of my other good friends that still live in Chicagoland area. I would say my closest chunk of friends from home, there's like five. Yeah. Are you friends with Bobby outside of this or no? Bobby Lee?

Yeah. No, that's disgusting. No, he's one of my best friends. You guys are like actually homies. Yeah, we talk to each other every day. But we've also been through a lot of shit that the audience doesn't know about too. Well, we talk about it, but I don't know if they understand. What?

I put him in rehab three times. We bonded when his father died. We got really, really close. I think people don't understand. No, because everyone sees the funniness of yeah it was it was we had a real dark deep friendship that went through like a lot of near breakups near never talk agains yeah yeah when you put someone in rehab more than once it fucking sucks of course it's a nightmare did the same thing with my brother yeah you have to put someone in rehab you really like it does something to the way that you relate to one of

course and also your sympathy goes through the roof. You start to get more empathy and sympathy. Oh my God. Because your heart grows. You understand that like people are complex. There is no one way about life. No, no, no. It's like, it's like, dude, like my father,

like we had a situation where I had to do something similar to that too. And it's like, you know, it puts you in like a, you're like, whoa, no matter like how you feel about someone before, how you feel, like puts you in like a you're like whoa no matter like how you feel about someone before how you feel like it's just like you're like wow this person really they did it they tried their fucking hardest they're really trying they're like going to rehab they're trying their hardest or they're going you know you know you know like my dad my dad suffers some like mental you you know, mental illness.

And it's like he, yeah, like he fucking got in there. Like I never thought he would be back to normal and he fucking turned it around. And I sit there and I'm like, holy fucking shit. And it makes you like have so much empathy, sympathy, everything. And you're just like, whoa, what the fuck? Okay. It's huge. Yeah.

It's a big growth thing. And for you, you grow. Oh my God. My whole family, like it's like, you know, big growth thing and for you you grow oh my god my whole family like it's like you know and i'm sure you're like me i'm like a person who like tries to laugh everything off yeah you gotta like i like make fun of it yeah yeah like i make fun of like the worst things that have happened like i'm like i like laugh about like terrible things because it's like it's my only way to cope like 9-11 yeah yeah did you ever buy your mommy a car i did that was like the first thing I asked my mom,

I said, Mom, you can have any car you want. I'll get you anything you want, whatever you want. And she bought the lowest level Mercedes. She bought the compressor. C300? Yeah, that's what she has, still to this day. I bought it for her

right when I got, I bought it for her like 15 years ago. She still has it it and it looks brand new. My mom is like a, the first thing I ever bought her was a washing machine. She really wanted a washing machine. My mom, every year, I tell her she can have anything she wants and every year she wants a $200 gift card to Marshalls. That sounds perfect. That's what my mom, that's what my mom.

Practicality. Oh my God. At its finest. Oh, when we go to a restaurant still to this day, she's like, don't order too many appetizers. Too expensive. But you tell her I'll pay for it. It's okay. Yeah, yeah.

But she goes, I don't want. No, no, no. The first thing you bought was a washing machine. Yeah, she wanted a washing machine. What are we talking? Whirlpool? Samsung? LG?

Probably Whirlpool. Whirlpool. That sounds nice. Probably bought it at Costco. I bought my parents a computer. That was my first gift when I got my first TV check. Computer? I bought them parents a computer That was my first gift When I got my first TV check Computer? I bought them an iMac

And my dad was upset Because he was so used to PCs He did not like it at all He was very upset about it And I said My dad's a neat freak He was like a military brat Really?

So like His dad You know he was very strict Yeah yeah So he likes cleanliness And I was like Dad you're gonna love this There's just

Everything is in the screen Yeah yeah yeah You don't even have to have There's no shit to love this. There's just, everything is in the screen. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You don't even have to have, there's no shit anywhere. No, no, no. There's no shit. Yeah, but they don't understand. He didn't like it. My dad and my mom, the hardest part is, I was trying to get them on Apple TV.

And they were like, what do you mean? And like, for some reason, my dad will. Not get them the physical Apple television, but Apple TV, the app. Yeah, my dad will fight with me over how to turn the TV on. And I'm like, Dad, all you do is, and he goes, give me that shit. And he tries to do it, and he can't do it. Do your parents fight with you over that? My parents are at an age now where technology is going too fast.

Yeah, yeah. So I get calls weekly on how to do shit. And I'm happy to help, because I feel bad, because they're falling behind. I can tell my dad. They're falling apart. They just don't know how to do shit. And I'm happy to help because I feel bad because they're falling behind. I can tell my dad. They're falling apart. They just don't know how to do it anymore. No, they don't. My parents can't do anything.

You know, it's crazy how like all of a sudden when you turn like 70, you can't do anything. You can't do anything. My mom goes, she's like, what? And I'm like, mom, just like ordering on Postmates. She doesn't even have the app. She doesn't have it. My mom has Uber, but there's no credit card attached to it. And she goes, it doesn't work. And I'm like, mom, you have to attach, so then she attaches it, and she always sends it to a different person's house.

So you know what you can do? What? Attach your credit card to it. Yeah, I do. I do whatever she says. And then they still don't know how to use it. No, they don't know how to do it. My mom can't do anything.

She can't do any, one time. Will she answer a text if you text her right now? Yes, she answers texts. My dad answers a text like three weeks later, and he just writes like, hi. Like there's no, doesn't even answer the question I say. My dad found emojis. Oh, my mom. He just found emojis.

My mom just did. It's awesome. Yeah, my mom just found emojis. And they never make sense. I'm like, hey, how you doing? She sends like the cow. And I'm like, what? No, she's right. That's funny. Yeah, no. No, your mom's cool. That's very funny. No, no, no, no. She's like, I'm like, hey, how you doing? She sends like the cow. Like, and I'm like, what? No, she's right.

That's funny. Yeah, no. No, your mom's cool. That's very funny. No, no, no, no. She doesn't. My dad said, I'm at a funeral. And then thumbs down is what he did.

Oh, I like that. That was funny. I like that. He literally wrote back, I'm at a funeral. Thumbs down. That's good. But he's right. That's a bummer.

And you can see, he was like, for so long, he was like, he probably took out his glasses to find like the thumbs down. Oh, of course. I don't use it. I don't use, I don't go to the emoji bar i write type in the word and it comes out and then like but i only use one emoji what is it just the heart that's the only one you use yeah i don't know which one is it the beating heart or just the still heart i didn't even know there was a beating heart there's a layered beating heart now you'll find this out with me i am very not i'm not tech savvy at all.

Well, that's why you wrote a book. Yeah. Yeah, because who the fuck is reading books? I know, it's so stupid. Also, it's a cookbook. I have a cookbook. It's a cookbook, and go get Open Wide. Yeah, go get it.

It's available everywhere right now. I do like cookbooks. In fact, Maddie Matheson's book is right next to our stove. Do you cook? Yeah. I mean, my wife cooks better than I do, but I like to try. You try. You know who I cook with? Who? Jacques Pepin. You know jacques pepin you know oh yeah yeah yeah of course so i follow him

all the time on yeah yeah of course he's like a chicken thigh for one yeah this is a simple recipe yeah he's jacques pepin if you don't know that guy he's so funny it's not there's no flair it's real simple yeah but it's a lot of meals for one or two because it's i think it's just him and his partner so he makes small meals so i I'm like, this is great. Because sometimes you go to cooking shows, they're cooking meals for like 30 fucking people. Do you ever have people over? Oh, yeah. You do?

We hire somebody. You do? I hire a guy. Why? I can't cook. Wait, so. I can't cook like that. I can cook for me and my wife and maybe my cousin who lives with us. That's literally what my, your cousin lives with you?

Yeah. Who? He just got out of prison. He did? We're trying to rehab him out in the real world. Actually, or no? No, no, no, no. He just moved to Los Angeles.

So he lives with you. For how long? Yeah, he's been there for... When's the cutoff? That's a good question, actually. Luke's been with us for a while, huh? How long has he been with us? A little too long, right?

He's been with... Yeah, yeah. What do you keep looking at? Oh, that's your mic. He's looking at the board, yeah. Oh, that's your mic. Oh, wow. Real man on the ones and twos over there.

He knows what he's doing. This guy's a tech kid. Yeah. My cousin lives with me. For how long? This time has been six months. What do you mean this time? Well, he went back home for a little while.

You know? What? Family stuff. Family stuff? Family stuff. Okay. We don't talk about it. So he went...

No, it's just... It's nobody's business. It's just he had to go deal with shit and then... Okay. Come back and then... Now he's back. He's been living with me, but now he's finally out. We're going to miss him.

Oh, so he is out. Well, he's still currently in the house, but we're moving out. Who's moving out? We are. My wife and I are moving out. Oh, you are, so you forced him to leave. He kind of wants his own place anyway, but I loved having him around. Why are you moving?

He's selling his house. I want to get out. Why? It's haunted. The house is haunted? Yeah. There is a woman? Just selling this house. I want to get out. Why? It's haunted. The house is haunted? Yeah. There is a woman that lives in our house.

There is? Not your cousin, just a woman? No, that's a man. Oh, that's a man. No, the woman is a ghost. She's dead. Okay.

She died, which crazy is, she died on the toilet in the hallway bathroom. And that's where I see her. In real life. Yeah. And she has her pants

on her ankles as she walks through the hallway. Because she's constipated, I think. And she'll shuffle from the bathroom to the front room. Do you ever get constipated? Only when I travel. It's so hard to poop when you're on the road. Coffee, coffee, coffee.

I thought you said coughing. Coffee keeps me regular. I don't drink coffee. You've never had coffee? I don't drink caffeine. Really? No. How are you this annoying? I don't drink caffeine. Really? No. How are you this annoying without caffeine?

It's crazy. This is amazing. It's crazy. But you've never had a cup of coffee? Or you've tried it? I've tasted it. Yeah, of course. Well, don't make that face.

Some people I know have never even tried it. No, I've tasted it. It tastes delicious, actually. So you like it, but you wouldn't consume it daily because it's not for you? I just don't need to add another thing to my life. But if you taste good, that's part of why we like it. I like it because I like the taste. It doesn't taste good enough for me to be like, wow, I'm really craving that.

See, that's ironic because I don't really give the boost of coffee, quote-unquote, like the— I don't get that. I just enjoy a cup of coffee in the morning. Do you drink one every day? Every day. Do you drink one? I drink a few every day. I drink two or three cups a day.

You're drinking two cups right now? Yeah. Wait, why are you drinking two? He's got to stay up. He's got a lot of work to do. What's that one for? One of them is cold brew. You do drugs?

Do kids do drugs anymore? Oh, my God. This guy does drugs. No, do you actually? No. I mean, I drink. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He smokes pot.

Yeah, yeah, that's cool. Look, he doesn't do drugs, but he'll smoke pot or take Molly or, you know what I mean? But he won't do drugs. But he'll take mushrooms and a little bit of coke, but he won't do drugs. Everyone does K now, right? Yeah, ketamine's big. Do you do it? No one died.

That whole time we were kids. People are dying now. Listen to that cough. Are really famous people dying? No one's dying young. No huge famous star is dying young right now, right? Well, I think- Like of like AIDS or cancer.

No, that's not true. That kid from Euphoria died last year. What kid? What was his name? Angus Cloud? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. But that was drug related. Well, what?

Yeah, you just said no one young is dying that's famous. What the fuck are you talking about? Yeah, yeah, we'll just cut this section. Yeah, that Angus Cloud kid died of an overdose. Who else died recently? Okay, all right, I get it. We'll cut it. Google who died recently cut this section. Yeah, that Angus Cloud kid died of an overdose. Okay, all right, I get it. We'll cut it. Google who died recently from, no.

No, but. But you're not going to die anytime soon, are you? I don't know. Are you scared of dying? No, I'm not scared of dying. I am. No, I don't want to die. Yeah, yeah, sorry, I don't want to die.

Yeah. Sorry, I really don't want to die. Like when people joke and they're like, oh, ready to go. It's like, no way. Don't you have more shit you want to do? So much more I want to do. What do you want to do? Leave Los Angeles. Really? Yeah, no way. Don't you have more shit you want to do? So much more I want to do. What do you want to do? Leave Los Angeles.

Really? Yeah, five years. That's my goal. Five-year plan? In 45, I'm out. Why? Because you'll have enough money to leave. No, no, it's not about money.

I just want a new chapter in my life. Okay, and where do you want to go? I'm ready for another chapter. Chicago? No. No one wants to go to Chicago. Yeah, Chicago's great, man. No, Chicago sucks.

It's so cold. You're the dumbest guy on planet Earth. No, no, no. It's one of the greatest cities that ever existed. That is true. It is one of the greatest cities. Except for what? The cold? Yeah, it's too hard. it's so cold you're the dumbest guy on planet earth it's one of the greatest cities that ever that is true it is one of the greatest except for what the cold yeah it's too hard we're too cold outside dude you bundle up you live in la yeah i moved here for a career not because of the weather you bundle up you don't like the weather here no it's fine but here's the deal when it's cold i'll tell you what this does to you dude you're from cold weather. I know. That's why I don't live there. Here's what cold does to you. Cold puts you in situations where you have

to like communally bond about it. The pain of going through a winter with people. It's why people go to a bar in the Midwest and they have a drink together and they laugh. People don't fucking have a drink together with strangers out here. Nobody wants to talk to anybody. That's true. Because we're spoiled individualists. But you go to places that have

tougher. What do you mean we're having a drink right now? Yeah, but this will be done in 20 minutes. How many drinks do you want to have? Five or six. Yeah. This is, by the way. Phenomenal. Incredible. This is incredible. It's very good, right? And it's smooth. What else? What I'm trying to say is Coldweather, he knows he's a Midwest kid. It bonds you in a way that does something to you communally and culturally. I do very much so believe. Yeah, I can tell. The one thing I can tell is when anyone's from where I grew up, everyone acts a certain way.

You're an East Coast kid. Virginia. Close enough. Kind of East Coast. But they all act. You can tell who's... I knew right away that you weren't from L.A. You can just tell when people have...

Yeah. He has a Midwest face, though. This kid looks like... You know what I mean? Like a hockey coach. Yeah, you look like you live on a farm. But you can tell when people aren't from... Yeah, you can tell.

You can tell. You think you've transformed into a little bit of an L.A. guy, though? You have a little bit of L.A. going on. I don't think so. A little bit. Okay. You have a little bit of an L.A. guy, though? You have a little bit of L.A. going on. I don't think so. A little bit. Okay. You have a little bit of a L.A. vibe. A little.

I'm like, hot? No. I've said that before, and I'm going to say it again. It'll just never be hot. No chance. Could I be hot? No. Not in this lifetime.

You don't think any way? I believe in reincarnation. Besides facial reconstructive surgery. What are you eating? He's eating a muffin. You would have to do a full... Look, you and I aren't going to be hot. We can be sexy.

What do you mean? I think you're cute. No, no, we can be sexy. Is Bobby hot? No, 100% not. Who is the ugliest out of all of us? Out of you and Bobby? Yeah, Bobby.

Bobby probably, yeah. For sure, that's not even close. If you were going to say me... No, no, no. No, no, no. He's got his little scallop body. And Dave's ugly too? Dave is ugly, yeah.

Okay. Because Dave looks identical to me. Just taller and more annoying. Yeah, yeah. Who's your hottest friend? Maybe Idris Elba. Maybe. Oh, he's so hot.

He's one of the nicest men. Can you imagine if I was friends with that guy? Oh, you're not? Idris Elba? Oh, no. I actually am friends with him. You of the nicest can you imagine if I was friends with that guy oh you're not Idris Elba oh no I actually am friends you can be friends with him I'm not friends with that guy he's so nice

he's too hot yeah he's very hot when you go out with that guy nobody knows you're there yeah yeah of course you go out to a restaurant with that guy they'll be like

Idris is talking to a nobody huh yeah to just a simple to nobody just like I wouldn't want to be around that fucking huck I'm like a make a wish

who's that sick, dying, curly haired boy? Yeah, yeah. It's crazy. He's fucking so gorgeous, that guy. I think, do you know what's crazy though?

I look in the mirror every day and I'm like, man, you look good. Yeah, to you, you do look good. I say that I look good. You should have self confidence. I think I look good.

Yeah. Yeah, dude, delusion is great. Do you think you look good? No. No, I feel fine. Really? I wake up every morning

And I'll be like I'll be like Oh wow Skin looking good That's cause of your mom and daddy Your mom and your daddy Give you a lot of praise When you were a kid

They were like You're the greatest You're the most wonderful You're the sweetest Am I wrong? My mother Yeah My mother

Jewish parents man There's something about them They do that to these kids And our parents don't do that Catholic kids are always like you suck get it together you don't look at yourself and you don't think you look hot

no I look in the mirror and I go this will do this is fine this is perfectly fine does Bobby think he's hot yeah Bobby does think he's hot he was coddled same thing Bobby looks hot sometimes though that's wrong

no sometimes he looks hot. No, he looks fun. Yeah, fun, hot. If you were a woman, you'd want Bobby? No. Right. No, no, no. Okay, so take it back.

No, no, no. I can't take back his hotness. All right, he's a hot guy. No, no, no. I really have genuine question, because I'm curious about this for real. Okay, okay. Because I spoke to this about my wife before you came on yesterday. I was like, the way that you're putting together shit on the internet of your cooking,

I was not surprised when you guys were saying you were going to put out a book. Because I thought, this has got to be a fun side thing in your career to do as a new stage or step. Because you're not a traditional chef. No. You didn't go to training. No. But you always have people on and you do fun, wild shit with food. Yeah.

And I was like, it's perfect for this fucking guy. I love cooking. Okay. Okay. You know what I love? I love having people over. I love entertaining. Yeah.

Okay. I started doing it a long time ago and I just want to get you a little bit more sick. I know, man. And your shoes are off. Yeah. No shoes. Yep. So, okay. What? You looking at my toes out? I got the dogs out. I just want to get you a little bit more sick I know man and your shoes are off yeah no shoes so okay you looking at my toes out I got the dogs out oh you get gels on them

yeah this one's got pickles my girlfriend's favorite pickle brand she likes your gel toes yeah she loves them another notch of respect gone one more notch of respect gone no no at least they're well manicured you're a little jealous not of my toes. No, no, at least they're well manicured. You're a little jealous.

Not of my toes, of the situation. No, not even a little bit. I'm just shocked. Okay. I like America. I'm shocked. I understand. Yeah, America is shocked.

America is shocked. No, you know, I can only say this to you because there's love in my heart for you. Yeah, but America's shocked. America's actually shocked. Yeah, yeah, fully shocked. Is Joe shocked? My editor, Joe? Yeah. He's all the way across. That's not Joe. That's McCone. No, I America's shocked. America's actually shocked. Yeah, yeah, fully shocked. Is Joe shocked? My editor, Joe? Yeah.

He's all the way across. That's not Joe. That's McCone. No, I'm saying Joe. Oh, Joe the editor? He probably is shocked. He's sitting there like, come on. McCone is here.

Joe is here. When I saw your name, they said like, oh, if you have any issues, just call. Call McCone. What's your last name? Corkery. Yeah, it's crazy. McCone Corkery. Yeah, it's like you're that up McCone Corkery it's like yeah it's like you're on it's like you're like a cop

on like a on like one of those CSI shows yeah I've never seen CSI ever not in my whole life well me neither

but I know what it is yeah yeah no I know what it is but I've never watched an episode CSI is like Harry Potter to me I've never seen one but I know what they are yeah yeah

and by the way I know so much about them because of the zeitgeist of of course isn't that crazy I've never seen one but I know everything about them. I saw one for the first time in 2020. Have you ever seen Lord of the Rings?

No, never. Me neither. Never. I hate that type of shit. Wait, look at this. Yeah, it's so stupid. Wait, have you ever seen Game of Thrones? No, never.

Never. We're the same guy. Yeah, who cares? I don't care. I don't like it. It's the stupidest shit ever. I saw one episode of Game of Thrones one time because Ed Sheeran was in it and he made me watch it with him.

He did a guest star on that show? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I didn't know that. He was like singing in it. All right, then what do you watch religiously? What are you obsessed with? Also, you want to know another show I don't watch? What?

Friends. Never seen one episode. Never seen one episode. Oh, I love you. Seinfeld? Yeah, of course. Of course. Okay, well, no, you don't, I don't know.

Yeah, Seinfeld, yeah. Seinfeld, what did I watch? Full House. When I was a kid, I think I watched a little bit of it. Everybody liked it a littleeld? Yeah, of course. Okay, well, no, I don't know. Yeah, Seinfeld. What did I watch? Full House. When I was a kid, I think I watched a little bit of it. Everybody liked it a little bit. Yeah, yeah, everyone watched a little. Even if you didn't, you had to. Of course you did.

It was on. When I was a kid, Sopranos was very big in our family. You know how many times I've seen Sopranos? Yeah, I've seen it four times. Five. I've watched it all the way through five times. That's amazing. I just did my fifth series on this last run.

I'm in the middle of my fourth. And I gotta tell you, it's better every time I watch it. Oh, it's the best show. There's so many things I forget. Me too. Every time.

And I've seen it so many times. And I see people that I forget were on the show. Like actors that I was like, oh God. Like my friend Ari, who did a, we did a series together

that I'm dying up here. She plays Meadows' college best friend at NYU, the girl that pulls her hair out. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's my friend Ari. But it's so funny to see her as so, she's so young.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's so weird to look back at how young everybody was. Sopranos. Michael Imperioli has an age, by the way. He looks the exact same. Yeah, it's crazy.

It's fucking wild. It's crazy. It's like he's been 23 his whole life. Sopranos I've watched a lot. Sopranos was big for me as a kid. I actually have re-watched probably Seinfeld a multitude of times, but obviously not in order.

No, you just see it whenever it's on. Yeah, Seinfeld you watch whenever it's on. You're like, oh, that's amazing. Curb, have you ever missed Curb? I've seen all the Curbs. I haven't seen the new season, though. It's good. I mean, it's good.

I mean, Curb was huge in my family growing up. Yeah. What else? You know, I watch all my friends' shows. I mean, it's good. It's good. I mean, Curb was huge in my family growing up. Yeah. What else? You know, I watched all my friends' shows. I watched Beef. I watched- Yeah, Beef was good. The Bear.

I watched all that shit. I haven't seen The Bear. Yeah, yeah, it's good. I refuse to watch it. Why? Chicago. Oh, yeah. You should watch it.

No. My friend made it. He was from Chicago. Chris Storer. Yeah. I know Chris. He's from Chicago. I know Chris well. I can't watch it. Why? I support it from afar. You just donorer Yeah I know Chris He's from Chicago I know Chris well

I can't watch it Why? I support it from afar You just don't want to watch It's going to be You know what I am with the bear I'm like the biological father It'll hit home

Who's looking in the window At the stepdad with my ex-wife Yeah yeah yeah And the family at Christmas And I'm smoking And I'm watching them do it Yeah yeah yeah And I get a little smile

A little wink And then I walk off screen That's who I am to the bear I get it Like good for you guys And then I move on And back to the bar to get drunk walk off the screen that's who I am to the bear I get it like good for you guys and then I move on and back to the bar to get drunk

and forget about what's going on you want to make a show about Chicago and I meet a woman at that bar that night I'm playing pool I get hustled out I get beat up in the parking lot

I take her home you know I fall asleep she robs me it kind of sounds like that and I take a flight to Quintana Roo Mexico it sounds like that I get into like this weird

knife gang for some reason and I kidnap kidnap an elderly person for some reason. I don't know why I would do that. And then we go down to the bay. Anyway, I get shot by the cops. What were you saying? You got shot by the cops? In here, we pour whiskey.

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Have fun. Be safe. Ginger. I like gingers. And my little tail. I get gunned down on the beach. It sounds like you're just jealous again. There's so much jealousy.

Of the bear? I don't know, of Chicago. Oh, I love the city. No, no. I have a weird time watching it because of my connection to Chicago. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Are you like highly connected? No, I'm proud of Chicago stuff.

I like Chicago stuff. You want to make a show? I'm making a show. You are right now? I'm making a show. What is it? I can't give too much away, but I'll tell you off camera.

You're making a show? I can tell you it's about this. It's about whiskey? Kinda. Yeah, it is. We'll tell you all about it this. It's about whiskey? Kinda. Yeah, it is. We'll tell you all about it on there. Do you know about this? Are you in it?

No. He'll be a part of it in some way, but he doesn't know what. You'd probably have a bigger role than he would on the show, if we're being honest, in any way. I will? I mean, if I want you on the show, it would be bigger than anything he could contribute. Do you want me on? Yes. Do you want Bobby on?

No. No Bobby? No, I gotta have Bobby on? No. No Bobby? No, I gotta have talent on the show. You're cutting ties with Bobby. No. He's my best, best friend. You know, Bobby and I are doing a show as well.

Where is Bobby? Bob and I are doing an animated series. Oh, that's cool. Yeah. Where is Bobby? Does Bobby sleep late? Refuses to wake up before noon.

Refuses. Do you know, in my entire life... And then they're shooting all day. Aren't they shooting belly today? You know, I've only woken up at noon once in my whole life. What do you wake up in the morning? What time?

6.30. Every day? Yeah. Okay. Respect level for you went up again. It was way down, but now it goes up. 7, 7.30. Yeah, yeah.

I actually slept... Since I was feeling a little sick, I slept till 7. What time do you go to bed? Like 6.30. Yeah, yeah. I actually slept, since I was feeling a little sick, I slept till 7. What time do you go to bed? Like 6.45. In my ideal world, I go to bed at 11.30, sometimes, you know, one or two. You on the phone all night?

No. Right now I am. My girlfriend is shooting in New York. They're shooting the show. Yeah, so like, so we're on the phone a lot. I love you. I miss you.

Yeah, we have virtual dates. We're having one tonight. Can I come? Yeah, of course. Let me just be in the background staring at you guys? Yeah, of course. Have you ever met her? No.

Maybe I have, but I don't think so. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you know when you meet people sometimes you don't remember? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Maybe we met through somebody? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

No, but I'm sure she's lovely and I'm sure the connection is she's doing charity she's doing charity with right now physically in new york with me yeah no i know with me yeah no it is crazy i understand no it's not charity no i understand no you got a sweetheart and you're a good guy and you're got a nice mind and you're talented and you're successful and why not what would be the reason to not yeah you know what i mean you're just and you're successful and why not? What would be the reason to not? Yeah. You know what I mean? You're just saying that so they don't come after you. Who can come after? Everybody can come after.

What do I give a shit? Who's going to come after me? Her fans for mocking you? Yeah, they already hate me. What are you talking about? They already think I'm mocking you. What are you talking about? They're all on my side. They're like, he's right. Yeah, yeah, it's true. The ugly redhead is right. Yeah, it's true. Dude, I've been a redhead my whole life. I don't think you're ugly. So I don't care. Oh, redhead, you're automatically like a little ugly, right? Yeah, redhead is right. Yeah, it's true. Dude, I've been a redhead my whole life. I don't think you're ugly. So I don't care.

Oh, redhead, you're automatically like a little ugly, right? Yeah, redhead, you get like a little bit of a, we get put down socially. That's why I feel so. Are your pubes brown or red? They're black. Black? They're the same color as my hair, you fucking goof. Just like yours.

Could you imagine if they were a different color? I don't know. Or if they're slightly darker. No darker no no they're the exact same you got like mohawk pubes or something yeah he does he buzzed them no now guys your age what do they do they landing strip they shave a landing strip yeah do you shave yeah manscape oh use the manscape do you trim or shave you buzz you buzz you go bald you're a bald eagle aren't you you wax you i know you you got your fucking no i keep it trim nice and tight i trim it i buzz it i i really do manscape but i buzz it with the manscape thing i do that probably like i don't know once a week i keep it a week yeah once a week whoa when you do self-, how's it? How's the landscape?

I never used it. It's great. We're not even doing a plug for them. Is it better than just a regular one that you use on your beard? I have two separate. I have to have one for my face and one for my body. I shave it off. You shave your asshole.

I got a buzz down there. I buzz right on the understrip. Yeah. My, my grundle. I get, I get a little fly by. It leaves it like, uh it with some stubble?

Yeah. Isn't it like itch when you walk? Not really. You don't put a little powder down there? I thought you're not supposed to do that. Isn't that cancer? Well, right, yeah. You're talking about talcum powder.

People are getting sued now. No, but there's New Age shit you can put down there. New Age hippie powder? Yeah, hippie powder. Okay. It's just dust from dirty dreadlocks. Hippie powder? It's a dirty dreadlock dust.

Wait, I want... So how short are we talking? Like here? Huh? Like this much? A little bit more than that. Okay, okay. Kind of like my beard.

My beard has to match my pubes. Okay. Always. Do you ever go clean shaven? It's insane. So stupid. It's insane. Clean shaven is,

like you look, you're like a hot guy so you could be clean shaven. He's not hot at all. He's cute. He's cute. But he has like, look at his jawline.

It's great. Turn sideways. That's like a good, actually never mind. It's okay. But it's white trash jawline. It's okay. It's white trash

because he's white trash. What's on your Spotify playlist right now? I Because he's white trash What's on your Spotify Playlist right now? I don't use Spotify What's on your Apple Music playlist right now? I listen to like Records a lot

You don't listen to Anything on the phone? Occasionally But mostly records Like in your car While you don't drive What's the newest band Right now that you like?

Newest? I don't listen to A lot of contemporary music Do you? I don't listen to a lot of contemporary music. Do you? What do you listen to? I shift who I'm into right now. I'll tell you who I'm into right now that I like a lot. Right now, I'm into a band.

I'm always out of touch. The Harmolays. The Harmolays. I don't even know who that is. Fantastic. Absolutely fantastic. All right. The Harmolays. Two young ladies. The Harmolays. The Harmolays. I don't even know who that is. Fantastic. Absolutely fantastic. All right. The Harmolays.

Two young ladies. The Harmolays. What type of stuff are you really listening to a lot? This? What do you mean? Like, what do you... I really cycle through. He can tell you I'm fucking...

I am all over the map. Does he have good taste? I'm a big 90s hip-hop guy. Yeah, yeah. I'm a massive... Growing up the way... Like, in our generation. But he likes a lot of that stuff. But in the new age world, I like a lot 90s hip hop guy. Yeah, yeah, me too. I'm a massive, growing up the way, like in our generation. But he likes a lot of that stuff.

But in the new age world, I like a lot of like, I like Indian folk. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you have a softer side people don't know about? I love, yeah, no, people know about it. People know I'm a softy bofty. Is he soft? You have a hard shell sometimes. Don't we all?

No, I'm soft as baby shell. I know. No, anybody who's hard on the outside, it's because they're making up for all sorts of insecurities and pain and trauma and stuff that they've got going on inside. But everyone who knows me knows that I'm a fucking, I'm a soft, sweet prince. Yeah, yeah.

I have a huge empathetic heart. Does Dave know you're a soft, sweet prince? Is Dave good on this show? Did he do Whiskey Ginger? Yeah, he did this and Bad Friends. How was he? Not good. Not like you. What do you mean, not like me?

Just not good. Why wasn't he good? No, he did great. I'm just teasing. He knows I'm soft? Yeah, he knows I have a very sensitive side. He knows I'm a caring... Anybody who really knows me knows how caring and loving I really am and what I really care about. The internet has a perception of you.

Just like you, dealing with what you're dealing with. Dating who you're dating. They think they know you. They don't fucking know you. People don't fucking know you. They don't know your real soul. You know? You don't know his soul. They don't really know you. But yes, of course I have a little soft side. I can't believe, who signed that?

What is it? Enter the Woo. Oh. What do you mean? Who signed it? It looks like there was a signature. It what do you mean who signed it it looks like there was it's meth method man signed it yeah that was a gift from a fan

it was like one of the nicest gifts I've ever gotten in my entire life it was a 36 chambers album signed by method man that album changed my life I mean come on man

it was very important all of us yeah it changed everything it changed the entire did you just have one of the you know last night they brought me up to

Wu-Tang on stage last night you went to Wu-Tang on stage last night. You went to Wu-Tang? No, they brought me out. I did... I was on set. I did a set last night and they brought the... What song?

The sound guy brought me out. Bring the motherfucking breakfast. No, that would have been great, though. No, it was Cream. But I was like... I came out and I go, damn, who the fuck doesn't like Wu-Tang? And I said, I'm being serious. Raise your hand if you don't like Wu-Tang. There's 400 people. No, not one. And I go, isn, who the fuck doesn't like Wu-Tang? And I said, I'm being serious. Raise your hand if you don't like Wu-Tang.

There's 400 people. No, not one. And I go, isn't that crazy, though? I don't give a shit what kind of music these people like. Everybody likes Wu-Tang. And then I said, but watch this. Someone will like another person's band that is globally recognized as a great band, but people will hate it. And I was trying to think of one.

And all I could come up with at the time, I said, okay, who hates Smashing Pumpkins? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And a bunch of people raised their hand. And I said, who loves Smashing Pumpkins? And they're about to be, I said, why do you hate it, why do you like it? But this is what's powerful about them. My dad thinks Wu-Tang is good,

and he fucking hates rap music. It's so, it was so, to me, it was so raw, and I was like, oh my God, how are the, it sounds like it's recorded in a bedroom, and everyone's raw and I was like, oh my God, how are the, it sounds like it was recorded in a bedroom and everyone's, for me it meant, it just meant so much and the production was so good. When I was a kid and there was one Jewish guy in the extended family, Remedy, he was a rapper.

I remember that guy, he did a song about the Holocaust. Yeah, Never Again. Yeah, Never Again, Never Again. I was very obsessed with Wu-Tang. Never Again, shall we weep Again. I remember that song. Oh, wow. You were really into it. Tuve neme machem

yel ma'om blad dashed in the mud. I remember that shit. You were really into Wu-Tang. I actually liked that song. Yeah, it was actually a good song. It was a very good song. It was actually good.

I remember when it came out, too. As someone that grew up not liking Jewish people, I really liked that song. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's so insane. Keep it, Joe. No, he will.

What do you mean, keep it? That's going to be a promo clip we're going to use. Yeah, that's going to be a promo clip. No, I really loved that song. It's so insane. Keep it, Joe. No, he will. What do you mean, keep it? That's going to be a promo clip we're going to use. Yeah, that's going to be a promo clip. No, I really love that song. Never Again was phenomenal. Yeah. Never Again Should We March With Our Sons and Daughters. Did you meet Matt Method ever or no?

I don't think I've met him. Did you watch How High when you were a kid? Loved. Oh, my God. So good. So good. The guy who played I Need Money. Do you remember I Need Money

His name was Al Shear He's one of the first jobs I ever had in Hollywood Me and Ian Edwards Wrote a Comedy Central pilot For that guy For I Need Money Al Shear

You got a cool thing over here Who made this thing This guy named Ted Muntz He makes these Hand makes that through Is that a gift Yeah he's like a member Of our community

I don't even know How to say that But he makes These tiles for a lot of podcasts A lot of comedy podcast shows Ted M Yeah, he's like a member of our community. I don't even know how to say that, but he makes these tiles for a lot of podcasts, a lot of comedy podcast shows. Ted Monti's the man. What do you mean community? Oh, the comedy community. The comedy podcast community. Who made that thing? That wasn't good enough to be on screen? No, that used to be behind me in the old days.

I switched it out. This one's just better. Well, no, we'll get a new one. We'll get a new one, and it'll all keep changing as time goes on. What's that thing for? That was the original poster in the old first studio and everybody signed it. Oh, you got Zach Fox on there.

Half of the people up there are dead. I'm going to need you to sign that afterwards in case. In case I die? You could sell that thing for a lot of money. I'm going to frame that one day. I'm going to probably keep it in my office. When you're 45 and you move? Yeah. You know what else I have I have the backdrop from the first special I ever shot that big Chicago bear and it's in my garage folded up and I always thought what would I do

with this I don't know what I'll ever do with it but something maybe make a now when you move how will you do the podcast or you're done you'll be done in five years yeah I'll be dead yeah I'll be dead when I say five years moving I mean I'll be moving my body out of Los. You'll be done. In five years? Yeah. I'll be dead. Yeah, yeah. I'll be dead. When I say five years moving, I mean they'll be moving my body out of Los Angeles. I'll be dead. Yeah, yeah. I'll be...

Do you want to be cremated? No. I want to cremate you. You want to cremate me? Is that a sensitive topic, being Jewish, being cremated? Is that a tough thing to say? Oh, I don't know.

I just don't want to be cremated. My mom always goes, my mom said she won't be an organ donor because she's like, what if I need these for my next life? Good God. That's terrible. Isn't that crazy? That's insane. Are you an organ donor because she's like, what if I need these for my next life? Good God, that's terrible.

Isn't that crazy? Are you an organ donor? Yeah, of course I am. What the fuck am I going to do with these? For my next life? This is it. You only get one. Is Bobby an organ donor? You couldn't use them, I don't think.

They're probably all broken. So you want to be buried. How close do you live to Bobby? Do you have tattoos? No. You could be buried then, huh? Do you have tattoos? No, no, no. So you want to be buried. How close do you live to Bobby? Do you have tattoos? No. No, no, I'm perfect. You could be buried then, huh? Do you have tattoos?

No, no, no. Why not? What would I do with them? You have tattoos? Yeah, you got it. What? They say that first one's so stressful. Dog got a bark.

You know? Wow. I thought about getting a tattoo. What'd you want? Probably the words words slow down. Slow down. Wear a forehead? Yeah.

No, I want to do Amanda Bynes. I want a heart right on my cheek. Has she been on the podcast? Yes. She has? No. Why not? Can't really lock her down.

Who's someone you're like, yo, I got to get this? I've had so many wonderful people on the show. No, no, that you want on. I've had people that I want on. I don't know. There's nobody that I would like be like. There's good friends of mine who I know would never do the show because they don't want to do podcasts, but I'd love to have them on. There's guys that just.

You got to have Cat Williams. Nah, he wouldn't do it. He just did Rogan. Yeah. He's so famous and he hates everybody. He's so good. He's hilarious. Yeah. He everybody he's so good he's hilarious yeah he likes to talk yeah he's one of the funniest comedians ever yeah personality more

than standard yeah but he had a few that were so good he did but i just don't revere him as like my top stand-up like who's your top guys of all time yeah carlin yeah carlin's carlin carlin's carlin's top three for sure yeah he was a poet um i would say i mean eddie when i was a kid obviously it's been a long time of course chapelle is obviously up there although dave's in the more recent years is just different now he's more he's more like prophetic which i'd rather have be more dave but i get it it's a transition rock had probably some of the greatest stand-up specials ever of all time i mean bigger and blacker is like yeah on unequivocally one of the greatest stand-up specials ever written front to back um billy burr mr bill burr yeah um and uh and i think last on that list would probably be like...

You a Louis fan? Yeah, Louis. Yeah, I love Louis. Yeah, Louis. I don't know why I forgot about Louis. Yeah, Louis, and then maybe... But you're not supposed to say you like him anymore, right? No, of course you can.

What do you mean? You can say you like him. He's a great comic. Yeah. Yeah, Louis. I think Louis probably would be my top, top, top. But also, you know,

Hannah Gadsby. What? I didn't say anything. I didn't either. Why is he smiling so much? Mitch Hedberg. Mitch Hedberg. He knows my favorites. Yeah, why didn't say anything. I didn't either. Why is he smiling so much? Mitch Hedberg. Mitch Hedberg. Oh. He knows my favorites.

Yeah, why didn't you say Mitch Hedberg? He's dead. Because then I can go to the... Unless you can't say someone who's dead. Well, the dead guys who didn't get their flowers. Because then I would bring up names that you don't know. Greg Giraldo. I don't know who that is.

Yeah, exactly. Then I would get into these deep worlds of guys who I think... Who? Chris O'Neal. I don't know who that is. Yeah, exactly. Then I would get into these deep worlds of guys who I think. Who? Patrice O'Neal. I don't know who that is. He's Shaquille O'Neal's brother. Are they good? Patrice was a god. Oh, wow.

To us, he was a god. I got to look up. Are you like you want to be a comedian? No. I do filmmaking stuff, but I've just always been a really big fan of Stan. Oh, okay, okay. You like his shit or no, he sucks? Not a fan. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Same. Oh, okay, okay. You like his shit or no, he sucks? Not a fan.

Yeah, yeah. Same. Yeah, yeah, I get it. No, it's funny now. Laugh now, cry later when you're broke. Are you going to fire him? No, man, I've taken care of this kid so much, I've given him the world.

You want to talk about being a softie? I literally gave this kid life. How much money did you have in your bank account when I met you, for real? Be honest. I think 23 cents. How much do you have now? And I wrote you a in your bank account when I met you? For real, be honest. I think 23 cents. How much do you have now? What did I write you a check for that day?

That day, because I was getting paid for the whole tour, was $11,000. You piece of shit. What are you talking about? I wrote this guy a check. I revived his life. He was going broke. And he almost cried in the hotel room and said,

this is the most money I've ever had in my entire life. And I said, well, let's keep getting you money. And then I got him more work and more jobs and now he's successful and things are good.

How's it feel? Now you got two coffees. Does anyone ever see your face? Yeah. We put him on Bad Friends. We put him in the background. We don't want him on this show. In the background?

Yeah, he's in the producer's booth. You look great. I would put you on the front of the show? Yeah he's in the producer's booth You look great I would put you on the front of the show You can hire him too if you'd like Nah I don't like him Exactly You don't like him that much

You want me to take him? No I really do like the kid I don't know why but I like him He keeps fucking up Is he your only guy? No we've got a team of people But he's like my younger brother He's like my responsibility

Bobby hates him Why does Bobby hate you? Because we're so close. I technically knew Bobby first, but then when we were on tour, me and Andrew got pretty close pretty fast. I'm the one that hired him to come on the tour, so Bobby just resents him a little bit.

Does Bobby put in the work to be your friend? Bobby's a big one. Yeah. Talk about plug your book before I kick you out of my fucking studio Open wide You don't even know the name I just said open wide

You said open Open wide Yeah Which is a euphemism of course God you're such a fucking piece of shit That was so good Yeah Open wide

Open wide Open wide is your book Open wide is my book When's this air Wide is my book. When's this air? When my book's out? Yeah. I don't fucking know, man.

My book's out, maybe. It's probably out. Go get Open Wide. Available everywhere. Is there a Brookstone near you? A Brookstone? Yeah, a Brookstone where you get the massage chairs. Don't they sell your book there?

No. Oh, really? You remember Brookstone? You remember the massagers they used to sell? I used to love that store. They were just vibrators. Go pick up Open Wide. Go pick up Open Wide. It's available now at Blockbuster Video as well.

Where else are you guys putting it in? Blockbuster. At Spencer's Gifts? Yeah. Wherever bullshit is sold, you can buy this stupid fucking book. It's on Amazon. It's got to be at Barnes & Noble. Yeah, yeah.

If you still have one of those. Are you doing a book signing? I am. Where? I'm doing all of them. Are you doing everywhere? Yeah, everywhere. Oh, that's got to be at Barnes & Noble. Yeah, yeah. If you still have one of those. Are you doing a book signing? I am. Where? I'm doing all of them. Are you doing everywhere? Yeah, everywhere. Oh, that's good.

I'm doing a whole book tour. You should go buy the book. He's a creative- No, it's great. He's a creative little wild- What? You don't even have anything. Freak.

Freak? Yeah, you're a freak. I'm a freak? Are you not a freak? If I looked up freak in Webster, it'd be you. No, if you looked up hot guy, it would be me. Hot guy would be Brad Pitt. Freak would be you.

You do understand the difference. Yeah. It's huge. I mean, it's not even close. Brad Pitt's so hot. Yeah, what the fuck are we talking about? He's so hot. If it was our three floating heads, Brad Pitt's number one for sure.

They don't see us. It's gone. Yeah, yeah. It's Brad and then two guys. That's why you hang out with Bobby. Because don't see us. It's gone. Yeah, yeah. It's Brad and then two guys. That's why you hang out with Bobby. Because it makes me, it elevates me. Yeah, yeah, it elevates you. No, I hang out with Bobby because I think he's a comedic genius.

Yeah. I think he's one of my favorite, he matches, we match each other. We're polar opposites and we're perfect matches. What, he's funny and you're not? No, I'm very, very funny. I'm incredibly funny. So what's he, if you're polar opposites? We're polar opposites personality-wise.

I like golf. He likes eating and sleeping. Yeah. You know. Do you like to eat? Yeah. But like, do you like, are you like, is a meal such an important part of your day?

Are you like scarfing down a scone like you were, right, when I came in? It depends what meal. Breakfast is my favorite meal of the day. So you're eating a, you're scarfing down a scone? Well, because I had to do shit all morning, so I didn't have time. Are you good at golf? Yeah, very. What's your handicap?

My index is a 2.2. That doesn't mean anything to you unless you know golf. Do you know golf? I know golf. Oh, I'm a 2.2 index. Okay. Yeah, I'm very good. Wow. And that's like a one thing I, I wouldn't even say that if I stand up. I wouldn't even brag about stand up or anything. Were you always good you always good at golf or you got good? I got better.

I was always, um, athletic enough to be good at normally good at golf. I was probably like a 12 handicap when I first started playing golf. Oh, that's like when I first started trying. That's crazy. And now I'm like, uh, depending on where you play, like a three or four handicap. That's great. Yeah. Pretty good.

That's really, it's my favorite thing on earth. Do you play like, I'm thinking about it right now. How often? This whole interview, I've been thinking about it. I would too. Yeah. That's great. Yeah, pretty good. That's really good. It's my favorite thing on earth. Do you play like... I'm thinking about it right now. How often do you... This whole interview, I've been thinking about it. I would too. Yeah. Interviewing me.

I'm like feeling putts. What do you... Are you good at putting? Or is it you get the yips? No, no, no, no. No, my short game is my best game. My recovery game

is my best game. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, okay. Can you play golf? I could go out and like- Because Virginia, there's some good golf out there. My dad's a pretty good golfer. Yeah.

You grew up on a plantation, right? My dad's a pretty good golfer. Is he? How good? Like now he's- He's 70. My dad's almost 80. My dad's like 79.

Holy shit. I think his handicap now is probably like a 12, 13. But he can't hit it far anymore. Yeah, at that age, it's like you're lucky. You're just getting off the plane. Yeah, you just can't. I think in his prime,

he was probably like an eight or a nine. That's good. Yeah, something like that. Eight, nine. Most people never reach single digit. That's impressive. Yeah, maybe. I'm very lucky I've gotten

as good as I've been, but I also think it's... Yeah. Some things are out of your control. I play with other guys lucky I've gotten as good as I've been but I also think it's some things are out of your control I play with other guys that I think should be good but they just can't get it together

I've played a handful of times I'm like athletic so I can like you can do it I can do it like I played so like the first time

I played I did terrible on most holes but I got a par on one so I was like oh shit like my short games I've always been pretty good at putting. Like you go to

mini golf, go to anything, I'm pretty good at putting. We should go. I'd take you. I'd love to take you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll take you to a little spot. Was Bobby good? Does Bobby play golf? I don't know. She went on the thing with you. Oh, Bobby Althoff. I thought you were Bobby Lee. No, not that Bobby. No, Bobby didn't play golf. No. She didn't play? No. She just sat there while you played? She tried to swing a club

I think two or three times. It didn't work out. It didn't work out. It didn't play? She just sat there while you played? She tried to swing a club, I think, two or three times. It didn't work out. It didn't work out. It didn't work out. But you know what is going to work out? Me and you together after this. We'll do a session together. What do you think? Golf or sex?

Both. Yeah. What comes first? I did love, I do love when you play golf, you just get drunk and you eat, you smoke cigars, you eat like the delicious little food carts. Yeah, it's the best. Do you belong to a club? I don't.

What do you do? I do. You just wanted to sound like it. No, I don't. Where do you belong? One day. Where do you belong? It's called Shifty's.

It's up in the Burbank Mountains. What's that? Shifty's Club. Don't know. It's a nightclub, bar, also a golf course. Come on, dude. You don't play? You don't have a...

No. So what do you do? You just ask your friend? I just play. What do you mean you just play? You have to go to a golf course. Yeah, there's a million of them in LA. Oh, so you'll just get day passes.

Yeah, it's not skiing. Six slides. I get a day pass. No, so what do you do? You just go with friends who belong to a club and shit? You just go wherever. There's a lot of public courses that you can go to. Oh, you go to, okay, okay.

Muni's, baby. I don't know. I don't know anything about golf. No, I do play at a club. Oh, you do? I don't know. Who knows? We'll find out.

Go get the book. What's the club? Open Wide right now. Joe will take it out. It's available on Amazon. Tell me the club. It's available on, and by the way, while you're on Amazon buying Open Wide, please watch Ricky Stinicky.

That's my movie. Oh, yeah. You should watch. There's going to be book signings all over the country. For Ricky Stinicky? To find out where Benny will be signing a book, go to BennyBlancoIsAnnoying.com. Ricky Stinicky. What's your website?

You got a shitty website? I don't have a website. How do people know where their book signings are going to happen? Just shut up. You don't know? I don't know anything. Good plug. Go buy Open buy open wide it's worthless and it won't teach you anything but it'll support him buying his mom another compressor in six or seven years we end the show the same way yeah get her another fucking washing machine uh look at that camera right

there we say one word or one phrase to end the episode and you're single one word or one phrase to end the episode this one or that yeah the one that's pointed right at you, you fucking dummy. Okay. Wait, that's the Joe one. It's pointed right at you. Okay. One phrase? One word or one phrase.

You choose. Take your time. Don't rush. This is going to end the episode. This will be embedded in the Smithsonian one day. Also, kiss the mic more, sick guy. What a fucking lunatic. God damn it.

You got to go get that Lysol spray. No, no, no, you don't. No, you do. No, my one word of advice is for some reason you belong to a country club but you're scared to tell us because you think it doesn't make you seem approachable. No, it's one word or one phrase.

That was my phrase. Well, that's not a phrase. You cut me off. Okay, okay, one word or one phrase. That was my phrase. Well, that's not a phrase. You cut me off. Okay, one word or one phrase. Also, it's not a country club, by the way. I don't belong to a country club. Yes, you do. No, I don't belong to a country club. What do you belong to, then? It's called a golf course. Golf club.

Isn't that a country club? Totally different. Is it different? Yeah. One of them, he doesn't fucking know, this kid. He'd really tie his shoes. Why do you treat him so poorly? He's my best friend. Is he your best friend? He's my only friend.

No, Bobby's your friend. That's right. You have two friends. Wrap this up. One word or one phrase? Also, please go buy Open Wide. It's a great book. Go buy Open Wide.

That's my phrase. Go buy Open Wide. Is that my phrase? Do it again, clearly. Go ahead. Go buy Open Wide. It's a great book. Go buy Open Wide. That's my phrase. Go buy Open Wide. Is that my phrase? Do it again clearly. Go ahead. Go buy Open Wide. Now smile. That a boy.

No! In here, we pour whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey. You are that creature in the ginger beard. Sturdy and ginger. Like vampires, the ginger gene is a curse. Gingers are beautiful. You owe me $5 for the whiskey and $75 vampires the ginger gene is a curse gingers are beautiful you owe me five dollars for the whiskey and 75 dollars for the horse gingers are hell no this whiskey is excellent ginger i like gingers