Whiskey Ginger with Andrew Santino - Bill Burr

Episode Date: July 10, 2020

Santino sits down with Bill Burr to talk about the history of sports, the OCD of keeping a clean house like a maniac, the politicizing of the virus and the battle of not drinking and smoking for the rest of our lives. ORDER SOME MERCH!!! https://www.andrewsantinostore.com GO TO www.andrewsantino.com FOR ALL THINGS CHEETO Go to https://billburr.com for all things BURR SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS! RAYCON - Get the best earbuds at half the cost of overpriced headphone companies go to https://buyraycon.com/whiskey for 15% off!!! SHADY RAYS - Get amazing polarized sunglasses at a great price and if they get damaged or lost they'll replace for FREE go to https://shadyrays.com and enter promo code WHISKEY for 50% off two or more pairs 😎 Join our Patreon : https://www.patreon.com/whiskeygingerpodcast Follow Santino on Insta and Twitter: https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino/ https://twitter.com/CheetoSantino Whiskey Ginger Insta and Twitter: https://www.instagram.com/whiskeygingerpodcast/ & https://twitter.com/whiskeyginger_ EDITING AND PRODUCTION DESIGN BY THE AMAZING WHISKEY GINGER TEAM JENNA SUNDE https://www.instagram.com/jenna_sunday/ JOE FARIA https://www.instagram.com/joseph_faria Intro Music by Rocom: https://www.youtube.com/user/RocomTelevision Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What up, Whiskey Ginger fans? Welcome back to the show. If this is your first time joining us, like I say, welcome. Please like it, subscribe it, tell a friend, do whatever you got to do to spread the Whisk Ginge word. Very excited about the episode this week. One of my favorite humans in comedy. One of my inspirations, my idols, my comedic heroes. A dude who I look up to both on and off the stage. He's incredible. So I'm very happy to be in his presence and consider him a friend. So it's incredible for me. I hope you enjoy it.

As far as stand-up goes, what do you want me to say? I don't know, man. People aren't wearing their mask. What's the deal, dude? Wear your mask! Wear your mask! I'd like to tour.

AndrewSantino.com is where all the dates are, and we're trying to figure it out, man. We're trying our best. Also, AndrewSantino.com is where the Patreon is. That's where I do one-on-one solo episodes and Cheeto chats. If you're into that, check it out. It's super fun. It also helps with

those that organize this show. It's a little side project for all of us, and it helps the show stay as dope as it is. So go check out the Patreon. And most importantly, we got merch. We got that new merch, dude. Brand new merch drop, new stuff, new hats, new shirts, all sorts of stuff. And it's high quality. The reason I love this stuff, honestly, because this stuff just has a good vibe to it. It's super high quality. It's very clean. The designs and styles we're really proud of. And it's finally up now, which is so incredible for me because we had old merch out with the old, in with the new. And so we are happy

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we pour whisk whisk whisk whisk whisk you're that creature in the ginger beard sturdy and ginger like that Here we pour whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey. You're that creature in the ginger beard. Sturdy and ginger.

Like vampires, the ginger gene is a curse. Gingers are beautiful. You owe me $5 for the whiskey and $75 for the horse. Gingers are hell no. This whiskey is excellent. Ginger. I like gingers. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to Whiskey Ginger. My guest today is one of my favorite people on earth.

I say that for all my guests, but I mean it once again. It is Bill Burr. Bill, thanks for being here. What's going on? Nothing, man. Can we just address the obvious here? Who's kidding who? You are my replacement. The second I saw you walk into the comedy store with your full head of red hair

and a nice red beard, I'm like's it i'm done you know just keep me in mind someday when you storm the castle and you get your show i will pay i'll play the grandfather okay dad are you you just got to play uh you got to play uh uh pete's stepdad in the movie so you you're you're you're you're gonna be dad forever? Is that the new thing? You want to be a dad? That's why I've always been nice to younger comics because I'm playing the long game. I know you guys are taking over at some point

and I'm going to play the uncles and the dads and the grandfathers. Hopefully great grandfather if I live long enough. You will. When I first started, well, when I first moved to LA and I first started coming around the comedy store, you know, look, I've always been a fan of you.

I don't want to kiss you too much. I got some great shit jokes. You can say it. Yeah, you do. When I go bodily fluids. That's where you hit the hardest. I'm the Chris Rock of bodily fluids. And I would go down to the improv,

and I want to tell you this. Eddie used to say that you, that I reminded him of you just look wise. He's like, Oh, I'd see this orange face walk in. And he would go, I think it'd be Billy Burr at first. Then I'd see as you, and I'd be very disappointed because I don't like you as much as I like him. I was like, thanks Eddie. You're a great, uh, you're a great grump. Just get me a fucking whiskey. You old fart. No, he's a, he's a lovely man, but yeah, I'll take the, if I'm next in line to you, that's fine. I highly doubt it, but you're going to be around for a long, long time. You're never going

to quit comedy. It's never, it's not, you're not going anywhere. What are you talking about? You're never going to quit. I am, I am going to become a slumlord. Are you? My dream is to, to own apartment buildings that I can just live, that are paid off and I can just fucking sit in my bathrobe. And if I decide I want to go out and do my jokes at circus circus that weekend, I can do it. Dude,

you can't, you cannot fucking, I just, I don't trust this business. I've just been stolen from so many fucking times. You haven't audit people and all of that shit. It's just like, and this game does not give a fuck.

No, it doesn't give a fuck. It doesn't care about you. So you have to just man up and realize that I am not special. Right. I watched on jeopardy yesterday. The obvious answer was Richard Pryor and nobody knew it. But then there was something from the nineties that,

that all the contestants knew. And I'm like, that right there is why you cannot invest your happiness, all of your finances and everything in this fucking business. Because if you can be as great as that guy and then young people, I don't know who that guy is. You know? Yeah.

You're, you're cooked. Well, do you think I'm yeah i'm gonna buy some apartment buildings just have my money diversified that's all yeah just spread it out going maybe the train keeps going but if it doesn't you know right i got that old lady i can call up i want my money bitch or i'll redo your apartment and i'll move some youngsters in there. But Bill, you've been so nice to me. No more. Get the fuck out. That was on TV, Bill.

Truthfully, what you're saying is real though because at the end of anyone's career, you only remember people, especially posthumously, in the perfect light that you wanted to. I was talking to, why can't I think of his name? Chicago comic too. Been on the Tonight Show more than uh oh what's why can't i think of his name chicago comic too been on the tonight show more than any other comic what's why can't i think of

his name i'm drawing such a bad blank tom dreeson tom dreeson oh i was talking to dreeson and he said uh like people remember sinatra as this young this young beautiful image but you know the latter half of his singing career wasn't so beautiful. You know what I mean? It's like, it got, it got, it got bad when he was older, but you only remember people in this, in this perfect little light. So I don't ever want to get to the point when you're on the other side of it and people are like, oh yeah, I saw him at Circus Circus. It was fucking bad. Like, I don't want to get to that point. At that point, you're not on stage for them. Right. You're on stage for you because if you actually retire,

on stage for them. You're on stage for you because if you actually retire, if you just like retire, I could not get it out of my head that I am just waiting to die now. The thing about working yourself to death is that, you know, you're just going, going, going, and then you fucking drop. The genius people are the people that make a decent living and vacation on a lake. Those are the people that are smart. I've been watching Ozark, right? I was going to say, it sounds like it. Yeah. You're going to retire down there?

Vacationing on a lake is the way. If you can get past the racism, you know. Yeah. Your choices are basically this. You can go to a Caribbean island and listen to wokeness and possibly have you know uh your your drink drugged right or you go to a lake and you got to listen to people defend the confederate flag now i'm painting with the broad brush all right but what i'm saying is there's nothing wrong with the fucking lake. That's what I've

realized. A lake vacation. You can take a longer vacation. You can get there quicker. You can keep your fucking money. All right. You don't have to deal with hipsters, even though they're still going to be selling hipster beer. People would actually be drinking it non-ironically. They'll actually like it. Yeah. Yes. You're basically pitching me right now. You bought Lakefront property and you're looking to get me in there to rent, right? Is this Airbnb? No, no, no. No, not at all. I just want, I was just like the, I think somewhere around MTV Cribs and then all these real estate shows, they introduced people to an incredibly stupid lifestyle right that nobody needs to be living and then all the celebrities who got on mtv cribs then had to top

each other's houses so then they had everything all fucking bedazzled and then people thought that that that was wealth right um yeah and the reality is is you you know especially during this pandemic he can live like i was joking with a buddy of mine the other day he actually texted me dave kushner he does some music for uh f is for family he goes you know what's funny he goes i realized that i only really wear three shirts and i said to him that's what happens on vacation too the rescue wardrobe i think is for your close friends so you don't bore them. They'll still want to hang out with you. So everybody's like, what do you think of this?

There's this little number. But in reality, you don't need all of this shit. So what I found is the combination of being married and the existence of Amazon is the ability of somebody to just sit there and click and fill up a fucking house that you have no business filling up. So like I've drawn the gauntlet. I was like, this is the death house. We're dying here. So if you want to be the cat lady with the boxes up to the fucking ceiling, like we have, like we definitely have like there's a, I mean, I love it to death you always

got to say that because the way people fucking start inferring shit right right just doing this for a comedic thing here uh i am into negative space if that's the right world i i like open shit i like lessening the percentage of me possibly stubbing my toe when i walk to the bathroom to take a leak she's of the other the other side right more shit the better well i my my shit behind doors drives me up the fucking wall having to move shit to open something drives me up the fucking wall or shit in front of other shit right like we have this counter space we got this little thing where all the vitamins are and then all of a sudden she buys too much cereal now the cereal is in front of the the vitamins and i just come off like this fucking gestapo agent going how is this acceptable

i don't want to be like digging through fucking boxes like everything becomes like this little war right like i got this thing in my hand, I got to move this and then I got to open this with my fucking foot or it could just be a nice clear path. Were you, was your, like we share, look, we share almost too much in common. Sometimes I feel like it's gonna,

it sounds like I'm placating, but my dad was a military kid. So my house was spotless and we got yelled at constantly for shit being everywhere. So me to my wife. Your dad sounds like a great man. He is. But me to my wife, I've taken some of those qualities that I know are annoying.

Like I'm such an annoying. You're not annoying. You're right. Well, not to her. Watch somebody scuba dive through all that shit we've thrown in the fucking ocean. You're right. Shoes by the door. That's how lame I am.

I don't like too many pairs of shoes by the door. It's OCD. When there's too many shoes, my dad used to be like, why are shoes by the door? Which pair are you going to wear? And I'd go, well, that one right there. And he goes, so the other ones are there to keep it company because they can just go back in the fucking closet where they belong. So it's like that rhetoric that was in my head that now I am using in my house.

Leave, follow, or get out of the way, applied to shoes. I love you, Dad. I haven't even met the guy. I love him. That's exactly right. It isn't. And it isn't. And then you get called anal and OCD.

It's like, no, no, no, no, no, no. You're blaming the victim here. The other person is fucking lazy. And they're a slob. And they don't know where anything is, which is real. I'm a combination of both. I never know where my fucking phone is and I don't know where some important documents are. But during this pandemic, I've slowly worked my way through all of my shit and now I kind of know where everything is. But it's got to be even harder because you're a papa now two times over. So

anytime any friend of mine has a kid, it's like your house exponentially gets way more shit, even shit that you'll never use. It's just kid stuff begins to just take place in your house. So now that's got to be- Oh, you know what worked out for us was a number of couples. It becomes contagious. When you get married around the same time as another person, they have a kid, then you have a kid, then you have another kid, then they have a kid. Well, a number of our married friends with kids had a boy first and then had a girl. We had a girl and then had a boy. So we're doing like a clothes swap thing.

Right. Oh, that's loving. Right. Because that reminds me of how I grew up. I used to like look at my brother's clothes, my older brother, and just being like, oh, man I can't wait to get that shirt. Two years, baby. That shirt is mine. And it just went, it went right through the whole family. Yeah. You had like two, three pairs of pants. Like now I'm telling you, it's just like, I think because everybody is kind of a celebrity now, they have like their own little Instagram and shit yeah you have to like it's like

you're doing the red carpet you can't get caught wearing the same fucking shirt unless you own it right like i got dan katz over at fucking barstool where he always wears the same sport coat right fucking great yeah no that well i get shit people talk shit about me a lot because i you know you have the same complexion i wear three colors i usually I usually wear blue, black, or gray. I don't, and I usually wear only the same few shirts. And I noticed the other day as I'm drying shirts, they're all gray. They're all tones of gray. A lot of overcast. A lot of morning haze. Yeah. You'd be surprised what you can get away with. I bought into that for a while when I was growing up. You can't buy, you can't wear this. You can't wear that. We're not as limited as the pigment people tried to make us out to be.

Well, it's more my thing. But they are right. They are right. It's more my thing, though. I just, there's something about, I don't like, I think it's just growing up getting, when my mom would put me in like a yellow shirt and I would get just shitted on.

And it was just like, I don't ever want to wear. It's a coward color man you you have to have at least mediterranean that beautiful olive skin you gotta have at least that yeah to get away with yellow yeah well look okay or if you dress it up you know if you're like some uh english gentleman you got the whole fucking the pocket square and all that you can have the yellow shirt underneath but you can can't just, you just can't go full yellow shirt, short sleeve, freckled orange arms sticking out of it. Yeah. You got to get a baby.

She did me hard. I mean, she, she would, I think sometimes my mom would fuck with me on purpose. She made me be Peter, Peter pumpkin eater one time for Halloween. She stitched the costume for me. And it was just like, I was just, it was ripe for me to get the shit beat out of me. Cause I was wearing a pumpkin and I'm already orange. And she made me more wear tights. Like I had to wear orange tights. I mean, it was- She made you even more orange. Yeah. It was fucking so embarrassing. And I bought into it. Like it was a good idea. I'm like, yeah,

I'll be a pumpkin. That's cool. And she hand sewed it for me. And I was, I was happy that she was going to make me a costume. That was really what it was about. But I think she used to do shit like that just to fuck with me. Cause she thought it was, I think she thought it was funny because my mom fucked me constantly. That was like, that's like her favorite thing to do was to shit on me. She used to, she would bring up photos of me as a kid in outfits she used to put me in and she'd laugh. And I was like, that's why is that funny? And she's like, you look so stupid in those blue pants, they're bright blue pants. And I would just wear, you know, as a young, young kid, you wear whatever your mom buys you begrudgingly. And she got a kick out of it. I was like, she's evil, man. This is her fucking with me. That's all it was. Just her like messing with me because I think she got messed with,

my mom's one of 10 kids. So all the brothers and sisters over there, all they did was berate and belittle each other. It was part of this Irish, you know, that's all you do is mock each other. And that's how you gain any sort of weight in the brother-sister system. It's like, who could shit on each other the best? Yeah, get it off of you and put it on the other person. Well, I mean, after a while, you just learn that your parents would just hurt kids that had kids. And then you just go, your parents were just hurt kids that had kids. Right. And then you just go,

Oh, all right. Hey, you know, as long as you tried to fucking do a better job, you know, I think you're, I don't know.

How many, how many brothers and sisters do you have? Um, I don't know. I got a lot. You got a bunch. Does, does your family love the show?

Like, is your family super happy? I don't know that any of a lot. You got a bunch. Does your family love the show? Is your family super happy about the show? I don't know that any of them have watched it. Really? Shut up. I think they've watched it. Dude, I come from a great, this weird dynamic where we are a loving family, but all loners and just do our own thing. We just do our own thing.

And everybody's like really successful at what they do and it's all completely different. Right. And so, yeah. But you're not sure. My parents haven't watched it because they can't figure out how to get on Netflix and I'm not going to try to explain it to them. Right.

All right. And, but I mean, when they, if they watch the show, they wouldn't be like mortified, like, Oh my God, that is us. Cause it isn't right. It isn't, especially like Sue is nothing like my mother and Frank is more me than my dad. That's what I also an amalgam of everybody else. Cause I didn't want to put everybody's shit out there, but's be an asshole thing to do yes you know and then also i i think

something that i would regret where it was just like my perspective of my childhood is what happened and only i get to say you know right right there's an obviously a difference between what actually happened in your account of what happened and if you even if you uh stick some of characters in there from real life, it doesn't do it any justice because they don't get to tell their side of it. So it's like, well, that's one little baby angle that you have. Right, which is what goes on on the internet is everybody is just fucking looking out their own head. And your experience is so much more vivid than what's actually happening. Like say that the circles like this and you're a little sliver, you're coming, you're looking at the fucking the stone from this way. That is truth. Everything else is fucking bullshit. can figure out that someone else is on a different part of the circle how are they looking at it and to get out of your own bullshit and be like okay what this person's saying has some validity right it's also biased because it's 100 their experience i'm not saying just fucking lay down for the other

person but you really have to have i believe that's called some form of empathy, which is completely what is fucking lacking on the Internet and on news. It's why I don't watch the news. My wife had on CNN this morning and I almost blew a gasket like five minutes in where they were shitting on Trump for politicizing COVID while they from from the get-go, politicized it. From the get-go, no matter when he started to warn us, no matter what he did, it wouldn't have been soon enough. And he might have fucked up. I don't know what, but there's no fucking way CNN wasn't going to say that he fucked up. So immediately they drew this fucking line. Immediately people on the right are going like, oh, this is the next thing that they're going to try to use to get this guy the fuck out of there. And then it became Hatfields McCoy's. And then that's why you now

have the mask wearer versus the non-mask wearer. I wear a mask. Oh, you voted for Hillary. I don't wear a mask. You vote, you're for fucking Trump. And it's just, and then meanwhile, you have scientists in the fucking middle who we should be listening to, not these fucking idiots. Right. Who are borderline un-American and treasonous the way that they divide people for their ratings to get their fucking money through advertising and all that. It is absolutely like. It's it's I don't even know. it's it's i don't even i can't even the fucking words well you know and make nebraska mad at caroline uh california who's fucking mad at georgia who's pissed at new york like you watch

this shit now how um covid cases have gone down in new york down below a thousand and florida is up five up five thousand now you watch how the left is going to be condescending. Oh, that's because we're a smarter city. You know, and our fucking pubes are fucking blue. You know what I mean? They're going to fucking do that shit. And all they're going to do is piss people off in Florida and make them more fucking defiant

because everybody's looking at the marble from where they're fucking sitting at it. And they think that, you know, and then they're getting fed a bunch of lies yeah all these soy boys who want your fucking kids to transition and all this this horse shit yeah well do you know and then meanwhile in the middle are all these fucking mom and pop places that you're just going to slowly watch go out of fucking business because everybody is, is fucking worried about red ties and blue ties. It's the dumbest fucking thing. Um, I just wish both of those, those news channels, I just wish everybody would just walk away. They lose all their ratings and they just go away. And you go back to a bunch of different points of view.

Right. And you know, there's a reason why media view right and you know there's a reason why media used to be regulated there's a reason why fucking banks used to be regulated there's a fucking reason for that right and now they're not and and this is this is the uh this is the result this is the outcome do you know you know what the term schadenfreude is you know what that is right you've heard of schadenfreude mostly german yes but this is but this is i talked to a friend about it the other day it's like um schadenfreude seems like a you know like a hyperbolized concept that you're like oh can society really collapse because of their selfishness over other people's and their and their indulgence in other people's losses or uh defamity or or negative uh talk and truthfully that's what it feels like it does kind

of i'm not saying there's the collapse of society but it does feel like people are getting off more than ever on other people's i told you so it's like that's become this huge stroking contest who can i told you so the most i told you it was gonna go up i told you it's like become this it i feel people feel so indignant now to prove that you were uh what they thought or or or whatever and it makes them feel so heroic just to shit on other people and watch other people burn it's a fucking bummer it's become a weird bummer and no one wins that's what the whole that's i know i know and then the sad thing is is that there's great people in every state there's great conservative people there's great liberal people there's just a lot of great fucking people out there and it's not like and i actually think that i i know a little

bit of what i'm talking about because i've traveled the country for almost 30 fucking years yeah so and when i watch cnn fox i can't relate to what they're talking about i'm like this is not what's going on out there you are just showing a pile of people jumping up and down with signs screaming and fucking yelling that is such a small percentage yeah of of where people are at and it's just like you're either jumping up and down with the signs or you're the people trying to stop the people with signs it's like or you're kind of trying to stop the people with signs. It's like, or you kind of listen to both sides. You're trying to like, okay, the sign people made sense on that one. Authority made sense on that one. And you can, you could, you could do that.

Like to fucking sit there and say one side is always right. The other side is always wrong. Crazy. Yeah. When there's human beings involved who are just incredibly fucking flawed or maybe I'm just superimposing how fucked up I am onto everybody else. Maybe there are those perfect people out there. I don't know. No, no, of course not. I've said that forever. I, you know, people, people assume. I said it first, Andrew. No, I said it before. Don't try to replace me while I'm on the podcast. I said it before you, Bill. That's it for Bill. Bill's done. He's out of comedy.

No, I've said so many times people get mad at me. They're like, oh, what did you probably fucking voted for Trump? It's like, I'm never going to tell you who I voted for. It's none of your fucking business. But I have a huge issue with a two party system inherently because I don't, I don't really enjoy how either party handles anything anymore. And the older I get, the more I embed myself in trying to learn about politics. And the more I do, the more disappointed I am that I'm like, oh, fucking, I don't, you know, like my wife said today on her driver's license, she was like, hey, did you, when you register for a driver's license, you can associate your mail-in ballot party. You know, you can register for what party you want. And I didn't. I was like,

no, I'd rather not register with a party because I don't want rhetoric thrown at me just from one side. Well, that'll get you junk mail. Yeah, you're going to get junk mail. I'd rather just hear a lot of things and figure it out on my fucking own instead of just going we have this this is how it has to be i've never felt that way and maybe that's because both of my parents i don't care who wins i just want sanity i want sanity back good fucking luck you think that's gonna happen that's we're fucked we're we're so beyond any sort of calm but i don't think most people are like these idiots you're seeing on tv i just don't think that it's like i watch sports yeah okay i would never call in a sports talk show never and when i listen to these fucking lunatics some because they're idiots and others because it's like oh my god you i thought i had no life with this shit how do you even know these stats and people who don't listen to sports as a casual

whatever going through if they listen to that if their idea of what a sports fan is is the fucking lunatics that call in the show like i don't think that's i don't think that's accurate as far as my experience right all these ballparks sitting in the bleachers, drinking beers with all these different fans around the country. And I feel the same way when I watch the news. Yeah. It's like people who watch the news and shit, but lunatics who actually get on and become guests and shit like that. There's,

there's something like they, they went in, they got like neck deep, but now they're going under and they stopped sounding. Sane's probably too big a word. They just, you always got to be able to be swayed a little bit, especially in a fucking relationship. At some point, if your wife makes a good point, you got to be like,

all right, you got me on that. You got me on it. I got it. And you know, because if you don't and you fight him every time then they just they the bill builds resentment they're just like anytime i come at you you're going to be foaming at the mouth but if you actually say hey that's a good point i'll work on that then the time when you do push back they'll actually listen like well all right this must mean something to him right that's the fucking theory no it's it's correct it's correct. I think what you're right is where we get to see when we travel the country,

we get to see so many different kinds of people. And it is true. I forgot what hat I was wearing, but I go and collect hats when I go to ball games. And my favorite thing is to go to a game alone. And I usually just sit next to people and start talking to them. Oh my God, you are my replacement. Do that is it why is that do you do that do you like to do that and i do i did that in every fucking i have somewhere in one of my hard drives around here i'm gonna find them i have a picture of myself in front of every major league ballpark by myself with a stranger holding the camera i'd be like hey can you take a picture of me? In front of the Kingdome, the Astrodome, the Superdome, all of the domes. Did you hit every park in the United States?

I've been to a home game of every professional sports team except for three hockey teams. I've only not been to three parks. And New Yankee Stadium is one of them because I just haven't gotten back to to new york for new yankee stadium but i went i used to go is great and it's awful all at the same time it just looks like it's i don't know the old one i love that they put that that the facade uh back around the ballpark yeah because i always thought it was a mistake when they put it out the other one but the other one became iconic reg Reggie Jackson made that iconic in, was it 77 or 78, when he hit the three home runs in one game? But I loved old Yankee Stadium because that's actually the one where Babe Ruth played,

even though it was like new old Yankee Stadium because they redid it in the 70s. But the new one, they got a little, they brought enough of the old back that i loved spent the outside and and like i said that that old school facade going around the infield out to the outfield but then they did dumb shit where they had like a chef behind glass carving steaks yeah yeah and then they made the seats way down below so fucking expensive that even during playoff games, they're like empty because it's just, you know, celebrities and shit with hookups below, you know, just gorging themselves with food and not giving a fuck about the game. And as much as I, you know, hated the Yankees, like there was nothing like the sound

of old Yankee stadium in October when I don't know what it is like MLB puts more microphones there. Yeah. And I used to just get like fucking goosebumps. And I, I, it was the weirdest thing where I moved to New York and I was there for so long. I watched so many Yankee games rooting against them that that i i started to know that ballpark the way i knew fenway and then meanwhile fenway was getting totally redone especially out in right field i don't even know what the fuck that is i get lost when i go out there there's like a mall out there or some shit right that i actually started to know you know that's the old one.

The new one, now that they have the new one, I don't know shit about that one. I just went in there, and I thought it was beautiful, and the sight lines were great, but then there was just too many reminders of how much money they had, which I thought was tacky, and I really thought they kind of did what the Lakers did, where the Lakers priced out their old school fucking, you know, I remember when Kareem got traded to the Lakers. They pushed that guy all the fuck way up. It's like three layers of luxury boxes.

They're all the way up there. If you get up there, you'll meet some fun Laker fans. Yeah. You know? Yeah. Once again, as a celtic fan right i mean that's my our big rivalry but if you if you're down below it's just you know i i don't know what it's corporate it's celebrities and all of that fucking shit so it's just the price points change

so much because they they invest so much in these new fucking monstrosities when you fly back into la you can see the new football stadium and it's supposed to be a technological fucking spaceship. I mean, it's so futuristic. It looks amazing. Yeah. It does look incredible, but like they're going to have to supplement that with higher ticket prices, with state carving behind fucking glass. It's like, that's become the future that I've somewhat accepted as a Chicago kid. You know, they, for years we said they were going to knock down Wrigley or build Wrigley somewhere else. And I'm so happy that they didn't. I know they have a lot of complaints. They can't.

Yeah. They can't. It's like what I always heard Ebbets Field was like, where the ballpark used to be a part of the neighborhood. Yeah. Now it's like this off on its own giant mall looking thing. Right. off on its own giant mall looking thing.

Right. Where, you know, I actually watched game seven of like the 1952 World Series. I've been watching all this old sports where it was like, I think it was 52, like Mickey Mantle was a rookie. Oh, wow. And he comes up left, bats left-handed, hits a home run to tie it. Two innings later, gets up right-handed, hits a single, drives in a run,

and the guy said, magnificent Mickey, the 20-year-old rookie. And at that point, it was just like, oh, yeah, good luck, buddy, filling Joe DiMaggio's shoes. I watched the 1964 NFL title game with the Browns beat Don Shula's Colts. He took two big fucking losses. And I think he was gone by Super Bowl V when the Colts finally won. So that deal where he finally fucking won it in 72. Yeah.

And they went undefeated. And he also played on the Browns in 52 and 53, back-to-back years when they lost to the Lions. And then his career was over. So as much as the Browns went to the title game every year from 1946 to 1956, the first four years were in a different league. Like Otto Graham was the first Tom Brady. Do you think anyone will ever associate that, to think that he was as good? As as being a winner and luke rosa was the first adam vinatieri because what was great was the nfl called the uh what was the all-american football conference they called it a mickey mouse league and paul brown who if you read anything about

paul brown that is bill belichick's guy right the whole way he ran it the whole way he fucking did it that's bill belichick's guy all fucking day long and he's the guy who he's the guy who basically discovered that the kicking game is important and then lou grows up being such a great fucking kicker and was accurate from 40 to 50 yards when the goal the fucking goal post was right on the goal line right in the end you got to the 42 yard line this guy could fucking hit hit one right so um when they joined the nfl in 1950 they were like uh they were laughing oh this is fucking bull we're just gonna steamroll the 49ers the colts and the browns they're the ones who came over i think the yankees did too and um the fucking they came in the first year

and they won they won the they beat the um the fuck did they beat from the mickey mouse league i think they beat they maybe beat the eagles or they beat the rams i think they beat the rams or they beat the eagles i forget but they they it was it was like watching martin day football where they were down with a minute 48 left and auto gram two minute offense like brady drives him right down and then lou groza kicks it with no time left to fucking beat him. And the Browns fans actually argued from back then that that's why the NFL doesn't call, they call that 1958 game the greatest game ever, as opposed to 1950, because that was the new Colts, the NFL Colts, because the first one folded, versus the Giants. So it was NFL teams. This

is the one that put it on the map. They didn't want to admit that some fucking team from like the XFL came in and fucking kicked the shit out of their champion. It's really interesting. And how much, you know, like the Bears were the 1940s while the Browns were doing something. And then in the 50s, it was the Browns and the Lions. And then the 60s was the Packers. And then they just started the all, they talk about NFL films on seems to be Super Bowl one and on. So all of those great teams just went away in everything that they did. And it doesn't make any sense to me

where they act like the Eagles won their first fucking title when they beat the Patriots. It's like, no, they won in 48, 49. They won in 60. I don't know if they won before that, but they won the fucking thing if you're gonna count babe ruth's titles in the 1920s why can't people in philly count those

nfl titles i don't get that well didn't the nba do the same thing with the abas if like they didn't want they didn't want to like the nba wants to stay oh they didn't they didn't they absorbed the ab8s teams and the celtics championships and the min the Minneapolis Lakers and the St. Louis Hawks. All those championships still counted. They counted, but people don't really reference them, do they? There's a difference between referencing and counting. Because referencing is like people don't reference Richard Pryor now, evidently, on Jeopardy. They don't know who the fuck he is.

It doesn't diminish what the guy did. Sure, sure, sure. Still the greatest fucking comedian of all time. Babe Ruth is still fucking Babe Ruth. You know, just because young people don't know who he is, they still did. But what I'm saying is the NFL literally doesn't even count them. Right.

And looks at the Steelers with six titles and the Patriots with six titles, like where the Celtics and Lakers, when reality, the Green Bay Packers, who've won four Super Bowls, yeah, four Super Bowls and like 11 NFL titles, are the Yankees, Celtics, Canadians, or whatever of the NFL. Do you think if they got rid of kicking, would you be pro that or you're against that? You still think kicking should always be in football? I love kicking.

You do? I love it. Oh, I opposite i'm the i don't think kicking should exist anymore i don't i mean especially coming from a city where we couldn't we can we we've had so much bad luck and good luck with kickers and it's never there's never an even balance like cody parky basically just blew an entire i think all of today's coaches so many of them grew up playing video games right so they kind of that's in them and then they also like uh because the so many rules were made jim ursae to fucking make the passing game jim ursae because he couldn't beat the fucking patriots jim ursae so many of those fucking rules and plus offense sells yeah that this shit that people do both in the fucking NBA now and in the NFL, that if you

did that, you'd be benched or you would lose your job as a coach. The amount of times you watch an NBA game and you'll see a seven footer just launch a three with nobody underneath and clang it. It would just, right there. I mean were you were on the bench i remember what i saw i saw alan iverson his rookie year at the old um where the clippers used to play what the fuck was that place called at the coliseum yeah no it wasn't the call it was right next to the coliseum i already forget the um uh it was a beautiful dump yeah one of bruce prinstein's favorite places to play by the way. He actually went out of his way to play there.

Bob Cousy played his last game there, beat the Lakers. A lot of fucking history there. All of those Bill Russell, Will Chamberlain, Laker fucking battles happened in that building. But I saw Allen Iverson there his rookie fucking year. Biggie Smalls in the crowd on that L la trip where he got he got whacked right and uh iverson was showing off to the celebrity crowd this is before he had the cornrows he had the afro right yeah he threw a fucking half court alley oop and he was just out of the game and

here's the deal nobody was there to watch the clippers so after like 10 minutes people start yelling hey where's iverson where's iverson I just remember this old white dude old fucking you know you know just little rooster fucking neck and shit he's like on that bench where he belongs and that was I feel like your younger generation is like you know all the things that you guys want to happen now happens. My generation, we yelled it from the upper deck, go for it, fake punt, all of that shit. And they would never do it. They would never fucking do it. That was super conservative, the draw play and all of that shit. And if somebody did like a fake punt, like I swear to God, your fucking team would do that like once every seven seasons,

it seemed like. Right. It seemed like a long time or go for it on fourth down. Why don't they fucking go for it? They never fucking go. They would never go for it, especially in your own end.

Yeah. And if you ever went for it on fourth down when I was growing up in football and you didn't fucking make it, you were on the hot seat. You better win the next week or you were selling your house and going back to fucking college ball. So, I think, I don't know, but I love the kicking game and the drama that it adds and the way it

extends the field. Well, if you got rid of the kicking game, you realize if somebody's on the 40-yard line, their threat, your 40, their threat to fucking score is still not that bad. Well, let me propose it to you. Let's say you do. So, so here's what you do when you score a touchdown. What I would say is instead of a kick for an extra point, you can do a 2.2 or three point conversion and you divide the points up by passing or throwing. I mean, or running, running is worth less, throwing is worth more, right? And you can put it at a different yardage point if you want. Why? Throwing is easier down there? I mean, I imagine throwing- Let me ask you this, just out of curiosity. I think red zone throwing is a little bit easier. Yeah. Especially if you can stack one side of a

ball, I think it's a little bit easier depending on what yard you're at. And then if it's on your side of the field- Wait, weren't you the quarterback for the Bengals for a couple years? You kind of look like that guy. Yes, I was. Here's my question that I have for all young sports fans, just out of curiosity. Sure. How many points is enough points for you guys to enjoy a fucking game? All of it. We want all of it.

Why? Let's get as many as we can. It's fun. What are you going to stop NBA from scoring a thousand points? Fucking put a five-point line in there. I don't care. I think it's more fun. The more points and the more scores is It's fun. What are you going to stop NBA from scoring a thousand points? Fucking put a five point line in there. I don't care. I think it's, it's more fun. The more points and the more scores is the more fun. It's an entertainment game. You know, in here we pour whiskey. Ooh, it's summer, summer, summer time. You know what time it is whiskey ginger fans. It's

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You want it to be. Yeah, that's what it's become. I used to like seeing competition. I used to like watching coaches have to try to outthink each other and strategize and all that but that's football you're not going to have that in any other game anymore it's not going to be in baseball yeah telling me there's no strategy in any game in the nba yes what all the way to chess no i think in pro sports i think it's complete it is more than not pure entertainment and it's not about uh look there's no dedication to teams or cities anymore nobody thinks that

that's hurt this sport at all 100 i do but i think that's that's where we are you're never going to go back there kevin garnett arguing two different things i'm asking if you want that not whether you can go back or not no i don't don't want it, but I've accepted it. I just, that is what it is. The game has now become- You just said you want more fucking points. As many points put a five point line. You're all over the fucking yard. No, I'm saying, if this is what it is, then let's fucking make it fun then. Then make it more- Oh, I misunderstood you. No, if this is going to be the way that it is, which it is, then fine. Let's have more fun.

Then make it more entertaining because it's never going to go the other way. I think baseball will always be a strategy game because you cannot manipulate that as much as you can basketball. I got to say this. This is going to be my me old man bitching. If I see one more stupid Instagram thing of a guy dunking with some savage rap music playing, like he just dunked on Kareem and there's nobody under the fucking rim because nobody's allowed to stand there for longer than two seconds yes it's not the fact that the defensive player can't stand dude back in the day to dunk you had to be a fucking man you had to go into the trees and they were going to beat the shit out of you

yes you're going to get a forearm to the fucking chest and get knocked down on the on your fucking ass yeah and there was going to be no call now it's rare now it's like i you you sense the person on defense going oh fuck am i going to be on instagram and they're like trying to run out of frame yeah well defense defense is also i want all you hoes to know. Boom, right? And people just act like they just – Yeah, but that's because these guys now, they pride themselves way more on offense anyway. There's only a handful of guys –

I don't give a fuck how you guys play the game. All I'm asking is that when you go to score the highlight film, put the right kind of music on there. What music do you want on there? You want Benny fucking Hill? Remember when they used to run away in fast motion on the Benny Hill show? Yes. You should have some guy on the other team slapping the guy's bald head as he runs out of the way so he doesn't get dunked on. his bald head as he runs out of the way so he doesn't get dunked on. Look, I'd rather the game be a tougher, stronger game. I mean, look, you probably watched The Last Dance. I grew up in Chicago in that era. I think the game's toughness back then was my favorite time in the NBA. My father won't even watch the NBA anymore because he doesn't like the way it's played anymore. He

doesn't enjoy it. And I miss it. But I just know you're never going to get back to that because this, this is where we are. I understand it in football. We're like, what was being done to receivers when they went over the middle insane from the seventies? Oh yeah. It was criminal fucking insane. I mean, in the seventies it was fucking criminal. They had a like cowboy collar, right? Couldn't you still, you could still there was a guy on the Raiders who his move was when you're away from the ball, he had like a cast on or whatever. And not even if he didn't have a cast, he would just wind up like a salt. He would just fucking slam you in this.

He did it to Lin Swan twice. Chuck Knoll said the guy should be in jail. And the fucking guy took Chuck K noel to court for slander because he and his defense was mel blount's doing it too and they lost because he was i think it was mel blount but they were doing it too what the fuck they used to do to them was insane was insane but if you went back to the 1950s you could hit a quarterback until the play was over right right you could keep there was sort of a thing there where it was like it was almost like hockey where it's like well if

you do that to our gretzky we're going to do it to yours so there was a level of respect it seems but you know every once in a while people took fucking liberties right it's really weird like if someone tackled you when you fell down and they weren't on top of you and touching you you could get back up and keep going it was fucking wild wild. There's some wild shit. Well, then you also hear those stories back in the day. They used to, in the scrums, they would poke each other in the eyes or they'd put stuff in their gloves. You know, people put, not icy hot, but something like that, you know, like the menthol and they put it on their fingers. So they put it in people's eyes. So it'd sting and burn your eyes and get your eyes all fucked up. And you heard about these like sneaky tactics all

the time. I know that's fucked up, but I think that's kind of fun. I don't, I don't want to. Guys used to put, when the head slap was legal. Yeah. Guys used to, when they tape up their hands, they put tacks, metal, metal. So your fucking head would ring. So your fucking head would ring. There was just all kinds of, all kinds of gamesmanship as it called, as it's called, unless it happens in new England. If it happens in new England,

it's cheating, but all this gamesmanship. Sure. Sure. The shit that they were doing. It's like, and I gotta be honest with you. I love gamesmanship.

Yeah. I love the cork bat. I love a pitcher with shit on his neck or on his fucking hat i fucking love dude gay lord perry used to come out there with like every condiment you could fucking think of in like seven different nationalities he had whatever you wanted right you could have dressed a burrito or a fucking hamburger with whatever that fucking guy had on his goddamn jersey and he and he threw a knuckleball right i love that shit well do you think do you think baseball still has a lot of that old school purity because

it still does have a lot of superstition in the game there's still that's why i think i wouldn't say after that astros red sauce whatever the fucking thing was going on there that was like degrees of murder first degree second degree second degree, manslaughter level, you know, from Apple watches to literally a camera. But I do agree with Alex Cora where the fact that he had to come out and be like, you know, I wasn't the only guy. I'm taking responsibility. But like, he's the Oswald. They're just walking him out. He's doing the perp walk like if you owned a baseball stadium okay and you got all those employees do you is there any world where when the ballpark is empty there's a guy drilling a hole into your center field wall and sticking a camera in there and nobody security nobody walking around like what the fuck are they doing over there but don't you love that drama i like i i gotta tell you i mean like i love what the ass i don't think it's cheating no i mean look because the red socks and yankees for a 10-year period just invade just eviscerated the bottom third of the league and fielded roided up free agent fucking teams right that won all of these fucking

championships there in houston they couldn't compete so they did what they had to do uh what about what about the roid era are you into that like the mcguire sosa era do you think that that were you cool with that or did you hate that shit i'm only cool with it if everybody comes clean and then you just have roided up stats for like i actually think barry bonds was a victim of the roids era how in that he was the guy and then all these other guys cheated and the next you know the president's calling fucking sosa and mcguire and then i just thought barry bonds was like all right here's me on roids there's 73. Then all of a sudden he was the biggest cunt ever. Right. And it's just like, he did it legit. And then everybody's looking

the other way with these fucking people. Just, I mean, it's comical. Yeah. But I, the only reason how big these fucking guys got, well, they got jokey big, but I still, I still stand by the fact. Anybody that's a baseball fan knows steroids will never help you hit a baseball they thought that that doesn't matter to help you no but what they do is they your body is first game of the year for the whole year great there's no breaking down of your body good they should all be that way because we break their bodies so quick so young anyway i mean fuck it okay all right well i understand that mr rebel but you got to make sure everybody's on it and if they're going to start breaking

the records of guys who all they did was fucking eat a bunch of coffee beans or whatever or playing at all i i actually think the first roid era is the all-white league you think so in a way yeah it was just like wasn't it cheating to keep the fucking pedro martinez who's out of the league and then all of a sudden a guy like me can be fourth in your rotation it's not those upper echelon white guys it's it's the pitching they were feasting on right with like facing you know three or four white guys every week a week and a half who would never even sniff the league. And then they get to avoid Satchel Paige, Josh Gibson, Pedro Martinez, and all of these guys. And then those

upper echelon white pitchers only have to get through the white Babe Ruths and never have to move on to the David Ortiz's, Roberto Clemente's, et cetera. I mean mean i don't know like that i think that that's why you have all those softball leagues that i've said this all i throw this to burke kreischer i know i'm repeating myself here no that's fine that's fine burt's burt burt uh burt speaking of which i watched him do a race yesterday on the internet and he won he's out doing shows are you are you giving him shit for out doing these uh driving shows are you all in support of this um i am i don't have a medical degree so i don't know how safe a drive-in show drive-in show seems safer than at a club no i just mean as a friend are you giving him shit for going to do the tour i mean you know he's because because people have not worked for four months so at

this point you know yeah you know sammy hagar got all of that shit going you're gonna have to open up the economy people just gonna have to die and immediately oh you fucking rich ass motherfucker it's like first of all it was regular people that all started fucking running around and poking their heads out too soon fact yeah so don't blame this guy and he's not just talking about his money okay it's like the person with the mom and pop store goes under and then that drags sammy under because they can't go to his fucking show what he's saying makes sense if you just get over your jealousy of the fact that he knows how to play guitar and can sing you know what i mean if you actually just listen yeah yeah no rather than throwing him on the celebrity rock star pile

the guy actually fucking made sense because what i inferred out of that was listen if a third of these fucking assholes aren't going to stay home anyway and we're going to keep hitting the reset button which what all of those fucking assholes did was put us too we just all didn't make money for eight fucking weeks for nothing right because he's done puns with no medical degree are walking around going it's just a cold or you're just being selfish like a fucking banker and being like well i'm young it doesn't affect me i'm gonna go out or whatever right right um but i have sympathy for people that are so up against it that they they have to do what they got to do because they got to keep the lights on

and feed their kids. I have no fucking problem with that. But someone who just wants to go out and get a fucking beer, you know, so now somebody's grandparents got to get infected and possibly fucking die. I mean, I don't know. But like I said, I don't know shit about this. But I think at some point, you know, if people are just going to keep behaving you know in selfish ways like i'm trying to separate the same way the looters were not the protesters the same way people desperate for money are not people out you know at fucking spring break right you know what i mean there's all

different sections so there really is um i i don't know. And then with CNN and Fox both blaming each other and getting everybody fucking pissed off. I mean, Sammy might be calling it that at some point they're just going to have to say, fuck it.

But I don't get how, like, you know, I know Italy has like different political factions and they seem to be able to stop it. New York city has been able to stop it. CNN just has to stop calling people on the right fucking idiots. They got to stop doing that because people are starting to feel like wearing a mask is a middle finger to people on the left rather than it's a fucking death sentence

to people with asthma and fucking shit, as far as what I've seen. So it's really dangerous what they're doing. You've got to bring people together. Nobody on the left is 100% right. Nobody on the right is 100% right. But we are all in this situation together. You've got to fucking...

Dude, it's like trying to win a championship. You can't have a divided locker room. That's what the fuck we have over here. And when I fucking watch CNN and Fox, if you told me years later that they'd been bought out by some fucking billionaire guy from Russia who's trying to destroy this country, I'd be like, oh, now it makes sense. Because it didn't make sense that Americans would do that to other Americans. Right. Right. Have you found have you found yourself like I know you're not you're not drinking anymore. I don't I don't know if you're sober. I don't know if that's a term that you even use. But you've you kind of put away the sauce. Is it forever or no?

Are you saying the word sober? Is that not correct for you? Is that not terminology? No, it's not correct because I'll fucking, I'll take a couple of hits off a joint or I'll eat like a gummy bear or whatever the fuck those things are. But even then,

then I'll just start doing, I just realized I'm sort of like a habit guy. So like one of my habits now is straightening up and going through my shit and I just get, I get like into shit. I don't get addicted, I get into into shit. I don't get addicted.

I get into shit. And then I have like this fucking habit that I don't have to go to meetings and I can just stop doing it. I just wake up one day. I'm like, all right, I'm done doing this shit. Right.

And that's what, that's what, that's what drinking was just kind of like something you just were done doing. I had, I had a kid and I was legally fucking hammered it's my drinking started with when i got really busy in this business and like um i'm telling you dude like how hard writers work in this business and you know those first two three seasons where i was in there every single day slugging it out before i had kids and i had to sort of like

delegate a little more and be a little smarter with my time like you would come home especially on days when the script wasn't working the the level of thinking that you just did for you know 8 10 12 hours you I would come home and I was I would just be fucking fried and there was just nothing better than coming home and taking a really fucking great bottle of bourbon and pouring it over a giant fucking ice cube yeah but what happened was that that you know one finger became two became three became i'll pour it up over the ice cube became i'll have another one became i'll hide the third one on this side of my leg and hopefully the ice won't touch the glass so my wife won't hear it

and I was like am I literally doing this and which made me wonder can you drink yourself as a non-addictive personality can you drink yourself into actually being an alcoholic because I know that that you can get addicted to sugars. I definitely got addicted to tobacco, nicotine with cigars, which I'm battling that again because I had a kid. It was my wife's birthday, my birthday, and Father's Day. So the cigars were just flying at me, and I just kept justifying it. Oh, it's the day before my birthday.

Last day, I'm 51. Good excuse to light one up yeah turn 52 the next day i got on zoom with bart nick verzi and all my buddies josh and all of the guys and then the next day i did rogan and my buddy mike binder had left a box of cigars it was three days in a row right and then the devil was fucking at his talons in my back again. So I've smoked two more since then. I have two more left. So I'm just going like, all right, June, I'm going sideways. I'm going to pick my spot to enjoy those next two.

And then I'm just not going to replenish my cigar box. And then I'll just be fine. Because that's another thing that I learned. How my drinking went out of control was I brought it, I learned about it. So I learned the, ooh, the higher brow liquors, you know? And then I brought the devil into my house. Back in the day, if I wanted to drink, I had to go out. So there was so many nights that I felt like having a drink, but I'm not fucking putting my pants on. You know, it was the 90s. Put mousse in my hair back when I had something.

I don't want to deal with that, you know? Right, right. So it's gone for good for now. It's gone for good for now. Yeah, I think, you know, something, when I feel that I could actually go back to it and it wouldn't be a fucking problem. Which I just I don't I don't believe that it that it wouldn't be so.

You know, there is occasions like when I'm out with my wife and we're having a really nice meal and then they bring this bottle of wine that compliments it. Yeah. You know know she takes a sip like oh you know that's that's when it's fucking hard but all right but i gotta tell you waking up in the morning you know you don't have the booze bag face and you got a flat stomach that's you know it's it's fucking great up until about 5 30 6 o'clock yeah no i mean it's look i like i go back and forth as i've this show is all about having a drink with somebody and you know i'm sorry i fucked that up you did bad no it's no a lot of so many of my friends are actually sober too i mean like you know bobby's one of my best friends and he's been sober for years so so many people in my

life are so sober now it almost makes me sometimes sometimes go, oh, maybe I should slow down or stop. But it's not become an issue. Dr. Justin Marchegiani Slowing down is always a great thing. The advice I would give you, well, you're married, so I think you'll be all right. See, I was single for so long. I would, the joke I've been doing is don't use up all your fun days. Dr. Justin Marchegiani Right. Right. No, you know what it really is? Dr. Justin Marchegiani You get to your 40s and 50s and all of a sudden you gotta like you're like in damage control like i gotta start doing yoga right i gotta uh you know i gotta eat brussels sprouts but doing shit like that is not a bad thing but i mean dude is there anything more fun than fucking just getting shit face being on

a boat getting hammered and being at a game yeah it's my fucking other people that are drinking it's fun as shit like i was a real like happy drunk so i and i had a lot of good i didn't get into fights and shit like that i i had a great i had a great fucking time, but I can definitely, uh, you know, there are definitely times, especially, uh, with stress, which is not a good reason to drink. Um, you know, I, I definitely feel myself going like, God damn, I could really do, I could, you know, but, but my brain immediately goes into not, I would like to have a drink. It's be like, I would like to give a bottle, a nice fucking liver punch, you know, like take half of it out. Right. So that's funny. I'm the, I'm the opposite. Stress doesn't usually make me drink. In fact,

stress makes me, uh, overwhelmed and anxious. And I usually just want to, uh, you know, do, do nothing. I usually, my appetite gets suppressed when I'm super stressed. I can't really eat that. You know, a lot of people say they stress eat. I do the opposite. And then for me, I usually love having a drink when I'm in a good mood, when things are positive or like when we're going out to eat and I'm excited, we'll go out and her and I'll have drinks. And it's usually only then. When I'm stressed or I'm depressed or I'm down, luckily, I never want the sauce

because it just sounds annoying. It sounds exhausting. It sounds, I don't know, because I know it's not going to make me happy. So for some reason, if I'm bummed out. Oh, that's good. That's good if you have that. Do you have that?

Do you have those abilities? I just like- But I often want to have one. Talking shit and talking about sports and shit that's all i did on the fucking road man when i would go on the road i would finish when i was working you know verzi barnick lawhead nate craig all of those guys that's all i did and i and i hated going to the spot right like the club i'd always feel like a fucking you know i just like a loser if i walked in the club and everybody that was feel like a fucking, you know, I just felt like a loser.

If I walked in a club and everybody there was younger than me, I'm like, I felt like I fucking stayed back like 50 grades and I was like, I got to get out of here. I love the fucking dive bar

with very quiet music. Back in my 20s, I liked that. I just wasn't into that sceney thing. No, like I fucking hated myself. So I didn't want to go into this place where everybody seemed to be like in love with themselves it was just reinforcing what i thought

about myself is like i'm gonna go into this quiet fucking place where nobody's fucking with me right and um yeah i was a big time nerd and i was into like seeing tourist attractions and going to ballparks and shit like that but then somewhere along the line you know i started drinking like i was in the fucking you know trying to get into the rat pack somewhere along the line you know i started making a little money yeah one time you know a couple times out there i think like three times i did the tour bus thing right and uh oh dude that was the funniest shit ever so it's worth it and what you know what it was definitely fucking worth it because it kept me and my friends out of trouble yeah because that was our club and no one was allowed in we just we

would do the show we would be talking about what we were going to do on the bus what movie we were going to watch what sporting event oh and we would build the tours around sporting events you're just having sleepovers with your friends on the road that's absolutely yeah it's grown up we were all fucking married guys are in relationships so we would fucking like dude i did one one i did one run we went we ended up at the kentucky derby oh how fun uh oh dude that was great i ended up doing a show in kentucky before right before the derby and i had my seersucker suit with the bow tie and the little fucking uh music man hat and i was thinking like should i wear this on the show tonight i'm gonna fucking do this so i put it on right you know and

you know those guys were all laughing going oh man they're gonna they're gonna go nuts when they see you right so i'm standing in the wings and i came out was versi a law head was bringing me up and uh i think it was law head and i was like all of a sudden i was standing there going like oh my god was this a dumb idea am i in orlando right now and i'm gonna come out with mickey mouse ears on and expecting the locals to be excited do they actually secretly hate the kentucky derby because it brings a bunch of fucking yahoos in i was like oh no i was like well too late now and i went out and it was the initial clap and then they took in the suit it

was one of the best ovations i ever got they went fucking fucking nuts. But then I had to keep it on. And eight minutes in, I was like pouring sweat. I was like, guys, can I take this fucking hat off? I'm dying. But yeah, we went to the Masters one time. Every year we go to like a big college football game. That's how I got into like lakes and shit. We went to a Clemson game in Death Valley this year. Game sucked, man. they played like florida state florida state you know one of these off years where they sucked and uh they just got blown out it's like 28 to nothing first four drives but we were staying on this lake i didn't know you could have taken a boat like if we got to know somebody the dude next door had like moonshine and shit it was fucking wild

that's the only time i've ever seen liquor shut down my friends so i was trying oh yeah dude they all took a sip okay i wasn't there but they all took a sip and i was inside i was watching uh the late night college game and they all came in like the hall of fame of drinkers one by one they all came in like all right man i'm going to bed i'll uh yeah i've had enough and they had like this sort of like stare and this thing and this dude next door we met this guy and he could rattle off uh like the the jordans of moonshiners and he was telling us where he goes this is from so-and-so still and this is from so-and-so's and blah blah blah and this still has been going this is the third generation dude it was a whole fucking oh it's a real thing yeah it's a real oh yeah then north

carolina he knows all about it stock car racing came out of that that's where it's from yeah it's from like when they had the boot like a stock car like they that's they they for northerners who didn't know a stock car looked like it was straight from the factory it looked like it was but underneath it was this fucking beast yeah almost like a restomont or something but they and then they would talk shit my fucking my moonshine car is fast and yeah let's have a fucking race and it fucking built into that i think it you know that's another thing too like like i i try to go different parts of the country i just get into whatever the fuck they're into you know which is why it's so fucking disappointing especially so many people in in our business the way they talk down to like you know that everyone that whole idea of a flyover state.

Like there's literally no fun to have. And then everybody's there. Like I'm going to be a dad now and use Eeyore for Winnie the Pooh as a fucking, like everybody there is just sitting there without a tail and they're having the time of their fucking lives. Yeah. Yes,

they are. It's just, just cause it's shit you're not into or didn't take the time to learn about. It's such like a fucking adolescent way that, uh, so many adults are, uh, you know, I don't, I should be careful because I've said a lot of ignorant shit too, but I'm just saying like, especially, I know what you're saying. The idea that these people don't get to enjoy life the way you think you do or your way, your version is better than theirs.

I'm from Illinois. I'm from a fucking flyover state. You know, I'm from the middle of the country or whatever. And they're some of the people that have the most inventive kind of funds because they have different shit than we do. So it's just, we live in a bubble. Everybody lives in their own little bubble.

And for some reason- Yeah, for some reason, if if you live near an ocean that automatically makes you a genius yeah you're better than shit with your fucking life or i love all the people out of here that feel like they're successful simply because all they did was leave their hometown right right right yes there's so many more successful people that still doing the same dumb. You're just not doing it in your hometown. And now you're going to look back at your hometown like anybody didn't leave as a loser. I'm working backwards. I want to go back to Chicago. I'm trying to make money here so I can go home.

That's my literal goal is to move home. I want to move home more than anything in the world. I miss it. I missed it as more, as time has gone on, I thought I would get over it and I never have. So at some point I'm going to, I got to go. Well, the way this business is, you'll be able to do it. I hope so. And then what's great is if you live there, you cut most of your flight times in half. Fuck. I mean, that's the other thing. I'm so tired of fucking jumping around and jumping, you know, sitting on a plane forever and ever. I'd, I'd rather base somewhere like that. And then know you know bob costas

for years lived in st louis because of that i know i don't know if he was initially from there but like he stayed there he didn't get all hollywood and live in la or new york he fucking stayed there because he could just now i understand like jesus christ that guy was at everything he announced everything he did he he called i watched yesterday i watched the Ryan Sandberg game, the 84 game, and just listening to him talk about it is so powerful because it was Saturday baseball. It was like Saturday day game. What is the Ryan Sandberg game? 1984. It was when Sandberg basically solidified himself as a future Hall of Famer, one of the greatest Cubs of all time for hitting two home runs and a regular season game.

It was a Saturday game, game of the week, so it's broadcast nationally. And Sandberg hit two home runs back-to-back in extra innings to win the game. And here was this tiny, skinny, you know, a kid that basically was thrown into a trade from the Phillies who they kind of thought was a joke. I mean, Sandberg was this like, sure, and give me the kid. You know, it was like this bullshit trade and would then solidify himself as arguably, in my opinion, one of the greatest Chicago Cubs, if not the greatest Cub we've ever had.

I mean... You know, the first time I went to Wrigley Field was sometime around then. Was it in the early 80s? 83 or 84 where Leon Durham. Leon Durham. I remember I had the program. I don't know if it might still be in my parents' house. Bill Buckner was on the cover.

No, it was a solid team. And I became a huge Cubs and braves fan because we got basic cable yeah and we had tbs right which and so i i knew all those guys like bob horner and dale murphy all of those guys yeah um glenn hubbard was that the guy second base they all had like these fucking huge hipster beards yeah Yeah, huge beards. Yeah. They were called ZZ Top beards when I was a kid. Right.

But, and then the Cubs games. And I used to watch like Harry Carey. And I thought it was so fucking cool that they hadn't put the lights up yet. There wasn't any night games. Right. Although I will say Wrigley at night is fucking gorgeous. It's my favorite. But it is.

But it was cool. The day game, the idea of only day game. They used to make fun of Chicago for it all the time. It was like, who wants to play that much baseball in the middle of the day? And then you listen to any of those guys talk about it. They fucking loved it. They ended up falling deeply in love with it. It became kind of the cornerstone of that.

They could probably go out and have some fucking beers. Yeah, they could live. Yeah, they could live. Yeah, they could live when it was done. Yeah, that's like guys in radio. Guys in radio, it's not as glamorous, but when you get that afternoon shift, that fucking, the noon to three, I can sleep in and still go out and party.

This is the fuck, I mean, that's the spot. Right, right. Yeah, the day game baseball is, and for me also, when my dad would take me to a game that was like my favorite thing on fucking earth yeah because you also felt like you were getting away with something like oh was it was it true that the reason that uh they were gonna have lights and then world war ii came they needed the metal scraps so they the metal from that they gave that's what i heard. They donated. Yeah.

And so it never, is that true? I don't know. I feel like that sounds like it sounds like a wives tale, but I wanted it to be true. So when I heard it, I was like, that's probably right.

It sounds right. That's something I, well, that's how a lot of people believe in shit. Now it's like, I want to believe in that. So I'm going to say it happened. I'll say it happened.

The fucking computer is going to die here. No, it's fine. Let's, I appreciate all of the time from you regardless this has been fucking incredible uh we end the episode the same way freddie soto whenever i hear that word regardless regardless shout out to freddie soto um we end the episode the same way you have to end it it's just you you say just look into the camera and say one word or one phrase that takes us out of the episode that you want to hit home. A word or a phrase to leave us with.

All of that pressure? Yeah, you can handle it. One word or one phrase? Go ahead. That you want us, that you want to get out. Okay. Can you just stop? In here, we pour whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey. You're that creature in the ginger beard.

Sturdy and ginger. Like vampires, the ginger gene is a curse. Gingers are beautiful. You owe me $5 for the whiskey and $75 for the horse. Gingers are hell no. This whiskey is excellent. Ginger. I like gingers.