Whiskey Ginger with Andrew Santino - Brad Garrett

Episode Date: August 7, 2020

Santino sits down with the tall drink of Metamucil himself, Brad Garrett to talk about wrecking a Ferrari clutch, his love for cuckoo clocks and hucking jokes over the heads of network execs when your TV is getting canceled. ORDER SOME MERCH!!! https://www.andrewsantinostore.com GO TO www.andrewsantino.com FOR ALL THINGS CHEETO SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS! BLUE CHEW - Have better sex at the drop of a pill without leaving the comfort of your house. Get blue Chew delivered to your door and knock boots again and again and again https://bluechew.com/ Promo code WHISKEY for first order FREE!!! Just pay for shipping. DHM DETOX - Beat your hangovers!!! Take two pills before you drink to make the next day a breeze https://dhmdetox.com Use promo code WHISKEY for 20% OFF Join our Patreon : https://www.patreon.com/whiskeygingerpodcast Follow Santino on Insta and Twitter: https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino/ https://twitter.com/CheetoSantino Whiskey Ginger Insta and Twitter: https://www.instagram.com/whiskeygingerpodcast/ & https://twitter.com/whiskeyginger_ Whiskey Ginger Clips: http://www.youtube.com/c/WhiskeyGingerPodcastClips EDITING AND PRODUCTION DESIGN BY THE AMAZING WHISKEY GINGER TEAM JENNA SUNDE https://www.instagram.com/jenna_sunday/ JOE FARIA https://www.instagram.com/joseph_faria Y&S https://www.instagram.com/youngandsick/ Intro Music by Rocom: https://www.youtube.com/user/RocomTelevision Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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I like gingers. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to Whiskey Ginger. My guest today is one of my favorite people on earth. I say that for all my guests, but I mean it once again today is Mr. Brad Garrett. Brad, thank you for being here. How are you, Andrew? How are you? I'm good. I had a bad round of golf this morning, so I'm feeling a little depressed about myself. What would you shoot? What's a bad round to a guy like you? A round 80 was bad. Oh, come on. For real? Yeah, that's bad. So you're a player? I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm not bad. Yes, I blew up a little bit. I didn't enjoy it. The

front was fine and the back was not good. I ran into your buddy Ray Romano on the course, and I shouldn't say buddy because I don't know. You could hate his guts. I ran into your buddy Ray Romano on the course. And I shouldn't say buddy because I don't know. You could hate his guts. I have no idea. I do. No, I love Ray. Ray and I are quite close. And I played a lot of golf with him. I stopped years ago. I've never broken 100 in my life. I had lessons. I had coaches. I really didn't care. I'm horrible in any athletics, but I love golf and we would play all the time. And he was like, why don't you go to a range? And I go, look, you're at the range six days a week yeah and you're shooting 88 i never go and i'm i'm around 111 i i don't i don't under you know if you're if you can't break 100 after and i'm saying 15 20 years of playing but the back

used to give me problems but i do miss and i saw him recently let's go out a little so i may i may go uh i may play uh little. Let's go together. Here's one of the best stories. You know that Tahoe charity thing they do every year? I'm sure you, have you done it? No, but I know about it. Yeah. It's a big thing for Ray.

You know, it's like the big time athletes and some celebrities and whatever. And he took me once. And, you know, the worst player before me was Charles Barkley. And Ray's like, look, you're not as bad as him. You'll be fine. And after the first round, not bad. I have Charles by two strokes. Okay. This is not bad. And charles by two strokes okay this is not bad and he and charles is busted

and then the second day i just i implode you know i'm doing bullshit for the gallery as opposed to just trying to not you know and uh the second day after nine holes, I'm right around 68. I took a, yeah, I know. On the front. On the front. 68 on the front. Yeah. And I seven putt the ninth hole.

Okay. What? How? That's almost impossible. I know. I know. And I get all that. I know the, you know, and I go, and they go to Ray and it's, how do you, you know, and they said, how do you, how do you take a 12? I think I took a 12 after I said it, but it was a par four. Right. And I count everything. You know, I don't kick the ball.

No, I count everything. Right. They ask Ray, and it was NBC Sports, and they go, how did your buddy take a 12? And he goes, oh, he missed the puck for 11. That was really his end. And I ended up losing to to barkley but oh man i was wearing a ping hat you know that they gave you in the in the swag bag sure and after the after nine holes one of the guys from nbc sports he said can you do me because they went out live they said can

you do me a favor they said ping you know is one of our big sponsors and i know i i said no no i'm wearing the hat and they went they want you to take it off they would prefer it if you remove the hat yeah it was you're you're not a golfer you should get maybe tennis boy i adore the game and it's so admirable but anyway for something you really didn't even ask yeah i think that's the whole interview i don't think we're going to be able to do anything else i think no no brad no no um for reference for people that don't know um brad and i met uh doing a show called i'm dying up here on showtime i had the privilege of working with you you're an incredible actor a great show for you man you're you You are amazing. Well, not true.

It's not true. You, boy, oh, boy. Very impressive. Well, I thank you. I deny it, but I thank you. And people don't know how generous of a guy you are. I don't want to spread rumors, but Brad gave everyone a Ferrari when he showed up, which I thought was just a cool, what a cool thing to do.

Nice. The whole cast. I mean, I just, some people get small gifts. Yeah. The yellow one, right? The fly yellow. Fly yellow. Yeah. That was mine. Yeah. And I crashed it. I'm not going to lie. I wrecked it right away. Okay. Yeah. I've done that. Yeah. That's fine. Have you, have you wrecked a Ferrari before? Uh, I, I once, uh, on a test drive, I burnt out the clutch on a test drive. Went on a test drive, cost you $6,400. What?

Wait a minute. Burnt it out. What year was it? What year was the Ferrari? It was when the Modena came out. Some people call it Modena. I call it Modena. It's when that came out, 2002.

I was going to say, it's right around early 2000 when that came out. So stick shift cars, Ferraris waned away from that now. They don't do stick anymore. I mean, you have to order it. And I love stick, as you can see. I love it. I mean, I'll pay $6,400 for a clutch. But it was unbelievable.

I will never forget. I had the glass back. And the salesman's with me he's like are you are you good with this i said yeah i grew up driving the clutch he said okay they're a little different and and uh the smoke started filling in the back and he goes dude and it became a little bit of this, you know, and I, you know, I was like, relax. I gave him one of those. I know what I'm doing, pal. Yeah. And, uh, test drove it. And, and, uh, I said, look, if I'm going to write a check for 6,400, I might as well, you know,

lease it. Right. You know, I made a lot of mistakes with cars, a lot of mistakes. That's kind of a, you know, I stopped a lot of addictions cars, a lot of mistakes. That's kind of, uh, you know, I stopped a lot of addictions and I picked up other ones like car collecting and things I don't fucking know anything about because, you know, you're, you're obsessive compulsive and a bit of an addict. You, uh, uh, you know, you pick up other things. So I've had to learn that the hard way, but I'll never, I was so embarrassed. And, and I, I, and it was right on Wilshire Boulevard where they have the, you know, the Ferrari. And I was very, very embarrassed. I'm sorry. I'm sorry to laugh, but I get it. Do you remember? So I've had a couple of cars that

were stick and I still adore stick. And we talked, we talked a little bit of cars. Cause you know, I'm, I love cars. I can't, obviously I can't afford your habit, but I do anymore. Well, okay. We're even, but I think, um, did you remember when you were like, who taught you how to drive stick? My dad, my first car was a 72 Pinto runabout. Wow. A runabout. I've never even heard of a runabout. 72 Pinto Runabout. Wow, a runabout. I've never even heard of a runabout. Well, listen, yeah.

They were, you know, and my dad, it was my dad's car. He gave it to me when I turned 16. It was a 72. And he goes, you know, there's a controversy about going in reverse. But none of it's been confirmed. So stay away from parallel parking. I remember him telling me that. My dad was an incredible driver.

He was a dude from the Bronx, fearless, heart of gold. And he, I remember, man, he was on Sunset Boulevard. My dad was a great dude and really wonderful and bipolar. And we were driving on Sunset Boulevard in the Pinto. It was a stick. And this Lotus cuts him off, you know? And I'm like, you know,

your typical Jewish kid. I'm like, let it go. Yeah. Right. Why mix it up? You know, you're a ginger.

So I'm sure you would have been fucked this. Right. Of course. And I'm dead. It's okay. He goes, no, that was inconsiderate. He's right. We're two giant men. He was six, five in a Pinto. We're doing like 40. We're top ended at 40 on sunset. He caught that Lotus and it was a little bit of a, it was a little bit of a, of a, it was an incredible driver so he taught me and i love a stick and nowadays it's it's tough to get a stick yeah you have to let a salesman let you

test drive a stick right well that's smart that's a smart test driving a ferrari's tough you know you're gonna look i don't i don't does anybody test drive a ferrari without the intention on buying it i feel like you're gonna buy it if you test it right does that does anybody ever just go to you know yeah you know they they i mean i think they they have to know you a little bit i think as far as a car person but i was there a couple months ago i shouldn't have been just looking and i ran into lovitz who's a who's a real car guy yeah and uh and it was it was it was so funny was he picking up a ferrari he was he was he was looking he's a he's a car guy yeah wild he was looking i know he has a few cars but it was it was fun we were both standing in the ferrari place going god so hard to be out of work

as we're standing there and a ferrari in a ferrari dealership yeah i uh i learned how to drive stick on a 69 corvette stingray oh gosh um and that was the hardest thing i ever had to learn because i had stick cars after that and it was my buddy's dad's car and i was so scared to screw it up i was like so nervous and scared about it because he was precious with it. But he took us in a church parking lot and was teaching us how to drive stick. And the clutch was so hard. And I was 15 at the time. And the dad let you do that.

He trusted you. Yeah. Yeah, he did. Wow. Yeah. Well, he was kind of a, he didn't give a shit. I mean, he was just a fun dude who he had a bunch of cars and he had a lot of money and i think for him it was fun to just it was cool to show off to

the to the neighborhood where was this in chicago well i grew up in chicago and then by the time i got to high school then i was in the western suburbs of chicago okay so i was in the city till uh till we my mother remarried and we moved out to the western suburbs so i was living at the western suburbs at the time okay um and uh we were in a church parking lot and he taught and he was like you just got to slam it with your little my little skinny you know pretzel leg and i slammed it as hard as i could and my ankle i twisted my ankle but i but i couldn't let him know right like i'm not i couldn't i was not i wasn't was not going to be like oh no way right so i twisted my ankle my ankle and I was just like holding in all of it as I was doing. And the clutch was, if you know about like old vets, they're so stiff.

I mean, they were so tough to drive. Compared to today, you know, when guys get, you know, when guys get sick today, if you don't know, you don't know. It's butter today. It doesn't even feel like you're doing anything. It's butter. It's a joke. But back then it was like. A lot of room for mistakes on today. It doesn't even feel like you're doing anything. It's butter. It's a joke. But back then, it was like a- A lot of room for mistakes on today.

This was like a crank. I felt like, man, I was like cranking it every day. I mean, you know, it was like machine operated. Yeah. And I twisted my ankle and I bit my lip. What year was the car again? 69 Stingray, Corvette Stingray. Yeah, 69.

The beauty. Big, huge wheel hubs, you know? It was a beautiful, bright red. It was a beautiful car, man. man yeah and so that was my uh i think that was my foray into liking cars honestly because my dad we never had nice cars i didn't i you know my dad a buick we had a buick park avenue that was my dad we had a le sabre and a park avenue okay top end He drives on the couch. Yeah, it's a boat. It's a boat on wheels. It's amazing.

Yeah, I love it. The Buicks. So he didn't, I never, I got into cars on my own because of my friend's dads who were big car collectors. Sure. Then I started to get into it. Now that I'm getting to a place where I can actually kind of have fun with them, you know, it's nice to be able to afford them. How many cars do you have, Brad? Be real with me.

I really, I... Just it seven. I got seven, but I, I had a, I really, when I built the club in Vegas, you know, my, my business manager is like, you got to get rid of the warehouse. You got to get, see, I don't know what I'm doing with cars. You know, I mean, I will, See, I don't know what I'm doing with cars. You know, I mean, I will, I have trouble. I can't change a plug. I can't everything. You know, Leno is like, you know, just read the manual. Just read the manual.

You know, I've tried to learn. So I get, I get fucked every, every avenue. You know, I can't change the oil. So it's like, I buy them. I don't buy him right i buy him quick and i end up um you know so when i built the club i i he goes you know this is this is a real shot you're taking in the business you've got to get rid of some of the toys so i i narrowed it down and and i may be doing more of that depending when the vaccine's coming out. I know. It's just wild right now, man. Well, your comedy club, I came and saw you while I was doing, I don't know what I was doing, maybe Kimmel's Club.

But I came and said hi to you and saw you. And it was so much fun to watch you in your club. Do you guys have one, not to harp on this because we've talked about it ad nauseum, but you know when you might have the club come back? When are you guys going to start putting acts in there? You know, there's no entertainment anywhere now in Vegas. And the MGM is just, you know, they're very, they want to do it right. And they have half the properties on the strip. The rumor is now possibly September.

But they're going to wait for the governor to give the green light. And, uh, you know, I get it. It may, it makes sense. I mean, what, you know, have you been working any rooms? I know there's some open in the country or no, but it's crazy to do it. Right. I just think, I think I assessed the situation. Um, and I was like, I I just I just don't think it's worth it on on on multitude of levels right I prior to this we had sold out this tour I'm doing this tour I had sold I had almost sold out the entire tour I was so excited man I was so elated to go do it and to finally like see fans and connect with people that I haven't seen for over

a year on the road or two years in certain cities and And, um, when I broke it down, I just don't think it was worth both the financial commitment, the health commitment, the risk that I don't want to be the guy that brings people into a room and then I get shit for it. I'm like, no, that's, yeah. Why should the performer be the guy? Cause it would fall on us. I mean, when I got, when I stopped my run, uh, in Chicago in March, I supposed to have a show there i was home with my family and you know the city said you can you can perform um but uh uh we are advising not it has to be under 250 people well we had the room talia hall is way bigger than that and so i was like well why did they say yes then you know what i mean they like left it up to us to ruin ourselves. So I was like, I'm good. That was kind of my, that was, that was smart. Yeah. That was smart. Yeah. I mean, we were going to open when they

thought we would, you know, they said you're going to have to be at 50% capacity with the distancing and you know, we only see 250, right? So at the end of the day, it just makes sense. And then wearing the masks. You know, I hardly hear laughs when I'm on stage anyway. Putting the mask over them, I don't have it. That's not true. That is not true. You know, I think what happens is.

I'm such a hack. Well, also, in the beginning of your show, you spit on the audience, which I don't think helps, and it's probably not good for the pandemic. Well, it's not spitting. It's spraying. It's spraying because I have new teeth. Oh. So it's a lot of – it's spraying, but it isn't spitting. Sure.

You call it what you want to call it, but it's very interesting to watch. No, I'm sad to hear it because – and we were trying to get me out at least to try to play your club by this year. Because we had talked about it last year. And what is Vegas? Have you been back to Vegas? What does it look like? Are people there?

Are people on the strip? You know what? We closed it March 13th. And I haven't been back. Wild. And I got, you know, a lot of friends that are dealers and work at casinos and people, food and beverage. a lot of friends that are dealers and work the casinos and people, food and beverage. And, uh, they thought by opening the casinos and part of the restaurants,

but, um, I don't think with the numbers going where they're going, I think people are more concerned than they thought they would be. And rightfully so, you know, you know, they got the, you know, my buddy's a craps dealer and, you know, he's got the full thing and the helmet and Yeah. You know, my buddy's a craps dealer, and, you know, he's got the full thing and the helmet and the, you know, and the shield and the mask under the shield. And it's, you know, it's a lot. I know Vegas isn't going to want to have to close again.

So they're doing it in small increments and at least trying to get some people out. But the pools are open, I'm hearing. Really? Yeah, the pools are open. But again, huge distancing from the pools. But before COVID, the things you can catch in a Vegas pool, COVID's probably not even up there. It's not even close.

You know what I'm saying? Do you feel like maybe you and I should take a trip to Vegas and do a little pool show? COVID's probably not even up there. It's not even close. You know what I'm saying? Do you feel like maybe you and I should take a trip to Vegas and do a little pool show? We should do a show in a pool? Listen, I ain't following you, but I'm certainly, certainly open for you. I think we should get a cabana. Yes.

And I'm not taking my shirt off either. Yes, you are. That's okay. I'm the guy I swim in my t-shirt. No, you don't. I do. I do. I got a third nipple and an odd, not really a dorsal fin, but I have a growth.

It's a hump? That actually goes down to area 51. It's kind of like, I don't want to say a sailfish, but it's more of a, you know, I got things on me. Do you have scoliosis brad is this i don't i don't uh but i i you know i would welcome it at this point in my life sure sure you know living in this thing you know i'm starting to like it's been a great run the world is looking really fucking scary and And I'm just like, it's been, it's, you know, it's been great. How, you know, how,

how long can I milk star search? Yeah. It's time for me to, you know, go away somewhere, learn to fly fish. Right. You know, and Ray will fly over in his G five and wave. Say hi. Yeah. And just saying, you know, we'll get you on, we'll get you on Hollywood squares. we'll get you on we'll get you on hollywood squares we'll get you on one of those i'll tell you i'm open i'm open to doing it i really wanted to do a hollywood squares like an r-rated version yeah that's for like netflix that would be great um i'm trying to bring back make me laugh i think that was before your time i know what it is though yeah but um it was a great

show and to bring out comics and uh you know i'm looking for something fun to do uh from the comedy club yeah thinking of when it reopens to maybe do some stuff out of there as well i got that hollywood squares are rated would be that's a fucking brilliant idea i hope you don't care that thousands of people are going to hear you say that and steal your idea listen it's please have fun with it you'd be a great host actually i would love i would love to do that that's something honestly i i said the other night um i was watching uh uh alfonso ribeiro is hosting america's funniest home now, you know. Is he?

Okay. The guy from Fresh Prince. Fresh Prince. Yeah. Yeah. Carlton. Sure. You knew the name.

Yeah. Carlton. Yeah, baby. The room was empty and he's performing during COVID times to an empty room. And at first I thought, that is fucking miserable to watch this guy. Like he's like hamming it up. He's got it. It's his job to like sell these kooky videos. But then when I kept watching it, I realized how it's a perfect gig. You know, like there is no audience to pretend to look at and do the thing with.

You just ham it up for the camera on a hosting gig like that, throw it to the clips and then go home. And I thought I, that could be, I could, that would be my good night moon. That would be my swan song is doing a hosting show. I would love that. I would love to host something like that at the end of it all. Right now, I want to do a little bit more TV work. Not much. You should, bro. Just a little. Why do you say not much? You're very gifted. Why not? Because I think it's tough. It's tough to get on something.

I'm on a show now that I like. It's this FX show called Dave. It's fun. We're going to do another season. I've heard great stuff about it. It's fun. How is it? It's good.

The only one problem is the main character is Jewish, and I know you're not a fan. Oh, God. Sorry. You can't get out? Yeah, no. No, it's hard. No, I mean, that show has a lot of buzz.

Yeah, no, it's doing well. We're going to get another season. Well, we got another season. We're going to do it. Who? I mean, you know, who knows? I mean, they said November, but I think it'll be next year. Why are you negative about it, Andrew?

No, no, no, not the show itself. I just mean TV, finding something good is hard, and finding something that can last, as you know, is – Yes. It's a crapshoot so very tough it's emotional and to me the only control i've ever had is stand up in my career and stand up or podcasting this sure there is no pressure that next year they're going to take it away they can't take away stand up from you oh they've taken mine away well and that's honestly order we voted

brad i voted i voted And I wanted you out. All right. And again, you know that you have that right. Did you mail in or did you stand in line? No, I wanted to make sure my vote was physically counted. I walked in. I punched it in. It was the old punch card. They said, who do you not want to see on stage anymore? Brad Garrett. I mean, it was only you. I don't think I voted anybody else. Of course. I do understand what you're saying though. You know, when we start out as standups where we're not just control freaks, but there's a reason we are because we live or die by it. We're our own writer, director, producer, sometimes our own audience, you know? So when you get into a collaborative thing,

you get a little, uh, you know, it's, it's, it's difficult to get on something. And then it's who's going to, you know, are people going to watch it? There's just so much TV. But actually, it's on my list. Dave is on my list. I'm almost done with 90 Day Fiance. Oh, so good. So good.

I read for that. You didn't get it? No, they thought it was too Semitic. But you've had like 30 mail-order brides. You should be right up there. First of all, it's four. Okay. And I got to tell you, you know, I don't know if the muffins are ready.

I don't know if you heard the cuckoo clock. It's so good. My future bride, you know, we've been engaged for a long, long time. I've been with Izzy for 12 years and she bought me this gorgeous, I love clocks, you know, because I don't have time. I mean, I know it's soon. But she got me this gorgeous cuckoo clock. I've always wanted a cuckoo clock, you know, when I was young. A lot of things I didn't get, Andrew, when I was growing up.

You seem very deprived. I mean, the cuckoo clock seems like an obtainable thing for a child to get as a gift. What did you get as gifts? Sticks? Rocks? I'll tell you what I did. I got the clock with the cat that had the eyes. Oh, yeah.

It was a black, yeah, that. And I wanted one forever because I couldn't have a pet growing up. My mom was allergic to fur, but she had five minks, which was weird. Anyway, I know you're not big into the Jews. I would explain how that works.

That is not, Brad, that is not true. I am very big into them. I like them very much. I just don't want anyone near me like that. Not in my vicinity, pal. And you know what's so funny? This will get isolated. This clip will get isolated.

Of course. Brad here, Andrew Santino hates Jews. And he'll just go, that'll be the thing. Of course. And who's a more perfect person to help you get there but me? Well, you, look, you can plead the fifth uh they they went after alan and then they quoted you recently talking about alan and they made it sound like it was uh it was like brad garrett versus alan what what how did this come about well it's wild huh it's wild because we had just i had just texted you literally i talked to you

yeah and then like as the universe as if the universe was just like talking to me i texted you in moment like a day later i had seen this thing about ellen and all this shit and then you yeah you know i really didn't think it would it would i have so few followers really didn't think it would, it would, I have so few followers. I didn't think anyone would see it. To be really honest, I thought like my neighbor would go, but, but I don't want to, and I know you'll get this. I said what I had to say. It's not, I don't want to make it a thing. Yeah.

It's, it's, it's not anything that she's not already dealing with. I mean, there's no one I've spoken to that's been in the business for more than a short while that isn't familiar with this, which is what my tweet said. And sometimes you chirp up for the little folks. Totally. Look, you're in the right. I'm not trying to dig at you. I think it's funny. No, know? Totally. I think, look, you're in the right. I'm not trying to dig at you. I think it's funny. No, no, no. And I don't feel that way. I just don't want it because I haven't spoken about it. And people want comments and they want it to become a big thing. And it's not a vendetta. It's nothing like that. It's something that's, you know, out there. And like I said, common knowledge. And, and if I didn't have

a lot of associates and friends, very involved in that environment that, you know, I would have. So I just I chirped up and sometimes you got to do this. I do believe if it was a male talk show host, he would have been gone years ago. They would have killed him. Yeah. Stoned him in the streets. Yeah. So sometimes, but, you know, she'll be fine and it'll all work out the way it should. And, you know, I'm going back to my space. That's where I used to put a lot of my stuff out and I never had problems. I would go to all the, uh, the, uh, the tip toppers mixers.

Yes. I don't know if you know about the tip toppers. We would love for you to join. I'm only six one. Ah, you gotta be six, five to be in the tip toppers. Women have to be nine feet, nine feet. So, um, you're the, are you the, or who's the, who leads the tip toppers? Who's like the organizer? Circus people, circus people, usually, uh, people that, uh, the bearded lady ran it for six years. You can only do. Yeah. And then it was the, uh, the mutant from Ventura. Oh, one of my first gigs, standup gigs. Cause you know, you know how, uh,

you know, my monologues go. Yeah. I was hired by the tip toppers club i had never heard of it you know i was like six feet at 13 no ability of any kind and uh when i started doing stand-up you know you know they called me and they were like and i said i'll be there i would love to and it was a mixer and literally a room of, I mean, I felt petite. It was incredible. Giant, giant people. And to this day, a lot of them are my lab experiments, are my friends. A lot of them are my friends. But it was the Tip Toppers Club. That's wild. So you felt small at six five i'm six eight yeah i sent you the bio okay andrew can i tell you something you know what's the meaning about that you know i can't read and that's even more that's more rude of you than

it is of anything else i said you sorry you not only did you send me but he sent me a 13 page bio and a 10 point font knowing that i'm illiterate and I knew that was you taking a shot at me. It was just rude. That's a 13 pager. Yes. Yes. In here, we pour whiskey. This episode of Whiskey Ginger is brought to you by Blue Chew. Guys, let's talk about the sex. A lot of people are a little uncomfortable talking about their sex life, their drive, their libido. It's hard. It's not easy. Look, I've been blessed. The Red Rocket is blessed, but that doesn't mean everyone is, all right? Some people need a little extra boost. The caboose needs another engine, you know? Nothing wrong with that whatsoever. Blue Chew brings you the first chewable with the same FDA-approved active ingredients as Viagra and

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That's dhmdetox.com slash whiskey. If you got any questions, let them know on Instagram. Ginger. I like gingers. I just always thought it was so funny that you had a tall people. You know, bless us. You know, some of it, it's a... No, not all of you, but some of you, you know what I mean?

I don't have to get into it, but I couldn't believe we had our own club, you know, and you walk in the room and you're like, I, I, I don't want to be around any of it. It's like, it's like twins that have their own clubs and things like that. You were a Siamese twin. Weren't you at one time? I was a Siamese twin. I was a Siamese twin. You were conjoined, I believe early on. Well, I was conjoined.

I de-joined and I ate my brother. I ate my brother. Yeah. Yeah. Which is the only reason why I'm over six feet. You know, we were slotted to be five, six a piece. Were you? Yeah.

And I said, no chance. So I ate my brother and I'm six one now. You ate your brother? Yep. Ate him alive. Well, yeah, he was alive. I ate him alive. That's why I am what I am now.

That's all right, man. How is the podcast going? You know, I'm thinking of doing one. Really, it's really, it's going really good. You're doing a great job and everything. Everyone, let me look at the meter online. Let me look right now. And it says, Well, now it's not going to be good. Well, no, people are loving it. They're actually upvoting this right now. They're clicking on, this is great. Let me read the comments. This is going great.ad is cool hey brad is hot this is all the same guy right this is all the same guy all right well but we've got him we've got him in

there no it's you're i think you should you have a get it out you know because i thought of doing one uh like about mental health and stuff like that because you know i you know i got a i got a lot of circus music up here i do but i just you know i i started to film a couple and i really dig it but it's like there's so many and i know yours has great traction yeah you just throw it out there and yeah you know we have a dedicated fan base that likes uh that likes the show that keeps coming back that spreads it around and then um we put it up there and we promote it. We cross promote it amongst other platforms to see like what grabs and who,

you know, who's interested in the guests that I have. I like to think I pick very good guests except for some weeks, present company included. I'm sorry. It's fine. Look, I'm going to have a couple lapses. People say, that's what they say in the pod world. They say you're going to have a couple of duds.

And this week is definitely a dud. There's no doubt about it. But- I know. And I'm, listen, don't think I don't feel it on this end. I mean, but yeah, all right. I've always, can I tell you something? I've always wanted to be, I've always wanted to have enough money to have an office where I have a lot of black framed photos next to each other. I love that. You can have this office. I can't. Whatever you got. I can't. Everything's priced to move. You have no idea. Can I buy something for the clutch? What about the clock? What if I buy the cuckoo clock? The cuckoo clock you can have. It's, like I said, made in Germany. So every hour they give my people a 10 minute headstart. So when you hear the boop boop, that's when you, that's when you just take everything you'd load

up for a fire season and you, you just split. But I, I love old black and white photography. These aren't pictures of me. I'm, you know, I'm not ready. I don't do that. That's in your master bedroom. Your master bedroom has photos of you everywhere. Yes. Life-size, actually. Life-size, with the small wiener included. But, yeah. Brad, you were going to ask me. I cut you off.

Let me ask you. Why don't you cut your picture a little bit? Now, you see how it's like, what's going on? What is this? A return vent on your left? What is behind? Where are you now? Well, the audience isn't going to be able to see that because we're doing it on Zoom instead of in the studio.

So what they see is going to be a much smaller version than what you see. And that's why my genitals are out for you right now because they're not going to see that. This is just for the Zoom. That's for the Zoom calls. That's all that is. No, I'm in a… They'll cut you here, I'm hoping. It's just going to be just my face.

This is all they're going to see. Why? Because that's all they need to see. They don't need to see anything else. They don't need to know that I'm not fully clothed. That had to cost you a couple dollars. This was great. When we're in studio and we do the wide shot, the fans can see the full sign.

This was made by a buddy who is incredibly talented. This is super super super heavy he hand carved this hand carved this out of uh uh uh uh oak a protected historic oak i had them cut it down illegally and i wanted i said shave whiskey ginger in there and they said sir that's a thirty thousand dollar fine and i threw money at the local arbor you care yeah breeze that's a beautiful thing. Yeah. Yeah, I know.

Like in a podcast, I'm going to get a wood sign. I don't know if you're there yet. I don't know if you're a wood sign. I don't feel I'm there. You know, I ramble, as you're noticing. Yes.

I really am not a good listener. So I was just going to call it Let Me Talk with Brad. Do it by yourself. What's that smell? But that's hard to do in wood. Well, it's also hard to communicate smells over, you know, earwaves. It's tough to hear smell.

Unless you're, what is that, a cinescope, whatever that's called, you know, where you taste colors and you hear smells and all that shit. Remember that? Yeah. Coming back. Do you have anything unusual like that? What's the one thing that Brad Garrett has that nobody knows, that you've got a weird little trick,

or are you good at something that no one knows? Do you have a little talent that we should know about? No. No, I have. Actually, I have two. Come on. I have. If you say hemorrhoids.

No, everyone knows that. I have two little people living in my basement. Really? Yeah. What are their names? Steven and Fletch. But I'll tell you what about them. They're, they're good workers. They're good people. You know, I pay them in jelly beans and bourbon. So it isn't like they're not happy.

What are they making? What are they producing for you? Actually they, uh, I started a small bakery here in the house. The wife cooks, uh, b actually, bakes really well. So we need a couple people around just to, I don't want to say need the dough, but just kind of roll around in it. When you do it with hands or a roller, you don't get the yeast settling. That works. Trevor and Fletch.

I really don't have anything that's not for sale Brad what have you been doing during the pandemic to keep yourself from losing your mind have you done something this isn't like I've lost my fucking mind I just told you I had little people

in my basement it's legal in Southern California it's legal to had little people in my basement. It's legal. You don't think I've lost the crackers? In Southern California, it's legal to have little people in your house. That's true. Actually, I've been, I've really, I love the alone time. I'm not a, I'm a little bit of a hermit. So that hasn't been too rough. My family doesn't care if I get

COVID. So everyone's coming and going. Right. But I've just been really just kind of laying low and just I've been doing a lot of driving. I replaced I'll tell you what I did do. I learned how to replace a couple light bulbs

in one of my cars. I replaced the light in the glove box. Nice. And one of the tasers on the rear. And I've been doing that. I hate to read. Yeah, hate it. Hate it.

Was doing the puzzles for a couple, three weeks. The wife tried to get me to watercoloring a little bit because I'm known for my dexterity and small touch. And so I tried that, but what I miss more is the restaurants. You know, I'm a bit of a foodie and I miss the restaurants. And some of the, you know, the last month I've visited a couple people in the masks and the social distancing. But I'm like, you know, I don't want to get, I'm not a germaphobe, but I'm like,

where am I going to go? That's really going to be worth it. Yeah. That's been tough. Yeah. That's been the argument. I don't think we know what it is. I don't think anyone knows what it is. I think it's frightening how all the, all the, uh, I mean the side effects of after you have it, you know, I know people who have gotten it. I know people that now have it. I know folks that lost relatives and it's like, everyone is different when they have it or feels different or, or not the same after I'm talking to young people. And I don't know if anyone knows what, what this thing is, you know? Yeah. I mean, I think, I think we're, I think we're better off

just sitting out the, you know, sitting it out, you know what I mean? It's just, we'll figure, I think it's going to figure itself out at some point and we're going to get some relief from it. And you know, you, you are someone that I've listened to online. You beat Trump to it. You said drink bleach far before he did. That was a, that was a Brad Garrett suggestion. You said drink bleach. It's going to clean it right out of you. I remember that you tweeted it. Well, I got a little, I got a little trouble in area 51. I got a little problem with the dumper. And I always have. I've tried bleach. There was a time

I would SOS pads. I don't know if that's before your time. No, we still have them. You still got them? Just right around the edge. Just to keep it. I don't want to say the taint but I call it

the the dead zone but yeah I I don't know I don't think this wacko is going to leave I think he's going to have to be removed when he loses

I think what's going to happen this is my prediction I've said this before I'll say it again I think the asteroid is coming. I think what's going to happen, this is my prediction. I've said this before. I'll say it again. I think the asteroid's coming for us, and I'm ready. I'm ready for it to hit us, and let's end all this shit right now. We'd had a good run. We tried. Well, that's what I was saying earlier.

We tried. Yeah, that's what I was saying earlier. We tried to save the turtles. We got rid of straws, and now the straws are tried to save the turtles uh we got rid of straws and now um with straws are back and the turtles are are uh doing a lot more coke they're doing way more coke than they used to yeah it's insane straws are back we're just we're ruining the environment the whales are blind all the whales are blind uh the bees are gay i mean we just we yeah it's over we've done we've done all the damage that

we were going to do. That's it. We did it all. Do you really believe that? Or, or, or, or, I think, I think, I do think, I think mother nature is going to reset itself on us. I think, uh, we'd be very bold. I think it's a very bold, um, assumption that we're such special beings that we deserve to live long that, um, I've talked about this on stage in, in, in a joke where this used to be frozen for millions of years. One time it rained on earth for 10,000 years. So what makes us think that we're, that this isn't going to end early or, or clip us in a different way? I really believe that. I think we're very bold to think that nothing tragic is going to happen at once while we're on this rock. I think it probably

might. There's a better chance that it will than it won't, in my opinion. Well, your show sounds really funny. And you know what? You can see comedy on the sign when you walk in right well uh at the end of it at the end of it i say you're right well the the end of it at the end of the joke can i finish the joke because at the end of the joke i do say and the biggest problem with all this who did this to the environment whose fault is this the jews and that's that it kills yay it kills it kills right Yay! It kills. Right. So funny and accurate. See? That's so hysterical, man. No, it's my thing. Who knows? I know I can't afford you,

but you've got to really... I'll tell you what I'll do. Work the club, because you don't need money. Work the club, and I'll make you a sign that says Whiskey Ginger, but it'll be on both sides. Oh. Regardless of where the audience is, and it can turn.

Okay. It can turn. Okay. You know what, Brad? You sold me. Just think about it, man. You would be wonderful there. But that's an interesting point.

Now, very quickly, because I have a couple callers I want to get on. Okay. But very quickly, when it rained i have a couple callers i want to get on okay but very quickly uh when it rained 10 000 days again is this a uh is this a discovery channel thing where where did where's the 10 000 days ancient aliens i thought it was 40 it was ancient aliens taught me that 10 000 days they approximated it rained one time on earth. 10,000. And they told you this when? When? When they brought you on the mothership?

I was halfway through a joint, and I remember vividly, they said 10,000 days, years, months. Brad, I know history, all right? No, I was just going to say. You want me to name the presidents? You want me to knock it out? Washington, Van Buren, Jackson, Cleveland, Clinton, Bush, Bush, Trump.

Okay. I got already saying no. It's, you got, this is of course, Whiskey Ginger. We usually have a drink on it or tell regaled stories of old. You got sober how many years ago? I got sober 23 years ago. Because the reason I ask is because. I'll talk about any of it. Just today on Twitter, I saw Richard Lewis had announced this was his 26th year sober date. Do you guys have any connection? Yeah. Do you guys have any, is that a bonding moment for

you? We do. We've talked about addiction a lot. When I was starting out he was you know an amazing influence I didn't have anywhere near the talent so I would just go watch him at a club and then I would go put my head in the oven and drink but yeah he got sober a few years before me and I was always very open and vocal about it and you know one of the great things about Richie is he he's happy to talk about it. He's not preachy. You know, he's not judgmental about it. And, you know, I kind of I kind of got clean my own way. A.A. is amazing. The program is obviously it works. It's incredible. Um, but I, I just, I just stopped. I did a ton of therapy. I did a ton of therapy before. Um, I did a lot

after I'm one of those guys that, you know, uh, I'm in group therapy alone right now which is very uh it's you know i get a lot of time in but uh i just when i had to stop i just had to stop you know i just had an incredible constitution of by the time i i felt it uh i was in bogota you know what mean? I was like one of those guys and a very, very happy drunk and a big weed guy, weed, weed. And, and you know, my brother would say, why don't you just light the fucking bag on fire and just shove it in your mouth? You know, it was like, people were like amazed. I had no off switch. I would go from a, this is a beautiful evening to uh uh being in a coma right now um i was ubering uh you know in the in the 80s people didn't know what uber was i was ubering in the 80s you're just getting in people's cars is that what you're saying you're just

people's cars and went, home, home. And they're going, I don't know you. And then that's when the big Jew hands would come around from the headquarters. But yeah, but back to Richard. He's amazing. He's a legend. When I was on Till Death, a show that no one saw a few years ago. I saw it. Brad, I saw it and I loved it.

You're the guy. Thank you. Talk about worried about doing television. It was so funny. We really thought we really thought Jolie and I would talk about it and she played my wife and she's really, really

funny and outspoken and just honest and a real a real broad and i call her that so i don't feel that that's you know that's what they are we call them what they are brad of course so much fun but we really thought you know our ratings were so low that we really thought that they like there was maybe a year like the last year that they forgot we were on we literally said the it was like and and because shit was getting canceled left and right that was higher rated and we're like i'm telling'm telling you, they don't know we're here, you know? And then one night we had a showing. And those are the days, you know, you get the – well, they still do it,

but it's calibrated differently or calculated. I don't think it's calibrated. See, again, Washington, Thurman, Munson. Go Grover. Grover, Cleveland, and Grover, Munson. Go Grover. Grover Cleveland and Grover from Sesame Street. They were consecutive. Bush-Bush Clinton. Bush-Bush Clinton, which I love.

Yeah. We aired one night. It was an original airing and we got like a, uh, we got a 0.05. Holy shit. Okay. So not, not, not 0.5, 0.05. And I'm like this, you know, I would call and get the overnights. Why?

I don't, I don't, I mean, they should have gone, please don't call, you know, I would call and get the overnights. Why? I don't, I mean, they should have gone, please don't call. You know, I mean, something. So I go, man, that is, that is, that's got to be him. The phone rings. At that time it was, you know, the head of comedy for Fox. Very, very nice guy. He's now, he's now at Applebee's. And he said, listen, Brad, you know, the numbers have been, have been tumbling. I went,

no, I know. And he said, last night you got a 0.05 and, you know, we're going to, you know, that's, and I go, well, how many, how many households is that? I said, I'm just, and they, and he went, I got to tell you, I, I, I'd have to find out. He didn't even know what a.05 was. And, you know, very, very, you know, he was a guy who had a comedy that I think was an accountant at one time. You know how it works. Yeah. He used to be a car salesman. Now he's an executive at the biggest comedy network.

Yeah, exactly. And he goes, so, you know, we're going to pull it. And I said, all right. I said, listen, thank you for the opportunity. You know, they were all, it was really, it was Sony, it was Fox. They were awesome to work with, very supportive. They tried everything. And then people just, they weren't, people weren't buying it.

It's part of what we do. So he goes, you know, out of our respect to you and the show, anything, any idea, you know, before we call it a day, you know, and I should, you know, I've been thinking. I said, air two more episodes and I just try it. And I guarantee you, I can get you to a zero. Okay? And it was like silent. It didn't land. And he went, why would you want to do that?

And I said, no, we're at a 0.05. and I said, no, we're at a 0.05. I said, any big shot can jump up to a 0.6 or a 0.09, but imagine to say we're at zero, that no one is watching. I said, that's going to go gonna go on yeah all right well thanks it doesn't even like good one or it was so that's what happens though you you get involved in comedy and you realize oftentimes not all the time but oftentimes people that run comedy whatever companies or production

companies but that they have no sensibility of comedy. And it's, and it's really scary because you think, well, people that perform comedy don't want to do those jobs. Right. So who has those jobs? It's the weirdest thing. You're like, I don't know who, because anybody that had a really good, anybody has a good comedy, you know, a good grasp on it. They would want to do it or be involved in it more. So when a lot of times you meet these people, not all the time time but a lot of times you meet them and you're like this there's

no wonder that this is falling to pieces this guy doesn't get even the slightest comedy like right no wonder question that because it's never meant i mean hire a guy that wrote comedy that for years yeah a little or a guy who's directed comedy or a or how about an actor who right who's has a track record of doing some you know and you know just and it's the same thing with you know with the drama department there are so many unemployed people that would want an executive job that could kill it who 20 years ago really knew what they were doing yeah really put out some great products some great you know knows the difference of of uh i mean if you're going to get an opinion if one person's going to hold that mallet over your head as to what have it be someone that's been in the trenches right i mean that makes the most sense

i feel like that's that's i guess going back to what we talked about before, full circle, as we say in the business. I think that's my trouble variables in presenting comedy on television which is why new media i.e this or sketches or online shows it's just they've taken off because there's less um fingers you know trying to trying to get that's what makes it so difficult to make something great you know like you've been lucky that you've you've had great shit on TV. I've been lucky. I've been lucky. That's a good question. It's super rare. And it was a different era. You know, it was a different... Now, on your show,

because it's Netflix, right? It's Hulu. It's FX and Hulu. Okay. All right. And those people are kind of... I mean, FX and... I mean, they're doing some amazing...

Oh, my God. Yeah, they really are. I get the feeling they kind of let you do your thing. They let the creatives and the showrunners, here's the keys, lock up at night. We trust, is it more, it's got to be more of that than the network thing. By far.

Yeah, no, it's because FX has always been that way. And I think Landgraf gets all this credit for. He's amazing. Yeah, and truly deserves it of just letting it. Once you pick good people like anything else, micromanaging doesn't do you any good. Once you've picked people that are good at the thing, why would you keep bugging them with your viewpoint?

When you paid them, are you paid them the money to do the thing? Let them go do the thing. I mean, it's very strange when you get hired for a job and then someone micromanages you you're like well then why the fuck did you want me you could have gotten anybody to do this could have gotten me right you know that's what's that you know what they say to me sometimes as a threat they go you're you're not careful santino we'll just

get brad garrett to replace you and and right it's there it is there's your cab is here listen I gotta get on the train but this has been so when they say get Brad Garrett you probably go do it fucking do it do it I don't get the call I know you would

plug Dave because I want people I have to tell you, people in the industry are saying, you got to watch this show. Yeah, yeah, it's great. It has to make you feel great. It does, it does.

But it's also, it came on the heels of starting the pandemic. So I was kind of like, of course, another thing that, you know, it's champagne problems. But when we shot I'm Dying Up Here, I did two seasons in the course of three and a half years. I mean, it was a huge chunk of time to do two seasons of a television show and this thing's going to be the same thing. I feel

like it's going to be another, it's a long time before we get to shoot again. And, and that's, it's just hard sometimes. So, so it's a, it's a, but for the most part, I am, I am happy about it. High class problems, as you just said. High class problems. High class problems. Would you consider therapy, Andrew? No. No. Have you ever had it?

No, I have. You know, I have had therapy. In fact, I'll tell you the best moment I ever had in therapy was- When they validated. What's that? When they validated your parking. No, they don't. No, they don't. I have to park on the street and I walk, but I leave myself 15 minutes on each end.

Sure. He, he, uh, the gentleman that gave me therapy, um, I didn't really enjoy his, his vibe from the jump. He yawned in the middle of me talking about my father's addiction. And, uh, really that's therapy to me. I'm like, I just, I doesn't, maybe it's not for me. I don't know. I've tried a bunch of different ways. You know what my therapy was, Brad,

the stage. Honestly, I missed that. The best way I could get stuff out and feel better was talking it out with my old lady, the old bag, as I call her, um,

or going and, and, and trying out new shit on stage like That, to me, helps a ton. Okay. See, if I had an act, it would probably be cathartic for me. You don't. But it's not. I'm spitting on people.

I won't work. Yeah. That's great. You're blessed to have it. You're an amazing stand-up. I'm not kissing your ass because I'm already on the show, and I can't wait to be back. But you've got so much going for you, man. And you got chops. You're a wonderful actor. And there's

brilliant stand-ups out there that can't make that leap. So be patient, be good to yourself. I'm trying. Do you see, this is therapy for me right now, honestly, more than anything. Of course it is. Listen, do you think I'm doing this for any other reason? Oh, I'm doing Andrew's podcast. I'm so excited. No. No, if I can help you or you take a tidbit away or you say to yourself, God, if he can drive a Ferrari, I should have 10. That's what I want you to feel after I leave.

Well, how about this? Give us, we usually leave, our guests usually leave the show. I usually walk off camera, but I don't need to because you're not here. You leave us with a little hint of your wisdom. It's usually a word or a phrase that you say directly into camera and you just end the episode that way. Tell us your little Brad's word of wisdom if you have something like that. Stay grateful. Stay grateful. That's awesome. That's awesome. That's it. Yeah. Brad. And remember, Andy.

Yeah. Can I call you Andy? No. No matter how it goes, we're doing what we love and not many people can do that. That's a fact. Brad, thank you.

This was awesome. I really appreciate you. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. We're not going to kiss. We're not going to kiss. Not in this climate, Brad. You know what? Be well. Thank you. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. We're not going to kiss. We're not going to kiss. Not in this climate, Brad. You know what?

Be well. Thank you for having me. I'm a huge fan. I wish you everything, man. Thank you, brother. In here, we pour whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey. You are that creature in the ginger beer. Sturdy and ginger.

Like vampires, the ginger gene is a curse. Gingers are beautiful. You owe me $5 for the whiskey and $75 for the horse. Gingers are hell no. This whiskey is excellent. Ginger. I like gingers.