Whiskey Ginger with Andrew Santino - Broken Lizard

Episode Date: April 21, 2023

Santino sits down for gobs of fun with the boys from Broken Lizard and stars of Super Troopers, and Beerfest, Kevin Heffernan, Steve Lemme, and Jay Chandrasekhar! We got auto accidents. We got stories about P. Swayz, Snoop Dogg and so much more. Strap in right meow! Also, make sure you check out their new movie Quasi out now on Hulu! #brokenlizard #supertroopers #beerfest #quasi #whiskeyginger #podcast ============================== SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS RABBIT HOLE $5 OFF with Promo Code: WHISKEY https://rabbitholedistillery.com/drizly SQUARESPACE Get that site up and running now! 10% off your order https://squarespace.com/whiskey SUNDAY Get 20% OFF YOUR ORDER! https://getsunday.com/whiskey20 MYBOOKIE Use PROMO CODE: WHISKEY For you 1st deposit bonus! https://mybookie.website/WhiskeyGinger ======================== Follow Andrew Santino: https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino/ https://twitter.com/CheetoSantino Follow Whiskey Ginger: https://www.instagram.com/whiskeyging... https://twitter.com/whiskeyginger_ Produced and edited by Joe Faria IG: @itsjoefaria Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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What up, Whiskey Ginger fans? Welcome back to the show. If it's your first time joining the show, welcome to the show. Like it, subscribe it, leave a comment down below for the Algo Rhythm. We got a good one today. It's the Broken Lizard Boys. Them Broke Lizard Boys, they got a new movie out. Please go see it. Okay. Get on the internet and go watch their movie or I'm going to come yell at you. Uh, they are the proprietors, inventors, and geniuses, of course, behind beer fest and super troopers. Uh, and they got a good one out for you right now called quasi. See it. Love it. Also come see me. I'm on the road. I'm on the road with Bobby Lee. Me and Boobie are on the road

doing our thing, friends. BadFriendsPod.com. BadFriendsPod.com for tickets. BadFriendsPod.com. Come see us in your city. We're coming through. We're adding dates. BadFriendsPod.com.

Enough rambling from me. Let's go to the episode. In here, we pour whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey. You're that creature in the ginger beard. Sturdy and ginger. Like vampires, the ginger gene is a curse.

Gingers are beautiful. You owe me $5 for the whiskey and $75 for the horse. Gingers, oh hell no. This whiskey is excellent. Ginger. I like gingers. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back is excellent. Ginger. I like gingers. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to Whiskey Ginger. My guests today are some of the favorite

people on earth. My favorite people on earth. I say that for all my guests, but I mean it once again today. It's the Broken Lizard Boys. And you know what's really broken is Jay's car because Kevin hit it in the parking lot. I think you're overstating. Well, you know what? I really do. We all watched you hit his car in the parking lot. I turned my tire and

the rubber of the tire rubbed against his car. And yet you felt compelled to come out to his car and try to rub off the scar. I don't know if he's an asshole about it. What did you say to me? He was pissed. What did you say to me right before you hit my car? I said I got it, right?

I said it's cool. I got it. I have sensors. I have sensors. Not. I have sensors. Not in the tires, though. But you brag about how you have that car with like the 360 degree fucking camera angle. Yeah, it's great, man. Where was it now? It's nothing touched but the rubber of the tire. You need a few more degrees, pal, because you hit my car.

The only reason you're still standing is because he's your friend. If you dinged somebody else, like Andres, Spanish guy, if you dinged his car the way you did his in the parking lot, he'd fucking murder you.

I guess he would, but that's why we're friends because if you did it to me, I'd be like, I don't want to mind fuck it. You know how cool, I didn't say you don't worry about it. I didn't even look at it.

Whoa, big flex. You know what he did? I don't know if you saw this. When you were down there rubbing the thing, he threw a $100 bill right at your fucking feet. Oh, he did? Yeah. Okay. He's peeled one off When you were down there rubbing the thing, he threw a $100 bill right at your fucking feet. Oh, he did?

Yeah. Okay. He's peeled one off and threw it. Take that. He was more offended. He's like, would it just hit me a traverse? He was bummed about that. That's what it was.

It's a fucking Chevy, bro. I drive a Chevy. Hot Tesla guy, dude. I know. Those are fancy, man. Fancy cars. Boys, thank you so much for coming, and cheers to everybody in the room. Cheers to you.

Cheers. Cheers. Cheers to the boy in the air. Although, sadly, Jay is not drinking with us. He's drinking alone on his island of vodka and LaCroix. You know what else is... Because he's afraid of bourbon. You know what else is sad?

You didn't want any ice. No, I don't. You know why I don't have ice? Because men drink whiskey and bourbon neat. And we usually... We do reserve ice sometimes when little boys come and have little vodka sodies. You make like an ice reservation. Is that what you're trying to say? little vodka sodas. You make an ice reservation, is that what you're trying to say?

You reserve it? Yeah, I do. I'm a racist against ice. That story doesn't work. I'm a racist against ice. No, we don't like ice. We don't like ice over here. But also, this bottle of vodka, which by the way is yours to take home. Really? Yeah, because we don't really drink vodka. I'll drink it very quickly.

You can have it quickly I love this vodka you can have all of it the boys are here and thank you before we go into too much tree diatribes of nonsense because I can feel it coming with all of us I want to say to you guys we've met for the first time

I've been a fan of yours for a long time which is kind of surreal to have you on the show knowing you guys only through your films appreciating what you've done I've been a fan of yours for a long time, which is kind of surreal to have you on the show, knowing you guys only through your films, appreciating what you've done. So much respect to you. You're all very funny and talented, except for one of you, and you'll figure out who it is. Who it is. Okay, okay. But I really do think you guys have made some phenomenal shit.

Thank you. And we'll talk about what you're making now and what's going to come out in a little bit, but I just want to get that out of the way. Great stuff. You guys are so funny, man. So good, so talented. And I was sucking his dick before we started going on here. Yeah, we were all doing it. It's part of the game.

How much I like Santino. He was mine. When you and Andres were speaking Spanish to each other, and Spanish, I call it fanish, when you're like Fanboying Spanish? Well, yeah, fanboy Spanish. It's like, fanish is like, oh, that's Spanish. I said, Andres, de donde eres tu? Spain.

Y tu? Mi papa es de Argentina. Oh, habla si. Yeah, Fanish, Fanish. Oh. It's a fan Spanish. Yeah, they're excitable. That's all it is.

It's real excited. I'm glad you made a connection with the man. Good for you guys. I know, listen, bro, let me ask you a question. Is this like a argumentative podcast? Cause it feels like that well i'm an argument because you're redheaded yeah that's right why it's embedded in her and a bourbon guy redhead bourbon guy that's you know what that is that's a fight waiting to happen you know what

let's start this over let's start this in a way that you want it st patrick's day did you get into a fight no man i'm too old that's not uh i also i'm very anti st patrick's day him too me too me too me too, because it's bullshit. It's amateur hour. First of all, you do know St. Patrick was Roman. He was Roman Catholic. He was a fucking Italian guy. He wasn't even Irish, which is my first biggest offense about the whole thing.

That's incredible. But aren't you also Italian? Yeah, but then why is St. Patrick celebrating a guy who wasn't a saint of Ireland? That never made sense to me. A, you do any research, you find out what's the old wives' tale that you know about St. Patrick? What did he do in Ireland? He drove the prostitutes out of Ireland. He drove the prostitutes out, that's right.

I thought it was the snakes. Same thing, dude. Read into it a little bit, dude. It's a metaphor, bro. They both take your wallet and they slither away. Yeah, they drove the snakes out of Ireland. That's the old wives' tale you've heard, right? Yeah. St. Patrick.

Right. In the history of the island of Ireland, there has never, ever been a recorded snake. There are no snakes on the island. It does not exist. Isn't that why? Because they're gone. Isn't that why though? No, my friend.

Because they don't live there. Snakes were in reference to Protestant, the Protestant religion. The Catholics were to drive the Protestant religion out of Ireland. So through massacre- Get the fuck out of here. That's what it was. And don't come back. Don't you come back.

And don't come back ever. Also, this is an island laced with the worst luck on earth of people that a million died because potatoes caught AIDS. It was like, this is not, let's not celebrate this place. Did they not have four-leaf clovers at that time? Also, another crazy anomaly. It's three-leaf clovers. Four happens like one in every 8,000. That's the point, though, isn't it?

No, it's not good. It's a bad thing. It's a genetic mutation. I found a lot. Just like redheads. Don't get me started. And by the way, Andrew, it's potatoes. Not potatoes.

It's potatoes. It's potatoes. Maybe where you're from, it's potatoes. I'm from New York City. Potatoes. Potatoes. Yeah, we're having some potatoes. Potatoes. Bacon's potatoes. It's potatoes. Maybe where you're from, it's potatoes. I'm from New York City. Potatoes. Potatoes. Yeah, we're having some potatoes. Potatoes.

Bacon egg cheese. Where in New York are you from? From Manhattan. You're a city kid? Yeah. Oh, wow. He's from the Tony Upper East Side. Is this a fancy city boy we've got in our presence?

I like it. Went to a private school. Hey, yo. All you kids met at college, yes? At Colgate. Colgate University. And what was the name of the fraternity? Beta Theta Pi.

Now do this chant. You guys out of here. I'm sorry. Do the thing. Do the thing. We were known as a singing fraternity. Like when we pledged, they gave us a song book. Shut up.

Are you being serious? I'm totally serious. We know a whole bunch of songs. Yeah. But the greatest thing about that place, the songs of that place, was there was a lim bunch of songs. Yeah. But the greatest thing about that place, the songs of that place, was there was a limerick competition. And so we would have this insulting limerick competition,

which was associated with a night called Beef and Wine. Beef and Blow. Which was nicknamed Beef and Blow because you were going to blow eventually. And you did a limerick about a guy like, I know a guy whose name is Kevin. You know, and then you just rip him. Well, give it to me.

When I fuck his mom, she is in heaven. Okay, laddie. And then he has to drink and blow. And then he comes back at you, and on and on. Right, but then at some point... I was always really bad at it. I was always the guy blowing. I was the guy puking.

Well, then what happens is you do the blow dance. Somebody's like, do you want to see him blow? And the whole house goes, yes, we want to see him blow. See him blow? See him blow. Whoa. And then everyone dances in a circle while he just chugs until he blows. So this was a gay fraternity.

You guys were in a little cute. They all are. Yeah, no, that's true. They all are. You guys, drink, drink, drink. Yeah, we did that. Let's see who falls asleep first and who wakes up with who. I never did fraternity life. And you know what? I was jealous, but they Yeah, we did that. Let's see who falls asleep first and who wakes up with who. I never did fraternity life.

And you know what? I was jealous, but they wouldn't let me in. Nobody wanted me. Did you try? Not really. What school? I have Arizona State University, baby. The greatest.

The Harvard of the West. That's the one in Tempe? Or is that the one in? Tempe. Yeah, Tempe. The other one is in Mexico. It doesn't count. The other one's really hot.

U of A is trash. Yeah, okay. No, but I didn't join only because I had a bunch of friends that were in fraternities, and I learned the process freshman year of what I had to go through through Rush. Right. And I'm such an anti-authority, hard-headed asshole that I was like, I'm not fucking letting somebody my own age boss me. I get bossed around by adults, not a guy who's a year older than me.

So I just never could buckle down and do it. But the fun that they had that I saw sometimes made me very jealous. I was very jealous. It was gobs of fun. It was gobs, heaps. Yeah. Oodles of fun.

And you could just make fun of those guys that tried to boss you around. I mean, you know. Yeah, no, but I didn't want to, I just didn't want the thing of like the, okay, pledge, eat the thing and the thing. Because I would have, I'd have gotten into a fight

and then I'd have been like, kick this guy out. But those guys are the idiots. Everyone makes fun of those guys. Those are the guys who got the shit kicked out of them. See, I should have done it. We also had the beta sweetheart thing, which is like, if you shit up with a new girlfriend, all the brothers would get around you and go,

and then you'd have to get down on a fucking knee and be like, wouldn't you like to be a beta sweetheart? It was terrible. because it was often with somebody maybe hooked up with once and you're like oh no this is gonna be the last night now i gotta do this damn thing that's good though that makes you think about your life decisions bunch of guys in blazers right and then the second you're done they're like do we want to see him blow and the whole house goes yes we want to see him blow see him and then it's chug

motherfucker chug motherfucker that. Chug, motherfucker. That's great. Chug, motherfucker. See, I miss this. I miss those moments. But it's also where we met. Well, that's the beauty. And now we've worked together

for 30 years. And you guys have two other people that you work with. Yeah. But you refuse to put them in with you guys. Yeah, they're second tier. They're not camera friendly.

Right, those are B-level, C-level guys. Yeah, they don't come to Whiskey Ginger. Yeah, no chance. I was just going to say. You can put them in the lobby we'd let them we let them wait yeah we let them wait outside but all you guys met at school and then that was the impetus

for you guys to to form broken lizard but then uh as time has gone on as i followed you guys from a distance through the window not all of you guys will do stand-up but you guys all all do perform together right yeah yeah well uh we did a couple years back you know lemmy and i had never really done a lot of stand-up before and jay because they were afraid yeah we were totally scared is what we said totally scared and you know i scared i scared that's really worse for you guys that's what we say i mean there's also wasn't the the motivation you know we were like we didn't do it you know and then and then we went on tour together. We did a live tour 10 years ago, whatever it was,

and started doing it and then loved it. Yeah. And then Lemmy and I turned around for about 10 years, right? Yeah. We turned around for 10 years. Three specials. Yeah. And what about now, though? You keep plugging away, right?

Well, but we have, because we've had this TV show for the last five years now. Yeah, four or five years. Tacoma FD. Tacoma FD. Tacoma FD. I know it very well. Yeah, yeah. I feel like I know somebody

that's on the show. I feel like I have a friend that's on the show. You probably do. I mean, we've got a- You've got so many people on the show. People come through.

Eugene Cordero. Eugene Cordero. Who else? Who else would I may know that's on that show? We've had Sasso on the show. Oh, we had Sasso on the show. Fucking love Will.

Whitney. We talked about Whitney. She was on the show. Yeah, yeah. And that was a bad episode. On the show. I haven't seen it, but I just assumed.

Sasso's the man, though. Sasso is probably one of the, I think he's genuinely one of the most underrated comedic actors I've ever met in my entire career. The guy is so talented. We did a podcast with him, and you would give him a name of a person, and he would never have done the imitation before. He would do it. But he would work it out.

He's like, okay, so he's kind of like, and all of a sudden, boom, he's doing the imitation. Yeah, he's a magician. It's shocking. I've been trying to do Morgan Freeman for a long time. Let would do it. But he would work it out like he's okay. So he's kind of like, and all of a sudden, boom, he's doing the imitation. Yeah, he's a magician. It's shocking. I've been trying to do Morgan Freeman for a long time. Let's hear it. Now, what Andy didn't realize was... That's it. No, no, no, no, no.

You got to keep going. What did Andy not realize? Now, what Andy didn't realize was that the warden needed to have his taxes done. Pretty good. I have a Morgan Freeman too. Let's hear it. This one's from Seven, okay? And there's the gurney's going by with a dead body,

and he goes, So many corpses roll away unavenged. Oh! You want to follow that up, Ev? I feel like you have to. Let's give it a whirl. Let's get canceled. Welcome back to Let's Get Canceled. I've never heard that to. Let's give it a whirl. Let's get canceled. Welcome back to Let's Get Canceled.

I've never heard that before. That's very, very good. That's really good. But that's one of the ones that Sasso did. He's like, I've never done Morgan Fairchild before. Morgan Freeman. And he did it, right? Boom.

Nailed it. And he worked it out in real time. He's like, I think Morgan Freeman, he's somewhere down here in his chest, and his lips are closed all the way around. And then all of a sudden, you're like, that's fucking Morgan Freeman. He's a magician. And he's one of those guys that I don't want to talk about anymore, because he's- Yeah, let's stop talking.

This is way too much- I have a Morgan Freeman thing. Give it to me. Josh, a friend of mine, white guy, comic- Got to lay in the white guy part, don't you? Well, there's a reason. You just got to sneak it in. There's a reason, right?

Yeah. Gotta lay in the white guy part, don't you? Well, there's a reason. Sneak it in. There's a reason, right? Because he does the best Morgan Freeman. And Morgan Freeman heard him doing himself in a comedy routine. And he called him up.

He had his agent call him up and had him come meet him. And he goes, you're going to do my ADR from now on. And so for the past, it might be 15 years, this white dude goes into the ADR booth and records all of Morgan Freeman's replacement lines. He has, on films that Morgan Freeman has been nominated or even won an Oscar, my friend Josh has some lines. But does Josh get a little kickback when he's getting a piece of the Oscar? He gets a one-time payment. Oh, man.

Poor Josh. Resents? No resents? No resents. No resents. No resents? No. Damn, bro.

No. I don't want to talk about money, but let's talk about it a little bit. Let No resents. No resents. No resents. Damn, bro. No. I don't want to talk about money, but let's talk about it a little bit. Let's do it. You guys got a bunch of it. You gave me such a light pour. Do you know? You gave me a light pour. Oh, wow.

You want me to give you a big daddy one? Andres is going to. Andres will get it, right? No. Fancy, get over here. He's a producer. No, no, no. He knows what he's doing.

He's a high-end guy. He's above the line, this guy. It's the fans. I'm getting you. Pour an entire cup of this. Pour all of it into there. He wants what he wants, and he gets what he wants. Keep going, keep going, keep going.

There you go. That's good. Thank you, fans. Oh, my God. It's also like an $800 pour. That's good. I like that. Pretty good.

I need to know this for my own benefit of mind, right? Like, you guys are compared with... Look, we don't need to live in the my own benefit of mind, right? Like you guys are compared with, and look, we don't need to live in the past, but we have to. Your Super Troopers is compared to the same kind of beautiful cult, like lightning in a bottle thing that my buddies from Always Sunny did, right? That it was like, they created this amazing pilot.

They shot it for almost nothing. And then it exploded. You guys, similar story of Super Troopers. I want to know, did you guys make that money back? Or did the distributors make all that money back? Did you guys ever make any money on that? We made some money, but we had a guy who was an investor. That made most of the money.

And when everyone bailed on us, he was the guy who's there for us. And he said, I'll write the check for this movie. And he got a lot of the money. He got most of the money. Yes, but- And he's a great guy. That movie is still making a lot of money every year. Yeah.

And so we get money every year- Because it's a cult classic. From that movie. And the studio, God bless their hearts, they made so much money they couldn't hide it. And so, because it was made for a million, it was sold for three and a quarter, it made 20 in the theaters. I thought it said 28 in the theaters.

Well, there's a worldwide too. And then it made north of 100 on video. And so they were like, So the car accident in the parking lot didn't really matter. Nah, it doesn't matter. I got 10 of those. I got 10 of those. I got 10 of those. And then after years, we were like,

any more money there? They're like, no, we're feeling like that's all the money. And I'm like, okay, so we'll audit you. And we audited them and they're like, hey, we found another 10 million here. Yeah, it was in the back. You know what? Marcus, who cleans up, threw it in the back. Yeah, we had no idea it was right there.

All the fake mustaches and the sunglasses there was just sitting there the reason I the reason I say that because money is gaudy

but I just I wanted to bring it up because I had I had a conversation the irony of this is staggering when I talked about having you guys on the show I was with

Pete Farrelly shooting this movie and Pete and I talked about the sensation of that movie yeah and about how that was like done for such a small budget. And it was so successful and it proved that it wasn't all the bullshit monetary,

look at the, look at the, look at the, it was about how good the content was. And we said, what other movies lie in this category that do that? And we were, got into this diatribe of like, did anybody make money off of that? And one of of the biggest ones the biggest sad stories of all time was uh blair witch project where it made so much money and do you know literally none of those actors made any money literally none of those actors they made day rates and they never saw another fucking dime and almost everyone on that film that was an actor on it or whatever did not work again. And if they did. You're supposed to spin that into that. You're supposed to spin it into more.

It was so sad. But like we looked it up and the movie itself, you know, is one of the highest grossing under budget horror movies of all time. And I was like, they had to give some of those guys something. And so we started doing research together. And sure enough, all of them got fucking nothing. I think the highest paid person was like a couple grand maybe so we just went on this whole

thing about how the industry does this great disgusting trick of being like hey but there's more to come we'll see what happens now you stick around kid and the lucky thing is we were the filmmakers right so we were kind of the other guys who did the same situation as us as Napoleon Dynamite I've heard this as well they took them to court too and the case was so good that they settled

right because they didn't have it because it was such a pop it wasn't like a questionable like wow what's the scale that film was massive everybody fucking I mean it was cultural there's a statue of Napoleon Dynamite outside of their offices right right

at Fox lot that's right they were like should we take the statue down before the court case I feel like that's a good idea that was when they were taking down statues

of racists and bigots they were like we should also take down Napoleon just in case the bronze Napoleon Dynamite statue but that's it is such a true thing in our business

that I think more light needs to be shed as a comedian and a performer the one thing we joke about is how we get taken our whole careers. We get fucked. We got taken our whole lives. We got, we worked for no money. And most of the time you were just happy to be there. And not like I'm saying like, you know, we deserve everything of it. But as you get older, you go, holy shit, are you guys taking all this fucking money and giving us none of it?

And you started to learn it as you get older. And I, holy shit, are you guys taking all this fucking money and giving us none of it? And you started to learn it as you get older. And I think the business is getting more exposed, which kind of a good thing. Like the curtains being pulled by even the audience members are like, that's bullshit. I suppose it is. But the streamers have taken a position of like,

we can't share our data with you. How many people? And you're like, why not? And they're like, we don't have to. Yeah, no, that's, well, I think that's flipping too. I think all that shit is changing. But the more that you stay in this independent lane

that you guys started in a little bit where you reserve your right to write it and make it, well, you still, then you own enough of it. That's the way to control things. So when we went back into Super Troopers 2,

we controlled some of it. Yeah. And we went, we raised the money ourselves, which allowed us to control some of it. Well, you guys did a studio offer to give you guys money up front. No. And you guys were like, we're going to raise it. No, they weren't going to make the movie at all.

They were going to make it. Fucking crazy. And they said, we'll allow you to make it, but you have to raise this much money to shoot it, and you have to raise this much money to advertise it. Money. But then in that way, they became ultimately, this is at the beginning of the deal, they became the bottom line. Like the money was going to flow through us

and we would pay them, but then that changed. But we did the, we crowdfunded a big chunk of that movie. So we went right to the fans. I remember that, yeah, I remember that. And then so when that happened, we raised whatever it was, 4 million bucks in like 24 hours. Then the studio came back and said,

We'll do the advertising. We'll come in with you as partners. God, it's so funny how they do that, right? Well, it does look, you know what, it's so funny how they do that, right? It does look good. You know what? It does look good. It sounds like every time I take a call from my agent and he's like, you know, that project fucking sucks.

And I'm like, I think I want to do it. And he's like, it's actually pretty good. There's some really good people attached to it. These idiots are always juggling their own lives. Well, because they even said on day one of it, they're like, we would like you to not mention the name of the studio when you do this crowdfunding thing. Seriously? And on day two, they were like, you guys can talk about this. Yeah. Go ahead and throw a name of the studio when you do this crowdfunding thing seriously and on day two they were like you guys can talk about this yeah go ahead and throw a name

in a if you want to and they have a huge poster with their name above everything you're like sure man well so so easy transition into the new movie uh it comes out when uh 420 by the way with the same studio we we love these guys. They keep making our movies. We still have to talk shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's part of the dance. 420, it comes out. Yeah. They put out Super Troopers 2 on 420.

It worked out really well for them. Yeah, it turns out it would. That's our date, apparently, now, for some reason. Well, I mean, you know, I think whether or not you guys are cut from that cloth, your fans definitely smoke pot. Yeah. Yeah, they do. But my dad, he didn't get it. Do you guys all smoke pot? To this point, my dad doesn't get it. Yeah. Yeah, we are. Your fans definitely smoke pot. Yeah. Yeah, they do. But my dad, he doesn't get it.

Do you guys all smoke pot? To this point, my dad doesn't get it. Yeah. Yeah, your dad doesn't get it. I was like, what, 420? He goes, you know, that's Hitler's birthday. That's why we smoke pot. And I was like, what?

I said, it's Hitler's birthday. I love, why did that ever get, how did that get, because 420, you know the history is from Southern California, from 420 meeting outside behind so-and-so. I think it's from San Diego or something like that. But then somehow no one did a background check on 420 to find out if it had offensive ties. It was Hitler's birthday. Nobody knew.

Yeah, like of all the times that we could have just do 421. Well, they're taking 420 back. So fuck Hitler. Yeah, fuck Hitler is right. And I know that's controversial to say these days. I'm glad somebody's coming out with it. That's Hitlerism, bro. There will be a group online that's like,

did you hear what they said about Hitler? It's completely disrespectful. They said, fuck Hitler. So you guys, you guys, look. So 420, yeah. Because it's, the reason I asked that is, and you said yes, you guys all still partake. You still like to smoke grass. It's funny because there are people that I've met over the years

as I've grown in the business that have a weed tie, but they don't smoke weed. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's funny because there are people that I've met over the years as I've grown in the business that have a weed tie, but they don't smoke weed. And it's so common now that I'll meet someone and be like, you don't fucking smoke weed. And they're like, no man, I don't. Like there's a, you guys have heard of the musician Ben Harper. There's the most famous song called burn one down. It's his arguably his most probably played song. I'm gonna burn one down. Keep going, keep going. Okay, hold on one second. Hey, the rights, got to pay for the rights.

Back me up there, boy. No, but I met him and I became buddies with him and I went and saw him live and I asked him, I was like, do you want to get high at all at the show? And he's like, I don't smoke pot. And I was like, are you not anymore? He's like, I don't smoke pot. And I was like, wait, are you not anymore? He's like, I never smoked pot. Whoa.

I wrote that song about one of my best friends from youth who was struggling with smoking too much weed and trying to balance his life with like relationships and family. And he was just like, he was kind of wasted away in Potville. But I was saying, if it was making him happy, then who gives a shit? Yeah.

And he's like, that was the entire basis of that song. I was like wow so you don't smoke he's like no I don't smoke pot at all But in ties entire fan base sure Absolutely like when he plays that song in concert that's when everybody fucking lights up. Yeah me too, man. Yeah I like also what I've seen him. I was like oh, yeah, they got high right now. Yeah We have a weed brand called smoking lizard smoking' Lizard. Smokin' Lizard. Yeah. Like we still smoke pot. But again, the only reason I ask is because I've met enough guys where they're like, nah, man, I don't really.

Yeah. Meanwhile, then there's the other side. I met Wiz Khalifa and was frightened. I did not want to get high with him. Because I was like, once you enter that world with those guys. Sure. You can't say I'm good. There is no such thing as pass a joint.

I'm good. I'm good. Yeah. Because they're like, no, this is what happened. Sure. That was the whole Willie Nelson thing. I mean, we made a movie with Willie Nelson. I mean, Willie Nelson, you can't get away from it. You can't get out of that bus without crawling out of the bus.

He also knew that we were kind of known to be like the younger smokers. And the same thing happened with snoop dogg they when they know you have that reputation they bring out some heavy heavy shit and they try to knock you the fuck out and they do and it works and they do they knock you the fuck snoop for sure I snoop dogg smoked us mute we're on his TV show and by the end of it he was the only one speaking and he was asking us questions. And we would, I mean, you could see this online. Yeah.

And we were all just in a stupor. Numb to the world. In full Highway Patrol costumes. I was wearing sunglasses, thank God. Mute, unable to do the bumper or the promo. I talked to Snoop about a time he smoked with Willie Nelson in Amsterdam. And he goes, that old man knocked me out. willie nelson in amsterdam and he goes that old man knock me out that to me is like uh what you need to have happen with him though it's almost like he has to live up to that as well do you

know what i mean which must be exhausting because there has to be a day when snoop wakes up and is like i don't need i don't really want to smoke with these guys i want to just get a little bit high and do my day but he has to like prepare yeah for to be the snoop all the time you have to put on the show it's like uh our comedian buddy burke kreischer one time we were upstairs to the improv i'll never forget and it was me theo vaughn uh and i think rogan and burke comes upstairs and he's like like exhausted and we're sitting there on the couch i'm looking up at him and he's kind of pacing and we're sitting there on the couch I'm looking up at him and he's kind of pacing

and he looks you know he looks frazzled and I go what's up man he goes I just don't want to take my shirt off anymore I was like

too bad I felt like an agent from the 50s like take your fucking shirt off they want to see the titties that's what they paid for they ain't here for the jokes

they're here for your tits yeah but it is true that you kind of have to do you guys ever feel like with your fans They want to see the titties. That's what they paid for. They ain't here for the jokes. They're here for your tits. Yeah. But it is true that you kind of have to, do you guys ever feel like with your fans, you have to live up to certain expectations that they want you to be? I did a show at the Pemberton Music Festival.

It was me opening, I did an hour, then Norm MacDonald came up after me. Ugh. And we rode up there together and got to know each other and cracking jokes. And we go, my show's at about 7 about 7 30 at the same time

that sound garden is reuniting on the other side of the holy uh six people to come well it's like sound garden on the other side norm's like hey let's go see see the crowd and uh i go there we go there at 7 15 and they're probably i mean it's outdoors right so there's probably like 30 people there. And he goes, hey, nice crowd there, Super Trooper. Way to go, huh? You got a big crowd. And I'm like, fuck, man.

I'm going to do this show in front of nobody? And the guys from the Trailer Park Boys, he goes, no, no, don't worry. Don't worry about that. He's the host of it, sort of. And he goes, give me the camera. And so the camera comes on, and he comes on and all the screens around the place.

He goes, how many people do you want? And I'm like, screens around the place. He goes, how many people you want? And I'm like, 200 would be nice. He goes, 200, you made Super Trooper. I'll give you a thousand. And he goes, hey, you assholes, Super Trooper guy's about to go on stage over here. And I had about 1500 people show up. Holy shit.

And I walk on stage and Norm's watching from the side. And I'm like in the middle of my first opening bit and someone hands me a joint. And I'm like in the middle of my first opening bit and someone hands me a joint and I'm like, okay. So I just take a little pop and they go, finish it! And I'm like, okay. So I smoke that thing and I put it out

and someone hands me a brand new one. And these motherfuckers, I smoked six full joints. And I didn't miss a joke. That's good. That's impressive. And I come off stage and Norm's like,

am I going to have to smoke all that weed? Jesus Christ. And of course he didn't. He goes down there with the cigarette. Fuck you. Yeah.

Dude, the fact that you made it through is impressive. Maybe the high didn't kick in. I was high as a fruit bat. But six, six wouldn't. But the other problem

is that we made a movie called Beer Fest and that's, everyone wants to fucking chug with you. Everyone wants to. And I feel bad for him. Cause like, you know, we would do our meet and greets after our shows

and people would come up and they would just want to chug full beers against him. They didn't care about me. And they would, and he. Wait a minute, they care about you? I feel like I had to say that. You were begging for it. They wanted to make love to you.

They wanted to chug with me. They love you. They want to make love to you. But like a guy would come me. They love you. They want to make love to you. But like a guy would come up and chug with him. And then the next guy would come up and chug with him. And you see all these guys there with their beers. And at some point, like I would have to step in and be like, you guys, he's a human being.

Yeah. You have to, like, you're gonna kill him. No he's not. Let him be. He's landfill. He can do it. He's landfill. You put everyone together.

Hey, if everybody wants chug, everyone did it together. Let's not do one at a time. Yeah. But listen do it. You put everyone together. If everybody wants to chug, everyone did it together. Let's not do one at a time. Yeah. But listen to us. Listen to us. Yeah. Our fans are telling us

they want to drink with us. Well, you know, it gets hard after a while. Our problems could be worse. We're not digging ditches, right? We're not digging ditches. But that is, it's not,

it's like, not the cry me a river thing. People also don't understand that that is an undertaking when everyone is like it's my experience with you and you're like yes but there's 10 000 of you right now right so i i love you but also that's a daunting task to like have to have to have to have to continue to do people don't i think it's it's hard to comprehend because people are like what's my show i pay to see you

it's for me and you guys are doing this for me. And these other people are fucking assholes. They're not big fans. I'm a big fan. And there's a little offshoot of that, which just happens. Like, just do this one. And then you do the chug with them. And they're like, I'll make sure nobody else bothers you. Okay.

I'm going to be your bodyguard. And you're like, I don't. Okay, guy who's walking away in three seconds. That's okay, pal. I don't mean to blow up your spot. That's what they say. Yeah. These fucking guys are assholes.

Don't worry. I'm cool. I got you. I got you. Cool. He's what they say. Yeah, these fucking guys are assholes. Don't worry, I'm cool. I got you. I got you. Cool. He's right here. He's right here. Oh, man.

I'm not going to blow up your spot, dude, but also, yeah, I'm definitely going to blow up your fucking spot. In here, we pour whiskey. Hey, with all this rain we've been having in Los Angeles, California, it was unseasonable amounts of rain. My lawn was getting soaked,

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Like this, and he goes, what's up? And I was like, hey man, like let's transition this into like a normal, you know, like I was like, hey, what's up, man? Like I keep going down here, so maybe he'll go down here. And then he goes, photo, can I get a photo? Almost like rude, like I'm gonna say no. I was like, yeah yeah we do photo man

that's fine and i like go to stand up a little bit and then he's this way with me down in the seat he's like almost pushing me back down and he's like just chill so i'm like like a little boy uncomfortable in the airplane seat i couldn't look more stupid crunched up in the air like yeah thank you and and he takes the phone and he goes like that puts it away and then walks down not good enough i had a dude go ahead go no no i had i was in amsterdam and uh with a bunch of people it was our first day there probably our first hour there we were at a cafe and just you know like the bongs were out on the table we We were just getting settled. And I do, I hear a voice go, I hear you jerk off frogs for a living. And I looked up and I just didn't, I didn't,

it's such a non sequitur in another country on your first day that I was like, huh? He said, I heard you jerk off frogs for a living. I was like, oh, okay, beer fest, right? And he's like, can I shake your hand? I'm like, sure. And he reaches forward and knocks over the dirty bong water onto me. He knocks over the bong all over me this guy but then doesn't

acknowledge it because he's he's nervous yeah and so i'm soaked and he's like can i get a picture and i'm like i'm yeah sure yes yeah and we get up and we take the picture he's like oh my god my friends would be so psyched he's like thank much. And he walks out and never acknowledges that he knocked a dirty bong onto me. He spilled bong water on you? By the way, he goes home to his buddies. He's like, dude, I knocked bong water on that asshole. And we didn't even talk about it. It was great.

He didn't even have the balls to punch me in the face. He didn't fucking flinch. How great is Amsterdam, by the way? You know what? It was fantastic. Yeah, it is really. But not just for the reason you think it's going to be. We took the boat tours through the canals. It's fucking gorgeous no yeah i'm i'm not even the the

weed thing aside is really about that place is just like a it does feel like somebody it's an algorithm place where it's like is it beautiful and are the people really nice and is everything accessible it's like is this checking off like way too many boxes i feel like at some point someone's gonna come out and be like you're all boxes? I feel like at some point someone's going to come out and be like, you're all dead. And you're like, oh, fuck. Because it's almost like too ethereal. It's like a very sweet, pretty, calm, easy place where you're like, what's the shit thing though?

What's the, you know what I mean? Every country I travel to, I'm like, what's the thing that's going to piss me off? I'm going to find it. Like in Australia, I was there for two and a half months. I got some stuff. At the beginning, I was like, it's amazing. And then you're like, well, there's some shit. Well, Sydney's like a fucking...

We went there briefly though. We had an incredible time. Sydney's okay. Sydney's cool. It's just, it's... I think Melbourne is better than Sydney. I love Melbourne. I think Melbourne's one of the coolest cities

I've ever been to. This podcast doesn't air in Australia. Is that what's going on? Yeah, well, they wouldn't understand it, mate. No, but it just I I liked Sydney it just felt uh super manufactured where Melbourne felt like uh it was kind of figuring itself out it was like Sydney was the older brother who's like I know you know like I'm going to finance dad and you're gonna fucking love me and Melbourne was like I'm

gonna paint for a couple of years and I dropped out you know and you're going to fucking love me. And Melbourne was like, I'm going to paint for a couple of years. And I dropped out. And everybody likes that guy more because that guy's more fucking free and weird. You're talking to three guys who couldn't have had a better time in Australia. That's why we're silent. No, I loved it. We had a great time. I loved it.

I loved it. It was just- But we weren't there for a long time. It's where we came up with the idea for Beer Fest in Australia. In Australia. In Sydney? On the road. We did Sydney, Brisbane, Melbourne, and the Gold Coast.

And we were there to promote Super Troopers. We were on 20th Century Fox's dime. Fucking best hotels. Did they private jet you guys over there? No. No, but first class. That was my first class ever. Me too.

Yeah. 20th Bill? 20th Bill? That's good. Super Troopers. The miles you got from that fucking trip that kept me flying free for years. First class to Australian back. But they treated us so well.

It's that one moment in time where you're like, holy shit, so this is what this life is. This is the way these people can get treated. Yeah, but they- Well, that's how they are always treated. That's the difference. The studio guys- But that's the great thing about all the fun that you had there. They know, all the fun that you had there, you know, it was like,

they decided they were going to promote our movie and nobody knew who the fuck we were because Super Troopers didn't come out yet. They took us to a beer garden. Oh, shit. And so they took us

to a beer garden and we just went there and nobody knew who we were and they put us up on the stage and they announced. In cop uniforms. We weren't in the cop uniforms. Oh, we weren't, okay.

No, but they put us up on the stage and announced that we were Americans and that we were here to drink with all the people in the beer garden and people went fucking crazy. They were like bachelor parties

and all kinds of shit. They wanted to fucking kill us. It was like... We were going to chug against them. Come here, mate. You know? Yeah. It was like compete against...

It was like you were a circus act. Yeah, well... Drink against the Americans. We chugged a lot at our college so we were like, let's challenge the top five guys in the room to a chug race. And we said some offensive things. You said...

Go ahead. What did I say? I can't remember. What did you say? You said... I don't know. Crocodile Dundee can suck my dick. That's pretty much what I said. And then you went after Russell Crowe.

Sure. Well, much what I said. And then you went after Russell Crowe. Sure. Well, yes, I did. But he had just, that was when he would just, if you remember, he had just thrown his hotel telephone at his assistant. And that was coming out. That's why he went after him. You know what I mean?

What did the assistant say to get a hotel phone thrown at them? You're right. It was the assistant's fault. They lost their mind about Russell Crowe. But when they did the Crocodile Dundee, it felt like we were going to get a hotel phone thrown at them. Well, you're right. It was the assistant's fault. They lost their mind about Russell Crowe. But when they did the Crocodile Dundee, it felt like we were going to get murdered. Yeah, you get killed for some shit like that. That's fucking, that's a big deal.

We did have to get escorted out of there in a van. Because of that comment. Remember, it devolved into like, it was a chug contest, and then it turned into an arm wrestling contest. Yes. Which is a five, they picked five Australian guys

to go against the five of us, and we won? Yes. Because what happened, in the chug, we decided to do a boat race. So like, each guy's two pints. which is a five they picked five australian guys they're going to the five of us and we won yeah because what happened in the chug we decided to do a boat race so like each guy's two pints love a boat race go all the way down the anchorman does two and then you bring it back yeah i'm not naming names paul soder but one of the guys paul soder shout out to paul soder cannot but did you know did you notice the other night or when when we were on the corolla when you said he couldn't chug he got very defensive about it?

I know. You heard it here, Paul. You can't chug, baby boy. He was like, you were like, and you can't chug, or you're the worst chugger in the group, which I didn't even bat an eye at that. I'm like, well, we all know that. And he got very defensive about it, which was interesting. But he went second.

And he, by the time he finished his beer- No time he finished he went forth because we we were winning one two three we were ahead a full guy and we were like oh we're gonna smoke these guys he went forth and it's like glug glug glug paul and they passed us and then this poor guy had to try to catch up and he did catch up now we're back ahead again you did but now it's time for paul to go again now paul's going again and he's like glug glug and we get way behind and then they were finished it's over right yeah but but this was arm wrestling well so then we this was the impetus for beer fuss then it was yeah it was being down there drinking well because we were humiliated we were humiliated and these as americans we were the we were the only five Americans in that place of hundreds of Aussies. And they're fucking cheering and like.

Drunk and wild. Go fucking home. You know, like all that shit. And then we started challenging them to individual chugs and an arm wrestling competition. And we won those. We won those. You proved you're the better player. But when he said Crocodile Dundee can suck my dick, I thought they were going to attack us.

And the public is like, we're getting out of here. And we went out a back door into a van and screeched off. And he goes, that could make a good movie. I mean, who said that? Kevin. I mean, it is a great fucking movie. And cheers to Australia for that. To Australia.

We love Australia. I need some clarification. I fucking love Australia. I need some clarification. I fucking love Australia. I had a phenomenal time. I just had so much fun in Melbourne that when I got to Sydney, my view was so skewed because Sydney was this kind of the pretty girl. It's like, ooh, Sydney. It's like this thing.

And then I kind of like the dirty girl down south. I just like Melbourne was like this filthy little bitch. And I like Sydney. It just didn't have that same kick to me but i had a phenomenal time in australia and i loved filming there and also uh i i do like you sydney don't get my the fans do this thing we're like oh one time i said i said one thing about pittsburgh and they're like don't come back then don't ever come back and you're like okay, okay, dude, fuck off. Chill out. No, but I did love it. And also I shouldn't tell this story, but I'm going to.

Did you have sex with a girl? No, I went to Russell Crowe's house. Really? Okay. Which was crazy. Did he throw a phone at you? Russell Crowe's house. He did.

Yeah. He did. Were you that assistant? Without giving too much information away, because it's not my business to tell. It's okay to say I went to the party. He's uncircumcised, isn't he? Oh yeah.

And it's only four and a half. he does this whole thing it's like five and a half mate four and a half dude four and a half four and a half buddy no he threw a party and we went with some friends and it was i was so out of place and i immediately was like why the fuck am i here and i was so baked i was so fucking yeah when i showed up and i was like this is so dumb that i came to this thing because Because I knew we were going to go there. Like they had said, like, hey, I think we're going to Russell Crowe's house. And I was like, okay. And I was drinking and smoking, not thinking anything at the hotel.

Thinking like, we're not going to fucking Russell Crowe's house. But when it did become a thing, we're like, we're getting cars. I should have chilled out. Because I showed up way too baked. And he was sitting behind the bar. And I walked up and in my mind, I was like, just say, thanks for having us at your house. Just thanks for having us over. You know, he doesn't know me. He knows me through someone. And I just walk up there and I'm like,

Hey man. And he's like, what's up? And I was like, you do something to drink. And he was like, what? And I was like, did you grab something? Can I have something to drink? And he's like, yeah, just make it yourself. And I was like did you grab something can i have something to drink and he's like yeah just make it yourself and i was like you got it i grabbed a drink and i sat on the patio for like an hour being like that's it you're done that's it he thinks you're that guy now that's like yeah that annoying red-headed freak came and demanded a drink who the fuck am i and by the way when you're stoned in your head you're like like, he thinks you're that guy. And then a second goes by and you're like, because I am that guy. You are that guy.

Oh no! Although the funniest thing I will say that happened was I'm on the patio with... I'm on the patio- Nicole Kidman. With Nicole Kidman. I'm on the patio with Bill Macy, who's incredible. He's in this movie that we did. And William H. Macy is talking to... We're just having just a regular chat. And in the middle of his conversation, he's talking, he's talking, he's in this movie that we did, and William H. Macy is talking to, we're just having just a regular chat,

and in the middle of his conversation, he's talking, he's talking, he's talking, in the middle he cuts himself off, and he goes, the music inside is far too loud, yes? And I go, I mean, yeah, relative, I guess he goes, no, no, no, it is far too loud for a party. And I was like, okay. He goes, I'm gonna ask him to turn it down.

I was like, wait, are you really? He's like, yeah, it's far too loud for a party. And I was like, okay. He goes, I'm going to ask him to turn it down. I was like, wait, are you really? He's like, yeah, it's far too loud. And I was like, yeah, I'm not going to. Okay. And he's like, I'll go talk to him. And I think he was kind of saying like, come along with me while I do this. And I was like, oh no. Be my muscle.

I'm going to start smoking again. I'm not, I'm going to be out here not telling Russell Crowe his music is too loud in his house so I let Bill Macy go on his own I the music did not get turned down for the record it'd be sweet if Bill Macy kicked Russell Crowe's ass he beat the shit out of him tell the full story but he fucking had him in a chokehold oh he's a turn it down bitch it just never we if Bill Macy went in there and it was Russell Crowe's band playing five odd

full of grunt or whatever that is knock off I'm Zeus can you turn it down he was a nice guy pleasant to have us in his house not talking any shit

nice guy but also man did I fuck it up I never should go to those things anyway anytime I'm invited to a Hollywood party like have you guys

been to one of these like big annoying Hollywood parties where you're like why did we do that why did I show up this fucking thing? I had this with Patrick Swayze. Give it.

We were at this, this is before we had fucking done super troopers. And like, we were, we're at the three of us all broken. There's a huge Patrick Swayze fans. And we found ourselves at this party at like, it was a hotel party.

Yep. Right. Like, like the Avalon hotel. And they had like fucking synchronized swimmers and shit. And you know. That's for Swayze, dog. That's all Swayze, baby.

And a girl who was, she was producing, she was an associate producer on Super Troopers, said, I know you guys are, like Patrick Swayze was over there in a group. We were watching him from afar and like, holy fucking shit, it's Patrick Swayze. It's fucking Patrick Swayze. And we're like, God fucking shit, it's Patrick Swayze. It's fucking Patrick Swayze. And we're like, guys, could you imagine meeting Patrick Swayze?

And we started just like amongst friends, you're reminiscing about the movies. You're like, God, there's Point Break and Dirty Dancing. Roadhouse. Roadhouse, The Outsiders and fucking Too Long Foo. Point Break, by the way. Say no more. Too Long Foo. Too Long Foo.

Too Long Foo and Next of Kin and Ghost. Yeah. Dirty Dancing. Yeah. And then we're quoting lines to each other. Anyway, this girl comes over and she's like, by the way, I'm friends with Patrick Swayze. Do you wanna come and meet him?

Now at this moment, Kevin had gone over to the fucking buffet table and was like, I looked over and he's got like fucking, he's three handing it. He's got one in his mouth and one in each hand. Young starving actor. Let the guy live. Come on.

Let the guy live. No judgment. I'm at a Swayze party. I'm going to eat. No judgment. Starving actor. Except she said, except she said,

but you got to come now because he's about to leave. And I was like, I was torn because I was like, I got a minute to meet Swayze. I can't go corral him. And so I went over there and she did this thing.

She was like, he was with his wife and he was with a bunch of people. And she said uh i want you to know we have a real patrick swasey fan in our midst and and everybody he looked at me and he goes really why the setup lady and and uh i was like yeah and then everyone's looking at it's like when your parents looked at you when you're like 13 the first time they see you talking to a girl and they're like and everyone's looking like what's gonna happen and like i start i could feel myself locking up already and and i said um hey patrick let's go talk over here and i brought him away from the

group because i didn't know what else to say yeah i didn't know and i brought him over to like a japanese lantern like a like a lighting lantern and and he's like, what's up, pal? And I was like, I looked at him and I couldn't fucking think of one thing to say. And I couldn't even think of any of the movies we talked about. And I just said, what kind of a name is Swayze? And he's like, it's British. And I was like, oh God, I, it's British. And I was like, oh God, I didn't realize British names had Z's in them. And he's like,

they do. And like, I was like, is this not a stage name? He's like, no, it's my real name. And like,

and we're just sitting there fucking looking at each other. And I guess he gave the, the signal to somebody. Oh yeah. Yeah. He has a, Swayze's got the, he's like,

yeah. Yeah. Yeah. One swoop behind his right ear. Almost like a half wink. Yeah. Send him in? Matt Dillon.

Matt Dillon came in with his back to me and said, excuse me, bub, and got between us. MD bumped you? Yeah. MD fucking

bumped you, dog? Both shoulder blades, bang, left shoulder blade, bang, left shoulder blade, right shoulder blade. He just came right across

the shoulder and it was fucking over. Like that. It was over for me and I came over back to Heffernan and Heffernan's like, left shoulder blade, right shoulder blade. Like he just came right across the shoulder. And it was fucking over. Like that. It was over for me. And I came over back to Heffernan. And Heffernan's like, oh my God, tell me everything. And I was like, it's not what you think it is. And I fucking told him.

And it was loser town. So sad. Man, that is. But also, how would you have wanted it to go? Well, that's the other thing. That's the kicker of it. So we're subletting some apartment in the Hollywood flats or whatever, and we went back that night, and we're sharing the same bedroom,

and he's in one bed, and I'm in another bed, and the lights are out, you know, and you're falling asleep. And all of a sudden, I hear him laughing in the bed, like he's laughing uncontrollably. I'm like, what the fuck are you laughing at, man? He goes, I've been lying here for the last 10 minutes reliving my Patrick Swayze moment and reliving it in a way that it went the way I wanted it to go. And I was charming and we fucking rode horses together or whatever.

And I just realized what a fucking loser I am and I just started laughing in the dark. And I always thought that was fucking beautiful. That is beautiful. Because that's honestly the best version of that. Like the monotonous conversation about something that doesn't really matter would have not been fun for you anyway. How was Ghost?

What the fuck? Yeah. But you had another crack at him though. Well, so I had another crack at him. Oh, you redeemed yourself. Because when Super Troopers was going to Sundance, Stuff Magazine, you remember Stuff Magazine? It was like a sister to Maxim.

Maxim bought them out, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Tits too. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, 2.0 tits. So they sponsored a party for us at Sundance and our producer came running in one day and was like, guess who's publicist just called

and has gotten them on the guest list for the Super Troopers party? And I went, P. Swayze? And he went, fucking P. Swayze. And so Patrick Swayze came to the party, and we were clocking him from across the room, the three of us actually, and all of a sudden he looked over and we locked eyes and he fucking did a double take and pointed at me and walked

at me. And I was like, holy fucking shit. Holy fucking shit. And he was like, do I know you? And I was like, no. And he's like, yeah, I do. I know you from someplace. And I was like, no, you don't.

And then he's like, super troopers. I just saw you in the movie. Oh, thank God. It was, I didn't have the mustache on. And then we fucking, we got drinks together, we took photos together and it was great. And he didn't recall the Z, is that a British name? No.

That's good. Thank God. Did not remember. God bless his lack of memory. Before all that happened, I got a headshot of Patrick Swayze and because after the first film I wrote, Steve, I really think you're a great actor. We should do a project together. Patrick Swayze.

And I sent it to him in the mail and then he had it framed and put it up on the wall. He goes, do you fucking believe this shit? It's more than, it's more than that too. First I got the thing and I was like, well, I was like, this has to be Shandra Sekhar. And so I called up Shandra Sekhar. I was like, did you send me a fucking autograph photo of Patrick Swayze? He's like, you got an autograph photo of Patrick Swayze? And I was like, that was convincing.

I mean, if you've listened to his impressions already today, you know he's a good actor. A professional actor. He is a good actor. And he sold you right away because the questioning of what it was is better. Anyone that goes smart anyone that goes What do you know? What are you talking about liar immediately? But for him to go? Yeah, and he's like, whoa, that's incredible Wait a minute. Well, how would to go back back up back up? Tell me how this how did you get this?

And I was like it arrived in the mail. He's like are you fucking kidding me? Swayze mailed you because we lived in New York City He's like, how do you get your address? I'm like, I don't fucking know So good. I called him up same fucking thing. I mean he actually had no idea what I was talking about Oh you didn't know? He's like it's gotta be Chandrasekhar. In the art of the con you gotta tell only those who need to. Correct, correct, which is nobody I didn't know. Yeah, but by the way, it went on for a fucking year to the point Where like finally I was convinced and I had it framed and it front and center. When you walked in, in my one bedroom apartment in New York City, you walked in right on the hallway, right to the right.

The first thing was the photo of Patrick Swayze. So they're like, dudes, chicks, anyone who came in, they're like, oh my God. And I'm like, oh, you saw my picture of Patrick Swayze. You still have this photo. I do. Is it in your home somewhere now? It is. Yes.

In a frame that is brilliant that is better than a real framed photo debunked though there's an asterisk right after it was debunked a pair of fucking clam digger shorts arrived at my house

capri pants we were about to go make our movie Club Dread which we shot down in Mexico this was in an unmarked no return address, big envelope Yeah, a couple of Capris. And we were about to go make our movie Club Dread, which we shot down in Mexico. And this was in an unmarked, like no return address, a big envelope, a pair of these shorts that came down to here. And it said, hey, I thought of you and bought these for you. Can't wait to see you in Mexico.

Scrappy, scrappy, scrap. So nobody knows. Couldn't tell who sent it. No signature, no return address. I went through the rounds. I was like, Chandrasekhar, you sent me some fucking Capri shorts here. He was like, Capri shorts? What are Capri shorts? I was like, what are Capri shorts?

Good sell. What are they? What do you mean? But then I, no one found out. Like the island of Capri? What does that mean? Do you mean, that's a little island off of Italy. Right, yeah.

And you mean shorts? As in short pants? I thought they were capri pants. I wasn't familiar with capri shorts. But so in Mexico, I wore them. I wore them every fucking day. I was hoping to suss out some person. You tried to find the killer, right?

Yeah. Yeah. I get it. Yeah, so I wore them. And that was after we got back from Mexico is when he confessed to that one. So here's, let's boil this down. You're the brains. You're the brains of the boys.

We boil it down. Whenever you get some random shit in the mail, the boys we boil it down whenever you get some random shit in the mail it's from him yeah that's what we know you're a little sneaky bad oh a little sneaky bad sneaky bad boy by the way that's what we call him by the way sneaky bad boy yeah sneaky bad boy's coming sneaky bad boy uh your name is way too long uh can we can we ask him the long name what's the longest version Well my full name is Giant Jumbo Lingam Chandrasekhar I've had Jumbo Lingam

I've had that in New Orleans We wait to hear what it means It means Giant Jumbo Lingam Chandrasekhar Translates to victorious large penis Rising moon That's what he had in New Orleans And the Jumbo Lingam

Jumbo Lingam is the big, the big, wait, it means largest, large penis. And I, and I don't look like you have a large penis. Well,

yeah, yeah. It's a family name. Just take it. So I call my mother. It's not a mic. I used to take the nickname or the, the,

I used to, we, you know, we used to edit these movies and I've taken editing credit as Jumbo Lingam. And my friend, uh, Eric Stolansky, who was in the group, he was watching one of our short films with some Indian friend of his and his mom. And the name came up and she started laughing.

And he goes, why are you laughing? And he goes, that means large penis. And he goes, it does? So he calls me up, he goes, did you know your middle name means large penis? We're like 24, right? Right? And I'm like, no. But it means something. So I call my me up. He goes, did you know your middle name means large penis? We're like 24, right? And I'm like, no. But it means something.

So I call my mom up. I'm like, does Jumbo Lingam mean large penis? And she goes, well, literally, yes. But it's a euphemism for power. And I'm like, what? Why didn't you tell me sooner? But that's my dad name, my grandfather, my son's name. No shit.

But 24, you never even- Here's the kicker. They all have tiny cocks. They all have tiny dicks. One of them has a big dick, but you have to figure out which one it is. Welcome back to which jumblingum is the big one. If you had known that in college, though, how would it have changed your life? I just would have subtly spread the word, and then people would start to hear about it.

When women hear you have a name, Big Dick, they're like, oh, let's check this guy out. Sure. We all showered together in college. Sure. But that name is, how do you, Jumbo Lingam. Yeah. Am I saying it right?

I mean, I see it right now in the back of softball jerseys in college. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. The Jumbo Lingam boys. I mean, I feel that would have been a cult. You should have. Oh, man. I wish you captured that younger.

Well, and once people find out about it, like, remember like, Randy Johnson. Remember the pitcher, Randy Johnson? Yeah. Killed a bird. The big unit.

Yeah. The big unit. And when people find out, they call him that because of the big dick. Then it was like, in his World Series parade, they're just shouting out

fucking big dick, big dick, big dick, big dick. And he deserved it. That guy was a monster. Yeah. He was a beast. He was one of those guys where you're like, I bet you he power fucks everything in the world.

Sure. He's this big mammoth moose, hard throwing, kind of trailer park looking guy. No offense, RJ. Yeah. But you know. Yeah. You know, of all the pitchers,

pitchers tend to be some of the cutest guys, the handsomest boys. And RJ was not blessed. No, he was gross. I saw that video the other day when he killed that bird. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He threw that video the other day when he killed that bird. Yeah. He threw the pitch and it hit the fucking bird

and the bird explodes in feathers. Yeah. Holy shit. I love that so much. There was only a couple of guys that had that kind of power that was so... Nolan Ryan.

I watched his documentary. Fucking great. It was so good. Fucking great. So fucking good. Well, I didn't realize he was such a dick, but in a good way.

He's such a dick. But in a good way. Yeah. It was kind of like a... He's like John Wayne, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Same. Like a deserved dick.

Where you're like, oh, this makes sense. Like, brush me fucking back. Don't get, don't grab my fucking plate. Right, I like that. He went after people. Yeah. But you're a Cubs guy. I'm a Northside kid.

You're a Northside kid. Okay. That's right. Chicago, by the way. Not to segue to your fucking Chicago. Here we go. All right. No, no, we should do, we should do.

Can I take my nap now? Yeah, go ahead. Go ahead, Argentina. You want to fucking tongue tie with old Spaniard? Que piensas del Argentina World Cup, huh? Mundial, we should do. Can I take my nap now? Yeah, go ahead. Go ahead, Argentina. You want to fucking tongue tie with old Spaniards? ¿Qué piensas del Argentina World Cup? Mundial, mundial, mundial, mundial. There he goes. No, I am a north side kid.

Pitch and baseball's back, and I'm glad to get a first W out of the books. He's going to throw the first pitch out. Are you really? Yeah. That's awesome. Are you going to, have you ever, have you ever sung The Stretch?

I never have sung The Stretch, but unfortunately, we've got to go to Nashville, so I can't do it this time. That's my, I thought you were going to do the pitch. I'm going to throw the pitch, but then we're going to,

we have to eventually go. Take off, okay. She said I could watch five innings, and then we've got to go. See, in Chicago, right, the first pitch, great, phenomenal. Yeah, but then,

but if you get to sing The Stretch, take me out of the ballgame. It's one of those things where my dad doesn't believe i'm remotely successful until i do that yeah because for him that's the only thing that means anything like a first pitch awesome proud but he's like yeah but it fucking you know they let the local gymnastics kid do that you gotta once you get up in the booth where harry carey was that to my dad is like the ultimate when that happens he'll be finally like have you ever tried to pursue it or are you like hey no no but i'm not i'm not even remotely famous enough to do

the no way like you have to be you have to be famous to do the to sing i feel like i got a great idea what is it come with us to Chicago. Yeah. Put on Indian face. You know, honestly, you're like a red headed Jay Chandrasekhar. You've got thick eyebrows like Chandrasekhar. My neighbor was Indian growing up. Good guy. Good people. You probably know him.

That'll be your defense when the press comes for you. My Indian was neighbor growing up. I know Jay! Why don't you stay and do it? I mean, who gives a shit? Or you'd probably... I'm not trying to... I mean, not just Nashville. Maybe you can't do it.

She doesn't even want me to stay for any innings to the game. I'm like, do you realize if I throw out the first pitch and leave that what a... They'll never know. Sure. Who is it, Caitlin? No, I shouldn't say names. No, but... I'm saying a PR person.

But the seventh and eighth would know. The take me out of the ball game is just as important, if not even more important. Sure, talk about press. I mean, come on, bro. That's good press. Good press.

I hate to budge you into it, but you really should do it. You should do it, man. Who are they playing on the game? Do you know? I don't know. But did you grow up a Cubs fan? Yeah.

God bless. Good guy. I knew I liked you the most. I was watching the Chicago Cubs when they put across the bottom of the screen... Do you want of the screen Elvis Presley. You guys want to go hit his car again or something? Yeah, let's get out of here.

Elvis Presley is dead. Oh, wow. He went across the bottom of the Cubs. They're playing the Montreal Expos. Elvis Presley is dead and people are cheering. Isn't that the irony of that? People are like, it's a double to center. Elvis Presley's like, in the background. Yeah, that's right. We were going to throw out the first pitch a couple years ago, right? And then, because I remember they made jerseys for us, right?

So we got the Cubs jerseys with the names on the back. They gave them out to all of us, and then the game out rained out. Remember that? Yes. But you guys don't love the Cubs because you're Yankees fans. You're Yankees kids. Yankees kids, right? Yeah, hardcore Yankee fans.

Are you in New York as well? Connecticut. New York as well? Connecticut. New York as well? Yeah, Connecticut. New York adjacent? Yeah, yeah. That was the whole Chicago conversation? The one you said, oh, we're going to go.

That's the way they should all be. I don't want to go to sleep. That's the way they should all be. I don't want to go to sleep. I've had a whole bourbon. I don't want to fall asleep, guys. No, you know what? That's the New York guys bullying the Chicago guys into talking back about something we

want to talk about. Yeah, you guys are the second city. You know what the first city is? Although I asked Newark. I asked to throw out a first pitch at the Yankee game and I got denied. No shit. Surprise, surprise. Because you're from Connecticut. I don't make the cut. Well, whatever I am, I don't make the cut to throw out a pitch. Let me guess.

Can I guess? Yeah. He's going to burn you. One of the Havens. Yeah, new. Are you new? I was going to say West. Yeah, well, I'm from West, but I always say new. He's from West Haven. You're amazing. He's from burn you. One of the Havens. Yeah, new. Are you new? I was gonna say West. Yeah, well, I'm from West, but I always say new. He's from West Haven. You're amazing. That was amazing.

How'd you know? What are the tells? I'm a Haven. What are the tells? About a Haven boy? Yeah. They're usually grounded men. Yeah.

They're grounded men. The Irish are in the West and the Italian are in the new. You better believe it. Yeah, that's the way it should be. That is so funny about being from, being from East of the Mississippi and the italian are in the new you better believe it yeah that's the that's the way it should be that is so funny about being from being from east of the mississippi and when someone's like everyone in our world's on the east side of the of the country knows and i go yeah they go santino you go yeah irish and italian fucking these two scumbags lived right next to

each other yeah yeah sure it seems like easy math yeah you come out west when i moved here when i was 18 and people were like what is is a fucking red-headed Italian guy? And you're like, oh, you fucking idiots. Go anywhere on the East Coast. What is the Irish name of your- The Garatees. The Garatees. Oh, we had some Garatees.

The Garatees, yeah. It's so funny. We had some Garatees. My dad's whole friendship group was all like mafioso nickname people. Okay. It was like Joda Hat and Squishy and Mark. Yeah, Johnny Lips. Yeah. And then my mom's was always like Hat, you know, and Squishy, and Mark. Yeah, and Johnny Lips.

Yeah. And then my mom's was always like, the Hoolahants and the Flaherty's. Right. It was the, it was the Gangs of New York

in Chicago. That's hysterical. We can give more Chicago jazz for you. I had some Garrity's. I mean, maybe we're related, man. We probably are.

I had some Garrity's. Yeah, well, it means we can't have sex, which we already did. That's fine. That's fine. Which we already did.

What are you going to do, man? Just once, you know. Can I tell you a little fan interaction story I just remembered? Give it. I we already did. What are you going to do? Just once. Can I tell you a little fan interaction story I just remembered? Give it. I was with Kevin. We were going on the road.

We were in LAX and we had just- That's not how you pronounce it. LAX. Not LAX. LAX. LAX. Now, then he's always on the A for some reason. LAX.

Yeah. And we had just put our bags onto the conveyor belt and I decided to release my first fart of the day. Good boy. You know, you always smile when you release that first one. It's like smelling the morning air as you lift up and pop it off. I'm trying to figure out what the transition, the segue here is. Okay, go ahead.

Well, I went to release my first fart of the day and I shat in my pants. What age is this? This is like three years ago. Oh, this is recent. Yeah. Definitely somewhere between 2009 and 2019. Yeah. Drinking the night before?

But you have kind of a loose anus. It's possible. You saw that, right? Is that the next movie? Loose anus? He has a little bit of a loose anus. You've been around, huh? We're not talking about the cause.

We're talking about the effect. Oh, I see. I thought it was related. No, you remember this. You remember this. I know. I totally it was related. No, you remember this. You remember this. I know. I totally remember it. But not like a big shit. It was like, oops.

Like a fart. It was like, oops. But I was like, oh, fuck. And I look, and our bags are just going into the tunnel. Now they're gone. You can't get any pants. Can't get any underwear. And so then we're like shuffling, and we walk, and we get through security.

We were going to a stand-up show. And I'm dying to get to a lounge. I'm like, like i'm gonna go in the lounge and wash up yeah and then i'm gonna buy some sweatpants or something like that sure that's all cleaned up but then a dude intercepted us it was like can i get a photo with you guys oh man and we're like sure absolutely and our thing is when we take pictures with guys, first we do a serious face, and then we do that kind of face, and then a fist face and everything. This time you had to do the, I just shit my pants face. Right. What did that look like?

Well, I don't know, because I haven't seen the photos. But what I do know is there's a fan out there with four or five photos of the two of us with him, and there's shit in my pants. How wonderful. Right wonderful what a wonderful you're out there wherever you are at lax or lax airport you got a photo with you with in your pants with in my pants god bless man isn't the world good sometimes here's an interesting thing they don't sell sweatpants in airports they don't sell pants in airports why not don't sell sweatpants in airports. They don't sell pants in airports. Why not? Don't know.

But I found that out the hard way. Sounds like we got a business to brew. Let me tell you what, when there's a hole in the market, when there's a hole in the market, you fill it. I'm not fucking kidding. I went, I washed,

I washed everything off. I put my, I washed my jeans. I washed everything. Went out to like the, all those stands and they've got sweatshirts, hoodies, t-shirts, hats, all that shit.

I was like, do you sell sweatpants?'re like no no one smells pants what shorts no one sells lower body you know why why because most people shopping in those stores are adults and most adults don't don't shit themselves right so i think it's just kind of like kids loose little kids do but you just got to let those guys that's to wrap a blanket around and take it on yeah you know take it as it goes. I fucked up. I shat my pants. What if it was just all you could find was like women pants? Would you have bought like some juicy, some juicy pants?

Some juicy, juicy ass pants. You would have worn those. Yeah. That'd be awesome. I shit my pants once. I will say I never did it my whole life and I shit it in Japan like five years ago. Okay. And the context was what?

Like you were just. We were. Rough night. Rough night. Rough night, we were uh rough night rough night rough night rough night we were across the street to go get something to eat for breakfast the place we wanted to go to was a long line and i uh i cough farted at the stoplight and like it was almost like like the gods were just like watch this yeah you know the boys were over and somebody upstairs was like check this out and i was like and i was like holy shit and legitimately

and i had to go if you've ever been to japan they have they're like our little 7-elevens they're little tiny corner stores but you know those public bathrooms and places like that they're they are literally two feet by two feet by two feet i mean they're it's it's it is such a tiny little bullshit bathroom so i had to shimmy down my legs and get naked in this little this little tiny japanese bathroom to throw my underwear away and then put my you know clean up and then put my jeans back on and then i thought somewhere in japan that guy is cleaning up a bathroom and is unloading the trash and is like again and sees just a little nugget in some poor man's underwear it happens all the time yeah all'm sure it happens all the time.

Yeah, all the time. It happens all the time. I fucking hate working Sunday morning. Yeah. Every Sunday. Yeah. Every Sunday. Every single Sunday.

All right. Let's end. Let's end a debate real fast. Okay. And then I do want to talk about the fucking- About Chicago? Before you guys go. Is this talking to me? Yeah, but are you a-

I said you had to go because they told me no you don't you know three o'clock you guys got to go okay that's i've been told that's what they told you that's what i've been told oh boy um deep dish or uh deep dish pub style okay all right so you're a deep dish guy you say deep dish yeah interesting my problem is i'm not. You're anti-deep dish. Well, no, no, no. I like it, but I'm a tavern style. So old school Chicago, original Chicago is tavern style or pub pizza, which is square

cut, super thin. I like that too. That's my- It's like Domino's pizza. I love Domino's pizza. Sir, sir, sir, sir, sir, sir. Like Domino's. Sir.

That's what you're saying, right? Well, that's the style. Yeah. But that is actually chicago's original pizza so when people go chicago pizza chicago people know deep dish is a deep dishes are times square that's not that oh i think it's delicious well it's not tourist pizza it is delicious but it's not we have it like once every few years right because it's like eating a cake but that's what i mean mean. So when people go, Chicago pizza, New York is better than Chicago pizza. I'm like, first of all, you're comparing the thing that is wrong.

So compare the real thing. Compare a thin crust, tavern style, pub cut, square cut pizza to your long, floppy, soggy bullshit. But you like a New York pizza now. I do like it, but pub style is the best. Because it's the best in the world, right? No, it's not at all. It's not at all. And this whole lie that you guys permeate culture with of like, you'll get a good slice anywhere. I like art pizza now. I do like it, but art, but pub style is the best. It's the best in the world, right? No, it's not at all. It's not at all.

And this whole lie that you guys permeate culture with of like, you'll get a good slice anywhere. 90% of slices in New York are fucking shit. That's fucking bullshit. You know it is. That's fucking bullshit. You know it is. It's like saying every hot dog off the cart is good.

It's like there are some that are those big rubbery ones, but you know, there's the best slice is in New York. Yeah. And you can walk into any pizzeria and get a fucking fantastic slice. There is argument to say that fucking Connecticut has the best pizza. in New York. Yeah. And you can walk into any pizzeria and get a fucking fantastic slice. There is argument to say that fucking Connecticut has the best pizza. Connecticut has very good pizza. Okay.

So New York does this bullying thing where they're like, the best pizza. Then every good pizza review is from New York. Chicago pizza sucks. Everybody's like Chicago fucking pizza. I'll tell you this. That's a bold statement. The last time I shit my pants, deep dish Chicago pizza. Yeah.

So you're welcome. You're welcome. Give you life experience. The debate is never ending. And also. It's not a debate. It is a debate. It is a debate.

It is a debate. It absolutely is. Because we, you guys, once you guys stop comparing. Says you guys. You guys in Boston are always fucking everything. Like New York is just on top. New York is on top. You guys are the second city. And you guys are like New York is on top. You guys are the second city.

You guys are like, we have it too. You guys are the second city, right? We have it too. Now, New York is not what it used to be anymore either, by the way. It's fucking best. It's like Argentina versus fucking Spain. You know where New York is? Dubai.

New York is Dubai now. Look at all the buildings we built. Yay. Too many fucking buildings. There's nowhere to go. There's nowhere to be now. Everything's new and glass. It's shit

and you know that's fucking fat that's the biggest fucking crock of shit argument in my life man it's to dubai now it's a fucking too much too many new things is eight fucking thousand buildings being built chicago stays in our grounded roots we barely build new shit we can't afford it you guys are scared well well because everyone's dying. Nobody lives. No one's living. No, I fucking, I'm in love with New York so much. I have this affair with it. And I love Chicago.

We do love it. We do love each other so very much. Well, you know what? Philly can fuck off. Don't get me started on Philly. Oh, no. Be careful with that. Okay, so tell me, boys.

Okay. This new movie on 420 that's out right now, when this is out, it will be out on 420. On Hulu. What do you want to say about it that's not giving away something that we shouldn't talk about? It's called Quasi, and Lemmy plays the titular character, Quasimodo. Hunchback.

It's our take on the Quasimodo story. It's a 12th century french political thriller with english accents and blood you know he's right i've been thinking about this yeah like he said it on colbert yeah a couple nights ago and i'd heard jay say once before and i was a political threat and i you're right it's a political that doesn't sound sexy i'm the brains political political throw runs on sexy oh yes it does that's why that's why I put the blood in there. English accent and blood. He touched a lot of bases.

When he says he threw on political, English, French, blood, blood. I mean, you're really hitting every kind of category of human. Hunchback. Well, a hunchback is icing on the cake, really. I mean, you've got the food groups are all knocked out. You're just, hunchback is like, whoa, and then?

By the way, amazingly, you said, do you know what's in the hump? What's in Quasimodo's hunchback? Cake icing. Icing. All icing. There's cream in there. It's sweet. If you puncture a hunchback.

Now, is it the hunchback of Notre Dame or is it Notre Dame? Notre Dame. Notre Dame. Notre Dame. Notre Dame. But we don't deal with Notre Dame. No, you don't have anything. We don't have the budget for that.

Je parle français aussi. Et toi? It's funny, like when we were shooting our... No, he doesn't. No, he doesn't. No, he doesn't. No, he doesn't.

Don't do this. Don't do this game. Don't give him any more room than he needs. When we were shooting our movie, I watched that Affleck-Demon movie, the one where they were

in medieval France. Mette-Demon? Yeah, Demon. What's the name of that movie? Do you guys know it? I know, but he's got... Like Affleck Damon movie, the one where they were in medieval France. Met Damon? Yeah, Damon. What's the name of that movie? Do you guys know it? I know, but he's got, like Affleck has like the little bangs. Yeah, he's the king or whatever. The Last Kingdom.

Is that it? Okay. And so I watched that movie and like they must have spent like, you know, a hundred million dollars like showing the building of Notre Dame, you know?

And then I thought in our movie, nah, we don't do that shit. I like that. We don't have the money for that shit., nah, we don't do that shit. I like that. We don't have the money for that shit. We don't have the money for that shit. Because- We don't show any churches or anything. You know what it looks like.

Yeah. You've seen it before. You've seen Notre Dame once, you've seen it a million fucking times. Don't worry about it. Yeah, so don't worry about it. Our church is in Glendale. It's in Santa Clarita.

Is that where you're going to shout in California? Yeah, we built a little French medieval village up there. And who's got the best English accent, by the way? I don't do one in this movie. I do one. You do one? Yeah, you guys do them, right? You just said you did, yeah?

We do them, yeah. Who's better? I don't know. Like, the funny thing was, like, Chandrasekhar, like, has all these English accents that he likes, and so every day he would show up, and it would be a different one. So it would be- one day it would be like the Emperor Palpatine from fucking Star Wars. Right?

And then the next day he's the Cockney guy and then the next day, you know, it was good. I actually enjoyed that a lot about my scenes with Chandrasekhar. It was like not knowing which guy. Which English guy was showing up. But when the Emperor, when Senator Palpatine showed up, I was like, ah, fucking yes.

That's so good. Did you do it consciously? Were you like, I'm going to change this all the fucking time? Or was it like, just kind of came as the project went on, you were like, well, this is fun. Who cares? I was just doing my best. I like that. That's what I like.

It depends on what's happening. If you're supposed to be menacing, if you're supposed to be nice, the accent would be a different... The Emperor Palpatine, I could tell you were, because he directed it, you were uncomfortable with it a little bit. I loved it. You thought it was crazy? Okay, okay, good.

You thought it was great? I didn't know. I was like, ugh. But I had to do that scene that way. Yeah. Because it just, it called for it. Yeah. As the actors would say.

It just called for it, you know? Which is great because it's like like it's a nod to every fucking British villain you've ever seen in the movies. You know it's like Palpatine you're anger. You need some of that.

You need some of that but then every now and then you need the little eloquent thing like of course it is. And sweetness and softness. My liege.

But you were I mean I thought that was great. It was great. Okay good. Can you give is there any is there any like fun, do you guys sneak in any fun little cameos?

You guys got anybody? Yeah. Do we have cameos? Well, Brian Cox of BC. Our narrator is Brian Cox. The fucking man. Which he's done both Super Troopers movies and that's a little, that's a little teeny tidbit.

But we, you know, the thing is he did Super Troopers before he did Succession. Now Succession is like huge. He's fucking huge now. You can't. I felt uncomfortable contacting him. But you guys have such a history. I emailed him.

It was funny because I emailed him. I was like give me his email address. I emailed him. We were stonewalled. He's like every voice over and over. I emailed him. Cause we're in his agents stonewalling you a little bit. Yeah, we're getting stonewalled. The agents, nobody wants, cause he's so like, he's like every voiceover. Brian fucking Cox. And so I emailed him and I was like, hey man, you know, we have this voiceover thing.

It's going to be like 20 minutes. You know, if you do it'd be great. We'd love it. And I never heard back from him. Never heard back from him. It was like a week went by and I was like, oh fuck, I guess I'm, I guess I'm the asshole. And, and then what we found out is that he contacted his agents directly and was like, oh fuck, I guess I'm the asshole. And then what we found out is that he contacted his agents directly and was like, I got this email from Kevin, you know, whatever they want, I'm in.

Do it in his voice. Do it in his voice. And I was like, well, whatever he wants, I'm in. There we go. And I was like, well, why don't you just fucking respond to me? Like, all he had to do was type that back to me, but he didn't do that. He talked to his agents. Fuck off, Chev.

Oh boy. Yeah, but I think that's the way that works that's the way it works and so he went into a studio in Brooklyn and he did this thing

took him like a half an hour it was great and now he's in our movie that's fucking awesome and right after that he did I'm Lovin' It yeah he did McDonald's

and then he did Virgin Atlantic all the same crisp french fries lightly salted well I'm recording this that and the other things. Oh, I don't even know.

Chicken nuggets. Yeah. By the way, I don't believe in that thing that we all kind of do when they're like, wow, succession is so big. The agents and the managers, they do all that bullshit. They do all this thing of this posturing where it's like, you know, we don't need to respond to those emails. It's like, yeah, you fucking fuck you.

Because we all started in this all thing together. It's like the, the bigger that somebody gets, it doesn't give them any more reasoning to be like, I don't talk to those people. That's fucking insane. Like, so I don't like this idea that the business supports this,

you know, Oh, well, you know, that's just so big. It's like, yeah, the fuck gives a shit.

You're still the same guy that I liked before, unless you've drastically changed, which then fuck gives a shit? You're still the same guy that I liked before, unless you've drastically changed, which then fuck you a little bit. Just because you got richer and more people knew you. The idea was you made cool stuff with your friends and you helped each other along the way. And then as it got bigger, if you still could do stuff,

if you had the time to do it, then fucking do it. Yeah, the agents get in the way of that shit. So good on you, Brian Cox. Yeah, good for you, Brian Cox. I got my eye on you, buddy. Okay? Okay? Succession's gonna end at some point pal okay i knew you when you were yeah but i think that's i i think that's what i'm impressed with you guys uh truly to go back to eating your butts again but you guys are good friends who have made shit the whole time together

and done your own shit but like that's fucking incredible that you build an entire career with your friends. Super rare, super rare, super hard to do. And so kudos for like keeping that thing going. Cause that's fucking incredible. I mean, I know it's like, you know, it's sappy bullshit, but I really think it's important. It doesn't happen much anymore.

Yeah, and it's also in the crew too. Like, you know, we've had the same sound guy for 30 years and we've had the same, you know, whatever it is. You do need to fire that guy by the way. There's a couple of mistakes. Yeah, and it's also in the crew too. Like, you know, we've had the same sound guy for 30 years and we've had the same, you know, whatever it is. You do need to fire that guy by the way. There's a couple of mistakes. Yeah, the sound sucks, bro. We've had the same accent coach. The same accent coach for 30 years. Oh, that's true. He's Venezuelan.

He's Venezuelan. That's why you keep him around. Yeah. He's Venezuelan. Yes. Keep those guys employed, you know, just in case. You never know. You gotta have diversity. You gotta have a couple of... No, I think it's impressive. I always say that they give Sandler that award, and the one thing everyone kept hammering was like,

he's always working with his friends, always working with his friends. It's so true. Good on him. Yeah, because that's what makes it so fun. When you see you guys working together and the stuff that I've watched over the years with you guys, you always kind of just feel that you're like,

oh, do these cocksuckers know each other? It's great. You can kind of feel it as a fan. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Where some movies you watch, I'm not going to name, and they pair people together,

and you're like, these guys don't like each other. They don't even fucking know each other. And if they did, they would never want to get along with one another. Yeah. You can kind of see through that, you know, the smoke.

So good on you guys for keeping that movie. Thank you. It's important. Sandler. How much more fun kind of see through that, you know, the smoke. So good on you guys. Thank you. For keeping that move. Thank you. It's important. Sandler. How much more fun was this than Corolla,

by the way? Fuck you, Corolla. I'm taking over, bitch. I didn't even go to Corolla. Yeah, good.

Yeah. His car, his fancy car. Oh, look at all your fucking cars. Beep, beep, Adam,

suck it. No, he's a good egg. I love him. No, he's great. When we, we made Super Troopers

and Adam Sandler invited us for like a general meeting. And we were, you know, it's like we were new in town. He was like, come. And we went into his office at Happy Madison. He was like,

I saw your movie in the theater. You know, I had popcorn soda. Can you do his accent or what? And I thought you guys were the real deal. I think that's Mike Tyson. Yeah, what is that? Oh, wait. Yeah, and I thought you guys were the real deal. I think that's Mike Tyson. Yeah, what is that? Oh, wait.

Yeah, and I thought you guys were the real deal. And I was like, I want to punch you in the face. That's Tyson? Yeah, that's Tyson. And then he was like... You didn't want to do this? That's like the one thing that I was like... I had the popcorn and it showed up.

I thought Super Troopers was great. It's Super Troopers. Super Soakers? It's Super troopers. Super soakers? It's super troopers. Stellar feller? No, super troopers. You met the cat. So we all went in

and he said, listen, if you guys ever need anything, come talk to me. Money. Give us the money, Adam. Give us some of your money. So what happened,

we made a movie called Club Dread and it opened up against the passion of the Christ. Same story, by the way. It was almost the exact same movie. Very similar. Yeah, it is the same movie, a little bit. Very similar. But that movie fucking crushed every movie that weekend, and that was our opening weekend.

And our career was basically over after that. And that following week, Sandler called us up and said, you need my help. Come on in. And we met again, and we pitched him Beer Fest. And he walked us over, and we pitched him Beer Fest. And he walked us over and we pitched it at Sony and he set it up there.

Ultimately, we didn't make it with that company. But still. Or Sandler. But God let good on Sandler. Yeah.

That's fucking, that was very cool of him. Also, Passion of the Christ was not that good. You know what I mean? I think Club Dread overcame it.

Not even in English. Sure. We all heard that story. Everybody knows how it ends. It's just, you know. It's a fucking cross Club Dread overcame it. Not even in English. Sure. We all heard that story. Everybody knows how it ends. It's just, you know. It's a fucking cross. No surprise to that movie. Yeah, we, yeah.

Oh, does the guy die? It's like, the guy dies. Come on, no shit. Get over it. For my sins? Whatever. I wasn't born yet. Well, I'm glad that you guys are still fucking doing it.

I think you're super fucking funny, great dudes. I'm glad you came on the show with me and took some time. I appreciate it. Go watch Quasi. It's on Hulu now. Yeah. Right now. Go watch it.

Did you guys, this is after the fact, but was there a discussion of doing like a theater release and a Hulu release? That thing? There was, but we ended up making the deal for the movie during the pandemic. Yeah. And so there was no theatrical then. But I think that's kind of like, you know. Well, they're doing half and half. Yeah yeah now they're trying to bleed it back in

a little bit like the the movie i did with amazon you know amazon was like pretty straightforward when we signed the whole thing was like this is for prime this is that's what it is yeah and then we were all like okay whatever man i don't fucking i just want to i just want to make the thing yeah whoever sees it over with yeah i don't care yeah and then in the in the latter half of the film there was like rumors that they were like we might we might because of what's happening now in the marketplace might throw it in for a minute and then make people go to the streaming thing which is kind of the new standard is being like duck it into theater and pull it out yeah so i was like either way i was

like i don't want to i don't give a shit was like, just put it out into the thing. But I just see it happening now, which is kind of wild. It happens a lot, yeah. I don't have anything to do with us. But we, you know, I guess we have gone on. We're going to do a little like six or seven city tour and do some screening and stuff. So we'll get to see it in theaters with people. Fuck yes. Well, go watch it.

Go watch Quasi right now. We end the episode the same way, boys. Can I? Uh-huh. I want to promote something. Okay, cool. Do it. I'm like a little animal in the grass waiting. I saw you do that. Cobbs Comedy Club

in San Francisco, mid-May. What are your dates, bro? You love a guy that mids the month. 15th, maybe? You love a guy that goes, can I promote something? I don't know when it is. I have a podcast starting called mustache tales with hayes mcarthur love that uh who played uh one of the mounties and

super troopers too and uh you know it'll be on j chandra sakar.com go to j chandra sakar.com check out the podcast uh please go see him at cobs comedy club san francisco shout out i love you guys i haven't played there in a couple years and i should should go back. But in the meantime, watch this, dude. How many shows are you doing? Do you know? Five. Five shows. The guy's got five shows in him, and the fifth show is the best.

It's free. That's all I'm saying. Fifth show's free, guys. It is the best show. You guys want to plug anything else? No. What are we plugging? We don't know.

We got a new season of Tacoma FD coming up. Tacoma's coming in July, I think. Yeah, probably July. That's the same thing as us. I don't know what the date is. It's hard to know. It is hard to know. I get that. It's coming in July, I think. Yeah, probably July. Summer. Yeah. That's the same thing as us. I don't know what the date is. It's hard to know. It is hard to know.

I get that. There was a man that sent you an email. At the time of this, I've got a, I'm releasing a ready to drink cocktail. What? What's it called? Rhino Dart. Rhino Dart. Yeah, it is like, it's an agave based bubbly margarita.

It's delicious. Whoa, he looks at the Spanish guy when he says some bullshit like that. Well, because he's the first. He's like, I like the sound of that. I know it's gonna be good. I like the sound of that. Go get some rhino dart.

Kev, nothing? Anything? Nah, fuck it. Other than Quasi. Fuck these guys. Keep watching, supporting these guys. Thank you guys so much. We end the episode the exact same way. Each of you has a camera that you should be looking in. So you would look straightforward.

No, you'd look straightforward like the old days right there. That's you. Boys, you're over there. All right. That's not a dedicated camera. That's a two shot. Yeah, it is a two shot. And I'll tell you why.

We talked before and we said, who deserves a one? Who deserves a two? Yeah. Director kind of is is gonna get the one you know what I mean this is just how it goes welcome to the biz what about the lead actor

in the fucking movie bro well you know there it is right there yeah you got one you have to share it with your co-star sell it bro so we end the show

the same way you say one word or one phrase if you don't feel like doing a word into the camera when you're ready so go

Kevin and then you guys can do a word or a phrase but what like anything any word any phrase you want it's gonna end the episode

it'll be embedded in history forever as the end of the Whiskey Ginger episode with the Broken Lizard Boys okay this'll be so when you're ready go ahead

I'm ready this is from our Australia trip meat pie boys I'm ready do it I love vodka

covfefe boys. I'm ready. Do it. I love vodka. Covfefe. In here, we pour whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey.

You are that creature in the ginger beard. Sturdy and ginger. Like vampires, the ginger gene is a curse. Gingers are beautiful.

You owe me $5 for the whiskey and $75 for the horse. Gingers are beautiful. You owe me $5 for the whiskey and $75 for the horse. Gingers are hell no. This whiskey is excellent. Ginger. I like gingers.