Whiskey Ginger with Andrew Santino - Caitlin Peluffo loves a short king 👑| Whiskey Ginger

Episode Date: October 2, 2026

Welcome to Whiskey Ginger a Wave series. Andrew Santino sits down with comedian Caitlin Peluffo for a hilarious conversation about stand-up, dating, relationships, bad decisions, life on the road, and all the questionable choices that eventually become great material. Caitlin was a finalist on Kevin Hart's Funny AF on Netflix and has appeared on The Late Show with Stephen Colbert, The Late Late Show with James Corden, The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon, After Midnight, and Comedy Central. Her brand-new stand-up special, Prosciutto Rose, is out now and streaming free on YouTube. Caitlin gets into breakups, dating short kings, and everything else that comes with being a self-described lovable loose cannon. Watch Caitlin Peluffo: Prosciutto Rose: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8M5HKgLyjcI Check out Caitlin's tour dates and more: https://www.caitlinpeluffo.com Follow Caitlin Peluffo: https://www.instagram.com/caitlinpeluffo Follow Andrew Santino: https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino Follow Whiskey Ginger: https://instagram.com/whiskeygingerpodcast #WhiskeyGinger #AndrewSantino #CaitlinPeluffo #ProsciuttoRose Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Wish Ginge fans, I am going to be playing Sloan Park. Sloan Park, October 18th. That's where my Chicago Cubs spring train with Dave Chappelle. You might have heard of him, David Chappelle. Famous stand-up comedian. I'm opening for Dave Chappelle at Sloan Park in Mesa. On October 18th, I'm so very excited. And also, Whiskey Ginger fans, I got a ton of dates.

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I like gingers. Ladies gentlemen, welcome back to Whiskey Jr. My guest is one of my favorite people in Arthur's said it from my guest's what I mean. Once again today, it's Caitlin Palufo. Hello! I love the way you said it, like a Mexican soccer announcer. Belufo! Belufo! Yes!

I said to you when you walked in, this is a soccer jersey, but this is World Cup-Ipan celebration, but you said no. No, this is urban outfitters and it hides my sweat stains. So I wear it during the summertime. Smart. Yeah, yeah, I love it. But I am a big fan of the World Cup, but this is not. I would never put a man's name on my back. That's crazy.

Who's on there? Who's back there? There's no one. Oh, that's good. Yeah, you would never support wearing a jersey of another. But I have a woman's World Cup jersey for the U.S. I have Kristen Press. See, Kristen Press?

I don't know who that is. She's a, I don't follow soccer. It's okay. She played for Angel City, and then she also, I have the U.S. Women's World Cup or National Team jersey. She was very good. She was a very, you know, she was a great player. She could play anywhere, which I liked. Did you play soccer as a kid?

I did. I did. I was one of those nerds. This is all lining up. Yeah. Let's not talk about it because I'm Mr. No soccer. No? That's okay.

You don't have to. I just, the World Cup, I'm like, yeah, cool. I just, but I don't fucking care. I mean, I started this little series where I just talk about the soccer players and how hot they are. You know, basically, be like, do you know whose abs or ass this is? You know, it's very highbrow stuff. I know Messi's ass. Yeah.

A lot of men. I will say a lot of men do. And they're like, that is the ass of the God. But the amount of comments that I get that are like, it's football, you idiot. I was like, well, I'm doing this in America, soccer head, you idiot. It's soccer here. It's soccer here. It's not football.

It's not. We have football. Just accept it. We're not going to change. It's not going to be different. This is what it is. We have football. By the way.

Where does soccer come from? Why do we call it soccer and not football? Why were we late to this? Because literally, the whole. whole world played soccer before us and then we just called it soccer that's so cool of america to be like fuck you we'll name it something else we have a different football okay and it's uh played with your hands so it is crazy to rename an international sport that's been around for yes hundreds of years that's so funny so cocky yeah very very trumpy before 250 years baby it's british in origin

so the brits did it to themselves yeah it's it's because they both developed in very different types of whatever things. But I mean, it's the exact same game. Exactly. Well, because one came from rugby, rugby football, and the other came from S Soccer Association Football. The latter term was shortened to soccer, sometimes spelled soccer like a sock on your foot. Oh. See, we learn.

I like the... Here we learn on the show. This is nice. We may not be having whiskey, but we're learning. Well, I'm always curious for the etymology of stuff, because I'm like, how did that even get to be that thing? Because I tried soccer when I was a little kid. Uh-huh. Me no like.

Didn't take. I just wanted more I liked physical and I know people like soccer physical I liked um hit kill I get it score totally scoring was a nightmare football like football

baseball basketball anything where it's like hit stuff yeah yeah yeah hit people hit stuff bang boom bam boom go wow like an American boy bang bang bang bang that's who we are we like that soccer was like go go go go

go, go, go, go. Like, it never paid off. That's very true. It hurt my heart. I get it, but I was the, I like a bang, bang. You were a striker? I was a middle fielder, and so then you got to protect the ball, but you got to hit a lot of things. Right, you got to be physical.

I got to be physical. Did you play in college? I played one year in college. Yeah, yeah. What happened after that? Well, Caitlin likes a little drink. Ah, yes. So at 10 a.m. and you're like, you want a whiskey?

I was like, well, I only got to drive to the Burbank airport. It's not that far. It's not that far. All right, we'll have a little one. We'll have a little one. We'll have a little one. But, no, I got out of shape because I didn't drink up until through high school because I want to play soccer. What do you got out of shape?

In college? In college. I played my first year. And then I went home for the summer and I just partied my ass off. Oh, that's, I haven't stopped since I was 15 years ago. I know. And it was a blast. And then I just didn't keep up with the fitness.

And your coach was like, hey, man, this is a. I was the last one cut. Yeah. What? Yeah. This was like a Disney movie. I mean. And you didn't have the, you didn't have like the gumption to try to get back on the team?

I literally asked him, I was like, I'll do anything. And he's like, well, we can make you a red shirt. And I was like, I'm not doing that. Yeah, because then you get an extra year of school. Because I was already a red shirt. So I was like six years of college. I can't. This is too pathetic.

Some of my friends. Shout out Arizona State. A lot of my friends did six or seven. Yeah, but are they professional football players now? Most of them work in the food industry. Okay. just kidding. We got bartenders. We got line cooks. Yeah.

Most of my friends are they're food concierge. So they drive for Pussmates. Oh, a Dredash. A Dredash. It's a wonderful company. Cheers to you, by the way. And you're only, by the way, you're only going to Burbank. And who cares? If you crash, you crash. It's six miles or something. And also, when I saw this one, I used to sell all the time. I also

used to be a bartender. And I did it all too. Yeah, and that was my favorite. I would always recommend that one. It's so good. Yeah, it's delightful. And then you just collect all the little heads. I got the little horses.

You got all the little horses? I've done it like six times. Wow, good job. I don't know, that's kind of sad. Well, no, it's called whiskey ginger. Yeah, it's supposed to be. Yeah, I'm supposed to like whiskey. You're just good at your job.

When did you start drinking? 18. It was the initiation for making the soccer team. Yeah, that was the first drink you had. You didn't drink in high school at all. Not at all. I was so afraid that I would not be able to play soccer in college because they make it seem like if you want a scholarship, if you want to get into school. And I wanted, at that time, I wanted to go pro. I wanted to be a professional soccer player. And you could have? No. You really don't think so? I don't think so. When I look back, I was good. I was really good. I could have played four years in college at a good college.

Like in high school, were you like Allstate or any of that stuff? Were you like it? Yeah, I think so. I think it was Allstate. Yeah. All conference, all that. I mean, I don't. Yeah, I have a lot of placards. You have a lot of actors. You have a lot of academic. Yes. And mom's house? At mom's house. And they're still up on the wall? No, no, they moved, but they were up on the wall. My sister got married and all of her those on there and then mine was just all soccer and being alone. I was like, cool. Wedding photos that you just, you with a soccer ball next to them. Literally, that's what it was. Yeah, it was kind of sad. It's not sad. Well, I'm sitting on my stomach with a ball in my legs.

By an oak tree. Yeah, exactly. Or this one, the one of leaning against an oak. tree was always such a funny. Because we're near the same generation. That was our classes, like, hiding behind a tree or, like, near a tree in the woods. I don't know why that became. That's what it was in the Midwest. Where'd you grow up? San Bruno.

Don't you know San Bruno? San Bruno. San Francisco, California. Okay, okay. Yeah, Bay Area. In the Midwest, it was, like, it was all, like, we got to get to a wooded area, forest, and you have to, like, be near a tree or, like, lay next to a group of, like, near a little body of water.

It was like go near a lake. That's our... It's cute. It was cute. Yeah, we didn't have that. We were like, stand next to a goal post and lean on it, you know? So there's literally a picture of me in the San Mateo Times, okay? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Find it. I was athlete of the week a few times, okay? Yeah, I'm not joking. Thank you. I really peaked in high school. But I'm leaning against the goalpost and I'm holding a ball and I'm just like, like, swagger. I was really... I really thought I was hot.

You know who I am on the shit. Yeah, I'm Caleb Palufo. I'm really good in San Bruno. Mediocre, anywhere else. Where'd you go to college? You see San Diego. Oh, my God. So you like to party?

You're a bad girl. Oh, my God, yeah. We did this, the initiation, and I had to have Malibu with rum. Oh, I hate Malibu. For the first time. Well, when it's your first drink. Sure, I'm sure. Yeah, yeah.

This is great. This is delightful. Sugar bomb. Yeah. It was great. And they were like, do you want more? And I was like, oh, if you want more, you want more, you got to do push-ups.

So I'm literally dressed in this cavewoman outfit. Because for initiation, they try and humiliate you. Sure. Little do they know. You love being a cave woman. I'll humiliate myself. Okay? I'll do it.

Time and time again. So I'm dressed in like this cave woman out. They put these fake tits on me. And they always made sure the nipples were showing. Okay. Yeah. Fun. You know, I was a handcuffed to another girl.

And in order to get unhandcuffed, we had to do certain challenges. But luckily, the guy was like not a dick. And he was like, go get me a beer. And everyone was like, Make them make out. And we were like, we're not going to do that. Make them make out, that guy, the guy in the back. What if they make out?

They're like, all right, Kevin, stop fucking saying that, dude. You said it's seven times already. Yeah, but it'd be chill if they did, right? It'd be funny as part of the, that'd be like a punishment for them, for sure. Meanwhile, we're 17. It's like, oh, this is a felony. Yeah. It's prison time, Kevin.

Kevin's throwing up some red flags there. But yeah, and then they would just give me, they plied me with Malibu. And it was so good. Is that the one drink you can't have anymore now? You know the one that you drank too much of? No, the one that I drank too much of was just all vodka. Vodka you can't. Vodka and Captain Morgan.

I will. Captain Morgan is mine. That's yours. Can never do it again. The smell of it. Oh, my God. I took a whiff and I was like, I'm gonna. It's the worst.

It's disgusting. Something about Captain Morgan, the idea of it bums me out. Like even the sound of it. Just like the fucking frat boys putting their leg up. Oh, I'm doing. with the Captain Morgan. It's gross. Yeah.

You live your whole life in California and then you shipped off to the East Coast. Yeah. What are you doing? Like a real nerd. I went to grad school. Come on back, dude. I honestly... You don't miss California?

No. Wow. Okay. That hurts to hear. Okay. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. You're from the Midwest. Of course, California's like, whoa. No, no. Get out of it. I'm just saying, if you're impressed by Ohio, you're going to love California. I'm from Chicago. We're a great city.

We're a great city. We're a great city. I take it back. I like the weather out here. Yes. You went from nice weather to dog shit weather. Yeah. Well, I like snow.

What for? It's adorable. It's magical. It's pretty. And right, this sounds like a California kid. You're going to make fun of us. I like snow. Oh, yeah, well, you didn't grow up shoveling it your whole life as a kid.

It's a fucking nightmare. And your dad was like, put on your galoshes and shut the fuck up. And you shuffle out there and you're freezing your ass off. and you're 12 and you're bummed and it's slippery and your dad is like stop bitching gotta do the lines back on that sucks dude you know that is why we move here because fuck that the snow stinks yeah you live in the city now yeah i live in uh manhattan yeah see also yeah you don't have to shovel no i don't shovel yeah you like the snow because you see it and then a man in a truck takes it away i literally live in my concrete tree house and i watch it fall gently onto the snow

that's beautiful it's beautiful it's wonderful but we grew up having a fucking shovel and And then your dad would be like, go help Mrs. Wilkerson. She's old. And you're like, I don't want to shovel her. You know what I mean? Then you go ahead to shovel other people's driveways. And your dad was like, go do it. Her husband died.

You got to go help her. Oh, you had a nice dad. You had a nice dad. Every Midwest dad does that. That's literally, it's a code of Midwest fatherhood of like the old people in the neighborhood. You got to help go bring in her cans. And you're like, I don't want to bring her fucking garbage cans.

We would bring in the garbage cans and stuff like that for Nina who lives next door. Mina? Nina. Nina. Nina. And she was a single lady. Single lady all alone. We would come over, bring her flowers, and she would just...

That's exactly what she was doing. She would just butt waddling to the door. Just waddle over and be like, here's some hard candies. Yeah. You want some hard candy? I've got candy corn. Candy corn. You like candy corn?

Yeah, we love it. Ten pound bag of it. No, those days, I just don't, I don't miss those. I don't miss the... I love it. Oh, yeah. Well, again, in Manhattan, it's nice. Well, when I had a car, I would have to shovel out my car all the time.

Nightmare. Yeah, that sucked. When'd you get rid of the car? I got rid of the Ford Fiesta. Well, the Ford Fiesta got totaled. Not my fault, my ex-boyfriend's fault. Piece of shit. I know, he still hasn't paid for it.

It doesn't matter. Really? Hi, girl, it's a whole thing. We're going to put his name address and phone number right here. And so the fans, please rag on him. Yeah, no, no, no, it's fine. But then I got another one, and then I moved to Manhattan, and I just sold it. You're like, this isn't worth it.

In order to break up with my ex-boyfriend. Good on you. Yeah, and then I sold it, and then I was able to move into Manhattan into my dream apartment. Was your ex a comedian person? Yes, he was. Okay, never mind. I don't want to know about it. No, no, no.

I don't want to know about it. I don't want to know about it. Okay, well, let's move on. And what about now? He's single now? You single now? Yes, I'm single now. Good for you.

Trying to be, you know, a little whore. Oh, you're slutting around. I'm trying. I'm not good at it. Why not? I fall in love. Oh, loser. I know.

I'm a big dork. I want to be in love. I was single. I did the whole like, it's just me, my eat, pray, love, whatever. I'm alone for like eight months. And then I was like, oh, I'm horny as hell. I would like to have some sex. Somebody bang me.

You literally just did my act. Okay? I'm on stage in the middle of Toledo. Just like, fuck me. Please fuck me. And then they're all like, okay. And I was like, not you. Anybody about you.

He's like, I'm the only one that wants to. And you're like, fuck! I got to get out of Toledo. God. damn it so you're not so you fall your you're you're you quick fall you're a quick fall in love you want of these people that like within a week you're like I think this is the one uh no I'm more like what do you need how can I help you do you want to move in yeah but I'm but I'm but I'm not really sure if I like them you just want to like a broken thing yeah yeah I love a broken

what is that a lot of women like broken broken things I like a lot of broken things it's got to be something from your from your parents from a primal no but I think it's a lot of interrower you a lot of women like parents didn't mother you you you you'd got that instinct to parent them. I had a great mother. So you're fucking wrong. You're fucking wrong. But she did take care of my dad.

Yeah. She was in charge of all the finances. She ran the household. She was the money girl. She was also the disciplinarian. So my mom was in charge of everything. Yeah. What about your pop?

What did he do? My dad was, he was a carpenter. But he was just kind of like, whatever she wants. He was that guy. Yeah. Yeah. I like that guy.

But then he would also like rage out and stuff like that. Okay. Yeah. He would also beat the shit out of us and throw us down the stairs. But other than that, he was a great guy. He never hit us. You never got hit? By my mom, yeah.

Yeah, your mom hit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And now she's actually, I sense apologized and all that. And now you can hit her. You're stronger than these people? Isn't that nice to be stronger than them? When I bully around my dad, he's been around my dad. When I bully around my dad, it's my favorite thing in the world.

It's fun to be able to like, what are you going to do about it, oh man? And he's like, Andrew, stop it, please. It's my favorite. because how scared we were of these people. Our whole life was like, I'm sorry. Because we were bad kids. I was a bad kid.

I know you were. Every comedian. Every comedian I know. Maybe there's like three or four that were like kind of good kids. Most of them were bad kids. Now, probably because school was boring. You were either too smart for school, so it was boring, or you were so dumb that school was like a waste of time.

time. Either way, it sucks. And then you rebelled by being like, I need attention and fun, and I like to goof, and I want to be active and fuck around. And then so you need to get it out. So you become, look at me. Yes. Look at me. I was told that I was the dumb one. And then

in middle school found out I was a smart one. Look at that. Look at that. Teachers were like, she's dumb. Yeah. And then I, and then they had to take a standardized test to get placed in middle school. And I scored like the highest in the class. And they were like, oh, what the fuck? You know? I was like, yeah. I was like, yeah. I think I'm smart.

I just not good at reading out loud. I just don't want to do what you want me to do. It's an anti-authority thing. That's what I think it is. For me, I was like, don't tell me what to do. Yeah. Someone's like, do this. I was like, fuck you.

Yeah. That's why team sports were hard. It was hard for me. Really? I didn't like being bossed around unless it was someone I really believed in. Like I had a high school basketball coach who was a fucking asshole. He was a total asshole. And I couldn't stand the guy.

And so like, I just. I hated that. Like a guy I didn't respect bossing me around. Yeah. If I respect you, you could boss me around. Yeah. You know? I get that.

Tell me I'm a bad little boy. Yeah, I just don't, I don't like the authority figures if I don't, if there's no sense of mutual respect. If you're just like a bully and a boss, fuck that. I don't, I can't get on with that. That's why we become comics. Yeah. You want to be the master of your own universe.

Yeah. Mostly mine was like, I want attention. You need the attention. I was the middle child. Ah. Yeah. So I got forgotten a lot. I got lost.

I got, you know. But then I acted out a ton. And my mom was a school teacher. So whenever I acted out, it was like a real disappointment. Did she teach at your school? No, no, thank God. That would have been so funny. I mean, gosh.

Those kids, we had those kids. My buddy Adam, his mom was a teacher at the school. A sob at the school. But she was rad. She didn't care, especially if she knew us. Oh, that's good. I'd be like, I'm going to leave. And she's like, it's okay.

She was the shit. She didn't care. That's great. My mom, she would beat me. Oh, she was legit. Yeah. If I got in trouble, it was like, if there was any reason for a parent teacher conference, and there were a few, she would come home.

And she wouldn't even, like, talk to me. She would just take a nap, you know? She would be like, this is too much. And then she'd fall asleep. Oh, wow. And then she'd come back, and then my punishment would be had. Whatever she dreamt up? Yeah, pretty much.

Got a little air for the dramatic, huh? Yeah. I'm going to sleep. Oh. When I wake! Yes. You'll get your punishment, Caitlin. It's so true.

Yes, mother. I'll be scrubbing the floors until then. I'm literally sitting in the corner in the living room, just waiting, and she's sleeping in the front of. room, I'm like, it's going to be bad. Andrew, I remember that. My dad, that was, Andrew. I'd be in the basement, like, fuck.

Mine was Caitlin. Yeah. Oh, that's so good. And his name is McCone. It's not even a nice way to yell that. McCone. Sounds like an old Irish limerick. McCona.

I don't know if they said my full name. I heard McCone, Trevor Corcorre. Trevor is, by the way. What's your last name? Corcorri. The kid fell off. Wow. Yeah, you're just a walking limerick.

That's crazy I'm a corker I've never even heard of that His brother's name is Seamus Oh my god And the other one's Flanagan Flanagan These people didn't give up

They really want to keep that thing alive over there They really kept it as a little fucking What is that? See maybe I wasn't the smart one Let's take that test again Incline graph, whatever Go ahead What is it?

Like the bell curve? Yes No no no but it doesn't come back down again It just goes up What is that called? I don't know Right? It's tough You're like describing

the opposite of a bell curve. Yeah, the opposite of a bell curve. You're doing like a valley. No, no, no. It's like when you start here and then it go, an exponential graph. Exponential growth. Thank you.

Graph growth. Growth growth. Growth growth. I've got a graph growth. I need to show you that actually after the show. It's right under here. Oh, my gosh. We haven't even finished our whiskey.

All right, let's chug it. So you don't miss California. That really makes me sad a little bit. I miss the people. Yeah. I like the beach. The weather. The weather's fine.

I like seasons. I like when things change and I get to change. outfits and I think I'm too ADD for the same less clothes the better for me and also you guys take too long everything takes too long what you mean you guys chit-chat you guys are basically like Alabama down here I go to a coffee shop every single time okay it takes five fucking hours to get up like the Midwest though the Midwest is so much long so yeah the slowest place in the world New York they got three people working you say I want this it's done in three days there's one person just doing the eyes one person just doing the

shot one person putting on a goddamn lid but see it's great this is this is the argument against New York. No, it's four. No, see, because everyone's to do. Everyone in New York is like, hey, New York is the best city in the world. Yeah, no one gives a fuck about you. That's a stinky way to be. You walk in a coffee shop, like, what do you want? Order or get the fuck out? Yeah. I like, I go see this girl over here. Hey, what's up? What's going on? How are you? Good? She's like, looking for a sweet treat today. I'm like, yeah, you bet. I love that. I don't need that. I don't need that. I have places to be. I'm busy. I had to be here. Okay, I was like, and there's traffic, the traffic, suck my dick with the traffic.

Everything takes forever. Okay, I looked up how to get here last night. I put in when I went to arrive. It said it's either going to take 22 minutes or an hour and 10. Would you stay on the west side? No, I was staying under Beverly Hills. Midtown, whatever that is. Don't go, yeah.

I was there. This is your fault for staying in the wrong place. How about that? It was 20 minutes to everything. It was pretty nice. But this one I was like, how could it be 20 minutes or an hour and 10? It's on the way to the valley, baby. You're in, right, okay, for your explanation?

for a New Yorker. Okay. You currently are in, you're in Queens. Ugh. This is Queens. I hate Queens. Yeah.

This is Queens. We love Queens. I don't know. West Hollywood is, is, um, West Hollywood is kind of like, West Hollywood should be Queens.

No, this is Queens, and the east side is Brooklyn. Oh, you say Queens because of the gays. Yeah. Well, but that's... Oh, no, no, that's not where the Queens. No. That's Chelsea.

Yeah. But he's saying he means the queen because WeHo is where all the gays are. But for us, West Hollywood, from like an area standpoint, WeHo would be like, you know, grammarcy. Okay, got it. Something like that. See, I wanted to stay in WeHo. Yeah. Because it's kind of close to the store and I had a bunch of spots at the store. And I picked an Airbnb that was in WeHo. And then it said, actually, the location is here. Is that okay after I messaged?

No, it's not okay. What the fuck? It's a different place. This place was a nightmare. You wanted blue. We got you green. Is that okay? No.

What? That's such a weird thing that people... I've never wanted to do a scorched earth review before, but I think it might happen. Have you ever done that? You've been that lady? I've never been that lady once in my life. God, I love that lady, though. I love reading them.

They're so funny. I read one that was so funny the other night. We went to a restaurant that we didn't like. Okay. My wife and I were like, this isn't terrible. Then like a week later, it pops up on my TikTok, and it got rated by Michelin. Not a Michelin star. but you can get in the Michelin Guide

or whatever as not a Michelin Approved Restaurant and not a starred restaurant And I was like how That place sucked. Am I crazy? She's like I don't know I look at the reviews The first one was so funny This lady wrote a fucking A Bible

I mean literally she was like We entered and we sat down next to the fireplace Cute eight out of ten She was rating Moment by moment she rated the bathroom She was like they fed us bone broth Which was a nice a nice

appertif, but didn't have any substance beyond that. And we waited yet again for another four minutes for drinks to come that we ordered at the bar, six out of ten. So she went through every single piece, and then the restaurant responded. And I was like, you can't negotiate with terrorists. What are you doing? You don't

respond to that woman. That's crazy. You walk away. Hey, restaurant, walk away. You can't do that. That woman who goes on the diatribe? No. You're never going to beat her. No, you're never going to beat her. She's diabolical. She's also recorded everything. She has a journal. She's really, like, this is the only thing she has.

Yeah, let her have it. See, I am so laid back that, like, you can throw dirt on my face and be like, well, we just slipped, you know? And there could be bugs in the bed. I mean, like, it happens. Oh, New York. You're too nice. I'm too nice.

But this was so, everything was like a tiny inconvenience and it all added up to the point where it made me late for everything. Yeah. That I was like, I'm going to have to scream at this man. You should. I mean, it made me. And then the thing is, I would say, hey, this isn't working. Like the key fob to the elevator isn't working.

And he'd be like, are you doing it right? You think I don't know how to use a fucking key fob? Are you doing it right? And it was same with the parking garage. He's like, are you sure? I had to take videos of myself doing the thing to prove to him that I know how to fucking use a key fobop. And that's what pissed me off. It was like, you need to start believing women, okay?

This is horrific. And so everything just took away, oh, sorry. and then he was like the construction's not that bad. I literally opened my door and my door is covered in plastic sheeting because they're painting the whole hallway. Oh, no. I'm like, what do you mean?

It's not that bad. It lasted the whole time I was here. I had to leave a podcast because you were drilling into the fucking wall. Okay. Can I give you a suggestion? I'm going to write. I've got to write over me.

Get a hotel. I know. Jesus Christ. I was talking to Nick and he was like, get a hotel. And I was like, no, I want a kitchen. I like to cook my food. But then because I was late to everything,

I couldn't, I had to buy my food so I didn't save any money. Get a hotel, Palufo! You fucking goof! This is what drives me crazy about getting a hotel in Los Angeles. Here we go. I swear to God. You're some more bullshit about California. It is.

You listen, you listen, good, okay? It's every major city, I will say that. But you go to a hotel, you get a good rate, and then you have a car, and then they charge you $75 a night to park your car. And it drives me bat shit crazy. Easy fix. Tell me. Don't rent a lot.

car. No, because then you're stranded. In this place, it takes 10 minutes to get every Uber and then the threat of rape is everywhere. I don't know if you know this, but there's an epidemic going on about Uber's just raping, bitches. Why don't you do Uber women? Yeah, because that takes longer.

You guys always take longer. Okay, that's enough. What an exhausting Uber too. You've got to chat the whole fucking time. I mean, I fucking hate it. Where are you going? Where are you coming from? Shut the fuck up. Give me an Armenian guy that's like,

are you, who are you, Andrew? Yeah? Okay. In silence, no music. They're the best. The heaviest cologne you've ever smelled in your life. Oh, they're the best. They're wearing all black.

Yeah, thank God. I love the Armenian Uber drivers. They say, not a fucking word to you. You want to motor air? No, no, no, I'm good on the air. Okay. Silence. Like, I woke up, I was going to go to Philly for the All-Star game

and the home run derby. That's cool. Thanks American Airlines. I get up at 4 in the morning. I get up at 4 a.m. Because my flight's at 6 in order to make it to get to the East Coast to go to Philly to do it because the time change. It's a 5-hour flight. You lose 3 hours.

And I had to work the night before. So I had to go the day off. I get at 4 in the morning. Everything's good. We did it. We shot that night. Everything's rad. I get some sleep.

4 a.m. I'm in the Uber. Armenian guy. Are you good? I'm good. Okay. I'm slowly nodding off on the way to the airport for 6 a.m. And then bing, ding, ding, ding.

My phone is dinging. Thank God I left the ring around. Otherwise, I would have got to LAX and not known. They changed my flight from 6 a.m. to 1.30 p.m. No. It's not a real thing. That's not a real thing. So I go to the guy.

I go, hey, man, I'm going to go back home. I'm not going to, because I was looking at other flights like, should I get on an 8 o'clock or 9 o'clock and still make it? And they were all sold out except for like middle seat back of the plane. I'm like, five hours? Me no think so. That's tough. So I was like, hey, man, we got to go back. He's like, where?

where I was like back to the house he's like okay cancel trip put in again going back I was like okay I do it and he's like you don't want to go I was like no that they changed my flight he's like okay all the way back up to my house silence not a word the whole time

you don't want to go you don't want to go no no it's not that man it's yeah man I decided I didn't want to go I packed a bag I got up at four yeah I did the hard part already yeah you don't want to go no I actually decided that You know what? I'm going to choose my family.

Turn around. I'm going to stay with those kids. I'm not going to see my second family in Philly. Now I wanted to go to Philly so bad. I was so bummed out. Oh, that sucks. It happens. This is what I was talking about before the show. I've reserved life at this point now with stuff like that to go, whatever, man. Yeah. What the fuck? I was bummed.

But, okay. I think because we've had enough rejection as comics that. Like when shit doesn't go right, you're like, okay. Yeah. Surprise, surprise. Yeah. We get fucked over a lot. Like, big deal.

It happens all the time. That's what I have a theory that the celebrities who are comedians are the most humble of the celebrities because they still bomb. Oh, they still bomb. Oh, yeah. Like you come to the cellar and the big names, they're still bombing. Oh, yeah. I was about to say, it's so funny. I literally was about to be like, you know what?

And I've held my tongue. Yeah. There's a few people that we see that I'm like, who. Yeah. But you have to. It's part of the process. No, I love it. Yeah, it's great.

But only we really get to see that. Usually, like the crowds that are there that night sometimes see it, but for the most part, America only sees... Only sees the success. What a special. You're like, you should have seen that joke six months ago. It was bad. It was rough.

People left. Yeah, yeah, it was kind of crazy to think about that. We do get to see. Yeah, it does keep you, if you stay in the game. Yeah. It keeps you, yeah, it keeps you a little, like, beaten down. In a good way. There's always going to be that little thing in the back and be like,

oh, this could go badly. Yeah. And or you suck before you get on. You suck, you suck. Even when something does go well and someone's like, congratulations, you're like, nah, I suck. Don't worry about it. I still suck shit.

You know? Yeah. That's been my whole past two months. Like when you put something out, you put out a special. And people like, this is amazing. Congrats. I'm like, man, it's only 42 minutes. I stuck.

See you going down the list of the negatives. Why? It's just how. I know, we're built sad. We're built that way. We've got to get rid of this nonsense, dude. We got to be like him, a happy-go-lucky idiot. He's just chewing on a pop-tart. You're just eating on a strudel?

He's just eating on a struel. He's just a really stupid idiot. There's a little crocs are crossed at his bun. Oh, do-to-do-do-do-do-do. He's a child. He's wearing my socks. Those are your socks? He almost always is wearing clothes that I gave him.

I'm saying, you guys might be too close. Should we show her the thing that we do? What's the thing that you do? Well, don't worry about it. Okay. It's very close. No, we space dock. He's got a...

I put my wiener in his wiener. You know what space docking is? I heard of docking. Space dock. You guys call it space dock? Yeah, well, because we do it with zero gravity. Oh, do you both have four skins? Is that one?

No, he does. I don't. Only one can have that for that to work. Oh. Yeah, he wraps it over my... Yeah, we go to one of those zero gravity things. Okay. And then we do that, so we're floating.

Cool. It's kind of sweet. We get in one of those wind tunnels and we do it. fucking seeing if it works. His foreskin is like, blol-l-l-l-l-l-low. I thought you said you didn't like pussy. What are you doing?

I love a four-skin. I love a foreskin. I think they're great. Oh, you do? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're down for the four. I'm down for the four. Wow. Down for the four, down for not. The sleeve.

Yeah, yeah. I've had a few foreskins and I've been like, yeah, what's the big deal? It's not a big deal. It's not a big deal. But a sleeveless weenie looks better than a nanny eater. Not really. When it's limp, yeah. limp sure but i think that's just um we're not used to it it's aesthetics

eh i mean i have a pussy posse Pussies are crazy they are crazy so you see a foreskin and you're like eh does it not smell well she'll uh put a joe put up a picture right now of her of her vagina that she's going to send to us later just put it right here right there put it in so what you're in a panic attack mode because you're special for the last two months you're like freaking out well no it's uh no i did that funny a f show yeah and it went well and so now for the first time in my life people are coming to see me it's great yeah it's great

but of course people are like hey congrats you're you sold out and I'm just like it's not going to last forever this isn't stop doing that you know it's just a spiral it's like I'm repeating three of the jokes from the show because I haven't finished the last hour you know so it's like you know it's just a spiral

that you just how about this I don't deserve this you don't it's not going to last who fucking cares. Yeah, that's true. No one you know. Not one comic who we all see peak or when people have a big...

It's never going to last. You're right. None of us deserve any of this. No. This is insane. But so what? Have fun. Have fun.

Obviously, you rip enough for people are like, I need to see her. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Get that confidence true to roof. Yeah, I wish I... Caitlin the shit, palufo.

Could you imagine? Caitlin smells like shit, Pooleuf. See? You did it again! Are you touring right now? Where are you going up to the bay to do shows? I'm going to Sacramento.

I'm doing the Sacramento. Punch? Yeah. Have you done it before? Never done it before. You're going to have fun up there. I'm so excited. Sacramento.

My whole family lives there and it's the first time I've like, this is like the first big weekend I've sold out. And I'm like, oh my, we added a show. We added two shows. Yeah, I know, I know, crazy. But the second one we added is not selling well. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. I know.

I should just leave it at that. Nobody cares. Oh my God. I was talking to the Sclarbothers yesterday. I'll repeat this in my head forever. You were talking to both of them? Both of them. At the same time?

At the same time. It's exhausting, isn't it? I love that. They're so great. But they were like, they said something to me, and it was about Sacramento. And my mom comes, she lives in that area. And so she comes to every show. Every show?

Every show sits in the back. And I was like, I told her this time because they're sold out, she can't come to every show. Yeah, no. And so I was like, yeah, my mom's coming to like three. It's like, oh, three out of the five. And I was like, well, seven. But I mean, and I was like, I didn't need to say that. Why did I say that?

And then I just spiraled. And I was like, it's not going to last. Everything sucks. I suck. Just because of the show. You let the Sclar brothers know. It's seven shows. I was like, did I just big dick to Sclar brothers?

I want to kill myself. Come on, man. That's fun. Oh, my God. I was like, I thought about it for three hours afterwards. I'm driving home. Like, what the fuck was that, Caitlin? They didn't remember.

No, they're not thinking about it at all. They can't even remember my name. Yeah. Katie? What was her name? Katia? The loud one with the hair. Yeah, Katie Puffy Puss.

What was her name? Yeah, I don't know. We met her in Austin. I don't know. No, but I'm telling you, that's... They'll never remember, but that's rad. Let them know. Sclar brothers need to know when you hit seven shows.

They don't need to know. I was just like... You know when you, like, grow up watching people? Yeah. Like, I always knew of the Sclar brothers before I started comedy. Sure. And there's like certain people like that

where I just get tongue-tied and I just make an ass of myself. Yeah, so what? Lori Kilmartin's another one that I just kind of... Got one. She's pretty great. Yeah, Maria Bamford. I just, whenever they're around, I'm just like,

I just, Christian Finnegan, because I watched, you know, all those talking head shows. Yeah, all those talking head shows. Still, to this, I've seen him so many times. I know about his, like, family. Like, are you seen in his act? I've seen his act, but I'm in green rooms and I've talked to him and hung out, and I still get, oh, hi, Christian, you know.

It's crazy. You know, you're probably selling more tickets than he is. Stop it. Isn't that crazy? Don't say that into a microphone. What are you doing? It's all going to go away tomorrow. You're going to make me say something wild on this.

Look at this ascension you're on. You're bigger than Christian Finnegan. Stop it. No one's bigger than Christian Finnegan. He's a goddamn hero. No, but again, it goes up, it goes down. It goes up, it goes down. So what?

It doesn't fucking matter. I was raised to always prepare for the down. Yeah, prepare for the worst. That's an Irish Catholic guilt thing that we grew up with in spades. It's going to get bad. You know that, right? Yeah. But it's so good.

And they're like, don't. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't get happy, okay? Exactly. Stay low. And if anything's wrong. wrong, don't tell anybody. Yeah, bury it.

Shove it down. Drink. Take it out in the backyard. Go yell at the trees for a little while, come back inside. Yeah. Or work out. Or work out. Start measuring your chicken, Caitlin. That's what I do. You meal prep? I meal prep. Oh, Caitlin, what are we talking about?

I got hot. It's great. Don't let these baggy clothes fool you. No, no, we know. I'm a slow burn. Joe, put up a picture of Caitlin in a bikini right now for everyone to see. a podcast that actually did that. I was the only woman in the room, five men, two male producers, and the first thing they brought up a picture of was me in a bikini. And I was like, wait, what are we doing? Really? And then one of the producers was like, we finally get a woman on this show.

And you fuck it up like that? And you fuck it up like that. It wasn't on purpose. He was trying to be funny and look up feet picks, which is also not great. But I think you're, this is getting worse. But he was looking up like the first person was Joe List. He looked up Joe List's feetpick. Yeah, and then I was sitting next to him. I can't imagine any male feet are good. I got nice feet. I don't think so. I'm telling you I do.

Show them. Let's see these tutsis. Wow. Nice socks, by the way. I got a nice foot. Okay, look, that's a regular foot. Hold on, hold on. I got to prepare myself.

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You can't say I have a... bunion and I got nice feet. That does make sense. This is a nice foot! That's not a nice foot! You don't have a bunion? You better have a fucking bunion. I don't have a bunion. Yeah, you do. Women get that fixed immediately. Why? Who cares? It's just a piece of your toe bone. We're talking apples and oranges here, buddy. Okay? I am a female, you are a male. We have different life expectancy.

I know. You keep staring at Airbnb's and you're going to be fucking gone before anybody. You're about Palufo? She died in Airbnb. No shit. Rent the hotel, Palufo. You're selling seven shows at the fucking punchline and she's staying at Mike's apartment. Some dickhead from Airbnb who won't fix the fucking fobkey who thinks you're a woman, you don't know how to use it. Get a fucking hotel, will you? I was born, poor, I'm going to die poor. You didn't save any money in the Airbnb, by the way.

It always comes out to be the same as a hotel. That's the funniest part. You rent these fucking things and you're like service fee, cleaning fee, check out, all this bullshit. And I'm like, wait a minute, this is the same as a hotel. Literally, the most inconvenience day I've ever had, and he was like, I'll take $75 off. And I was like, you can suck my... $75? $75?

Thanks, brother. Yeah, I was like, thanks. Also, here's a list of everything that's wrong with your fucking place. And I put it in a message. I didn't put it in a review yet. We'll see how he responds. Let me say this. Okay.

Yeah, stay humble, stay grounded. Spoil yourself a little bit. I mean, I bought this jersey. Urban outfit is. I would never have bought this jersey. This is a spoil me? Yeah, this is a spoilt me thing. Really?

Yeah, it costs like 60 bucks. Seven shows. You're going to be okay. Seven's a fuck one. If you sold out one, I'd be like, hey, get a nice hotel. You sold out seven, lady. Buy a fucking hotel. I sold out six.

The last one's really struggling. You know what? I hope to God it sells out. And I'm going to text you and I'm be like, hey, hey, what's this about, fuckhead? Huh? A little sold-out, you little sold-out, Seb? Man, this is why you guys do whiskey. Man, I'm feeling warm.

It feels great. It doesn't feel nice. I'm screaming about fucking Sacramento and Christian Finnegan. Yeah. I feel crazy. By the way,

I never, him and I don't really know each other. I feel bad even joking about it. Now the guy's going to be like, hey man, what was all that shit on the show? No, we're just kidding.

Yeah, no. He should know, I do love him. Like, he's also so funny. I don't know him. I mean,

I know who he is. I don't, we don't know each other. Yeah. If you watch him live, you're like, this guy's still, he's got it.

Yeah. You think he's underrated? Underrated, yeah, for sure. He's so funny. Who's overrated? I'll never say that. Are you kidding? Give me two more of those. I was just going to say, I'll fill that up again. I'll crash into a side of a building and then I'll let you know.

Yeah. No, but the funny AF, by the way. Yeah? Did you watch it? No. Me neither. Can't lie to you. Please don't. No, you know what it is? Well, he knows. I don't really watch much anymore.

Yeah. It gives me anxiety. Watching comedy is... It gives me crazy anxiety. Really rough. I can't do it. Although I did see I did see

there was a clip that went viral of Mike Turner talking about he had a bad set and he kind of did a public thing about it and so I watched that piece of it Yeah, you know, just to like... He handled it like a champ. Yeah, man, he actually did a great job, I think,

and it's so funny, it did make me mad because I was like, man, they cut this so obviously to be worse than it probably was. Like they edit the fuck out of these things for better for worse. I was like, you knew they built it up in a way where they're like, we'll make it look a little bit worse than it actually was, which sucks, because they also make things look better than they actually were.

You know, I've been to some fucking tapings over the years where I'm like, that was not that good. And they made that look real fucking, sweeten it up. Yeah. Yeah. We, you know, as many times as I've done like stupid small filming stuff, and you saw people struggle and the producers are like, we'll take care. It's okay.

Yeah. We'll make it. You know, and they're having panic attacks. Yeah, yeah. Did I bomb? And all the comics are like, you didn't bomb. Dude, it's fine. But everyone, at coffee is like, fucking, she bombed.

That was really bad. They were really rough. I didn't do it. Yeah. I will say this about the show, halfway, because they filmed it so sporadically. Like, they did the first ones, and then we had like six months off.

Then they shot the next two. Way too long. And then they had like two weeks off, and then we did the last two or whatever, last three or whatever. And there was the, when we were filming the roast, there's a roast episode with Marshall. I did hear about it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. We were filming that, and we were all like, oh, my God, they're going to make us look bad. And then the Mike Turner thing came out, and we saw that. And then one of the girls was like, she was like, no, that really happened. And we were like, oh, fuck. Yeah, he was like, no, that was pretty. He had a rough one. And I was like, okay.

And then Netflix put out, like, a clip of him being, like, bombing in front of Kevin Hart. And they put it out on social media. They wrote that? Netflix did. And then. It's crazy, dude. And then Winston showed the head, maybe not the producer, but the showrunner, Bill Dixon, he's awesome. Yeah.

Showed him that happened. And he was like, hold on. And he made a call and they took it all down. Yeah. They took it away. And it was like, okay, they don't want us to look bad bad. Yeah, that's very not chill. So I was like, oh, they want us to succeed.

Okay. Yeah, that was a 24-year-old intern. And they were like, dude, do headlines for these clips. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We have these kids. They work with us. And they're like, they'll put together a clip and they're like, smelly is far. in the room and you're like, what are you doing? Don't do that. What the fuck is that? You're fired.

Why did you do that? What? It's so funny? Yeah. And then you, we got in a little thing the other day where I go, look, dude, I know you went to film school and you're a sweet little prince. He's my son. He is. He's been with me. I met him when he was 23, well, three, 22. 23. Yeah. He's my little prince, my little son. Okay. My little baby boy. I've gotten, I've cradled him. You breastfeed him. I did actually. He sucked on my teeth for a while. I hate that. That's too close. Really?

We would switch tits. I wanted to keep them even. Oh, good. But I told him, I said, dude, I know you really are a cinephile and you love the film world and you know more than me about a camera. Yeah. But I was like, but I know more than you do about a lot of stuff because I've done this for 20 fucking years. So there's some things that are like irrefutable of like the knowledge that you gain from. And I'm reminded of it when stuff like that happens when someone young is like, this is great.

I'm going to make this a click. And you're like, dude, don't do that. Yeah. That's not how this should be. Yeah. It's never going to be good in the long run for anybody. Yeah. And I'm sure someone at their computer, some young Netflix kid intern was like,

they're going to think I'm the king for this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And Bill was like, absolutely not. No, it's not. You don't want to do that. Well, it's not worth it. Yeah. And he did handle it well.

Shout out to Mike Turner for doing a great job of being like, yeah, fuck it. I ate shit. So what? Yeah, it happens. It truly does happen. I do love that he did that. And thank God he came forward like before it, before people could attack him, that he was like, yeah, dude, fuck you.

Yeah. You know how many comics eat shit? All of us. Every single one. Yeah. Even Kevin Hart has eaten shit before. We all eat shit. Hey, man.

Kevin Hart's eating a lot of shit. Talking to you, Kev. Don't you dare. That man changed my life. I love you, Kevin. You haven't eaten shit in a long time, and I think you're perfect. I think you're amazing.

I love you. Kevin, fuck you, Kevin. No, he changed my life. You changed my life. I love him so much. I'll do anything you want. I don't think he knows my name. I love him.

I love Kevin. That's where I'm telling him to go fuck himself. You guys are buts? Well, Philly. Who's Kevin friends with? I don't. No. Me now.

I'll do anything more. No, he's a good egg. I do like Kev. But you have to give people shit. Yeah, of course. Like, holy fuck. Like, we ran into each other in the hotel when we were in, we were in Minneapolis. We were in Minneapolis.

And I was like, how many fucking guys are you bringing with you on the road? Like, he's got like nine people that open with him. I'm like, this is crazy, dude. That's like such. I was like, what do you do? six minutes. He's like, come on, man, get the fuck up my this month. I'm like, seriously, though, you have that, but like, how many people open for you?

Two? You do host and feature. That's it. That's it. Like, whenever people do that, I'm always amazed people have like five people before them. I'm like, that's nuts. Yeah. I want to get up there. Yeah. It's not even like a... I just want to make sure the crowd isn't over it by the time you get on. Yeah. Where they're like, yeah, they paid to see you. And like, I know, but they just

sat through two hours of other comedians. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's in any fashion. You'd be like, I'm a little tired. Like, you sometimes at the cellar or late nights at the store, they're excited to see you but they're also like all right we already saw a lot of comedy you know like

oh yeah I've done the last spot on we call it the Boneyard The Boneyard it's like the 1 a.m. show that starts Friday and Saturday nights where's that at? That's in the Fat Black Lounge

that's called the Boneyard we call it the Boneyard the Boneyard me and Nathan McIntosh are the Boneyard Boneyard dogs yeah that's what we are me him

Brendan Sagalow. I love that guy. We're always in the bone yard. That's where we live and die. So you're getting what it's just the last spots of the night? Last spots of the night. You're off at 3 a.m. The Don Barris, that's what it is in the store.

It's the Bears not. It's like 1.30 or something. And they're just not enough. They're hammered. They're stone. They're just in there. And then there's a few people who are like really excited. They couldn't get tickets anywhere else. And so they're like, we waited and we finally got it. And it's like, you guys are getting the weirdest show.

Yeah. It's a good show. Sometimes those are the best. They're the best. They're the best because they're good comics, because we all know how to handle the drunk idiot, you know. Yeah, you're there for a reason. Yeah, exactly. They're like, they can handle this bullshit.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But then you still have to handle the bullshit. And they're like, why is that person just screaming in the corner? And, like, the servers are over it. They're like, this is my fifth show today. I'm so tired. It's like, I get it. We're all just trying to pummel through this fucking hour and a half.

Yeah, let's get through the last four people that are in the... The OR has that back in the day. when we do the OR at the store, and if you got like a 1245, which translated to like 120-something or whatever, yeah. Fuck, man. You were like four people,

and one of them is like staring away because he just got broken up with and he just been there all night. You know, and then there's a couple that's making out. It's not even, literally, they're either there because they're, they're like having relations

behind someone's back, so they're sneaking away. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like they're just making out in the, you're like, you guys could leave and kiss anywhere else. Why are you doing that here?

Yeah, yeah. Or they're just so plastered. They know the difference. And then there's always like one foreign guy, one sweet, sweet guy. Some dude that's just smiling and he's from another. He doesn't, he can't understand a word you're saying. He just looked up top ten things to do in New York City. And then he's like, I go to comedy cell.

Me go to New York and beat at the show. You want to come to the comedy cell? You want to come to the comedy cell? Yes, a comedy? You're like, oh, fuck. Yeah. Put them in the front. Yeah, those guys.

Put them in the front, though. Oh, my God. That makes, during the World Cup, it's a, it's a comedy. It's just been me talking to fucking Norwegian people. Yes. Being like, wow, do you go, oh, are you guys rowing? Okay. Get that clip.

Get that clip it. Put it up on the internet. Yeah. What Ron Taylor won, yeah, on this funny. Yeah, yeah. Ron Taylor. No, he's a good egg. He's a good egg.

He's the best. But see, it doesn't matter who won because, look, you're killing it anyway off of that show. Oh, yeah. I'm thrilled. I went into it being like, there's no way I'm going to win just because competitions. Why? Well, I've done so many competitions. I've come in second.

I think a million. times and you can't control the outcome that's what I mean like if you go into it with the mentality of like I only want to get as many followers as I can like I want my people to find me get some fans yeah yeah I want people to find me who are going to fuck with me um because I have no control over because I knew it was a live voting so you have no control that's a little weird yeah um it worked out great look at her don't want to criticize it truly it is a little weird when I go going into it I was like reality TV It's going to be like last comic standing.

No, they didn't, they didn't make it like that. No, it was so nice. And so I really don't want to criticize it because I'm so grateful. Yeah, good. They were really nice. They didn't make, you know, they could. I'm sure I said some wild shit. Yeah, we have it.

Roll the tape. Yeah, go ahead. Like, I'm sure. Three minutes of the end word of Kevin at Crafty. You're like, Jesus Christ, Blufo. What the fuck? I mean. I took a turn.

We all knew, but my God, dude. But it was, um, So it was such a positive experience and I had so much anxiety about it and they really made us feel They were quite kind to us knowing that Like the other people who went live Like truly live on Netflix

The other person who did it was Chris Rock And then now it's these fucking Six open micers Basically comparison to Chris Rock Not a little micros No of course not Like thank God I had done late night before Because you get that pressure

You were used to it Yeah that kind of like Fuck you get one towel Stand right there. All right, three, two, I hate that. Be funny. It's like, they open the curtain and you're like, Hello!

It's so uncomfortable. It's the worst. It's like nothing you've ever done. Yeah, because you're so not you. You're not what you do at a club. You're completely the opposite. Yeah. It's like you're very like, die.

Pause for laughter. Do not acknowledge room. I hate that stuff. I hated doing it. Don't think that there's a camera right here. Yeah. It's, but so they were very patient and very kind with us, so I am very grateful. Well, you're doing.

And then, so now you're on an arena tour. So guys, go to Caitlinplufo.com and check out all the arenas. No, there's no arenas. I kind of want to do an arena tour and sell just the amount of tickets I usually sell. Isn't that funny? Like, just the floor? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I think it'd be kind of funny to do.

Yeah. I mean, I'd lose a shitload of money. Yes. But how fun is that? It would be so fun. And, like, tape it for Netflix and have the cameras like swooping over all the empty seats. Have them with the plastic

over the seats. Or do the fake bodies that they put during COVID? Remember during COVID? In the NBA Cup, they put all these like fake cardboard cutouts of people. I was like, that's so funny. And the crowd laughing shots are just the cardboard cutouts that aren't moving. Yeah, it's so weird. You hear

laughs and you just see a guy with a bucket of popcorn. Actually, you just gave me a great idea. Next special, I'm going to tape all cardboard cutouts and then cooking the laughs. Yes. And cooking the laughs at places that it doesn't belong. Like, I get upset.

I get heckled from a cardboard cut out, but it's just me on the other side. He's holding the popcorn. He's throwing it. Honestly, I'm in. Also, I do think we should bring back fruit to rotten fruit to comedy clubs to throw at comedians when that's not funny. Was that ever a real thing? I'm sure in the vaudeville days, I bet you it definitely was. To cabbage, I think it was cabbage you used to throw it.

Or a tomato. Rotten tomatoes. Yeah, rotten tomatoes. But I think that was plays and performances less so than stand-up comedy. But comics, yeah, but we deserve fruit. We deserve fruit thrown at us. Some of these, some, you watch some of these comics. Give my people some fruit.

Yes, throwing tomatoes at a bad stage performance was very real in historical practice. Jesus. I peaked in the 19th century America. Historically, crowds were much rowdy or an audience. Participation was highly active while Shakespeare audiences. We're going back to it with crowd work. We're going right back to it. Shakespearean audiences through oyster shells, dried fakes and cavid.

Outster shells, that could hurt you. Cabbage. I knew it was cabbage back in the day because that's funny. But then the 1800s. audience in the US and Europe began throwing using tomatoes as projectiles. They were cheap, widely available and made for a messy splat without causing severe lethal injury. Disgruntal crowds routinely pelted, bad actors, musician, and comedians. For instance, a documented case in New York in 1883 sound acrobat literally forced off the stage by a hail of rotten tomatoes.

So great. Now that's awesome. That's the kind of stuff I live for. By the way, if comedies are going to keep doing crowdwork at the degree that they're doing, which is engaging the audience, I think they should be able to throw something. If you just do an act, no tomatoes. No tomatoes. As soon as you do crowdwork and it doesn't go well. Tomato that guy. I think they should hand it out the cellar. If you want to, there's a drink special where it's like a beer and a tomato.

As soon as someone says, you guys fucking, fucking. Oh, no, you've been fucking this guy. Okay. I don't mind the crowdwork. I just think if you're engaging the audience, that's what you're going to get sometimes. You're going to get rude.

My biggest pet pee was when people do crowdwork and then they're like annoyed that people are annoying. And you're like, what did you think? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You asked them a question. What did you think was going to happen? They didn't give you the exact answer you wanted. Right, dude.

You let the blind guy drive the car. It's like, yeah, you might crash. It might be awesome. You might make it home, but also don't ask him if you don't want to know. I always hate that. And they're like, what's this guy's fucking problem? It's like, well, you probably don't want to talk to you. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Probably do jokes and then go home. You know what I mean? And try to fuck his date who doesn't really like him. Yeah. He was hoping that you would make her laugh. Right. So he could get laid. Yeah.

Easy money. Yeah. Instead, you were like, why are you fucking look like an idiot? This guy probably is a small cock. Like, don't tell her that. She'll find that out on her own, thank you. So how many, on this tour that you're doing after you go up north? Oh, that's the other thing I want to ask you.

Mom's coming to all the shows. You like when the family comes to shows? No. Don't you tell them not to? Well, it's... Just go, you don't get to come. Okay, you haven't met my mother. Little do you know I have.

I'm your new daddy. No, my dad, my dad is terrifying. Okay, never mind. He's six-four. He's like a big guy. I'm just kidding. He's very sweet. He's very sweet.

sweet. He wanted to be a comedian, which is so sweet. That's why you did it. Yeah, that's why I did it. And he's proud of you. Oh, my God. But I'm so dirty that he can only see me once a year. Yeah, it's tough. Do you change the act in front of them? No. You do the same thing. I do the same thing. Good for you. Yeah, sometimes I'll acknowledge me like, my parents are here, you have to laugh.

That's good. If they can handle it, you can handle it. Put them on stage for a little part of the show. My mom would hate that. That's why you do it. Yeah. That's the whole point. Yeah, you want to still come to a show, Mom? Yeah. Make her never want to come again. My older sister, she's She's like, she's very sweet.

She has a family, you know, so like I'm doing comedy. It's like out of, she's like, whatever, Caitlin's doing comedy, you know, very supportive, you know. Sure. Just like, good job, Caitlin. I watched you on the Netflix and you did a nice job, you know. She's an old white guy. She's an old white guy. From Kansas, apparently.

Great job, Caitlin. You're on Netflix. You're really, we're terrific. You're fantastic. Oh, buddy. Oh, bud. Oh, bud. You were great.

But she, she's just, like, she's coming to the show. shows. And she's, you know, a little more buttoned up, a little more religious. I think she's seen me once before. And so, and this is my dirtiest hour. And it's like, well, good luck, Sarah. And she was like, she was like, uh, she also like didn't get tickets. Because she's used to me, you know, not doing well. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just like having tickets available. And so she was like, can I get tickets? I didn't know you guys were, you know, I didn't expect you to do well. And I was like, girl. You did good. I didn't think that was. What's going to happen?

I was like, girl, me too. Okay? And I was like, yeah, sure, of course I can get you tickets, you know, feeling like, yeah. Yeah, you want tickets, I get your tickets? And then she was like, can I get nine? And I was like, fuck. Nine's a lot. Nine's more than I thought you were going to ask for, actually.

I was like, of course, of course, of course. What about your younger sibling? My younger sibling, oh, she's just kind of floating around. She'll show up when she shows up. I like her. She's great. The baby's red. Oh, Jessica rules.

Does whatever she wants. Yeah. She's just kind of, she works for animal control, too. so she's kind of got a fun, badass job. In the bay, too? In the bay. Everyone's in the bay, and you left. I left.

I left. Okay. For the big city. I'm not coming back to the bay. For the big city. I love it. I love it. I'm a hot shot in New York.

I can get shitty pizza everywhere. There's not shitty pizza. Shitty pizza is here. This is the shitty pizza. This is terrible pizza. Hey, cut it out. Good tacos, bad pizza. Cut this game out.

I hate it. Dollar 50 slice. They're all dog shit. No. The dollar 50s are, although you can get a pretty good single, like a dollar slice. I can take you to nine pizza places here that are as good as any fucking New York pizza place? Absolutely not. It's in the water.

This game you guys play is such a lie. The water. You're like an old Jewish guy. The bagos, they can't repeat it. I am an old Jewish. We can't get water anywhere else. It's like New York water. I'm telling you.

You guys got pesticides in your water. I can't drink from the tap here. It's disgusting. You're eating all of our food. Everyone across the country is eating California food. I will say that. You guys have better produce. We're the agriculture king.

You're talking to someone from. I know, so get back in it, dog. Stop this New York fucking lie you're living. I love New York. I love it. I'll take you to Apollonius pizza here. It's one of the best pizzas in the fucking country. They get rated one of the best and I'll have that over fucking $1.50 slice any day.

Of course. It's $1.50 slice. You gotta go to scores. You gotta go to... So you gotta go to specific places too. This is my point. So when they go, there's better pizza in New York. No, there's not. There's more pizza per capita but most of that is bad fucking pizza. It just is. I would say our bad fucking pizza is better than

your medium pizza. What's medium? Like if you're like, you hear you either go to a nice place or it's a family that gets dominoes. No, no, no. Scars is like a slice place. And it's very good. It's in the Lowery Side.

It's fantastic. You got to go there. It costs $3 for a slice. It's fantastic. $3? What am I, a billionaire? Yes, you are. I'm looking around.

All right? This wasn't cheap. You can handle $3. Wait, this was a gift. This was a gift. McCone made this at night in his underwear. You made that? No, Ted Mon's made this.

He's a great, great artist made this years ago. And he made a bunch of different versions of these mosaics for other shows. They're very pretty. Oh, he's the fucking man. Let me tell you something. Okay, now we're chit-chat. Let's get back. Let's get back.

Okay. I love New York. Yeah, of course you do. I love you, slice. It's the best. It's bread, meat, and cheese, dude. Cut it out. I mean.

Just stop the game. I'm tired of the game. And the bagel thing? Who fucking care? The bagels are significantly better. Sure. I don't need... Who the fuck is eating that many bagels?

Are you eating fucking bagels every week? When I was really, really poor and not watching my weight, I was. Okay. But now I measure my chicken, and I haven't had a bagel in two years. I don't need... Bagels are, to me, it's like a thing I have sometimes. Are you clapping? Yeah, measuring chicken.

Yeah, measuring a chicken. I'm not having two years sober from... From bagels. Bagels. Yeah. Bagels are like, wow. It's like 500 calories. It's a fucking half a loaf of bread.

And people are like, isn't it great? And you're like, no. I don't, I'd rather, no, I'd rather have a breakfast taco over a bagel all fucking day. I agree. Come back. I make my own breakfast tacos. And I measure the amount of egg whites than I use. Come back.

I'm a psychopath. Come on, you sound like a California girl. Come back. California girls. Come on. I am a California girl, but I just don't like the traffic. Yeah, it sucks. It sucks.

It sucks. I like public transit. And I think if I moved here instead of New York City, I would have had two DUIs or I'd be dead. No, I don't have one. I mean, I'm happy for you. I mean, I am going to die soon, but I don't know. Roll this clip at my funeral. What a bummer.

He called it. He knew. He died, but no DUIs. No DUIs. I don't really. I actually am big on no drinky drivey if I'm going to go somewhere and have a couple of pops. I usually take a new bear. Yeah.

I'm talking back when Ubers weren't really a big. When I first moved to New York, I would be. Yeah, but see, we lived back in the day, too, when I was young, I lived in Weho. We all lived. We all lived literally every comic I knew. So then we walked to the store. So that was our little Manhattan That's nice

It was like our little I don't know anybody that lived Outside of the All the young comics up and coming You were like you gotta get an apartment of us Hollywood You didn't have it You just like had to Yeah it'd be like saying you'd stay in the village

You'd have to stay in the village Because for us we needed to walk to the store And get on that fucking open mic And you know Beg for friends and family spots Yeah And then if you needed to go somewhere else Yeah then you'd drive to go to another spot

But for the store kids Oh man We purposely would like pay more money that we could afford just to live near the store yeah nuts yeah yeah i still i i was i was i was drinking back in the day it was a bad girl bad girl good for you yeah even when i was in san diego i had some close calls that i was like not great not great not proud not great so i'm like yeah thank god i went to new york didn't have a car for a while yeah did the subway did the you still don't have a car now i had one for about 10 years and then i and then now i'm yeah it's gone

it's great i love it's totaled it did it's a Yeah, my ex totaled it, and then I bought a new car, and then it was... I'll say it. Her ex was Ricky Jervase. Yeah. Can you believe it? What a scumback. All right, what time is your flight?

I don't want to keep you too long. I don't know. What time is it? Oh, it's at two. My flight's at two. Oh, you have time. I got time. I don't know.

I literally was like, what if... It's so funny, if you bank this too close to your flight time, you're like... I even changed it to Burbank so that I wouldn't have to go all the way back down to L-AX. Well, yeah, you should only fly. out of Burbank if you're staying in California Yeah, I think from now one that's what's Well, it's also coming from New York It's way cheaper to go into L.A. You have to fly to L.A.X in New York.

But I'm saying if you're staying on the West Coast Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Burbank, dude, Burbank is king. Now everyone, the secrets out, now they're expanding the airport, so now it's going to be busy and not going to be worth it anymore. Do you live here? Right here in this room. Do you live? Like, is this your... I live close. I live close. Oh, sorry, I forget. You probably got some

weirdos who kind of like try and sniff your feet. People have some people figure out, but we live close. We all kind of live within. Yeah, yeah. Bobby lives within, you know, a couple of miles. Like, we all kind of live. Yeah. He's cool.

He lives on the east side. He lives in Brooklyn. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. He's young. He's cool. He's fucking with the cool guys, you know. Hip cat.

Yeah. I lived in Brooklyn for actual Brooklyn for a long time. And then I lived in, now I live in the Lower East Side. And it is. That's cool. It's cool, but I'm obviously the, like, the older aunt, you know, of the neighborhood. Everyone's like 24 getting plastered throwing up on my stew. But I'm like, how dare you?

It's too loud. Get out of here. We need to put a no honking sign on this corner. Okay, everybody's just hunking away. Lamia's fish market. What's that? Do you know about it? No.

That's on the Lower East Side. Yeah? One of my favorite. Your favorite fish market. Lamia's fish market. What do they sell? It's a restaurant. It's a seafood restaurant.

Okay. Wait, you've never been? No. Plug, shout out lamias. That places, I don't even know that's, I'm probably not saying. It's permanently. closed. Oh, no.

That's what it says on Google. No. When did that close? I don't know. That's devastating. No fucking way. Really? I was there like not even a year ago.

Oh, that sucks. Lamb's Fish Market. Maybe Google's cap and. Oh my goodness. Permanently close. Oh, I'm so sorry. I hate it when that happens. It's actually East Village technically.

It's right on the border. Yeah, it's right on the border there. Oh, wow. This is terrible. This is closed. It was a, it was a cool, artsy, like it was an artsy fucking yeah of course it was like an artsy

little fish market I used to love fucking going there oh I've walked by this before well it's gone thanks for not going in I'm sorry I'm not a huge fish person you don't like seafood I like oysters I like I like cold fish I don't like hot fish I understand how about this I like I prefer

cold fish over hot fish like I prefer sushi because we have it all the time out here but growing up in the Midwest you never ate sushi ever. You would go to, if you went to a cookout at a lakehouse, you're eating grilled fish. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Like, everyone's eating grilled fish. So as a kid, you just, I grew up eating it. But when I got older, I was like, oh, sushi's way better. It's so good. It's also more expensive. Way more expensive. It's such a fucking rip-off. But yeah.

You're like, you didn't cook? And that's my dad's first. They didn't even cook it. It's more expensive. My dad hates sushi. Really? The concept of it is insane to him. Yeah.

They didn't do anything. Yeah, that's true. They just kind of wrapped it in rice. I was like, they do, though. They pick certain cuts of fish that are good sushi-grade quality, and they cut it right with the same, you know, this perfect amount of rice, and it's a good proportion, and da-da. And then he eats it, he's like, it's bullshit.

He's right, though, dude. I do understand his, like, what do you mean? Give me a big fucking chunk of fish. That's hilarious. My dad would go and be like, where's the chicken terriaki? It opened under a new name. It's on 4th Street and Avenue B. It's called Aquarell.

Aquarelle. Aquarele. Equarele. There you go. go there? I'll go there. I'll give it a whirl. I'll go on a fucking hinge date.

Make them take me there. Are you rocking on the hinge now? No, I tried the field and I can't do the field. What do you mean? Field? Yeah. It's another app. Oh, that's an app.

It's an app. The field? Do you know what that is? That's the Kinkap, right? Yeah, it's the Kinkap. I, unfortunately, am looking for love. So why are you on the Kinkap? Because they said, my friend, you know,

Lisa Trager. Of course. Yes. She was like, oh, they're more likely to meet up in real life if you go on this app. People are like making dates, making plans. Instead of just talking. Instead of just talking and then nothing happening. And I was like, oh, okay, I'll try that. And met with zero people. They were all married, I feel like.

That's the kink. Yeah, that's the kink. Though farthest, like I was one guy and I sent him a picture and then I never heard from again. Like a nude? No, no, just me in like a bikini. Sure. Bikini top. Yeah, yeah. You're like, hey, buddy. Nothing I wouldn't post on Instagram. Sure. Okay. Sent the clip from the podcast with the five guys. What's that? You sent them that clip from the podcast.

You would have a five guys. He as well. It was like that, as harmless as that. Sure. And then never heard from him again. Fucker. Yeah. And then, but one guy was hilarious.

He was just like, he was like, what are you looking for on this? He was like, I'm married with kids and they're out for a while. And I was like, oh, I don't think this is going to work out. It's like, well, what are you looking for? And I literally wrote Love, L-O-L. He didn't respond. And he was like, oh, I can't help you with that. Yeah, no. What was your kink? Do you list your kink?

Cuddling. Oh, really? I literally, it's the most wholesome fucking thing. Because that app is probably home to all of it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I see some, and you take a look at it and you're like, okay, being dominant, of course, there's a man who's like, I want to be dominant. No shit, Sherlock, okay? But like, nothing ever is like, or at least the guys I matched with were never like anything too wild.

Nothing insane? Yeah. Damn, I wanted something. I wanted music. Yeah, I mean, there was like, there's some of it who was like, I want to watch. And that's like, well. You and someone else? Yeah.

A lot of couples hit me up to. Cuckin. A lot of cuckin. A lot of cuckin. A lot of. I really don't, I can't run my head around the cuckin. I'm not going to yuck. I'm not going to yuck.

Because I'd want to play. I don't want to watch. Yeah. You have a wife, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But like, I want to, like, I would want to hook up. I don't want to watch anybody. No.

You know what I mean? Like it's a weird, in my mind, I'm like, get it. Get me in the game, coach. Yeah, what am I doing over here? You're an athlete. I don't want to not play. That's insane. That's like somebody being like, you ever go to a comedy show just to go?

You're like, if I'm not performing, no. I'm not going to go to my job, then not work. Yeah. That's the same as cucking. I'm like, no, I'd like to get in there. Yeah, I'm not just going to watch a show. That's a, ugh. That's a fucking nightmare.

Yeah. The idea of it drives, you know, like family friends or someone who's not familiar with the world. Would be like, do you ever just go to shows? I'm like, what does that even fucking mean? No, that's not real. Do you go to your office on Saturday? And just go hang and check out the fucking, it is my desk.

Have you ever realized, have you ever realized like you've ruined comedy for yourself? Yeah, I hate it. I mean, comedy's dog shit. I used to love stand-up comedy. I loved it. And now I'm like, if I watch more than two minutes of it, I'm angry.

I love performing. Yeah. But I can't like watch it or be involved in it or no. Just go to a show. I was like, oh, sometimes I look at the audience and I'm like, how cool is that? You're at a show.

You were like, I'm going to go out, I'm going to go to a show, and then I'm going to go back to my little life. It's like, wow, that's so cool. How demeaning? Your little bullshit life. But I mean, like your life, like your beautiful life, that's a small circle, and you have, you've already achieved everything you want to achieve.

You have the family, you have your job, you know what you're going to do. You have your life, and then you go to a show, and you enjoy the show, and then you just leave. Yeah. Crazy. How beautiful.

That's beautiful. Yeah, you've ruined it. I've ruined it. I can never have that. Well, that's the thing that they say, if you want to fall out of love with something, start working in it. And that's every industry, though. It's like everyone I know, like I'm a big golf fan and everybody that works in golf,

and I know I'm like, how cool. And they're like, no, not really. Yeah. Because you're too inside of it. They get over the, it's just, it's a lot, just like for us. Yeah. The only time that's fun for me is if I'm like at the store or, at the cellar and I'm

going on and I'm getting to see a couple comments before or after me. That's kind of nice. I'll watch someone that I'm like, oh, I haven't seen them a while. I'll do that sometimes. Yeah. But most of the time you've got to go. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't have any time to stick around. There's like a handful of comments where I'm like, ooh, I'd love to

see what they're working on. Yeah. You know, and then, but most of the time I'm chit-chatting in the back eating chicken wings. Please go watch your new special. Chit-chatting in the back eating chicken wings. With double blue cheese ranch dressing. Is that your deal?

Oh my God, if I'm being bad, if I'm being bad. Okay, the seller has the chicken wings. I order all flats. Extra sauce. Okay, and then I get two blue cheese dressings on the side. And then extra, the extra sauces so that it soaks into the potato chips. Okay. And then I just, is this called the Palufo?

Can you order this on the menu? Yeah, it's not on the menu. You got to ask for it. I got a hot take that you're not going to like. Can I get the Palufo wing style? Yeah, yeah. I'm not a wing guy. You're not a wing guy.

No. Why did that upset me? I know. People love wings. The fuck is wrong with you. I never someone was like, should we get wings? I don't want them. You don't want them.

What am I doing? Where are you going to get wings? What am I? Just any place that serves wings, I'm always like, what is? I got a pit. Give me a fucking meal. I don't know. I love making a mess.

I just, well, how I'm going to. Yeah, you're a slob, but you get to eat through bones, like a meanderthal. I'm just not interested in bone-in removal of like and then like sucking off the gristle off the bone. Well, I'm not doing that. I'm not, I'm not sucking that. Well, then that's what people do when they eat wings. And they eat every piece of like the tendons.

I'm like, what the fuck are we doing? I'm straight. I'm not doing that. Nah, when I'm a bar, I'm a bar, like bar food. You know, like a jalapeno pauper? Fuck that. Nachos, though. Nachos are fantastic.

See, nachos hits all the, all the notes. Yeah. So I've got my, you get your cheese, you get your beans, you get your guac, your jalapenos, your pickled onions, the chicken or beef. Come on, come on, come, come on. Yeah. And you get a crunchy on the underside. Nachos are the home run of all bar food too. I would say, yes.

Because like wings are fine, but then, you know, then it's on your hands. And I'm a germaphobe, so I get like, I have to go to the bathroom immediately and wash my hands. Good for you. There's a place that Lorry's side, they've flattened out the nachos. and so every chip has stuff on it, it's the best. Well, tell me what this is. I gave you lamia. It's my favorite bar.

Oh, so don't give it away then. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I can't. Give it to me after the show. I will give it to you after that. You got to go. I literally, I bring people back all the time to this place, friends, and they're like, this is the best bar in the city. Oh, good.

Don't tell anybody. Yeah, I won't tell anybody. It's actually in Midtown. Yeah. It's way up there in Midtown. It's in Hoboken. You got to go to Jersey for stuff like this. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Every night Caitlin drives into Jersey just so she can get this. Yeah, it's truly, it's my favorite place. And I drink maybe once or twice a week now. That's it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Good on you. I used to really, whew. But anyway, I only drink at this bar.

Really? Yeah. Yeah, and they're very sweet. They won't post anything with me. They know it's my little safe space. They do a comedy show in the back, and they're like, we won't ask you to do it. I was like, thank you. And I can't go to that bar.

I text the bartender. I was like, you let me know when it's done, and I'll come down. He goes, okay. Tell me when it's over. Yeah. Kately, are you here for the show? And you're like, no, I'm here to get wasted by myself. I'm here to get wasted and then stumble home.

It's so close to my house. It's awesome. I'm going to get hammered and stumble home. It's the best. All right, well, we do need to get you on it. I need to set you up with love. Let's find Caitlin love. Please email us at I love katlyn at gmail.com.

And we'll set up the email. What is this? We do this all the time. What is it? Yeah, he's going to set up an email. I love Caitlin at gmail.com. I love Caitlin at gmail.com. Joe put up the tag there.

McCone's going to set up the email right now. C-A-I-T-L-I-N. See, look, you're helping. Send photo, send location. What was it? ASL. H-S-S-L-S-L-S-L-S-L-S-L-E-S-L-E-S-L-E-S-L-E-S-L-E-S-L-L-E-S-L-E-L-RU-E-R-M-R-E-R-M-R-E-R-M-R-E-R-C-L-L-R-L-C-L-L-L-E. We'll screen it. I'll send you the good ones that we think are legit.

Like people who want to date me? Who want to do anything to you? Okay, great. Date you, kill you. Cuddle. Mostly, I just want to cuddle. If there's anybody out there that just wants to cuddle, put that in the subject line as well. Cuddle and kiss. How about a kissing cuddle?

Oh, I love a kissing cuddle. All right, guys out there, listen, kiss and cuddle. Yeah. Also, let's not as good. Women, if you're, if you think you can also get her back to playing for the other side for a little while. If you don't have a pussy, go ahead. Yeah. Yeah, if you're a lady and you don't have one, also hit us up at, do we have the email? Can we set it up?

Do we got it? Yeah. I love Caitlin at gmail.com. I love Caitlin at gmail. I don't think this is real. Is this real? I swear it got it in my life. Are you swear?

No, you're not. You're smiling. I smile because I'm happy. I don't think this is real. Tony. Look at all the emails we already know. No, you don't have any. No, no, no.

See, this is all, we're all bullshit. This is all bullshit. But honestly, I'd be open to it. Set up an email of I love katelan at gmail.com right now. just do it and we're going to see what happens. Because this is a great experiment. And then I get it. I'm literally sort of like, is this real?

I don't know what's it. It might be. It's not real. No, it's going to be. He'll set it up. He'll set it up before. We've set up a few over here and some of them have worked out kind of for fun. Yeah, we did a, what did we do for Black Magic?

What did we do for Doc? That was before my time. Oh, yeah, you weren't around for that. We had Doc Willis, who's a great comedian. He's a shorter man. Okay. We called him Little Black Magic. He's Black Magic.

And we were trying to get him a girl for a little while. Yeah. Hook them up? Huh? Black Magic and Caitlin? He's a little... I don't know if she likes short. Do you like short guys? I'm the only woman on the planet who does not care about height. Little black magic. Because I be your guy, dude. If you make me funny and you have strong shoulders, I'll fuck you. He's funny. He's sweet. He's very smart.

He's like... How do I say this without sounding offensive? Unassumingly smart. Like, you wouldn't think like, oh, he's a nerd. Oh, I see. He's not wearing glasses. But he's a nerd. Well, he's wearing glasses. He is wearing glasses. Yes.

Yeah, but it doesn't look like. But black guys with glasses don't look like us. White guys with glasses, like dork, black guy with glasses, you're like, ah, intellect. Oh, really? I feel like it's a different look. Black guy with glasses is not, white guy with glasses immediately gives nerd vibes. Yeah. Black guy with glasses doesn't always do that.

See, I think I, my ex-boyfriend was very into superheroes and stuff like that. Nerd. Yeah. And so whenever, and there was, like, I associate black guys with. with glasses with also... Interesting. Give me... Type in Google Black Guy with glasses right now.

I bet Erkel's going to pop up first. But that's not fair, because that's not even a real thing. That was a... Urkel was just a white guy that they cast as a black guy. Because that was a white character. His name was Jaliel White. Yeah. I know.

Jaliel White. That's Jalilil White. That's Jaliel White. was Urkel. Oh, I didn't know that. Yeah, Jaliel White. Okay, let's see Black Guy with glasses. Yeah, intellect.

Oh. Seat. My point is proven. My God. Now do white guy with glasses. I guarantee you it's dork. This is my point. Okay. That's a hot, I understand what you're saying now. Astute, cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. White eyeglasses, dorkis. We immediately go to dorcas. It's just kind of part of the...

Okay. I'm with you. What is in the Simpsons? A gleeven, it's like that, you know, what's the fucking scientist? What's wrong with me in the simpsons? Yeah. I wasn't allowed to watch it. What? I wasn't allowed to watch. Jesus. No wonder you left. Dork. Dork. Yeah, that is a dork. That guy in the left. I know that guy. He's famous. Jimmy. Jeff Hiller? No, I thought it was Jimmy something. Anyway, all white guys with glasses are nerds. I have bad vision, I won't get it fixed just because I'm like, fuck it, dude. Really? You don't have glasses? I wear contacts. No, I don't wear anything. Yeah, I can't see shit. You can't see you, shit. You take these out, I'm blind.

I can't see either, and I'm kind of comfortable about it. I think it's like, who cares? How'd you drive? So what? Their big, cars are big. Cars are big. I don't need to read a license plate. No, no, no, only if they hit you, then you do. They made, they made the flow of traffic and driving for people with bad vision. lights are big. It's three colors.

I got it. I can see that. I'm not colorblind. I'm just poor vision. Cars are big. And by the way, if I hit a child or a pedestrian, it's like, I'll figure it out.

You'll figure it out? Well, let's cross that bridge when we get to it. Why am I put in the car before the horse? Like, what do we? That's like saying like, what if I get cancer? Like, sure, maybe. True.

All right. I'll get there when I get there. I'll start eating kale then. Yeah. I'll fix my stuff then. I'm good. So, yeah, if I hit and kill someone,

You'll know. I'll be in the news. Okay, yeah. No. I mean, I've hit someone with my car already. Have you? Yeah, he didn't die. He's fine. I have no idea. I could be dead. I'm very gullible, so I just need you to know that the email thing and then you hitting someone, I'm just falling for all of it.

He knows. I did hit a guy with my car. You remember that story. Yeah? It was actually terrible. Yeah, it was years ago in the rain, I had a guy with my car. Is he okay? I don't know. Was he? He was pretty banged up. He was pretty banged up.

Well, why didn't anything happen? I left the scene. I fled the scene. No, you didn't. You wouldn't be saying it on this. No, you would. I swear to God, I'm so gullible. You have to stop. You have to stop. I really will fall for it. I hit a guy with my car. This is why you can't start the email because they're all going to lie to me and I'm all going to believe. I'm going to believe every single one. Oh, you are a rocket scientist. I hit a man with my car. He was okay. It was in the rain. He was crossing the street illegally.

So technically it really wasn't my fault. Oh, I see, I see. But he was in bad shame. Yeah? Did he have ambulance? He left the scene. He left the scene because he was wrong. Was he undocumented? Because sometimes that happens. No, no, no, no. This is a mid-20s white guy, like a bro-brough with his bro's backpack, presumably full of drugs, illegal activities.

Seemed odd to be running in the rain. Okay. Something was out. Yeah, he was running from something. Hit him pretty hard. Shattered my windshield. Really? Oh, yeah. Shattered my windshield, glass on my face.

Oh, my God. Yeah, I brought my car to the auto body guy. He's like, what happened? I'm like, no, dude, it was a, and he's like, you don't need to tell. I'm like, okay, just fix the car. You're really in with the Armenians. Well, dude, you live here long enough. It happens. I mean, you can't get away from them.

We're in the valley. You go to Burbank Airport. You'll see him there. Oh, really? Okay. This is Persian-Armenian Central up here, dude. Oh, cool. All right. Yeah, you go to Glendale. Do you know Glendale? I have been to Glendale. It's so cute.

Yeah, that's... Yeah, a lot of Armenians? That's Armenia, bro. That's a little Armenia. I think I stayed there last time and it was adorable. It is nice. It's nice over there. It's like family. It's the suburbs. Yeah, yeah. Suburbs. What's it? It's gone.

It left? The place that Sherman Oaks. Oh, Sherm. That's here in the valley. Yeah, the valley's the best, dude. I liked it. Yeah, and you said you didn't like the suburbs.

This is great. Is it suburbs? This is the suburbs, so to speak. Yeah, it's like, it's really like, it's Jersey. It's Jersey. Yeah, it's kind of the, it's like, yeah, we're going to sit,

you want to go live with a thing? Yeah, yeah, you want to get away from the shit? Okay. This is it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You can have a backyard and stuff like that. Yeah, you can have like a house and a life out here. Okay.

You go to this city and it's like, poop, you know. Yeah, because it all seems pretty close, you know. It is. It's 15 minutes from me to get to the comedy store. Whereas, like, if the suburbs of New York, you're like out. It's an hour. Yeah.

It's a full, full, fucking hour. You're in another state. Yeah, we're like Bobby Kelly lives and stuff like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like, you know, and he's so funny. He's not that far. I'm like, on the map it is. Yeah.

On the map it is, and if you hit traffic, you're there for a decade. It's a nightmare. Fuck that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, look, how many dates do you have coming up? Do you want to plug any dates? This might come out in, this is going to come out pretty soon, but are you on the road for a while? I'm on the road for a while.

Yeah, I'm coming to Raleigh, North Carolina. Love, good nights? Good nights. Good nights. Good nights. Charleston. Oh, I'm coming to Tempe. I'm doing the Tempe Impro for the first time in my life.

Miami Improv. That's my home. Yeah. Florida, I'm doing a bunch of dates. Tampa. And then Indianapolis, St. Louis, Austin. Austin's almost sold out.

So go to Austin. Where are you playing in Austin? Cap City. Cap City is so great. Yeah, I love it there. And we're doing a mix of big room and small room. And so you should come. You should come.

You should come. That's it. What are you in St. Louis? St. Louis? November, I think. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right.

Kaylyn Palufo.com? Yeah. Oh, and the punchline, San Francisco and Seattle. I'm going. I'm going everywhere. And Portland. I'm literally booked out until March. So please pick a date.

Until March of next year? Yeah. You're sick. That's good, right? Yeah, that's wild. I think I have a crazy, I think I have a very

optimistic agent. Yeah, holy shit. Yeah, I was like, God bless you. No, but that's a good thing. Yeah, you want that? Get on the road. Yeah, it's brand new to me.

I don't know what I'm doing. Well, when you're done in March, you'll need to take some time to not. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't die. Don't die. Yeah.

How much time are you supposed to take off? I take off two days and I'm like, we did it. No, you need some time. Yeah? Take off. I mean, it all changes depending on where you are, but I mean, I don't know, man.

I don't know. I haven't toured all year. I mean, I've done like casinos and one-offs. Yeah. But that's it. I'm just not touring this year. I felt like not doing. Oh, good for you.

Well, we got the pods and the little thing, and I got to take care of my son. You got to take care of your son. You got to breastfeed him. Yeah. Got it. Someone hungry. Go to Caitlinpulfo.com.

Please go see her. She's one of the funniest humans alive. Genuinely, a sweet, cool, funny, funny human who is looking for love. So please go to I Love Caitlin at gmail.com. I'm not kidding. Please email that. Did you get that site? It's set up.

He's got it. I don't think it's set up. I promise you it is. Email it. Email it right now. Okay. Okay. Oh my God.

Go to I love. I am so gullible. I can't handle it. Go to Caitlin at gmail.com. Go to Caitlin Palufo.com and go see her. We end the show the same way, Caitlin. You say one word or one phrase to end the show. One word or one phrase.

Focus. Focus. Looking at that camera. word or one phrase. Whatever you want to do, it's going to end the episode. This is, will be cemented in history forever, whenever you're ready. Love, L-O-L? Ah, bueno.

In here, we pour whiskey, whisk, whisk, whisk, whisk. You're that creature in the ginger beard. Sturdy and ginger. Like vampires, the ginger gene is a curse. Ginger's a fugitive. You only $5 for the whiskey and $75 for the horse. Ginger's, oh, hell no. This whiskey is

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