Whiskey Ginger with Andrew Santino - Carter Cruise - Pornstar & DJ

Episode Date: January 31, 2020

Santino sits down with pornstar turned DJ Carter Cruise to chat about breaking the porn stereotypes, touring the world as a DJ that the entire crowd has seen naked, how she never wants to be a sex robot, her safe word and her secret love for ORC fantasy porn. JOIN OUR PATREON!!! https://www.patreon.com/whiskeygingerpodcast BUY SOME MERCH https://shop-andrew-santino.myshopify.com FOLLOW CARTER ON TWITTER: https://twitter.com/cartercruise FOLLOW CARTER ON THE GRAM: https://www.instagram.com/cartercruise/?hl=en FOLLOW CHEETO: https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino/ FOLLOW CHEETO TWITTER: https://Twitter.com/cheetosantino FOLLOW WHISKEY GINGER ON INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/whiskeygingerpodcast/ FOLLOW WHISKEY GINGER ON TWITTER: https://twitter.com/whiskeyginger_ TICKETS AT http://www.andrewsantino.com/ STAND UP DATES FEB 15-17 VANCOUVER, BC, CANADA FEB 22 BAKERSFIELD, CALIFORNIA FEB 28 DETROIT, MICHIGAN FEB 29 ATLANTA, GEORGIA MAR 6-7 PHILADELPHIA, PENNSYLVANIA MAR 13 CHICAGO, ILLINOIS MAR 19-21 - MOHEGAN SUN, CONNECTICUT MAR 27 CINCINNATI, OHIO MAR 28 CLEVELAND, OHIO APR 10 PORTLAND, OREGON APR 11 SEATTLE, WASHINGTON APR 16-18 MIAMI, FLORIDA APR 19 WEST PALM, FLORIDA APR 24-25 - SPOKANE, WASHINGTON MAY 9 PHOENIX, ARIZONA JUN 5-7 SAN DIEGO, CA SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS OR WE’LL COME FIND YOU AND KILL YOU DESIGN AND CREATE YOUR OWN CUSTOM WEBSITE WITH SQUARESPACE GO TO https://www.squarespace.com/whiskey USE THE PROMO CODE “WHISKEY” FOR 10% OFF GET YOUR ROCKET AS POWERFUL AS OLE RED. GET BACK YOUR CONFIDENCE AND STRENGTH IN THE BEDROOM GO TO https://bluechew.com USE PROMO CODE “WHISKEY” FOR YOU FIRST TRIAL FREE ONLY PAY $5 FOR SHIPPING!!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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You're that creature in the ginger beard. Sturdy and ginger. Like vampires, the ginger gene is a curse. Gingers are beautiful. You owe me $5 for the whiskey and $75 for the horse. Gingers are hell no. This whiskey is excellent. Ginger.

I like gingers. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to Whiskey Ginger. My guest today is one of my favorite people on Earth. I say that for all my guests, but I mean it once again today. It's Carter Cruz. Carter Cruz!

Hi, what's up? Do you see how I do that so fast? I had to warm up. It's early in the fucking day and I haven't had any whiskey. I was wondering if you were going to say I was your favorite person. You are.

I heard that you said that you lie to everyone. Yeah. I was like, well, then he better lie to me. You are my favorite person on earth. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers to you.

We're having a little high west whiskey today. It's the middle of the day. That's why I'm a little off on my speech pattern. Usually I'm a little bit quicker, but we've got it back now. Now we're good. Yeah, when you said 2 p.m., I was like, oh, God. Well, all right. We're drinking whiskey at 2 o'clock.

Yeah. You don't have to get blacked out, but it's always good to have a little bit of whiskey. Yeah. In fact, I like the old days when people would it was a normal thing like in my grandfather's era to have like a little bit of whiskey for lunch and it's but in america people like oh my god you're having fucking booze you're like this is not a this is not a it's not an uncommon thing for the world no it's just here for some reason yeah we're weirdos about that shit i like to have like you know especially if you go to a restaurant that's nice yeah the

salad i always have to get a glass of wine and my parents would be like, I took them to lunch, I had a glass of wine, they're like, it's lunchtime. I'm like, well, I'm not going to continue this all day. It's a nice restaurant and I felt like I should have the glass of wine. You're supporting the business. Yeah. I'm trying to keep them, they're not making money on the fucking food,

they're making money on the booze. Right. They know that. All right, let's jump back, jump forward. So I do say you're my favorite people on earth because i said that for all my guests but i mean it but i mean it um to give people reference you are a dj an entertainer um you dabbled in porn you dabbled in you tell me every i mean what haven't you done um i'm what haven't you done? What haven't I done? I mean, I haven't.

But you were like kind of full spectrum entertainment. I had a real job. Yeah, fuck that. Fuck real jobs. That's why we're doing this shit. Yeah, exactly. So now you're touring as a full-time DJ, yeah? Yes. And are you completely done with porn?

Is that out of your system? Is that done? Yeah, it's kind of one of those things. I mean, I never... It's this weird thing with the business is once you say you retire it's like you know people like if you stop shooting people think you're retired and no other business like say you took a break for a while no one would yeah no one would be like oh if you came back a year later no one would be like but an adult it's very weird like if you don't shoot for like two months everyone

thinks you're gone i think because there's a lot of turnover in the industry yeah i never like to say i'm retired because i mean i don't know maybe but it's just not what i'm focusing on right now i have probably haven't shot in like a year but i was still uh nominated for a couple of awards this year i don't know how because i barely shot last year that's awesome still got a little shout out you're like fucking meryl streep you could do like one one scene a year and be like nominate her dude she's that legit hey you know i actually was called the meryl streep of porn um really yeah that's dope i it was maybe like one of the best compliments i've ever been given fuck yeah she's the goat like to be compared to her as a girl by the way i said porn and you

said adult is adult the pc term is that like the new thing people say adult now i don't know i mean i don't know i guess a lot of times when i'm at like at dinner with people and i i just say like oh the adult industry because it's not quite as uh jarring to people when you say porn people start thinking of like crazy you know the images that come into their head are so much more like extreme so i feel like sometimes when you just say adult it's like not quite as like harsh you know well because porn seems to have this connotation that's been made up completely by by the same people that watch it right like that has this connotation where it's like this it's this seedy dirty wrong thing and you're like funny because every fucking person that feels that way is the person that watches oh yeah that's the irony about any of that well there's also like the the the

parallels that that that like you have as a performer um you know that we have as performers like our industry so to speak our performance adult industry whatever it may be we all have the same feelings of like i remember the first getting into comedy i was afraid to tell my parents because i was like they're gonna hear me say fucked up shit right they're gonna watch me like perform for fucking blackout loser assholes like it's just kind of like there's this weird fear and then once you get over the fact because you're like everyone does whatever they do that they shine the best at and i don't really care what anybody thinks anymore. But at the beginning, you used to be a little bit hesitant, right?

Were you nervous getting into it? I think, I don't know. I was nervous to tell my parents to a certain extent. But, you know, I kind of also just put it on the line with them like, hey, this is what I'm doing. I told them before because they're nosy as hell. I knew they'd figure it out. Kind of hard to hide, right?

I'm close to my parents. I love them very much. You know, they've always supported me in everything. So, you know, I called them up, said, hey, I know this sounds crazy because, you know, they thought I was going to go to law school and, you know, all this stuff. For real? Yeah. And that was just, I took a different turn in life.

And I was like, you know, I'm unhappy and I want to live a crazy life. I want to have experiences. And this is going to give me the money and the opportunity. And I think I'd be good at it. And my dad's biggest concern, you know, was just like, oh, are you going to get into drugs? I'm like, dad, I'm already into drugs. So I don't think.

You're behind the eight ball, dummy. And it was actually funny because being in the business actually really, because I was working every day at 8 a.m. So you actually never really go out or party. So it was actually probably like when I was shooting consistently, it was probably some of the most, you know, wholesome times in my life outside of what I was doing for work. Oh, that's ironic as fuck.

You're like, no, I just go right to bed after a scene. Yeah, exactly. Well, I think because it's trying, right? It's such a trying thing that I think people don't know about. I've spoken to many people that are adult performers, and they all kind of tell me the same thing, which is all the human sees at home is this little fucking two-and-a-half-minute snippet or whatever versus the 12-hour shoot day and all the bullshit that comes along with it. Right.

It's the same thing. And you know, when I do a TV show, same shit. People are like, oh, you know, it was like this and this and this. And you're like, yeah, motherfucker. We did that 50 times, two different ways each time. We had to change it. It got cut. It got edited.

So whatever they see is not what really happened. Right. So it's like a draining fucking process. When people are like people are like oh you know get a real job kind of thing i'm like i'm pretty sure i work just as hard as like yeah i've had like i mean like i've never had a real like nine to five job you know i worked as a waitress and like those kinds of things and like i mean porn was much more work you know it's like i don't think it's like i think it's pretty much a real job i mean mean, the longest I've ever spent on set was 23 hours.

No way. I swear to God. Well, is there not a union? Does porn have a union? No, we do not. And so you do not get paid a single cent extra for staying that long. How many people get taken advantage of financially

because there is no union? I mean, it does happen a lot. I feel like that's definitely, I will say it's changing with the industry. It's one reason why I kind of wanted to get out of the industry and like separate myself from it because it's evolving in a way that's good for girls but just wasn't what i wanted to do where now there's the only fans there's the patreons and so girls are making like so much more money the money they deserve yeah then they'll ever make off porn so you'll still shoot because that

gives you the name right but the girls are making so much more money so you can turn down shoots you can say i don't want to shoot for that person because i know they're going to have me there 15 hours you know but you have the financial security to do that and but for me that you know i liked going to set you know i i like the acting part of it you know i have no desire to sit at home and you know videotape myself being like sexy on my phone like i feel i feel ridiculous. That's not me at all. That's huge now. That's a big thing of this one-on-one with fans, all that shit. That's becoming part of the new norm, I think.

And to be honest, what you said is true. It's like, yo, finally these girls are making the fucking money that they deserve. These websites are making fucking billions of dollars. These companies that are ripping videos, stealing them, reposting them. I mean, really, porn is just a microcosm of what happens on the internet where content gets misappropriated taken stolen you know what i mean like that's what's so fucking wild to watch is like the for the average person porn hub is a the most free highly used consumption site right whether or not any of that any of the people that

are getting any of the people that puts content on there are getting paid for it doesn't care the consumer doesn't give a fuck so it's crazy that the girls now have a way to be like fuck that we're gonna put it out pay me right fuck this because genuinely that's what we're doing now like for years comedians our only platform was doing stand-up live getting on the road or maybe getting on tv for like the tonight show or fucking conan but like now it's like oh this is a new podcast yeah Yeah, it's way better. So it's kind of the same thing. It's putting the power back

into the performer's hands. And that's great. You know, it just doesn't really like appeal to me. But yeah, it's actually crazy with the whole Pornhub stuff too. It's like when I first was in the business, you know, Pornhub was taboo

because they were stealing everyone's content and they were putting a lot of people out of business. But then they bought up most of the industry. So the same company that owns Pornhub owns a lot of the studios now so now they're like everyone's you know but it used to be like you know if you signed at their booth you know people would be like oh like it was like taboo you know yeah it was like not like Pornhub was like hated like when I was first in the industry and now it's like loved, you know. So it's very interesting because they bought it all up. So now like people have to love them.

Fucking money rules everything. Well, that's the same thing as like I have some friends that are professional skateboarders in the skate industry. Nike used to be kind of the butt of the joke. Like Nike was like, get the fuck out of here. It was this, you know, bro-bro jockey shit. And skating culture was always this kind of, especially in the 90s, was always like a anti-authoritative fuck you do what we want punk culture right well times change right now nike's probably one of the leading markets in skateboarding culture it's just back in the day if you wore nike it was like you're a bitch like they got they got shitted on and i didn't even know nike

was like a skating thing at all they're huge they're fucking huge yeah they have some of the like some of the most reputable skateboarders that are pro right now. That's crazy. I had no idea. I mean, obviously, everyone knows Nike's a huge brand. They're fucking huge. I didn't know their whole

skating side of it. Yeah, I mean, there's a young kid named Nigel Houston who's probably one of the best in the world. He's probably Nike's golden child. Yeah, I've met him.

I know he works with my boyfriend's company. Okay, word. I think they just did like a little capsule collection of like sunglasses or a watch with him or something. He's yeah i've met him before he's pinnacle shit i mean he's tip top of the skateboard industry so like guys like him paul rodriguez is a buddy of mine p rod and he's a nike kid i mean there's a million of them it's just times fucking change right same

thing in our business but that's what's interesting to say that that porn hub was kind of like the boo-boo of the game and now they're like whatever who gives a fuck a fuck? Yeah, exactly. I mean, now they have their award show that everyone goes to and everything like that. Which is, I don't know. You should check it out. I'm gonna, yeah, check it out. I will check it out. I'll check it out.

I wanna move along to something else, but I do wanna, let's debunk some myths. I want you to help me debunk some myths, right? So here's some bullshit. There's some bullshit myths. You can either say they're true or they're false, right? Everyone says this. Every girl in porn is sad false false every girl in porn is has been abused or has a sexual traumatic history false false every girl in

porn has is on drugs or is an alcoholic false false uh every girl on porn doesn't really want to be there they're there because it's almost like a forced thing false yeah it's actually crazy it's you know some of like the most boss ass bitches i've met have been in the industry and like you mean some girls did have maybe a hard life growing up but then they've used this to make themselves you know they don't have a hard life anymore and they love it you know and then other girls i mean think about me like i mean i'm from the suburbs i was very privileged growing up you know i went to i went I had good grades, you know, and I have loving family and I had a very sheltered existence, you know, not so much to the point where, you know, I had to rebel, you know, because I wasn't allowed to do anything, you know, but I was very, you know, it's always so

interesting because I'm like, I'm the least like stereotypical person that you would imagine in it. But most of my friends that I've met in the business are just like that. They have good relationships with their parents. You know, and it's, I don't know. Do you think the stereotype grew from something in the beginning of porn, and then it just got washed away?

I think it grows from just like maybe what things make headlines and stuff. You know, like if a girl ODs, and they're like, oh, porn star ODs, you know, kind of thing. They're all oh yeah but it's like there's also like thousands of other girls who are completely healthy and everything like that exactly well it's not like because your dad didn't give you chocolate you're like i can't

have chocolate i'm gonna suck dick on camera that's not like that's not the parallel i think it's like for me and like my dad's such like a feminist like you know he was always like you don't need a man to do anything and he's just never you know doesn't i don't know he's never like i think like a lot of dads like you know their little girl they're like oh you know, he was always like, you don't need a man to do anything. And he's just never, you know, doesn't, I don't know. He's never like, I think a lot of dads, like, you know, their little girl, they're like, oh, you know, you don't want her to be defiled or something like that. I don't think like my dad really thinks about like women in the sense that they need to be protected. And he knows that I'm smart, capable.

You're a grown ass woman. Yeah. And he's like, if you're happy and you're successful, like, you know, he has no issue with that. But so I think that's for me why I mean, one of my friends, we always joke about it's like we have daddy issues, but not like the daddy issues you think about. But because we have such like strong male role models that our standards for men are like very high, you know, and like and we also like the way I just interesting for like,

oh, we have daddy issues, just not the way you think. Yeah. You got to be a good daddy. Yeah. You got to be a really good daddy to compete with your shit yeah that's i mean that's wow because i think that like i i have i i know enough people in in the industry that i'm like god all these motherfuckers are like the opposite of what this of what the um i guess the all american idea of what porn is right like middle of the country and not like i'm shitting on them

i'm from there but it's like that kind of world of like the no, no, porn is wrong, porn is bad type of perspective is because they've fabricated all these things about the business, right? And like not to make a shitty parallel, but truthfully, like we deal with the same thing. Like what I do for a living is a joke to these people. Most people are like fucking comedy is a joke.

Entertainment is a joke. You know, there's no validity to it. They don't, it's an extremely tasking thing. But for them, it's like, nah, you fucking, you tell fart jokes and they give you money. And don't you's a it's an extremely tasking thing but for them it's like nah you fucking you tell fart jokes and they give you money right yeah and don't you just make it up on the spot it's like yeah yeah we don't plan we don't fucking work hours and hours and hours it doesn't take you got the touring like you're alone and probably working especially before you make it you know i mean i'm sure it's just like so much i mean i experienced that as a dj you know just

like i don't have a budget to like bring a huge team with me so i'm flying to and i don't get to go to you know yeah next like this weekend i'm playing in vegas i get to do those things but a lot of times i'm going to bum fuck you know middle of nowhere fayetteville arkansas you know and it's just me you know so and like that does wear on you and people don't see that side of it they only see you know they see the finish porn or they see the final show of you djing where it's like this crazy party and they don't see all the times in between that you're like grinding your ass off or you're just like lonely as fuck in a hotel room and that's some real ass shit i've been low i've been lonely so many times in a fucking hotel where i've stared

out the window for too long and been like this is from 10 000 feet this is the saddest thing ever if there was a drone just like i've seen me half naked staring at a hotel room really sad in minneapolis they'd be like this fucking poor dude you probably get like i mean i'm sure it's the same thing because you get kind of like a high after shows right like so when i'm like dj it's like you get all this adrenaline you're having the best time you know you're on top of the world yeah and then you go back to your hotel room and it's two o'clock and it's too you know awake to go to sleep and then you just are sitting there and alone and that's where your brain's all awake and you start thinking all overthinking all these things yeah and i always get like hotel room sad like you

know and it's crazy because you'll have these high highs and these very low lows but well that's i mean that's kind of like what for us at least it's the reason that a lot of comics you know abuse substances i mean truthfully because we get so high on stage like i get so ripped on stage in terms of like performance rip that afterwards you want to have a thousand of those or you want to get stoned or you want to take something you want to go out and get to kind of take it back down because something has to give you some sort of like you want to kind of chase the dragon a little bit but you're also like you're already fucked up you're already high from the performance so you kind of want to be fucked up for real because it feels good it feels

so good it's why so many performers you know abuse substances and it's it's a balance right you got to like balance it out but like do you drink when you when you dj do you drink yes i also actually it's funny my first show i ever got paid for i was was probably, I don't know, five years ago or so in New York City, I was playing, where did I play? Where did you, where did she play? No, the Will,

they closed down, I don't know, Webster Hall. Oh, Webster Hall. Oh shit. Sorry. Played at Webster Hall,

had no real business like playing like that size of a venue at this point. How many people was that? I don't know, it's, I was gonna say, it's a couple grand. It was a lot,

yeah. That's fucking huge and it was the electric zoo like after party kind of thing so i played that and you know so i woke up the morning went to the festival i think i like smoked a little bit of a blunt in the morning at brunch you know but i didn't drink all day at the festival because i was like you know this is a job i gotta be professional and show up sober and all that stuff so i get there early and you know all the the djs the resident DJs, they're like, Oh, you want a drink while I'm sitting in the green room? I'm like, no, no,

no. Like, you know, I'm sitting there working, like I'm all nervous. Cause I was also not used to the equipment that they had at the club. So I was like, I need to be clear headed. And as soon as I walked out on the stage, you know, I got there, I had friends playing after me, but they weren't there yet. So it was really only me in the green room and on stage and you walk out and there's like a spotlight on me. There's no one on stage with me. And it's like not like a certain clubs. You're very close to the people. And this is like a stage.

Way away. You know, they're like way down there. And as soon as I got out there, I just thought, oh, fuck. I should have had the fucking shot. Like, you know, I should have taken it. And it was like I panicked. And I literally after that show with my first transition, something like cut out with the music cut out.

And so I'm standing up there like, I mean, it just goes dead silent. I'm like, oh, my God. And the sound guy runs out of nowhere. And so I'm panicking. I'm thinking, oh, my God, I'm an idiot. Sound out later. Apparently that happens to people all the time. It was like not my fault at all.

But so, you know, the whole time I'm jumping up and down. Looks like I'm having a great time. But I had actual tears coming down my face because I was like, I'm doing terrible. Like I thought it was like the worst thing ever. I was packing up my equipment afterward and I'm texting my manager and I'm like, I never want to do this again. Like I, I'm a failure. Yeah. Like, oh my God.

I'm like, literally, I'm just like crying, like, you know, hiding. So no one can see me while I'm putting my laptop and stuff away. Just like tears coming down. And like, he was like, everyone's texting me and saying it was great. I was like, Oh, like really? But that's what I learned. Like, and I think it's like same thing with comedy is like when you have people in the crowd, when people are on that level, like, you know, when I'm playing like a college

show or something, everyone in the crowd's blacked out. So if you're completely sober, you're not really on their vibe. And as a DJ, since you're going off the crowd and like, if you're nowhere near their level. So I think it's always nice to at least just have a couple drinks like you don't necessarily have to get blacked out but just so you kind of feel what they're feeling otherwise it's like you know I'm kind of thinking like man I kind of want to like go get food and like go take a nap you know you're in your own fucking world yeah it is true you got to be kind of on their level it's like when you walk into a party and everyone's high as shit and they're all laughing about something or having fun and you're not there yet.

And like you're angry that you're not there, but also you're like bummed that you're angry that like you can't catch up. And you're also bummed that like I want to know where they're at. Like I want to feel where they are because it's annoying. You're like I'm out of the fucking circle. I try to stay. I have a drink or two on stage either before the show or during the show just because it helps me kind of maneuver what i'm going through because otherwise i pay too much attention to them and like it just gets too annoying for me to just continue to look at them

like you know what i mean like i hate fucking well it's fucking some of their fucking faces stupid fucking faces in the fucking mouth no sometimes they're just like you know people are like kind of they're absorbing it and they all have different ways. Their faces are so different. The way they absorb things, like the way they take jokes and the way they,

some people like setups more. And like when you're kind of like, when you're looking at that, it really gets into your fucking psyche. You're like, why does that guy get it more than that fucking guy? And why does that girl know

that the puns, like it's really strange. You start to kind of pick it apart. So like for me, this is, I want to know about you too like i stare off into nothing like do you ever make eye contact you stare into nothing uh i mean i usually yeah usually in the beginning of a set i literally do not look like i might look up but i'm not looking at the crowd really i'm like pretending and a lot of times even like the first couple songs i looked you don't even look up yeah you're looking at fucking what nothing yeah because i just like i'm just like looking at the decks i'm focusing on what

i'm doing until i start to get into the vibe and then i'm like now it's obviously a little different i've been doing it like for so long but i know in the beginning my manager would always be like oh the first three songs like he'd always be like sitting there like all stressed out because you know like he's like because he's like i would just be like so on edge and then once you get to the vibe but yeah it is it is weird in the beginning i think to like look at people but then especially if i am drinking and stuff it's nice to like look down there but it does you do get into your head if i see one person like on their phone or something yeah i played a festival last summer and uh fucking the worst so it was like mostly rappers on it right and so this is back in my like home

state in north carolina so i have a ton of friends that are there you know and i but they're all older you know they're and so the bar is in the back right so i'm playing in the little pump i think and little skies were going after me and so they'll pump the artist yeah and so they have a very young fan base and this is an all ages festival so you know there's a bunch of like 13 year old kids there they have no idea who i am as they shouldn't you know i mean some of them i know who you are. But, you know, so it's very weird because none of those kids are drinking, too. And I was playing a pretty, like, heavy, like, bass set.

And it was just, like, really interesting. So they're all rail riding for Lil Pump, you know? So, like, I know I have a bunch of fans and friends there, but they're all, like, way in the back. So I can see people way in the back. Like, they're all going crazy. But these 13-year-olds in the front, they don't know who I am. They don't listen to the kind of music I'm playing. So every time I would look up and I didn't get too drunk because I was like big festival, you know, so I had a drink or two, but that was it.

And I just got so nervous. Like I kept looking up and I would just see some 13 year old kid in the front, like on their phone. And I was like, oh my God, am I like terrible? Like, you know, but then he really is like, no, it's just this like two rows of people totally and then everyone else is having a good time but i was like i couldn't look at the crowd really like i'd pretend to but i would be like what you said like staring into nothing or you're like nothing yeah it's like you block out like kind of like because i was like i am gonna like literally cry and be like these kids hate

me but you know it's like you have you have to I look at nothing until I catch a few good eyes and there's something about some people have good eyes like some people have like very warm eyes or very like inviting and if I want to interact I will

but for the most part I've always said that a lot of people are like did you see us it's like no motherfucker I don't see unless I target you out and I say something to you

like and I say like you know and it's a leading question for a joke that I'll already have like otherwise I see almost nobody which is the creepiest thing.

And I had to get used to it the bigger the venues I perform. You really have to... Joe Rogan takes me out sometimes, and Joe and I will do... He does arenas. And when I do arenas with that motherfucker, I see nobody. No one, yeah. You see fuck... Even the front row is absent.

It's almost like I could see someone way up there better than i could down here just because up here is almost so clustered in an arena they just kind of don't they don't feel real i've noticed that at comedy shows that i've been to when i've been down the front i feel like i tend to notice that the you know the comedian is like looking kind of past they never really look down the front which i'm always like no i love being made fun about comedy shows it's like my favorite thing i'm always like pick on me I love being made fun about comedy shows. It's like my favorite thing. I'm always like, pick on me, pick on me. You love that shit,

huh? Yeah, it's so funny. Most people don't like it. It makes it so much more unique. I mean, like I'm already going to enjoy the show, but then when you get personally called out,

I had actually, it's funny, like back in college, like an ex-boyfriend from college took him with my parents. We went on like kind of a little double date to a comedy show. I forget who the comedian was, but she ended up calling us out. And my boyfriend at the time

was a real conservative southern boy dad is southern baptist preacher you know he's not like he's kind of uptight is he in porn now definitely not yeah and uh bible thumpers for and uh the girl like she called she called us out and was like oh she's she's like, she's like, she's making some sexual jokes and she's like, oh, sorry if I'm being too sexual, but it's not like any of you are here with your mom

and I'm like, oh, I'm here with my mom, you know? And she's like, oh, and she's like, oh,

it looks like you guys are, you're cool with the fact that your mom sucks your dad's dick and she like looks at my parents and she's like, and you're cool with the fact that she's obviously sucking his dick and like my boyfriend

was like, even my parents were like laughing, you know, they don't drink too much at all and they'd have like two glasses of wine so they're all fucking loose laughing and my fucking poor ex is just sitting there like oh he left he was like oh my god that was the worst thing that's ever happened to me like she talked about you sucking my dick in front of your parents like they don't care like they know you think they don't know that's fucking we're adults like we like are you know we're

drinking every night like we're 21 years old or something. Like they know that like we're not like celibate over here. Was that the shift for you from when you were like living back, back East in North Carolina and stuff like that? When you left, did you stop dating super conservative guys? Did you ever make that? Did you like, was that like an old thing? And you're like, I can't, these dudes are stiffs.

Yeah. I mean, I never really, it was weird actually in college. I never, you know, we were really good friends, me me and that guy i think like we were just close and it kind of turned into us dating you know it was never probably should never dated we're just close friends but yeah i did i never really connected with guys back in north carolina and i remember just like being like because i'm so loud i'd be like the loud girl at the party like standing on the bar like being crazy and you know and that was like very intimidating for guys in the south and i always be like oh my god i feel like i like can't ever meet any guys

i really get and my friend was like from new york she's like dude like when you get out of north carolina like you're gonna meet people that you connect with so much more so i didn't like really go for conservative guys it's just like that's who was kind of like around you know but sure obviously what city was it uh raleigh or i mean i'm from raleigh but i went to school at ecu in greenville so not a city it's uh basically a college in the middle of cornfields so oh shit or tobacco fields i guess more yeah yeah yeah tobacco fields baby guns guns and tobacco we call it actually uh they call it g vegas because you know think about vegas it's like the middle of the desert right and then you just have like this kind of shithole but that's like crazy so there's a huge party

school right so we call it g vegas because it's kind of a similar like nothing around it's a shitty town but like the only thing to do there is like go out and drink so there's like always parties going on so it's like a little a little shitty vegas shitty a shitty vegas when you when you do do you ever get uh like beyond drinking beyond drinking, have you ever got real fucked up when you perform? Like you ever, have you ever been on Molly when you perform? I don't tend to do like any other kind of like drugs when I like, because I'm like nervous to like, you know, but I've definitely gotten.

To fuck up the whole show because you're fucking ripped on Molly. Yeah. I would be so bad. Yeah. I used to not even, I wouldn't even smoke weed like the day of. Oh, wow. Because when I would smoke weed, it would make me kind of slow and tired. And I just want to play like funk music, you know, kind of thing.

I love funk music. It's hard to say no to. It's not really my brand. No, yeah. It's not your vibe. It's not your vibe. So yeah, I never really do too many. I'll wait till like after if I'm going to like do something like that.

But I have definitely been like extremely blacked out during a handful of shows. But usually the adrenaline, it almost acts like a drug for me where it feels like you have like an upper or something in your body. And so I've had a show down in Tampa and I had driven. I had a show the night before and the promoter had to drive me from Tallahassee to Tampa. That's far, right? It was far. And this dude like left his credit card. So I had to rent the car to drive us.

And this dude's driving insane person. And I'm like, oh my God, he's going to crash this car. And it's going to on my credit card. I'm just panicking, right? You're not worried about death. You're like, he's going to kill my fucking credit. Fuck this. I worked really hard for that.

But I get there. And I didn't have time to shower before the show because it took us so long. We left so late. I literally went to the hotel, dropped off my my stuff and went straight to the club and I was still like an hour late you know and they weren't mad at me they understood it was like beyond yeah and um you know and I so I hadn't slept I hadn't eaten and so I'm like I just have to drink because that's the only way I'm going to be able to get through this because I'm just miserable right and uh I just you know taking so many shots during my set, fine during my set, everything goes great,

and as soon as I walk out of the booth, I'm like, it just all hits me, and I literally laid down, there's like, you know, a little table next to the booth, I just lay down there, like, on the floor, and just pass out, and when I'm asleep, like, good luck fucking waking me up, so I had a bunch of friends there, you know, that had come down for the show, and so they're all like, they're like, yo, you gotta, like, get up, like, up like the club's closing like we gotta get you back to your hotel and i would just refuse i was like i'm not they put me on a like a luggage trolley to like take me up to my hotel room because like i want to get out really yeah i guess the hotel man yeah it's funny because i one of the girls that was with us like she's a she's a porn girl

right and so we're going to the hotel and i guess i just found this out the other day someone told me and i guess like the guy's like you can't do that like put this girl on a luggage cart and take her upstairs and then he's like wait like are you so and so it's like the girl that was with me and so that like so my other friends like yeah distract him so we can get her upstairs i was like oh this is nice be nice to him be nice to him yeah because he was like oh you're like this girl and she was like oh yeah so he like let us like let them do you hang out do you still hang out with a lot of porn stars or not a handful i have a i have a couple of really good friends is porn star the right word by the way i yeah i guess i mean i feel like the word

is definitely thrown around too much like either big girl who's like done like four movies and they're like oh this is girls yeah what would it be what's i don't know about the star it's like a movie star like you know you're not a movie star because you did one indie movie. What's the entry level of, what is it? Like porn? Porn actress? Satellite? Porn starlet?

Porn? Porn near star? Porn performer? Porn almost star? Yeah. She's a porn almost. How about, is there porn shooting stars? Are there girls that, like, are still performing that shouldn't be?

When you're like, you died a long time ago. You're still a girl. Why are you still doing this? Well, a lot of the girls that like they leave the business you know because they'll like they leave it and then they like need money like years later and so those are probably the girls who are popping they come back like five years later but their bodies totally changed you know kind of try to like remake it back i guess that would be a shooting star that's a porn shooting star most of my friends though that i've made the business are kind of like one of my best friends in the business like she just had a baby um last year another one just got like married so you know everyone's kind of like in it they

might still do their only fan stuff and like that but they're yeah i've moved on from the business yeah because well at some point that's i mean it's interesting like when you like you made a very smooth transition and like i followed you online like i think i got to know you online and and we don't we don't really even know each other except for like this online connected tissue which i think is so great about the fucking community because i thought you were funny and you were dope and i was like oh and no shit someone retweeted you god i want to remember who it was but someone retweeted you know i was like oh this chick is fucking funny and then i was scrolling through your stuff and i was like oh i like your like your content. You put out really good stuff.

And I'm not kidding. Then I recognized who you were. Right, right. So it's kind of weird. I was like, oh, that's so funny. That's great. That's good to know because that's like the goal. You know, I'm in no way like ashamed of that.

I'm very proud of what I accomplished in the business. I like did accomplish every single goal I had for that industry. But, you know, it's I like when people like know me first as like a person yeah and then it's like oh and you also did this that's cool but if you go in just seeing me as like you know this like ex-porn star then it kind of like changes people like well it changes your perception yeah for sure people perceptions but I mean that's but it's interesting because like that's a thing that happens in our business all the time. Right. Like I'm doing this new TV show with little Dickie who was a rapper and now he wants. I love little Dickie.

Look, he's still a rapper. But like just like you were saying, like he just doesn't want to only be identified. Like he wants to be a comedic actor. Right. And I think it's a weird duality of like. He's fucking hilarious. Yeah, he's dope. Yeah.

He just, but he wants to not scrub. He wants to rap. Yeah. But like he also wants to be like, oh yeah he just but he wants to not scrub he wants to rap yeah but like he also wants to be like oh fucking you don't want to be i'm also i also do other things but it's all it's super hard because fans see you kind of one way right like how they receive you like even for me there's certain people that like have seen me on tv do something and that's all they know me as and they'll be like i didn't even know you did stand up and for me it's like that's all i care about right. And they'll be like, I didn't even know you did stand up. And for me, it's like, that's all I care about. So it's really weird.

It doesn't matter how they find you. And I've said this, as long as they find you and you like the content, I don't fucking care. But it is hard, right? Because when I saw you, that's how I knew you.

And then I was like, oh shit, that's who that is. But to be very honest with you, I've been watching, I've been enjoying porn for whatever, you know, 25 years now or whatever.'ve never i'm admitting it i've never ever been a dude that's like i'm gonna follow that girl and yeah i've never like tried to look for the same stuff from somebody right right right so like i know friends that do and it always blew my mind when someone's like you don't know so and

so i'm like nope well you pass me anybody who passed me in the street i would fucking never know no idea well i think people you know some people are more picky about their content so you know it's like if you find a performer you really like their vibe you're gonna keep looking at those videos because you know that you like them you know but for me personally i don't watch porn really and i like the only stuff i watch is like that like hentai like animated stuff you like that shit i love it do you really yeah because it's so where it's blurred out where like the genitals are blurred and sometimes they blur it out not all the time i think the reason why i like it is because it's so it's like no real person could ever do that like you know what like they're just like monster nine foot dicks and all that it's like it's so ridiculous but that's why it's a fantasy

you know and especially like so i never really wasn't like i've always been like into erotica and like reading it discovered hentai stuff i like it it's an occasional thing for me but especially once i was in the business you know i mean the first time i ever watched porn was when i was thinking about doing it and i was like well i guess i should like watch some of this to see you know like you should check it out yeah and i was like okay i think i could do that but you know i've never really been like too into like watching it so i don't really get it but i could understand why I was like, oh, okay. I think I could do that. But, you know, I've never really been like too into like watching it. So I don't really get it. But I could understand why you're like, oh, I really like that. How this girl like performs.

Sure. It like gets me off. So I'm going to keep going back to that. Yeah. I get it. But it's the same way. I don't watch comedy. I mean, I live it every single night of my fucking life.

So when someone's like, do you ever go to the, you know, go to see a show? It's like, no, I would fucking never. This is my is my job like and also some of these people are my best friends so like it would be it's it's hard to like want to go see your friend in our work environment because you work with them 100 i think a lot of a lot of like girls that i think are some of the best like performers and born that i think are incredibly attractive and hot and like probably maybe if I was just a regular person be into their content but I can't watch their form I know them yeah and even like same thing with the guys because you know you worked with these guys a million times and it was really especially when you're in the business and like you don't want to like see because when you're doing a scene

with someone you're you know pretending that this is like a really connected moment but when you know that like he says that same thing to every other girl that it like kind of ruins it in a moment for you so it's like very weird if you're watching it and it's like i don't know so i think a lot of girls in the business some girls i know they love porn like i have a bunch of friends in porn they like always tell me like oh i love your it's like my some of my close friends they like watch my shit and it's like so weird to me because i'm like i'm like i think you're amazing but I would feel so creepy watching your video yeah

unless it was really casual unless you were like eating dinner yeah right like if you're gonna show me a scene like oh I'm really proud of this kind of thing

but I'm not gonna like sit down and be like ooh yeah like let me like so turned on by this do dudes when you said dudes have catchphrases

is there a dude that stands out that has like a common catchphrase that made you laugh cause you said that when you said it I feel like you heard a guy be like

does dudes have cause by the way that's my least favorite thing whenever i watch porn because for the most part i will dabble in that henna tie shit or whatever hen tie like sometimes but also some of those cartoons are so weird they're like it's just kind of there's like murder and they have like animals and i'm always like what the fuck it's always like too over the top for me but like i like porn that's like really simplistic and kind of probably vanilla in comparison you know what i mean like just because and I'm always like, what the fuck? It's always like two over the top for me. But like, I like porn that's like really simplistic and kind of probably vanilla in comparison. You know what I mean?

Like, just because I'm like, then it's more realistic in my fucking brain. But when guys are chatty or like talk, even when the girls like talk, when there's so much like fake talking, I'm always like, this is so weird and uncomfortable and phony. And like, it's hard for me to get into it

when the dudes talk a ton. Yeah, no. Especially if a and like it's hard for me to get into it when the dudes talk a ton yeah especially if a dude it's always funny when there's a dude who's like I think that's a lot of guys

they don't want you know it's like and that's why they have stuff that's like you know POV

where you can't even really see the guy but I don't mind a good storyline I'm cool with a storyline I just don't want it when it's like full conversation

and you're like what the fuck are there really that many great storylines yeah there's some good storylines I'll watch it at the end just for the storyline i won't i just i want to see what happens i want to know if stepdad is gonna be able to pay rent i want to

find out why is that a thing by the way why is step a thing in porn the incest stuff i don't know man it's massive it came out of nowhere so i have a whole theory about taboo and all that stuff my theory is that so i think as like humans in society you know sex is stigmatized right we're like not supposed to so like usually the first time that you got turned on or you were attracted someone it felt like wrong right so people develop these fetishes like say someone has a teacher fetish probably because like the first time they got like a boner they're sitting in their class and their teacher is wearing a little skirt and they get a boner you're 12 years old right and now you're 40 and you still love watching the teacher porn because that's what like triggers in your head so i think the same thing happens

with like the taboo where we are trained to like every time you see something it's like kind of hot like you feel kind of dirty that you feel that way. So I think as a society, we've almost like fetishized the taboo of sex, you know, and that you need it to be wrong in order to like it, because that's how we've learned to enjoy sex. And I wonder, you know, as our world becomes more open and people, you know, stop stigmatizing sex as much, I wonder if that will almost lead to like like at first maybe it'll lead to crazier porn but then i think maybe over time like will this lead back to just people wanting to see very vanilla basic stuff because you don't feel any shame about it so you don't need to feel shame when you watch your porn you know well there's something well

that's it's super interesting the psychology of it is wild like think about to me it's like some of those porn titles of the step stuff, it's just the same movie they made four years ago. They just put a new title on it, right? So that tends to be the thing that most people are like, obviously it's so see-through that you're like, this is just a porn that they retitled Step Parent or Step Brother. You know what I mean?

So what it really is saying is that it's not the physical action that's turning us on or turning us out. It's the idea that it's not the physical action that's turning us on or turning us out. It's the idea that it's not okay. That it's wrong. Yeah, that's what it really is. People think when they see that incest is a big genre. It is a big deal, by the way. It's like when people see it and they're like, oh my god, are all these people really into like –

I'm like, no, most people who are watching incest porn, they are not like – yeah, I'm sure there's a handful of them, but most people aren't like, oh man, like I just like really want to fuck my stepdaughter. And that's why I'm watching stepdaughter porn. Like that's not what it is. It's that it's wrong. And it's not that you would actually ever want to engage in incest or in real life. I mean, think about like the hentai stuff.

It's like for me, it's like the stuff that's happening in there. I'm like, it's, I wouldn't want that to happen to anyone in real life. You know? And like, that's why I like the cartoon stuff. Cause it's like so separate. Like actually I, I love tentacle. Like you do. I love the tentacle stuff. Dude.

I've, I, I watched it. I tried for the first time and I couldn't do it. There was like a little Japanese girl on a beach and it was like this monster with like nine arms and it was just fucking her with all these. You love that shit. That's so crazy. It's like the only thing I get. Like, I'm just like, I love like nine arms and it was just fucking her with all these you love that shit that's so crazy it's like the only thing i get like i'm just like i love it and so it's funny my boyfriend got me um like it's this close to bestiality by the way it's like five inches away you're like that's not real so it's like okay but uh my boyfriend actually had me uh he he got me made this like it's like a dildo that is a tentacle oh that's so wild yeah it's

actually funny because i uh i put it on my like snapchat or something i was like you know i just got this like what should i name it so we named it ron squildo that's his name and actually i have a fan who has created like a twitter for it for ron squildo yes so is it at ron squildo yeah yeah like a squire you know what i'm saying it's like and he's so funny and he's got his law degree yeah it's a really yes yeah i know right yeah he always like says he's like he's like i'm carter cruz's like attorney and stuff really funny guy like i've you know he's been following me for years like dm him and stuff like that but you know so he tweets all my friends and stuff and and everyone always thinks that it's

like me that runs the account oh shit i'm like no no no that's like a fan but that's ron squildo all my friends know him it's so funny they're all like oh because he like tweets everyone so everyone's like oh like you're dildo i'm like this is crazy that this typical dildo it's like all my friends know him like they're always like wait so how's ron like you bring him places you're like ron's here i know i need to like bring him more places i can give him like content so he can post on the Twitter 100% I was just gonna say that it's actually

now it's like if it's become a caricature you almost have to just like feed into it I know we took some pictures of it like with some like next to like whiskey glasses and stuff

so I think like Ron Skrull should be here at Whiskey Ginger with us next time he'll be the guest I actually thought about it when I was on the way here because I like brought some stuff for my shoot

afterward and I have like clothes and so I brought another bag and I was like oh should i brought ron that would have been a fun yeah don't ever question that that's the move well that's funny because uh that is funny how that stuff like takes over like not because i the people at fleshlight i used to know those people because they used to sponsor south south by southwest and they made a bunch of like tentacle stuff and a buddy of mine was like you won't believe the shit that they have on the website and he sent me a link and it was

like people fucking alien pussies and stuff now that's like the new shit that people like they don't want to do the old school shit it's got to be like the most inventive free form fantasy because i also think with nerd culture comes nerd fantasy sex culture which is i think that's where that birth from and i think more people like it than than you'd think right like i just i just don't think it's like publicized as much i don't really get like the you know as a novelty i get it you know but it's not like i don't really get like i mean i guess if you buy like the the pussy that's like the alien pussy that you're gonna you know i get if you're doing it as like a joke kind of thing but i never really understood like someone's like if they can really like create

that fantasy like you know you're just like jerking yourself off you're like yeah it's like an alien like you know what i'm saying like i don't really get how that can't what do they really like i don't like really use ron like he sits in display in our house you know it's like it's a novelty item it's like he's maybe been used like once or twice like for fun you know but it's like it's not like i'm like oh i need to bring out my tentacle dildo today you know there's a listener right now who's pissed who's like just putting down their tentacle that's like you know what carter i was a fan hey i'm not king shaming anyone whatever makes you happy as long as it's consensual and everything like you do you but i just don't get it do whatever you got to do with your tentacle fucking

well is there is that right there's alien pussy and then there's the tentacle dildos. But do they have like, like, you know how they have, they have the sex dolls now are beyond realistic. They're like fucking creepy. Do they, you think they're going to have like alien sex dolls too? Probably. Is that the future of that shit? I mean, I can only imagine.

I feel like the sky's the limit. Actually, someone hit me up recently about like wanting to potentially do something like that. Make you a sex doll? Yeah. You know, I don't know i don't i don't think i could ever get behind it because it just like there's something that creeps me out about it like i have no problem with people like seeing my naked body and everything like that but

it just weird to me i don't like the concept of someone being able to buy my body you know like like physically having the tangibleness of it is strange i went to some meetings with the company about doing you know it was like a flashlight kind of thing. Right. And I just, I couldn't get over it. I just like, I think I just feel dirty. I'm like, what about in like 10 years? Like, you know, if I don't want this anymore, but like they have the right to just like keep producing this and selling it to people. And it made me, you know, I mean, it's great money.

It's like, it's crazy. Cause I was like, oh, I fucking just turned down so much money. Like, but I was like, I don't know if this is like, I just just creeps me out something about just being able to buy your body on the internet in here we pour whiskey you remember the good old days when you were just ready to go all the time remember when you were a teenager and you were like dude I could go six or seven times right now baby and now uh you're in your late 30s and you're like, I just don't know. I don't know if I'm going to get the steam engine rolling. I don't know how I'm going to get this thing moving.

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Yeah. They love it. The old bag. She sent in her DNA to do one of those like 23andMe and all that shit. So she's like. And I told her, I'm like, you know, you're just sending away your blood to a company that has nothing to do with the federal government. They could just like own you and just make you.

Aren't there a lot of problems with the 23andMe stuff now going on? I mean a lot of them so there's Ancestry does all that shit there's the other thing is there's third parties now that are doing food allergy testing or there's all sorts of fucking things you can just submit yourself for microbiome I know I thought about doing one of those

don't do any of that shit I'm telling that to all my fans do not send in your fucking saliva or blood to anybody but a fucking a doctor who has who has a fucking degree that you know that hippa applies to yes that has fucking laws protecting like i don't understand that i told her i was like that's such a bad idea man and she didn't give a fuck what if you ever want to commit a crime i mean now like we have that's what i'm saying bitch we're on the run bitch so the fingerprint stuff always like you know i got i finally got tsa pre-check right yeah i did clear that's even worse they got your fucking they really got it in your eyes yeah my retina i didn't do clear yet

i've been but tsa has been working great for me so i've just been using that one but i really you know it has made my life so much easier and it was so worth it with traveling all the time but when i had it was the first time i've ever put my fingerprints down for anything i've never been arrested or anything and i just it made me real nervous because you know here i'm like i'm not contemplating a life of crime but you know you always hear about those people it's like there's like one little fingerprint but they're not in the system and then years later they like it bings up on like i just don't like the idea of like the government like having my fingerprint where they could just like know where i was like at all times like it's just creepy well it's even creepier they got it when you were a baby they fucked you up when you were

a baby man they got your fingerprints and your footprints when you were a baby you're so right yeah they fucked you up from the jump they're so shady the government's so fucked that's why like with tsa when somebody's like why would you give them that i'm a hypocrite because i called her out but also tsa i like, come get me that. You know what I mean? Like, also, I have been arrested, unfortunately, for some dumb shit when I was young. So it's kind of like, just dumb dude shit, like fighting. I got arrested for, well, it's not really arrest.

Detained. It's a fiery ginger. Yeah. Asshole, young punk kid. I was a young punk fucked up kid. Well, it's not really arrest. Detain. So the fiery ginger stereotype is true. Yeah, asshole, young punk kid. I was just a young punk fucked up kid. I just wanted to... But also like breaking and entering was one. But it wasn't...

It was a... No, no, no. It was... No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no. I just... No B&E. I rubbed it and tied up a whole family.

It wasn't that big of a deal. No, we broke into some guy's garage. We were young teenagers. We stole shit. We were fucking punks. Like we... That was... It was just being punk kids. It wasn't even that big of a deal no we broke into some guy's garage we were young teenage we stole shit we were fucking punks like we that was it was just being punk kids it wasn't even that big of a deal but um we didn't get arrested we got detained right for going call your parents yeah to going into somebody's private property is all it really was but it was just you know but yeah no fighting in college i got arrested for that i got arrested for urinating in public twice i'm such a fucking

dipshit i got caught twice my buddy had a bar right they had a bar down by my i went to arizona state which is just a nonsense school and we knew the guy that had the bar and i was drinking and smoking a cigarette out back and peeing because the bathroom was full it was slammed it was packed so i just went out back was pissing and smoking and having a drink and a cop was like yeah do you want to finish the cigarette and the beer or just one of the two and i turned and as i'm pissing i'm like oh fuck like he's just and he goes go ahead i'll wait so i he let me finish pissing i got in trouble yeah well because he was gonna take me in either way he was like you're gone you know but i mean he could have like you know been like oh put it away now and then you're like only got half the pee out now you're

uncomfortable in the ride yeah that's actually probably what he's thinking is like if this guy's like drunk i probably should like not put him in my car if he still has pee in it totally i did kind of want to be a smart ass and just turn around with my dick out like i for a second i was like should i just turn around and be like all right cuff me with my cock still out just because like you know i'm no i know i'm going away but yeah just i got arrested for small stuff as a kid like we just did fucked up dumb shit never anything big. But you're right. They got me.

Now that they got me, they fucking got me. I feel like I've never gotten arrested at all, which is knock on wood. Nothing crazy. And I think I just have this six. Let's get you arrested today. Let's do some dumb shit today. I'm ready. I've got a neighbor here I don't like.

I mean, we started drinking at 2 p.m. So, you know, anything's possible. You want to go B&E with me on my neighbor that I don't like? Let's go fuck this dude up. He's so annoying. I've never, like, yeah, I have kind of, like, a sixth sense about these things. Like, whenever, especially in college, like, you know, I mean, I had a fake ID. I'm out every night drinking, and I just always.

But you're a good-looking girl. Side note, like, if you were ugly, you're not getting into anything. Let's be real. Like, dudes don't get into shit, and ugly girls don not getting into anything let's be real like like dudes don't get into shit and ugly girls don't get into shit i will say at my college it was like pretty much they didn't give a shit like you i mean everyone on face well because it's a small town right yeah i mean like and they just want as many people in there as possible and as long as you have an id then they can it's plausible deniability to them where they're like like my id was real you know someone else is the girl looked like me i mean how would they know yeah exactly so like they really didn't give you

like a hard time about it because like they're not gonna get in trouble as long as you have something but i just so many times like drinking tickets where everyone i went to college with had like so many drinking tickets what are they what was that well like how like we i don't know anyone ever got one of those what would that be be? How much? It's like 500 bucks. What? It was a crazy scam that I think was going on in my college, right? So basically, it's a poor town. There's nothing there except for the university.

A lot of kids from out of state. So their parents are already paying good money. Of course, tons of money. So I think basically they would focus so much on getting people alcohol tickets. And then you basically go get a lawyer. You pay the lawyer. Then they're like, you know giving people alcohol tickets and then you basically you go get a lawyer you pay the lawyer then they're like you know what just pay a 500 dollar fine and then we'll take off your record people's parents pay it of course they were just raking in money like that it was like a money making scheme it was really fucked up and uh but

i just always knew i would always just be like i should leave and i would leave and then all my friends would get drinking tickets like yeah i just it was the foresight so i worked downtown at this bar in college and like i mean i would be i was under 21 and i would go to work just blacked out you know i was i was a beer girl and it was great i would just dance on the bar when i would make so much fucking money like you know and i was just like in tips and shit like dancing on the bar like just getting people to like come over and like buy beer like even if the bar didn't have a good night like i had a good night yeah you're like we made a thousand bucks you're like i made five grand yeah so it was it was good but uh so this guy who was like in charge of like all the alcohol cops right you know like everyone was like scared of him you

know and uh he me and my best friend both worked there she was a year younger than me but i was about two weeks away from my 21st birthday right and he came into my work and like i wasn't working that night and he like pulled my boss aside and was like hey like i know like these two girls that work for you are not 21 and i know that they're like always drinking here and they're like partying and we were very well known like you know in the bar scene right so he's like i know about them and like you tell them like i'm i'm i'm watching for them right like he like wanted to give us yeah he was he was begging to catch yeah so i'm like he told my boss tells me this and i'm like oh my god i'm two weeks away from being 21 i cannot risk this right so i'm like

you know what i'm just not gonna go out to my 21st birthday that lasted about three days i was just gonna say i stopped taking out my fake id because i knew that was like a bigger charge i'd rather get an underage drinking ticket than a fake id ticket. So I wouldn't. So I would have two X's on my hands, double fisting beers. And I never saw the guy. Right. I mean, it was just pure luck. And then on my 21st birthday, I was out and saw I saw the dude and I'm just like, hey, hey, like dancing on the bar, you know, just being crazy. And he just like shook his head like he knew i was like crazy i just avoided that but you shady little bitch i got away with you just had good foresight with cops that's some people have that my buddy colin in college we called him hawkeye

bad thumbs that's what we said that was like his native american name because he had unbelievable vision also terrible thumbs for some reason that was just a part of it but like he had we called him hawkeye because this motherfucker i'm not kidding we'd be smoking a joint you know like out somewhere and um in phoenix back then it was still a big fucking deal like we you'd go to fucking jail for like i knew dudes that went to fucking um day jail you know where they put you out in tents in the desert do you ever know about this you ever hear about this there was this piece of shit guy yeah this piece of shit sheriff named show up joe arpaio yo this is crazy so he would if you got a dui if you got caught with pot whatever you you'd go have to sleep in the desert in a tent during the middle of the fucking day and he would make all the guys wear pink

jumpsuits as like a degrading thing whatever hardcore yeah dude and he got voted in a fuck load this dude was in phoenix for a long time that's wild yeah sheriff joe arpaio they need like a 60 minutes on that or something they did i'm sure they did that dude was a piece of shit but but he got supported from a lot of the hardcore conservative community was like yeah teach him a lesson you know like the biggest beef that we had was like um in arizona state tempe is a is like a big town it's like a small town big town because of the college. But people would complain all the time because it was all house parties, right?

No one had, apartments weren't really a thing back then. Like you lived in a house with five dudes or whatever, you know? And people would call the cops constantly. And it was always like, bro, this is a college town. Yeah, why do you live here? This school's been here for a hundred fucking years. It didn't just pop up so we would always get in trouble but my boy colin we would be smoking a joint and i swear to god

we'd we would all be on the same level of fucked upness and he'd be like there's a cop like a mile down the road and we'd be like what none of them like no way dude he could call it out we'd be like no way and he would know when to bolt he had that kind of like spidey sense yeah you had that shit huh yeah no it's it's it served me well i crossed my fingers i mean i guess at this point you know they're here right now by the way you guys are fucked i know i've always just and every time like something has happened with the cops i've just happened to be sober which is crazy because it's like rare you know or like right or at least not gonna blow anything i was came back to raleigh for a – I was down in college.

We drove two hours to come back to Zedd's Dead show, I think, you know, like rave kind of thing. Hardcore rave. It was a bunch of kids I didn't really know. They were kind of like my rave friends. So, like, I didn't hang out with them day to day. And they all had – like, we were smoking weed on the way to the show and stuff. But, like, I hadn't had anything to drink, but I had an ecstasy pill. I had it in my hand.

I was going to take it it we got to the show but so we as soon as we pull into this parking lot across the street from the venue there's just six cops sitting there and our windows are open and weed smoke's coming out so they immediately like we're like fuck so the girls that are in the back like this girl i didn't know they had shrooms she tosses me a bag and she's like hide this i'm like bitch i didn't know you had this i say bitch i'm me a bag and she's like, hide this. I'm like, bitch, I didn't know you had this. I say, bitch, I'm still friends with her. I love her to death. And I was like, what the fuck?

So I just shoved it in like the seat pocket in front of me. But I was like, bro, like those aren't mine. I didn't even know they were in the car. Like I'm not getting in trouble for this, you know? So of course they have us all get out of the car. You know, the kid who's driving, he wasn't drinking, but he was smoking weed. So, you know, everyone's like, he gets in trouble. They find the shrooms. They search the whole car. My friend't drinking, but he was smoking weed. So, you know, everyone's like, he gets in trouble. They find the shrooms.

They search the whole car. My friend has to, she gets arrested. And so I'm basically the only person who didn't have, didn't blow something and didn't have like any drugs on me. Right. Because as soon as the cops, as soon as they saw him, I put that pill underneath my tongue. Right. So I'm not trying to swallow it because I don't know how this night's going to go.

Right. So I'm just holding it and they're having us all sit on the sidewalk, you know, and they're one by one kind of pulling us up and everyone else is getting in trouble. And like, so I was like the one that wasn't in trouble. So I think they like, they're like, oh, let's put the squeeze on this. Like everyone else is like tatted up. Looks and I'm like this little like blonde chick, like a little sorority girl. We're going to fuck up this little cutesy clean girl.

Yeah, they're like, oh, she's scared. So like, and I saw them like check someone's mouth. So as soon as they pulled me up to question me, I was like, fuck it. I just like swallowed the pill. so swallow the pill they questioned me they're like hey just got you got to tell us whose drugs these are and i'm like dude i like swear to god i had no idea they were in the car like i you know i had no idea so they you know there's nothing they can do so they arrest my friend and then we got to go fucking bail her out and like so we got to go bail her out and we're in the police station it starts raining we gotta

go to the bail bondsman right i've never done anything like this such a nightmare it's such a nightmare and then we get to the police station and the fucking ecstasy starts kicking in and i'm just walking in circles around the precinct just like just walking walking like i was like can i touch your nightstick can i just grab stuff can i just start touching everything in here? But I was like, it was fine. I didn't get any trouble, but it was definitely not a fun night. It's hard to be around authorities when you're rolling really hard or you're fucked up and you're like, God, I'm just trying to be normal. You know, you're not being normal.

Yeah. You know, well, my pupils too. It's like been a joke since I was like a kid. Like even when I was like 12. You got full moons? Yeah. Yeah. Huge pupils.

Oh man, that's so fun. And so everyone would always be like, oh, like you do tons of drugs. Like even when I was like, you you know never done anything like that so i know that if i do do anything it's like my eyes are like black yeah i've seen people like that like i have friends where i'm like oh shit dude your eyes used to be blue you know what i mean they're fucking they're these huge full moons it's always funny because for me like when i get high like when i smoke weed i don't get red eye you know like most people got red eye and i never got it when i was a kid i don't get that either so when i would go home and try to sneak back home it was never like uh my mom's gonna catch me by like looking at me

for me my mom was keen because she fucking knew what she dabbled so she would be like you're acting funny and i'm like not acting funny and she's like yeah you are like she oh you know what i mean she always knew it was never like the look but i i've told the story before like i came home ripped on mushrooms one time. And my God, dude, I can't believe my mother didn't know. Because we had just gone to a concert and I had gone deaf. You know what I mean? You know when you got the ringing?

And I really was. I couldn't hear shit. And we got home and I was still ripped on mushrooms. And my mom was like, what's your deal? And I was in by the front of the garage just taking off my shoes. I was like, I'm not trying to track dirt in here. I was at the concert. I can't hear like my life.

And she's like, track dirt in here? It's like, what are you talking about? I was trying to think of a million ways. It's like the first time I ever did mushrooms. I was leaving my buddy's house and I said to my buddy's mom, I go, garbage smells. And she was like, what? I thought I was like, okay, say something about the atmosphere that makes it seem normal it was just

when you're real fucked up you know you said the wrong thing do you know what I mean you're like I did whatever it was I fucked up so I was like

might as well just when I get if I'm too fucked up around people you know like now if I'm too drunk or if I'm a little too high I just don't say a word yeah keep your mouth shut

just don't say shit in high school I just like came home my parents were watching a movie, and I had smoked weed. During high school, we went to a football game, and we had been smoking and drinking since 5 p.m. And this is, I'm 16 years old, so obviously I know. This was back when I would pretty much throw up every time I drank.

You would? Every single time? I was a mess in high school. Would you make yourself throw up? No. I get sick really like i'm not a person like i'll never like i don't usually like black out like i usually like i'll be sick and pass out before like i can do anything too stupid that's pretty good yeah

but before i knew how to handle myself i would just get sick all the time i have like a really like my stomach just gets sick really easily you got a sensitive tummy very sensitive so i get home and you know i think it's like 2 a.m right but it's like 11 so my parents are still awake they're watching a movie on the couch and i had to walk our front door like they're right there and i mean i had thrown up in the car like on the way home like you know i was already like i'd been laying on the deck like i was like having an out-of-body experience like i was like floating above myself like watching myself on the ground and people were like are you okay and I was like really messed up guys smoked me like that cross bus oh the cross so I walk into my house my parents are

there I'm like surprised as fuck to see them right I'm drunk as fuck I'm like our stairs to go upstairs are right there so I walk in I'm like I puke on me and shit my parents like oh like hey like how was your night like and i'm like oh like uh just this drunk girl like threw up all over me so i think i'm just gonna go take a shower and like go to bed right in the floor in front of both of them and they were like my dad had to like carry me upstairs i woke up at like 5 a.m and i was like oh my god i like crawled in my parents bed i was like i'm so sorry they're like it's okay i just like don't do it see of course it's okay because you're a girl right boys we get the fight that's it that's it that's the end of my life you know what i mean that's like if a dude's like you son of a bitch you fucking asshole we

trusted you once you know that's what happens fucking dudes get the like my little sister could probably get away with fucking murder but it's like we i just it's just it's just dudes are gonna get the brunt of it because they know we were up to no good. And the difference is with a girl sometimes, at least from a parent's perspective, they're like, she had a little bit too much fun. With a boy, they're like, I bet you he was being bad on purpose. I bet he did dumb shit because he knew we could get away with it and then we caught him. Yeah, I had so many of those instances where I tried to sneak around my parents. But it's so funny as you grow older, right? Like, you know,

I'm 36 and like, now you look back and you're like, oh, they, they did all the same fucked up shit we did. It's just, you know, they had to be the, the,

the, the waving finger with all that stuff. Yeah. But, but that's like going back to what you talked about, like with your dad and stuff talking about you getting into fucking porn. It's like, just want you to be safe

and be happy and feel good because our parents did fucked up shit too whether or not we'll admit it or they'll admit it it's like everybody gets too fucked up everyone makes life choices that that is what they think they want at the time whether it's it's something they really want or something they're just doing for now and it's like that's why parents i think that the lesson for me of that is like i gotta be careful what i do when i have little kids because i fucked up a lot like i did a lot of different shit that some of it i'm happy with some of it i'm not but like you know you you have to fucking swing the bat it's cool to have supportive parents you know i mean like my parents were like go do it have fun never did anything crazy ever never my dad i think has been drunk once when he was like

six he got into really my dad's drunk right now i guarantee it i guarantee he's fucked up sorry no you're good um i don't want to like cough right into the mic it's like gross yeah thank you um blow everyone's ears out oops but um yeah my uh yeah my dad like when he was like six years old like got into his like mom's like alcohol cabinet like didn't, when he was six years old, got into his mom's alcohol cabinet, didn't know what he was drinking. Oh, shit. Got obliterated, of course. And that was the one time.

I think my mom got drunk once in college. They're not big drinkers. So my parents were- They don't fuck up at all, huh? They met each other in high school. They were into some weird shit then. You just don't know. Yeah, right?

They knock each other out when they have sex. Your dad just fucking choking your mom out, beating the shit out of her. I mean, they've been together for a long time, and they're very loving towards each other. I'm pretty sure they have a fire sex life. You think so, huh? Yeah. That's always my biggest worry when I get older. We don't talk about it, but, you know.

You don't talk about it when you're fucking with her? I'm worried about that myself. I always think about that. I wonder what it's going to be like for older couples, because they always say, as you grow with someone, the sexuality itself changes. Your sexual nature changes. Having sex with your significant other

might not be physical penetration. It could be just rubbing each other on the couch, watching a movie. You know what I mean? Sex changes over time. Oh, definitely. I always wonder about that, what that's going to be like for the future of sex

between couples, of me specifically. I'm curious because i'm always like man i wonder if my fucking parents even have sex anymore or if it's even a thing or but then i think you can still have intimacy and and that gratification without totally necessarily like i was actually just having this conversation with my girlfriends the other night because talking about like how sex for me has changed a lot i think like you know back when i was in high school and college it was so much of uh an adrenaline rush it was all about you wanted to try things and it was two reasons you're having sex one because it's an ego boost right like you're like somebody wants to fuck me right exactly and you're like it makes you feel good it makes you feel sexy and like loved and everything like that and then two was like

you know that adrenaline rush of like it's something new and exciting and then now especially it's like after having done porn and stuff for me now sex is so much more about the intimacy and like getting off you know like i don't you know yeah every once in a while you might want to do like some crazy stuff because it's like fun but you know now it's like okay like i just want to get off and like i want to like spend time with this person right not so much of like i need this like crazy experience you know and it's it's they're both good you know there's nothing wrong with either one of them but I've noticed and when I first started switching to that kind of concept of it it was I was like am I am I becoming lame like you know I'm like you know I'm here we need to get something physical going yeah and I'm like no I think I just like but I see sex differently

now now it's like more about you know the pleasure and the intimacy and less about that the wild whatever whatever the perception of like the public that thinks that you're supposed to do the weirdest shit the most positions i think yeah i think that's publicly induced that's socially it's a lot of work i mean you know it's a nightmare you know sometimes like you know think about like you like shower sex or something like i'll tell my boyfriend like oh when i want to come in the shower with me and he's like i mean we could or do you just want to shower and then i'll shower and then we'll just like fuck in the bed i'm like yeah you're right like it's actually better like way better we could do it in the shower but i think i'd enjoy it more in the bed to be honest way more it's such a nightmare in the chat i'm talking about that shower sex is so fucking

why am i doing that's where i go to get clean to relax like if i to focus on fucking, I don't want to think about like the water and slipping and position. It's like. When you said your wife's always cold, right? So like, I think. Bitch is always, this bitch is always cold. And when you're out of the, when you're in the shower and you're wet and then you get like pushed out of the water and like, no, no, I need to be in the water.

Yeah. Freezing. And it makes it a nightmare. Shower sex is not fun. I don't know why people think it's fun. It's not fucking as fun as you think it's going to in your mind look outdoor shower sex on like an island somewhere dope as fun right right different story right different story but in your house where you usually shower you're like this is not that fun hotel shower sex like all that stuff is right out

of your element it's fun but your own house no it's fucking stupid she lost my virginity in the shower you did i did fuck that how old were you 16 yeah i'm 15 or no 16 i was 16 as well i was listening to one of your podcasts this morning i think you said that you had sex twice and then you didn't have sex again until you're 32 didn't have sex until yesterday no i'm kidding i'm fucking around i'm kidding no no no no no i was fucking around okay i was like was he being serious i wanted to ask you about it i was like i had to ask him that today when i got there i had i had i lost my virginity at 16 and the condom broke right nightmare total fucking nightmare but yeah no we we kept trying we tried all sorts of high school stuff i was like damn that's like really like stuck with

you no it didn't fuck you up that much no but um but 16 16 was shower for you that was the first time that's fucking wild. Yeah, I ended up dating the guy. Did you hate it? No, I mean, I was so ready to have sex. I feel like I was always a very sexual person, but I didn't want to just, you know, you're in high school. Most of the guys, I wasn't interested in them.

I didn't want to have just dumb sex with some guy that then I'm going to have to go to class with and I don't even like him. It didn't need to be the love of my life, but I wanted it to be with someone that I did care about and that it was like a safe environment so as soon as I like met like it was like the first guy I did we dated for four years like through high school and into college and you know I was just like immediately it was funny because he was another guy who's real nice southern boy yuppie and you know we've been

dating like you know a month and I'm like hey like just letting you know I'm like ready to have sex because I'd been ready for a while just waiting for the person that i was gonna do it with and it like freaked him out because you know he was like oh you know he was trying to be like the good guy you know and i was the one like oh like let's do it pump me you fucking idiot hurry up you dummy what are you waiting for but it was very i was like very excited and like you know i was you know so it wasn't i was ready to yeah you were ready so yeah i was good let me ask you this this is and i and i'll uh we don't have to talk about it but i'm the interesting thing to me about porn is every time i see it i always think um i wonder

if either of them are hating every second of this like do you ever have moments where you're like where you were shooting and you're like i fucking i don't want this is a misery i don't want to be here 100 and i think that there's it's what i think a lot of times mostly would be with girls because uh anytime you did a girl scene well not any i mean just like the guys you tend to work with the same guys over and over again right you know them they're your friends i know their families it's very comfortable you know with girls you're going to be shooting especially once i was kind of out of the business a little bit but i was still shooting girl girl for a while right and um it. And it was just very, you know, a lot of these girls, they're new, so they want to shoot them. But these girls don't actually like girls.

And like, I mean, I've had days where like, you know, I felt so uncomfortable because I can just tell that the girl does not want to be there at all. You know, and I feel. So it's uncomfortable because you, but are you comfortable with them? Yeah, I'm comfortable. You know they're not. Yeah. And I've like, it's been like real weird. Like I worked with this girl you know they're not yeah and i've like it's been like real weird like i worked with this girl she like did not make a sound for like it was just and i'm

horrified because i'm just like i felt like i should be like like i kept asking her like are you okay like it's like you know you sound like a guy yeah right yeah exactly you really do have to be like that and it really like so it does happen but i would say it's generally with like a girl who's new in the business and she's like probably doesn't actually like, so it does happen, but I would say it's generally with like a girl who's new in the business and she's like probably doesn't actually like girls and it's like very out of her element and you can feel her uncomfortability, but you like have to do the scene, you know? And that's so, it does happen, but I wouldn't say, you know, it's a small percentage of

the time. Never with a dude that you're like, oh, you ever like roll your eyes or you're like, oh my God, hurry up. There's some people that I didn't like and then I would never work with them again. You know? So you might have this and you're like, oh, this person hurry up. There's some people that I didn't like and then I would never work with them again. You know, so you might have a scene like, oh, this person's fucking annoying. Because their energy is bullshit? Is that what it is? Yeah, or they just sometimes, I'm very like, especially once you've been, I think you start

to be a little bit more like, you can't do this to me. Like, you know, like guys will get like a little bit too like aggressive kind of thing. And in the beginning, like new girls will let guys get away with anything. I was just going to say, probably like whatever, this is what it is. Yeah, because you don't know what's going on. And then now you're like, no, I don't like that. Like, don't fucking do that. You know, I'm like, probably like whatever, this is what it is. Yeah, because you don't know what's going on and then now you're like, no, I don't like that. Like don't fucking do that.

You know, I'm like, I'll fucking, you know. Do you lay out the rules beforehand? Yeah, usually. Yeah. Especially when you work for someone like Kink, they do like BDSM stuff.

Like that's always like you have a whole paperwork you go through with like what you're willing to do. They have all the guys read over it, sign it. You have a whole discussion with the director

and they're constantly checking in with you. You know, with vanilla scenes less because you're kind of just doing the same stuff but when you're doing anything outside the norm they tend to really like be asking you like are you good it's okay constantly you know it's actually so sometimes it's funny like the crazier porn scenes are sometimes some of the more comfortable enjoyable ones because they are so worried about your well-being. It's regulated. Right, and they don't want you to go out of there and be like,

I did something I didn't want to do. So they're constantly checking in with you and it's okay if you want to stop. And so it's actually sometimes the more vanilla stuff, those are the directors that they do the same thing every day and they have less empathy for you. So if you're in pain or something like that, they're kind of more dicks about it. So when you see the crazy stuff where the girl is every day and they have less empathy for you. So if you're in pain or something like that, they're like kind of more dicks about it. So when you see the crazy stuff

where the girl's tied up and being whipped, that girl's probably getting treated better. That's incredible. Yeah, it's really interesting. I would love to see one of those porn checklists. If you could ever get your hands on one of those, send those out. I want to see like the checklists

of what you're chill with. You can change it to- It's like candle on your tits, candle on your puss. Like I want to see like the check down of what you're cool with and not cool with. When you can change it to a candle on your tits candle on your puss like i want to see like the check down of what's what you're cool with and not cool with when you can change it to based on the day of like maybe sometimes you're tired and so you're not in the mood to like push yourself and you're like you know like like for me it's like i have like nipple piercings so i was very like certain days i'm like i don't want anything like really touching

them i'm like don't fuck with them and the other day what do they want to tie shit to them oh yeah fuck that looks like it hurts so bad and then some days i'd be like it's okay and then other days i'd be like i'm not in the mood you know like we're not going to do that so it's you know it i don't know it's kind of it's a given it's a given it's a take it changes day to day i want to see one of those sheets you got to let me know because i was always curious about that i'm like i wonder if they're just like you know all that's my friend who like directs they're like so i was so that's then that's the thing that we learned about all that shit is that the girls that are getting uh the most fucked up shit done to them usually are having the most balance in the day yeah that's why and those companies too they

try to find girls that really are into that stuff they don't want you there if that's not something you're into you know so those are the girls like they want to be there that's fun you know and and at the time those things are less about the sex and more about like the crazy things. Like you're getting like, like I got like mummified once. What? Crazy. Right.

Like wrapped all the way up. Yeah. Like, so I mean like, I'm not even, you can't even see my body. They leave nothing open? No. My nose. What? That's fucked.

Yeah. Did you like that? Actually, I really did because it was like, um, I don't know. I like, like, it felt like you're being hugged. Yeah. Like for my dog. What are those called? Those like those anxiety coats, those thunder jackets.

Yeah. Like a weighted blanket. Right. Exactly. It was like that. And so I was like, all right. And I don't know. They just kind of like, you know, they're doing like kind of stuff to you.

But like, you know, you're not it's nothing like directly on you. Yeah. So, I mean, there's like vibrators like they like did some like electricity kind of stuff but it was just like it was i did kind of start panicking a little bit though just because you don't you can't really say your safe word and just because since only my nose was out i kind of like and but that was what made it kind of exciting too because on one hand i was kind of panicking because i was like oh my god like i can't move i can't really speak you know and you kind of feel like you're suffocating like you can't breathe you're giving me anxiety you can

you know that's giving me so much anxiety i know that's like my nightmare to be like like someone's putting something in my ass i'm like it's really cool i saw some girl the other day she's like an artist she does these like there's like these vacuum sealed bags i've never tried it oh that shit's insane that shit's wild man flowers it's like she like does it puts flowers on people and then like sucks them into the bag and it's like a little art piece but then like but you're in a fucking vacuum bag that that gives me so much anxiety dude i don't want to be in a closet by myself like i just i if i'm not claustrophobic but i just don't like the idea of like someone else having control over my confinement you know what i mean like me fine i don't care but like someone else like what's your what was the safe

do you have a safe word what was the safe word I think there I think I think you just say red I think did you ever have one that you ever used during scenes where you like my safe word is blank usually they like just they have like at those scenes where you would need one they like they have like uh and they get you on camera before saying like i know what my safe words are i think it's like i think it was like you just say red is like you know i think you can say is this racist towards redheads is that what this is about is that what the fuck this is about i think it was right i can't remember the exact word but the first one's like you say mercy and that's kind of like i don't need to stop the scene but like take down what you're doing a little bit you know kind of like of like maybe, like maybe they're going too hard on something.

Mercy is a pretty heavy word to use. Yeah, right. But it sounds sexy too. And then if you say red though, it's like they cut the cameras immediately. Like, what do you need?

Like, you know, like more colorism, more colorism. They don't like red. That's what it is. People fucking don't like redheads. It must be really hard being,

you know, there's no redheads in porn. A white man with red hair. It is. By the way, it is. It is. Is there any redheads in porn? Do you know any of us no actually no i was actually thinking i was like i don't think it doesn't exist i don't know if i've ever i don't know if i've ever

never even hooked up with a redheaded girls maybe yeah different story yeah america loves redheaded women but they don't like redheaded men and i get it most 99 of redheaded men are fucking repulsive i'm dead serious like uh like most redheaded people that i see you're the rare exception i'm not saying i'm brad pitt but i'm better looking than fucking most redheaded dudes am i am i be honest yeah fucking please i see some redheaded guys i go i'm lucky i just i'm lucky that i didn't turn out that way no there's no redheaded males in porn i've never really checked but every time i've ever seen one i'm like this is never this isn't it's just not a thing because there's like less red heads like in the world yeah we don't exist you know we so it's like you know you i mean think

about you might meet like one or two and they're like oh like those they're not attractive so you assume all redheads aren't attractive but you only really know two but think about thanks think about on blondes i mean for blondes like there's a million unattractive blondes but you don't but there's also a lot of attractive ones right so you kind of, you know, but I think like redheads, I mean, I only ever know a handful of redheads at any given time. So I think you just get like, we get stigmatized. Yeah. It's fucking bogus.

Let me tell you something. But if they ever do want a redheaded male in porn, um, you let me know because, uh, I could always do a micro penis scene or something like that. How would your wife feel about that? Um,

I don't know dude we'll have to ask the old bag no i don't you know what's so funny i could never i could never do i'd be so scared to do porn i would be so scared to show my penis on camera because i have such a normal penis you know what i mean like it's such a regular good old-fashioned penis sometimes people like that though because they look at it and they're like oh it's like not small it's not big it's like a guy a guy looks at it and they're like oh it's like me like this is kind of like because if they're watching a scene and the guy is like a 13 inch dick it's like well i could never fuck the girl like it's annoying but when you see it's like a regular size dick you're like oh i

could i could do that i do see that sometimes when i see porn i go that might look just like that guy's dick like it makes me feel good yeah when i see when i see like dog fart or one of these big black dudes who has like i'm like that's this is this is this is your tentacle dildo when they do the reason why too that people don't understand a lot of times why they want the bigger dicks and porn is for angles so it's like usually it's not you're not it's not it's not they're not using the whole thing right it's so that they can open up and you can still see it sure whereas if you have a normal size dick mine goes all the way up in there yeah exactly it goes all the way it's not like so i

think people and i always tell guys this all the time you know it's it actually this is a funny thing because girls in porn especially and just girls in general yes there are girls who are size queens and there's girls who like i only like big dicks but i will say i'm in this facebook group with like 20 000 women in la right there's tons of like these are girls who are insta models supermodels like you know people all that probably all over the world like guys want to fuck these chicks and we're in this facebook group and this girl posts and says you know i've been dating this guy and like i'm obsessed with him like but like he has a micro penis and she's like i'm not like grossed out by it or anything but i just

i don't how do we have sex? Like, you know, kind of like doesn't even have any kind of input on this. And I'm telling you this thread blew up with girls, like the hottest girls in LA, right? Being, oh, the best sex I ever had was with my ex who had a micro penis. Like I love small dicks. And like a lot of my friends in porn, like they're all just like, oh, like, you know, they're like, yeah, I do the big dick thing on camera, but they're like, oh, I just like, I love a small dick. It's so funny.

It's like- We're going to be okay, guys. Yeah, so guys, just letting you know, if you're worried about your penis size, you're probably fucking fine. Well, I don't have a micro penis. I have a regular penis. I have a fucking- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I have an Accord. I have a Honda Accord, okay? It's a regular, good old-fashioned penis. No, but have you seen a micro penis? I always feel like it's a regular good old-fashioned penis no but i did but have you seen a micro penis that's i always feel like that's a false thing like i think it's a medical condition that happens one that was like about like this big hard this is hard it never got fully hard but it was like so that is a micro penis yeah i mean i don't know what a micro penis really is but it was like i feel like that would be a micro penis i mean it definitely wasn't doing

any penetration so damn that's wild. Yeah, I know. I felt bad for the dude, too, because he was like this really tall, big guy. And he probably looks like girls. Probably look at this guy like, oh, but he has a big dick. Nope. No, like I said, once you see enough of your friend's guy's dicks, and you're just like, oh, I have a cool, normal dick.

It makes you feel so much better. When you're young, you're like, what if I have my old bag? Fucking, you're like what if i my old bag fucking she i'm not gonna well she did she did she did know a guy once who had a micro penis and she said he was a very nice guy well she never dated they never dated or anything they never hooked up she was like it kind of came down to like a hookup moment and she uh she bailed politely she politely bowed out out. She was like, I'm not ready to have sex. Well, I think it's a lot of times the guys that if you have a massive dick, you think, oh, I'm blessed. I did all the work. Yeah.

I already have it. All I got to do is just shove this in a girl and it's fine. Whereas a guy who knows he has a tiny dick, he's like, I got to make this really good for her. Those are the guys who are going to be really good at going down on girls. And they're very generous lovers. And so I think a lot of times girls don't get that from guys. And so that's why when they date a guy that has a smaller dick. And also, it's so much more pleasant to give oral sex to a guy who has an average or smaller penis.

Do you really want to shove a 13-inch dick down your throat? Absolutely not. No. Not after what happened to me in high school. No. Oh. No, I'm kidding. No, but I get it.

Obviously that makes more sense. So listen up for average and small size penis men. You're in good shape. Girls want to fuck you. Yes. Just, you know, don't. There's going to be the rare one chick who's like, no, I need like a foot long or nothing else.

A foot is way too, that's an absurd amount of penis. It's insane. I mean, I can't imagine me just like, I can imagine for like a foot long or nothing else like a foot is way too that's an absurd amount of penis it's insane i mean i can't imagine me just like i can imagine for like a one-time hookup i'm like imagine dating someone like that i'd be like exhausted like you know like it was like oh you've had to have scenes with guys who have 13 inch dicks oh i mean i didn't measure any of them but they're definitely some big ones that's absurd i don't fuck that yeah i'm not really into it i'm i like i like a i like a good just like you know not small but if i solid a nice dick yeah if i have to audibly pretty it's even better if i have to audibly go get real when i watch porn then it's too much like sometimes i see it and i go give me a

fucking break like this is absurd this sometimes it looks fake that i'm like that guy's dick is not real and even if it was bummer because it's weird at some point. Like at some point, like you pull it out and you're like, well, that's not even fucking, is that a dick or your arm? It's unfortunate. Well, guys with small dicks, you're in good shape. Be okay with it. You're on tour right now.

So if we're going to plug dates in our description below, if you want to come see Carter on tour, where are you at in February? Do you know where you are? I'm actually chilling right now. I'm having like a little time off. Next week I'll be in Vegas, but this probably won't be. Yeah, it won't be.

This will be already missed. You've already been in Vegas. Yeah, so let me like, I'll like get back to you. Yeah, no, it's fine. But I'll post all that shit, but cartercruise.com. Yeah, cartercruise.com,

cruisecult.com. They go to the same place. Cruise, like cruise ship, Carter with a c like jimmy carter the president i don't know her favorite your favorite president jimmy carter everyone's like oh do you like love jimmy carter i'm like no just like it's easy to remember two carters i know are jimmy carter and carter the carter little way like that's like so i say one of the two yeah it makes sense to me carter we always assume it's like with a K or something

because we're like I don't know because porn always does like manipulate the names yeah that is true they do like my buddy's friend

is a Kaden Cross and that's KK oh I love her she's an amazing woman she is yeah she's very cool but every time I think about that it's like yeah

it's just for the alliteration that's the only reason it was Cross with a K so go to CarterCruise.com we'll link all that stuff in the description below you can go see her. All my music's on there.

My mixes. All her shit is dope. If you like good music, you will enjoy her shit. I enjoyed you. Thank you for

coming by. This was amazing. So here's what I'd like to do. I'd like to end the episode with you looking directly into the camera and

saying one word or one phrase. Not like a long sentence, just one word, one phrase. You can think about it. When I'm off camera,

you say it right into camera, okay? One word or one phrase? Yep. End the episode with one word word one phrase you can think about it when i'm off camera you say it right into camera okay one word or one phrase yep end the episode with one word or one phrase oh my god like like of anything anything you want this is your sign off uh motherfucker in here we pour whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey. You're that creature in the ginger beard. Sturdy and ginger. Like vampires, the ginger gene is a curse.

Gingers are beautiful. You owe me $5 for the whiskey and $75 for the horse. Gingers are hell no. This whiskey is excellent.