Whiskey Ginger with Andrew Santino - Chris Distefano - The Chrissy D Residency

Episode Date: March 12, 2021

Santino sits down with WG resident, Chrissy Chaos, Chris Distefano to chat about his obsession with cinnamon women, Biden’s mysterious disappearance and picky vikings. ORDER SOME MERCH!!! https://www.andrewsantinostore.com Join our Patreon : https://www.patreon.com/whiskeygingerpodcast SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS! CUTS CLOTHING - Premium quality with minimal nonsense Built for performance and to wear for all occasions http://cutsclothing.com/whiskey for 15% OFF your first order BETTERHELP - You deserve to feel better Get the help you need today from wherever you are http://betterhelp.com/whiskey for 10% OFF your first month SQUARESPACE - Help design your website today with amazing templates and the help of professionals https://squarespace.com/whiskey Use promo code WHISKEY for 10% off Follow Santino on Insta and Twitter: https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino/ https://twitter.com/CheetoSantino Whiskey Ginger Insta and Twitter: https://www.instagram.com/whiskeygingerpodcast/ & https://twitter.com/whiskeyginger_ Whiskey Ginger Clips: http://www.youtube.com/c/WhiskeyGingerPodcastClips EDITING AND PRODUCTION DESIGN BY THE AMAZING WHISKEY GINGER TEAM JENNA SUNDE https://www.instagram.com/jenna_sunday/ JOE FARIA https://www.instagram.com/joseph_faria Y&S https://www.instagram.com/youngandsick/ Intro Music by Rocom: https://www.youtube.com/user/RocomTelevision Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What up, Whiskey Ginger fans? Welcome back to the show. If it's your first time joining us, like I always say, please subscribe. Please hit that notification bell so you know when we post, and we post every single Friday. We got a good one for you today. Chrissy D., Chris DiStefano is in the house from New York. This is my New York. I'm happy he's here, man. I love this dude so much.

He's going to be doing like a mini residency in L.A. shooting a show, so I think we're going to have him on this show doing a little baby residency, jumping around on the pod a whole bunch. Who knows? Maybe we'll do a whole month of me and Chrissy D. Who knows? Hey, I'm on the road trying to get some tickets out right now. Salt Lake City is almost totally sold out.

I'm going to be there at the beginning of April. At the end of April, I'm going to be in Addison right outside of dallas get them tickets now at andrewsantino.com i think it's probably right there andrewsantino.com go get them tickets uh to come see me and uh on the website andrewsantino.com is where you can also see uh the link to the merch and if you're on youtube the merch bar is right down below you can see all the shirts and hats uh and that's uh right there that's andrewsantinostore.com. And also for the Patreon, patreon.com slash whiskey ginger podcast. You can see the one-on-one content that we do on there. I do Zooms with the top tier every single month, which I love. We're going to be doing YouTube live stuff. It's going to be so much fun. But

again, come see me. We're starting to get back on the road. andrewsantino.com for tickets. We're going to be posting more dates. Big surprises to come. I can't wait to tell you about the cities that we got planned. Enough rambling from me. Let's go to the episode. In here, we pour whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey. You are that creature in the ginger field. Sturdy and ginger.

Like vampires, the ginger gene is a curse. Gingers are pugilist. You owe me $5 for the whiskey and $75 for the horse. Gingers are hell no. This whiskey is excellent. Ginger. I like gingers. Do I look cute?

You always look good. You always look good because you always got... Well, you know what it is. I came from set, so they made me look like a... Oh, wow. I look fat, though. I look fat in this. What are you talking about you look fat?

Well, my legs look fat in this because I'm in sweats. No, wow. I look fat, though. I look fat in this. What are you talking about you look fat? Well, my legs look fat in this because I'm in sweats. No, you don't look fat, buddy. You look like a doctor who just lost a patient. Look at you got chancletas on. Do I look skinny, mini, and tight? You look so tight and tiny.

I look a little tighter than I did last time. You look a lot tighter than you did last time. Yeah, because I've been using my fitness palette. If I unzip this, maybe that'll help me look a little bit thinner. Whoa. Whoa. Look at your cock and balls. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to Whiskey and Ginger. My guest today is one of my favorite people on Earth. I say that for all my guests, help me look a little bit thinner. Whoa. Whoa. Look at your cock and balls.

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to Whiskey and Ginger. My guest today is one of my favorite people on earth. I say that for all my guests, but I mean it once again today. It's Chris DiStefano. Cheers me, baby. Cheers, baby. He's back. How you guys doing?

I'm back, baby. He's in Los Angeles. Los Angeles. Fucking Democrats. I want to say that everybody watching out there, I appreciate all the support, and we will be back in 2024. 2024 is our year, baby. Baby.

How you doing? How you doing, Angel? Did you get vaxxed? No, I didn't get vaxxed, but listen, cuz. I've been throwing them away. Yeah. I've been going to the site and cracking them, throwing them right in the trash.

Absolutely, dude. I said, don't do it. It's a fake narrative. It's false. So I crack the backs throw it away yep dude crackthevacs.com yeah crackthevacs.com i am going to get it though i want to do the johnson and johnson get the one shot i want to do the one shot just get it all bang hit me with the chip bang and then we keep going chip bang chip me bang all these fucking illegals coming

and taking my vacs it's so funny to think the johnson johnson one is the one where everyone goes i want that one anyway yeah just want you trust the name you know yeah because and it's also like my daughter uses johnson and johnson shampoo like i just want to the same here's the thing you know my boy who's a doctor was saying the johnson and johnson one there's a lot of like misconceptions out there like yeah it's not as uh like potent or whatever like you could that's true yeah well no's not as uh like potent or whatever like you can that's true yeah well no he said johnson johnson was saying like you you might have a higher chance of getting covid if you get the johnson and johnson one but the main the preventing

death and preventing severe illness is the same it blocks moderna pfizer and johnson johnson all blocked out the same so he's like all it's going to do is maybe you'll get a little bit of a cold with covid moderna and fives you may not you're probably never gonna get covid ever it'll just bounce off your body johnson and johnson's like okay you get one shot if you do get covid which you still probably won't maybe get a little sniffles but that's it guys so i'm like just give me the johnson and johnson i gotta get out there and start eating pussy pussy. Imagine I just did full dice clay. Oh! Fucking goo.

I just got the vaccine so I can eat your ass now. The dice guy cometh. Hide this a little bit. Push it down. I want to see how beautiful your face is. Yeah. Black cock dude. hide this a little bit push it down I want to see how beautiful your face is yeah

black cock dude I did on my podcast Chrissy Chaos last week we interviewed my girlfriend's transgender uncle man did I love it man did I love it literally dude

this mic by his mouth at first I thought he was joking I'm like oh he just wants to suck it I was like oh this guy is good for the camera but then he told us he texted

Jasmine was like he had to call his like old lover because he just was in the mood for black cock because of these because of these he was

it's like he craves cock more than anyone I've ever met so shout out Titi Titi shout out I loved you I loved the interview

I loved also he could the story I loved the most was that he couldn't catch the D in the showers because he was dropping the soap and people were annoyed he kept dropping the soap. They were annoyed, yeah. And then if you got too close to him, because there was a guy who just used to put his penis in the cell and be like, suck this. And he said he was just starting to piss him off.

He said he started to get offended by it. And he said the guy just would leave his dick limp over the prison thing. So he said one day he folded up a can of tuna fish. He took the little can of tuna fish, and he sliced his dick off. Shut up. I swear to God, dude. And he told us crazy stories. He came into my apartment because we do the show from my apartment.

He came into my apartment wearing one of my sweatshirts from the Denver Comedy Works because I just will give bags. Like, you know a lot of people drop bags off to the Salvation Army. I dropped them off to my girlfriend's Puerto Rican family. That's like, I just give them my clothes. And every time at an event, they're wearing something of mine. So he literally came into my house with the Denver Comedy Works sweatshirt and left with one of Jasmine's jackets. So he walked in with my clothes and left with hers because he's fucking crazy.

What does he do for money? What's his job? So he gets $85 a month. Government. Government. They give him $85 a month. What do you do with $85 a month? Well, they pay for his housing, but it's actually said because he was getting estrogen therapy because he wants titties. He wants titties. He said he doesn't necessarily

want a pussy, but he wants tits. But will the government fund that? No, but in prison they were giving him his tits. Oh. But now he's out, so I'm trying to do – Let's get him locked up again. Well, that's what I said. I said either we can get locked up again,

or I made a T-shirt called – with T.T.'s face on it. You can get it at christycomedy.com, and that money's going to go to getting him his estrogen therapy. Go to christycomedy.com and go please get that shirt so we can get Uncle T.T. You want one? I'll get you one.

I'll donate. I'll donate anyway. No, no, no. No, let me donate. Okay. Let me do it. Okay? Let me have my day.

Here's the problem, though. What? Because T.T. got him on the show and a lot of people are messaging him. Now he wants to do comedy and start a podcast. So that's the issue. Dude, I hope it buries ours. Dude, could you imagine? Yeah.

I would literally- Shower time. Shower time with T.T. Shower time with T.T. With T.T. T.T., do you love me? He'll get sponsored by Soap. Soap will, Dial Soap will sponsor him.

Because this is good, and I got the calories today, because I got 300 calories left on my Fitness Pal app. Are you really doing that that heavy? Dude, that's the only way, man, is because, and I've been cooking. Today I made a salmon stir fry. Dude, I don't like salmon cooked. What? Am I weird?

I like raw salmon. I give it to me raw. Am I weird? I like raw salmon. I give it to me raw. Oh, baby, I like it raw. I wanted a raw salmon with a chopstick. I don't like it cooked. Dude, let's nuke Japan again. Imagine we'd say, coming back for round two, baby!

What if we flew one over and just said, just kidding? Just kidding, yeah. Just kidding, this one Just kidding. Just kidding. This one exploded into just, yeah, like fucking rainbow smoke. It was like, whoo! Psych! It bubbles.

It bubbles. Imagine we dropped a nuke of bubbles. Ah! Isn't that crazy? That's the type of shit Biden needs to do if he wants to get my vote. Hey, man, he's bombing Syria. You're bombing Syria, Biden? Why don't you do me a favor and bomb everybody else?

Okay. How about this? You see they're keeping kids in cages. They're just doing it luxury style. They're at Four Seasons cages now. That's what it is and bam everybody else? Okay. How about this? You see they're keeping kids in cages. They're just doing it luxury style. They're at Four Seasons cages now. That's what it is, baby. It's hot. How about this?

Because we had the mail-in voting, like in New York, as I'm sure you guys did here. White mail-in voting, by the way. White mail-in voting. So Jasmine, my Puerto Rican baby mama girlfriend, Esposa, she asked me to drop her vote off in the ballot box, and I was waiting on the long line, and I, she asked me to drop her vote off in the ballot box, and I was waiting on the long line, and I noticed she didn't seal it, so I took a peek, and I saw it's for Joey B. Tore it up, threw it in the trash.

Tear it up. Tear it up. Trashthevax.com. Go check it out. What? She was like, that's a felony. I said, I'll call ICE right now and fucking T-O-T-T-N-A-B-L-E-T-A. We're getting your free flight back to the island, kid.

Yeah, yeah. I'm kidding. This is just a character. We're having fun. We're having fun. We're having fun. I came out ultra political. You know how I voted for her.

You know exactly how Chrissy D votes. And he votes independent. He voted Indy. He's an Indy boy. Voted Indy. But dude, I haven't seen you in three months, four months, and I miss you, baby. I miss you so much. Can I come over to your house with my family?

Yes, please. Seriously. We're going to do the wife swap. I know. We are doing it. And mine's six months pregnant. My wife's six months pregnant. What did your wife say about the wife swap thing?

She said, totally cool. She said that she, because you have red hair, she said she wants to go clear with her doctor first. Yeah, you have to. Because we're not sure with redheads with pregnancy. I understand. She said with everything that's been going on, and, you know, she does it in her culture,

that Satan and Diablo, and she doesn't want to go near it. But her doctor cleared and said that you're fully fine. I'm good to go? You're fine in the ass. You can't go in her puss. Clearly. Yeah. That's it, dude.

What if I get her pregnant through the ass anyway, just because they're so fertile? Fertile myrtle, those. Fertile myrtle. Those iron chicks. Then, listen, dude, you can, whatever, man. I'll be daddy too. Yeah, yeah, you'll be daddy too. It doesn't matter. She can'tret a myrtle. Those iron chicks. Then, listen, dude, you can, whatever, man. I'll be daddy, too. Yeah.

Yeah, you'll be daddy, too. It doesn't matter. She can't have enough baby daddies. It's great. That's like one of these new Disney movies. Yeah. Two fathers, one wife. Right?

It's like a new Polly, new Polly. Yeah, a new Polly. A new Polly family. Dude, and we would have to, you know. Dude, my girlfriend's ex-husband, him and i are like legit best friends and it pisses her off how long were they married like two three years and then they have you know their child my stepson who's with us out in cali he um he's blind right no no he's not blind he's not well no he's not blind he does he's uh he's into like skating, though. So he's blind. Yes.

That's what we say. He's blind. He's blind. Yeah, he's blind. He's blind, yeah. Wait, how old is the kid? He's 10. Does he call you Papa?

What does he say? What does he call you? Because you and Dad have such a relationship. That's got to be fun for the kid to see his dad and his new dad hanging out. Well, he was confused because— You both berate him. Yeah, because me and my girl, you know, we had broke up for two years. We were just co-parenting. And then with the quarantine, I came back. And then all of a sudden You both berated him. Yeah, because me and my girl, you know, we had broke up for two years. We were just co-parenting.

And then with the quarantine, I came back. And then all of a sudden, she's pregnant again. And he didn't know. He asked me. He's like, whose kid is this? He's like, well, you're back. He's like, she's pregnant. But like, what's going on?

It could have been his kid. Well, he said he was like, is it my dad's kid? And I was like, no, buddy. She's not going back there, dude. You see your dad? Dude, and I had her – I I had his name's Tristan. He was a great dad. Shout out Tristan Rago.

Great fucking guy. Close friend of mine now. I had him on the podcast, my podcast, a week before. We were just... Tristan. Yeah, Tristan. I had my girlfriend's ex-husband on the podcast, and I made my ex-girlfriend sit there on her spin bike and listen to what good friends were.

Did she like it? She liked it, but she was like, it bothers me how close you are. I'm like, well, deal with it. What was the first thing you guys bonded over? what was the initial thing was it her i guess like some of the like you know like tip picks she sent yeah um yeah i think um we bought actually that we bonded when you know because we had a talk and we were like hey like whatever like the differences that we have like put those to the side. Like we are kids, are siblings. Yeah.

So like let's kind of channel our energy through our children. And then we did that. And then like as time went on, like we started to realize like, yo, we got a lot in common. Like he loves comedy. We like talking about sports. We're both big into cryptocurrency. I'm Chrissy Crypto. I'm the crypto king right now.

I know you are. I got one Bitcoin, three Ethereum. You got a Biddy? Bitcoin baby. I'm the Bitcoin baby. You got one Bid? I got a few. I'm not even going to tell you about where I am. I'm invested. I'm deep. I'm sunk. You got a Biddy? I'm the Bitcoin baby. You got one Bit? I got a few. I'm not even going to tell you about where I am.

I'm invested. I'm deep. I'm sunk. How many Biddies? When's the first time you bought a Bitcoin? Got a couple of Bitcoins about a year ago. Okay, so you got money in there. Can I tell you something?

I have no Bitcoins. What? I want it so bad. I don't know how to do it. I don't even know how to do it. I don't know where to go. Coinbase, baby. You got to download the Coinbase app or Gemini.

I went in. I'm so scared. Who's got the money? Where does it go? Who is it? For me, I'm kind of just like whatever it is. I went in there. I got a Bitcoin. I just bought one. I'm holding on to it and it's up, dude.

You got one whole coin. I got one whole coin and I got three Ethereums. What's an Ethereum? This sounds like witchcraft. This sounds like Dungeons and Dragons. I have two Ethereums to your one Bitcoin and I'll see you as Gododium. This is an Ethereum. This sounds like witchcraft. This sounds like Dungeons and Dragons. See, in Ethereum. I have two Ethereums to your one Bitcoin, and I'll see you as Godotium. It sounds so dork shit.

I don't know what to do. I know. People are like, is it an actual coin? And I'm like, dude, I don't know, man. They should mail you a coin. Yeah. My dad was like, I don't understand. He's like, do you understand it?

I was like, not really. He was like, how much did you invest? I was like, 60K. So much. I was like, 60K, dad invest? I was like, 60K. So much. I was like, 60K, dad. Fuck it. I'm Chrissy Bitcoins. Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep.

Like Super Mario. Getting the coins. Beep, beep, beep, beep. Then I go down the tunnel. Beep. Brr, brr, brr, brr, brr. No, but you know what? What if the bottom all falls out?

Well, then, you know, that's the thing is my girl and my kids were like, oh, we're going to have a house. And I was like, no, we're not. We want crypto. So we're going to stay in the fucking two-floor walk-up in Bay Ridge, Brooklyn. Bay Ridge. Bay Ridge. And now you're out here in the valley shooting a show.

Chrissy D's going to be here for two months. Wait, two months or three months? Two, three months. And right now the plan is for me to be the fucking resident Guesty Westy. Resident Guesty Westy here on Whiskey Ginger. We're going to have some drinks almost every single week together. We're going to kiss. We're going to touch.

We might take it further. Yeah. You're in town. I might as well. I want to see you as much as I can. Yeah, I need another call because I blew up my other podcast. No, I'm kidding. I heard you guys got sued. History Hyenas got sued by the History Channel. Want to shout out Giannis Pappas.

We had a great run. Love Giannis. Love Gianni Papp. Anybody, because people always ask, it's like, dude, we just wanted to end the show because we wanted to go out on top. And, dude, nothing but love for Yanni. Me and Yanni are friends first. We're always friends. So it's just like let the people on the internet come up with whatever ideas they have.

To be fair, I'll spread something out there. He said he likes me more than he likes you. That's what Yanni said. That's a fact. That's what God intended. You know, you can't have too many friends like you around. He does like me very much. Yeah, the Yann Pop is my guy.

We love him very much. Yes. And if he comes into town, he'll be my next resident guest. That's what he is because he doesn't care about me. You're living in the valley. The family is here. Yeah. You're living ice cold up here, man.

This is smooth living up here, huh? Smooth. I came out here. It's 50 degrees. It's 60 back in New York. We don't care, dude. We just make it work, dude. You did.

I went in the fucking pool today at 52 degrees. You lie. You got a hot tub? No, I don't have a hot tub, but Tony, because Tony Robbins said, I actually did jump in the pool today because Tony Robbins said

he starts his day every day. He's a big Cro-Magnum head. He starts his day every day. I mean, that kid's fucking a Cro-Maggie. He's in the Andetol. If you don't think we came from apes, you look at Tony Robbins, you're like, we did.

Yeah, look at that guy's head. So he said he starts... He's like, do you believe in yourself? If you don't think we came from apes, you look at Tony Robbins, you're like, we did. Yeah, look at that guy's head. So he said he starts... He's like, do you believe in yourself? If you don't believe in yourself, then you're an idiot. Have you seen his hands? His hands are massive. They're so big. Have you ever met him? No, I'm so scared to meet him. Me too. I feel like

he'll suck you into his thing, you know? He'll suck you right into believing in all that stuff. Look, positive guy. Bless up Tony Robbins. I don't know if he's lizard people. He's probably going to kill me. Yeah, $10,000 to go take one of his seminars. 10 Gs?

10 Gs. I could get a fucking Bitcoin. Get a quarter of a Bitcoin. No, but he said he jumps in the pool. Every morning, 50 degree water, ice cold water. He said he shocks the body, wakes up. So I tried it today and I did it. And did it feel good or no?

You know, it felt... It didn't feel great. No, it's crazy. This is the kind of stuff where I'm just like... My grandfather died today, by the way. Rest in peace. Are you serious? Dead, 100% serious.

Wow, sorry to hear that. This morning, died. 92 years old. Really? Brilliant, beautiful guy. What a wonderful man. You want to know something about my grandfather? He never worked out his whole life.

He didn't eat super healthy foods. 92. How do you think he died? What happened? He didn't eat super healthy foods. 92. How do you think he died? What happened? He got shot. He got shot. 92. Beat COVID, he got shot.

He was cruising in the wrong neighborhood, dude. That's what happened. He was throwing up signs. I said, Grandpa, you can't go to the south side of Chicago and throw up signs. Yeah, and he did it anyway. He goes, I live my life, bitch. That's what it is. He was throwing them up. He goes, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop.

Yeah. And they clipped him. They clipped my grandpa. Maybe he was with them. Because the last time you spoke to me you when your grandfather maybe you tell me he was like dangerous because you said he's part of takashi six nines crew he was he was my grandfather was takashi's one of takashi's bodyguards yeah yeah he's dead and you know what when they fronted on him about takashi's chain my grandfather clapped back and so now i

think they caught him in the streets they caught him they caught him without security but let's be honest no my grandfather did pass away and rest in in peace, he was a wonderful dude. Rest in peace, guy. And the only way you can give any sort of solace to sadness is to have some fun and joke about it. Absolutely do. I'll tell you something, you know what my old man said?

He said... This is your father's father. This is my biological father's father. Got it. Yes. He said, because his mother died when I was a kid. Right.

And he said to me, he goes, oh, he had a dream that he was playing. He was a dude, this guy was a lifelong gambler. Probably lost everything 10 times over. Sure. Loved gambling. Yeah.

And he said he was playing poker in his dreams, like wanted poker in heaven or something. I'm like, dude, even in the afterlife, this guy is a degenerate. I love it. Degenerate gambler. I love it. It's sad, but the positive thing is at least now we have one less member of the white male patriarchy walking on the streets. That's the only positive that we could take. It's sad, but the positive thing is at least now we have one less member of the white male patriarchy walking on the streets. That's the only positive that we could take.

And I'm sure that you- That is very true. I'm glad. One more white man gone. Gone. One more white man gone. Are you going to go back to the funeral in Chicago? You going to go?

This is the shitty thing. I want to go back really bad. We're still shooting Dave for like the ninth month. I'm on the- Why do you have to die during Dave, dude? Huh? I know. Why do you have to die-

That's what I texted him. I said, don't die during Dave. And if he died, what if he died on the, we're supposed to do that arena tour. What if he would've died then?

Well, you can't do, you gotta go do the arena. They're gonna bring the body to the arena. Yeah, and we'll fucking do, we'll do bits, we'll roast the casket. Stop!

Roll him out! Roll him out! Yeah, Christy's talking about we shouldn't tip anything away because we don't know what's going to happen we're supposed to do a little arena tour

with some other phenomenal comics how crazy is that I want to do it so bad and just know that the original lineup we all had one thing in common

you'll figure it out yeah no it's honestly it's going to be it would be so cool to get back I'm booking dates right now because I'm ready

when Dave's over I'm going to go back out I'm booking dates right now because I'm ready when Dave's over. I'm going to go back out. Yeah, I saw you doing Salt Lake City. SLC. I'm doing Addison. Also, all my other stuff for the end of the summer we're going to start putting up now. Because, dude, they keep saying, Fauci, little mini Fauci. Fauci, Fauci.

Little pocket, pocket puss Fauci. Yeah. He says, by the summer, summer, summertime, we're going to be vaxxed up. Baby, I've been doing this. I'm so excited. Vax everybody. Get them knocked out. Don't crack the vax.

That's a fake website. Please go get vaxed so we can tour again. Please. How come you're – can you get the vax out? What are the rules in Cali to get the vax? 65 and over are health immune compromised can do it right now. And then if you work in any of those industries, you can do it where you're like healthcare or – But like what about doing comedy clubs?

Like I feel like comedy clubs are health are uh like restaurant workers yeah yeah well that is the food industry right like there is to a degree um i think they're working on trying to get it to like i knew they were working on it for film production and all that stuff to see if they could get that done and they never got it approved which i think is crazy because you're like this whole town is film production so we need to get it done that's all we are that's you're hundreds of thousands of people employed in the city uh if not if not close to a million people that work somewhere in production that have to be on set there has to be a black market where we can get it doesn't doesn't bobby have to fight sorry an african-american

african-american market doesn't bobby know some chinese tricks or something where he does he does but because he's korean we're never going to get away with it, my friend. He's Korean? He is not. What's the difference? From Korean and Chinese? And Japanese. What's the difference? Honestly? Yeah. Food, culture, clothes.

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Ginger. I like gingers. Yeah, no, we got, I want to get a, I've had some friends get the sneak facts. By the way, Ginger I like gingers Yeah no We got I want to get I've had some friends Get the sneak facts By the way There's some people out there That are listening

There's some people That you know That probably You've got the facts And you did it shady style You scumbags You little scumbags You got it

Because well Oh my grandmother's sick And I have to see her sometimes And doesn't even have a grandma Liar You lied Andrew's grandpa died of COVID He still don't have the facts

Today He killed his grips. You guys are sneaking it. I've had a few friends of mine seriously that snuck it. Did they get the John and John? No, we don't have John and John out here. We got Moderna's and we got Pfizer. A lot of people

are getting the Johnson & Johnson vaccine. I'm getting the Papa John's vaccine. Could you imagine Papa John came out with a vaccine what... Could you imagine Papa John came out with a vaccine right now? Would you take it if it was FDA approved? 100%.

Yeah. 100%. 100% from that sweaty freak, but he has to administer it to you? Yeah. And then he just, every time he just yells the slur. He's just like,

sheesh. I mean, what a sick fuck. Yeah, crazy nutbag too. Honestly, good pizza. Great pizza. They would always give you a little garlic sauce, a little bell pepper. I like a little Domino's.

You're a Domino's guy? I like the... My favorite is Pizza Hut. Yeah. If I'm going to get slimy, disgusting, I'll go Pizza Hut. If I'm going to get disgusting, Pizza Hut's the king. But Pizza Hut, I feel like, they're the fewest and far between. You don't see Pizza Huts too much, right?

In L.A., do you see them a lot? I feel like that's true. No, you know what? Out here, there's a lot of Shakey's. Do you know what Shakey's is? No. What Shakey's? What? You want to go to Shakey's? Take the kids to Shakey's. Do you know what Shakey's is? No. What's Shakey's? What?

You want to go to Shakey's? Take your kids to Shakey's. Let's go. Let's take the kids to Shakey's. I'll take them there because they're Puerto Ricans. They can work there. Trust me, they will.

They'll have to. They don't have a choice. They make you wash dishes if you're Puerto Rican. Amazing, dude. I like that. Shakey's is all over. There's Shakey's

and there's another one called Round Table Pizza, which I don't even know is around anymore, but when I first moved here, they had the cheapest pizza you could get, so me and my buddy Colin

used to get round table pizza. No shit. And XL was like $5.99. But that had to feel nasty. Nasty. Got that in the chest. You'd get the poops. Cafeteria cheese. Yeah, cafeteria cheese. It gets lodged right here. Got the poopy whoopies. You'd poop, but you'd poop like four days later. Yeah. Since I've been eating healthy

wealthy, I've been taking my all my shits are S-shaped. That's the sign of good colon health. S, so I got all S-shaped, and they sink to the bottom. A lot of times, when I was eating unhealthy, I would have floaters and just skedaddled. See, I have rabbits. Rabbit poop. What do they say about that?

But you're a healthy, wealthy guy. I know, but it says I'm dehydrated because I'm working crazy hours. I drink a lot of coffee. I'm not drinking a lot of water. What are the hours for a Dickie show? Dude, honestly, it's been all over the place, right? So like, I'm working drinking a lot of water. What are the hours for Dickie's show? Dude, honestly, it's been all over the place, right? So, like, I'm working on Saturday now because we have to catch up because of what the Rona did to us, the schedule-wise. So sometimes I'm up for a 7 a.m. call.

Right. Sometimes I'm not there until 4. But then sometimes you're... 4 p.m.? Yeah, 4 p.m. Nobody worked till 1 o'clock in the morning? 2, 1, 2 in the morning, 3 in the morning. Yeah.

And then sometimes when you're in the early one, you last all the way until 10 p.m. and you're exhausted. Then the next day, they're're like we got to turn you right around you got to come back at 9 a.m or 8 a.m when does it end when it's filming reps when a couple of weeks okay a couple of weeks so it's it's a great show dude thanks babe i mean that that show it's like it got renewed and i mean didn't didn't you did you win an award did the kid win an award we didn't win any awards we weren't up for any awards we got the we were the highest viewed comedy in fx's history little dicky if youy, if you're watching this show, just know

I've never met you before. I know your work. I think you're very funny. If I ever see you in person, I'm going to beat the shit out of you. I'm going to fucking bounce your head off a fucking hubcap, and you're not going to know why. And here's the truth. I don't know why. I fucking like you, and I just want to fucking I want you spitting out your teeth, you fucking

little fuck. Wait, careful. You don't want to get in line. Don't say any anti-Semitic stuff. You'll be in line with that guy from the you fucking little fuck. Wait, careful. You don't want to get in line. Don't say any anti-Semitic stuff. You'll be in line with that guy from the Miami Heat. Oh, yeah, yeah. How jacked is that guy? Yelling the K word on Call of Duty.

What are you doing, bud? You can't say the K word. I mean, what? Here's the biggest twist. The guy's wife is Jewish. Really? His wife is Jewish. The owner of the team is Jewish.

This guy yells the K word on Call of Duty. People have to stop going away, though. It's like now he's just been silenced. It's like, dude, just come out. Just come out. Say you're sorry. Or do something funny. Just be like, I didn't know what it meant, and then just tweet a swastika.

Just do something funny. What if he lifted up his shirt and he had a Hitler tattoo? Double down. Double down. Because here's the thing, though. Here's the thing. Because, you know, but I don't know if you saw, too, a Jewish person, Julian Edelman from the New England Patriots, this Jewish guy. He said, he tweeted, he said, look, dude, you know, I know you were misinformed.

You're a younger guy, even though it's probably bullshit. It's like, we all know the K word is like no good. Like, you could say Jew or Jew, but like the K word is like. No, you can't say the K word, bud. Don't say that word. You can't say it. That's as bad as the N word or like that. You can't say that. You can't say the K word, bud. Don't say that word. You can't say it. That's as bad as the N word. You can't say that.

You can't say the K word. That's a bad one. Yeah. So I think he knew that, and he probably didn't think like, oh, people are not going to hear me on Twitch. But Julian Edelman said, hey, I want to show you the meaning of that word. Come over to my house. We'll have a Seder dinner.

Come over. Hang out. So I think... And he tweeted back. He goes, you think I want to come hang out with a... He just tweeted back, he goes, you think I want to come hang out with a. He just tweeted back three German flags. He was like, pew, pew, pew.

So what did he say? Did he say he's going to go hang out with them? No, well, no, because they silenced the kid's Twitter, Miles Leonard. Oh, they really did? Well, not like the Heat were like, oh, yeah, he's taking a leave. Oh, right. It's got to stop the leave of absence. Like, come right out and say I'm sorry. So he wrote an apology

I saw they fined him 50 G's he wrote an apology suspended for 10 games or something like that fine that's enough yeah and I think honestly he wrote

a nice little apology that was saying it was disgusting and irresponsible and stupid and by the way good that should be the action

yeah we say a lot of dumb shit like on luckily we're comedians and we're dude we're fucking around we're fucking around he's not a comedian

he's not a comedian and I would never even say that word to be honest and i don't think he was fucking around yeah yeah i think he kind of meant it yeah the difference of when we're joking around and people know when we're joking around as comics and when they're uh going for the jugular you can feel it but that weirdest part was a friend of mine said well we said this today on set dickie said this on set that he was like it's not even a word that people joke about in conversation anymore right and i go that's right like it's i'm not saying yeah i'm just saying you don't hear it do you know what i mean yeah people say the n word they say the n word you hear it it's a thing you've you've heard yeah that word is deliberate and yeah that there's no way to even make that funny you know and he goes the only way he goes

i bet you the only way that that's real is if he absolutely actually does hate Jewish people or he has Jewish friends or family members and he jokes around about it with them and that's like a thing. And I go, sure enough. Sure enough. His wife is Jewish. So he must have said it as like a, you know what I mean? You know when you're like, when you say something to Jazz and you're like, you know, going off. Oh, yeah, yeah.

It's like, you want to put me, put your head through the fridge? You want me to put your head through like go you know going oh yeah yeah it's like you want to put me put your head through the fridge you want to put your head through drywall yeah when you're just exaggerating and going over the top maybe he does that with her and she they have some sort of yeah joke about i don't know yeah like like and then you just said it in the game like with jazz sometimes i'll joke right if there's company there or whatever like she'll come in i'll point at her and span. Okay, she laughs, you know. She's able because it's all love. It's amazing you turn a maid into your wife.

That's the coolest thing you've ever done. I met her. She was my cleaning lady. And then she came over. She's like, How much does she hate it when you joke around like that? She hates it, dude. But then she fucking holds a knife to my throat, You can pay me in peso. But you know what? How much does she hate it when you joke around like that? She hates it, dude. But you know what? But then she fucking holds a knife to my throat, so it all evens out. She, she, she, and by the way, I want to shout out Lil Dicky.

Love Lil Dicky. I was just kidding around. You know what I mean? But I fucking, if I ever do meet him, he knows I'll jerk that kid off. I kind of want. I'll jerk that kid off. He knows that I'll jerk him off, right? You will?

A hundred percent, dude. Rap around? Rap around? Yeah. I'll jerk him off. I'll milk him. We were talking about that yesterday on the set

was that can I come on the set or with COVID rules you can't COVID rules you can't fucking no fun but Benny Blanco was saying that yesterday

about like he's like would you be he said would you be afraid to kiss another guy I said I'm not afraid I just don't know

if I'd be into it Benny and he said well what if it was the hottest guy on earth like Brad Pitt and I said yeah I might give him a smooch just to have a story to tell about smooching Brad Pitt.

And then he said, well, I mean, would you tug him? And I said, I don't know, Ben. And he goes, how? I want to know how, though. Right. Obviously, you would do behind reach around. You can't do like a side or a front because it's weird. I would go right.

I'd lock eyes, dude. I'd go right in front like a guy like Tom Brady. Right. And I would just pull him down like a horse and let him shoot it on my knee. You would? I would, dude. You think it's going to go there? Are you kidding me?

That guy's a vegan. It's going over your head. Going over my head. It's going over your head. Dude, you know what I think for the NBA, too, for this Miles Leonard thing? That's the name, Miles Leonard, right? I'm almost positive, yeah. I mean, he's got the fucking – he's a hot guy.

I mean, Jack Darman. Let me tell you something, though. He looks like an Aryan. He looks like a Hitler. Could you imagine World War II, him running at you on the battlefield? Like, as in, I would put my gun down. I'd be like, no, no, no, this guy's going to kill me. But I think just the same way when Donald Sterling

made those horrible comments about black people and everyone came out wearing the black shirts and the black... I think everybody, all the NBA players, LeBron James, everybody should come out wearing yarmulkes. That's what I think. Have them come out wearing yammies for the next game in support

and the ones who aren't circumcised get it snipped. That's exactly right. If they genuinely want to support and want to stand against hatred, they'll come out. Everybody will come out with yammies on. And get snipped. Halftime show. Yeah.

Welcome to the halftime show. Adam Abramowitz getting snipped right here at midcourt. Yeah, you get snipped in the middle of the game. Wouldn't that be fun? Can we go to the games? Are we at 10% in L.A.? Not in L.A. We can't do anything? Can't do nothing out here.

Let me tell you something, California. I got to be honest with you. Say it. It's a little, I understand COVID's very real. Say it. And I wear the mask. It's a little bit like hysteria out here. It's a little bit like what I think the Salem witch trials must have been like in the late 1600s in Salem, Massachusetts.

It's a little hysteria. It's crazy. It's COVID. I understand that it could's COVID. I understand that it could kill people. I understand the devastation, but you have a 99.9% chance of surviving this. You have to open up and live life a little bit.

We got to do a little bit better. Most states are doing way better than we are. I was jogging today and two people were walking. There was nobody around them in this park in the Balboa Park. Both masks on. I'm like, relax, man. It drives me nuts when I see someone in their car. It's hysteria.

In their car by themselves with a mask on. You're like, who's that from? Because I worry about the implications in society where it's like, I understand you want to keep yourself safe and eventually the vaccine. But when does the mental health, when are you okay not wearing a mask? No, I know. Trust me. I talk about that all the time. I think we've done a great job of being safe in California.

We're going a little bit. We need to go. We need to be a little bit more lenient, right? Just a little bit. I'm not saying open up. We need to be better. But that being said, it's the stuff that doesn't make sense that makes me the most mad. Where, look, I run.

You know I run. Sure. And I don't run with a mask because I run in my neighborhood. Not lately. You got a little pouch. I know. No, I'm kidding. No, look, i got a little pooch magooch no it looks good though but it's a little what are you 190 yeah 197 i'm 230 fatty but i do have a little baby pooch no no you don't you know i'm also sitting yeah no you're i was just kidding around because you went

this is what it's like to be your wife you sue me for harassment five years no i but i've been running and when i run i run without a mask because yes i'm running my neighborhood near literally nobody i'm not within 50 yards not feet 50 yards of a human and sometimes from across the way someone will kind of give you a look like can't believe you're not wearing a mask and you're like i'm nowhere fucking near you dude even this isn't contagion yes it doesn't float in the air and you had it already you got you got the bodies i got the bodies even the bodies hit the floor let the bodies hit the floor let the bodies and you know what honestly i wish there was a way to tell people i got the bodies i want a shirt that says body guy, body boy

body count, one, me by the way, going back to the Nazis real quick I want to let everyone know on your producer and I believe the woman who does your art who does a fantastic job Jenna Sunday sent me a message today saying that when she was a young girl

Good Charlotte, the lead singer of Good Charlotte wanted to buy Nazi jewelry off her, so I just wanted to say that publicly singer of Good Charlotte, wanted to buy Nazi jewelry off her. I just wanted to say that publicly. She was selling it? She was selling Nazi jewelry. My editor? Yeah. What's going on behind the camera here? Yeah. I have no idea.

But you know what? Did she make some money? She made some money, and she might have got a recent sale from Chris GD. Imagine? I got a spectacular team from Chris GD. Imagine. I got a spectacular team. Jenna Sunday, by the way, shout out Jenna Sunday. She makes such amazing flyers and so good digital art. I reached out today, and I said, you got to work for me.

No, come on. I can share. It's fine. I'll say this. The one thing about what Rona's done more than anything is artists, and I mean this, I'm being genuine, artists that I work with like her and Joe Faria, these people that are graphic designers and artists and they do post work and they do After Effects and all that stuff,

now that I've seen their abilities, it's crazy what they can do when they're given free reign instead of like, they tell us, just like comics, dude. When they're bridled to a job at a corporate level, you have to stay within the line. Yes. And when they get freedom to like play and have fun. Yeah. It's brilliant.

And you're like, this is exactly what it's like when you do like a Tonight Show set and they're like, we think you're funny. Yeah. Can you cut out all the shit that you love? That you love. Yeah. Yeah. And that's, they feel the exact same way.

Yeah. She's amazing. And somebody like a Jenna Sunday and Joe is like, that's's you need them to be like a part of your team it's like they're more important than a manager or anything like now it's like i need what does the manager do yeah no i need jenna you know what i mean what is it tell me what a manager does yeah i don't know we got you a brand deal with uh goop you know with goop yeah with fucking goopy you have to do a goop read if you want that i don't i i't – the business now has shown itself with true colors that like – No.

We got an agent. We got our podcast. We got our crew, and that's it. That's it. What else do you need? It's like – you know what's a great example of what you just brought up about like when you let somebody outside the box is – That sound, by the way. That's like when I take out my butt plug.

That's the exact sound. That show that Tim Robinson on Netflix, I think it's i'll see you in hell um you know the netflix sketch show oh oh oh oh what's it called yeah yeah it's called um damn dude no it's the best truly no i want to i want to google it right now just because just because it is truly if you haven't seen it the best sketch comedy show I think I've ever seen in my life. And he was a writer for – I think you should leave. I think you should leave now. I think you should leave with Tim Robinson.

He's incredible, man. Dude, he was a writer on SNL, and I'm sure did great stuff, and I don't know how many sketches got on. But when he was writing on – I know somebody who works with him was saying, the sketches that you're seeing on I Think You Should Leave is what he wanted to do on SNL, but what he was never allowed to do, and they would never make the air. And when you see what his mind is actually like, and I would argue other writers from SNL or other great shows,

same thing, when you let him out of the box, the sketches are, I'm telling you, the funniest things I've ever seen in my life. The only one who came close to that, or maybe I would put them on the same level, and they were able to do it in the box, which is really insane, was Key and Peele. I felt Key and Peele

sketches, they were unbelievable. Like, to me, better than Chappelle. Chappelle is obviously the goat, but better than Chappelle. I don't know, I just think they had more ammunition than Chappelle, right? They had a real budget, they could actually do stuff. Dave was going in, Dave did shoestring shit, and it was still good. That's true, too.

And it was still good. You know what I mean? That's true, too. That's true. No, I give it up. But the problem is, I think the problem with all those sketch shows is, unless you have the internet to back you, which Netflix is essentially the internet, right? It's the internet.

Unless you have the internet to back you, which is free. It's like free for all. It's like, oh, you can go ape shit on the internet. That's the thing. It's like, you put it on cable, you're fucked. You're fucked. You can't do anything. You just can't do anything.

Like, speaking of which, you got your new show coming out. They're going to bridle you a little bit. True TV, Backyard Bar Wars, BBW comes out in the summer. BBW. It's me hosting a show. I go to people's backyards and they build a bar in their backyard and they build it against their friend and we see which friend wins and then

they do some kind of punishment, just like the Impractical Jokers. Anything on True TV has to involve a punishment. And it's just four friends, but I'm the host of the show. And yeah, dude, the thing is- It's going to be good. It's going to be good. We're going to-

Last time you were out here, you were happy about it. We ate some sushi. We did the pilot. I got Rona. You got the Roro. And then you said, I think I'm going to do this show. It's really fun. And listen, it's one of those things where sometimes people know, sometimes people, some of my, you know, people

on the internet have been like, hey, you fucking sell out. What are you doing? TV shows now? It's like, sorry, I have children. Yeah, there's a, and it's also like, to put something like that in your resume and your repertoire is good, and I feel because of the podcast and because of patreon.com slash christycomedy,

I feel protected by my fans because i'm like okay cancel take the true tv show away from me i'll just come right back here and do the podcast no problem with you guys i'm only doing the true tv show so i can have no it's going to be fun to host and do that and learn a new skill but also it's like i can do the pot your podcast every week i can just do whitney cummings i can go out and do every, you know, hang with Bobby Lee and all these things. So I took the job to do podcasts in LA.

It's more access to more fun things that you enjoy. This is the most fun we could possibly have is what you and I are doing right now. And it moves our career the furthest. Well, that's a weird thing. It's like when people say, like, you know, Rogan was making fun of me about doing TV again. He's like, why are you doing that show again? Do you even like that show? And I said, yeah, what he,

I think what some people don't get about this whole thing is like, I enjoy the world of television because you get to meet cool new people. You get to work with people that you're like,

oh, I didn't get to work with them. Like the director of one of our episodes, she did Honey Boy. Did you ever watch Honey Boy? No. Great show?

Honey Boy was Shia LaBeouf's movie. I mean, dude, it was phenomenal. And she's great and it's like i wouldn't get to meet her otherwise and i think she's talented it's good to work with her and it's like then i get a new lease on working with talented people and that opens up all sorts of fucking doors which may translate back to this one and that's the thing and that and that's what i and that's like not an argument but like when i when i see people on twitter sometimes tweet at me i'm like there's enough hours in the day to do both. I'm not choosing TV over podcasting.

I am doing both. Neither one of them are suffering. Why can't I do a podcast? Why can't I do a TV show during the day and my podcast at night? It'll still come out every week. And you, by the way, you got nine podcasts anyway. I got fucking, I got Chrissy KS. I got Hey Babe.

Boom. You're going to be over here a little bit. I got Whiskey Ginger. You're going to be over there a little bit. Listen, Joe Rogan, if you're watching, same thing here a little bit you're going to be over there a little bit listen Joe Rogan if you're watching same thing I said to Lil Dicky if you don't put me on the podcast what I'm going to do is I'm going to dress up as an elk one day

and I'm going to prance around the woods and you're going to shoot me with a bow and arrow you're going to come over to me and you're going to think that I'm an elk you're going to think you're going to have dinner for the fucking winter and what I'm going to do is I'm going to fucking grab a bite of cock and I'm going to milk it until you get me on the show is that what it is? is he okay with stuff like that or he can't say stuff like that with them? yeah he'll never see this And what I'm going to do is I'm going to fucking grab a bite of cock, and I'm going to milk it until you get me on the show. Is that what it is?

Is he okay with stuff like that, or he can't say stuff like that with them? Yeah, he'll never see this. In here, we pour whiskey. Fellas, life is demanding, and, you know, you want to work hard and play hard, like they say. So to do that, you've got to be comfortable in the clothes that you're wearing. Be comfortable on the outside and comfortable on the inside. Cuts Clothing. I love Cuts Clothing. They sent me a bunch of stuff, I loved it. From t-shirts to polos, hoodies,

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the only shirt worth wearing. Ginger. I like gingers. Now imagine the one episode he watches. Joe never would watch this show. He was about to book me, and now you're out of here. He calls me.

He's like, Santino, I have to talk to you about something. Yeah, yeah. What? That Chrissy Deak could say he's going to milk me? Is that what he said? And I said, well, let's fly down there. Let's see him try it. Let's do it.

Honestly. Everybody's moving to Austin. Yeah's see him try it. Let's do it. Honestly. Everybody's moving to Austin. Yeah. But you're not going to go. In the words of the great Bill Burr, he goes, there's only one dude down there with $100 million. And I was like, that's such a Burr statement. Yeah, he goes, what are these people doing? There's only fucking one dude down there with $100 million.

I said, yeah, no. Look, for some people, it's finding what they need. Some people need it, right? I get it. I said this over the phone to somebody, and I can't drop... I can't say who some of the people are moving down there, because it's not my business to tell. Who are you on the phone with?

Huh? You said you were on the phone with somebody? Yeah. It's not my business to say who's moving down there. Donald Trump Jr. Well, Eric. Eric. Sorry.

And he goes, are you moving? I can't. People say I look like Eric Trump. You do kind of. You do, dude. Dude. Sorry. And he goes, are you moving it? I can't. People say I look like Eric Trump. You do kind of. You do, dude. Dude, I'm fucking hammered. You're Derek Trump. You're Derek Trump.

I'm going to drive my fucking Nissan right into a pole. This is the only V12 Nissan I've ever seen in my life. Yo, I pulled up with a fucking Nissan. It's got nine rows of seats. It's triple decker. He sat on the roof. I mean, I said, literally. You hit three curbs on the way in.

I fucking came. I went to the Hertz Rent-A-Center, literally. You hit three curbs on the way in. I fucking came. I went to the Hertz Rent-A-Center, and I was like, and they were like, what kind of car do you need? I was like, I got all the Puerto Ricans. They were like, you need a Nissan. You got to have a Nissan. You got to have a Ford. What is it called?

What is that? I've never seen that before. It's not a Nissan. It's a Nissan. It's whatever the biggest Nissan there is. It's like a Nissan SUV. It's a border jump. Nissan border jumper?

It's a Nissan border jump. Yeah. Yeah. Hit the wall with ease. No, but Austin, all these guys are going down to Austin and I'm happy for some,

you know, my, our boy Fahim Anwar is going back and forth and he's spending some time. He loves it down there. Right. Shout out Fahim Anwar. He's the fucking best.

One of the funniest dude that's ever, ever lived. Yes. And he's going down there. And he's a Sandy. Is he? He's a Sandy. Fahim is down there. Can we say that? He can't say that. You can. I'm kidding around. Yeah, I know, baby. He's a San... Fahim is down there.

Can we say that? He can't say that. You can. I'm kidding around. Yeah, I know, baby. He's Persian. He's fucking... You don't even know what he is.

He's Persian. He's a cinnamon. He's a cinnamon god. He's a cinnamon. He's a cinnamon god. He's a cinnamon. He's a cinnamon. No, he's a good kid.

I love Fahim. And he's down there. He's writing. He's going back and forth. And we were talking, and I said, you know what I don't like about this conversation about when people talk about Austin? And they yeah fuck la and i'm like la gave me literally everything yes look i'm being serious look dude i moved here with no money i was broke as fuck dude i was poor i moved here with no help my mommy and daddy were even with your girl yet

when you no no not when i moved here no no so yeah yeah no i was i when i first moved here i was just broke i I had no help. You know, my parents were like, good luck and I hope you make it. But like, they weren't about to fucking float my life for 10 years to figure it out in LA like so many of these kids do. And, and, and dude, honestly, this gave me podcasting, which has been my life. I mean, like I've fallen so much in love with this. Television, stand up.

Like. Yeah. You didn't have a career when you came out here but I had nothing not a career dude I had nothing now we're doing

fucking arena tours now we're doing arenas and honestly so not fuck LA fuck no like yeah fuck LA for sure

in certain ways that it sucks fuck the state income tax but also it's one of those things when people say that like yeah what are you doing in LA

I'm like it's giving me everything I don't know what do you mean I have you know i you know me me and and noodles do a podcast every week that's like it's like the most fun thing i've ever done in my life this you know so yeah dude so i'm i get why people are going but i don't like when they're like la's what's there you're like what's here what are you talking about well those are people like listen the really successful people that say that maybe la they've just gotten all they can out of it.

Yeah, Joe can say that. Sure. Yeah, because he did it. Yeah, Joe, again, I've never met him. Obviously, you know, everybody knows Joe Rogan. And you want to fight him. By the way, if everybody, tag Joe Rogan and say that Chrissy D wants to fight him, because this is honest.

Chris thinks he can go toe-to-toe with Joe. Absolutely. Bare knuckle. Bare knuckle. Bare knuckle. BNB, baby. Bare knuckle boxing. BNB, and we'll go

And like you know Whatever Logan Paul does On the same card Logan Paul vs Mayweather Me vs Joe What do you think? Honestly

I would pay so much Fucking money to see that Dude could you imagine Logan Paul vs Mayweather You vs Mayweather Honestly crying So much crying

Could you imagine Like he breaks all Like every bone in my body Like He would disqualify him Immediately One punch He would disqualify him immediately. One punch, he would put you in a coma. And he puts me on the pod the next week,

and I'm in a full body cast like that. You're like, great beer, Chrissy K.O. That's all my joke, yeah. Your arms aren't working. They wheel you in. You're like, it's Chrissy K.O. You're drinking through a straw. All right, well, Chrissy Comedy Podcast.

No, honestly, he would have, that to me would be, that's something I'd pay for. Yeah. When they talk about stunt fights, I'd pay for that. Is that Logan Paul kid going to fight him for real?

I did Logan Paul's podcast yesterday. He was in the, he was training in his ring at the place where he does his podcast and he's fucking, Logan Paul's a good fighter, man.

Is he going to really fight Mayweather, though? I don't know if that's for real or not. Mayweather doesn't want that fight. But I thought, is it official or is it, because he was training for a fight yesterday, Logan Paul. Yeah, but I'm sure he's got something else

lined up, too. Yeah, I don't know. I went to the McGregor-Mayweather fight in Vegas. Showtime shipped us out there. How was it? How was it watching? You know what's so funny? The fight was bullshit,

but everybody knew it was bullshit. But McGregor held his own, right, kind of? Yeah, kind of. Floyd Mayweather was dancing around having a good time. You could feel, it's like,

you know what this feels like? It's like, you know when Michael Jordan does like with a camp counselor at somewhere and they got it on tape and he's like, you know,

like looking back, like, okay, you know what I mean? It felt like that a little bit, like Floyd was tempering this whole thing. You know what I mean? Like he was like, they were both really fighting. It wasn't that a little bit. Floyd was tempering this whole thing. You know what I mean? They were both really fighting.

It wasn't like a show. But you could tell Floyd was like, oh, dude, if I really wanted to turn up the jets, it could be over. I could kill you. The experience was better than anything else. Showtime gave us floor tickets, man. I was sitting with the cast of I'm Dying Up Here

when we were doing the show, and they gave us floor tickets. And, dude, I mean, that alone, the experience was bonkers. But that's LA gave you that. TV gave you that. 100%. I couldn't have done that without that. See, that's what I'm saying.

So when the people say forget about LA, forget about TV, I understand how big the podcasting game is and how the internet is, and neither one of us want to sacrifice that. No. We're both putting all our – I'll do this before I do anything else. You just did a TV show, filmed a TV show all day, and came here to do the podcast.

Because I want to do this so bad. Exactly. You know, I said to the AD, I go, when can we get out? Because I have this thing I want to do really bad tonight. He goes, what are you doing? I was like, it's just a thing. Because this is the stuff we look forward to. This is what it is.

So that's the thing I think sometimes is a misconception. It's like, at least guys like us, I'm not choosing TV over it. Podcasting and the internet is the way, and I love doing it. But there is still a place for TV. There's still a lot of money in it. There's still people who want to invest in TV. And like you said, those opportunities, floor seats to the McGregor fight, wouldn't happen from a Bobby Lee.

He's not giving you that. He did give me. He did one of the best sumo wrestling matches I've ever seen in my life. We got floor seats down there just because of him. They all know him. Everybody knows Bobby. They all know Bobby. Bobby. They all know Bobby. They all know

Bobby Lee. He is worldwide known, that guy. It's unbelievable. He's going to Hungary to do a movie. He's in Budapest. Bobby's going to Budapest. When? For a month. May, I think. I'll be your co-host on Bad Friends. Maybe you just have to co-host that. Could you imagine I'd be the...

What is the plan for Bad Friends, though? When he goes to Buda? We're going to do a bunch of episodes before he goes, and we're going to figure out all the timing of everything. That's what Sal Vulcano and I did from the Hey Babe. Shout out to Hey Babe, by the way, on the No Crush Network. You and Sal together, man, it's so fun. And honestly, could he grow his hair out more? This guy, it's unbelievable.

His hair, it's fully going to be down to the middle of his back. Beautiful little Adonis he is. And you know what we do on that show? A lot of people don't notice, or maybe some people do. Some people on the internet have called me F-A-N-T-T. What do they say? They call me. A fagio.

They call us, they call us a fagiolis. A fagio. Because they say that we do a squeak, because we do a clean podcast. And we do, but we don't do it for any other reason. People are like, oh, you're corporate. You sold out. You do it at Clean Podcast. No, like, oh, you're corporate. You're sold out. You're doing a clean podcast. No, no, no, no, no.

We do the clean podcast because it's a challenge. We said, what if we tried to do something, because everybody's wanting to do something different. I'm like, what if we try to be clean? It's so hard to be clean. What if we try to do clean but also be funny, and it ain't easy? Listen, it's not easy.

We fucking try, try, try, and I'll tell you what. Not only is it so far, so far, so good it's working, I think it's making both of us better comedians because we're trying to be in that clean lane. But again, I still go dirty and filthy and fucking stick the mic up my ass. But that specific hour, once a week for an hour, I'm like, let me try to be clean. It's like an exercise. It's a good comedic exercise. It's a good comedic exercise.

And we love it. And guess what? I didn't realize. There's a lot of clean – there's a lot of ad companies that they only want to give the money to the clean shows. So even though if the shows have a little bit less views than somebody else, because it's squeaky clean, the money goes fucking way up. And Chrissy D likes the money. I like the money because I got to buy more Bitcoin. Sorry, I'm a little fucks in.

You sound like an autistic kid. Bitcoin. By the way, we were driving back from Palm Springs the other day and that song came on the radio that you ain't seen

nothing yet by Bachman Turner by BTO baby you just ain't seen nothing yet do you know why he did that by the way no

the stuttering is he a re? no this is an insane this is a story I had to look up because I didn't believe that it was true. People at home can see this.

Every time you hear that, you're like, oh, that's a catchy little... Baby, you just ain't seen nothing yet. And I thought, oh, that's kind of funny. The reason he did that, I thought it was a creative choice. It's not. It's a shot at his brother.

Brother, brother, brother. Who's got a stutter? Yes. That's hilarious. Here's the even better part. It's because... And I'm going to get this mixed up, so you have to look it up online but the root of it is correct him and his brother or whatever brother whoever it was got into an argument about whether or not that song was good baby you ain't seen ya whatever song no not that song whatever song they were writing at the time

and and the guy was like it's trash like and and by the way pack it up like the band isn't gonna click like this ain't it yeah i get it and so he way pack it up like the band isn't gonna click like this ain't it yeah i get it and so he wrote that song baby you ain't seen nothing yet in response to him saying like you know go fuck yourself and sure enough when they went to record he thought i want to add a little sugar to this yeah so that was a direct shot at ed wow i can't remember his brother or family member that was like the him going baby baby you ain ain't seen nothing yet. Because the kid had a stutter. Oh, dick. And it made it.

It became one of the biggest songs of all time. That's like, you know that song, Come On, Feel the Noise by Quiet Riot? Yeah. You know that, come on, feel the noise. Girl, rock your head. Bring it, rap. Yeah. That song, the lead singer, I forgot his name, didn't want to, because that's a cover song

from a band called Slade or something like that. Yeah. But they didn't want to cover that song. And whatever record company was like, you need to cover the song like we paid for the rights. And so the lead singer was like, you know what? Fine. He's like, we'll cover the song, but we're going to sing it all off note and botch it. And they

did the version and it became number one. And now they have to do it everywhere. Still when they perform to the singers. Everywhere they go. They did that on purpose. They weren't supposed to sing it like that. When the thing that you like to make fun of

makes you famous. Oh, dude. Speaking of which, I just saw Netflix. Netflix is doing a documentary about Blockbuster video. Oh my God. Hey. Oh, come on. Netflix is doing a documentary about Blockbuster Video. Oh, my God. Hey. Oh, come on.

Yeah. They put him out of business. Some guy tweeted, imagine murdering a motherfucker in the streets and then speaking at his funeral and doing a docuseries about how you murdered that motherfucker. Dude, that's so mean. Dude, that's like. We killed you.

Here's how I killed you. Dude, that's like, that's like, we killed you. Here's how I killed you. Dude, this, that's like fucking, Giannis told me, you know, great Giannis Pappas, he got shot in his early 20s. He got shot.

Yes. And the guy who shot him did 12 years in prison and then came out and started doing a one-man show about when he shot him. Yeah, and he's like, sent him tickets

to the show. Go to right here. There's a link, ishotyon.com, right down below, ishotyon. Dude, and when he told me that, I was dying right here. There's a link. iShotYan.com right down below. Dude, when he told me that, I was dying laughing. Because it's hysterical. I was like, dude, you should go to the show.

He was like, no, I can't go to the show. You have to go to that show. The guy who shoots you put on a show? Go! Out of respect. I was like, dude, that's so funny. You lived. Because he probably, you know, and I'm sure the show sucked. I mean, this guy was fucking doing it in prison. How amazing it would be if he got a Netflix special before Yanni did for doing a warm-end show.

About shooting him. Netflix presents. Yeah, that's just... Dude, that's... It was April 12th. Wait, wait, he got shot. Where was it again? Yanni got shot in the leg.

It's a leg? I thought it was the hip. I think it's a leg, but it came out through... He's told the story. I'm not telling any personal info. He's told story before yeah it like came out i think by like his butt or something like that came out his hip or something i thought it was in his hip yeah he got a fucking shot man that's real shit dude yeah and it was all over nothing by the way over money over some money you know it's from a club or something like that and then i think the guy

who owned the club i forgot his name but he's going to go to jail now because he got caught sniffing panties and busting into girls' hotel rooms. This is like a year ago. Who are these guys? Yeah, they're weird. Who are these guys that are breaking into hotel rooms, sniffing panties? You could just go. Why? Why would you do that?

Yeah, I don't understand. By the way, you really want it that bad, you could probably buy it off the internet. They sell that weird shit in Japan. In Japan, you can buy used panties on there. Really? Yeah, you can buy used panties on vending machines. Japanese people are beautiful people. Yeah, they're gorgeous.

They're very different looking. The men are just as delicious as the women. Yes. Speaking of Netflix, I just watched it. I love history. It's called The Age of the Samurai. It's on Netflix right now. It's about the history of Japan.

A lot of people don't know the history of Japan. Dude, Japan, you know how the United States had a civil war for four years? No. Japan had a civil war for 150 years. Is it over? No, it's still, well, kind of. In a way, it's still happening unified Like the unification of Japan dude 150 fucking years

We only had four years And only two of them counted And only two of them counted The rest of the time they were singing songs Yeah and unfortunately we lost but you know Yeah you're so good I love you so much God I love seeing you. I love you so much. I love you, baby.

God, I love seeing you. I fucking love you, dude. The reinvigoration of comedy in my heart and my soul. It's been so blank. It's been so hard. Yeah, because you've got a lot of fucking people out here that they're just... Well, there's no... Comedy shows are kind of starting to pop back up.

Right. You're barely seeing anybody anymore. Barely seeing anybody, yeah. We see people and it's on the go. Yeah. It's like, oh, I gotta go. Yeah. I'm doing a show actually next week at a Whitley put together by Brian Monarch.

So shout out. Go check it out. You guys in town? Go check it out. I'm not kidding. I'm kidding. I'm doing whatever show you want to do. I'm doing a show with you.

You're going to do all the shows with me. I'm going to do the show. You're coming along for the ride with me. Coming along for the ride with you. Remember we did last time we did the show, there's a fucking Irish kid. What was that Irish kid show? Yeah, Mark. Let's do that kid show. That's on the ride with you. Remember last time we did the show, there was a fucking Irish kid. What was that Irish kid show? Mark. Yeah, Mark. Let's do that kid show.

That's the show everybody got COVID. Jim Jefferies was there having a couple of sody pops. Having a couple of sodish. You know, I know when Jim's had a couple of drinks whenever there's a photographer like Liz who's there

who takes great photos. Yeah, shout out Liz. She's the shit. And I know when Jim's had a couple of drinks, he's like, let's do a photo. Come on, let's photo.

He wants tons of photos. He loves pictures when he's drunk. Dude, he got so close to me. I remember, and this was like September when COVID crazy. He kissed your nose. Dude, he was kissing my nose. He was spitting in my mouth.

I was like, oh, whatever, dude. Jim Jefferies, yeah. Do you spit in Jazz's mouth? No, I would love to, but- Would she spit in your mouth? Would you let her spit in your mouth? Yeah, no, I'd let her spit. Yeah, I'd let her spit in my mouth, whatever she wants to do.

What if she said she wanted to punch you? Would you let her punch you? I mean, she punches me when I don't give her my phone and stuff. No, but in a sexual spit. Yeah, I'd let her spit in my mouth. Whatever she wants to do. What if she said she wanted to punch you? Would you let her punch you? I mean, she punches me like, you know, when I don't give her my phone and stuff. No, but I mean in a sexual way. Oh, in bed. Yeah, I'd let her punch me. You would? First girl.

When I lost my virginity. She looks like she could fuck you up, though. I'm not making a joke. She looks like she could hit very hard. Dude, and she's lefty. So she comes at you with a fucking different angle. Oh, God. Psych out?

Yeah. She fakes right. So you duck left. Ooh, and you go right into the fist. Dude, that's why sometimes if a girl messages me a provocative thing and I don't respond and they message another provocative thing and I don't respond

a girl wrote once oh you're making me feel so bad you're making me feel like this is so bad I feel like I'm showing you my tits and you don't care this is not about me I'm protecting you because the worst the last thing't care. And I wrote back, this is not about me. I'm protecting you. Because the worst, the last thing you want to happen is Jasmine to see this. And then you're fucked.

Then you're fucked. She will follow you home. She knows your license plate already. So that's what I do. I would let Jasmine punch me. I'm very open in bed. The only thing I don't do, and I've never done, is I don't do butt stuff.

I've never had anal sex and I've never received anal sex. You've never had it? Never had it. I've never stuck my pee-pee in a bung. Three. Three bungs? Bum, bum, bum. Yeah. What does it feel like? That's where Whitney got that bop, bop, bop. Bap, bap, bap. She's counting off how many people have had butt stuff. What is it? I know, I was almost going to wear the bop, bop, bop shirt. She gave me some merch today.

Bap, bap, bap. She's got nice merch. Throw it away. But who's the best merch? Killer merch with Vinny. With Vinny. Yeah. What does it feel like? Yeah, what does it feel like doing in the butt? Type?

It hurts at first. Her or you? Oh, okay. Oh, I don't know. Okay, well. Oh, you say because you received. Bap bap bap. What does it feel like?

You put it in a lady's butt before. I put it in a tush. Yeah. Shout out Tushy. Shout out Tushy. Tushy.com. Use whiskey? What is it You put in a lady's butt before I put in a tush Yeah Shout out Tushy Shout out Tushy Tushy.com Use whiskey What does it feel

Honestly It feels It You know what's so fucked up about it This is me being like A sensitive guy about it I know it's I know it hurts

Her Yeah Like you know it hurts Unless they've done it a bunch before And the few times Then that hurts you. Right. And then you're just like, oh.

Because you can hear it. It's like hitting a triangle. Like, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum. You play Operation with the Sides. Yeah. When it's new and it was new two out of the three times, you could tell it was extremely uncomfortable and painful. And you're like, this isn't fun.

There's no way it's fun. Yeah, I would not get pleasure if the woman wasn't They have to be very warmed up for it. It has to be something they've experienced in some regard with toys and all that stuff. Otherwise, it's a nightmare. The one person that had it already before, it almost was

embarrassing because I wasn't much. One time I was getting a beach and the girl put her fingers in my butt and that felt good. A little tickle of the tushy is fine A little tickle of the tushy is fine. A tickle of the tushy is fine. I don't know if I want... The problem is, I'd rather do that

than have someone else do it because I'm embarrassed about Area 51. I don't want someone in my no-fly zone. Get out of here. It's brutal. What's weird is there's a new generation of women online. that's all they talk about is being like men need to be more comfortable with that stuff you're like well they want it in the butt i i just don't having sex you know my girl's pregnant now having sex with a pregnant woman is tough too because

the belly and it's fun because i like side sex it's no i like her to be no if we're gonna do it i like want her to be in front of me because I like fat chicks. I'm into fat women. Is she on top? She's on top. And she's not fat, but with the belly, it turns me on. Because it makes me think about my dad. Yeah, my dad's got a nice beard, guys. Wait, could you imagine...

Does she ever want to have sex because she's pregnant? Is she horny pregnant or is she annoyed? Annoyed, but if there's a spurt, like what I've noticed about it is like once a week there'll be like 10 minutes where she'll be like, you need to come in the bathroom and lock the door behind you. Like, we need to do this now. Like, I need to have sex.

She gets like a juice of... Like a shot of horniness. Like, we need to have sex right now. Did she tell you what triggers it? No, I don't think so. I wonder what it is. There's got to be something. There's a thing like

when you get super horny, what's the thing that triggers it for you? Because guys have the too where you're like, no, I want to have sex with you. There has to be,

there's a trigger, you know? Yeah, for me, I'm trying to think of what really gets me fucking horned up. I guess for me,

like anytime, like I like older Latino women, so if I see like a Latino woman in like her 40s or 50s, I get horned anytime like I like older Latino women so if I see like a Latino woman in like her 40s or 50s I get horned up I like

I like an older like an abuela you like like a grandma yes that's what I like so what I've been doing yeah so what I'll do is I'll go to like

where they're doing the because you know New York same rules as here I'll go like they're like Latino communities I'll go and I'll go to where they're giving the vaccines

because it's a lot of 65 and overs and I'll fucking go over there and I'll get horned up and I'll go and I'll go to where they're giving the vaccines because it's a lot of 65 and overs. And I'll fucking go over there and I'll get horned up and I'll go have sex. Yeah. You get a vaccine? Yeah, 65. Has Latino always been the one for you?

Yes. Always? Always. Always. Latinos from day one. I like Latinos. I like Latino women. I like black women.

Italian women because they skirt on that line, right? Yes, because they look. Italian women kind of look like they might be Latin a little bit sometimes. Yes. I like black women. Italian women because they skirt on that line, right? Yes, because they look – Italian women kind of look like they might be Latin a little bit sometimes. Yes. I like – Never a blonde, by the way, for you. Very little. Almost never. Not that I dislike them, but almost never.

I like – in this order, I like Puerto Rican one, black two, Filipino or some type of freaky deaky Asian three. Thai. Thai. I like that. Three. And then I like Italians. Thai. Thai. I like that. Three. And then I like Italians. Four. And then I like Hungarians.

Five. Ooh. Yeah. Hungries. Hungries. Why Hungries? I don't know. Something about Eastern European.

Something about Eastern European. I think Eastern European women, I mean, beautiful. Beautiful. The guys are tough. The girls are beautiful. What a combination. The guys are awful looking the girls are beautiful. What a combination. The guys are awful looking. They're not good looking. Brutal. But the women are gorgeous.

Brutal. I found that something. You know what that is? That's Canada. The whole country of Canada. Every time I go up there, I say that to them, and they think I'm joking. I'm being a smartass. The women, and I'm not placating. The women up there in Canada are gorgeous. Gorgeous women. But the men are hideous. Hideous guys. They got no good looking guys up there. No, hideous guys.

I like- So many Canadian guys in the fucking comments. I'll fuck you up, eh? You don't fucking talk to me like that, bud. Listen, bud. Listen, bud. Listen here, pal. No, you don't say that, bud.

No, dude. The guys there are just- Roots. The guys there are force. Force. And so many of the women there are beautiful. Every time I go, look at this beautiful- Go to fucking Vancouver and Toronto.

Every time I go, I'm always like, who are all these beautiful women? Dude, have you ever... What about like a Scandinavian woman? Oh, come on. Skittish. I polish your shoes. You know there's like a Miss Farfetch'd Nugent? Do you know there's like a misconception about Vikings?

Like Viking people... Tell me about Vikings. I don't know anything about them. People think like Vikings are like, you know, you look and... Rape and pillage. Yeah, and pillage. And that stuff probably happened. Definitely.

But it happens in every, but you look through history. It's like the most people that kill people are the people that look like each other. 100%. The people that look like each other. So it's like, that's just true for any race, religion, culture, creed. You can blame it on this group or that group, whatever you want. People who look like each other kill each other the most. That's just what it is.

It happens. It's just what it is. It happens. It's just what it is. But the Vikings, coming up in the Scandinavia area, they had one of the most progressive societies. They were the cleanest. They used to cut their hair. They had a full society.

They were the first ones to attempt biological warfare in the 13-1400s. By what? Dude, so they would be on a ship going to rape and pillage like the next country over and the rats who would get like infected with like viruses and diseases, they would wait till they're getting close to the castle and they would light their tails on

fire and shoot the rats over the wall and let them go and bite stuff and infect the food and then wait three weeks while they were laying siege because they knew that they were basically poisoning the community. Everybody gets sick and die and they'd go in and beat like a sickened army because they were laying siege because they knew that they were basically poisoning the community. Everybody gets sick and die and they go in and beat like a sickened army because they were getting

eaten by fucking virus rats. No rules of war, baby. They were the first Chinese. By the way, how do they have maps of the islands? I know. I want to know the map guy.

It's like, we've raped these islands. We must pillage these islands. How do they know where to go? Because honestly, I thought about this the other day. Discovering new lands is such a crazy thing to me

that people just set out on a fucking boat and we're just like, I guess we'll just figure it out. And on the way from back from Palm Springs, right where the, there's a lift that takes you

up to the top of the mountain there. You know, have you ever been up there? Never been there, Palm Springs. Should I go with the fam? Honestly, yes. Honestly, you should. And by the way, we went gambling and the old bag won 500 bucks wow she's never played blackjack before and she won wow never and i taught her every time i was a hit

hit on that stay on that and she won 500 500 yes and then i lit it on fire but on the way back you can see they had a big sign like just like hollywood uh the hollywood sign the same letters it said indian land i'm not kidding still to this day it's still there no no no this is a new thing indian land it's like the hollywood letters and they put it up there for some kind of promotional thing that they were doing and it made me think it is crazy because you know we say indians because they thought they were fucking in india you know that right yes yes yeah they called native americans indians because they were like they thought they were going to fucking see India. So the fact that they still say it is even weird to

me. That I'm like, don't they fucking, aren't they like, bitch, I'm not Indian. I know. What the fuck is that? I know. I love too like, you know. It is weird. It is the history of that strange. Even, even, even, you know. Setting out on a boat to find a new spot. Would you ever? No.

If somebody told you to drive the nissan triple decker as far north up the street as you could go you wouldn't even do that no way i'd do that unless there's an in-and-out burger and there is two up the street no dude i would no i that's the thing i have no motivation to like but i think back then people lived in history back then it's like they had you only knew the people in your village so it's like you had no so you just would like oh how can i get over those mounts because because nobody went over those mounds now we've seen the world we've seen everything so it's like it's just like we don't really have like a desire to like go explore and do that but they did because nobody had ever seen it before now it's like there's not

one piece of land that hasn't been conquered already yeah and also you died at 35 so yeah by 20 you were like well i got dude that's basically saying like when you get to 70 you're like how much time you got left you're like i might as well knock it all out right now yeah i'm like and also dude if not only that if you and i were alive if we were 35 36 37 years old back then we would be like looked at as like pussies like why aren't you killed in war like you fucking they would they would literally the older you got the more cowardly you were we were bathing the men when they got back. That's what it is.

You and I were the bathers. The men would come back from war and I'd go, sit down, boys. You tired? Yeah. And Chrissy would come and you'd rub their feet. I'd rub their feet and say, can I get you a pop? And I would wash off their back with a warm cloth and you'd go, it's not warm enough. And I'd go, I'm sorry.

And I'd run back and I'd put it over the fire and warm up the rag. That's what it is. Right? And you'd be rubbing the feet and you'd go, not doing it right when he'd spit on you yeah and you'd say i'm sorry and i'd say i'm sorry sorry sir and he says lick my toes yeah i'd fucking lick them that's what i do i'd lick them i'd start i'd do whatever they want i'd do whatever they need yeah dude but the thing is too like and even then back then like you know like with um you know with with the vikings they allegedly they invented shitting on the chest.

The shitting on the chest was a thing that the... What is it called? Schweifenhiking. Schweifenfilms. Schweifenfilms. They were the Viking chiefs. Scheisse films. Scheisse films.

What they would do is if they would come and rape and pillage your land, they would take the conquering head Viking, would go to the other one, the one that they just conquered, and they'd sit you down in front of your wife and children, and they'd shit on your chest to say, I'm the dominant one. I just shit on your chest. And your kid's got to see dad get pooped on? The kid's got to see that.

And that's the thing, too. People want to yell. What if you're constipated and you can't shit on? That would be funny. He's just like, I got nothing. One minute. One more minute. Oh, he's just farting on your chest. He's like, ah! He's just laying there like, please, sir, just

finish. Or you do it. You just hit him with a bunch of rabbit poop, just pellets on the chest. I'm more embarrassed. Shit on his chest! I'm like, I don't really want to. I don't think I'd say, do it! Do it! Okay, he just purr. He's rolling off. You're like, i've been eating a lot of yogurt you guys call it skier um he's like this isn't that bad but dude even fucking you know people want to yell at the

whites were wild dude but i get i get the whites i get that we had we were problematic throughout history but dude i mean not us i didn't i wasn't i. Fuck me. But if you look at other cultures, man, I mean, what the Japanese did to the Chinese, what the fucking Native Americans used to do to other Native Americans. I've said this before. It's brutal. The whole world is racist.

We just showed it better than anybody. We were the best at showing it. We were the best. Sorry. Number one. We showed it better than anybody else. Yeah, we're great. But the rest of the world is still so racist.

You go anywhere, they're so racist. Dude, still... The world is racist. Still in Europe. I love how people are like, America still so racist. You go anywhere, they're so racist. The world is racist. Still in Europe. I love how people are like, America is so racist. In Europe in 2019,

black players would score goals in certain countries and they'd throw bananas on the field. But we're the worst. But we're the worst. I don't understand. Are you fucking kidding me?

I don't understand. That kind of stuff is crazy. Could you imagine if someone did that in the NBA? It would not just make headlines. It would shut down the game. It would be a new level of ostentatiousness. It'd be absurd.

But over there, they think that's a part of like, well, that's that small little English town. I don't know if people do that. We've had fucking a black president twice. Two times. Two times. Barack Obama. Donald Trump.

Donald J. Trump, baby. Two black presidents. Back to back blacks. Yeah. You know what's so funny? That motherfucker's so disillusioned, he could convince you he was black. A hundred percent, baby. Two black presidents. Back to back blacks. Yeah. You know what's so funny? That motherfucker's so disillusioned, he could convince you he was black. A hundred percent, dude. He took a test.

It came back. Fourteen percent. You could look at that. He would convince himself that he's black. He was so good at convincing himself of things that he would actually convince other people of shit. Yeah. That's how fucking good that guy was at being a master manipulator, man.

T.T. Jerry told me on the podcast that most people in prison voted for Donald Trump and they liked Donald Trump. They were like, yeah, because he speaks the truth. They also are concerned. They want pardoning and they know he can pardon. He can pardon them. Pardoning is a weird thing. I can't wrap my head around pardoning.

Presidents can do that. They're allowed to say you're good. That's it, dude. You're good. They pardoned Lil Wayne. They pardoned Weezy. Woody Allen just got pardoned. Yes. Yes. Yeah, Lil Wayne.

No, Lil Wayne? Oh, Lil Wayne already got out. No, no, he didn't get pardoned. Who, who, I don't, hold on. Somebody big got pardoned. Yeah. But Joe Exotic had a limo outside and thought he was going to get pardoned. He did.

He had a tour bus. He got denied. Who did Donald Trump pardon? Who's texting me? Who did Donald Trump pardon? Who's texting me? Who did Donald Trump pardon? Okay, so Donald Trump pardoned Rodney Masaru Takumi, Michael Anthony Tedesco, Chandler Lee Williams, and Zay Jeffries.

40 more rows. Wow. He was pardoning everybody. The 125 years, the key advisor to the president on clemency. Yeah, Clemency Act. Dude, imagine he started pardoning everybody. The 125 years, the key advisor to the president on clemency. Yeah, Clemency Act. Dude, imagine he started pardoning people like Charles Manson. Imagine he just went crazy. Let him out.

He pardoned the son of Sam. New York. So here are some of the people Trump pardoned. Some of the pardons. We're going through this even though this is in the past. Bannon got a pardonette, big piece of shit. Elliot Broidy, Anthony Lewandowski, Kwame Kilpatrick,

Robert Hayes, Rick Renzi, and Randall Cunningham. The quarterback? Lil Wayne. Lil Wheezy did get pardoned. Lil Wheezy did get pardoned. Lil Wheezy.

Kodak Black. That was a big one. Kodak Black. Kodak Black got pardoned. It's so funny. He's pardoned the referee. It's so funny, dude. Yeah.

You have to admit that he was funny. If you hated him, it's fine. I say that on stage. You have to admit that if you pardoned Kodak Black as fine. I say that on stage. You have to admit that. If you pardon Kodak Black as the president of the United States, you're a funny fucking guy.

He's a racist. You're like, well, he likes Kodak Black. He loves Kodak Black. His music is great. I like him. I like him. He lets me say the N-word around him. You guys can't say it.

I can say it. I can say it. I pardoned him. He pardoned my N-word. I said it to him. I said, what's up, Kodak Black? My N. He said, you're good said what's up Kodak Black my N he said you're good

you got me I got you dude did you hear see his speech a couple of weeks ago he literally ended it by he said if he comes back

at 2024 because this is the thing like he knew he was going to unite people and rile them up and people go crazy he goes and the last thing

I want to say is like at 2024 I'm coming back and our slogan is going to be cancel cancel culture people like lose their minds. Like they're resuming.

It's so funny, dude. They're resuming it on people's face like these fat white kids. Isn't it incredible you can't get rid of that guy? He's a cockroach. He's impervious. Because cancel, cancel culture, like even people that hate him would be like, yeah, I don't like cancel culture. Like he just fucking knows what to do, man.

He really is good about it. By the way way i've met these people in my life before where they're so not dumb but they're so um blissful in their own shit in ignorance that it's almost genius like that where he's so happy with the chaos that exists in his mind that it works so well and you're like yeah maybe this is like a a a a different level of thinking and he's so disillusioned with the chaos, and it works over and over and over. And he also did that thing, we spoke about this on History of Ahina's episode, about how he says so many things that are inappropriate

and so many wild things every day. Can't trace it. That you don't know which one to get mad at, so the news cycle just shifts to the next day, and they're like, ah, the fuck, Trump said a bunch. The beauty of fake news to him was if news cycles are are so constant now that if you say so much stuff is fake news and you keep saying fucked up shit then then nothing is valid nothing it's like when that's why when people like i think it gets washy when like everybody you know says that

they're a victim because they had a bad day it's like well if everybody's a victim then nobody's a victim you know what i mean like if everybody's a victim, then nobody's a victim. You know what I mean? Like, if everybody's in trouble, then nobody's in trouble. Oh, that's kind of funny. Kind of thing where it's like, it goes so to thing where it's like, if, you know, people keep coming out and saying things like this affected me,

like, you have to have, like, proof and you have to say, hey, so-and-so did this to me. Here's the proof. Here's what happened. He said this. He did this. Otherwise, it's becoming disillusioned

with all this constant chaos. Yes, or else people are actually going to get something's going to happen to them and then they're it's going to be like the boy who cried wolf back ah you're fucking one of those he was the boy who cried wolf the trump was the best at that shit though that was the thing is he could keep doing it till the day is done and also by the way you know they're finishing the wall you know they're still finishing it sure so that's a really it was there an endowment fund for the wall yeah they're just gonna keep going like harvard they just keep getting money pouring in. Yeah, what are they doing? You funded

about a mile of the wall, right? Yes. Yes, I did. Yes, I did because I thought it was the right thing to do. Yeah. And now, you know, Biden just came in and said, nope. He said he's just letting I mean, Biden just said, if you're any legal and you have COVID, step right up. By the way, I love the idea that

there's someone who's just hearing us for the first time. I know. They're like, are these guys out of their minds? Are they out of their minds? By the way, Joe Biden is 100% dead. There's no doubt in my mind he's dead. Oh, he died. I think he died.

I think he died six or seven years ago. While he was running. No, while in the middle of him running, there was a moment. Where is that guy? Dude, when he was on Charlemagne, with Charlemagne, he died right in the middle of the interview. He died. I watched him die. He froze up.

And then they weekend at Bernie's him through the rest of the episode. Dude. That was all a great ploy, by the way, to get Kamala Harrison

as president. They were genius for that shit. Yes. They're going to make that guy break a hip. I've said this before. They're going to look

for big stairs and he's going to slip. They're going to go, oh no, Joe. Do you think he's 100% going to die in the next four years? 100%. Yeah. And if he's not, he's not. They're gonna go oh no joe do you think he's 100 gonna die in the next four years 100 yeah that's just good and if he's not he's not they're gonna keep him on some sort of life support or they're gonna make him they're gonna disable him so she has to take over

right they don't want him they didn't want him anyway he was just look they complained forever about how oh we're sick of these old white pieces of shit and then they get an old white idiot in there it's like what are you mad at the And then they get an old white idiot in there. It's like, what are you doing? You're mad at the white guy. You got another idiot white guy in there. So that was a good way for them to trick to get Kamala in there. They just got to find a way to take him out.

They got to give him a little nudge down Air Force One stairs. Yeah, dude. Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba. Yeah, all the way down. Dude, did you see Kyle Dunnigan on Instagram? Did you ever see? I fucking love him.

Dude, do you ever see Kyle Dunnigan, one on Instagram, one of the best accounts, his Joe Biden talking to Ben Shapiro? Yeah. Did you see that one? Yeah, dude. Doing Ben Shapiro, the way he does Ben Shapiro is so good.

So funny. He goes, I am not a transgender. I'm not a transgender. I'm a biologically born male. That's what it should be. Ben Shapiro should interview Miles Leonard. Yes. And they should have a discussion over whether or what it should be. Ben Shapiro should interview Miles Leonard. Yes.

And they should have a discussion over whether or not he should be canceled because Ben Shapiro hates cancel culture. Yes. But he said

an anti-Semitic word. He called it fucking... I would love to see that, actually, and to see what they say. I like Ben Shapiro. I don't mind Ben Shapiro. He's just got that...

I don't mind him. He's so nasally. Yeah, he's nasally. Is he an L.A. guy? You think he's out here? No, he is. He went to school out here. No, he's an L.A. guy. So he does. He's so nasally. Yeah, he's nasally. Is he an L.A. guy? You think he's out here? No, he is. He went to school out here. No, he's an L.A. guy.

So he does his show from L.A.? No, he moved. I think he moved to Austin. Let's get him on the podcast. Come on, Ben. Come on, Benny. Who was your last guest? Who was your guest before this?

Does it matter? I don't know. You're the only one that doesn't matter. Kalilah, Bobby's girl. Oh, Bobby, Kalilah. Great name. My daughter's name's Delilah. Her name's Kalilah. Right, but

yours is more trash. Yes. Yeah. Delilah's more like a... Yes. Clean the pole. You know what I mean? Clean the pole. There's no way your daughter will be a stripper because you go to too many clubs. She can't see daddy. But her mommy has a tattoo on her tit, so that's the thing. Uh-oh. So mommy has a tattoo on her tit. What does the titty say?

It's a butterfly. It's a butterfly over her heart that she got for her mom, but then she went ahead and got fakes, so it moved the butterfly up, and now the butterfly, because of the fakes,

is kind of like smushed up against her skin. The butterfly's wings are like real spread out. It's a caterpillar again. It's a little bit, it turned into a caterpillar. It went back.

There you go. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Honestly, the fakie thing is really weird. I've only had a couple of fakies in my life, and... Your wife doesn't have fakes? No, man. Really? Does she want them? I can get them. Yeah. Honestly, the fakey thing is really weird. I've only had a couple of fakeys in my life.

Your wife doesn't have fakeys? No, man. Really? Does she want them? I can get them. Yeah. We inflate them every morning. I bike pump them.

I pump it up. Nah, dude, no fakeys. You know, honestly, I'm not against them. I've only had girlfriends that have had them a few times, and if they're good, they're great. If they're bad, they're un-fucking-real. There's no middle ground. Yeah, they suck. There's never a middle ground.

You know what I mean? There's never like, they're not bad. No. They're either very good or, wow, those are embarrassing. Bang. And they look bad. What about a girl with a fake butt? You ever have a fake butt?

I've never had a fake butt. Nice. I've seen it, but I don't see it that often. Do you see fake tushies? Well, a friend of mine's wife has a fake has a fake butt and it fucking deflated that you got a bunch of it popped dude she almost died if you if you're but if you're because yeah if it deflates like that dude if you get that stuff that they inflate it's silicone right yeah dude that goes into your skin you'll die like no you get you go into septic shock your

body doesn't know what the fuck that is. It's like poison, poison, poison. What's the other one? Silicone and what's the other one? I think the other one is saline. Saline was the old thing they don't use. Silicone's a nice rock hard. By the way, the name of my car is the Nissan Armada. I remembered it. The Invincible Armada.

Remember the Invincible Armada? They were the best Navy in the world until the fucking boy showed up. Ba-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da- Maybe we can do this every week while you're here. I'm hoping we're not going to promise anybody anything, but I hope we can do Whiskey Ginger every single week while you're here and start a little baby residency. And I told people, the reason that I want to do a residency with someone is, A, I want someone that I'm super familiar with all the time because booking people during roans has been a little unfortunate.

And I said, why don't I just go with someone that we have a relationship with? You gave me corona. You literally passed it on through our mutual friend. I'm the only one who didn't get it. Maybe I'm too gay. No, you know what it is?

You're fucking type O blood and I know it. That's what it is. I gotta get my blood type in. It's fucking annoying. You are. I know. The fact that me and this idiot

sat feet from each other for five days straight and you didn't get it is a testament to either you have super blood because of all the past venereal diseases that have ripped through your body. Ripped through.

Or you're type O. I might be type O. Or you're type O. O-town. O-town. O-town. Yeah, so I'm going to do it every week. And then it'll be cool, too, because we hang during the week and we'll talk about what

our experience is during the week. When do you start shooting, by the way? I start shooting on Monday. You too? I'm off on Monday. Wow too? I'm off on Monday. Wow. Can I come? I can't come.

Yeah, dude. I mean, it's probably the same fucking bullshit COVID rules. I wear a mask and a shield. And you get tested all the time. And you had it already. Dude, I get tested every day for Dave. Every day? We have to get tested every single day.

Do they go up like hardcore in the nose? No, you know, now the PCR tests don't go that high up anymore. They don't have to anymore. But for me, it actually doesn't bother me that much. The only thing that bothers me is forgetting. I forget to do it. So I get up on set, and then I get changed, I'm ready to go back, and they're like, dude, you have to go back to

the testing site. And I'm like, I forgot. What do they have, the rapid ones, 15 minutes? No, no, we do PCRs. We have to do the... So then how long does that take? But what if you got... 12 hours. Well, that's why they make you test every day, even on your day off. Oh, because it's kind of like you're getting the results from the previous day that day and it just keeps going, keeps going, keeps going. Yeah, that's how they have to do it.

Has anyone ever popped yes? We had to shut down three times. Wow. We had to shut down three times, but no one, because they weren't live on set with it. It was because they tested prior to coming to work, and they had it prior to coming to their day of work. Were they sick? Were they actually sick with it?

Well, I don't know any of the people that got it. Oh, they don't disclose that, right? No, well,

no, no, no, you find out through the grapevine, but I didn't have any interaction, we don't, I didn't have any interaction with any of these people.

I kind of think if you get, by the way, production is hundreds of people. Yeah, so it could be anybody, I have no idea. Could be anybody. When do you think that's going to stop?

When is it going to be like, okay, no more testing? I pray to God it's coming around as soon as the summertime please god vax the fucking country so i just don't even have to hear about it no more mask i can go ahead get get all my center council is blue masks yes fucking things are dude and give your kids the vaccine if they get autism they get autism at least i don't have covet right they'll be smarter with autism is

great at least all sorts of artistic endeavors. Yeah. Rick Glassman. Dude, listen, there's a lot of good things that come out of it. Rick Glassman's a fucking... He's a howdy-owdy. Rick Glassman's a Miles Leonard. He's a howdy-owdy. Yeah, he is a Miles Leonard. Baby boy, I want you to come as much as you can. I know we gotta get to

Sleepy Pooh Bear because we have a whole family at the house, and the kiddos are gonna be there, and now we get to hang this and I don't know what they're doing they might be eating the furniture and you know

what they do you know how they are you know how we end this and because we end this with saying one word or one phrase I love that you're going to take us out

every episode and I want you to actually instead of one word or one phrase I actually want you to have a full little baby speech you know like

not something quick say something like you mean it so go ahead whenever you're ready to the camera. OK, I just want to say that I fully support what is going on in this country. country um i think that you know it's one of those things where we've at times been disillusioned at times we've been divided and i think that it is time now for everyone to just join up um with us and what we're doing because we have a positive movement we're trying to bring people together

we are leading with love we We are leading with culture. So if you want to please join me and my friends, the website is right here. It's ProudBoys.com In here, we pour whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey. You're that creature in the ginger beer.

Sturdy and ginger. Like vampires, the ginger gene is a curse. Gingers are beautiful. You owe me $5 for the whiskey and $75 for the horse. Gingers are hell no. This whiskey is excellent. Ginger. I like gingers.