Whiskey Ginger with Andrew Santino - Chris Distefano - The Chrissy D Residency Part 3

Episode Date: March 26, 2021

Santino sits down with WG resident, Chrissy Chaos, Chris Distefano to chat about a fire on the freeway, we protest the national anthem and give props to the production quality on terror group threat videos. ORDER SOME MERCH!!! https://www.andrewsantinostore.com Join our Patreon : https://www.patreon.com/whiskeygingerpodcast SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS! BETTERHELP - You deserve to feel better Get the help you need today from wherever you are http://betterhelp.com/whiskey for 10% OFF your first month SQUARESPACE - Help design your website today with amazing templates and the help of professionals https://squarespace.com/whiskey Use promo code WHISKEY for 10% off LIQUID IV - Stay hydrated all day long https://liquidiv.com/ use code WHISKEY for 25% off !!! RITUAL - Get some good vitamins in your body today Get 10% OFF https://ritual.com/whiskey Follow Santino on Insta and Twitter: https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino/ https://twitter.com/CheetoSantino Whiskey Ginger Insta and Twitter: https://www.instagram.com/whiskeygingerpodcast/ & https://twitter.com/whiskeyginger_ Whiskey Ginger Clips: http://www.youtube.com/c/WhiskeyGingerPodcastClips EDITING AND PRODUCTION DESIGN BY THE AMAZING WHISKEY GINGER TEAM JENNA SUNDE https://www.instagram.com/jenna_sunday/ JOE FARIA https://www.instagram.com/joseph_faria Y&S https://www.instagram.com/youngandsick/ Intro Music by Rocom: https://www.youtube.com/user/RocomTelevision Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What up, Whiskey Ginger fans? Welcome back to the show. It's the continuation of the Chrissy D. Residency. You know my boy Chris DiStefano is in Tantona's thing shouldna show. So he's back here, baby. He's back again. Another fun episode. We go all over the place and get cute and bonkers as usual. Yo, some good news to announce for you guys. I'm back on tour, baby. Go to andrewsantino.com for tickets. I'm all over the place. for you guys. I'm back on tour, baby. Go to andrewsantino.com for tickets. I'm all over the place. Atlantic City just got announced. Boston got announced. Salt Lake City is in three weeks, and Addison, Dallas is in six weeks or whatever, and we're adding dates as we go, and Madison Comedy on State is finally up right now, so we're doing that, too. I'm coming back, baby. I'm so excited. That's five dates or whatever that are on the board. So go to andrewsantino.com to check out those dates for

tickets. If you live in Addison or Dallas or Salt Lake city or Madison, Wisconsin, or Boston or Atlantic city, New Jersey, andrewsantino.com. If you want to know more about what we do extra stuff for this show, patreon.com slash whiskey ginger podcast. That's where I do the solo Cheeto chats. and also we do Zooms for the top tier, one on one shit which is Betty fun, Betty Betty fun, so check all that stuff out

andrewsantino.com is where that is, if you're looking for merch it's right down below, if you're on YouTube in the merch bar click the subscribe button and hit the notification so you know, but you know we post every Friday so if you're looking for tickets, andrewsantino.com, baby, come see me live. I'm excited to get back out on the road. Enough rambling from me. Let's go to the episode. In here, we pour whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey. You're that creature in the ginger field. Sturdy ginger. Like vampires,

ginger beard sturdy ginger like vampires the ginger gene is a curse gingers are pugil you owe me five dollars for the whiskey seventy-five dollars for the horse gingers are hell no this whiskey is excellent ginger i like gingers do i feel comfortable you said i look a little skinnier today you do no you look like in good shape but a little skinnier right not a lot do you feel a little skinnier i feel a little i feel? I feel a little, I still feel a little porky for some reason. But you've been working out and eating right. I'm trying, dude, but it's, you know, it is what it is. You know, I'm trying. You're thin,

you got a thin, slim build. You can't get fat. I can get fat. What are you talking about? Of course I can get fat. I can get fat. You can get, like, fat fat? Not like... No, I'm not gonna say it. I, no, you got a, you got a good build. You got, like, you... Well, I got thick thighs to say it. No, you got a good build. You got like... Well, I got thick thighs.

Daddy's got thick thighs because I run a lot. You got nice, thicky, thickies, dude. Look at my thicky ickies. Look at these thickies. What's the most miles you ever ran consecutively? Push this down because it's covering up your pretty face. It's hard. It's hard.

That's the one you broke. Oh. Yeah, see, you broke it. You're never going to be able to turn that. All right, well... There you go. What's the most miles I ever ran? Yeah go what's the most miles i ever ran yeah uh 12 is the most i've ever ran what like last night i ran six and a half or seven you ran seven miles last night yeah seven miles through the neighborhood to the neighborhood and what do you burn how many

calories does that burn honestly i don't know that's a really good question because i have i have literally no idea you never look never let's wait hold on before i say that ladies and gentlemen welcome back to whiskey ginger my guest today is one of my favorite people i don't know. That's a really good question because I have literally no idea. You never look. Never. Let's wait. Hold on before I say that. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to Whiskey Ginger. My guest today is one of my favorite people. I don't know if I say that for all my guests, but I mean it once again today. It's the residency of Chrissy D. Hey, hey. I never really look. What do I look? How many calories do you, how many calories on average do you burn running a mile? A hundred? Guess. Burn one mile of a hundred. A hundred hundred how'd you know that you a cat okay you approximately 100 calories you burn while running a mile says david geffen school of medicine you at the david geffen school says daniel v virgil vigil yeah right liar bitch

bitch 100 calories so i ran about so 700 calories i guess so that's a lot of cows yeah but the whole thing is like look the whole thing about this this all this running and stuff like that is it hurts my knees a lot right i'm getting older so i can feel it more so i'm like is this even doing anything meanwhile my grandmother's 92 she's never worked out in her life she drinks three manhattans a night and she's probably to live to be 100. But does she have abs? She's jacked. Your grandma's jacked? She benches 225. Wow.

Yeah. She's 5'1". She's 5'1". Mm-hmm. I don't know, maybe 90 pounds. Right. And she benches 225. I saw her.

And she can take a hit. She can, dude. Because she lipped off to me one time. And I smoked her once. All the women, if you've got to understand, if you're a woman in your 90s, you've been punched in the face by a man guaranteed. Guaranteed.

It's a guarantee. It was called the 40s and the 50s. Yeah. In the 60s, they had to stop. The guys had to put the nicks on that. Right. Because by the 60s, there was a lot of social issues that were going on.

So they had to be like, all right, because they'll tell. They'll tell, yeah. They'll snitch. And back in the day, cops, my grandpa was a cop, but he left the family when I was like- Because he had another family. Exactly. No, that's a true story.

I'm dead serious. Everyone from that era had two families. Dude, my grandpa, who I never met in my life, had five kids. Imagine doing that. I could not imagine doing this. Two families. No, no. He had five kids, my mother

being one of them, ages like I think the oldest at the time was my uncle who was 16 and my aunt who was like a baby like an infant just left one day. Never came back, never saw his five children again. Started another family with another woman

from Long Island. That, their children from that marriage, one of them reached out to me on Facebook like two years ago and said, hey, I'm your half uncle. I have a band on Long Island. Do you ever want to open for my band? Yes. Yes.

Of course I do. Dude, but could you imagine? I mean, dude, I could never in a million years imagine walking away from my children. No. This guy walked away from like, I'm not talking about like a no this guy walked away from like i'm not talking about like a baby he walked away from like a 16 year old a 14 year old just my mom said just never came home again that old never go get cigarettes go get milk thing was so real people

just but you were allowed to there was no way to track you no cell phones you could just leave and say something bad happened to you no well and you know he said what what what was interesting is the stigma was i got man napped i got man napped they got they would my mom said they would then like you know like my mom's family my my grandma and my they were all like been made fun of at school people would walk by they'd be walking to church they would call my grandma a whore they're like what'd you do you whore that your husband walked out on you you know i like how it's her fault it no it that's how it was back then well but it's also because you always aired someone's business out in public. Like, it was always like they always...

Well, like, my dad got wasted with his... No, not his... No, my dad got wasted in high school, and he took the family car, and he was driving it drunk, and he flipped it. He put it in a ditch and flipped it over, and he ran all the way to his house, because he grew up in a small town in North Carolina.

And he gets back to the house, and my grandmother doesn't say anything about it. She's pretending to not know. And my brother, and his brother, my uncle, was making him suck on pennies. Do you know about that? Oh, no, suck on actual, like, change? You've never heard of that?

No. Because they say it messes with the breathalyzer. If they make you, if, you know, it changes the chemical composition in your mouth or something like that. If you suck on a breathalyzer and you're not drunk, you'll fail a breathalyzer if they make you if you know if they make they uh it changes the chemical composition in your mouth or something if you suck on a breathalyzer and you're not drunk you'll fail a breathalyzer test with suck on pennies something about pennies copper if you suck on copper it does something to it oh wow i don't even know if they had breathalyzers back then no maybe he just wanted to see his brother suck on pennies no dude you would just that was just a bit if you were just if you were white you didn't go to jail right well i'll do this small town north carolina jail

didn't exist it was barney five back then. You know, it was like Andy Griffith, for real. It was like the oldest the drunk could come and go as he pleased. That's literally what my dad grew up in. Did you ever go back

to your dad's like old, like your dad's North Carolina small town? 100%. Really? Yeah. When they got a McDonald's, it was a big deal.

Wait, listen to this. Wow. This is crazy. So when my dad, my grandmother was fighting off the cops about it. Like they were like,

where's Jeff? You know, we know he flipped the car, dah, dah, dah, dah, the cops about it. They were like, where's Jeff? We know he flipped the car, da-da-da-da, all this stuff. And he was like, she kind of covered up for my old man and helped him out. And then the insurance calls the next day because the cops just let him, they didn't do anything about it. An insurance call and they dropped him. They were like, we know that was him driving that car. The cops didn't get him, but we're not letting him get insured anymore.

It's over. We're dropping you for the insurance. So my grandmother's livid about it. In town after church, she sees him across the street, sees the insurance agent. And she goes, you sure you want to drop us from the insurance?

Because we could just tell everybody how you're whoring around town with Mrs. Buckerly instead of being with your wife at home and your children. And this dude was like, he was like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. So guess what? They stayed on the insurance. My grandmother blew up his spot. And would she just tell you guys that story at Christmas? No, my dad told me the story. My dad said it. And you know what? They never talked about it ever again. My grandmother was like, it was almost like a don't, we're not going to talk about it. That's a thing that happened. We're not going to mention it ever again.

Because he held up his side of the bargain his affair was never discovered no she didn't talk about anybody i'm sure he got busted at some point he got yeah they always do you know dude but but that being said gangster moved by my grandmother hell yeah putting it out there like putting it out there like smash him in front of the dairy queen what do you think like your grandmother today you think she would have tweeted it she would have facebooked it yeah she would have booked it my my grandmother from my mom's side sends emails i'm on an email list can i read you some of the some of the stuff she said today yes this is great so i my grandmother she's 92 she emails still today emails us like updates you know it's been a long time let's see if i can do

it because i think she gets it's tough doing the email thing because she's yeah she's pecking hunting and packing. She's got all arthritis in her fingers. Yeah. Fingers are like that. Sometimes they just fall off. Yeah, dude. Took me way south two times for my two shots.

I'm all done. Yay. She got her shots. Had dinner with my six boys. All my uncles took her out. My mom's one of 10 kids. Right. All the uncles took her out.

Smile on my face. Took me to the doctor. I had a stye on my eyelid. God damn it. Grandma, that wasn't a stye. It wasn't a stye. What? They had to drain it.

Yikes. Yummy. I'm so grateful. I'm going to come. A lot of the boys told me about it. There's a lot of names in here. I don't want to mention other people's names. Good weather's coming.

Rain tomorrow. I'm making quilts for the little ones. Dude, she still does. At 92. Can you imagine? Makes quilts. Yeah, she's a gangster. She can still'm making quilts for the little ones. Dude, she still does, at 92, can you imagine? Makes quilts. She can still, yeah, she's a gangster. She can still make quilts.

She made this sign. Yeah, oh my God, we should talk about it. Look at this. My new sign from Ted Munst, shout out to the Munster. He does all the signs for literally all the podcast crews.

He did Bad Friends. Yeah. And look, we just got a new Whisk Jin sign. Look at that. It's really good. And by the way,

it's holding up by a thread. It might fall. Chris and I don't know what we're doing. Yeah, we didn't know to put it up. We needed my girl here to put it up because she's handy. My daughter took a look at this sign and didn't love it. Well, because my face was on it. Because she said your face, she was like, oh, I don't get it.

Right. Your daughter doesn't really like me. She likes the idea of me as your daddy's friend. Yeah. But she's scared because I'm a ginge. How about this? But then outside of the car, she waved to me and she said, will you come in our car and drive with us?

Yeah. So maybe she- She did say that. And when we got home that night, when we hung out the other night, she asked Jasmine, Vinny, we call her on the show, she asked her if the baby inside her belly was yours. And I said, I hope so. Well- I genuinely hope so because I don't want to have to deal with another child support payment.

Okay. Look at it like this. Let's say the kid comes out and it's not your kid. Okay. Let's say it's somebody else's, not mine because I don't want to have to deal with another child support payment. Okay, look at it like this. Let's say the kid comes out and it's not your kid. Okay. Let's say it's somebody else's, not mine because I don't want to even go there because it could have been a possibility at some point because Jazz and I did meet once in Harlem. I believe it. That being said, if it's somebody else's kid, what's your move?

Seriously, you find out. Being dead serious, what's the honest reaction? She comes to you. The baby comes out. It's not yours. It's, yeah. And it's obvious. It's a little tan. Got a lot of pigment in that skin.

Got a lot of pigment. Melanin and a lot of melanin. Looks like Bobby Lee a little bit. No, I'm saying a lot of melanin. Oh, a lot of melanin. Looks like it could be an athlete. Ah, got it. Definitely not yours. Looks like a Democrat. Like a demo. Yeah. What do you do if you're like, that's not my baby? I, to be honest with you,

if you told me right now my daughter wasn't mine, you know, paternally. Yeah. I, it wouldn't bother, I wouldn't change a thing. That's because you've raised her at this point. Yeah. But if a baby comes out new and you know it's not yours in the hospital, what do you do then? Then I would say I would probably, what would I do? You're not going to, you can't. I don't know if I do? You're not gonna

I don't know if I'd hit her. The baby, I mean. Oh, the baby? Yeah. Yeah. Well, it depends. It depends if it's a boy or if it's a girl. Yeah, that's true. If it was a boy, I think I'd stay around. If it was a girl, I'd say you're going to China.

Yeah. Could you imagine? There are stories that you hear about people. That breaks my heart when they have the kid and the father finds out it's not his kid. What about the Sam Kinison story?

You ever hear that? What? Sam Kinison, you know, comedy. And this is something that's like public. Carl LeBove. Who's his best friend.

Who's his best friend and a comic who worked with him all the time. They, and I'm pretty sure this is true. Yeah. They – Karl LeBeau had a child. Yes.

With his wife. Yeah. With his wife. Raising a beautiful thing, beautiful child, whatever. Sam Kinison dies when that child, I believe, was 18, found out it was Sam Kinison's child. It was never Carl's child. But Carl, I think, forgave Sam Kinison in the afterlife for it and continued to raise the daughter as his own.

Well, they were friends. He was with him on the day he died. What do you mean? Carl LeBeau was with him on the day he died. He was in the car? No, they were in another car following them. And he saw it happen. Yeah, because Sam Kinison was one of those guys,

he was drinky, he would drink a lot. Were you a Kinison fan? Love Kinison. See, some guys, some comics don't like it from our era because we didn't really grow up with him. I love Sam Kinison. I would watch all his stuff on YouTube. Ow, ow! Ah! He was wild, man. Move to where the food is! Yeah, that's right. I love that. Yeah, but his, like,

last special, I was a little bit like, eh, but, you know, he was on drugs. But that's because he was aced out of his head. You could tell when those guys, like the old live from the comedy stores. Oh, yeah. Those specials they did. You could tell who was lit up out of their mind. But you got to think about it.

That was a party back then. Yes. It wasn't about, they didn't get on, that wasn't for them to get on to get a better agent and to book a sitcom. No. They were already like taking off. Yes. So they were like, oh, this is a party. So I can do coke upstairs with Mitzi Then I can go downstairs in the basement and smoke weed and then I go grab a couple of drinks

And then they'll call me on stage when I'm ready. There was no rules It didn't it was a it's a chat It was like that a couple years ago with The store was on fire people were getting wrecked and going up on stage because the shows were all sold out and people were getting I mean people got cocky. Let me ask you this. You get lazy. You ever fuck Mitzi Shore? Me? Yeah.

Yeah. That's a yes. Clip it. Yeah, that's how you got it. But you know what? She dated a lot of comics. She did. Well, it wasn't the same.

Rest in peace, Mitz. Oh, she passed away? She died. Ooh. You didn't go to a funeral? You had sex with a corpse? I did. Yeah.

Yeah, she. I never met her. I never met Mitzi Shore. Really? Did you ever meet Esty from the Comedy Cellar? Never. And I never met Mitzi, you never met Esty. Did she die? No, Esty's still with us.

She's still booking the Comedy Cellar. Maybe I'll meet her then. 100% you're gonna meet her. I don't know, I never met her, but Mitzi I met twice. Oh, so she wasn't really around at the Comedy Cellar in the later years. By the time that I had shown up and was gonna get passed past she was around but not really around do you know what i mean like she was kind of at that point i think she was bad written and she wasn't she it just wasn't it was not good like i had another comic who was living with us at the time in my apartment and he would go up there

and was like an aid to her he would help her out you know right and like everything you know help her eat and it was sad man was tough. What's the oldest woman you would consider having sex with? How old what's to like, what's the age limit? A hundred. You would have sex with a hundred year old woman. No, that's the eight. That's the limit. 99 is my tip top. Yeah. Yeah. 99 is probably the highest I go. What's my limit? I don't know. Nothing up. What do you mean? I mean, if they're down, if, if, if later in life, you know, the old bag passes away and I'm a single mingle and I'm 76 and,'t know, nothing up. What do you mean? I mean, if they're down, if later in life, you know, the old bag passes away and I'm a single mingle and I'm 76

and, you know, an 86-year-old comes up. You're going to hit that. She's feeling it. Yeah, just you don't want to break her hip. You just got to be careful. You know what's something that's really going to hold, if we live this long, what's really going to, what just sucks to be a man, because my father tells me this,

he said, your mind, like you still look at a 25-year-old gorgeous girl playing volleyball and want to be like, I want to have sex with her. He said, that doesn't go away in your mind ever as a guy. So he said, men who are like 85 years old in wheelchairs that are shitting their pants still want to try to jerk off to the hot nurse. That's why they do. That's why they always ask the nurse. They're like, would you mind tugging on my ding-dong?

And the nurse is like, come on, Mr. D. You know I can't do that. Yeah. And they have to play along with these old perverts. But why won't they just do it? I think some of them. Like, if they really care. Some of them spit and look away, you know?

A little bit. Okay, Garth, I will get you your pills. Yeah. Because at that point, you're not, you don't have any, you know. Why should nursing homes and all that stuff, they should be giving out sex toys. By the way, sex toy companies, if you're listening, you should support them. Every guy should get

a fleshlight in a sex home. Good idea. And everybody, everybody in a nursing home, every man in a nursing home, should be legally allowed to get a prostitute or get a happy ending massage if they want. They want to go Deshaun Watson, they go Deshaun Watson. They should be able to Deshaun. Is it Deshaun or Deshaun?

Does it really matter? Well, to somebody, we know it does. Deshaun. I think it's Deshawn, it's actually, is it Deshawn or Deshawn? Does it really matter? Well, to somebody we know it does. Deshawn, I think it's Deshawn. You said Deshawn? Maybe that's just an accent that you have. Deshawn, do you know about that story with Deshawn Watson? Uh-uh. It's one of those things.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. He was flying out women, and then they accused him of sexual misconduct. Sexual misconduct, but he's- They were massage therapists, and he took advantage of it and made them do stuff to him but it's like one of those things I did see that but I did

but the DMs did you see the DMs he would message them and say hey I want to get and say hey can you give me a massage and they'd say yeah

you know my price is this and he'd say happy ending question mark and they'd write lol and then show a picture of their tits so it's just like oh seriously

no oh I was like did some of them do I imagine there was one or two that were into it. This is how you crack the case. One or two of them probably said yes, you know? Yeah.

And Deshaun was like, yeah. And then he thinks they're all like that. And then the ones that aren't, that's obviously how it goes. Well, here's the thing. Number one, I think it actually is the Houston Texans who leaked all that as a conspiracy because they just wanted Deshaun Watson to not leave the team and stay with their team because they think nobody's going to sign him now. Two, it's one of those things where it's like, let's be honest. Almost every NFL player, not every, but a majority of NFL players

do what he did. They're just making an example of him. Well, yeah, they wanted to pop him. It's kind of like they catch – it's like how often do they annoy Ricky Williams about the weed thing? You're like, everyone smokes weed. They just wanted to make an example out of that guy. You know what I mean?

They just wanted to poke the bear and poke the bear. And they wanted to be like, he's a criminal. You know these black guys and their weed. Dude, everyone in the league was smoking weed. Why is weed criminalized anymore? Well, the NFL now, right? Isn't it okay? No, NBA.

Sorry, NBA. If you smoke weed in the NBA, no problem? No problems anymore. Interesting. Yeah, because Adam Silver wised up. He realized that it's like, why would I penalize these guys for taking care of their body in an organic way? Do you think from the-

It's better than fucking pills. Oh, yeah. Fucking pills. Do you think from the day Adam Silver was born, he's looked like he was dying of cancer? He's looked like that. That man has looked like he was dying of cancer? He's looked like that. That man has looked like he's dying of cancer for the last 30 years. I mean, he doesn't even have eyebrows. He was born bald? Yeah.

You know that? He never grew hair. He never once grew hair. He actually never grew hair. Never grew hair. He looks like a slip... He just like... He seems like he's probably the best commissioner in sports. You say slippery? He looks slippery. He looks slippery. He's gonna get away. He looks like a slippery little fuck. In a game of tag, you're never gonna get him. He's a slippery little shit. And hide and go seek, he'll get away because he could go under door crests.

I mean, he's gone. People love him, though. The NBA, the players love him. You know why I think he's a genius? He literally let the NBA players make the NBA their league, right? Yes. When these guys have an issue that they want to address, whether it's Black Lives Matter or they want to write something or they want to talk about it publicly, instead of condemning

them like the fucking NFL did those jerk offs, you know that he let them speak their mind because the idea behind it is hey if we can if we can ingratiate power behind these guys and make them feel like they have a voice for whatever their issues are well then good because i'm making billions of dollars on their athletic prowess right otherwise otherwise Otherwise, like the NFL, it's bullshit. What are you really complaining about about these guys making a statement? They're making a fucking statement. You don't like it.

Okay. You don't have to like everything. Yeah, but you don't kneel at my anthem, Andrew. Now, I'll do a backflip at your anthem, by the way. That's it. Yeah. The idea that we sing the national anthem before we play a sporting event game

is the dumbest thing. What does that do? These are men playing a game that has no effect on the United States of America at all. I couldn't agree more. I think the- Or, if we're going to do that,

if that's going to be the case, if you're like, yeah, but it's about American pride and da-da-da-da-da and all the history of America, okay, then we should do the American, we should do the National Anthem before we do fucking everything

because people that fought for this country have made it so we can do anything. We should do it before this. Yeah, we should do it before this. You know what? Let's go right now. In here, we pour whiskey. Hey guys, are you looking to showcase your work, sell something online, publish a blog or, you know, or you just want to put up a new website to show off your new kitten mittens that you got? You got to use Squarespace if you're creating a site. Listen, I used it for myself. You can tell it's so easy to use for someone that's so not smart like me. So if you have any intellectual

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See, it's so insane. You know what? If we really want to sing a song together like it's a cult. Let's be honest. Before every game, if you really wanted to be American, if you really cared about America and you wanted to be the most American. Sign up for the Army. If you wanted that or make it really American,

have a mass shooting at the game. Go ahead. Do it. Go ahead and do it. If you want to be Americans, have a mass shooting at the game. More guns. Everyone should get a gun when you buy a ticket to a football game. Yes.

You buy a ticket, get a gun. You're not going to take my gun. I've never shot a gun. I've never held a gun. Never? Never in my life. As a kid in the Midwest, we all did. It's prerequisite for being a kid in the Midwest.

In Chicago, they would get you guns? Yeah, but when you're in Chicago, what you do is you're going to have to get in a car with some family friends. You're going to drive to Wisconsin. Up there in Wisconsin, you can shoot whatever you want. You can shoot birds, people, signs, whatever you need. Old cars, pheasants deers buck rabbit no real talk though i that's what you do as a kid you go up to wisconsin you go hunting yeah but that that's why like yeah like with the gun laws and people like ha ha

illinois has got some of the strictest gun laws in the world how does chicago get the guns it's like because they fucking drive to wisconsin or indiana and get the guns stupid stupid fuck they're everywhere. You can't not get a gun. Chicago, look at this, you know, the Tribune, I logged into the Tribune every day. You're a Tribune guy? Chicago Tribune. Come on, bro. Come on,

bro. Come on. But I check out the Tribune. This is what's sad every day. The Tribby. You can look at the Tribs and you can look every single time at the bottom and you can look at the stories and how many kids or how many people were shot in Chicago. And every single day, there's a story down here. I'm going to find one right now.

Look at this. Shooting. All you have to do is – It's constant. Yeah, type in shooting in Chicago. And it'll pop up today. How about this? Watch this.

Shooting in Chicago today. Imagine it's your grandma. She shoots. She shoots to kill. 13 shot, three fatally in Chicago so far this weekend. Oh, God. Imagine it's your grandma. She shoots. She shoots to kill. 13 shot, three fatally in Chicago so far this weekend. Oh, God. 15.

I mean, come on, man. Like, it never stops. And where do they get the guns? Anywhere. When somebody's like, where do they get the guns? You're like, wherever they want. But how do we stop it, though? You kids, it's so easy. To stop guns?

No, to stop the violence in Chicago. Like, I mean. Well, dude, that's a huge, huge. Imagine we figure it out on Whiskey Ginger. Right now, we're going to do it. Well, you know what helps a lot here in Southern California, whether or not I have, I don't know what I'm talking about, but there's community organizers that are in particularly

troubled neighborhoods, right? Say it. Socioeconomically struggling neighborhoods, right? And what happens is... They got a lot of COVID deaths there. The most. Yeah. What happens is they get these community organizers who used to be in gangs and they try to put out these programs for young kids to not get into the gangs right because here's who's shooting people bro it's gang members it's always gang members always this isn't just like innocent

people are usually the ones getting killed all the time yeah because they're in those neighborhoods they can't help it they have to live there so to me i think there needs to be more help in stopping fucking gangs and giving these kids more opportunities to do other shit. Now, what is that? I don't know. I'm not a smart man. But that being said, it's gangs. It's 16, 15-year-old kids that are just popping off because they want to be a part of a thing.

I'd rather – I'd love to give my tax money to something like – To fight gangs? Yeah. Yes. Yeah, because instead of fighting stupid shit, you know, like the war on drugs, which is like part of this, part of gang culture, but you're like, how about we start with another piece? What if we do this?

What if we fight fire with fire? We all join a gang. And we say that we start to pump out from the United States that it's actually the gang, specifically the gang members of Chicago who are disrespecting the prophet. And we tell ISIS that

ISIS now starts going after specifically members of gangs in Chicago and we make ISIS we have ISIS become the new gangs in Chicago and then this way at least they're not killing innocent children, they're just killing infidels

so listen up, Latin Kings and everybody that's in Chicago, if you're a part of a gang in Chicago, ISIS is the enemy. Let's kill these dudes. These cats have been crossing up on our turf. Too many times they've been on our block. Let's get them. They've been disrespected. This message is for our friends at

the Caliphate in Kabul. They have been disrespecting the prophet in South Chicago, is it? Yeah, South and West. Southwest Chicago has been disrespecting the Prophet for years now. Yep. I'm just going to say that. Just going to say it. And if you guys need a video editor,

because you guys do some great work with editing with ISIS, we have Andres from the Bad Friends show. Yeah, Fancy B would love to edit some of those ISIS videos. Fancy B would do a great job editing those videos. By the way, wouldn't it be funny if there was a call time for those ISIS videos for a production crew? They're like, you had to be here at 3.30. We were starting at 3.00.

You should have been here on time. Yeah. It's like, no, I had to fix something. You have to subtitle. How funny would it be if they have call times, they have an on-set PA, an AD? It's like some young guy's like, I'm trying to get into it, but for now I'm just running bombs back and forth. I'm trying, but one day I will be one of you guys. Dude, the ISIS PA would be hilarious.

What a good series, the ISIS PA. Yeah. It's like he's a peon of a terrorist group. Yeah, yeah. He's just a shitty terrorist. Dude, yeah, because, I mean, if you look at the editing, I mean, it's... It's phenomenal.

It's Hollywood level. No, honestly, I think they use black magic cameras, and it's like a three-camera setup. No, no, no, no, no, no. Far and away, the equipment ISIS has is better than what than what we have right it's better than what we're shooting on right now they would look at this and be like what is this piece of shit what are you shooting this on this piece of shit no they would bring in the isis beheading cameras and this show would take off they show us what to do they're like actually nice guys about it yeah the lighting

is terrible that's part of your problem they show angle like, you have to hit this angle with your head because you don't want the dirty shot. Bro, when I first saw that video, I will never forget in college when they beheaded that guy live on camera, you know, when they beheaded that journalist or whatever, photographer. And it was like slow, dude.

I remember seeing that in my buddy Mark's room. Stupid fat Mark. Shout out, stupid fat Mark. Stupid fat Mark. Fat Mark. SFM. Yeah. And Mark, I was watching in his room

because he had like the fastest computer with the best internet and because he was you know i gotta tell you i that was singed into my brain and i literally had to kind of like go for a walk yeah get it out i couldn't i had never seen anything that scared me and shocked me that much no no it was crazy life you know it's another scary one that isis did like and it's equally as horrifying when they lit the the Syrian pilot on fire. My God. That was brutal, dude. Unreal.

Because you just kind of see his body, like, incinerating. It's insane. And then, like, you just see, like, in the middle, like, his hands on his head, and he just, like, gives up. Like, he just gives up and dies. Yeah. So these people are the worst people on Earth. Let's switch it up and switch the mood.

Well, worst people, no, worst people on Earth, but some of the best video quality. Let's just say that. Of all time. Their production, okay, look, their production is through the roof. I would say the production of ISIS beats out the production of the Nazis. I'm just going to say that. Of all time. Their production, okay, look, their production is through the roof. I would say the production of ISIS beats out the production of the Nazis. I'm just going to say that and let's switch. I don't know.

I don't know. What? Let's talk about it. Dude, speaking of production levels through the roof, we got into South Park's vaccination special. I don't know if you saw it yet. What did you say? South Park's vaccination special.

Have you watched it? Is it like... I think those guys are able Park's vaccination special. Have you watched it? Is it like? I think those guys are able to pump stuff out. When I mean production level, it's like they're able to pump out comedy so fast that it's almost how can you win? To be honest with you, Trey Parker and Matt Stone, to be honest, I'm being serious. I genuinely, when I watch South Park, I almost feel like either they're time traveling, like, because of how quick they are. Yeah.

And two, I feel like they don't win any awards or anything like that. I don't even want that shit. No, no, because they're above it. Right. Like, it almost, like, they're so funny that they don't even qualify for a comedic category. You're too funny to win a comedy award. I'm serious. No, I agree.

Like, they're actually too funny. Like, everyone's like, okay, whoever won for best comedy, it's like, you won, but, like, You're too funny to win a comedy award. I'm serious. They're actually too funny. Everyone's like, okay, whoever won for best comedy, it's like, you won, but obviously South Park always wins, but you won, fine. It's like they're aliens, dude. But awards, you learn at some point that awards are such cockamamie nonsense. When I was young, I did think, in my mind, I thought it meant it went to the most popular

or the one who sold the most or did the most. Yeah. But that's not the case anymore. No. Once you learn it, you get it. And you like, like this year,

this made me laugh in a sad way, but this year, Tiffany Haddish won like a Grammy for her comedy album. And I was looking up, I was like, who are the, who are the runners up every year? Cause I don't really pay attention to that shit.

Cause I just wanted to know. Cause I love Tiff and she's the shit. And I saw she celebrated on her Instagram and I was like, who else was up? And it was like Seinfeld and whatever. Like major names. Yeah, yeah. But then I looked at like,

who were the runner up every year? Like I wanted to see. And bro, for five years, Gaffigan's been like a runner up. It made me so sad. Grammy for best comedy album. Dude, and Gaffigan's the kind of guy, even though he's a clean comic,

he'll have a few fucking pops, he'll have a few beers, and he'll swing on you. He's got the full fight for the crowd. Tough as nails. I would never fuck with Gaffigan. So look at this, Gaffigan, and this made me sad,

because I was just going through it. I was like, man, did Gaffigan get clipped every single year they nominated him? So this year nominated, didn't win. Last year nominated, didn't win. Last year nominated, didn't win. 2019, didn't win. 2018, didn't win.

He's like the Bills. Yeah, dude. I was like, give this guy a fucking... If they give you four years of... Okay, four... Give it fucking to him. Just give him one. Four years?

Okay, but by the way, that was four years in a row. Because he also got nominated in 2013. He also got nominated in 2012. He just never wins. No, it's so fucking cruel. Give him one. Give him one. Weird Al Yankovic has won it twice,

his best comedy album. Really? Yeah, he won it two times. He won it in 2015. And guess what? In 2015, guess who he beat? Jim Gaffigan. Jimmy G.

I love... By the way, my point was, I love Jimmy Gaffigan, and I was like... Has he ever been on Whiskey Ginger? No. I can't think of a more perfect guest for Whiskey Ginger than Jimmy Gaffigan, and I was like— Has he ever been on Whiskey Ginger? No. I can't think of a more perfect guest for Whiskey Ginger than Jimmy G. But he lives in New York.

New York. And we wanted to do a Zoom Zoom, but Zooms are hard, man. Nah, Zoom—I think as a country, at least in entertainment, we're past the Zoom. I think I'd rather just do it—unless it's like, you know, you're going to do fucking, like, Obama, then whatever you have to do, you have to do it. I might do Obama. You're going to do Obama? He's from Chicago. Obama do, you have to do it. I might do Obama. You're going to do Obama? He's from Chicago. Obama texted me, and he said,

I want to be on the show. I got to get on the show. And I said, it's fine, but we have to laugh at the clip of Joe Biden falling down the stairs. That's the first thing I'm going to show. And he just bailed. He wouldn't do it. He wouldn't do that?

Couldn't laugh at him. Dude, I got him on my podcast, and in the camera, he said Trump 2024 to the camera. Can I tell you something? I think Obama and Trump are working side by side you genuinely believe that I believe it I think they're working together I think Obama and Trump are working together that's why he did this whole thing show me the papers where was he born right you know and then Obama outed him for all the awful stuff that he said you know Obama was the one that found the tape of him saying grab him by

the you know what I mean he did Obama. Obama found the tape. He planted Billy Bush. Planted Bush. Planted Bush. Talk about someone that got the rawest end of that deal. Just an idiot. Just an idiot like E! News type of guy who's like, hey, dad, he's on a bus being cute and got his hair done. He looks all nice in his makeup and dad's like, yeah, you can grab him.

And Billy Bush is like, hey, hey, hey, okay. They pay me six million to be a puppet. Why did that guy get burned so bad? You know what's – What do they want that guy to do? Billy Bush, too, I'm sure when that clip came out, he didn't even remember Trump saying that. And no way Trump even remembered saying that. First of all, it wasn't on camera.

So it's a behind-the-scenes thing where Billy's probably making a sandwich. You know what I mean? He's like making a turkey sub on that bus. And Trump's like, oh, you grab him by the buzzy. And he's like, yeah, yeah, for sure. He's like, do we have any more chips? You know what i mean it's like making a turkey sub on that bus and he's like trump's like oh you grab a bite of pussy and he's like yeah yeah for sure about he's like do we have any more chips with you know what i mean there's no way they're paying attention to what he's saying you know what you know what to my stepmom said because because that grab by the pussy came out like in when trump was like running in 2016 yeah that made my stepmom and i would imagine a lot of other women actually vote for trump because they were like, the media is going to now say that even a guy can't say words.

We all know what guys say. People are like, oh, what? It's grabbed by the pussy. It's like, what? My stepmom was like, what is it going to be? Is it going to be feminism where we can rise above this shit? Or because he said something like that, now, oh, he's a big, strong man and we have to be scared of him. She was like, fuck him.

Fuck the media. I'm voting for Trump. A lot of people did that no i'm sure but here's the problem with the whole thing to me with all that shit now looking back in retrospect you're like trump the the thing about trump that people never even gave him credit for is like dude he showed you he was in he was an evil wicked weirdo yes right so why why are we pretending to be surprised when he does something fucked up right you're like what do you mean? You think he doesn't talk like that?

Yeah. He's a fat, swollen, diabetic, gout-ridden, McDonald's-chewing golfer who's a liar. Hey, that's my president. He was, dude. What? And now it's Kamala Harris. Do you notice now it's not like you should be like the Trump presidency or like the The guy never lied to us, by the way. He was always a fucking piece of shit.

Always. So it's like, why are you pretending like you're blown away that he's a piece Of shit that's annoying. People are ridiculous. Yes. He's a piece of shit. What are you fucking surprised? No, he's a fucking dildo No, I saw today was like a good tweet. I don't remember the exact wording but it was something I was like Oh, that's interesting Like you know cuz like everyone like like the woke people how like, you know, like there's certain people now like I forgot There's a girl I forgot her name But like she's like claiming to be so woke, but then like people are going back in her tweets and she's like,

I always find them. So much racist bullshit. There was a girl in Teen Vogue. Did you not see that? Yes, which is crazy. Imagine when we were 17 years old or 16 years old, we had Twitter.

We would all be canceled and done. You cannot, you cannot take someone's career away from them for something they did when they were a teenager. How about, not something they did, right? Because if you do deplorable acts you murdered someone yeah if you murdered someone at 17 it's what you said so she said

something stupid and inappropriate then make her apologize that's it make her say sorry and make up for her mistake otherwise we don't want people to fix themselves then you're just saying okay you said something racist once that must mean you're a racist for the rest of your life how are you going to fix that? I've been saying this even on

stage, and it used to be actions speak louder than words, but now words speak louder than actions. Somehow that flipped. Two things flipped, in my opinion, in our world. Before I didn't even realize it was coming. Actions speak louder than words, words speak louder than actions. That flipped. And then the

American flag. After 9-11, you had that American flag out high and proud. You were fucked. Couldn't, everybody was your patron. You're the greatest person on earth. No matter what you look like. Now you have that out, you're a racist, disgusting person. I know, it's insane. How crazy is that?

And we just let it happen. What was the turn? When did the American flag become evil? With Trump, he came in in 2016. Isn't that so fucked up? That's, they, you associate, They associate the American flag with Trump loving. That's insane. It all is, because here's the thing.

Here's the thing. It's like, do you like this country? You're like, go somewhere else. I live here. What are you talking about? Why don't you go live in Venezuela then? Let's see how you do in Venezuela. It's insane.

You fuck. It's insane to think that because you are trying to be positive. By the way, flying an American flag, the idea that someone would be like, oh, yuck. And you're like, but say why. Say why. Say why yuck. You could say, yeah, flying an American flag. What are you not like?

Yeah. Do you have problems with this country? Sure. I don't think everything is perfect. But what utopian society is. Go name me. I fucking hate it when someone's like, oh, you know what's better? Oh, Sweden. They always throw out something that's bullshit where you're all exactly the same they look exactly the same they think exactly the same so fine i understand that right but it's like and

then people like shit on of course america's not perfect there's racism and there's problems anywhere in the world there is in fucking europe two years ago yeah a black player scored a goal they threw bananas on the field right we would never do that here. In China, right now... They do that in Boston, by the way. Okay. Do they do that? They still throw bananas on the field? Players would always say when they go to play in Boston, baseball players, they would yell

racial shit, but Boston's the most racist place on planet Earth. Boston's Boston. Boston's Boston. That being said, don't go to Boston. In here, we pour whiskey. Are you drinking enough water, as your mother would say to you? And you know I'm trying to now, especially because I'm running again because it's getting nice outside. So, Papa, be running.

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without the BS. Ritual is offering my listeners 10% off your first three months. That's great. Visit ritual.com slash whiskey to start your ritual today. Ritual.com slash whiskey. Ginger. I like gingers. But then i love and then what about you know like even in china a year ago during covid there's a province

in china the ungar province or something like that where it's a majority muslim population they take them shave their heads and put them on trains into concentration camps today today 2021 today shaving their heads. But the problem is people want to ignore that stuff and pretend like we're the worst, when in actuality, we are, and I consider myself someone who's progressive in nature. Like, I'm trying.

Just say you're gay. I am. Okay. Like, you don't know. You're my fucking boyfriend. But I'm trying my best to, like, be open-minded about everything. That's my whole thing now.

I'm just like, yeah, I'll take it as it comes, right? I'm not going to discount anything. And I think America as a whole is trying its best to be progressive. But then when someone says, we're so fucking far behind, you go, dude, have you ever been anywhere else? No. Because we're not far behind. There's places, what do you mean?

There's places right now. Dude, women couldn't drive in Saudi Arabia until like four years ago. Yeah. What the fuck are you talking about? The most slaves that have ever existed in the history of the world exist right now

in Saudi Arabia right now. Right now. It's too fucking crazy. So what are you talking about? If you even say the word slave in the United States, you could go to federal prison

for that. There's a cop coming in right now. Come on in, boys. Hi. Get him. It's so funny how it turned political. You know what it federal prison for that. There's a cop coming in right now. Come on in, boys. Hi! Get him. So... It's so funny how it turned political. You know what it really is to me?

It's more just like, I'm tired of everyone shitting on us. Why can't we just get to a place where we're like, well, can we work together to make things better? That's it. Instead of fuck you and fuck you

and you suck and you're wrong. Instead of the teen vulgar, exactly what you said. Instead of making her, instead of firing her, let her apologize and explain herself. And work it out. By God's me, by God, she hugs it out, and that's it.

Work it out. We used to be able to work it out. Remember when you got to fight in your neighborhood with someone, you argue with somebody, you know? And it was like your dad afterwards was like, well, you got to go be a man about it and work it out. Dude. Be a man, grow up, and work it out.

In my high school in 2000, if you got into a fight in the hallways or whatever, Teachers would watch for sure. Mr. D, he would take both you guys down to the basement. He had boxing gloves, and he'd let you box three rounds. I swear to God. So good. That's a thing that would happen, and he'd let you just fight it out. It's so like the 1950s.

I love that. Yeah, but it was good. He's smoking. He's like, go ahead, boys. Go at it. He's getting horny. But truth be told, beyond the fact of the violence

of that whole thing and beyond all that, the real truth is like, America went from a place where we like really did try to work out our problems and when you told somebody something was fucked up

and wrong, we used to be like, oh shit, maybe we should chill on that shit. But now it's like, oh, you said that word?

Yeah. Well, I hope we banish you forever. Well, dude, it's just a transfer of power. All it is, is now woke people and the PC people, like the extreme people that want to cancel this Teen Vogue editor,

they're just being bullies. A bully used to be someone who would pull up your wedgie. They don't do that anymore. Now they try to put pressure on you to cancel you, and that's why, in my opinion, so many people who call everybody out and try to be these woke police when you go back in their twitter look they have racist tweets because they were bullies 10 years ago of course 10 years ago the way you bullied someone and would be dominant be an asshole is by doing racist things and like that so so that's why we don't really

have that much so we have jokes but i never tried to bully you you're not you're never going to find a tweet from mine back in the day yes you'll find things that are like attempts at jokes. But you're never going to hear something like, where I tweeted something like really racist like these people because we weren't trying to bully anybody back then. They were. And by the way, if you tweeted something and it comes off racist, I bet you it was a joke.

Yes. I bet you it was just a bad joke at the time. That's all it was. You thought it was funny and you were trying to be funny. Yes. And by the way, maybe some of these people are trying to say something funny and it just doesn't work out. You know what I mean?

She was just trying to make a stupid joke. And I don't know, I'm not saying in particular these girls because I didn't really read the tweets. I just love the headline was hilarious that it's like girl gets fired and the girl who tried to stop her from being hired also got fired. It was like the girl got fired for saying fucked up

and then the other girl who was like, I told you they found out she said fucked up shit. You're like, the girl got fired for saying fucked up and then the other girl who was like, I told you, they found out she said fucked up shit. You're like, you're all eating each other. You're all eating each other's tail. That's all they do

is eat each other. You're fucking eating your own. That's all that happened. That's the cycle. It's like, that's the thing. You want to call somebody out for their actions,

you better be squeaky clean, motherfucker, because that camera's going to turn around and that light's going to turn around and shine right on you. And what are we going to see? Anal warts.

Anal warts. Yeah. Which, by the way, you don't have anymore. And I will say, some of my fans comment sometimes and they go,

does Chrissy still have A-dubs? And I always say, no, you got it taken care of. But... Skin tags. But you know what month is coming up. What is it?

It's fucking... It's Anal Warts Awareness Month. Are you serious? Anal Warts Awareness Month is May. Anal Warts Awareness... That's my daughter's birthday month And that's why And that's why

No I don't have any anal warts But I do have skin tags On both my ass cheeks And I have what I think Is an emerging hemorrhoid Okay so have you really Ever had hemorrhoids before? No

So I've had I've had one before And you shit pure blood It was honestly It was the worst pain I've ever had in my entire life Really? Take me through it

I had to sit on a donut Had to sit on a donut. It was right after college. Like you wouldn't be able to sit here right now and do the show? I would. It would just be very uncomfortable. I would just be, I'd be shifting a lot, you know, and I'd be... How'd you shit a hemorrhoid out in college? What happened? You don't shit them out. Right after college. No, no, no.

It's like a bubble. It's like a piece of... It's like an inflamed, filled with fluid and blood piece of your anal tissue. Your tissue. So is that different from anal fissures? Because my dad has anal fissures. Now that... I think he shits blood.

He does. And you do get a little bloodskeedoodles on the hemorrhoids. By the way, if anybody's eating right now, buckle up. I hope it's something soupy. Yeah, and if you are going to vomit, why don't you just record that and tweet that at Cheeto Santino at Whiskey Ginger Podcast. At whiskeygingerpodcast,. At ChristieComedy.com. Please go to everything that he has, including his Patreon.

Please comment. Please subscribe. Please like. Please push. Please post. Please tweet. Please vine. Yes.

Tick-tock in it. Tick-tocky. And do all the goods. But honestly, I had to sit on a donut for a while because it was so painful. And you know what I got it from? What? Lif that what did you feel it kind of popping out i just i just felt like strain and stress and after i was done lifting i was like you know how i was really sore yeah my ass was so uncomfortable yeah and then that night at home i could feel it it was bad anybody who's had a hemi go ahead and comment down below if you had a hem hem uh be part of the

hem crew and uh i'll send you a shirt. What they say, though, is the worst pain for a guy ever to experience is passing a kidney stone. You ever do one of those? No, but I think my dad had one. They break it up. You know, they break it up now. Yeah. So back in the day, you used to have to pass a whole stone, but now they can give you a pill,

or they can physically break it up. There's a machine they use to break it up. So when you pee it out, it's not as big. said i think he said his dad had to piss out one before they even knew the technology and it was by by and large the worst pain he's ever had joel bartnick told the story once to me you know he passed us oh dude he said he was drinking at like i think a pittsburgh steelers game and he said he was like like he was like imagine like drinking like 20 beers and having to pee like you can't imagine like after that, he said, and the pee wouldn't come out. He's like, I was just peeing, and it just wouldn't come out.

He's like, I was just sitting in the porta potty, and the pee just wouldn't. I had to pee so bad, and it's just not working. So I just kept pushing and pushing and pushing. And then he said, I just heard it go ping, and it hit right off the back of the porta potty. He said, and it was like this big. He said, it just fucking ripped open the top of my dick he said i just kept pissing he said and then i was just already so drunk already he was like that i was like i should probably go to the hospital he said but i was like ah it's already

in the it's already in the bowl there so he said i just kept drinking said i drank another 20 beers woke up in somebody's basement whose basement i don't know he said somebody's basement he's sober now right uh i think so yeah this was years ago i hope so yeah if you piss a kid he I don't know. He said somebody's basement. He's sober now, right? I think so. Yeah, this was years ago. I hope so. Yeah. If you piss a kid, he's stoned out. You end up in somebody's basement 20 beers later after a few years. Dude, we were at Giannis Pappas' wedding two years ago.

Shout out to Gian Pappas. Shout out Gianni Pappas. Shout out to Giannis Pappas' wedding two years ago. And Bartnick got so drunk, he missed the wedding. And we were at the hotel where the wedding was. So he's not sober. It was in a castle. The wedding was in a castle. And so we were staying at the castle where the wedding was. So he's not sober. It was in a castle. The wedding was in a castle.

And so we were staying at the castle where the wedding reception was. And we were there at like 6 o'clock. And he was drinking. And let's say the wedding was at 7.30. Let's say. Joe woke up the next morning and was like, where's the wedding? He just showed up to breakfast in his tuxedo. So he's got a problemo.

Problem. And that's what we're here for. Joe, come on in. I'd like if this was a fake podcast for an intervention oh my god just behind the camera he's like wait what's up

that's probably the only way to get interventions with comedians do you have to intervene anybody in your life I've never had to intervene you no but there's somebody

I should have intervened years ago but are they dead now they are yeah thanks for bringing it up what happened well

what can you do I never I used to watch that show Intervention I used to love it it made me feel better about when I was drinking too much. If I would go on a bender for like a week of just partying, I'd watch Intervention sometimes and be like, well, those guys are way worse than me. But I can't – I don't have a problem.

Like for me, like what I think I actually am addicted to is like sweets. Like if you said, hey – like I would imagine the same way for an alcoholic is like I want to drink that beer. It looks like a chocolate chip muffin to me. Like if you said you can never have chocolate chip muffins again, that would be very difficult for me to cope with. Like truly, truly, if your doctor said you have to give up sugar tomorrow or you're going to die, would it be one of those things where you're like, I might have to sneak it once in a while because I can't not do it? I think that's what I do. So that's why like when I hear like an alcoholic who's been sober for 30 years, I just imagine that must be what it is. Yeah, because if you told me I couldn't have

your black and white cookies, I wouldn't know what to do. They're the best, by the way. What's better than that? A black and white cookie from a Jewish jelly is just like, what are we talking about right now? What are you first, the black side or the white side? You know what side.

Actually, only the white, and I throw the black side away. What? No, what do you mean? What side do i eat you know you want to know how masochistic and weird i am i like to eat i eat the i go right down the middle in the middle yeah of course yeah all right fine what side do you eat black you eat black first i eat i because i'm a i love chocolate so what i like to do is i eat a little bit of the

chocolate and then i eat a little bit of the vanilla and and then I eat a little bit of the vanilla. And then what I like to do is when it gets to like half moon, I dip it in my iced coffee. Get out of town and come on back and give me a kiss. Can I give you a little tip? Yep. Since you like chocolate, you like Nutella? Do I like Nutella? Go ahead and get yourself two black and white cookies late at night. Big glass of milk.

Put some Nutella between the cookies. Make it a cookie sandwich, a Nutella black and white cookie sandwich. How many calories do you think we're at? 1,700. No, do you genuinely think if I had two black and white cookies, a glass of milk with Nutella between the cookies. Make it a cookie sandwich. A Nutella black and white cookie sandwich. How many calories do you think we're at? 1,700. No, do you genuinely think if I had two black and white cookies, a glass of milk with Nutella in between, that's 1,700? I think it's over. I think it's maybe around 1,000. Is that it? How many calories

are in a black and white cookie? But maybe this doesn't know about black and white cookies. Yeah, see, this doesn't know. Yeah, because they probably called some other stupid name. Around 400 calories in one single Entenmann's black and white cookie. 400 calories? 400 calories. In one?

What did I say? I know we peaked. And what? If you got two of them, that's 800 plus Nutella. Yeah, plus like... How many calories are in a spoonful of Nutella? 100. This said Nirvana.

On its website, Nutella says each tablespoon has 100 calories. So two tablespoons of Nutella. So it'd be 1,000 calories. That's what I said. That's what it'd be. You're done. Dude, one time I was in Cincinnati.

I swear to God, I was with my friend, the great Mike Cannon, great comedian. Shout out to Mike Cannon. Shout out Mike Cannon at I Am Mike Cannon Comedy. Is it I Am Mike Cannon Comedy?

I think it's at I Am Mike Cannon. Let's plug the right. If we're going to do it right, let's plug what it is, okay? Let's plug Mikey. Mike Cannon's very funny. We want to give some love to Mike Cannon. We don't want's at I am Mike Cannon. Let's plug the right, if we're going to do it right, let's plug what it is, okay? Let's plug Mikey. Mike Cannon's very funny. We want to give some love to Mike Cannon. We don't want to do it the wrong way.

Shout out to at Mike Cannon. It is. What is this? Hold on. At I am Mike Cannon on Instagram and Twitter. One of the funniest guys alive. Love Mike Cannon. Been in front of Mike for 10 years.

Say Chrissy D sent you and Papa Cheeto. Yeah, check out his podcast. Let's not give him that. Let's not plug too much. Oh, sorry. Yeah. Yeah. Fuck my cannon.

Where were you guys? Where were you? So, Mike, so we're in Cincinnati. Yeah. And we were riding on scooters. We were eating chili. And I said, oh, let's go into this cafe. So we go into the cafe.

I walk up to the black woman. And I say, hey, can I have a black iced coffee? And she goes, what do you mean? And I said, I'd like a black, I'd like an iced coffee black. Careful, careful, careful. Because in New York, if you just say black iced coffee,

it's like- Everybody knows. Yeah. And then Mike was like, yeah, like two black iced coffees. And she goes, what the fuck you white boys think you're talking to me like that for? And we said, what?

I said, what? I go, we'd like a- Two African-American iced coffees? Yeah, I said, we'd like two black iced coffees. She's thinking you're, how was that derogatory? And she goes, you mean you want a coffee with no milk or sugar? And I was like, yes. And she goes, so why don't you just fucking say that?

And I was like, because in New York, you could say black iced coffee. That's everywhere. Everywhere you go. Yeah. So then the person, the manager or whatever says, what's going on here? I said, we're trying to order two black iced coffees. And he goes to the lady, he goes, can you just please make two

coffees with no sugar and milk? And then I go, yeah. And then we're like, yeah. Look at each other. She takes both coffees and fucking throws them at us. Shut up! Coffee like all over us. Just like dripping down. And she was like, you motherfucking racist! And I was just like, yeah. And she was like, you motherfucking racist.

Wow. And I was just like, he's right. Yeah. And I was just like, I'm sorry. And then like, we were like so shaken up.

We got back on our scooters and I like went to like, go like, like get it. Cause I was like scared. I like went to like go out of there and like went on the scooter and I fucking hit the curb

and I fell and I freaking. So coffee all over you. Yep. With no milk or no sugar in it. No milk or sugar. Then. Then you hit a curb. Then you hit a curb.

Then I hit a curb. Then we go finally get a nice coffee. We get back to our hotel. We go up into the room. Mike, he likes to smoke a little bit of the bud. We're smoking bud on the balcony. He goes, yo, Chris, come over. Look at this.

We see two crackheads, like watching it, two crackheads come out of a dumpster. They were sleeping in a dumpster all night. Cincinnati is a fucking insane city. It's a tough-ass insane what was the what was the venue uh the liberty funny bun is it funny bun there i think it's a liberty i've never done since dude skyline chili we were in sky shout out skyline oh my god it was so it was one of those things i swear to god i took one bite of it it was so good because i got the ball i took one bite of it and i fucking roofed it do you like there's a place out here there's a place out here that that has really good chili with spaghetti noodles at the bottom whoa it's called uh it's called uh not uh what in milwaukee

it's called real chili never been to milwaukee never good city honestly i'm not i'm not kidding i'm not joking around right now one One of my favorite cities in the Midwest. Milwaukee? By far. What's so different? Drinking town. If you like drinking, it's a drinking town. Well, it's awesome when they hit a home run at the Brewers.

That guy goes down the slide. It doesn't happen too often. Brewers loses. Chili John's. If you ever want to go to a place, it's called Chili John's. Chili John's. Chili John's over in Burbank. It's old school.

It's one of these, you know, like a U-shaped counter like that. How great is that? Oh, that's great. Chili John's has chili like that. Now, Milwaukee is one of my favorite cities in the Midwest, you know. But when I go to Wisconsin, when I go to play, I play comedy on state in Madison. Yes. I love Madison.

I love Madison. I'm obsessed. Shout out comedy on state. Obsessed. No matter who you are. Shout out to the city that killed Sam Cooke. Yep. How'd they kill him?

No, not Sam Cooke. Otis Redding. How'd they kill Otis Red, not Sam Cooke. Otis Redding. How'd they kill Otis Redding? Otis Redding crashed a plane into Lake Minota. Why did he do that? Sam Cooke died in L.A. from a hooker, shot him in the chest. Why did he do that? Why did he crash the plane into the lake?

There's two, you know, the city lays on two lakes, Lake Minota, Lake Minota, Minota, whatever. It's almost the same name. These guys, they don't know how to fucking name lakes up there. Lake Native Americans. Lake Natives. The fog was too heavy and the plane crashed. Otis Redding, dude, he died in, Otis Redding died in

Madison, Wisconsin. Wow. Otis Redding died in Madison, Wisconsin. Please be wrong. I need to make sure. I need to make sure. I need to make sure. Yeah, final approach, Madison. You know I always get, Otis. However, the private plane carrying soul music legend Otis Redding would crash into the frigid waters of a small lake three miles short of the runway, including seven of the eight men aboard, including Redding. By the way,

the one man that got away, still alive. How the hell did he survive a plane crash into a lake? Some guys are tougher than others. That's what it is, right? Yeah, some guys can just handle a hit from a plane. But anyway, Milwaukee, big drinking town, one of the most fun places ever.

I was at the Hopbrow House with my childhood best friend and a bunch of us. This is how wild Milwaukee is. In a fucking bar, they have a tree stump, right, that used to be, that grew outside and they literally cut down the tree and then they built a bar around it. This is how wild Milwaukee is. In a fucking bar, they have a tree stump that used to be that grew outside and they literally cut down the tree and then they built a bar around it. That's hilarious. They got a real tree stump and they have Jesus nails. You know Jesus carpenter nails? Sure.

They have a fucking hammer, a fucking sledgehammer, and if you can nail it in in the least amount of hits, you get to, you know, whoever does it the most has to buy the round of beer. They give you a hammer and a fucking nail and a tree stump and a bar. And a keg of beer. And a stein of beer.

You just hit it as hard as you fucking can. See, I never even thought that Milwaukee was like, I just thought it was like a fly-by-city. Fuck no, dude. A big drinking town. It's like a little Chicago kind of? It's much smaller Chicago. But I mean, they have a college there called Marquette, where my best friend went. I know Marquette, Dwayne Wade.

Marquette is where I, where the first place I ever got to, ever got to put one in the tookus out there. Really? Whoa. Dude, I love that city. That city is so fun. But Milwaukee is underrated. Big drinking town, you know, sports town.

Unfortunately, you know, the Bucs are all over the place, but sometimes up, sometimes down. The football team's over in Gay Bay, Green know, the Bucs are all over the place, but sometimes up, sometimes down. The football team's over in Gay Bay, uh, Green Bay, sorry. How far is Milwaukee from Gay Green Bay? Uh, hour and a half, maybe something like that. If you're living Milwaukee or Green Bay Packers fan, a hundred percent, you gotta be a Packers fan. Can't be anything but a Packers fan. How far is Chicago from Milwaukee? A couple hours. Oh, so you would go, you could go to Milwaukee for the weekend. You could, but you wouldn't. Why would you do that? Why would you leave the greatest city

in the Midwest to go to Milwaukee? You ever go see a Green Bay Packers game? No, you know what? And I really, really want to. That's one of those things that's on my list. Of all, I used to go on tour when I did stand-up

back in my day. God, I can't wait. Which we may be going back. You and I may be doing a little stand-up. No, we are. We are. We're going to be doing something soon. We're going to do it in May?

We're going to be doing something soon in May. Cross your fingers. Cross your fingers. But I used to go to baseball games, and I would go alone. I didn't even care because I wanted to see. What do you mean? You'd go to Milwaukee Brewer games alone? No, no, no.

I would go all over the country wherever I was, and I would just go to a baseball game. If the feature didn't want to go with me, I'd go by myself. Yeah. Because I wanted to see every stadium. But with football, football stadiums suck. Yeah. There's nothing cool about them. But the only one I do want to see left on my list is. Green Bay. Lambeau. Lambeau suck. Yeah. There's nothing cool about them. But the only one I do want to see left on my list is...

Green Bay. Lambeau. Lambeau Field. Yeah. How many baseball stadiums have you gotten to? I'm all but five. Wow. What are the five you haven't hit?

Well, New Yankee. I haven't been to New Yankee Stadium, which is like... It's not great, to be honest with you. Really? The old Yankee Stadium is so much better. It was so cool. And the city field where the Mets play is 10 times better.

And I love the... I'm a dire Yankee fan. But they've been to see the Mets. Been to see the Mets. They just made a bullshit corporate stadium. Yeah, sadly. What are the stadiums? Miami.

Never been to Miami. Never been to Miami. I've never been to Miami. I've been to the city a million times, but I've never been to a game. It's New New York, Miami. It's something out here. Did you go to Pittsburgh? Mariners.

I've never been to a Seattle game. Safeco Field is sick. Yeah, I've never been to a Seattle game. Safeco Field is sick. Yeah, I've never been up there. And I have... That's three. No, I have been to Pittsburgh. I have been to Philly. I have been to...

You've been to, like, Oakland. I've been to Baltimore. Of course, I've been to Oakland. I've been everywhere in California. Every single one. Well, there's only four. How's the Anaheim Angels Stadium? Is it dope?

No, it's garbage. Just, like, in the middle of nowhere? Yeah, it's insane. If they didn't have Mike Trout, they wouldn't get no one to go there. Like, is it just, like, off-the-high. Is it just like off-the-highway bullshit? It is off-the-highway bullshit. The only thing that's cool about it

is you can take the train, and the train literally lets you off in the parking lot. So you took the train from L.A. to Anaheim? If I go south, I take the train. Why? Because driving, just you're in traffic? I'd rather cut off my penis

and sew it to your head. What? That would be great. It's the nightmare. Yeah, you could kiss it. It's a nightmare, dude. Driving out like San Diego, Padres games, taking the train. It lets you off be great. It's the nightmare. Yeah, you could kiss it. It's a nightmare, dude. Driving out like San Diego Padres games, taking the train.

It lets you off downtown. I'm taking the Metro. There's internet on there. There's a booze cart, a booze and food cart. How long from L.A. to San Diego? How long?

A couple hours, two and a half or three. But driving L.A. to San Diego, could be six hours? Usually three. It's just traffic the whole way, though.

Yeah, it's a gun in your mouth. Southern California sucks when it comes to driving. It's bullshit. The infrastructure's shit. The roads are too small. There's too many fucking people. It sucks. So I'd rather do a train that stops all the time so I can just sit on my phone.

Boozing. Boozing. San Diego Padres got one of the nicest stadiums in the whole league. Potties are great. I love the potties. Petco is great. You're above and you go there. The stadium sits below ground level, which I think is cool.

Cool. Who else? San Francisco is great. No, but I'm missing one of my last ones. Let's see. Let's try to figure this out. Did you ever go to Kansas City Royals? Yes, I've been to a Royals game multiple times.

You ever been to Chicago Cubs? Come on, what are you talking about? Or to White Sox? I went to the World Series. I've been to both White Sox. Are you a Cubs or a White Sox fan? I'm a North Souter. I'm a Cubs fan.

Don't even ask me that. I don't know. I don't know what the rules are. You know better. You know better. What is it with New York, though? If you're a Yankees fan, it's just because. It's not because you're born somewhere.

Yeah, well, my... Because for us, it's North Side and South Side. See, for us, it's like, you know, I'm from Queens. I was born in Queens, so I should be a Mets fan. That's where they are. It's Queens. But my dad's born and raised in the Bronx, so he was a Yankees fan. So that's why I went Yankees.

But I think with New York, it's pretty much like Yankees fans don't necessarily hate the Mets. I mean, hate the Red Sox, of course. It's really like, you know, obviously if they're playing each other, whoever you want your team to win. But it's really about like New York first. Like if the Mets were in the World Series, me being a Yankee fan, I would root for the Mets. You would? I would. Because I'm rooting for New York. Right. So with Chicago, I don't think it's like that.

Like, if the White Sox were in the World Series... What, did you guys have your Twin Towers hit by Muhammad Atta? No. No. So that's why. We have the Sears Tower. And nobody's hitting that because it's dope. We got different tiers. Your two buildings were... That was... You know, in Britain, this means this is a middle finger. You know, two fingers is fuck you. That's what it was. That's what the ISIS thought that was. Those two Twin were, that was, that was, you know, in Britain, this means, this is a middle finger.

You know, two fingers is fuck you. That's what it was. That's what the ISIS thought that was. Those two twin towers like, hey, come, come, come fuck with us. Come fuck with your fangool. Your fangool. No, not with us, dude. We got Sears Tower.

Now it's called some other bullshit. It's called the Willis Tower. Willis Tower. Get out of town and come back. Whack. Come on, man. Whack, whack, whack. We got John Hancock. We got cool buildings with cool names.

You know what John Hancock's famous for? Signing his dick. First guy to sign it. First guy to sign with his dick, right? Didn't he sign it with his penis? He dipped his dick in the ink and signed it with his dick. Everyone was like, oh, for the pen. And John was like, that's fucking lame, dude.

Dipped his cock right in it. Lame-o. Signed it. Boom. Declaration of American. Oh, say can you see? Honestly, though. Honestly.

That's my go-to karaoke song every time, National Anthem. What is your real karaoke song? I swear to God, I'll usually sing the National Anthem, just throw people off, or Whitney Houston, So Emotional. Oh, my God, what a song. Yeah, fuck it. Honestly? Yeah.

My song is, if I were a rich girl, na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na. Such a good song. If I had all the money in the world, if I was a Rich Girl. Such a good song. If I had all the money in the world, if I was a wealthy girl. Such a good song. What can you say? I saw Gwen Stefani in Vegas two years ago. Really? Loved it.

Look at me. Loved it. Gwen Stefani, in my opinion. Did she bring out Jake Blake Shelton? Jake Blake Shelton? No. He didn't come out. I was bummed.

Really? Yeah. That's what I'm there for. Where is him? She is my number one. Gwen Stefani, to me, is the most beautiful woman ever on TV that I've ever seen. This is your number one? Gwen Stefani's my number one.

Like, if you could have a hall pass, she'd be the one you'd go to? Gwen Stefani wouldn't even be. Gwen Stefani. Betty White for me. Really? Betty White. Interesting. Just because of the history she's got in the comedy world.

So funny. She's a legend. Yeah, when you asked me earlier on the podcast about how old would it be, she'd be Really? Betty White. Interesting. Just because of the history she's got in the comedy world. Yeah, so funny. She's a legend. Yeah, when you asked me earlier on the podcast about how old would it be, she'd be it. Betty White. How old is Betty White now? Is she 100? I mean, what is Betty White? How old is Betty White? How old is Betty White? Betty White, she's

99. So what? I'm not, you know, so I guess I said 99 was my roof. Right. Good callback for me, by the way. Got it. That's huge. Good callback for me, big time. Great callback. Honestly, having you as a resident on this,

I want to be serious for a second, has been one of my best, this has been the best couple of weeks of my life because you vibe, don't cry, you vibe with me so well, and I love you, and I love the way your brain works, and of all the people that could have come out here

from New York, I'm glad it's you. Thank you. And can I ask you and I love the way your brain works and of all the people that could have come out here from New York I'm glad it's you. Thank you. And can I ask you something about New York? Yeah. Why do you think New York comics hate LA comics? Truly. Truly? Why do they hate us and we don't even know half of them? Like they don't really know. No I mean they don't even know us and they

hate us and every time I meet someone from New York I love them. Like Shane, like Gillis came out with some guys I didn't know and we had kind of known each other through the way but I love him. Like Shane, like Gillis came out with some guys I didn't know, and we had kind of known each other through the way, but I love that. I mean, that I love you. But it's also like I've showed respect to him and his crew because I like him already.

But why is it that New York guys inherently don't like us? I think what it comes down to is what people, what comedians in New York think. I'm just saying what they think. They think we're all hacks. They think because some of the comedy like is not coming from a real place.

Yeah. Which is generalizing because like they think it's a problem. So I have to live with roaches for a comedy to be real? Exactly. I have to live with mattresses

on the street? Like in New York at the Comedy Cellar let's just say or Gotham or Caroline's whatever. If you like did a joke about a unicorn

even if it crushed it, like, nah, it ain't real. I want to fucking... Make it about a horse. Make it about something real. A horse is real. A unicorn's not real. Yes, it's not real. Comedy is not meant to be taken serious. I know. The whole point, the weird thing about comedy as I get older is, the more guys I meet

that take this really serious, it's sad. I'm like, you know you tell jokes for money? We are pathetic. It's a pathetic thing. It's a. I'm like, you know you tell jokes for money? We are pathetic. It's a pathetic thing. It's a pathetic thing. The people... Stop pretending like it's important. The people...

First to die, by the way. I think that don't adapt. Like, you know, the podcasting is so big in LA. I'm like, there's still people, peers of mine, that are like, podcasts suck. I'm like, all right, dude. I mean, I don't want to take the bus anymore. So that's why I'm doing the podcast.

That's what Dylan said. Dylan goes, I go out to LA. Joe's got a fucking spaceship he takes to like, alright, dude. I don't want to take the bus anymore. That's why I'm doing the podcast. That's what Dylan said. Dylan goes, I go out to LA. Joe's got a fucking spaceship he takes to shows. I go to New York. I'm watching my heroes ride the train. I've seen him ride the L. It's true. Dylan transformed. He adapted, man. He belongs out here.

He belongs in the culture of fast moving shit. Everybody's in Austin now. Honestly, that's fine. I'm going to go down there and say hi to some of those guys. You'd fucking sell out. I would never. I can't move down there. I know.

I've talked to Rogan fucking today about going down there to do the show, to go do his show. And he was like, just wait. You'll want to move down here. And I go, I just bought my place. I couldn't afford to move. Like, I just got enough money to finally buy something. Right. In LA, which is very expensive.

It's absurd. It's disgusting. It's so dumb. The notary was at the house today signing for these refi papers that we had to do. And he wasn't. What? How do you know it's a good document? Because I had somebody else check it before he came to the house. But he even said, as I'm signing, I go,

ugh, disgusting. I'm looking at the numbers i go this is repulsive and he goes yeah man you can say it i i can't i can't comment he's like i just i see this every day and it makes me sad and i was like isn't that crazy that like this guy sees what houses are for nowadays and he just is like oh this is this is it's a ripple it's like it's like the house that you guys are staying in while you're here i bet you is unbelievably expensive because it's what four about five Because it's what, five bedrooms? It's four bedrooms with an in-ground pool. Yeah.

It's a nice house. It's a nice, in the valley. So right there, that's over a million. Well, it's cheaper than over the other side of the hill, right? In the city, it's more expensive. But even still, it depends on where you are because some parts of the valley are fans. Yeah. And I know you're fans where you are.

You guys are, it's a nice house. You're probably a million and a half, $2 million house. Yeah, well, just to Airbnb, it's something like $20,000 a month. Oh my God, dude. So that's going to be like, I mean, I'm not paying for that shit. 20 G's a month.

Production. Hey, production. Truth TV. Can we talk about that for a second real fast? Yeah, please. The show is going to air. When is it going to air? The show called Backyard Bar Wars,

hashtag BBW, is going to air. BBW. The first or second week of July. Do they know that that stands for Big Beautiful Women? Yeah. And they don't care? So far they don't care. Has the marketing caught up to it or do you think they just

are so ignorant they don't know? Well now we have a big marketing call tomorrow and they asked me specifically the show creator said to not do the BBW joke for the ad agencies. Why? Because people don't want to have fun. But that's what I mean is like it's harmless it's ridiculous and it's not even a thing that like what what about that would upset somebody that you're like it's a common phrase that people know right it's in the social zeitgeist of conversation so what about it is offensive dude because by the

way it's celebrating big beautiful men and by the way bbw on pornhub i thought it was black beautiful women big beautiful woman that's why the way, BBW on Pornhub. I thought it was black beautiful women. Big beautiful woman. That's probably why for you because you keep going around going black beautiful women. Yeah, black beautiful women. But that doesn't make sense, right? It's like one of these things. It's like people – I think a lot of times people just come – it's just fear. And I get it that like especially if you're a TV network, you have to – there's a lot of things you have to do.

A lot of people you have to please. if you're a TV network, you have to, there's a lot of things you have to do, you know, a lot of people you have to please, but it genuinely is fear because it's like, I did a joke on a podcast a couple of days ago about like all the stuff that was happening, like with the shootings and all that stuff to stop the Asian hate. And I said on the podcast and somebody was Asian in the room, I, Joe, I was like, I was like, Hey, like, you know, a lot of people are like tweeting out hashtags and stuff like that. White people trying to look, I'm actually out there. I'm giving people happy endings. That's what I'm doing is I'm taking over like, you know, like

what the Asians are in harm's way. I'm going to do the happy endings. That's how I'm stopping it and coming together. Is that a stand-up show? Yeah. Everything was fine. Everything was fine. Then cut forward to today, I'm on set. I'm doing jokes. You know, doing little jokes. They asked me to do a certain type of joke about a washing machine.

I'm like, oh, make up a name like one of your friends from Brooklyn. So I improv like 20,000 names, Billy bubbles, Sammy suds. And then after the 10th take, they were like, I give me one more. And I said, I Korean can stop down safety meeting. You know, you can't say that fly in, fly in, fly in them, get them right now. Yeah. Yeah. They're like, you can't say that that's Asian. I'm like, I just like, that's whyian i'm like i just like that's why i like doing a podcast and being in the internet space so much is because i don't have to be in the box but i get with tv i get that you have to be in the box because there's a lot of because you're literally in in their box you're in their box yeah there's but there's a lot of things like

you know when you put a show on a cable network it's not just you know the whiskey ginger audience it's all different they don't just watch the show you're watching just you know the whiskey ginger audience it's all different they don't just watch the show you're watching they you know the truth the cable network will have 10 different shows at a piece different but it's impossible when you're when you're a comic right and you're doing that at a show you do that joke at a show everyone going to that show has to know sure it's a joke and you don't and you don't mean harm you don't wish negativity it's like no so at some point when are we all going to admit that in these worlds, we just have to be okay with the idea that like

comedy is going to exist and it is just making fun of uncomfortable people sometimes. It has to exist. Guess what, baby? Anytime like a socialism, fascism movement comes in, I mean, who did Hitler kill first?

The artists, the comedians, the entertainers. That's what they're trying to kill first now. We should be killed first, by the way. 100%. What am I going to contribute?

If there is another dictator that comes along that kills everybody, you know we're going first. That being said, I will consume less than him, so if that means anything, if you're listening, because he will snacky snack, and I won't. I got news for you.

There is another dictator. You know what her name is? AOC. You have such a big crush on her. It's ridiculous. Oh, God. Are you kidding me? She's my number two.

Gwen Stefani, number one. Love, love her. Wait, tell me what's your secret snack, your favorite, your guilty pleasure snack, because I do want to know so I can buy it for you in droves. My guilty pleasure snack? Yeah, like the black and white cookie we talked about,

but like what's the one thing that you like really, that you will go get tonight if you had a craving? Like if you're going to the stores at a candy bar? No, no, no. If I have any craving, what I do, I'd be like, oh, I really can't eat this. Like just in a wrapper, like a candy. Kit Kat. You love Kit Kats.

Yeah. I got a Snickers the other night when I went out with a friend. Snickers to me is like I want it. I need it. And sometimes, and the old bag, like take five, you know, take five. Sure. And there's two of those in there. So I'll get the four pack.

So I'll be like, you get two and I get two. I there's two of those in there. So I'll get the four packs. I'll be like, you get two and I get two. I should just have one, but it's too hard for me, man. It's too hard. Sweets are hard for me. And they've only been this way now that I've gotten older. Why is that? When I was younger, actually, we didn't eat sweets. My mom would have let us had anything.

We just didn't do it. You didn't do it. I, yeah, see, I'm, I try to not give my kid sweets because I know I was given sweets so much and how truly addictive sugar is. Like truly addictive. It is like I've been trying so hard to like cut back and count calories, but I usually just

have to leave at least 500 to 700 calories at night because I'm just going to hit some sweets. Do you sad eat? Are you like sad? Yeah. Oh, Chrissy. Next time you want to sad eat, why don't you pick up the phone and call Papa Red and just say, hey baby, I want to sad eat, and then I'll talk you off the ledge,

or we'll sad eat together. Let's do that. Would you rather sad eat together? Yeah, I want to sad eat with you. I want to go get some tacos. I'm hungry. Let's go get some tacos. Okay, fine.

I love you once again. I love you. Hopefully you're going to be here for a little bit more of the residency. You tell me. I'm here till you throw me out, babe. No, you're here as long as I need you to be here. Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you.

I end the episode the same way, and you know it's one word or one phrase right into that camera. Say it when you're ready. I'm walking away now. One word or one phrase. I always forget to think about this, so I like to just wing it from the top. One word or one phrase I want to say. One word or one phrase I want to say Kamala Harris.