Whiskey Ginger with Andrew Santino - Cristina Mariani Joins The Show!

Episode Date: October 3, 2025

Comedy riser Cristina Mariani (Kill Tony, Comedy Mothership) joins Santino for a rapid-fire hang on writing fearless jokes, eating a bomb with style, and turning internet heat into real tickets. We talk the HOTISTIC TOUR, crowd-work instincts, how to build an hour fast, and why brutal honesty beats “likable” every time. If you love sharp, unfiltered stand-up, this one’s a blast. Clip it, share it, and tell us your favorite Cristina bit. 🍊 FOLLOW CRISTINA • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/criimarii/ • Website: https://cristinamariani.com FOLLOW SANTINO & THE SHOW • SANTINO IG: https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino/ • WHISKEY GINGER IG: https://www.instagram.com/whiskeygingerpodcast #WhiskeyGinger #CristinaMariani #AndrewSantino #KillTony #ComedyMothership #TheComedyStore #StandUpComedy #ComedyPodcast ======================================================== Sponsor Whiskey Ginger: https://public.liveread.io/media-kit/whiskeyginger SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS HUEL USE PROMO CODE: WHISKEY SAVE 15% OFF YOUR ORDER https://huel.com/whiskey ZOCDOC BOOK LOCAL DOCTORS https://zocdoc.com/whiskey SQUARESPACE GET 10% OFF YOUR ORDER https://squarespace.com/whiskey ====================================================== Follow Andrew Santino: https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino/ https://twitter.com/CheetoSantino Follow Whiskey Ginger: https://www.instagram.com/whiskeygingerpodcast https://twitter.com/whiskeygingerpodcast Produced and edited by Joe Faria https://www.instagram.com/itsjoefaria Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What up, Whiskey, Ginger fans. Welcome back to the show. It's your first time joining the show. Welcome to the show. Hey, I am on the road and I want to see you. So come see me. I'm doing a bunch of new dates. I've just released. I'm going to San Francisco playing the punchline up there. Then I'm going to the Brea Improv. Brea Show Up, Southern California. The Tempe Improv, my old home, my stomping ground, horseshoe casino and Hammond, Indiana. Then in the New Year, I'm out in Windsor, Ontario, Canada, Bethlehem, PA, Hanover, Maryland, Borgad, and Atlantic City, Harris, in Valley Center, which is down by San Diego. And finally, we just added the Win Casino in Las Vegas in March. Come see me, Viva Las Vegas.

The pre-sale code of it's still up there, Santino. Andrewsantino.com for those tickets, Andrews Santino.com. In here, we pour whiskey, whisk, whisk, whisk, whisked, whisk. You were that creature in the ginger beard. Sturdy and ginger. Like that has, the ginger gene is a curse. Ginger's a fugitive. You want me $5 for the whiskey and $75 for the horse.

Ginger's all hell now. This whiskey is. Ginger I like gingers Ladies and gentlemen Welcome back to Whiskey Dinner My guest today is one of my favorite people I don't know if I say that for all my guest

But I mean once again today It's Christine the Mariani Ciao Ciao Good to meet you We've never met before I've seen you on the inner web Oh nice

I've seen you on internet You kind of got A lot of movement on the internet That I saw From my old man Viewing perspective of the internet through Kill Tony, yeah? Mm-hmm.

Kiltoni was kind of the beginning. Yeah. Are you nervous? No. I'm never nervous. You're just kidding. Okay. I'm a little bit nervous.

You shouldn't be. Why would you be? You're fine. Well, because I'm in deep shit, you said. You did. You showed up 18 minutes late. No. And then I got a text message from someone who helps book the show, and she said,

she's running late, she's in traffic. And I thought, maybe she doesn't know Los Angeles. or Southern California traffic. You're from Stockton, so you know California. Yeah. No excuse. Yeah, I know. Literally no excuse.

I said, you're in deep shit, pal. I'm staying at the intercontinental. I just said that wrong. Intercontinental. Yeah, I think we got it. Yeah, I just said it right. Yeah. The intercontinental hotel.

Yeah, and you have to go all the way to the top just to go back to the bottom. So that's why I was like. What do you mean you got to go to the top? So you have the lobbies at the... That's the story of the business, by the way. That's the biz. kid you get used to it it's gonna happen you gotta go up to go down baby yeah the lobby is upstairs yeah it's oh i know this right where they do that yeah i've seen this in hotels yeah but so you have to

go to the lobby and then to go all the way back down and then to go to your room you have to go up to go to the and it sounds like a cool idea until you have to do it a few times and then you know you miss your lift because there's like a line you miss your lift yeah so did your sister travel with you all the time no she lives in stockton still so she just came with me. That's not sweet. Yeah, it's nice. What is she doing in Stockton?

She works in insurance. That's what I used to do, too. You did insurance? Yeah. Sales? No, I was an underwriter. Oh my God, what a nightmare. Yeah, it wasn't.

But it was weed insurance. Oh, that's pretty cool. I mean, no, it's still insurance. No, it's still insurance. It doesn't really matter. It doesn't matter. I'd like to add the weed thing, so it seems edgy, but I just priced it. I didn't even get to.

You didn't even get to, like, haggle and negotiate and make it fun for people that you liked? I didn't even get to smoke or anything. Do you smoke weed? I do. Do you drink alcohol? Uh-huh. Do you do drugs? I mean, sometimes.

What drugs do you do? I don't know. It depends on the occasion, you know? Like, where am I? All right, like a funeral. Oh, Molly. Nice. Nice.

You know. A child's birthday party, like your friend's kid's birthday. Molly. Molly again? Yeah. Yeah, it seems like Molly is the drug you got to do. No, I'm kidding. I actually get anxiety attacks on Molly a lot of the time.

You seem like you get anxiety. text in general. Yeah, yeah. Do you? Sometimes. I used to get them. It's all good. Yeah.

I used to have them a lot. Really? Yeah, I had them a lot in my 20s. I got a ton in my 20s. And then I kind of phased out of it once I realized that you don't have to be worried about everything because everything is terrible. So then if you kind of, if that's the perspective, you're like, oh, that's fine. It's all shit.

It's not going to get better or worse. It's just going to keep being bad. Okay. That's nice. Yeah. Just take a breath and know that it's fucking shit anyway. It's over. No, I...

The rock is going to hit us soon and we're all going to die and nobody gives a shit. No, I don't think that's going to happen. I think it's going to be like a nuclear war or something. Oh, nuke shit would be cool. I don't think... See, somebody said yesterday, Dermer said this. He was actually clever. Was that you and I were talking about those Waymo cars?

That's what the terrorists are going to take over. When we start to automate everything, they're just going to hack into that shit and then those things will kill. Waymos will just be killing people at random. But then how are the Waymo's going to get 72 virgins? How do you know the Waymos are Muslim? Well, because you said the terrorists are going to. Yeah, but they're controlling them. The cars themselves aren't going to get virgins.

No, like Virgin Waymoes. Virgin Waymo. They've never had a passenger inside of them. No one's ever been in there. 72 Virgin Waymos. No, I think the world is fine. We'll figure it out. It doesn't matter.

You're 28. You're four years in a comedy. The world is yours. And you live in Austin? Yeah. uh four years in you moved to austin how long ago um i moved to austin in uh four years ago that's where i started comedy oh you moved and started yeah so that was your goal were you like i got to get out of stockton i'm moving to taxes to start yeah uh well actually i didn't know i was going to start

comedy i um i moved to austin because i was in insurance and it went remote you know you but you go down did you go down because of the rogan move and all that shit and the no i just uh i got bored like working remote. And so then I was like, I'm going to travel and Texas doesn't have COVID like restrictions as bad. And so then I went to Texas and then I wanted to do stuff to challenge myself and comedy was one of those things that made me nervous, public speaking. So then I did it and then I really liked it. And then I've just been doing it. Wow. Yeah. So it was never like a dream. This was like something you were like, maybe I'll try it. Well, I kind of had it in the back of my head. But I didn't think it was something I could realistically do. I grew up in a really like practical

family like my dad wanted everyone's in insurance no um no but my dad wanted me to be a lawyer and um the insurance was kind of like i was gonna study to go to law school and that was just a job in the meantime kind of like um but i just would have been really bored and i'm not organized at all you're very disorganized i'm really perfect for comedy yeah that's like perfect that's like comedy heaven yeah i'm just like really scatterbrained are what i don't know scatterbrain is like something that you're parents say when you're a kid when you're just not paying attention but you feel like you're a well put together adult i think maybe you're more than you're giving yourself credit for you think i'm a well put together adult yeah you seem like you're a well put together adult oh thanks yeah you seem like

a well put together adult too i'm an old guy so at this point i have to be i'm an old white and when you become an old white in your 40s you got to really get it together yeah yeah kind of you don't think so i don't know you're how many old whites do you know i i mean my dad and his friends and now you and not me how old is your dad um he's born in 59 okay yeah he's a mature old white yeah my mom is born in 68 so they have a little bit of a age gap yeah i don't know why i said that i just overshared that i just thought of that put it out there are they still in stockton yeah they're in stockton hey margot hey dave no that's not their name oh it's not you don't have to say their name okay yeah i shouldn't actually oh my god what if they

What do they get harassed or something by terrace? We're going to put her parents social right here on the screen right now and freeze frame on her and put the socials right there on their home address and their phone numbers, please. So you're full Italian. Yeah. And your mom is an Italian lady? My mom.

Yeah, she doesn't even speak English, really. Italians are my first language. Shut up. I swear to God, I moved here from Italy. Shut up. Yeah, I did. Really? Yeah, well, I was born here, and then I moved to Italy and then moved back.

And so, yeah. mom and dad are so you're first gen uh i'm one and a half because my dad was born here but my mom was born in italy wow where in italy uh corfino corfino and you see and you're fluent yeah that's wonderful mm-hmm yeah you don't i mean i i i know i don't have an accent because i got bullied out of it because i wanted to seem normal oh yeah you wanted so i really tried really hard to not have an italian accent and then i finally got rid of it but i still act kind of foreign you know you definitely act foreign a little bit foreign but i don't have have an accent so now people are like oh she's autistic so now i wish i still had talked like this

there you go so i see my normal you're not autistic though i don't know i don't i think i don't know i think i don't know i think okay thank you yeah me think so yeah no you're not autistic i don't know are you doctor yeah i was yeah yeah i was a first generation doctor yeah one and a half generation doctor that's uh that's nice um your parents must be proud they're not are you also italian santino yeah i'm

my dad is and my mom's uh take a guess uh a Viking my mom was Viking yeah my mom was actually yeah okay

big pillager my mother Maureen the pillager that's what they called her back in the day my mother's Irish Irish you could have guessed that any of the Scottish Irish English it's the kind of the triangle

of red sadness is it's funny that that that's what um you should showed up as I feel like darker features are more dominant yeah dominant well I have brown eyes which is pretty rare for redheads a lot of redheads have lighter eyes uh they look lighter to me my eyes yeah they look kind of orange but maybe it's because of the orange surrounding them and it's bringing out the orange yeah it could be I don't know are you colorblind um no I don't know what color is

your shirt uh red I try to match you today I has felt very nice of you thank you thank you I appreciate it. Yeah, I thought it would look nice. I tried to match you. Thanks. You got it. Stockton, Italy, Stockton. You know that nail polish that you can wear and it changes color?

No. Well, there's a nail polish that you can wear and it changes color if your drink gets roofied. You've heard of it. What? Yeah. There's a nail polish you wear to check your, well, what do you do? You put your finger in your drink? I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't understand the math on this.

Well, the reason I thought of it is because you said, you asked me if I was colorblind and it just made me think, that must suck to find out that's how you're colorblind. If you get roofied. If you get roofied and you can't tell. I'm sorry. No, that's great. But how does that work on your fucking nails? Is it because you're holding the glass? Maybe like you're... No, you have to dip your finger in it. How else would you know? Oh, I figured it was you drink it. Oh, and then it changed. Well, then it's too late. That's fucking awful. That's not proactive.

Yeah, but then you see it changing and you're like, I have to get out of here. It's too late. Maybe it changes to gradients. I have to get out of here. I have to go to the bathroom first. I'll be right back. No shit. This is bad science.

Yeah, they're all written in 2017 and there hasn't been any new articles. Yeah, that's a bad idea. That's a fucking terrible idea. However, a good idea would be, a good idea would be to, like every time you do get a drink if you could drop like a sugar pill in there and the sugar pill could tell and it would change the color of your drink or maybe instead of roofing a drink you put mollie in there then it's consensual that's exactly i think that's way better yeah you said it not me because if when you're on molly i think like then people will be just loving and in a loving

vibe right i think evil people still break through molly oh you think like molly wouldn't make them loving it would make them more evil i think so yeah i think if you're evil at your core you're going to be evil on Molly. You think anyone's really evil at their core? Yeah. Really? Yeah. There's been a pretty good list of people that have done it pretty publicly.

But do you think they thought they were doing some, like the terrorist thing again? They think they're doing the right thing. Do you think like Hitler thought he was doing the right thing too? And wasn't he? No. No, that was bad. That was very bad. No, it was bad.

Hitler, no, I'm saying there are people who I believe are born, that born broken. I do think that's a real thing. I think people break, but I do think you're. I think if a terrorist is recruited, they may not have that evil intention, but they're convinced. But I do think there's people that are born broken. Like they talk about, what's his name? Come on, dude, Dahmer. That, like, even as a child, he was cracked.

And they found him, like, dissecting animals all the time and killing stuff, and he was cracked as a kid. Some people were meant to be broken. Well, because everyone has, like, a darkness, like their shadow, you know? Yeah. And then the light, and then it mediates, and then that's what you are. But then some people make the shadow more like, and some people are sociopaths, so then they don't even know, like, the difference. They just do whatever they want because they can't feel like.

They can't feel anything. Yeah, but. What's your shadow? My shadow, I don't, you know, I feel bad about everything. I feel guilty all the time about. Why? I grew up Catholic, so I think that, like, really, you two? Yeah. Yeah, so I always am like, I won't even like do any. I want to be petty so bad a lot of the times. And then I'm like, no, that's bad. I shouldn't do that. Even though it would feel so good because it feels good to be petty sometimes. Sometimes. Depend on who, are you petty about people that have like done you wrong or said something rude or mean to you or something?

Okay, so, for example, one time, this guy, he asked if I wanted to go see Adam Sandler, because that's my favorite comedian. And I was like, yeah, sure, I'll go with you. And, you know, he was like, this millionaire or something like that. And then he, you know, he did something because I didn't want to hang out with him more than just going to see that. And so then he, like, kind of like dangled it in front of me like a carrot. Like, oh, I guess we won't go and see that then. And I was like, okay, that's fine because I don't want to, like, I didn't want to do it that bad. But he, like, really rubbed it in my face.

So, so I bought Adam Sandler tickets right in the front row. Like, they were like a grand. They were so expensive. I did not have that money. And I drove three hours. And then he sent me a picture of, oh, look at the seats, like, that I have. And my seats were way better. So then I sent him a picture back and I sent the Adam Sandler meme.

Somebody's closer. I know from Happy Gilmore. That's very good. And it was so worth it that I felt so good and I blocked him. And I think that's like one of the pettiest things I've ever done it. But that's right. Yeah. I couldn't make rent that month.

But I was like I got that guy. I fucking got him. You got that guy. Yeah, I felt really good about it. Fuck rent. Yeah. But now you're fine. Are you making good money in comedy now?

Like you're making a living? Oh, yeah. Now I live off of comedy. Yeah. That's amazing. Yeah. Well, how far into it, how far into it did you quit your job right away? No, when I went on the road with Theo, that's when I, and I got fired.

I didn't quit, but it was good timing. No, no, my insurance company fired me, as they should. They should have done it sooner, to be honest. I wasn't very good at my job. Hopefully there's some terrorists. There aren't very good at their jobs. Not to go back to that. You do keep going back to it.

I didn't mean to. No, you can do. I'm sorry, my brain is a... If you love terrorists, man, just get it all out. No, no, no. I just, a terrorist that's bad at his job is a good person. That is true, I think. A bad terrorist is a good guy. A bad terrorist is a good guy.

Do you hang around terrorists at all? No, I don't think so. Who's your network of people in Austin now? Like, who have you found it? Have you created good friendship from the comedy world? Do you prefer to stick outside of it? I usually am around comedians, but I'm also very, I kind of keep to myself a lot. I have a few people that I'm close with, but,

I don't really hang out too much, you know? I kind of just, I do my spots, and then I go home and I write, and I have just a few close friends that I hang out with. That's good. Yeah. You got any animals? No. Let's get you an animal.

No. You don't like animals? Yeah. I like them, but I just, I would accidentally kill it. You think? All my plants have died. So that's a good test that I probably shouldn't have an animal. If you can't keep a plant, you can't keep a dog?

If I can't keep a plant, I can't, yeah, keep a cat or a dog or maybe a cat. Cats are pretty self-sufficient. Yeah, but, yeah, I don't think I would want an animal. My mom never let us have pets growing up, too, so it's kind of like soda. I was never allowed to drink soda, so now I don't have a taste for it, you know? Now I don't have a taste for pets. Thank God. Your mother never let you have soda at all?

No. That was a big no-no, huh? Yeah, it was a big no-no. Nona from the Nona. Yeah. What, what, what, what it, what it, what it, you were, like, embroiled in the church as a kid and then did, at some point, did you, like, tell them, I don't want to do this anymore?

Oh, yeah. One time, I, when I realized they didn't want to go to church anymore, it was a huge deal. Like, my dad got really mad at me. Yeah. What do you mean you don't want to go to church? No, my dad, my dad speaks, like, without, he's. Yeah, but for the sake of the best. Yeah, you're right.

You're right. Why don't you want to go to church? I'm your dad. Yeah, okay. Why wouldn't you not to go to church? That's it. It's a silly. I don't believe in it.

You don't believe. I believe there's a something there, but I don't want to feel guilty all the time. In here, we pour whiskey. Hey, for me in the mornings, they're very chaotic. I don't have time to sit down in either. to breakfast, nor do I really love having a full big meal when I start my day. Thanks to Hewle. Look at this.

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try both today with 15% off your purchase for new customers with our exclusive code whiskey go to huel dot com slash whiskey huel dot com slash whiskey use my code and fill out the post checkout survey to help support this show ginger i like genders so now i'm like really into crystals oh yeah i went from catholicism to to crystals to the universe and so Spencer Pratt, dude. Shout out Spencer P. He's the crystal guy. Do you know about this dude? No. We were talking about him yesterday. He's from the Hills, the TV show The Hills, and he's a big crystal guy. But he's suing the city of L.A. because his house burned down to Malibu. Crazy fun story. Not a crystal for that.

It's not a crystal for that, dude. That's fucked up. I'm really sorry about your house. Well, I mean, we don't know. Oh, okay. I didn't know. No, God bless. I hope he's fine. Give me a crystal. A crystal? Yeah, can I have one? Do you have them with you? No, I don't have any with me. Do you collect them, though?

I have crystals. Like, it depends. Sometimes, and it's not, now I seem like weird, but if I go into a crystal shop because there's one around, you know, I'll like, I'll vibe with a certain. I'll be like, oh, this one. And it depends, too. Like, around my period, I get more crystals because I'm feeling more. Emotional. You know, so I'll be like, oh, this one gives you love.

Let me grab a few of those, you know. Are they expensive crystals? I don't know anything about them. Some of them are expensive and some of them are. as expensive but what's the most of you paid for a crystal I don't know like like Adam Sandler tickets

no oh my god that's no see I wasn't gonna go to that either if he didn't make me feel like oh I'm doing you know he was trying to hook up with you and you were like I'm not interested and he's like well if you don't hook up with me you can't come to the show yeah and I'm like you think that I can't do this by myself right and at the time I really was financially not you're like I really can't do this by myself but I will

Just to prove a point You know? Petty shit is rad sometimes Sometimes petty stuff is good Because it's if it's deserved That does that that deserve for you to be petty Yeah I didn't feel like I was hurting anyone That was more just like

That guy ended up killing himself by the way You think so? Because of that yeah 100% I don't know I can't believe she got closer Yeah Bitch Fuck him

Who cares dude we don't need that guy And you blocked him That's pretty red Imagine him listening to the show He follows your every step And now he hates me by proxy because of her. Yeah, now he comes and he finds you somehow.

I don't know. And then takes me to an Adam Sandler concert. He's a compulsive liar. Oh, yeah. So this was bound to not work. Well, yeah, yeah. Well, fuck that guy. He's in the past.

We don't need that guy around. Bad energy, dude. No, no. And we got good energy with crystals. Yeah, good energy with crystals. Some crystals are more intense than other crystals, but we don't have to keep talking about crystals. I'm really not that into them.

I mean, I think they're cool. But, you know. What's your thing, then? what's my thing yeah like what do you do outside of comedy what is your kind of like um i i write but that's comedy related what's outside of comedy for you um i i used to run i ran half a marathon earlier this year uh nice yeah because i was really really anxious and like going through it but uh then when i feel happier i don't feel like i even need to do that i like i like going to the movies i have a month past to alamo draft house i don't know do they

have it in L.A. We do. They're all over the country. Those things are pretty fucking rad. But it's nice. Sometimes I like to go to the movies by myself. Solo, yeah? Solo movie is way better than solo than with friends. Solo to me, I've learned is way better. I like, I just think it's nicer. You really get to enjoy it and you don't have to talk to anybody about it. Oh, it's super nice. And then I can take a nap. Sometimes I'll go and I don't even like, I don't even care about what the movie is. I just like to be in the chair and like get food and then I like kind of pass out. and it's just nice. You miss the movie.

Yeah, I miss the movie, but it's okay. You never know if you're going to like the movie, so if you don't, then you can take a nap because the seats are so comfortable. That's why they started doing that. Because movies are getting shittier, so they're like, just make them nice seats so in case they fucking pass out,

doesn't have that going to complain. What's the last movie you watched that you liked? The last movie I saw was Honey Don't, the Ethan Cohen movie. I just saw that. And then I want to go see. I think I'm going to see weapons tonight. Oh, I heard that one's really scary, so I haven't seen it.

You don't like scary movies? No, I love scary movies. Oh, you do? But I just got, I read the description and it was like, it had to do with kids. So stuff with kids kind of like. Is it? Oh. Yeah, so things with kids, I'm like, like that one movie with Jennifer Lawrence where there's the baby and the baby dies at the end.

Spoiler. Yeah, I don't know. You just ruined it finally. I'm so sorry. Mother? I don't remember that. yeah yeah but at the end the baby dies and they pass it around and uh i don't like stuff like that i don't like same babies

kids no kid stuff dead kid stuff is weird that stuff i don't like that kind of stuff well they inject kids and horror often because kids when they're creepy are creepier a creepy child is weirder than a creepy adult because the juxtaposition between the innocence of a kid and like the evilness and because they're not fully developed so their faces look weird so when they make a weird face you're like ew it looks like even scarier when a little kid's like yeah you're like oh my god it's kind of like the smile movies too it's so like creepy because a smile is supposed to be something inviting and like nice you know but then the eyes are like evil and then the smile and it's just like that doesn't go

together and so you feel uncomfortable yeah do you like feeling uncomfortable yeah i do i'm always uncomfortable but i think i need to be or also find something to get like if i don't have If I'm not constantly stressed out, I'll do something to stress. I'll find something in the catalog of memories that I'm like, oh, what about that thing a few years ago that, like, hurt your feelings? They're like, this problem that never got resolved. You should probably fixate on that. So it's nice to always be stressed out on the road and, like, performing. That's nice.

I kind of like that, yeah. Are you on the road right now? Yeah, I'm going to New Orleans next. Oh, man, I fucking. You like it? Hate it. Oh, why? I actually hate it.

I hated my time down there, didn't I? Something didn't line up. I just didn't like it. Where are you playing? I don't know. That disorganized thing really is kicking in. I know, I told you. And I'm very ADHD and scattered too.

Scatterbrand. Yeah, we said that. No, I had a fun time in New Orleans. It was just a, it's an interesting city. It's an odd city. I can't put my finger on it. Yeah. You know, Mark Normand?

Yeah. He's from there. Oh. Do you see what I'm saying? Yeah. Like, the guy makes no sense. And he's a good friend of mine. I can't even figure that guy out at all.

He's New Orleans. If New Orleans is a person, it's Norman. Hey. Yeah, he... I'm gay. He does act pretty black. Christina. Yeah, he does.

He thinks he's black. I'm like, oh, that's what I do. That's what I do. Instead of... I don't act Italian. I'm American... That's the disconnect. It's like, oh, he's acting so black, but he's a white guy.

What is that about it? Where's the... Connection, Mark. Yeah, New Orleans, you'll have fun. Are you solo on the road? No, I travel with my, he's a comedian, Ridge Hirshberger. He's my feature, and I take him on the road with me everywhere. And then I alternate with people that open for me sometimes.

Ridge Hirshberger? Yeah, he's been on Kill Tony a few times, too. Ridge Hirshberger. I thought of, is there a kid named Ron Hirshberg? There's another kid named Ran Hirshberg. or I only know the one but I'm sure there's others yeah I think that name is from it and it's not the same guy I don't think no it's Hirschberger yeah not Jewish surprisingly no no yeah he's he also is not Jewish maybe it is the same guy it's the same guy yeah

how is this guy not Jewish um I don't know Berger I know I don't know he's running away from something actually I think he might be German he might be the opposite no there's a lot of German Jews, actually. Wow. I should have just let you land that joke, but genuinely... No, there wasn't a joke. There's a lot of German Jews. There's a lot of... Are we supposed to be joking?

No, not at all. You should take this a little bit more serious. Okay. Being on time would have been a good way to start. I'm so sorry. So you go with Ridge. Yeah. Rich or Ridge? Ridge.

Like the ridge of a... Like a mountain. That's what he says. He has a joke where he says. Ridge, Hershberger. Ridge like the mountain. And you guys are... And you guys are old friends. or do you meet in the Kill Tony scene? No, we met in a hostel in Austin.

When I moved to Austin, he moved to Austin, and we were in the same hostel. And you were like, hey, I'm doing comedies like me too, and then you came besties. Actually, a lot of comedians kind of stayed in that. Yeah, I think, I don't know. Maybe it was a, I wasn't doing comedy when I moved there, but a lot of them were like there because of the road, you know, the club.

Yeah, then I kind of got lucky. It was something I always, like, kind of thought in the back of my head, like, oh, comedy would be cool. you know but uh and so then i wanted to try it and then i finally did it and they were all one of the comedians actually took me to my first open mike who was it i don't remember good it's nice they're gone they're in your rear view now man fuck them dude you move up and on yeah i don't know yeah forget where you came from you know what i mean no no no no no nonsense are you gonna be are you gonna be has anyone come out of stockton has there ever been your comics i come out of

stockton i don't know look that up i'm kind of curious to know you could what if you become the Stockton comedian, the most famous comedian from Stockton that's kind of rad. Yeah.

That would be awesome. It would be fucking great. That would be cool. Because Stockton is nobody, right? I mean, the Diaz brothers,

but they... No, they're fighters. I know. I don't know. I know. But, you know, the Stockton slap's kind of funny.

Like, when did he, like, I assume. Yeah, it is very funny, actually. Yeah, it's a kind of a funny thing to do to make it. I went out with them

one time with Nate and Shane and it was fucking it was insane because he traveled with like 30 dudes, and they party as hard as anybody's ever partied. But yes, the fighters from Stockton, the bros, but you're the only

comic. We're going to stamp you as the greatest comedian from Stockton. Thank you. Live on this show. All right. How does that feel? Did anything change? I don't know. I felt a little good on the inside, a little less anxious, so that's good. What makes you feel the least anxious?

Well, you know, when I smoke weed now, when I first started smoking weed, I get panic attacks. But then I just, like, persisted, you know? You got to push through? I just pushed through it, and then I just, like. You feel good? Are you high right now? No, I kind of wish I was, though, so I could, like, be looser.

You're loose. You're fine. Yeah? I mean, I think so. You know, you've been on a podcast run. I've seen you on a few. You did gyms, right? You did gym. Did you do gym more than once? Oh, yeah, yeah. No, I did gym the one time, but... He's the best. He's the best. Did you meet his wife? No, I didn't.

Really? Yeah. She's more fun than him. Really? Yeah, she's, well, she's just, she's bolder and louder and says more wild shit. Jim says wild shit. Yeah. She says wild ass shit, too.

Oh, cool. That makes sense why they're together. They're phenomenal. Yeah, they're both fucking great. But you're doing a bunch of different podcasts, and I think you're killing. I think you might be, you know, not what you want it to be. But next time I should have told you just get high. Yeah.

Maybe we could get high together. I would love that. I would love to get high with you. Yeah. Yeah, do you do edibles or do you smoke weed? Well, you know, with edibles, it's kind of like a waiting game, like, oh, how's this going to hit me, you know, and when? Yeah. Sometimes it's hours before I feel it with an edible.

Hours, plural. Usually I get within the first hour, it usually gets me. Usually, yeah. Usually it's not that long, but sometimes you think you're not high and then it hits you when you're like... Hard. Yeah. Yeah. When you're in TSA and you're like, fuck, dude.

Yeah. But like when I smoke, I can pretty immediately, like... So usually I'll smoke. I like to smoke, see? me too i like to smoke i've always preferred smoking a joint over all the i also don't like the vap pens i don't like those the like weed vape pens yeah taste weird it doesn't taste the way i want weed to taste even sometimes good edibles taste like you smoked weed yeah and you're like this is kind of nice it reminds me when i do the vape pens i every time i smoke one of those weed vape

pens i feel i feel robotic you the same kind of high either like it's not as a feels electric high i feel like it's a kind of feels like synthetic high yeah kind of like you're it's delta or something yeah like the shit from the gas station yeah which isn't as dude i did that one time i hid that stuff's fucking yuck have you ever done that shit the worst never again it still gets you really high but it's not a nice it's an uncomfortable it's not a high i like no me either yeah i'll get stone with you right now well i don't have any weed on me right now oh okay i'm sorry did i let you down yeah we might have weed in the studio somewhere if i'm being honest there's so much drugs and nonsense in this studio not illegal drugs okay good there's

mostly prescription drugs because of me being an old white there's statins out there there's all sorts of stuff out there for me you're not on any prescription medication are you no too young too healthy too alive i i take vitamins flintzown no okay i take like uh the the fish one what's the fish one omega three fatty oh yeah oh yeah that's really good for you yeah i think it's been helping with the brain fog that i get do you really get bad brain fog Yeah, well, sometimes I'll, like, start a sentence and then I'll forget kind of like, oh, what were I, what was I going with that? You know, or like... That's, see, I have this problem because I get worried about my memory.

Yeah, me too. But when I talk to my doctor and he said it's more about, uh, he said it's more about, like, manic thoughts. Like, if I've got a lot of stuff going on, it's clogging up the portion of my brain that usually functions in a smooth path. So he's like, that's because you're like your anxiety is making you feel like you're forgetting stuff. But you're really not. Because you know how the next day you'll remember it very clearly? No. Oh, you won't go back to that?

No, maybe I have memory. Now I'm worried again. You made me feel better, and now I'm like, oh. Shit, I'm sorry. No, I don't. Because, yeah. But maybe what if I do remember it, but I just didn't know that I, that was the thing from yesterday. But it is because I forgot it.

Does that make sense? But if you live in the now, it doesn't matter then. Yeah, that's true. Then you remembered it for the moment being, right? Mm-hmm. When you said you run, how far do you typically run? Well, now I'm like... You're not running?

Now I'm, like, walking and running, like, kind of thing. It's fine. A few miles. like maybe like two miles but um when i did the half marathon that was like we can put it together can't we 13 miles i think 13 point 13 point something one yeah yeah that's good that's fucking long i used to run long distance i quit when i got hurt but i used to run like seven my five to seven miles a day well i'd skip a day sometimes but i got it's my body got it just i used to love that though that if i felt depressed or anxious that was my favorite thing to do oh so great and i ran at

night i know that's tougher for you yeah i don't think i yeah i'm sorry i know that's a very that's a privilege thing yeah i run at night in a bad neighborhood with my shirt off yeah with my shirt off well now you're just kind of like maybe you want rubbing it in yeah i do and i wear short shorts yeah you know why they attack santino night running what was he wearing and that's what the press always says what was he wearing did he deserve it now i used to run at night in my neighborhood i used to really enjoy it especially because in the summer it's so hot in l.a and then when And, like, right when it gets dusk, oh, night run. It feels so nice.

I'm sorry to brag. No, no, it's okay. Move to a nicer place, and you won't have to worry about it. Austin's not too sketchy. Well, unless you're on 6th Street. Compared to Stockton, nothing's that sketchy. That's a fact. That place is a little heavy, huh?

Oh, yeah. But everybody says that Austin is sketchy, and there's a serial killer that's going around. I know, I heard about this, right? The 6th Street Strangler? Yeah. Has he gotten anybody that you know? No, not anyone I know, but maybe. you run there at night with short shorts you would be prime target i'm pretty quick really yeah

i mean if he's got a gun i'm done but i'd love to have a chase against the strangler i think that would be fun to watch in the distance with binoculars yeah is that santino oh that's a guy with a knife rad yeah this is no austin sixth street is the only part that's like truly kind of sketch magech but it gets that way just because everyone comes into party there so there's drugs and alcohol and black Israelites and there are a lot of those a lot of black Israelites yeah a lot of black Israelites I think I was like yelling the N word at me over and over and I was just going to the mothership and so I was like fine I'll join so I joined you said saying the N word or yeah I wanted to be able to say it I was like for crying out loud can I do it well

well I heard someone say that gingers are black so yeah that's this pervasive rumor on the internet I just don't know if that's true yet can I say ginger or should I say ginger Just kidding, that's so bad Take it back, or we're going to cut that out I didn't mean that It was stupid I'm sorry Ginger's are black

Gingers are not black I think what that woman was trying to say Was We were treated socially differently Whites always treated ginger's differently Okay but whites treated other whites

differently Like Italians weren't even whites For a while It's not the same But it was the same Irish were the poorest people in the world They couldn't get jobs there was signs that said

Irish need not apply Wait a minute Who wants to hire a drunk Irish Who wants to hire a little annoying Italian guy A little stinky no snow showering Italian guy I come in here innocently looking for a job Well you stink Mario get the fuck out of here There are signs that used to say Irish need not apply

All over New York And in fact there's still up There's certain places kept them There's ones that say Irish and dogs out back How crazy is that? Yeah that's insane you don't even like dogs so you don't like Irish people either

no no Irish are fine I'm just saying fine they're good oh wow okay fine thank you Miss Mariani we just got the fine pass from you no redheads were just treated what I'm saying is yeah whites treated all whites different whites treat each other subset differently but gingers were always as outlier we always were kind of

all the whites could agree that's the good we don't like that touching touching the hair touching of the hair Yeah, touching of the hair. Well, I think they thought you guys were, like, because red, you know, like the devil. Yes. So I think maybe that, you know, because they'd burn witches and stuff. They'd burn, like, people that.

Ginger's probably just give off that vibe of, like, evilness. Devil, evil, yeah. Yeah, yeah. I understand. But, like, people are, like, weird like that. So you associate color with good? So white is good and black is bad? Is that what you're saying, Christina?

Oh, no, I'm saying red is bad. Right. So any darker color shader than white is bad. But it's not even bad. So brown is bad, black is bad, and red is bad is what you're saying? No, no, no. So Christina said red is the devil, black people are evil, and you said brown people are dirty. Is that what she said?

I didn't say any of that. I didn't say anything of the sort. You got plans January 6th? This is why, probably. Because see, this is evil. That makes sense. Yeah, we just have a, we look wrong. We look wrong.

So whites see us, they go, that's wrong. That's not what we're supposed to look like. You know, people do that to animals, too, though, not just other people. Well, some animals are ugly. Yeah, and the ugly animals are the ones that get, like, you know, there's a species in Africa of lemurs that's, like, really ugly. They're called the I-I lemurs, and the villagers just get so freaked out by the lemurs that they're just killing them. They're going extinct just because of how ugly they are. They didn't do anything.

They're just existing. But they're ugly. Yeah, but they're ugly. so people just kind of have the prejudice. But not that gingers are, you're a good-looking guy. Jesus Christ. You know, how mean is this? I'm not trying to say it like that.

Jeez. Do you see the way she just did that twice? Just being mean? That's not that ugly, I don't think. They have, look at their fingers. Oh, that's their hands. Their hands is like the creepy part. They have a really long nail that gets like the ants.

I mean, I actually think that's kind of rad. I don't know why I like that thing. Maybe because I'm an outcast and I feel the pain from that thing. someone like you who's been good looking your whole life you didn't feel what we felt as an ugly little red-headed boy you think of what you don't understand the pain that we had to go through so i see that and i go cute no i was i no i do you think i i i get like this because because of how hot i've been i didn't say my personality i'm saying you don't know the pain of being an ugly outcast yes i do you were an ugly outcast yeah dude what do you mean when were you an ugly out podcast when you were a kid? Yeah, I've been just, I think when I was 21, 20, a guy in college was hitting on me, and I was just like, this guy's really nice. And I had no idea, like, that he was hitting on me, you know?

And that was the first time that, like, I felt like guys showed interest. In high school, do you want to know, my nickname was awkward. I'd walk down, hey, awkward, and I'd be like, hi. Oh, fuck, don't say hi back, you know, like kind of thing. Yeah, but. Awkward is not ugly. No, but also I, no, I had acne, and I was like a bigger. Not that being...

You were heavy? Yeah, it was not heavy. It dispersed, okay, but my, you know, my dad said it was fat. Sweet father. Yeah, but he was in a funny way. He wouldn't say it, like, in a way that was mean. He would be like... Get ready for school, a fat, sir.

No. The boss is leaving, fat ass. No, one time, like, a word dress, right? And, uh, and you was like, looks like you got two. hogs fighting under a blanket and um that was funny you know that's like a mean it's really funny though like yeah it is though right because it's like my walking it looks like there's just two hogs fighting yeah the image was really funny i thought it's hurtful but but if mom say it to daughters i hear that that's that's where a lot of that body image stuff stems from with women is their mothers are mean oh uh no

was your mom mean about that stuff my mom is so sweet but like she would be honest though um was your mom a bigger lady no no my family they they all look healthy they're tiny people yeah tiny tiny tiny italian tiny little italians yeah but you're kind of tall how tall i'm tall yeah i'm five eight and a half five nine something don't have you don't put a question mark on it i don't know i'm i'm around that area in that ballpark you know the shoes are big that that that's five nine then yeah well yeah with these it's five nine or five six if i was a guy here, we pour whiskey. Oh, I'm here to tell you about Zock.

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Have you dated short little guys like that? Actually, most of the guys I've dated have been like kind of around my height. I think the last guy dated was a little bit shorter maybe. I don't mind. I don't really care about stuff like that. I think I'm more of a vibes person. What's your vibes? If I can riff with somebody or like connect with them emotionally, then, and if they make me laugh, if they're funny and they get the same kind of fucked up sense of humor that I have, then that's what I like.

I like more of a dark humor. Yeah, like a darker day just like go there and then we can laugh about it. Like, I don't know. That's what I enjoy. I didn't really care too much about physical appearance that, you know, it just depends if we vibe. sure that's great i don't think guys have that i don't think guys i think men get that men do when you get older i think men care much more about the connection i think when you're a young lad yeah guys were more i think you're more superficial

when you're younger and then you get older and you kind of really care about uh connection because you've already lived through the time of you know oh i want to get this hot chick and then you guys get older and they're like i want to be able to talk to somebody who cares about me well it's weird because i feel like um you know like i've been on dates with really attractive guys and they're you know like really tall and good looking or whatever and then i talk to them and um and they're stupid i can't find yeah and then i can't find them i don't see them anymore like something changes where they change like they morph into like oh what's the first thing they say that turns you off like

when a tall dumb guy says something to you um i'll say something kind of unhinged like i usually don't like doing the small talk thing i'll just say an unhinged thing right away and see how they take it and if they just like kind of ignore it and then they ask me like oh so what's your family like then i'm like i'm bored you know like we'll find out about that stuff later but like i don't know you know what i mean what's your icebreaker question do you have like an icebreaker thing when you go on a date um no i just i'll say something like israel or palestine dude go see how the date shakes out no just something that i'm thinking about like i don't know It's different every time

I had this thought the other day Like They say You know how they say Jesus is black That's something that people say They do Yeah I wonder if that's the first time that happened

You know Where the baby came out black Oh yeah And then just What the fuck is this? Mary Mary What have you been doing?

Yeah No it's God I swear it's just God Really? Yeah yeah Yeah You've been traveling a lot, Mary. Yeah.

To sub-Saharan Africa pretty often. I don't really like it when you're on those long trips down south. Mary's been going to that sporting event a lot recently. What's been going on over there? That is a great joke, though. No, I don't know. Jesus was black-ish. Black-ish on ABC.

Do the plug now? Run the ad? No, I think, a virgin is what a bad weird lie that was my problem with church is when i was a kid i wanted out because everything they told me i was like what are you talking about i had a lot of questions she never had sex do you know how much that freaked me out when i was a kid that you could actually happen to me yeah you know and kids think they're like special and so i thought like oh my god what if god picks me i'm a pretty cool girl you know i don't do anything bad i'm always nice

you know that was the prerequisite by the way Yeah, no, no, I never got my name on the board in school. You know, the bad kids got their name on the board. I don't know anything about it. Okay, well, bad kids, when they talked in class, would get their name on the board, and then they get, like, tallies. And I never got my name on the board. I was such a good kid.

And so it was like, maybe God will, like, impregnating me because I'm such a good kid. You're pregnant now, no tallies. Exactly. I had no idea. By the way, no one ever told me about getting a period either. Your mother never had a conversation? No, never. Very avoidant about that.

Maybe she doesn't get hers. No. Oh, she gets her beard. Let me tell you about my mom's period. No, no, no, ask my dad. My dad avoids her like the plague when she's on her pier. She always says, oh, your mom's on the rag again. That's what my dad says.

That's not how he says it, though. No, I swear. She's on the rag. She's on the rag again. Your mama, she's on the rag again. I, mamma, we can't come inside when you bleed. She's on the ragatoni. You bloody bitch, she's on the ragatoni.

Mama Mia What is the wrong with you? Bloody lady Hey bloody lady All the boys in the street Hey bloody lady No But no one told me

So when I got my first period You know I was freaked out Of course I didn't know what was happening And I thought I was like You know Like I still think I could maybe get back

I was like Oh my God It's a miscarriage oh fuck i lost the baby god's gonna be even more mad at me yeah i was like god why you gave it to me just to take it away what's this game we're playing i don't know but i swear you god it fucked me up in the head it did it shook you down a little bit yeah like uh yeah we did the church did that i had a my like first album i had a joke about the true story i used to flip a coin to determine whether or not i was going to be able to masturbate that day like it used to fuck me up that when

I was a teenage boy, like, learning to jerk off, I would flip a coin because I'd be like, God's going to be fucking so mad at me if I jerk off. So I'd say heads, I can do it. He's okay with it. And tails, he says no. And I'd flip it, and I'd get tails. And I'd be like, best two out of three. I have to try again.

He's not, I've got to bet against God. But that's a true story. I literally used to flip a coin because the guilt was weird because it was like, I don't remember where I learned it, but someone was like, masturbation is like against God's what, like you are, you're poisoning, you're poisoning yourself or some, whatever the scam they told us was. It's a sin. Yeah, but they said, like, if you do it, you're, like, killing, you're killing the future chances of having children. And now I can't have kids, so maybe they were right, dude.

Fuck! They were right. I got rid of all my jizz too early. Too many heads. You just get the coin that has just heads on the size. Yeah, double head coin, like, from a magician's shop? Yeah. You got a double head coin in here. How would that make you feel not guilty? Like, because you're giving yourself a fair shot? Yeah, 50-50. Almost like saying, like, God would make. the coin go to know if he didn't want me to do it. It was also, it's not logic. It's like horny fucking... It's like the magic conch shell in SpongeBob.

I don't know it, but I bet that's right. Yeah. What is that? What is the magic conch shell? It speaks into it? Just like they ask it questions and if this, if the conch says yes, then they do it. If it says no. That was my little magic conch. Yeah, that was me. It's a magic apeal. God, can I jerk off today? God says no. It's literally what I would do. go, fuck, he said no. Are you sure, God?

Yeah. No, come on, dude, maybe. But just no one's home. Nobody's home. Lord, please. And then finally I get it, like, all right, he's on my team. I didn't even know that you could flip a coin?

No, masturbate. Like, I didn't know about it. That I could masturbate? No, I didn't know girls could master. And you guys, yeah, I didn't know you could either. I can't. Barely. The blood flow is different these days, kiddo.

I bet you're great at it. That's a weird thing, too. No, I'm sure. Don't give yourself more credit than that, you know. Ah, shucks. Yeah. Thanks. Yeah.

Is that your thing? Your thing you do for fun? Is jerking off? Yeah. I think that's a thing. It's a thing that we all do. Yeah. We all do it.

You didn't know you could. You thought you were not supposed to? No, no. I just didn't know girls masturbated too. I thought that was a guy thing. Yeah. I didn't know about it. And then on accident.

You masturbated on accident? on accident like like a pillow no no no it wasn't it wasn't intentional though it was like uh i was in bed and i was like reading and i think i was just like shifting around or something and then i had like an orgasm and it just happened and i felt i was like what the fuck was that what did i just do what was the book um i don't know it was mine comp i was just kidding I was giving you a setup, dude. I was like, go for it. What's the book?

I wish I said something else. No, mine cough was right. Mindcalf was okay. You were shifting around and you had an orgasm and it was the first time when you're reading in bed? I didn't know that it felt like a, like I, but good. Like, yeah, look at orgasm, yeah, but I never, I didn't know that, but then I figured. Did you feel that about it or something? No, I was just like, whoa, what was that?

And I've been chasing that ever since, kind of. It's never. You've got to get you about that book again. It's never been like. quite like that so who did you talk to then your sister sisters no no i just uh i took note of it and i was like oh and then when um you know you know i i had a more intentional one oh that's what that was there it is yeah yeah you said that right as you come there it is like oh what is she looking for something all the time there it is oh yeah that's yeah but kind of

because nothing was like that first yeah never felt like that for you right that first time yeah I had an associate Like a Pavlovian association with The song The Heat Is On was in Beverly Hills Cop And that song would like Rope through my head when I was Jerking off. Isn't that crazy when I was jerking off?

Because one of the first times I jerked off that was playing in the background When I was in my mom's basement So the heat is on was like in my head So what I would be jerking off is like the heat is And it so it would like loop and my brain. And now to this day, if you play Beverly Hills cop, wherever I am, I have to stop and drop and jerk off. Yeah, I have to come. You don't even need a jerk off. It just... I just come immediately. It is very, it was very weird that, like, stuck in my head as a kid.

But also, uh, when you're, like, finding out about yourself as a young teenage person, you, I think the reason the coin thing or the guilt stuff or like the shifting around in bed and finding it out is, is because you think whatever it is is wrong. For some reason, someone I was like, that's not right. Yeah. And then so it, like, lays in your brain. You're like, I guess I'm bad. Am I bad?

Well, you know, it makes you feel like guilty. Like, you get all this guilt. Oh, yeah. You were, we were, we were. Yeah, we were. Yeah. I just, you just feel guilty. You're like, oh, this is wrong. I shouldn't be, you know, like after you masturbate and then you're just like, ah.

I mean, I've gotten over it now. Oh, I still am like, like, and in the moment you feel okay, but then afterwards, you're like, yeah it feels like a bummer it feels like you're bum down yeah you did something bad you know clean this up yeah but it's not bad people say it's healthy it depends on who you ask yeah depends on who you ask you know yeah it depends if you ask a priest they're like no it's not healthy they got to do it they're not allowed to i mean yeah they have their ways yeah they really do they really found a loophole Those are bad boys

Yeah I'm glad I was never In the church at that age I was never like a young They wouldn't have touched you That's what I thought It would have been like it's the devil Look at that hair

No they could have tried to fix me Oh you think so I have to fix that little devil boy You'd be the bad boy Get over your little bad devil boy Actually yeah maybe 100% Yeah I would have been like hot

Yeah I would have been in a You know in a kidding way Am I priest hot? I think you're a priest hot Yeah they're like wow we can't we can't get him to shut up he's gonna tell people immediately that's 100% I wouldn't shut the fuck up as a kid even though confession it's like you're not it's the sin if you tell anyone what happened in here except for me yeah I'm the only one that gets to know also our confessional

booths like glory holes that's what they yeah they really are they did it what's going on put your hand through that hole and shake my hand no what's in there I never that that that confession and all that stuff always tripped me out. We never were in the church in that degree, so I never really got to, like, feel the sadness of how weird it is to tell someone all the bad things that you did. You had to do it, huh?

I was so anxious every time. I was like, the priest is going to judge me so hard. And I didn't even do anything that bad. I had to make things up sometimes because... You'd make up bad shit? Sometimes I'm like, I have nothing. I got nothing. I lied to my mom, maybe.

And then I get in my head, like, I don't know. I'm kind of nuts. I was always nuts. Ever since I was a little girl, I've always been nuts. you're not nuts now i'm a little nuts are you really i feel like i have oCD or something or like see i don't know

i haven't gotten diagnosed for anything i don't well don't go get diagnosed no it doesn't matter it'll be like uh you know the cat in the box i'm gonna pronounce it wrong shirt shirt's the cheshire cat no no the what's it called the cat that's in the box and you don't know if the cat's dead or a lot

schrodinger i never know how to say that word it'll be like schrodinger um ocd or autism or whatever it is that's going on that way you don't know if I have it or not because then I'd have it and then what that's my identity then I'm right now I'm just a little odd that's okay you're not odd I don't think you're odd

stop projecting that you're not odd you're nice you're funny you're cool thanks you got the whole world on your shoulders wow thank you a lot of pressure but just do your thing no no I mean I'm not saying it like this is fun you know like when I'm not anxious

it's fun it's great time have you leveled out some of your anxiety on this show has this show made you more nervous Was this easy to do or hard? Oh, I don't know. I hope this was easy. Yeah, no, I feel like I'm a little, like, more anxious today for some reason. Maybe I'm, I don't know.

Were you nervous to do the show? Because we've never met before. Yeah, a little bit. But, like, your vibe is really nice and cool. Like, you're making me feel at ease. I think I'm just... Win. Huh?

I said, it's a win. Yeah. It's a win for us both. Yeah, yeah. I was worried that you were going to be mean. Yeah. Well, you started off on a bad foot. Yeah, I know.

I was going to beat you up. Yeah. I was going to fucking. give you an old sockaroo no i knew you'd be late you did yeah i had a feeling you'd be late wow sometimes i can i tell him i go they'll be late sometimes i can tell who'll be late yeah what about me like gave like oh i might be late yeah like the anxious jittery jumpiness you either going to be early or late you're never going to be on time that's so true because i almost left at 11 and then i was like oh that's weird i'm going to show up like 30 minutes early

and then the elevator got me and then i was late it'll get you yeah yeah then i'll get you yeah then It was like too much. Intercontinental hotels. The elevator will get you. You got to be careful out there, kids. Yeah. Well, continued success to you, for real. I think you're very funny.

And you and Edgberghershner. Rich Hirschberger. Rich Gergerger. I hope the tour is going to be fun. Thanks, yeah. You have dates all over the place. Yeah. What's your website?

Plug your website. Oh, okay. Christinamariani.com. Christinamariani.com. She has all of her dates up there. Go see her. If you're in Austin, she'll be at the mothership pretty often when you're in town, right? You're always there.

Oh, yeah. I'm at the mothership whenever. That's your home. That's your club. Yeah, it is. It's a pretty great home club. Yeah. Is Joe nice to you?

Oh, yeah. Joe's great. Everybody's great. I texted him, I asked him about you. Oh, really? I said, what do you think of her? He goes, not aware of who that is. Oh.

I said she's at the club pretty often. And I sent a photo of you from a mothership post. And he wrote, not a fan. Oh, well. And then I was like, really, dude? I feel like she's there a lot. And he said, not interested in continuing to support her comedy career. I probably made him feel awkward.

Yeah. Somebody told me that whenever I think I'm being awkward, that really they're probably blaming themselves. So that made me feel a little bit better, like in a fucked up, like, way, kind of. Like, yeah, this guy was like, no, I leave interactions with you thinking that I make that that weird. And I know it's me, you know? But then it's kind of nice where I'm like, oh, he's probably blaming himself right now. He thinks he made that weird, but really it's me.

It's you. Yeah. so that's kind of nice so hopefully you blame yourself after this no I'm never going to think about this ever again okay yeah no you're at the mothership killing it all the time

I do see clips of them posting you I'll be down there I'm gonna come say hi when I'm down there if you're in town yeah we'll get stoned yeah when are you coming I come down in September at the end of the month right I go on the 20 something 22 21 22 something like that oh cool are you in town no you're probably on the road no I'm gonna be in town

Okay. Cool. We'll get high. I'll hold you to it. Okay. Then we'll go to a spot. Do you get high and go to a spot or no? Sometimes, yeah. I like to get high and do a spot. Yeah, me too. It makes me calm down a little bit more. A lot of times I want to say something and then I overthink it. Like I'll be in my head and then I don't say it because, you know, the voice, the judges, the sensors inside your brain are just like, no, no, don't say that.

And then when I'm high, they kind of are also high. They're like, I'll let her do it. Fuck it, dude. Say it. Say mind comp. Who cares. Go see her. Christina Mariani, go to Christina Mariani.com. Go see her if you're around Austin at the mothership. Continue to kill it.

Continue success. You're very funny. So I hope your career only keeps going. Thank you. You seem like a good human being. Thanks. You do.

Shout out to Stockton, California. The greatest living comic from Stockton, California. Christina Mariani, we end the show the same way. Look at that camera. Say one word or one phrase to end the episode.

One word or a phrase. If you want to impart wisdom or you just want to say one word, it's your call. Oh, no. Now it's Waited too long Now it's like too much of a buildup

Fuck Is that gonna be good Ginger In here We pour whiskey Whis whiskey Whisk Whisk

Whisk Whisk You were that creature In the ginger Fier Sturdy And ginger Like vampires

The ginger gene is a curse Ginger's a fugitive You owe me $5 for the whiskey And 75 For the horse Ginger's all hell now This whiskey is

Excellent Ginger I like gingers.