Whiskey Ginger with Andrew Santino - David Cross

Episode Date: March 1, 2024

If you love comedy you love David Cross. One of the best stand up comics in the world, half of Mr. Show, Arrested Development, and the critically acclaimed Alvin and The Chipmunks! Check out his new special "Worst Daddy In The World" out now on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fnw65BBrlY4 #andrewsantino #davidcross #whiskeyginger #podcast ================================================ SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS RABBITHOLE $5 OFF YOUR ORDER https://rabbitholedistillery.com/buynow USE PROMO CODE: RABBIT ROCKET MONEY Get Ride Of Useless Subscriptions! http://rocketmoney.com/whiskey ======================================= Follow Andrew Santino: https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino/ https://twitter.com/CheetoSantino Follow Whiskey Ginger: https://www.instagram.com/whiskeyging... https://twitter.com/whiskeyginger_ Produced and edited by Joe Faria IG: @itsjoefaria Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In here, we pour whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey. You're that creature in the ginger beard. Sturdy and ginger. Like vampires, the ginger gene is a curse. Gingers are beautiful. You owe me $5 for the whiskey and $75 for the horse. Gingers are hell no. This whiskey is excellent.

Ginger. I like gingers. Say hi to Joe. Say hi to Joe in that camera. Joe is our editor that's not here with us. He's dying of cancer. Well, he's dying of cancer. Oh, like the king. King of England. Yeah, he is kind of like the king of England, except without the wealth or the notoriety. The king of England and that guy Joe have in common.

Give up. They're both dying of cancer. We'll be right back after these words from Luzon Luzonda, the new medication for cancer. Are you dying of cancer? We've got medicine that'll give you more cancer. Luzonda. David? Oh, I thought it was Luzon Luzonda. Luzon Luzonda. Okay. Yeah, just to mark Luzonda. I don't understand. Why would the medication give you more cancer? I know. Well, because we're developing anotheron and Alan Luzon. Why would the medication give you more cancer? I know. Well, because we're developing another medicine to take care of that.

Oh, smart. Yeah, we just want to kind of layer medicines as long as we can to try to fix one thing and make another problem. Is it fair to call the first one medicine? Yeah, it fixes something. What does it fix? Your bank account? Yeah, we're going to be billionaires once Luzanda really takes off. And you can be in on it if you'd like.

This is actually an investment meeting. Oh, no. That's my financial advisor. Sorry, that sounds very unethical, and I try to not do unethical things. Okay, when the cameras are off, we'll talk again. Well, if you're saying when the cameras are off in air quotes, that means cameras wouldn't be off. That's right. So we'll talk about it now.

Our newest sponsor, David Cross, is here. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to Whiskey Ginger. My guest today is one of my favorite people on Earth. I say that for all my guests, but I mean it once again today. It's David Cross. There you go. Thank you for coming. Thanks for having me.

I appreciate you being on the show. I love you from afar. You don't know me I appreciate you being on the show. I love you from afar. You don't know me. I don't know you well. I know... Have we met or no? I think we met one time through Judith Apatow. Okay.

Judd's other... His mistress. His mistress, yeah. We shouldn't talk about that. I think, yeah, one time and one time only at... It was billed as that. Yeah, one time and one time only. It was billed as that. Yeah, one time and one time only. At Largo was, I think, the only time.

Outside of that, no, never. Okay. Just two planes flying along in the comedy sky. And then our paths happened to cross. Well, yeah, you know that when you're on a plane and you see another plane go below you? Mm-hmm. And you think, I wonder what they say to each other when they...

The pilots? Yeah, what do they say? Look out below, and then they empty the bathroom thing? You know, there was a comic that had that joke. I don't remember who it was that said... Maybe it was Bargatze. It was like, up until 40, I really did think the noise, the violent noise of a...

was because it was just emptying it over wherever the fuck we were going. And there's a piece of you that always goes, I kind of thought that for a long time. I had no idea. I would want them to do that. Yeah, get rid of it. Yeah. Why are we carrying all this waste? That's why they call it flyover states.

That's right, because we're flying right over and it's all- And dumping our shit and piss. Well, you think about it. Most of it's farmland and it's all... Shit and piss does help stuff grow. I think the shit does. I'm not sure about the piss part. Now, I've been pissing on my lawn

for like a year and a half. And? It's all dead, but they do say it cycles. Oh, okay. So now with the rains, that should help. We'll see, man. But yellow is a good color.

I don't know why everybody's lawn needs to be green. It doesn't. I think you're onto something. Thank you. That's like the old patriarchy, you know. That's an old white guy thing. Yeah, an old white guy thing. Get your green lawn.

Yeah, yeah. You got to mow it. That's funny because my dog loves to piss in the exact same spot, of course, every day. Or just like a two-square-foot area. That's what dogs do. And the grass is all dead, and the guy that was coming to like do the lawn was like, do you want us to fix it?

I'm like, why? What would be the point? He was like, well, we could make grass not there and just put like pebbles. I was like, no, no, no. Just let her keep killing it. Who gives a shit? Yeah.

What's the point? I'm with you. Yeah, you don't need any of this. Are you a dog guy? Do you have animals? Yeah. What's the point? I'm with you. Yeah, you don't need any of this. Are you a dog guy? Do you have animals? Yeah, well, I had a dog for 15, a little over 15 years. Had to put her down. I'm sorry.

But I got a good 10-minute bit out of it. That's good. Yep. a week and two days ago got a puppy um that for my daughter was an early birthday present and uh i'm a dog guy and i've wanted to uh wanted to get a dog again my wife is a um she's not anti-dog but she's more cat she's more cat person and um uh but she's more cat. She's more cat person. And, but she's also allergic to dogs, as we found out. And so, or, you know, certain dogs and dander and stuff.

And so we had to get a hypoallergenic dog. Am I saying that right? Hypoallergenic. Yeah. And so we had to go. And I was, you know, we had no choice, basically. But I was very much like, you know, we got to figure this out because I don't want to get a breed, you know, a dog that's been bred and I want to go rescue a dog. It's the greatest. I did that with my last dog, Ollie. I rescued her and they were going to kill her and she was a puppy and and and i you just have a a bond that i don't think the dog senses but you know you sense it and um and it allows you kind of to be uh petulant when they're not doing something you'd be like i fucking saved your fucking life you know

and uh and so we got a a burnadoodle which is supposedly the best of that, of a hypoallergenic breed. And it's definitely more Bernice Mountain Dog than Poodle. So it's big. Well, it's a puppy right now. We got it when it was seven weeks old. But, I mean, it's going to be a big, big dog. It's going to be big. Because Poodles are fucking huge.

Yeah. Well, there's all kinds of Poodles. Right, unless it's a mini or a toy, but the OG poodle is a big dog. We don't know. I mean, you don't really know, but it's going to be anywhere from on the low end, 45 pounds, and I think it's going to be bigger than that, to like 85. And I think it's going to get closer to like 65, just judging. And the huge paws.

Yeah, the big paws thing is my favorite. When they're stumbly over them. She's fucking awesome. That's the wrong word. Not awesome. She's cute. Yeah. And she, you know, I do not remember.

And I was trying. I was trying everything. Like, how did I train Ollie? That was my first dog. How did I train? I can trying everything. Like, how did I train Ollie? That was my first dog. How did I train? I can't remember because this dog shit and pisses everywhere that has no interest in the pee pads, isn't getting it. Slowly, it's getting it. But also, we got it from like a rural farm and, you know, just three feet of snow and upstate, like about an hour outside of Buffalo. So when it came, when we got it and came to the city,

it had never seen concrete, cars, sirens. The noise alone has got to be crazy. Yeah, the smells, everything. Other different people, dogs. So it's, the first weekend was a nightmare. It was really, she was just terrified and freaked out. Now, slowly but surely, and my daughter is fucking in love with it. That's great, man.

Yeah. That first chunk of time with the dog when it is the hardest is also the most fun. We got our little mutt slut from a friend of a friend who was getting furniture made in downtown L.A. And this guy was like, this dog came in and had puppies and then took off. Oh, wow. which we researched it says usually they know they're gonna die if they leave the puppies that early because they were only like three or four weeks old when the mom left and uh he was like this guy was like i'm not keeping all these fucking dogs so i'm either gonna turn them into the city or something or you know

so our friend was like oh i'll take as many as I can because she's like she has a house filled with animals. And we saw our dog. And then, you know, I was like, when the dog comes over, let's talk about it. Let's you know what I mean? And then they'll still tug at your heartstrings within five seconds. You're like, we're keeping the dog. And she shit all over the house. And the first first week we had her she kept shitting and then um behind the

television like we have like a little tv stand and uh it was like a long i mean it looked like two feet and i was like holy fuck dude this dog it like it was incredible and then i saw it wait you mean a a compilation of all the shits or one long like one long shit it was unbelievable it was on but but she's tiny i mean she's just a little she's like a maltese cocker spaniel poodle terrier she's like 50 things and i saw that's my dog yeah that's her right there that's oh gosh how old she's five in that photo yeah she's five there yeah when you got her how old was she we got her four four to six weeks they're not really 100 sure it was way too young so but when she shit behind the tv we saw like a wire and then my heart stopped thinking in my old office my computer wires are fucking all over the place

yeah and i was like holy shit dude she chewed through a wire like that's not good i'm we got to take her to the vet so i like grab all this shit up. And as I'm grabbing it, the wire is like not the consistency of a wire. And I'm like, what the fuck is this? And of course, I call the vet and they're like, oh, dude, that's worms. Your dog has worms. That's not a computer wire. That's why she had all this shit built up in her and had to get shit off. So she had worms when we first got her.

And then it was like within the first month was like 10 trips to the vet to figure out. But now she's fully functioning. You did a good thing. I mean, you got to know that. Your family knows that. Yeah, it's going to happen. But you know, like, oh, we did a good thing. Yeah, it was rad.

We saved this dog. I know, we want another one. But also, I'm in that mindset of like, how do we do the puppy thing again? Should we just get like a five, six-year-old? I honestly do not fucking remember. I was trying. I got to call my ex-girlfriend who we got the dog together. I'm like, do you remember what we did for that first month?

Because I don't. We had one trick. I remember we got like sleigh bells. Put them on the door. Door, yeah. And did the treat and hit it with the nose to go outside. Yep, yep. That was the, I think that was like the quickest learning curve where I was like,

look at this. Yeah. No more piss and shit in the house. Once they get it, it's the best thing and you look back, you know, for the rest of the time you look back and remember when we first got her

and she was shitting all over the place? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Especially if you're working a lot. It's funny to be like busy and you're like, ugh, I'll get to that shit as soon as I clean up

all this other bullshit. It's like sectioned off pieces of shit. We have a little backyard area of a brownstone in Brooklyn. And so extremely lucky, which I didn't have with the other dog, where, you know, I don't have to get up and put on a full outfit at 4.30 in the morning when she has to go out. I just scoop her up and head down the stairs, open the door, plop her down. Oh, that's good. And then wait 10 minutes and go back and go back to bed.

So I'm very lucky that way, but yeah. But is it, what is, I'm curious, you know, moving away from it, because otherwise I'll spend an hour talking about dogs. Part of the reason that when the PR team reached out about you putting out a new special and talking about it on the show. PR stands for Public Relations. Is that seriously

what it is? Yeah. You thought it was Puerto Rico? Yeah. Because it was like, David Cross want to come on the show to promote. And I was like, okay. Oh, so it was like an old West Side Story audition. Okay, got it. But a part of me was like, I'm curious to come on the show to promote. And I was like, okay. Oh, so it was like an old West Side Story audition. Okay, got it. But a part of me was like, I'm curious to know.

Can I hear your Puerto Rican accent? Yeah, Puerto Rican, yeah. They be gonna come on the show, baby puppy. Is that pretty good? That's more Dominican, but okay. Oh, come on, dude. You're splitting dark, thick, coarse hairs here. That's racist.

That is. But when I heard that you were putting it on... I have to remember that reaction for next time. Yes, it is. Yeah, it is. Yeah, very much so. Be pleased with yourself. Did you decide to put out... This is like a take no offense. Did you decide to put it out

on 800-pound Gorilla You Do Special and all your other ones? Do you want to move everything to one platform? Is that kind of the goal? From a stand-up perspective, I'm curious. Ooh, please put it back if you don't mind.

Is it too shiny? Yeah. Is it burning your retinas? Can we adjust the lights coming from me? Eventually, yes. I would, as I would think,

anybody would want all their stuff accessible in one easy-to-access place. And I've had shit all over the place like my netflix special is you know i've talked to other comics about this uh do you have something on netflix yeah i have one on netflix just one so did you find like you are uh a slave to the algorithm that People, yeah, and I, even like bigger actor guys who've had projects on there,

like if you kind of bitch about it, like, but it's a real thing. If there are people who have no idea that my, I have a special on Netflix because unless you're searching for this certain kind of comic, I guess, it just doesn't come up on the feed of the stuff you happen to like. And that kind of sucks.

I wish I had more control over going like, hey, here's – I mean, I had something on epics. I had something on comedy dynamics. I had one – the one before this one, I just put it on my site. And now this – the one that was before this one is on 800 Pound again, right? I think I might have just given it to them. Given it to throw it out there. Why not?

Yeah, I thought so. Yeah, that one I just did myself, paid for it, did it in New York, because I had to cancel the tour because of COVID. Yeah. I would have gone out. on out but um so that you know this and i think a hundred pound gorilla every uh i'm fairly new to working with them but every aspect of working with them has been great they're really they did mine mine my last one too they're rad yeah they're really good people they're smart they're their production company's good they're uh they're production companies. Good. They're, uh,

they're not gouging you there. They want to make a good product at a fair deal, which I think is the biggest beef that most comics have when we're like, especially, you know, when you're earlier on, you know, like I signed that death contract with comedy central,

you know, that was like, you get 30 bucks and if somebody buys it, you get another $3, and you're like, holy shit, you know? Yeah. And they strung us along when I was 28, and so I just didn't know any better, and... Well, that's what they do.

They take advantage of people who are, seriously, who want... Not just them, but everybody. Yeah. And who want their stuff out there, and they, you know, it's like you're, you're, you're saying, okay, I'll, I'll, I won't take as much money,

but I can get eyeballs on it. And then that'll pay off in the future. And, you know, sometimes it does, sometimes it doesn't. Uh, yeah.

My only job is to try to make comedic things, whether TV, television, sketch, podcast. My job is to try to formulate that. Also, and to push Manscaped products. God bless.

Manscaped, no. I think that's my gig, is to know that world. I don't know. I think the hard thing is, even if I did have the foresight to know what those contracts were saying, I wouldn't know what to ask for anyway. Even if I was like, this seems weird.

I'd be like, well, what the fuck do I know? I'm not as valuable as someone else. The best part about those companies and their relationship with comedians is most of us are so insecure or so self-doubting

that if they're like, well, you think you're going to sell as good as that guy? And you're like, I probably not. You convinced me. Yeah. In five seconds. Put it in the contract that they're like, there's no way you're going to do that good. You're like, you're like, probably not. You convinced me in five seconds.

Put it in the contract that they're like, there's no way you're going to do that good. You're like, you're right, yeah, I'll probably shit the bed. That's the problem.

Well, this is all to say, 800 pound gorilla has been great. They're fucking awesome. Worked with ethical, and their team is good. They're all in house.

So when I shot it, I was like, chances are I'm going to have to go to uh nashville for a couple days where they're based out of and you know sit with the editor and never an issue like we just notes were he was way ahead of anticipating what i'd want and really good and it was a it was a treat did you matt schuler do you work with matt i did yeah it's great the reason i not to stay so deep in it but the reason I got so into those guys was because

I went to New York to watch Ari shoot Jew, his special. And I mean, it's out, which is great, but I remember watching it live and being like this, the candle, like just the stage, the stage setup was so beautiful and cool. And I was like, who, whose idea with it? And he was like, it really was mine. And they were like, yeah like yeah we'll do it and he immediately thought they were gonna be like no i'm not gonna light 700 fucking candles for your stupids but we're doing two shows but he's like they were so cool about wanting to make it my way within reason and i was like that's i don't that doesn't exist because you know so many companies that i first had gone to were like listen man just

do a fucking curtain. Yeah. You know, like, and I get it too for cost. I understand, like, you have to sacrifice one thing for another. But anyway, it's nice to know that there are newer companies that are just like, what do you want? How do you want to fucking do this whole thing? And we'll just do it the way you want. They're also comedy fans. Yeah, they are.

Which helps. Yeah, that's the big thing we should have focused on in the first place. Yeah, they're not like money fans. Right. You know, I got into this business first place. Yeah, they're not like money fans. Right. I got into this business for money. I'm a big fan of money. Comedy money. Yeah.

Big comedy money guy. Outside of touring and special, are you working on a show of your own? No. Will you please for me? Well, you know, Bob and I wrote, developed, and pitched a show, really cool,

fun idea that, a limited series, eight episodes, and pitched it around and had like a little bidding for it

from four different companies and then we went with Paramount Plus and we wrote up the first four episodes and then the kind of a really specific extensive Bible for the last four. All of which we had pitched. Like here's a story. Here are the characters. Here's how to work. And then just actually wrote it. And then they said no, which was weird because it was what we pitched.

There was nothing. I love when they say yes and no. Well, they, okay. So a ugly reminder that the real power isn't, because I'll tell you what they said. Look, we could go back and forth and we'd give you notes, but we don't think this is, the amount of notes we could give you would even get it to

the point, I'm paraphrasing, get it to the point because, and then this is a quote, marketing and analytics, I can't remember exactly what it said, but it was about the marketing and analytics department not getting it, not wanting it. And that made them say, no thanks.

Like, what? If our marketing team isn't interested, we're not interested. Dude, they have all the fucking power. I learned that early on when we were doing Run, Ronnie, Run. It was crazy. It was quite a bit of a shock that they, if the marketing department doesn't have the imagination to take a pre-existing idea and figure out how to make that idea, when it's reached its fruition, how to sell it, then they can say no.

They need to hire these guys, like these internet guys. What's that guy's name? Grant. You know these new guys like Grant? Isn't it Cardone or something? He does like... Dude, I don't know anything about this world. Well, it's one of these...

It's been... Sorry about that. That's my dad. He'll just run the hose once in a while. It's one of these internet guys that's like telling you... Yeah, this guy. He's like...

Who is it? Wait, go back. Look at a photo of this fucking guy. He's one of these guys that's like, if you, yeah, this guy. He's like. Who is it? Wait, go back. Look at a photo of this fucking guy. He's one of these guys that's like, if you don't know how to sell, you know what I mean? Like it's a, he's like a sales genius. It's like, why don't they just hire these lunatics? Right. You know, cause these motherfuckers, they can sell anything. They're the kind of guys that are, that they do.

And he's selling you. He's selling you. On the fact that he wants to sell himself. Yes. He's selling you on the fact that you should learn how to sell you. He's like, if you have $1,000 in your pocket, you should know how to make $10,000 out of it. Right. One of these guys.

Yeah, dude. But it's like the confidence in these motherfuckers. Like, put them in a marketing department for a TV network then. Just let this guy do it. That's a fucking, that's a legit good idea. Yeah, because these guys are so fucking overtly confident that you're like, throw him there. Why wouldn't, let this lunatic do it

because he- But make it a part of your contract that's like hidden in there so that when you go into the marketing meeting- Grant Cardone must sell our show. Yeah.

Because he's so, they're so confident in the fact that it's like, if you're making, there was one clip that was on there, I don't know if you'll find it, but he goes,

if you're making less than a million dollars a that was on there. I don't know if you'll be able to find it, but he goes, if you're making less than a million dollars a year, how are you providing for your family? Yeah, that is tough. Yeah, less than a million. He's like legitimately, and the person he's talking to is like, I don't know. I don't know how they. I don't know.

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I like gingers. I like cinders. It's just wild to think that that's the new standard of the internet push of marketing has become you have to be selling every inch of every second of your life. Otherwise, you're worthless. And obviously, not everyone is buying things. You're leaving money on the table, too. Yeah, you're leaving so much money on the table. Well, the reason I asked that about the show is only because McCone and I were talking before the show about Mr. Show. McCone and O'Brien?

McCone and O'Brien right there. Yeah, he wishes. McCone and O'Brien? Yeah. No, his last name is Corkery, this guy. And his brothers are— What's McCone? So McCone is my grandma's maiden name, so it's traditionally a last name, but it's my first.

McCone. McCone Corkery. I like it. And it's Flanagan and Seamus are his brothers. And his dad's name is Mark. Now I'm going to put in, what's your dad's name again? Keon. Keon, yeah, yeah.

Are you psyched about Sinn Féin taking over? Oh, you're asking an informed question. He's not an Irish person? Oh, my God. Dude, this guy said to me the other day he literally that an irish person yes this is what i'm dealing with 24 he said to me the other day he watched me put a hash brown wait i'm sorry to interrupt please google shin fein when we're out of here no no no no do it now no do it now so we can learn something by the way in the meantime i put a hash brown inside of an egg m McMuffin yesterday at the airport when we were flying

back from Reno, and he goes, whoa. Whoa. But like a legitimate whoa. And I'm laughing because I'm thinking, shut the fuck up. And he goes, I've never seen that or even thought about that. Dude, life hack 109. I consider myself more of a Minnesotan than like an Irish person.

Sure. Okay, there are two. You can be Irish and you're from Minnesota. Yeah, you're allowed to be both. Yeah, you're allowed to be both. I'm just one. No. Honestly, this is what I deal with every day of my life. You have no idea.

And I'm in love with him. He's my son. He's my... I love him to death, but it's really hard. I've adopted him. Is Sinn Féin an Irish person? Is that an Irish person? And then Google the troubles.

Please Google the troubles after that. Once you've read, once you've studied up on Sinn Féin. Yeah, McCone almost joined the IRA, by the way. I don't know if you know that. But inadvertently. He had no idea. Wait, so put this through the slot in the pub and then run like hell? All right.

It's really hot. How long do I hold on to this for? You can do some research. You can do some deep diving research and start to read. He hasn't read. He shouldn't faint an Irish person. Is he an Irish person? I don't know what the pronouns are.

No, the reason I asked to go back is because we... Is he an Irish person? I don't know what the pronouns are. No, the reason I asked to go back is because we... Look, I've been a fan from afar for a long time, and I think I just would love to see you do more of what you do best. And so it'd be, you know... I don't know. That's why I was interested to know if you guys were making another show. I know that's tough because the way that the fucking machine is now yeah it's totally different as as we learned recently but uh i you know what i i would love to do like another

kind of uh todd margaret but the just the idea hasn't come to me um but bob and, this is not a sure thing, but I think it's pretty likely, we're going to climb Machu Picchu and shoot it. Whoa. Yeah. That's fucking amazing. Yeah. When did you settle on this? Was this kind of like in the middle of writing something else? You're like, we should fucking.

No, to be honest, I was in the middle of the ocean last summer, and I was just sort of content and enjoying everything. And it occurred to me, I want to do more things like this that bring me pleasure. And part of it is getting a sense of my mortality in a way that I hadn't before. And my body isn't, is kind of breaking down in little bits and pieces.

And it was like, I've been saying I want to, I've been saying I'm going to climb Machu Picchu for 20 plus years. And it was right there. I was like, fuck it. I'm doing it this year. I don't care. I'm going to do it. And then I thought like fuck it I'm doing it this year I don't care I'm going to do it and then I thought well I should do it this is all like took three seconds in my head

I should do it with somebody like a friend who likes to hike who wants to go hiking? Mark Rivers likes to go hiking oh Bob! Bob's a big hiker he loves hiking and then immediately thought oh I guess we should film it and then so I called Bob, you know, got home back to New York and told him about it.

And he's like, yeah, that's a great idea. That's incredible. And, yeah, it happened very quickly. And then we, you know, his wife is his manager and producer. And we were like, let's figure this out. And we went to a couple different companies and picked one and now we're getting it together is are you guys going to document like the pre-journey and all that stuff or is it only yeah i think i think what uh what it'll end up

being and of course this is subject to change uh especially based on whatever whoever buys it if they do buy it um it'll probably be you know three eps you know the the first third of the first one is probably getting you know our our individual families bob in la me in new york and packing and doing a little training and saying goodbye to the wife and the kids and going to the airport and flying and then meeting up in Lima and then going to, I can't remember the name of the town you go to. It's like three hours away. And then, you know, probably start the actual hike at the beginning of the end of the first step. How long does it take, by the way?

I think it's 27 miles. There's a big one of the days. It's three or four days. You have to acclimate for two to three days at least. And then it's broken up into three days. The second one is like this. The incline is insane when you look at it. Does this scare you at all?

No. Not at all? No, not at all. Although I will, it has just in the last week or so occurred to me, I'm looking at this like I'm a 40-year-old in great shape. And I understand that. It's starting to dawn on me. Like I always take the stairs and I've just been recently getting – trying to be self – conscious of of the of what my body's doing i i uh was walking up maltman you know which is a pretty steep thing and i'm i mean three blocks in i'm like

and i'm like oh well let's multiply this by 7 000 right of these uh and i really gotta get in shape. And I'm probably in the worst shape I've ever been in my life. Really? Yeah, yeah. This is pretty good for bad. You don't look heavy or anything at all. No, I'm definitely like eight pounds overweight.

But the inside's a little tough. Is that what you're saying? Yeah. My spirit is dead. Your spirit's dead. But I've also got, like, I had to go get orthotics because I have two broken, I had broken bones I never took care of. So that was fused and then you get arthritis. And I just had elbow surgery.

Like, ow. What was that for? I had. Good God. Look at that motherfucker. That was for Golfer's elbow I can't remember the official Yeah like tennis elbow or whatever

It's the inside Tennis elbow is on the outside Same This is for golfers? Yeah That's funny I have it Do you really? Yeah

Did you tear your tendon? No but it just hurts a lot Oh you gotta Is it a burning sensation? Yeah Yeah you gotta take care of that man Really? Oh dude

It Yes Did you get it from golfing? No I don't golf I've never golfed Yeah so how did you gotta take care of that, man. Really? Oh, dude. Yes. Did you get it from golfing? No, I don't golf. I've never golfed. Yeah, so how did you get it? Jerking off to golf. Right. I jerk off to golf. Right, right. When the tour is on, how can you stop? It's called a joff. When you joff.

When you joff, you jerk off to golf. Golfer's elbow caused by overuse. Medial epicondylitis. Yeah, oh, come on. Medial epicondylitis. Or pitcher's elbow. That's what it is. You've been throwing a lot again. Yeah, oh, come on. Medial epicondylitis. Or pitcher's elbow. That's what it is. You've been throwing a lot again. Yeah, well, you know,

I do, you've seen the Home Run Derby. Haven't I? Yeah, well, that's me. Every time? Every time. Lobbing to things. I'll put a different makeup on.

Hair and makeup comes in. Hair and makeup, right. It flies in. Aesthetics, yeah. And, uh... My body's broken, too. I feel your pain. But I've ripped the tendon because I had it and I know what it's from.

It's from we were in Toronto during COVID. So we were potting. You were allowed to pod with one family. And we and my wife was there working on a show. And there were four kids, my daughter and then three other kids. And I would play with the kids, and I did roughhousing and stuff. And I would—my daughter, who's a little slighter than everybody, I would throw her up, and I'd toss them on the bed and all that stuff. And then two of the kids are stout, thick kids. And they would be like, me, me, me, do me. I'm like, okay. And I, and I did, I didn't want to be, you know,

just my daughter. That's all I can afford. And, um, and so I play with them and I throw them up and doing all that stuff. And, and I know that that's where i damaged it and then uh i went to get a cortisone shot have you had to do that not yet dude it is this is why i'm saying take care of it because that is one of the most painful things i've ever gone through it's a long so they have to it's like a 30 second thing and i was like crying i was tearing up, and the guy held my hand like this way, you know, like linked up. Yeah. Which is like, he knew to do that. He just took my hand.

He goes, okay. And he put some freezer burn stuff on there with the- They numbed it. They numbed it, you know, with the freezer burn. Right. I still have a burn mark from it because it was like, this is not working. And they take this long needle. Oh, don't show me this. Don't show it. God damn. We don't want to rel from it. Cause it, it was like, this is not working. And they take this long needle. Oh,

don't show me this. Don't show it. We don't want to relive it. This is insane. Why are we doing this? Lacone's just playing it on video. You fucking lunatic. So they take this long needle cause it's,

it's filled with the, um, cortisone. Right. And, um, it's like a steroid and he have to put it in, but it doesn't go in one place. He's moving it around. It's like a 30 second process. And I's like a steroid. And you have to put it in. But it doesn't go in one place.

He's moving it around. It's like a 30-second process. And I'm like, oh, my fucking God, that's painful. Because you can feel everything it touches. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then it felt much better. And then it, like, worked. I was like, great.

Okay. Because he took x-rays. He's like, all right, you don't need. You didn't tear it or anything. And then, because I'm stupid this way. I really am dumb. Okay. Because he took x-rays. He's like, all right, you don't need, you didn't tear it or anything. And then, because I'm stupid this way, I really am dumb, we were upstate. I have a house upstate along the Delaware River. And me and a whole bunch of friends with kids went tubing, right? So we had this big raft.

And they're those, like, big rubber dinghy type things. And we go over to this little section where I know the undercurrent isn't so bad, rip current, you know, whatever. And so the kids are out playing. And then it comes time and I put the kids back in. I'm in the water with them and everybody else is on the thing, you know, drinking. And I lift the kids up there, no problem. And then I go to hoist myself up and you know how that especially when you're wet the you don't move with it like your skin your whole body

and I went and I went to hoist myself up with my forearms and just it just ripped it and then it got worse and worse and worse and worse. And now finally you're fixed. Finally I'm fixed, yeah. For now. Until Machu Picchu. Until Machu Picchu. And then, God knows. I'm just worried about my, you know, my feet. But these orthotic things are, like, instantly, that pain went away. Because

of the fusion that you had in your foot? Yeah, that's where the joint pain came in. But these things, and it's the simplest thing. You go step on a little foam thing, and they make some measurements. And they're like, you're good to go. We'll ship it to you. And then, well, yeah, they send away for it.

Then, I don't know, 10 days later, you get these things. You put them in your shoe. You're like, holy shit, this is all I had to do? I know. It's funny, because I used to run a ton, and that was like, I always just bought shoes off the rack and ran in them. I never thought about it. And then one time at a running store, the guy was like, have you ever been molded and had your own inserts?

And I was like, nah, I don't fucking need them. And he's like, okay, let's just, do you want to see? Okay, sure, whatever. I did, you know, I put my feet on it. They measure and they put you on the treadmill and then they put you back on there and then they show like the graph of them. And he's like, well, this is, you know, it's really bad. bad like this one this arch is so much worse than this arch he's like just you should

just try these these inserts and i was like okay and i tried them and i was like oh my god yeah huge i've ruined my whole body for yeah my whole like for the 15 years i ran yeah you don't realize you're overcompensating you don't really feel it how would you know and also you keep fucking up the other foot you're too dumb to know like this morning i was at the doctor because of this hip thing this is old man this is an old man podcast now i was at a hip impingement and then you know and what does that mean impingement uh you know unfortunately well the bone the bone kind of grows out it like uh creates a growth typically happens when you're young we don't need what stop it yeah just. Yeah. Just put on. Stop it.

Put on, go back and read about. You know what, so he's interested in all this. That's why he doesn't know much. And so we're trying to like get him. No, no, no. Every day you learn more and more. But learn on your own time, okay? No, it's just, it's from being physically active,

which is funny. The doctor was like, couch potatoes don't get this. Yeah. He's like, that's the irony of like, oh, you're active when you're young. The bone kind of can create some overgrowth on the outside. So instead of being concave, it really protrudes. And it's just, now I have fucking,

what do you call it? Hip arthritis. Yeah, it's great, man. I'm excited. I'm excited to get older. It's getting worse and worse. How do you feel right now? I'm okay.

I'm fine. You're 40 and this shit is happening? Yeah. Yikes. I know. Thanks, dude. Oh, dude. Wait till you're 60.

How old are you? Well, I'm not 60. Yeah, so what are you talking about? You don't know. Wait till you're 60. I'm waiting. Yeah. I can't wait.

He's waiting till it happens. I can't wait. I can't wait till the pain. Yeah, I think that's why I asked about the fear of the machu picchu thing because i you know like i think i climbed the grand canyon i did that thing you know and well that seems as extensive as i mean maybe it's got to be close i guess you're not as far above sea level though well you well when you go down yeah you have to stop they ask you to stop you know they recommend you stop because they're like let your body acc let me because we had a few people but i remember i was probably 20 years old

and i was thinking dude i could fucking backflip down this i don't give a shit and people were like do you mind stopping so the rest of the group can i was like okay like it was so wild to me and now i think if i tried it today i'd be i'd be fucked yeah i mean that's the thing i'm i'm i'm I'd be fucked. Yeah. I mean, that's the thing. I'm, I'm, I'm, my cavalier attitude and confidence is based on past, you know, 20 years ago. And I was, I was in really good, exceptional shape.

I was always running and jumping and climbing things. I've seen the photos. Yeah. And you don't post anymore. No more shirtless photos on your Instagram? Yeah. Because fucking Playgirl, you know, rescinded all the rights. Really? Yeah, yeah.

Because you had a long contract with them. Yeah, it was my entire life. Yeah, and it was weird. And then they got in trouble because it started when I was six. And that was a little unseemly, I guess. Those pictures sold the best for some reason. Yeah, they loved them. You think it was just because you had hair when you were younger?

I think it's like, you had hair when you were younger? I think it's like, you know, they're like looking at it going, this could be a bear. Right. You know, well,

it's an investment in the future. We gotta let it grow. Didn't work out. Yeah, it didn't. I had a Jufro though, so maybe that was part of it. Yeah.

Well, that sells a totally different market. Yeah. Yeah, that's interested in another market. No, they don't. No, they don't. Money is money. Money is money. well that sells a totally different market yeah yeah that that's an interest that's interested in another market no they don't care no they don't money is money money is money uh have you

seen i hate to say this but have you seen this makes me think have you seen the video of people climbing everest and the bodies that they see on this on the way no that always gets that oh is that because of the um the uh is that the one where the um global warming has revealed all these bodies? Yeah, they're like everywhere now. Like it used to be like you'd see like two on the way up. Now there's like 30 that they see. And now this is the most fucked up thing. Now that there's melting going on, bodies are sliding down the mountain.

Oh, Jesus Christ. Some of them were also like landmarkers. Right, green boots. You've heard the green boots story? Show them green boots from Everest. You can't see the man, but there's these famous, iconic, this man with these, like, bright green boots. Right, and he's been there for quite a long time. But he was, like, a point of marking.

But now his full body is almost revealed now because the snow is melted yeah i've i've i recently read about the you know because the snow is melting uh like people are passing by just multiple so many it used to be like i think they would see like a few and now it's like every five feet it's like a whole thing so a part of i guess the the training a friend was telling me a part of it of when you do climb they do a big tutorial on be prepared for the mental aspect of seeing a body yeah because you will and it's like you you you have to get over this mental hump of um what the elevation change does to you what kind of you know some of the depravity of oxygen will do to the way you think and the way you see and blah blah and then that's a whole nother section they have to like brew into it it will do to the way you think and the way you see and blah, blah, blah. And then that's a whole other section they have to like brew into it.

It's like, by the way, you're going to see a whole fuckload of dead people. Well, this is not, thankfully, I mean. Machu Picchu will not have this. No, I know. It's not even remotely that. But there's the second day of hiking. You climb up to 19,000 feet. Yeah, that's very high.

I mean, that's, is there even oxygen there? No, no, no, no, no. What do you do? No, I think the, what, the tree line, the oxygen line probably, I think you run out at 15,000 or something like that. Because I, when we go, our, my wife's uncle had a house for a long time in Breckenridge, and they would, you would sleep at around 11,000 feet. And I would have crazy dreams like the first night or two. And then even when you started to go up

or hike or anything like that, you start to get, like even then, and you're going to ski. What does that say? 19,000. Yeah, that's it. It contains only half the amount of oxygen.

Wow. Yeah, it's nuts. But I do love the, I love the physical feeling of your body kind of adjusting. It's weird. Like every time I go to Denver or go in the mountains, I like to physically feel myself working harder to adjust because lot less, like, uh, uh, two-thirds less on alcohol, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Which is the nice thing about, um, the first couple days before you get acclimated, like, you know, three drinks and you're like, yeah, guys! And, uh, and I've saved a lot of money. Yeah.

Are you, are you doing anything specific to prepare for it that's like changing anything rapidly in your life or no? Diet-wise or any of that shit? They say what? Diet-wise or anything like that? Just more pork rinds. I'm trying to... Yeah, you got it. You have to, right? Pork rinds.

Chicharrones. That's what we call them here. It's actually chicharrones. Chicharrones. No, rones. Rones. Up here. Rones. Chicharrones. That's what we call them here. It's actually Chicharrones. Chicharrones. No, Rones. Rones. Rones. Up here. Rones. Rones.

Chicharrones. And is that racist? I don't think so. And neither do I. You're saying it's the correct pronunciation. I'm not Mexican, though. Yeah, but you, if you either know or you don't. I mean, I know the correct pronunciation of avec moi, but I'm not French.

What is that? What's avec moi? Take the trash out? It's like trash isn't the exact... Rubbish, maybe? Take the rubbish. Yeah, take the rubbish out. Which can be...

When Americans say trash, you're thinking like, oh, the refuse and my old banana peel and some papers. But when a Frenchman says refuse, that could be your attitude. Take your attitude out back. Dump it in the bin. Dump it in the bin. How long were you living in France? You lived in France for? It was a connecting flight,

so I want to say it was three hours-ish. Pretty good. Yeah. I learned a lot, you know. Yeah. Took in a lot. I'm very observant. You really are.

Yeah. So I can tell you all, you know, about airport bars and things at DeGaulle Airport. International Airport. So I saw a lot of fancies. A lot of fancies. You're a fancy boy. I really am. That's what the internet says. Yeah. I want to

tell you, I was lucky to do one tiny, tiny role on Arrested, but I did the newest season. No, maybe the second. I don't know which one it was. The second newest. Second newest?

The second time was not good. You hated them both. I didn't hate them both, no. The first time back was okay? First time back was okay, yeah. I'm not going to go into it, but the second time was just full of really bad, dumb, avoidable problems. And it was not good for anybody.

Yeah. And we could just boil that down to Jason Bateman. Really is what that is. He's a piece of shit. He's a diva. He's a piece of shit. I know Jason really well. And every time I speak to him about you, because I talk to him about talented people around him and how that's really kind of

made him shine. Sure. Because of his shit. Because of his lack of ability and skill. Jason Bateman is a prince. Yeah. Well. A prince of tides. I have a totally different perspective on him, but yeah. What did you do? I did, my scene was with Jason.

I was... So sorry. Yeah, trust me. I begged for you. I actually asked very specifically. Mine was... That's how it works. We're going to give you a car with some stairs. I was the guy selling him the... Oh, with some stairs.

With some stairs, yes. Yes. Yeah, I sell him the Google car is what it was called. Yes, yes, yes, yes. And it was honestly... He remembers it more than I actually remember. But it was fucking... For me i more than i actually remember but it was fucking for me i dreamed about the original season i loved it so much obviously it was cool enough to be

even remotely part of it again but i was such a fucking such a big fan so even being a part of anything i was like wow yeah sure i mean well you know it was was great. I mean, it was, you know, inarguably great. But the fourth season, which I watched, you know, I'm a little disappointed they recut it so that it is linear because I didn't kind of get it at first, but around the Tobias episodes, which are like a little under halfway through, it finally clicked and I was like, oh, I see how to watch this now. And it was really fun. Once I kind of figured it out,

like this is cool and this is unique. I haven't seen this before. And it's a fun exercise and it ensures that I'm going to go back and watch it again. Because, again, the first, like, six eps, I was like, what's going on? But then once I figured it out, it was a really enjoyable thing to participate in. It was a—

Season five was—I've never watched it. I don't think I ever will. It was not good. It's funny. I've never seen it either. It's not good, man. No? No. And just because it was such a departure from what the guts of the

show really was? I know, you don't have to get into it. I don't think, I mean, it was just... I mean, it just was... There were a lot of issues as we were going into it. Yeah. And it's not about people, per se.

It's not like this person was like this. That's not really what I'm talking about. It was just the whole production was a shit show. Yeah. I mean, this happens because things get lost in this whole, like... You know, look, I just did these couple of seasons the show dave on fx and and that kind of that's supposed to be really good i haven't seen yeah it's yeah i mean it's come to come to an end now which uh people like it people do people did like i think it i think it was a little bit of a relief

because it got so um i think what america doesn't really know is it gets so far away from what originally was kind of making something good sometimes, and there's a lot of... There's so many cooks, and then you're like, I don't... Well, that's kind of the issue with a lot of... Oh, thanks.

You found it. Because they remixed the season, it's so hard to find the... I remember I downloaded it once before. There's me talking to Jason. Yeah. Yeah, and you know, it was a small small little role and he was really difficult to work with it was two seconds and uh i'm used to i'm used to getting i'm surprised they didn't uh

they didn't cut that out they should have yeah they actually should have because a lot of it was on jason right yeah a lot of it i'm sure i'm more shocked than you are that they didn't cut it out it's interesting. The angle is clearly the camera's below. Yeah. I wonder what that's about. That was a request. I had a request for that.

Oh, that's in your rider. Yeah, I said, can you make sure that my tits are showing a little bit? It's like towering over. Little J? I'm also sitting on an Apple box. Ah, there you go. Yeah, that's in my rider. I have a request.

I'm sitting on one right now. I don't. Yeah. It doesn't seem. From your angle, you wouldn't be able to see it. From this angle? Mm-hmm. Which angle would I be able to see it? If you're me looking down, I'm the only one.

That's it? I can see it, yeah. All right, let's give it a shot. What can you tell me? Legally? Yeah, what can you tell me? Legally? Yeah, what can you tell me? I mean, I have clearance for some things, but there are some things...

Go ahead and tell me some of the stuff. Okay. People want to know, a lot of the fans ask, when David... Area 51? Yeah. No, I'm sorry, I interrupted.

No, they say when David comes on, can you ask him about his knowledge or lack thereof in what's going on in area 51 um well i can't say too much but i can say certain things and maybe you can fill in the dots sure um the land rights have been leased to the m&M company. To Mars. Yeah, Mars Candies. Yeah. The makers of M&Ms, amongst other things.

Three Musketeers. Snickers. Say that as a one word next time. Milky Ways. Is Almond Joy in there? Say that as a one word next time. Milky ways. Is Almond Joy in there? Almond Joy. Mounds. Not whatchamacallits.

No chance. Not Skittles. No. Not Twix. Not Kit Kat. Not Cadbury Eggs, because Cadbury is its own thing. And that's a whole other issue, unfortunately. The British. Well, you know, Cadbury's used to be made in England.

And now, because of Harry and Meghan, they've moved it. Was that people? Oh, I thought... When they left the royal family, they took Cadbury with them. Oh my gosh, I had no idea. It was part of the... I was living in London at the time, and it was a big to-do. People were not happy.

They were mad at them, huh? They were mad. I don't even recall their anger being taken out on Harry and Meghan, although now it is, of course. Yeah. Man, that is, I don't know shit about any of that stuff, but you can't help but see. Can't help but see it is like a cottage industry for people to be mad at Harry and Meghan. Like people are making money. A fuckload of money.

Hating those guys. Yeah. It's almost, well, I mean, the internet is, that's what it does with our business. It's the same thing. It's like people can profit from the amount of controversy that can be created it's extremely profitable yeah and and also when you do when you make a statement that you're gonna maybe separate from this thing that people hold such a true identity to it's like a sports fan when they're like the guy's leaving your team and he's like a sports fan when they're like, the guy's leaving your team, and he's like, we should fucking kill him. When I lived in Boston for nine years and when Clemens went to the Yankees, that was like—

Blasphemy. You watched sane, rational adults just losing their shit. Like, you know, first of all, he's a redneck from Texas. He doesn't give a shit about boston no and he's it's called free market capitalism the thing you love so much he's he's like how dare he he's he's betraying us it is weird to own a person yeah it's just i mean the representation of owning of someone that plays for a thing but it happens even as like a comic when someone's identity they're like nah he was a new york guy or he's a thing. But it happens, even as like a comic, when someone's identity, they're like,

nah, he was a New York guy or he's a Boston guy. It's almost like when Burr moved here, you know, like he still is an East Coast guy or whatever you want to say. But like, he's been in LA for fucking ever. It's like, he's just as much of an LA comedian as he is an East Coast comedian because his rise,

I say, is out here. I disagree because I think, I think, you know, especially with Boston, maybe perhaps

the most, your region and where you're brought up can really inform your style, who you are, your personality, and that you carry that over. And I think Bill's an example of that, you know. He is still Boston, but he has kind of been one of the pillars of L.A. comedy

in terms of, like, he's one of our guys. I mean, in terms of we don't have a ton of big names that live here anymore that are still doing the clubs how's Allie Wong? yeah Allie is Allie less so will come to the club cause she's so busy

like Bill I feel like I do still see work out a little bit more cause she's fucking she's so busy she did beef I did beef. I did beef. How was it? I didn't get an Emmy.

I asked. I said, I did four episodes. Could I please have an Emmy? Was the show good? Yeah, it was very good. Was it? Yeah. I'm very much not in it. I'm only in four episodes but I will say that's me. I'm the non-Asian guy. Thanks for pointing that out. I'm the much not in it. I'm only in four episodes, but I will say that's me. I'm the non-Asian guy. Thanks for pointing that out.

Yeah, I'm the second one in. But it's funny because it's such a, it was such, you know, I don't know how many times you've experienced this, but when you read something and you're like, ah, I wish I was, I wish I was a bigger part of this thing because it was fucking rad. I'm reading it and I was like, oh, this is fucking rad. And I'm lucky to be in a couple of them.

But that is, yeah, that's one of those things when I hate to say you know, but sometimes you go, I don't know, I think this is going to be fucking amazing. It'd be hard. Well, sometimes you know. I mean, yeah, that's... What was the thing you knew

when you read it and you knew? Oh, Arrested. Like, didn't you even... Well, I would say as far as just reading something, I saw the potential. But when I was shooting the pilot, you know, I didn't want to read for it. I had just moved to New York like a year prior, maybe less, and had no interest in going back to L.A. at all. And then, you know, this script comes, and I was like, I'm not interested.

And they're like, just read it. It's really funny. And Bob's wife, Naomi, and my manager both separately, like, I think it's pretty good. And they wanted me to look at two different parts. And then I saw the, I read the Tobias thing. It was like, oh, I know who that is. I got this.

And then I was like, it's supposed to be a reoccurring character. That's great. I shoot six episodes and go home. Most of, you know, for back and forth, that's great. And then when I was shooting the pilot, and I think we all felt this, and then when I was shooting the pilot, and I think we all felt this, it,

you're just, the casting is so fucking perfect in that show, and you're playing around with these, you know, most of whom I'd never heard of before, and then you're like, this is really good. This is funny.

This is good. It's the tone. I like the tone. The Russo brothers are great. They directed the pilot in the first season. And I'm like, this is just a fucking treat. And they're letting me improvise. And this is awesome.

It's a fun role. So I remember calling my girlfriend going, hey, so good news, bad news. I think I got to do the show. I think I got to be regular and I think I got to keep doing this. And so that one I knew when we were shooting the pilot. I was like, this is really good. Special.

I think when I read Station Eleven which I had never read the book I was like holy shit this is and it turned out to be that was one of my favorite shows of that year

that was fucking great did you read the book after the fact I didn't I didn't good I should

fuck books I think that should be an imprint yeah a publishing imprint fuck books fuck books although that would have a different connotation I guess for some people well we have two divisions I think that should be an imprint. Yeah, fuck books. Fuck books.

Although that would have a different connotation, I guess, for some people. Well, we have two divisions. Oh, okay. What are they? Yeah, fuck comma books and fuck books. Ah. Yeah. Smart. Yeah.

That's smart. You want to appease everybody in this day and age. How much longer do we have to do this? Two seconds. Okay. This is it. Okay, is it? I have no idea.

Oh, yeah, we're at nine minutes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. You know what? We have nine minutes left? No, no, no, no, no. Oh, yeah, we're at 59 minutes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what? We have nine minutes left? No, no, no, no, no, no. Oh, we're at 59. We're in that one.

How about that for kind of, that's a pro. You are a pro. It's just in the brain going, I think we're at an hour. In the rhythm of doing an hour and warm enough for your special. Unlike when you do a set, like a 12-minute set at, like, you know, you drop into a club and you're like, how was that? How much time did I do? You did 20 minutes, asshole. Oh, shit, I'm sorry. Was I supposed to do six?

You guys said six and a half? six and a half. I remember, uh, Norman told me that Seinfeld had said to him when he first opened for him

at the, at the Beacon, I think it was, that Jerry was like, you'll do 12 or whatever the number was. And he was like, oh,

you know, what if I'm a little over or under? And Jerry's like, what do you mean? Right. And he's like, well,

I did, what if, you know, what if it's, and he's like, what do you mean? It's 12, you do 12, and that's the number. And he was like, what if it's, and he's like, what do you mean? You do 12, and that's the number.

And he was like, uh-huh. And he said he was so panicked about it. But that is kind of, that was such a standard. I don't know if it's a generational thing as well. Oh, I have no, yeah. But, I mean, Seinfeld is jokes. He doesn't change a word, right? It's to the beat.

Yeah, it's down to the science. It is. It's scientific. And I told him, I said, I would bail. It's to the beat. Yeah, it's down to like the... The science. It is. It's scientific. And I told him, I said, I would bail. It would make me so fucking nervous. Oh, God.

I have no idea what 12 minutes is. I have no fucking clue. At 12 minutes, I'd be like... And that's why I was... Okay, I gotta go. Bye. For people at home,

first of all, I want to thank you for coming on the show. For people at home, please go watch. The special is out on 800-pound gorillas YouTube. Yeah. It's available right now.

When this is out, it'll be out. Yeah. And your other special's on there. It's coming out pretty soon. Yeah. It's the worst daddy in the world. The worst daddy in the world, which is not true. I don't think it's true.

My daughter might have an argument with you And she directed it and EP'd it Your daughter She co-created it You gotta give her some credit for that too Does she get paid for this or no? I mean you know I get up in the morning And make her fucking breakfast and walk her to school

Every morning so yeah Payment in full Watch Worst Daddy In the world Right now on YouTube on 8 Interpol. We'll put the link in the description below. Thank you for coming. I appreciate it. You look in that camera right there.

We end the show the same way. You say one word or one phrase to end the episode whenever you're ready. One word or one phrase. Now that's what I call a pancake. Now that's what I call a pancake. In here, we pour whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey. You're that creature in the ginger beard. Sturdy and ginger.

Like vampires, the ginger gene is a curse. Gingers are beautiful. You owe me $5 for the whiskey and $75 for the horse. Gingers are hell no. This whiskey is excellent. Ginger. I like gingers.