Whiskey Ginger with Andrew Santino - Dillon Francis

Episode Date: November 16, 2018

Santino chats with Dillon Francis (moonbahton DJ, comedic actor and all around dope artist) about taking a shit at Skrillex’s house, accidental drug ingestion and Ushers birthday with Jermaine Dupri Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In here, we pour whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey. You're that creature in the ginger beard. Sturdy and ginger. Like vampires, the ginger gene is a curse. Gingers are pugilistic. You owe me $5 for the whiskey and $75 for the horse. Gingers are hell no. This whiskey is excellent.

Ginger. I like gingers. Welcome back to Whiskey Ginger. My guest today is one of my favorite people on earth that's a phrase that i use every time that is bullshit that's my phrase i use every time regardless this is dylan francis lady gentlemen dylan francis i clap also for you i clap for myself dylan thank you so much for coming man this is fucking amazing yeah listen we have a connective tissue through a one brandon dermer yes uh for people that don't know he's an extremely talented director writer producer Yeah, listen, we have a connective tissue through a one Brandon Dermer. Yes. For people that don't know, he's an extremely talented director, writer, producer. He did your last special. He did my stand-up special on Showtime.

And he's worked with you on a few different things, right? The first thing I saw of you and him, or well, I guess, was Butter. He showed me you through Butter, which was amazing. Dude, he did such a good job. And how many years ago was Butter? That was, I think around like 2014. Yeah, that was. So for people that don't know, I should hype you up way more, right? I should really, I should really say what's up.

If you want to. Dylan is a multifaceted, talented entertainment entity. Is that a chill way of saying it? That's a chill way of saying it. I think it's so much better than being like, he's a content creator. Yeah, no, no, no. A multifaceted entertainer because you're a writer, an actor, a producer, a DJ, or do you want to be called a musician? What's about, do you like DJ? You said music producer, DJ. That's great. Yeah. Cause I make music and then I DJ. I don't know if there's terms that people get fucking pissed about.

Cause I'm not aware. I mean, honestly, I don't really give a shit good you're not a dickhead no okay good good i like see that's the vibe i'm just a guy i just like people that don't you don't need pronouns for your career no need like if someone was like he's an actor i'm not gonna be i'm a comedian and also an actor i'm not i'm not like that's such a fucking annoying you do what you do the semantics of that is stupid nonsense yeah so you do so many things um the last couple of things that i know uh that i saw of you uh i mean more recently i knew a lot of people that worked with you on um like and subscribe yes that i know and which is funny because it was on go 90 right yeah and then go 90 disappeared off the face of the earth you know who else else did Go90 stuff? Your boy. Yeah? Right here.

Hell yeah, dude. I did some shit with fucking Go90. Bam. We just high-fived for the audience. I had a bunch of friends that were doing, like even actually Maddie, who's on the show, she had a whole series that was going with Go90 called Hey Bitch. Hey Bitch.

Hey Bitch. Hey Bitch. And it was actually really funny. And there was great stuff on there. I feel like nobody, it's, if you're not, you know. Yeah, they didn't know what they were doing. Yeah, they didn't. I think they were putting out a lot of like,

I mean, they clearly didn't know what they were doing. Nope, because they're gone. They must have not known shit. I did a couple of things with Go90 and we swung the bat a few times. It just didn't work out. I don't know. I did a character show called Here's the Rub,

which I played this Russian character named Nikololai popov who went to interview athlete and uh dude we got famous athletes that was a great that was my shit dude i'll show you photos i stayed in a i stayed like in character the whole time we flew across the country fuck that we flew to iceland to go do the mountain from game of thrones do you know no way yeah dude yeah and i interviewed him as this character. It was so much fun doing this character thing. And they didn't air it at all? I mean, it was, I think they said they did, but like for our worth,

the production company that I was with was like, yeah, dude, they didn't do shit. Like they push it out for like five minutes and they were like, I think we're done. Wow. I think we had the rumblings even then, this was a couple of years ago, that they were like

we're not gonna we're not gonna yeah i mean it is what it is but i mean i mean thank god that's the biz bro this is honestly i don't know am i allowed i don't know if i'm allowed to say this you can say anything you want perfect so when they when so it was a bummer because we had done this like huge mural jack jack wagner's like he's the creator of the show and he did this he came up with this idea where we were going to do the the verified mural so we were doing that and it was going to start promoting the show right and right two days into like the the best troll this is this we basically made fake news yeah for people that don't know let me give a little bit of context in los angeles here a bunch of people from all over the city and the world they come here in droves to take pictures of popular iconic la spots or i would say popular

iconic la wings yeah wings yeah they love fucking wings or a pink wall yeah like paul smith's pink wall on melrose i want to fucking i want to paint it black every time i see it people come and they and there's a wall there's also a wall on Melrose that says made in LA and it's always Japanese kids in front of it. Oh yeah. And I'm not talking shit about Japanese people, but you're not made in LA. Why do you put that on your Instagram?

Because they got, you know. No, there is no answer to it. It doesn't make any sense. It's just a popular thing to do. But so again, moving forward. So what happened was, is you guys created a fake mural and you had to be verified online you had to be verified or have above 20k followers on any social media funny that's so funny it was that's so fucking funny to be like you can't take a

picture unless you're verified by the internet and people got pissed right people trying to face it the best was that you really saw like as a social experiment you really saw how people only read the top headline because every article said that it was a stunt for a tv show they breezed right and they breezed right over that just to see that and go fuck this fuck these people oh my god if i lived in los andres i would shoot myself i definitely saw a tweet that was that. And it was from a girl. Because she was like, I need to be. If I saw that, I would want to fucking shoot myself. Because that's so bad.

Come on out and do it. I would love to film that. If you want to come out and shoot yourself in LA, let me put that on camera. Oh, side note. Whiskey ginger shout out. Today I'm having a little bit of Balveen. A little bit of Balveen. A little scotch whiskey.

Skiski. They also leave out the E in whiskey in Scotland. Do you know that? They do. Yeah. Yeah. Because they're too blacked out to remember to write it on the bottles. I think that was just an accident more than anything.

Some whiskey freak or Scotch freak will email me now when they hear this. And be like, actually, there's always some fucking nerd that wants to correct you on these. Like, dude, I'm not an expert. I'm a moron. I went to Arizona State. I'm a dipshit. That's a great place, though. I'm barely walking. Yeah,'m an idiot like i'm not i've never claimed to be the genius about anything anyway so you did this mural it was so fucking cool i remember um i remember seeing it

it was on melrose wasn't it yeah was it by it was right next to the actual yeah it was right next so it was it was right next to the mural that everyone actually goes to to take a picture i thought that was i remember I remember seeing it. And my first instinct, just being a comedian, was like, this has got to be a funny bit. I just knew it was a good bit because I was like, this is too smart to not. Do you know what I mean? Everyone thought it was Nathan for you. I mean, it would be.

Because Fielder, he's genius like that. I was so happy. Yeah, but that's a cool comparison, right? Oh, my God. It was amazing. But it wasn't my idea. I got to give that all to Jack. Jack came up with to jack jack came up with that jack came up with that and told it to me and i was like yo we are definitely allocating

budget for this i don't give a shit if i have to pay for it because it's so genius it is it was brilliant so then after it was all said and done the show came out how many episodes oh got canceled two days into us doing that oh i thought you actually shot it though right we shot no no yeah we shot it everything was done it was about to come out so we we how many episodes i think it's eight eight yeah these are eight or ten yeah and two days into us doing that mural stunt go 90 hits us up and says what's up we're folding yo do you want to put the show out and we're like fuck no what why would we want to put it they were like yeah you can put it out for 30 days until we fold oh my god but it was a blessing in disguise because like either you do that or

we just give you the show and you guys can take it and put and go anywhere that's even better because it ended up on funny or die right exactly which is like i love i've worked with a a bunch of like a long time ago i think this guy dashiell he used to work for them yeah and uh we did like a whole dj mag thing that was really stupid. Cool. Stupid is always cool. No, no. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. The dumber, the better as far as comedy goes.

And they're very like-minded. So it was just, it was a perfect fit. And I think they're awesome with like their track record right now of like having fantastic, like they did American Vandal. And what was the other one that just got up for an Emmy? I forgot. No, I know. I know.

I know. I'm bad with this. My memory's so shit. Same here. I don't know why that is i drink a lot me too yeah me too but you know what the difference is i can remember things that i shouldn't be able to remember i can remember like where i hid something years ago but i don't remember if you're like what'd you have for dinner last night i have no fucking idea i have no idea but that's more personal to you of course you're not gonna remember what fucking em show Tony or Di got. But I should remember some things better.

Do you do that thing where you run into people and they're like, Dylan, what up? And you're like, what up? And then you're just like, yo. And then I wait for them to go, good to see you again. Good to see you again. The thing that's obnoxious about social media is everyone thinks they know me.

Yeah, that's got to be tough. Because you've got a shitload of people online that follow you like like a shitload right i got over how many on twitter is what twitter is one million and then instagram's two million holy shit that's wild it's weird yeah i don't even have like a tenth of that and i still get people that come up to me that well i guess because i do a lot of stand-up i guess that's different i'm in their face yeah but they see me more on the stage so they also think they know you yeah right so like my the the unfortunate part about being a stand-up is um well they want to be funny to me which is like fucking hey man don't ever be funny to me don't do that when someone comes up to me

and then they try to make a joke but it comes off kind of mean yeah and they think they're being funny and i'm like well because they think they think they know you yeah and they don't so that would be something that someone that knows you could say to you and then they try to make a joke but it comes off kind of mean yeah and they think they're being funny and i'm like well because they think they think they know you yeah and they don't so that would be something that someone that knows you could say to you and then you would actually be like okay though you know even then i'd be like why would you say some dumb mean shit like that why are we friends mart mart i have a friend named mart no mart mart mart yeah isn't that crazy like mart i have a friend named mart that's a real person like a mart that you mean that's his last name but still we call him what. What's his first name? Kevin.

Kevin? Kevin Mart. Kevin Martinson, but Mart. Mart. I like that as a good name. But that's even weirder to think that I couldn't remember the first name. You almost couldn't. You got it.

It was there. It was there. But you are your nickname. I bet you once you finish that whole thing of whiskey, you're going to remember everything ever. My grandfather's first job back in 1938 um okay so uh i want to i want to talk about well a bunch of different things i'm very i'm very excited explain to me and say and i guess uh say the correct way to say the type of music that they

promote that you do moomba tone moomba tone moomba tone it's so african in nature Moombahton. Moombahton. Moombahton. It's so African in nature. Moombahton. Dylan of Francisco's Moombahton. Is that Jamaican? What did I just do? Yeah, a little bit Jamaican. But Africanists will say Moombahton. No.

Maybe they would. We say it Moombahton. Moombahton. But what is that? So it's this genre that was made online. It's reggaeton and dance music infused. I'll tell you the story. I love it.

It's very confusing. No, give it to me. So there's a dance song named Moomba. Moomba. Yeah, that this guy Afrojack remixed. I know Afrojack. Okay, so then my friend Dave Nada took that song on Afrojack Remix while he was at a skipping party where no one wants to hear any dance music. What's a skipping party where no one wants to hear any dance music. What's a skipping party? Skipping party is where you just get a bunch of beers and you skip school with a bunch of your friends.

And you go to someone's basement. I'm too old. Whose parents aren't home. I'm too old because I literally thought skipping party meant like that was a new age thing where people skip. But they get fucking wasted and skip. You know how funny that would be if you came to a skipping party? That would be amazing. What's up, dude?

You got to skip. No, man. I don't skip. Drink, skip, drink, skip, drink, skip. It would be that. Some dude comes in a wheelchair and you're like oh yeah that was ricky man you gotta take off bud you gotta roll out you guys are mean fuck off it's a skipping party you know you don't belong here all right so you go to a skipping party and then what i go to a skipping no no so dave notta goes to a skipping party he's gonna dj it and he, man, I can't play this EDM song for these, a bunch of these Mexican kids.

They're not going to like it. Right. So he decided to take that remix that Afroject did and slow it down to reggaeton tempo. And when he did that, all the kids flipped out. How many beats per minute is that? That's 108 beats per minute. Give us like a, give us like a, and by with your mouth even. Just give us like with your mouth, like.

Okay, cool. that's probably not i hope someone i hope someone gets angry and is like that was actually 95 dude watch and you're a piece of shit expert yeah um actually dylan it's not where was the debbo so So this became your genre. So then that's how it became Moomba Tone was he made a bunch of edit packs and he was like, oh, well, the song that I slowed down was called Moomba. I'll just add the tone from reggaeton to Moomba.

So then that's how it happened. It was this internet genre and he put it up on SoundCloud. This guy Munchie found it. He started making music like that. Then I found Munchies. So us three kind of became like the main dudes. Pioneers of Moomba tone that are you one of the you're you would say you are i was at the beginning i don't think i'm like there's definitely some other people that that that are

out there too oh dude don't be nice i'm just being nice fuck those people dude guy that likes to have fun man d france does what he wants to do he's the beginner of this shit fuck you fakers all right so also um in in this in this world all indie artists no no no signed artists right like or you're on a label i got signed oh yeah but you made your own label yeah now i did okay i was signed to columbia because you got you got sick of fucking paying the piper dude yeah i remember i got sick of like having to deal like not butter for instance I paid for that whole music video. Dermot told me that. Yeah, Columbia Records wouldn't do it.

For people that don't know, you really should, honestly, I know I'm talking about something in your past, but you should talk about your present. No, no. I like shit like that. It stood out to me so much. Butter's an incredible video,

if you haven't seen it. It's basically, imagine a house party video, which you should go on YouTube and watch it. And it's all one shot. And it's like on a loop. Imagine the video's on a loop. And as you continue through the party, as the night goes on, people get more wasted, more fucked up, more partied out, more naked, more. It's like the hottest, sexiest thing I've ever seen. It's straight porno. You made music porno. You made Morno. That's Moomatone's follow

up. Making some Morno. With the African dude. Make some Mor more no the backlash is gonna be so big for this i lost all my african fans um no chance man they love me still but but that video was so to me that i understood you as an artist is that a cheesy fucking loser it makes sense because i was like oh that's cool if that's the vision that he has tied to this music because we talked i've talked about this before i feel like so much music today today doesn't connect with me yeah i'm like you know i'm in my mid-30s and maybe i'm and it's cool that i don't understand a lot of shit i'm like i'm not my dad you know like my dad my dad was like fucking nirvana those you see the penis on that baby is pedophilia on that album i was like no it's what the fuck you talk like that's the kind of shit where i'm like i don't want to turn into a guy who just hates shit because i don't get it yeah so i'm trying my best

but it's hard because a lot of stuff you're like what the fuck is this stuff it's very hard yeah it's very very hard but like i come from in chicago what i heard closest to what you make i guess like house music was chicago yeah i made a lot of house and then i learned later trance and all sorts of things kind of amalgamated to make somewhat of an edm type of new genre yep and then you're a new subset yep and then there's other new subsets so many subsets but that's cool yeah as long as it's i mean like who it keeps us dripping down like that's good and and this is the only time dripping is like a good term by the way dripping is always kind of negative i feel like cardi b took it

back with like that song came came through dripping it sounds disgusting maybe wait do you think she was just talking about imagine if you were so if a woman was so wet that she was dripping and she like got out of a car like that hey i'm at the party oh there's a trail back to your car this that's disgusting snail trail the snail trail back to her car lady get back home no you can follow me home it's like just follow the one saline gretel did you find our acorns no gretel we found your snail trail all the way back to where you came from but um but anyway i i um in your world you you're like a festival god is that a chill way to say it is that a cool thing to say i like it you're like a you're you're one of the beasts of festivals

yeah you can brag i play a good amount of festivals you and you're very well known at festivals yeah yes they fucking love you they come out it's very fun that's see so for me festivals are my fucking nightmare really that's my nightmare i'm an anxious crazy person people tons of crowds like i perform on stage yeah i can perform for thousands of people but i gotta be off the stage and gone home no i understand that you're in the mix and they're kind of a part of your world right yeah like you don't have to go say hi but they're still like there with you yeah a little bit more they can they have more access to you i guess and you party at the festivals too no no no no you take off no i take off but guys do don't they some people do but i think you're but you're backstage yeah it's not actually like going

into the crowd but they let in people backstage sometimes and some people that get in backstage and there's one dude they're punishers yes see i know i know i know because i've been in the backstage of certain there's and it's just like oh dude this is gross and weird i know what you mean trust me i don't like that like i i'm a guy that's it hurts me too let me stay alone leave me alone yeah i go do my work and then i'm gonna be with people that i actually care about yeah not some weird fucking crazy tranced out dude that's tripping balls. It's like, yo, dude, you want to smoke DMT with me? Like, dude, I don't even know.

No. No. I don't know you. How did you get here? Yeah. I know Kevin. Who's Kevin? It's my dad.

It's my dad. I know him. He owns this place. You're like, well, you're not wrong. You do know your dad. Yeah, you do. You know him very well, unfortunately. Is he here?

No, dude. Well, call him. Let him take, get him, get him to come get you out of here. Sorry, I just smoked a whole jewel in one pot. Oh, dude. Are you jeweling right now? I ate it. You ate the jewel? Yeah, I'm so high. No, don't eat those. LSD DMT, dude. And the jewel? Yeah.

Okay. Dude, I just shit a jewel out actually, too. But then I re-ate it. Are there any Tide Pods here, dude? No. Dude, get out. Have you seen the new Tide canister that looks like a box wine? No. They're killing it on trying to kill everybody. So they made it shaped like a box wine.

Dude, it pours out like box wine. That's so cool. I love them. I mean, see, hey, play your strongest hand. You know what I mean? They understood that. Population stabilization. People were dying while doing it, and they were like, we we've got a big boost we should keep moving in the direction so they make some fucked

up shit every quarter is making wine boxed wine box wine it looks like box wine i swear to god okay so here's the thing i want to talk about like being like my dad i when i saw kids eating tide pods online you were like fuck yeah i was like was like, this, I, what, how? All right, I'm into it. You know what I mean? For a second I was off. Have you ever heard of Jankum? But Jankum's something from like my generation.

It is. Where you like poop in a bag and shit and piss and then you huff it? Yeah. Yeah, dude, I know huffing Jankum, dude. What? I was hip when I was a kid. Okay. I used to skateboard.

I didn't know about Jankum. Booze. Did you Jankum? I never Jankum, dude. But it was like a thing. I feel like I was. I only heard about it from Florida. And the reason I heard about it was because there's a YouTube video.

Well, it was invented for sure in Florida. For sure. Every weird thing is invented in Florida. If it's fucked up, it's from Florida. Like Jankum sounds. Jankum, Florida should be a city in Florida. If it's not, it should be. Oh my God.

Welcome to Jankum. Yeah. You know where it is. It's florida if it's not oh my god welcome to jankum yeah you know where it is it's right by tallahassee do you have you ever been to northern florida yeah do you play up there crazy yeah i mean like you have to be probably more careful about slandering places that you want to play but i don't give a shit yeah you don't i don't give a fuck about playing north florida hey if i never play north florida i don't give a fuck dude that place is so but i think that's shit i think that's different for me because you like being a comedian i think it's just it's definitely way harder because certain like i'm playing music yeah it's not gonna offend anybody ever well also i'm just

kidding i would love to play north florida if you're there that's such a comedian pussy push out no but seriously i would love the gig if there is something up there no i i just think i just think a jankum jankum when i was a kid i remember hearing about it and there's a video on youtube of of it's from florida and then the guy goes jankum also known as butt hash oh on the news people bag it and they put it in the sun for days yeah you know what's so sad though like at night night, sometimes if I can't sleep. You jank them. I jank them. Yeah, I jank them.

I've been saving my dog shit for about eight months. I heard that the moonlight is better. It's better if you jank. If you keep it out in the moonlight and then you take it in when the sun's out and then you put it back out. You got to do this for 60 nights in a row. Well, then you have to freeze it. You have to put some spores in it.

Yes. Inoculate it. Those are mushrooms in about two or three weeks. And also you get to have some butt stuff hot some buff huff some butt stuff have some butts but hash well it looks like we got a t-shirt huff some butt stuff but jankum no but i have gotten in wormholes where i've watched have you ever seen videos on youtube of people uh smoking salvia in their car no oh man there's a there's a couple where a dude just smokes salvia trips there's one that's really funny i think people know this it was the most popular youtube video

is where he jumps out the window no no he's sitting in his car he smokes a bunch of salvia and then he just has like kind of like a panic moment and then the camera turns and his cat is on the hood of his car and it's maybe the fucking most beautiful simple thing i've ever like he's he's high and he's kind of tripping and laughing. And then he like pauses and it's panic. He's like, and you see his eyes lighting up and the camera turns and it's just a beautiful white cat just staring back. It was awesome. The cat totally was Jesus coming.

That's amazing. Yeah, for him. I see God. Yeah, for that dude. Oh my God. That was it, dude. So he started his own church. He started his own Salvia church. My favorite video of that is the one where the

there it's a man and a woman they both smoke it together and then the guy crawls out of the window falls out and the girl's just going like this like convulsing not convulsing i think she was just like having fun looking like she was having fun my husband jumped out the window this is a party do people do you use drugs are you into drugs i only drink be honest with me dude i'm so honest right now okay have you used drugs in your past yeah so but you don't feel like you're over them now do you think yeah absolutely well you're called the culture of i can't be doing that stuff yeah yeah it's taken a lot of lives it's really shitty and sad but i just like drinking i i i get

anxiety if i do anything else and i already have anxiety like when you're talking about the festival stuff like i can't do that anymore i get anxiety from from that as well is doesn't does getting too drunk sometimes get you into that mood where you're like oh dude i'm too fucked up i can't be around all this stuff sometimes i get too shit-faced i'm like i gotta go home this is fucked up no no you sit in it stay in the pocket dylan stay here i'm here let it fester no no what's the hardest drug that you tried oh man i the first drug i ever did was speed what yeah wow i didn't know i was doing it was with my my really good friend julian and uh thanks a lot julian i'm not gonna say his last name but he but he got you on speed I mean I only did it like one time and that's it and then I never did it again what about

anything else acid I did acid one time my friend knew that he could get me to do acid because I was wasted and then drunk acid's tough shouldn't do that it was it funny. I do not recommend. It was the stupidest way to do acid. We watched Marie Antoinette. What? With, what's her name? Kristen, wait. Wait. Kristen.

I don't know. She's from Spider-Man. Kristen something. Not Kristen Bell. Oh, Spider-Man. The Weird Teeth? Yeah. Yeah, the girl with the weird teeth.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. What's her name? See, this is what I'm talking about. I'm in this business. I forgot it too. By the way, I'm going to meet her someday. She's going to be like, I heard you said I was the girl with the weird teeth yeah yeah the girl with the weird teeth yeah what's her name see this is what i'm talking about i'm in this business i forgot it too by the way i'm gonna meet her someday she's gonna be like i heard you said i was the girl with the weird teeth yeah and i'm like i fixed my snaggle tooth because of you well lady good you should have because it's fucking tough to look at i don't remember her name i keep wanting to say kristen stewart it's not kristen no look it up look we have to do this thing but uh um we were watching marie antoinette

and i remember watching it. And then I think an hour passed by and it started kicking in. And I was so high that I was like, Kirsten Dunst. Not Kirsten. Kirsten. So then I remember an hour in, I was like, all right, cool. That was fun, man. I'm going to go home.

My friend goes, yo, first of all, you didn't fucking drive here. And second of all, you're about to really be on acid. Because I like came to. Because I was blacked out when of all, you didn't fucking drive here. And second of all, you're about to really be on acid. Because I like came to you. Because I was blacked out when he gave it to me. Dude, no good. Because he knew he could give it to me. Yeah, because I never really wanted to do it. But I did mushrooms.

I've done cocaine before. So it was given to you. Yeah. Have you ever been snuck a drug? Where you're like, they're like, oh, you know what's in there? And you're like, what the fuck, dude? No. My buddy, I'll never forget, my friend Tyler, this fucking asshole.

I was flying back. I was in D.C. where he was going to school and I was flying back to, where was I? Maybe in Arizona at the time when I was in school. Whatever. He cooked us dinner. And you know those stofers, like pre-made? You know what I'm talking about? It's like chicken and pasta

It's like the Poor college kids Yeah Perfect meal And he He was cooking this pasta And I'm sitting on the couch It's pouring down rain

I remember the pouring down rain And He makes us this meal And then you know He serves it to us I'm eating dinner Having a good time And then I go to the bathroom

After dinner And then I'm looking In the mirror in the bathroom Like washing my hands And my face us I'm eating dinner Having a good time And then I go to the bathroom After dinner And then I'm looking In the mirror in the bathroom Like washing my hands And my face And I'm like Man dude I feel fucking weird

You put mushrooms in it No I go back out And I'm like Hey man What's going on Like I feel sick Did you cook that food

All the way He's like Oh dude Yeah I took Like a massive stick Of weed butter And put it Inside the pan

Oh my god It was all condensed Fucking weed butter I mean it inside the pan oh my god oh it was all condensed fucking weed but i mean dude he a huge chunk that his brother had given him that was homemade and so i was like well how much is in there he's like a ton dude i don't know i lost my fucking face i was freaking the fuck out oh my god one of the worst experiences i've ever had in my life i was like dude i didn't think that was coming when you don't think drugs are coming, they're so bad, dude. That's not the first time I've had it a few times

when I didn't know drugs were coming. You actually just reminded me of something as well. Okay, so this girl, so I was at Skrillex's birthday party, actually. Oh man, we got to hear all about,

this is great. Look, I got a name drop real quick. Yeah, no, trust me, I want to fucking know. I want to hear about all of it. So he gets there, or actually no, before he gets there

so we can surprise him. Is cool yeah it's awesome you're very close dude nicest dude nicest dude ever cool i mean i have nothing i haven't heard anything but but i just i want to know the insides of some of these people if you're like nah you know this guy's kind of a fucking tool no no i have a question for you about somebody else when there's go ahead okay okay so before he gets there this girl that i know like puts chocolate in my mouth and i'm eating the chocolate and uh i love chocolate you're a hot chick yeah that sounds cool exactly nope and then um wait no it didn't happen like that actually i think she had chocolate in her hand and then i

just i just ate it still that's what it was yeah i thought i thought she gave it to me but after i ate it she goes oh no what are you doing that had mushrooms in it oh lady and i was like oh well i didn't eat that much and she was like yeah oh, well, I didn't eat that much. And she was like, yeah, okay, cool. And so I didn't think anything of it. And then she disappears into the night. Yeah, cool. Gone.

She wasn't actually even there. Where did that mushroom princess gone? Where did she go? Wait, was she ever here? No, no. So he gets there. We say hi to him. We're hanging around.

His house. Yeah. His house. And I'm sitting down. I'm like, I'm kind of feeling weird. of feeling weird and i'm like ah you know i think it's because i just have to go take a shit so i go to the bathroom i'm taking a shit taking a shit in the house party is very cool yeah you got it very low so much fun i'm looking at the wall the wall is kind of already weird yeah and i see it moving and i'm like oh fuck your poop is moving the walls uh-huh this is a big shit i to get this out of me.

This shit's making the fucking walls move. So I'm like, I don't even know if I'm done shitting. I start really feeling it. And I'm like, I got to get the fuck out of here. I do not want to be on mushrooms at my friend's birthday party. No. Especially when you're pooping, I might think it's all going to come out. I'm like, my guts are going to fall out of my ass.

I don't even want to be on mushrooms. Yeah, exactly. That's why I was like, I don't know if i'm done or not and i don't want to know if i'm done like have you ever when you take a drink of something on mushrooms oh it's awful you can like feel it in your body every year it's like in your bones oh it's so fucking creepy so you're pooping you have to dip out pooping and i remember finding my friends and they were like oh they actually somehow took they they took the same chocolate as me so they're like yeah we did too oh fuck and i'm like we gotta fucking get an uber dude get a fucking uber so we all just go outside because i don't

want to see anybody i don't i make no eye contact yeah dip out so we call an uber it's a 45 minute drive back into because we're in malibu that's such a long uber this is so good though we put on the do you remember the mars volta come on of course so that album yes it's like yes we put it on and we're all it's full blast all of us are on mushrooms with some random uber driver listening to the craziest song ever and we all have to go and stop off because i think you had to get gas and we all wanted water it had to get gas you're like 90 miles away in fucking malibu he's like i gotta stop twice we'll be home by tomorrow the best is as we stop the guy goes what is this band and can we listen to it again because that was magical yes are you on mushrooms with us too yeah he's rolling hard dude that's awesome and so that

enhanced the trip home yeah dude there should be uber or lyft if you're listening which you're not but if you were there should be a drug uber at uh option it's like are you wasted that's a great idea are you sober are you on drugs because it's a different experience and by the way the drivers would be so much more inclined to deal with certain kinds of people right like you'll have people that are like i'll put up with with drunk assholes. I got an old fucking piece of shikari you can puke in here, I don't care. Because now it's like, you don't know who you're gonna get.

Or if they're gonna have a bucket. Yeah, exactly. But on mushrooms, a guy shows up with a Mars Volta blasting. Great lights, stuff to play with in the back. Don't worry, man, get in. It's safe. You're like, okay, trust this guy.

Fuck yeah. Don't worry, we got rolly balls for your hands rolly balls why is your dick out dude nothing let's go this isn't a dick it's a dildo whoa what can i eat it play with it yeah it's actually made of gummy bears right on thanks uber dude that's you know what's so funny though i've had i've had i've done mushrooms uh 10 times wow maybe more i think i've done that actually the same amount of time 10 10 to 15 times and i gotta tell you i've never not had a good time but i've had not a good time on a lot of other stuff on a lot of other stuff i think i talked about on this

podcast last time that i or a couple times ago that the worst thing i ever did was i did uh i did uh whippets with uh oh man i. I was in like fucking Nevada doing whippets and I woke up under a pool table. Some guy was like, you good, man? I must have like passed out a little bit. Oh, wow. Yeah, it was bad, dude.

It was so bad. I've had some of those. I've like woken up on... I've had some bad... I remember I woke up and this was just from drinking. I woke up in Williamsburg in a random loft

of a place that didn't have any beds yeah there were two other people sleeping by me didn't know where you had no idea no idea who they were i remember waking up my phone's dead i have no idea where i am so i didn't know i was actually even in williamsburg yet and you were originally in manhattan i imagine right you just went to brooklyn somehow don't know and uh i'd love to see you on the l train just blacked out holding onto wobbly a show no place i don't know um so then i i try to look at my phone i hear the girl russell like to wake up and i immediately just put myself down because i don't know who the fuck is sitting next to me and so i'm like you know if you're sitting on a couch or laying in

a bed no this is on the fucking wood floor oh dude everyone two other people were on the wood floor this is so good though she wakes up and i just hear her she like looks up and she goes oh fuck and falls right back asleep and and i wait a couple minutes till like i can hear some snoring and i get up and i go outside and i have no fucking idea where i am and i'm like all right thank you jesus for gps dude no i didn't have my phone wasn't on oh bro yo so i found a mcdonald's went into the mcdonald's i was like where am i like you're in williamsburg saved by the golden arches yes called a cab from there i bet you i know the mcdonald's that you're at i was just i was just there under the train that's exactly right i know exactly where it was that's so funny funny, dude. I was just there.

My buddy lives not too far from there. Maybe it was the same place. Yeah, you woke up at my buddy's house. But there was a Joe's Pizza right over there in Williamsburg. I don't know. Yeah, no, no, whatever. But Joe's that's in the village, you know, is the one that these people thought they were at. And these kids were blacked out.

And I had just come back and I was grabbing a slice to go home and watch the end of the world series on my phone and this girl goes what borough are what borough are we in i was like i'm sorry she goes what borough what borough of new york is this i was like you're in fucking brooklyn and she was like i told you and some like six eight dude like turns around. He goes, I said, shut the fuck up. We'll get the fucking pizza and we'll go back to the city. I was like, this couple's perfect. I hope you have children.

Oh my God. So when's the first time that you got drunk? Do you remember? Yeah, I was at my friend Andre's house. Shout out to Andre. What up? Oh, dude, I feel so bad though. Me and my friend. You were going to make me feel bad. You're like, I feel bad. Andre's house. Shout out to Andre. What up? And oh, dude, I feel so bad, though. We me and my friend.

You were going to make me feel bad. You're like, I feel bad. Andre's dead. We killed him. It was bad. We stabbed him to death. He was a snitch. No, he's fine.

No, he's alive. Andre just had to deal with me and my friend Phil. So we get to Andre's house and his parents aren't home yet. And we're like, yo, there was there was like, what was it? Fucking Smirnoff lemon. Ooh, the flavored Smirnoffs. There was a whole line of those fucking things. Yeah, the vanilla ones.

They're still out. The whipped cream. Yeah, but it's fucking horrible. Pineapple. But during that time, you were like, oh my God, this is so good. Lemon, Bacardi Lemon. By the way, I used to be a girl. Yeah, you were.

Yes, let's do shots. Delon. And that's what happened. Me and my friend Phil did four shots in a row. We had never drank before. That's a lot for someone that's never had a shot of alcohol. Exactly. Yeah.

So we drank and then Andre's like, dude, what the fuck are you guys doing? Like that's fucking, my mom's going to find out. What the fuck? That's my Aunt Kathy's stash, dude. Dude. Seriously. Well, he's Armenian. So he'd be like, I don't know.

Bro, bro. Bro, that's my mom's stash. Dude, my mom. Heash dude my mom he actually didn't even sound armenian at all oh well then you just threw me under the bus for no reason i just want to hear your armenian accent bro bro bro that's my mother's stash come on man what are you doing with this so we're both sitting on the couch and uh my friend phil just starts projectile vomiting without any warning love it and my friend andre has to push him outside and be like dude what the like just ruin the carpet white carpet oh yeah armenian right this is the

best white carpet yeah yeah that makes perfect sense white carpet white couch white couch white cat white mercedes out front everything dude you called it and you're the white guy that's in their house ruining it we have white car white cat white carpet white guy dylan come here you fuck everything up so you threw you had to throw him outside so we throw him outside he's throwing up outside just convulsing and i'm like oh man i'm good i'm good i'm totally fine and andre's like are you sure i'm like dude look at me i'm fucking great i'm sitting there for like two more minutes and i'm like oh god yeah i i start i try to get to the bathroom bile just starts flying out of my mouth as well and we just ruin

it looks like someone took a fucking fat ass diarrhea shit in front of the bathroom was mom and dad home? not yet how old were you at this time? we were I want to say 16 that's exactly the time when it starts that's when you start discovering

the best puke story that I have I had a buddy in college, my buddy Evan, who was my college roommate. This dude could drink, dude. And I think he had failed math. Yeah. Well, I think he had failed math for like the 90th time. He'll listen to this. He'll love it. But he had failed so many times, dude. But anyway, we went to this party. This girl that I was kind of seeing at the time a little bit she she like we ended up at some minor league baseball players apartment in arizona all these spring training guys come right or these minor league guys and they're fist fighting to try to get a spot i mean it's crazy dude when i say that i mean it they're drunk they're wild they're like

aggressive insane dudes that are like party animals who are also vying for a spot in the major leagues it's insane yeah nobody putters like that i mean maybe hockey players but anyway um baseball players have such a long season of being drunk so so we're at this we're at this place and my buddy evan is chilling on the couch and his back is leaning against the couch but his butt is on the floor right like imagine if you're sitting like this you know to lean up against it and he's a bottle of jack daniels he has a handle of jack daniels okay and he is like polishing it off by himself no exaggeration it's like more than halfway done and i go up to him and everyone's having a good time except for him i'm like dude you're being a real bummer you know like the scene in wayne's

row and he's like you're all partied out phil again you know like he was all partied out again and i was like dude you know like, dude, come on, get up. Let's go. This is too much. He's moping, being fucking sad, drinking by himself, giving people the fuck you, I'm in the army eyes. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, like that thing. Because he was in the ROTC. So he was like, fucking, I'm in the fucking military. No one to talk. I'll beat the shit out of everyone. He was a tough guy, like that kind of shit. I know exactly. You know this guy.

Yes. So he's pounding this drink. And I go, bro bro are you gonna be good i couldn't make this up within like perfect on cue he looks up in the air he like looks up in the sky oh no straight up and then just goes like a fountain oh straight up in the air and then on himself and dude he clever i will give him props he catches it in his shirt he pulls up his shirt i mean a perfect fountain into his shirt and then when he's done because i just watched and laughed and he was done he's like do you

open the door and i was like yeah i walk i open the door and he he pushed it off his shirt outside this is pre-uber days you know he's like i'll just call a cab and wait outside and i was like that's the coolest thing he's ever done yeah that's amazing i'm sure he went and got a burrito and then fist fought someone at filiberto's yes a popular spot someone was for sure like dude you have throw up all of your shirt beat the shit out of you you want to yell throw up on your face all right dude yeah i had i had uh i had such a debacle of a time in college that like i am surprised i made it out in four years did you go to college i didn't i went to santa monica community college and i I dropped out.

Cause you're a local LA guy. Yeah. Born and raised. That's so cool. Where did you grow up? I grew up in like Westwood area. I'm fascinated with anybody that grew up here. Westwood, Culver City. Yeah. Because not a lot of people grew up here. I mean, that's not true. A lot of people did. I just mean you meet more people that don't.

Yes, absolutely. Yeah. Because the people that do are, a lot of them don't get into the business cause they're like, I see what it does to human beings. Yeah. And you were stupid enough to get in. I know. You're an idiot. What do your parents do?

My dad's an alternative medicines doctor. My mom is his secretary. That's awesome. Yeah. Alternative, ooh, he's sleeping with his secretary. Yeah. Dude, that's scandalous. They've been together for 34 years.

Ooh, that's even sexier. Ooh, I bet you their sex is cool I don't want to think about that Let's think about your parents having sex No So alternative medicine? Alternative medicine That's cool

So all herbs, acupuncture So kind of Was he kind of hippie shit? Was he kind of a hippie when you were young? Yeah But you don't really exhume any of that hippie stuff do you? Not really It didn't follow through?

No But it's not that hippie stuff, do you? Not really. It didn't follow through? No. But it's not like that. I know. It's more like this is Eastern meets Western medicine. So it's more like Chinese medicine rather than some person be like, dude, if you eat a dandelion from Topanga Canyon, you'll solve cancer. I know that guy.

I love that guy. That guy's awesome. That guy's awesome. And I'm happy for him. Dude, fucking surf's out, dude. That's like everyone that lives in the South Bay. You know, that's what every guy sounds like that lives in the South Bay. Dude, what's up, bro? Fucking.

Yeah, dude, smoking a fucking bibbler and then we're going to hit the fucking waves. If you're late, you're fucking late. We're taking off, dude. So mom and dad, and then when you got into the business, were they cool with it or they bummed? No, they were cool. They, I mean, they were supportive. They were the ones that let me stay in their back house for a year just working on music.

Tell me what your ultimate dream was. Like, let me give you a... Playing Coachella. That was it. Yeah, that was like my ultimate dream. But you did it? I did it, yeah. How many times?

Four. Yeah, dude. Wow. Coachella is fucking huge. Yeah. I was like... Are you single right now? Yeah.

Were you single every time? Yeah. Well, how fun. How many headdresses ended up on your fucking. Jesus Christ. How many beads did you find? What's that game? Horseshoe.

Yeah, he played horseshoe with how many chicks, beads and headdresses and whatever. That's insane. Coachella is so, so big. I went to the third one. The third Coachella. Oh, wow. Ever. Yeah. That's insane. Coachella is so, so big. I went to the third one, the third Coachella. Oh, wow. Ever. Yeah.

That was definitely when it was, I went to the, I went to the third or the fourth one and I never went ever again because like I told you, festivals are not my shit. But at the time, I had a hookup through this music company

because I used to work in the music business when I first moved out here, man. Oh, really? Well, I mean, in the backgrounds of it, I used to do touring. I used to get bands, I used to help bands get visas. Oh I first moved out here, man. Oh, really? Well, I mean, in the backgrounds of it. I used to do touring. I used to get bands. I used to help bands get visas.

Oh, wow. Holy shit. Flava Flav. A fucking Cypress Hill. Dilated Peoples. Oh, my God, dude. Dilated Peoples. Incredible.

Come on, man. Yeah. When Rock Ira Science came in to the office, I was 23. 23? Was I 23? And I was like, hey, hey man you're like my literal hero you're like incredible

you guys are one of my favorite this is like my favorite group of all time it was incredible to work with people that I admired but I just worked on their tours

so I learned the weird touring I had this connection to music it's crazy and then that was just my day job so I could make some money to do stand up

the job happened totally on accident it was so weird I don't remember how I got it dude but I worked with so many crazy cool people. Mary J. Blige.

No way. Was not, I didn't work with her. What the fuck, dude? I was about to be like, yeah, wait, how is she? Is she cool? I didn't work with her at all. I worked with. Mary J. Blige was super chill.

I didn't work with her. From afar. I just wanted to, I wanted to name someone really dope that I didn't work with. That was good. You got me. I worked with, um, God, I mean, whatever, so many bands. Um, but, but that, that was my like into the music world. But when I went to Coachella for the first time with them, were you backstage? Yeah. I had a V the old VIP wasn't so cool. Now it's cool. It was kind of garbage. It was just like nicer porta potties, you know? And,

and, and, and my boss at the time was friends with an artist that played. And I, I'm so stupid to not know what it was, but whatever. But I remember seeing the kind of people that got access, the kind of women that got access to the back and these artists that were

hanging out with these girls. And I was like, this is just like a, like a lined up orgy. This is absurd. Like so many good looking girls with very ugly dudes getting whatever they needed whenever they wanted it. It was just drugs and alcohol and chicks. I was like, this is wild.

It was exactly what people think it is. Which is kind of nice because sometimes you're like, yeah, Playboy Mansion is not what you think it is. But Coachella backstage was exactly what I thought it was going to be. I feel like Playboy Mansion is cut. It's okay. It was fine. Okay.

I went when he was alive. Yeah? I went when they were parading around Hugh Hefner when he was alive. Like he was fucking, like he was in that movie where they, what's that dead guy? What's that called? Weekend at Bernie's. Weekend at Bernie's. They were burning him around and he was like hello great to see you

here's the tennis guy dude he was so gone when i was there i love all these women yeah yeah and the boys you know we talked about that no but i think it was such a sad time to go see him so when i went to the playboy mansion it wasn't it wasn't as cool as i'm sure it was 25 years ago it was probably like yeah coolest did you ever go you've been've been? No, no, no, I haven't. You never went? I've only heard about it. Yeah. Listen, it was fun.

Yeah. But your expectation was like New Year's Eve. Like, are we going to break shit and light a building on fire? I feel like that happens with a lot of places. Always when the expectation is too high. Yes. The coolest things. If you keep it, yo, seriously, that's a great thing though.

Yeah. If you keep your expectations so low super low so low you have the greatest time you're gonna win i promise you're gonna win yeah don't ever have high expectations also i like to throw myself curveballs like um for new year's eve i never make a big deal out of new year's eve but this year i'm going to see gwen stefani in vegas nice i don't i don't that's a n a n a. That's not a thing that I would do. I like that. But it was offered in the air and I was like, I'll do some shit that I would definitely never do.

That's a good idea. Yeah, because fucking you have to throw yourself curveballs. Yeah. If you do the thing that you know you're going to do, I promise you're going to be like, this is fine. Whatever. I knew it was coming. Yeah.

But I have zero inclination to go see Gwen Stefani. You're going to, that's going to be really fun. I want to have a good time. I'm going to go, I'm going to dress like a member of No Doubt. Where's that going to be? In Vegas. I don't know where she's playing. You should come to the show afterwards. Are you going to, that's going to be really fun. I want to have a good time. I'm going to go, I'm going to dress like a member of No Doubt. Where's that going to be? In Vegas. I don't know where she's playing. You should come to the show afterwards.

Are you going to be there? Yeah. See how it's all lining up? Look at this. Look at this. See how it's all lining up? Dude, this is, that's why I did it. Yeah.

I saw your schedule. I wanted to do it. All right, Gwen Dillon drunk. Yes. I just was like, I want to go do something that's out of my normal. I'll try to tell Dermer to come too He'll go He will

He's right now Or wait Is it now Or he just was at He was in Jamaica At what's his name's birthday Diplo's birthday Diplo had a birthday party

In Jamaica On his own island Did you go No I had to Are you homies with him Yeah Okay

Really good friends Because I Diplo had a birthday party In Jamaica And the itinerary online looked like he rented out the fucking island. No, he owns the island. Shut the fuck up.

Yeah. Really? Yeah. Dude, that guy's so rich. I don't. That guy's so fucking rich. The island didn't cost that much. Really?

I don't think so. How much would you imagine? I mean, I'm going to spitball and say that I probably cost, what, $2 million? That's it? And I don't think that's a lot for an island. No, that's not that much. I know some people are like, $2 million? I can't even buy a McDonald's sandwich.

Like, no, but for an island, $2 million. An island, $2 million. You would think that you were going to be paying around like $500 to a billion. Yeah, that's right. I thought it would be tens of millions. I don't think, yeah. Hopefully, I'm not throwing him under the bus for that. But I think, like, I mean, I wouldn't be throwing him. I, that's what I thought it would be. Tens of millions. I don't think, yeah. Hopefully I'm not throwing them under the bus for that,

but I think like, I mean, I wouldn't be throwing them. I think it's just cheap there. It's cheap. Yeah. And Diplo had... So everyone should go buy. Yeah, go buy islands, you guys.

Hey man, if you got cash, buy islands. Diplo had a bunch of people go and there was a huge itinerary and it looked, I was like, this is... I was bummed. I wish I could have gone.

It truthfully is exactly what I think I would do if I was rich. Like that rich? Yeah. Like I i have a great amount of money i'm feeling great about life but that's a level of rich where i'm like oh my god you could have an island where you're like i want a thousand of my clothes or whatever how many people went i don't even know a couple hundred people whatever to go whitewater rafting to go whatever the whatever crazy shit they did because what they did right did they just zip lining and they went they they look like they did some really like there was there was one where where i saw them on like a wooden built canoe yeah that wasn't a canoe that diplo handmade

by the way yes all diplo made yes and it was a souvenir that you bring home on news yeah yeah to send you home in a dip a newose. You actually had to unfortunately get back to the United States on your dip a noose made by Diplo. Which is, it's going to be hard to get back in.

Yeah, especially with Trump. Yeah. Trump's going to put the guy back. I don't want There's an invasion happening.

No dip a noose. Are you coming in to South Florida on a dip a noose? I'll fucking send you right back to Diplo's island. There's a bunch of people on canoes

trying to invade our country right now. They're angry. They're going to steal our women. They're stealing our women. That video of him. Diplo is such a puss hound. That invasion video is my favorite thing I've ever seen.

I know. This guy, dude. It is so fucking funny. I can't even give, you know what? I don't want to talk about Trump because I don't want to give him any more fucking air time. I feel like everybody gives him so much air time that I'm like, enough that fucking guy so i agree diplo's birthday yes you should have gone should have yeah i wish you did who was the most epic dj party or musician party that you've been to

doesn't matter the timeline it could be any time like i went to miley cyrus's halloween party that was pretty cool for me i i did you just hear that by the way i did no one's here someone's here we're dead dude are we gonna die yeah i mean this is our last this is our memoir this is okay so this is our memoir yeah mom i love you dad i love you skylar i love you uh mom i love you dad i love you. For everyone else, can suck a dick. Dick suckers. What a bad way to go out if I did die now. That's great.

They play that at our funeral? It's so good. So who was the most profound party where you're like, this is insane? I'll give you this while you're thinking. Because I got to go to Miley Cyrus' Halloween party and that was so much fun. I got to tell you, honestly had one of the best times i've ever had uh everything you thought was happening there was happening there mega ridiculous famous people where i was like why are you here that's i'm here i got well i got a good story okay i i'm i'm not that old i'm 31 yeah but when i so but you look 80 oh thanks man You old haggard. No, you look, dude, you look way young. You know what's funny?

I thought if I was going to guess, 26, 27. Okay, well, so 31. And if you were going to guess for me, what would you guess? 48, 46? No, I guess you were like 35. Right on the nose. Did I get it? Dude, right on the nose.

Fuck yeah. 35. Nice. All right, so tell me, you're 31. You're not that old. No, no, no. But, well, okay. So I went to this party in the

valley i think it was already gonna be a good time i'm trying to think of what day it was like oh i think there was like some maybe it was like it wasn't a halloween party national boss's day president's day oh wait thanks it was new year's okay no not new sorry fuck that's no no it was a independence day oh i love that party well yeah that movie was so good you guys just watched it on loop for like so it was like thrown by halsey oh halsey had it yeah okay are you really close with halsey no no i know her well i would say we're acquaintances i saw her on snl just now she She killed it on SNL. She's great. She did great with little wheeze. But it was her party. Okay. And when we went there, I felt like I was inside of YouTube videos that were like,

Hey guys, welcome back to the YouTube video. Okay, so today we're going to be testing my dad's deodorant. Is that what was going on? Yeah, I hope so. Because that's what it felt like. I felt so fucking old. Every fucking dude had the nicest coif I've ever seen. Because everybody there was probably... How old is she?

21. How old is she? I think she's like 25 or something. Right, so they got to be kicking it with all young people. Yeah, 22-year-olds, maybe like 18-year-olds too that are drinking. And I'm like, dude, this is not... I could get in trouble for this, actually. Yeah.

I could actually get in... If the cops come come and like who's the oldest person here and me what's up uh this 18 year old is illegally drinking and uh you're the legal guardian tonight yeah and they're like we're gonna bust you yeah you're going to that'd be a good headline dylan francis gets busted for for partying partying with 19 year olds dude it was just like you know what i'm talking about like There's like the YouTube quaffs. They don't have any pores in their skin. Yeah, what is up with that? It's like they've never gone through. What do they do?

They put baby blood on their face? Collagen and baby blood. Actually, I was talking to a friend today and apparently to, so to have no pores like that, Norwegian people used to do this during the winter time where they would just eat collagen all the time.

What? Yeah, and bone broth. I guess bone broth has a lot of collagen in it. I know is legit and so that's where it's from it's from nor from norway and also norwegian people were fucking raping and pillaging people way back then yeah they were definitely taking baby's blood rubbing it on their face damn dude we gotta get some babies it's just illegal right now you can't get them i'm not gonna bring them up but oh my god we can get babies dealing off the air we know how to get babies stem cells and baby's blood so that was the most that was

the most insane party it was it was insane because i've never felt so out of place yeah that's usually what happens and it's really weird yeah it's very weird to feel like i'm the fucking old dude walking around me like yeah hey you like tequila you want a vodka soda i was nominated for a latin grammy why is this guy a smoker from from 1986 i don't know i was nominated no that's immediately what you sound like when yeah they think you're that guy yeah i ended up in at russell simmons's house you know ruffles yes i ended up ruffles i ended up at his house doing a thing one time not for a party this is during the middle of the day what did you do he made me apologize for all the crazy shit white people have been doing for the past for the past 200 years um no we were just working on this project i got called in i didn't know was

at his house first of all i was like where are we going where is this and i went to russell simmons's house and i mean this obviously i'm not talking shit it was just so weird to be in this dude's house in the middle of the day because it was like what why do i get to see your your house during the day do you know what i mean by that you want to see it during the night yeah i don't want to go over to anybody famous's house i don't want to see it during the day because i don't want to see it like operating do you know what i mean i don't want to see like your the help doing stuff it's so weird i feel so invasive and odd like then like if a nanny is there it's okay come in yeah people cleaning up and you're like oh this is so fucking uncomfortable like i'm not supposed to be here now this is the you know what i mean like this for something for some reason it's how

i feel about drinking too i i've never been a guy who day drinks i don't like day drinking i know people love it day drinking oh i'm not my shit dude no look i'll do it i'm gonna be honest sure yeah sure i have i know that it's always gonna end horrible i say unless you go to sleep ends about 7 p.m that's when it ends for me but no see if you don't so You ride the train. I ride the train. Dude, you're crazy. It's always bad. You're a crazy dude, Dylan. Okay, the best party I've ever had was a year ago.

Yeah. Maybe it was two years ago. It was Labor Day. And in Vegas, all of my friends. I extended my. Vegas doesn't count because that's always a thing. But what you're saying was friends parties. Okay.

So first it was the chain smokers. Got it. I have never taken more shots in my life those guys party yes then so i extended my stay for that then the next night was keigo so i went to that with him go again and then i extended my stay one more night dude i was drinking this whole time was with diplo liver gone and the videos that exist online from that night. Of you? Are fucking hilarious. Yeah. Oh, they're good though. It's not embarrassing. Oh, yeah. It was like known as like Dylan's day off. That guy's fucking

drunk right now and it's so funny to watch. That's a good thing because you could have ended up online and they're like Dylan's talking to his penis in his butthole. That video could have been out. It was most like I was, my head would be against this girl's butt that kept twerking and I'd be like, dude, can't get good reception here. That's funny. What's up? video could have been out it was most like like i was i was my head would be against like this girl's butt that kept twerking and i'd be like dude can't get good reception here that's funny that's funny and it and it just was like a succession of different videos of her

in different places did you know this this young woman no but she just loved she loved the whole thing she was cool with it oh yeah yeah first was in the booth next was in the room of diplo's room where he always has after parties and probably one of them was like in the lobby somewhere right just like just can't hear anything what's up dude i think okay i think you tweeted one time you a bunch of people ganged up on a on a dj and you guys all were throwing shade who was it you know who i'm talking about was it david getta was it david getta i think i posted a video hating of him major hate right where where i would because he posted a video of him standing in japan yeah shibuya cross this was what it was

this is what it was yeah he posted a video where he's standing there and people are just walking behind him right and then he walks to the camera and gets the camera and during that time that black beetles like doom doom the where you're just supposed to not do anything right was huge so it looked like he either wanted to make a hyperlapse where it was people walking really fast right or that he wanted to do the black beetle challenge which neither of those were accomplished in the video yeah he failed so i recorded the video and reposted and i said what the fuck were you trying to do if it was the black beetle thing i made it for you here but let me know the best was that his flex was it doesn't fucking matter what i do i make more money than you oh cool it was so dope that's always that that's always like the weak man's

out as i make more money than you only so you and him are not chill i mean it was so funny i i saw him in vegas and i went up to him i was like yo it's just a joke i'm a white dude from like and he's like whatever i'm still rich i don't understand your jokes uh i go cool man where is he from he's from france oh dude fucking french i mean these guys they have no sense of humor no no i don't understand your joke your yoke is why don't you understand it the french don't get shit by the way i hope i don't i hope i don't have any friends yeah i want to be playing some shows in france soon i don't no no no i was saying for you oh i don't at all i won't take it back on that i don't ever need to go to france those guys are fucking

dildos oh man french come on you know what's so funny for a for such a place that has such a culinary history i went over to france i've been there a few times did that food is boner shit i'm gonna be honest the french food here is way better than it is there there yes of course it is because they actually cook the meat yep if you if you order a steak well you're still getting it medium rare right actually honestly it's you're still getting it medium rare. Right. Actually, honestly, they hear it and the chef goes, no. I give it to you rare.

Yes. You don't deserve to have any kind of sea or the outside. No, I don't like the French. You know, I got treated like shit. Me and my lady got treated like shit when we were in Paris. Really? I didn't like it. You know who also doesn't like the Parisians?

Who? Anybody that lives outside of Parisis so let me say let me say this france is chill no paris how do you say no in french no no no to the to perry perry was fucking poop i didn't like it but but okay outside of it was cool i'll say that paris is what i'm i'm i love shows for me in paris are always awesome yeah they got to be fun they're fantastic but but i don't think parisians are gonna get me yes i understand that there's no way i'm gonna go there and rip some jokes they're gonna be like this is perfect yeah they're all robots uh anyway i do want to play paris

no fucking whatever oh my god So what's up next for you Are you done for the rest of the year Are you touring No no so So The TV show On Funny or Die comes out Yeah we should

We should plug and talk We should plug and talk That comes out And then And then I do the Latin Grammys I'm nominated Do you speak Spanish dude A little bit

Say a little bit in Spanish Mas o menos Mas o menos Yeah So a little bit in Spanish Mas o menos Mas o menos Yeah So a little bit So you're gonna present To the Latin market? I'm presenting and I'm nominated

Whoa For one of my music videos Oh For what you For what wait It's the song Sexo Yeah you did with This guy Residente

Yeah that's right And he's fucking awesome That's cool Coolest dude I've ever worked with In my life It's called Sexo? Yeah Dude he's so fucking funny

Dude the Latin market's so great they can say whatever the fuck they want so not really no no because it sounds like everything's so sexual I mean have you seen in urban in urban music it is yeah fucking like Spanish TV is hysterical yes they just have naked girls with their boobs out guns always just pop out of nowhere well dude what do people love tits and guns you know what I mean why not so fucking true it's so true so sexo sexo so it'd be great if it wasn't about anything sexual it's like a letter you wrote to your mom if that's what the whole thing was about this is just a letter to my mother it's a sexo sexo sexo thanks for having sex yeah thank you for creating me dad thank you for

fucking my dad a sexo is just like a it's the song is just about how everyone wants to have sex people do things to have sex you go and right on the cut your hair so you can go and have sex fact you you dress a certain way because you want to have sex fact you put perfume on because you want to have sex fact you go and buy girls chocolates get them fish go to the the mercato check check check get the the the local band to come and play music for them. Go to the local carniceria. Exactly. Dude, that's so... I mean, at least they're being honest. Yeah.

We were super honest in that song. But no metaphors. No. Like in American music, there's so many hidden references to fucking. Dude, it was like... And then there's a part in the bridge where he's talking about the monkeys started fucking

and then condoms were created. What? What? It's so dope. They referenced the perhaps conspiracy invention of HIV. Is that what they're talking what yeah it's so dope they reference the the perhaps yes conspiracy invention of hiv is that what they're talking about that's so great dude it's no it's no off limits sexo yeah sexo is great i can i hear it right now is it on spotify yeah i'll send you the english version and then you'll be like oh i understand the whole song now but i only want to

hear the spanish version because i think it's even spanish version is way better that's so good sexo but so so that and then i'm just playing in vegas for the rest of the year and then doing uh a couple other random it's a short-term residency no and i have till next year as well next year i'm doing another how long for for next year and then and then my uh every weekend almost what where are you at at the win tell people yeah at the win i'm at the win where you're gonna be that's where i'll be for new year's eve i'm playing there i. I'm at the Wynn where you're going to be for New Year's Eve. I'm playing there at Intrigue. I will definitely be there. You're on my guest list now.

Dope. Yeah. I'm going to get in so much trouble. Dude, hang out with Russell Simmons. He'll be there too. Will he really? Yeah. He was actually, all jokes aside, he was a really funny dude.

I think it was just such an odd, it's always an odd scenario meeting people who i've like you know either like really like their work over the years divided attention or was it that's no he liked me he liked me we were we were helping him punch up something that they had they were producing um and he was a cool he was a cool dude it's just so weird being at someone's house during the day yeah like uh we were trying to we were trying to develop this show um oh my god dude i'm so stupid i can't remember the dude's name but we went to his house um and uh this rapper and all these dude all these rappers there was like they just got a house in laurel canyon like oh my god overlooking the city it was like 50 dudes and one dude was just making mac and cheese i'm not kidding dude i'm not kidding three hours

he was making bowls of mac and cheese for people the squad that that rappers have it's it's so cool i don't i i it's cool but i don't get it because i love being alone well yeah dude we're white guys yeah yeah like we don't that's not our thing there's certain people that don't like being alone like that are white guys no skrillex really doesn't like being alone but he's not white he's like a different kind of guy i guess you're right yeah he's yeah diplo doesn't like being alone yeah but but that's that's maybe because he's a different kind of white as well yeah yeah i can see that as well yeah you're right yeah see i'm saying like like normal white dudes are like i kind of like being alone i just

want to be by myself be myself i want to be by myself and just J-O Nothing makes me more Anxious than being Like being around too many people Like I was around I have that now I used to not be that way Yeah when I was young I guess when I was in college Or when I was younger but after that dude

No way like I went to I went to Usher's birthday party Usher's birthday party. Usher's birthday. That sounds awesome. Dude, it was fucking amazing. Why haven't I been to cool birthday parties? Yes, you have, dude.

You go to cool shit all the fucking time. I don't think I have, man. No, shut up. Dude. But I get invited to these things on accident. I don't deserve to be there. I love that. I don't deserve to be there. But I was at Usher's birthday party.

I think that's when you have a better time. You're right. You're right because I was there and I was dancing with Justin Bieber. I'm not kidding see and uh and um dudes again with the names with me what's the the ferrari and jaguar switcher four lanes top down hollaback money anything bubble hard come on what's that dude's name what damn what's that dude's name too easy isn't that so no this is an old song dude how's how embarrassing that I don't remember. Wait, sing it one more time.

Ferrari and Jaguar switching four lanes. Who is that, dude? Who's that artist? Jermaine Dupri. Oh, wow. JD was there. I don't remember that song. What?

In the Ferrari and Jaguar switching four lanes with a top down. Holler back. Money in the thing. Oh, wait. Okay. Now I get it. money in the thing. Oh, wait, okay. Now I get it. Money in the thing. Yeah. You're singing it a little bit more.

I was singing like a white loser. No, now I think the cadence was right on that. Oh, okay, okay, okay. Got it. Dylan's just saying I have no vocal tone. You're terrible at singing. He was there. So many interesting people were there that I was like i don't i have no business being

here but but i felt i felt like it was perfect like everything was perfect in that moment i was like i could do no wrong i could say anything i could do anything people were laughing at me see that's great it was really this white dude is fucking funny white motherfucker's funny as shit hey hey you see that orange headed ass motherfucker that orange headed ass goofy looking motherfucker funny as fuck. Yo, he crazy, but he funny. Some rapper that I don't know let me wear his chains. Like, he let me wear, like, this big iced-out chain for, like, five seconds.

I mean, like, his dude was standing there like, yo, you better take that shit off. I might kill you right now. He gave it to me, the rapper, but then his security guard was also like, I mean, fucking daggers. Like, yeah, take that shit off, you fucking white, crusty-ass ass crack a mother you know what i mean like it was it was a fun toy for like a minute and then it was walk away with it actually yeah yeah i want to fucking smash you down yeah dude he was one i want to fucking take my one hand and just fucking go ahead you're just dead take two steps with those bitch ass legs you got crack those motherfuckers like toothpicks i mean dude he was staring me the fuck down i was like dude am i gonna steal this shit yeah i i've been in i've been in so many parties where i don't belong

okay i'm not gonna down this moment okay i don't want to down it but i do want to know yes were you homies with avicii i had met him one time before that yeah and then um like uh maybe one other time but i'd like there's a video of me going in and saying hi and being like, hey, I really like your music. Because I used to joke around. I used to... Because I'm such a fucking troll on the internet. That's fun.

So I used to troll them a lot with Levels. Yeah, because Levels was such a big song. So there's even a music video where I'm playing a song and it looks like I'm playing to a huge crowd. And then all of a sudden it turns around and it's just my grandma and she goes, when are you going to play Levels? So I used to troll him like that

and then I met him and I was like, yeah, I mean, I legitimately like your music and I think Levels is great. Doesn't everybody troll in your business? Yes, somewhat. That's a part of it, right? Yeah, somewhat. I think more of the American artists do it.

Dutch artists don't really understand how to joke around. Yeah, their sense of humor is so off. They don't get it. They don't have it. And Swedish people, they know how to joke around a little bit better. Yeah. But they don't joke around. No, you joke around.

And they go, ha, ha, ha. Yeah, ha, ha, ha. Well, I'm going to be making more money than you. Very funny. I make millions and millions of money. Yeah, exactly. Thanks, David Guetta. All characters are the same at this point.

I knew him. It was definitely like, you know, he was going through some tough shit. And I think that's just because he was so young. Do you imagine that? How young was he? He was, I think he was 17 or 18 when he got into like,

propelled into notoriety over in Europe. That's way too young i think in america it started when he was like 20 wow and then drugs alcohol if you're not if you're not meant for being in that like yeah if you don't have a strong willpower to be like all right tonight i'm not gonna drink because it does get tough i think as a comedian you can understand yeah yeah it's it's tough when when you don't have sounds it's it's tough when when you don't have sounds it's gonna sound

give it don't have a substance to lean like if you're just sober and you're and you're playing to a crowd and nothing's happening it fucking

it hurts yeah it hurts deep down do you drink at every show no you skip a lot of shows some shows I'll skip and sometimes I will

it depends on like what my schedule is. Do you smoke pot? No, I can't. Good for you. Only thing I can do is drink. Good for you. I like it.

I actually love it. And some shows like I won't drink drink. I'll just have one to kind of ease the pressure. Yeah. But yeah, it's tough. And I can understand like I think comedians have the toughest job. Well, dude, I'm at a bar every night. Yeah. Isn't that funny funny it's like a comedy club

is literally a bar yeah I mean think about it from yeah because everyone has to come in and have two drinks yeah

so what am I doing I'm also gonna have a drink with you you know what I mean wouldn't it be weirder I mean there's a lot of friends of mine that are sober

because of what comedy has done to them and I shouldn't blame it all on comedy but whatever but they have the disease. But a lot of guys. It's the circumstances that you're putting.

Yeah, man. Because I was talking. It's funny. I was talking to Dermer about this. And it's very. Who's a violent alcoholic. Our friend Brandon. He beats women and children and animals.

It's so fucked up, dude. Yeah. So he buys animals from adoption centers. Just to beat them. Yeah. And then gives them back and says yo this dog was given to me it's so gross but you know what we love him we love him um poor turmer yeah sweetest soul sweetest guy he deserves every inch of this uh so i was talking

about i was like it's it's it's crazy that in in my line of work every person that's going to a show it is, it's that expectation of it being their greatest night of their life. Yeah. Sometimes I'm not going to say every single person thinks that, but that's what they're thinking. They don't realize that I've either been traveling from someone else. Hopefully I haven't been traveling from somewhere else, but you usually are.

Yeah. And sometimes it's like, you know, jet lag or, or just sleep deprivation that will affect a show or anything. And alcohol does help you get into it. Yeah, get back. So it is definitely, you have to really choose your battles of when you're going to be drinking

a show or not. I mean, it affects me when I do two shows a night, right? Yeah. And talking for an hour is harder than people think. Then you have to talk for another hour later in the night. If you're getting heckled at all either? Well, it's not even that. It's just constant giving of your energy

to speak constantly. People don't know it's like a physical exercise just as much as it is a mental exercise for us. Because even though I'm not fucking lifting weights on stage, it's physically demanding to keep pumping out this energy, energy, energy. And it's mentally demanding. You have to be on your toes the whole time. Well, our broken so that i don't even go fuck about this thing is just

a mush it's just going but your body is just so and you get so drained so after the second show and people are like i want to hang out and you're like dude i'm sorry i just want to fuck off like yeah i don't want to hang out you know so i think that's i think that's what's hard so that's a right right now you just said something very true to my heart. Well, this is why musicians, comedians, all this, this is why the overlap is so thick. Yeah. I think it's also why you probably do not just music. Yeah.

We have a very similar performance where our body takes it's the similar where because you're like out and giving and doing and doing and giving like i'm not i'm not fucking strumming or like yelling but i have to try to control and make a crowd have fun to think that that doesn't take any effort is insane you know when people joke the the cheap joke when people like what do you push a button yeah dude they push a button yeah that's what they push a fucking button all the anxiety and the build-up of putting on a good show They just push a button That's just the same As saying to a comedian

It's guaranteed What do you just Do you just tell a joke You already know Is gonna work It's like yeah man It takes no effort From my mind

To try to form something To give it to you In a type of way And hopefully deliver The same way With the same timing That I hope it's received Yeah

Yeah people I mean you know It's easy to shit on Cause it looks When someone's good If you're, it's easy to shit on because it looks, when someone's good, if you're good, it looks easy. Yeah, dude.

When I'm doing, when I'm killing, if I'm doing great on stage, people afterwards are like, you just think of all that stuff up there? You're like, yeah, dude, I thought of it fucking on stage. What?

But like, that's the same thing for you guys. They think it's like, you just, you're just winging it up there, picking songs willy nilly? Are you just playing through? Yeah, dude, I'm just, yeah, I didn't put any effort into this this wasn't planned like i think people need to know that there's so much more that goes into performance like that how much

do you sleep do you sleep a lot no no wish dude i really wish i did i sleep a lot two times when i get sick okay i sleep like a fucking rock i'm out for like three days uh which is like every other year i get sick like every every two years or when i go home to see my family that's it when i go home dude how much are you sleeping every night four to six four to six hours yeah man i'm a weirdo and you and you wake up and you feel energized no i wake up and i and i just how much coffee do you drink i i am i am inundated with caffeine and sugars. Okay. And I'm not even going to pretend to be one of these fucking, I work out every day, but

I also love all my vices. I'm never going to stop. You work out to eat. Yeah. I'm never going to stop drinking Coca-Cola in a bottle, Mexican Coke, because it's the greatest thing that's ever been fucking invented. I'm never going to give up sweets and sugars. I don't have a big sweet tooth, but like when I want it, I fucking want it. Okay. And I also, I'm never going to give up sweets and sugars. I don't have a big sweet tooth, but like when I want it, I fucking want it.

Yeah. Okay. And I also, I'm never going to give up liquor and meat. Liquor. Like, yeah, I know these will kill me, but like, what am I doing here? Meat's great for you, dude. Is it? It's great for your iron.

I need it. Yeah. I just coughed. I'm dying. Sugar's just bad. Sugar's really bad. Sugar's like the worst. I also don't care.

No, no. I'm just saying. I'm just saying that. But I know it is so bad, but I don't ever consume like unnecessary sugar i guess i just i like if it's in it's in whiskeys and scotches and stuff yeah i have it that's the only sugar that i can i don't put sugar in my coffee i don't my meals are pretty basic i just feel like there's a lot of weird societal pressure to like eat the way that people want that people who watch the fucking documentary want you to eat like i saw what the health and it changed it's like dude shut the fuck up you know

what i'm never gonna stop once in a while grabbing a late night cheeseburger from a from a fast food place because it feels good i understand this is probably gonna make so many people get so angry light them up dude fuck them let's go we gave them enough but the thing is the the it's convenient i know that these animals are getting fucked okay but yeah do you really want to go out and hunt because that's what it's stopping you from doing right because if you don't do that if you don't go out and hunt your own food who what who else is going to do it for you right you're we're all part of the problem yes let's not pretend absolutely yeah i know i know that i know that i'm creating a bigger stop that all but we're

gonna all have to fucking leave the city yeah i'm going cow hunting tonight gotta go hunting gotta go because it's humane that way yeah if i go hunt it if you go hunt it i get but then and then people bounce back and they say well you should just be eating vegetables because that doesn't harm the environment you're like but i'm hungry that's all but no you you shouldn't just be eating vegetables because there's different there's different like there's different vitamins and minerals that you need that are from certain things. And yes, you can make fake versions of those, but they're not as good as the real one. Right.

And also, there's always going to be a fucking FDA thing where it's like, guys, guess what? We found out that if you take iron that's not actually from meat, you're going to die. Right. Like, there's not that testing yet. Right. No, we're not there yet. Well, it's kind of like how I feel we were joking about the jewel shit that's exactly how i feel about vaping yes it scares the shit out of me i don't do it but i see people that do it and

i'm like dude how do you know what that robot dick is gonna do to you you have no idea what that robot dick is gonna do to you it's crazy it's gonna and and i mean same thing with the internet with social media i mean they've already been doing tests on that and they say that it's that social media makes you fucking depressed yeah well dude i have a cell phone right right underneath my cock yeah and it's got instagram out right now your dick is this is the worst fucking place for this oh yeah on my cock yeah that can radio waves on my penis yeah but you know what dude fuck it fuck it i got my fucking vices and i don't give a shit that's right that's the theme of this podcast Dude I'm so thankful that you came Thank you man

You're the fucking best Plug anything that you want right now Go to your website Just go watch Like and subscribe That's it Go watch like and subscribe That's it

That is the number one way To get the most Dylan Is someone here They might be Might be like a clean We're gonna die If we do dude It's been dope

It's been dope Thank you brother Thank you Whisk Whisk Whisk Whisk You're, whisk, whisk. You're that creature in the ginger beard.

Sturdy and ginger. Like vampires, the ginger gene is a curse. Gingers are pugilist. You owe me $5 for the whiskey and $75 for the horse. Gingers are hell no. This whiskey is excellent. Ginger. I like gingers.