Whiskey Ginger with Andrew Santino - Donnell Rawlings

Episode Date: June 19, 2020

Santino sits down with Donnell Rawlings to talk about his time in the Air Force and getting burnt overseas, playing black rooms over white commercial rooms and blocking traffic in Manhattan to get the perfect take of, "I'm rich bitch!" TICKETS NOW ON SALE FOR THE WILBUR THEATER IN BOSTON!!! https://thewilbur.com/artist/andrew-santino/ Tickets now avail for NEW DATES FOR MIAMI AND PHOENIX!!! https://www.andrewsantino.com SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS! GOLF! - Win 25K by simply going to https://golfcritique.com enter code 25000 for a chance to play with Brian Urlacher and Holly Sonders Use promo code WHISKEY when singing up for 15% off DHM DETOX - Beat your hangovers!!! Take two pills before you drink to make the next day a breeze https://dhmdetox.com Use promo code WHISKEY for 20% OFF BUFFALO TRACE - The ONLY bourbon with balls Pick up a bottle and tag us when your taking a sip of the sweet sauce Drink responsibly, must be 21+ For all things Donnell: https://www.donnellrawlings.com Join our Patreon : https://www.patreon.com/whiskeygingerpodcast Buy Merch: https://shop-andrew-santino.myshopify.com Follow Santino on Insta and Twitter: https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino/ & https://Twitter.com/cheetosantino Whiskey Ginger Insta and Twitter: https://www.instagram.com/whiskeygingerpodcast/ & https://twitter.com/whiskeyginger_ EDITING AND PRODUCTION DESIGN BY THE AMAZING WHISKEY GINGER TEAM JENNA SUNDE https://www.instagram.com/jenna_sunday/ JOE FARIA https://www.instagram.com/joseph_faria Intro Music by Rocom: https://www.youtube.com/user/RocomTelevision Guest Memes by Nathan Baird: https://www.instagram.com/drawnfromthemind/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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October, we're supposed to be in Boston. I'm supposed to be in August. I'm supposed to be doing Phoenix, West Palm, and Miami. We're hoping that they keep these dates. We'll figure it out. Check the website at andrewsanzino.com for tickets. You'll see all that stuff lined up there. My guest today is Donnell Rawlings.

I love that dude. He is phenomenally funny. One of the most rhythmically funny on and off stage comics I've ever had the pleasure of calling a friend. You're going to love it. Enough chatterboxing out of me. This episode of Whiskey Ginger is brought to you by Buffalo Trace. Buff Trace, the only bourbon with balls. I've talked about this sauce in the past and I love it so very much.

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My guest today is one of my favorite people on earth. I say that for all my guests, but I mean it once again. Today, it is Donnell Rawlings. Donnell, thanks for coming. Air cheers in the time of COVID. Bop, we can't touch, you know? Thank you. Cheers, man.

I've got a question. I definitely don't want to pull the race car right out the middle. Yeah, pull it. Right? But the speed of which you introduced me, is that the speed that you reserve for your African-American guests, or is that the speed that is for everybody else? That's for all the guests.

That's for all the guests. That's every single intro is like that. It's with that speed. Yeah, I do it that fast every single time. So it's not a situation where like some FBI agent here or something like this

is like this, okay, I'm going to get through it real quick and then go check the cars. Not that situation. Come on in! Bust them! Well, we can air cheers to that.

Yeah, air cheers to that. Bob. Yeah, no, I traditionally have a fast speech anyway. People are always like, what do you want, fucking Adderall? No, even when I'm high as fuck, I still talk fast. It's just my whole life. So when I do the intro for the show, it's always been like that.

So it's never changed. But people aren't probably as critical with you with talking fast as critical to me. Why? I don't know. For some reason, people, they just want me to shut the fuck up. Bro, I actually, I saw- No, I'm just saying it's like, yo, man, I'm telling you, bro.

When you did the Comedy Store benefit, and it was you, Bill, Dave, and Neil. And Neil, every time, like you were having a great time, and Neil was trying to kill your buzz. Right. You felt that? Oh, he was trying to kill your buzz so fucking hard.

Hello. All he was trying to do was like, okay, Donnell. Yo, fuck social distance, sir. Oh my God. It made me laugh. I was like, why is he was trying? And then Bill had your back, though, because Bill goes, there was a tech message. Bill had my back, but then Bill let me down, too.

Yeah, but that's what Bill's going to do every time. I know. I was like, oh, this is a sneaky white motherfucker right here, sir. That's just like us, man. You know what? That is I know. I was like, oh, this is a sneaky white motherfucker right here, son. That's just like us, man. Yo, you know what? That is like him. It's like, hey, Donnell, come on. Hey, guys, get him now.

Yeah. We set you up. We have to set you up to let you in. Yo, and I, and god damn, that's what makes Bill Burr a great actor. Yeah. Because he sucks me into that bullshit every fucking time. It's like back to one. Every fucking time, I was like, like yep that's why i love you bill

yeah bro bill bill has the ability to that's what that's why he's a great joke writer too like he he does that thing yo you where it sets you up so i'll say joke writer translation that's what makes him a great asshole yeah great asshole okay yeah joke writer same shit yes great comics are great granted name one name one great great comic that you know that it doesn't have asshole in them um who can you name that's actually great in comedy that you go yeah they don't have a little bit of asshole inside of them david chapelle no asshole at all yo and i'm telling you how people like i know motherfuckers fuck y'all fuck y'all fuck you in the comments i know there's some motherfucking middle-aged white dude right now

yeah with a hairline that looks like this right okay yeah but he wants to do this all the time you don't want the world to know right i know he's saying oh yeah don't tell me he's gonna say but um i can honestly say that no asshole asshole. No. Like not even. Sinister. A little asshole. A little. Wait a minute. You said sinister. That's important.

Like he has moments of being sinister, but not being. Yeah. But there's no. But his whole, like his character is not asshole. Right. And then when he becomes that asshole, for the most part, it's with people that he loves and close to him. Well, that's, yeah, that's how you treat your real friends you know what I'm saying

it's like like certain asshole things he'd do to me he probably wouldn't necessarily do it to anybody else that's because of how close

how much he respects you yeah you're only nice to the people you're only nice to the people that you like but you're mean

to the people you love yeah that's true you know but if anybody to answer your question if I could say anybody that's close to not having any, because his shit is almost, it's like new AIDS. Yeah, he's got new shit, new AIDS?

No, it's like having new AIDS. Yeah. Where, like, you can boast the fact that you have such a small amount of AIDS that it's untraceable. They can't even find it. Yo, son, that is the funniest thing. Dave Chappelle's mean is new age. You got some corona motherfuckers.

You know what I'm saying? But it's like age down is like where you can almost feel in a club be comfortable like this. Hey, how you doing? I got AIDS but it's untraceable

they can't find it yeah it'll be a bitch like oh shit cause mine is traceable you know what I'm saying would you be more scared to fuck someone with COVID right now or AIDS they've got AIDS on lock I feel like people don't die anymore from AIDS

they don't bro and it's so funny you said that because like during the COVID shit, like I answer all phone calls. You know what I mean? You do? Yeah. Just in case? Because you don't know when you're going to get the COVID call.

Yeah, that's true. That is very true. You don't know when you're going to get the COVID call. You don't want to be like a motherfucker dialing you and then he was like, nigga, I was trying to call you. I hit you for three days. You didn't answer. I hit you for three days.

So this, and I made a joke about this I said man I'm so nervous when I pick the phone up now man one of my buddies called I said yo you alright I said you don't got

you don't got the COVID do you he said no motherfucker I got AIDS you're like oh thank god I was like thank god thank god

so I was like this whew yo I was like boy you had me worried for a second it makes me think like anybody I've ever hung out like, boy, you had me worried for a second. It makes me think like anybody I've ever hung out with in the past couple of months that I'm going to get a phone call from them. It's the same feeling that when you're dating girls and you're waiting for a phone call from a girl from way back that's like, hey, you probably need to get tested. That's like the same anxiety when somebody is like, we hung out four months ago.

What do you mean? I haven't seen you in months. No, no, no, bitch. If you ever say you probably need to get tested you do yeah you just don't want to commit to you might have burnt me bitch you know what i'm saying like probably is do do yeah just leave out the word probably you need to get tested but that does they do throw that in there people girls will go you might you probably you might want to get tested you because just in just in case because. It's always this weird shaky... Although I had a girl in college

the first time I got burnt up. Smoke. She was real honest. She was like, hey, I've got some shit. Go in. You've got it for sure. You don't argue that.

No. I'm rushed right in. But I respected the fact that she told me right away. She's like, not going to lie, I found out. When I was in the Air Force, it was motherfuckers getting toasted so much

yo that's like a thing by the way they say that everyone gets burnt in the in the in the armed forces yo they say in korea this is like 20 some long time ago motherfuckers say you can't mother say you ain't can't say can't say you been in Korea unless you got some smoke. You know the new phrase in there, I want all the smoke. They had all the smoke over there. They had all of it. It was so funny because motherfuckers would be in there, right? Like Monday morning, motherfuckers would be like, motherfuckers would be over that joint like,

they say, what are you here for? They be like this, sore ankle. Because the sheet is right there where everybody named, motherfucker. Everyone sees it, yeah. Yeah, like back pain and shit, bro. Right. A sore tooth. Yeah, the sore tooth.

Yep. Motherfucker go lipping in and shit. They like, doc, nigga, give me the shot. Let me get the fuck out of here. But they had guys, when I was in the Air Force, when I was stationed in Korea, they had motherfuckers was ride or die. I wasn't a ride or die motherfucker. They had motherfuckers that was getting smoked so much,

they was getting charged with destruction of government property. Really? In the military. So what happens when you get- Your government property. First off, when you sign that paper- They own your ass.

The government owns you. But wait a minute. When something like that happens, what's the punishment? What do they put you through? If you get charged with destruction of government property, you got different levels of disciplinary actions. Like one being an LOR. What is that? A LOR is a letter of reprimand.

Oh, just somebody writing a mean note about you? It is a mean note, but the mean note equals the you get enough of those mean notes yeah then you get an article 15 what the fuck is that article 15 is like five mean notes and what so childish no it's you're gonna get five mean notes then you're gonna get an article article. But the way that is, is because, so once you get LORs, the mean notes, you still can make the same amount of money, get the same rank.

Then when you start getting article 15s, they start. Oh, you get demoted because of it? You can take, you get nothing. Damn, you lose rank over that shit? Yeah, that's the setup.

That's one of the reasons why I got out because I was like, they're not going to kick me out now. But I see where they're going with this. How many mean notes did you get? I had probably 10 mean notes. Oh, shit.

Yeah, and I was like- From all sorts of shit. I was an LOR motherfucker. You know, I was gay. That was like, LOR is like guys with a special ed. Right. You know what I'm saying? You weren't dumb. You just wanted to be around all the fun is like guys that was a special ed. Right. You know what I'm saying? You weren't dumb.

You just wanted to be around all the fun kids that happened to eat chalk. Right. Right. I like hanging out guys. You're not dumb. It's fun. Yeah, it's fun. It's just having fun.

I'm having fun. I want to hang out with the guy who's putting his finger in a pencil sharpener. Right. You know what I'm saying? That's what LOR was for the most part the cool motherfuckers. LOR motherfuckers usually guys, they're not going to be in a while. I'm just trying to get these four off and I'm out of here. Rob Markman, the real entrepreneur.

How long were you there? Rob Markman, the real entrepreneur. I was stationed in Korea for a year and I was in the Air Force for four years. But I knew they was gunning for me. Not intentionally be like, oh, he got about five million notes, let's give him some more. In fact, almost every Monday, or every other Monday, I know I used to hear this from my guys who were in charge, I don't know what rank they was, first shirt or whatever.

This was the phrase they used with me all the time. Looked me right in my face, and I had to listen to this at the position of attention. You know, you can't, you got, when Muffin cursed you out of the military, you got to just be like this. Rob Markman standing stiff like a dick. You can't be like this nigga here, you know. Rob Markman Although you're thinking it.

You can't think it, but you can't, you gotta look, it gotta be in your pupils. Rob Markman Right. look it got to be in your pupils right right and um every monday it was uh airman rawlings your blatant disregard for a stab you're blatant like we got disregard but you just don't give a fuck you did it on purpose you did on purpose you don't give a fuck yeah if they say your blatant disregard for established military military policy shows a lack of military bearing and integrity. Damn. Did that hurt? Like genuinely, did it ever bother you?

I heard it all the time. Yeah, it didn't mean shit, huh? The only time it meant something to me, I was supposed to leave Korea. Right. Right. What year was this? This was, I don't give up. I'll just say it was this year.

It was a while ago. yeah yeah it was it was a while ago it was back then right but i do know so you're ready to go you know i'm not ready to go i'm out you're gone i'm processed off this base when you're in the military like if you're doing a remote assignment assignment like you got you know you're doing a year. When you get to like a month, you start getting cocky. It's like senioritis. Yeah. You're gone. You're gone.

You check the fuck out. We call it a short time calendar. Short time calendar could be any image, and you had numbers, 100 until zero. So every day, you color it in. Yeah, doing the X-Rows. My fucking was all good. They was artistic as shit. They was like- Shading it in. Yeah, doing the X-Ounce. They was artistic as shit. Shading and shit.

You know, blow that shit off, son. They like this. Waiting to go home. Then you get down. Then you got other motherfuckers got a short time calendar, but they might be there still a little longer than you. So you start talking shit to other short motherfuckers. You like,

nigga, I'm so short, motherfucker. Yo, you were just how short you were. I'm so short, motherfucker, I could dunk on a four-foot basket. That's how short I am. Another motherfucker like, nigga, I'm so short. And then they start saying like this. I remember one time, motherfucker said, how many days you got left? Motherfucker said, I got 10 days left. And then one nigga named, goddamn, I forget his name. But he a country motherfucker. He said, I said, how much time you got left?

He said, 10 days. Then motherfucker said, man, if I had 10 days, I'd kill myself. Because he had three days. Three days. Yeah, he talking shit. Like, 10 and three day niggas supposed to be the same motherfucker. No, not today. No, not today. No, motherfucker.

Seven days is forever. That's a whole other week. Bruh. I went all the way down to one day to out-processed to last night, Kunsan Air Base, A-Town downtown, I had to go see my Korean bitches for the last time gotta say bye, it's disrespectful to leave without saying bye yeah, and those were some cool ass bitches

Ruby, Ruby, Luby she was beautiful did they have nicknames for you when you came? yeah, what was it? Eggie Eye Eggie Eye mean baby Eggie-eye? Uh-huh. Eggie-eye mean baby. Eggie-eye. Eggie.

Eggie. Eggie is baby. Why baby? Because like baby love, like that kind of bullshit? No, they call me baby because I look so young. I was 17. I was just turning 18. And like, I don't-

So they say, Eggie, Eggie. Eggie-eye. Eggie-eye. And you talk to, hey, Eggie, how you doing, Eggie? You know, that's how I would talk to motherfucking Bobby right there. Bobby know. Yeah, yeah. Bobby, when me and Bobby know, I don't have to speak Korean to him.

I could just look at Bobby a certain way, and he'll think he's talking to his father. He's back. Yo, if I looked at Bobby like, I know he'll be like, he'll be like, dad? Papa. No, he would, just because of the tone of my voice yeah the fact that i'm older than him and how i use it he would have flashbacks of his father i guarantee you could you speak korean still or no yeah but not like um um i know more than bobby well bobby doesn't bobby's that's not a good he's a white korean yeah he's a white kid yeah white korean yeah he's a

white korean yeah so you you're you're on your way You're on your last day. I'm on my last day. Yo, I went downtown. I had a good time. Sage, I sold you. We getting, I'm saying, Happy New Year. Say,

I'm out. I don't know what the fuck you just said. I'm out, right? I go to the bulgogi tent. Bulgogi tent is like the after hours spot for food. Yeah, bulgogi. I know what that is. It's in the bowl, right? Yeah, bulgogi. Yeah, but go to the bulgogi tent. Bulgogi tent is like the after hours spot for food. Yeah, bulgogi.

I know what that is. It's in a bowl, right? Yeah, bulgogi. Yeah, but they call it bulgogi tent. Oh, okay. You know, bulgogi is a traditional marinated beef dish. It's a beef. Yeah, it's good.

It's beef. It's really good. Everybody knows that. It made its way into American culture. But we went to the authentic place where there's an ajumma there. This is how she was paying her family. You know what I'm saying? What's ajumma mean?

Ajumma is an older woman. So like the mama bear. Yeah, mama bear. Mama bear, hard worker, ajumma. Ajumma is a very respected person in Korean culture because she's an older woman. And she runs shit. She runs shit. Ajumma.

Like ajumma, ajumma. Like you don't disrespect the ajumma. Right. Like them little bitches that worked in the clubs that was selling pussy and shit they'd be cool as shit it's all ajumma all right you gotta like they that's one thing about uh korean culture i respect it is the way they respect elders yeah and it didn't really matter what your position was in life if you were older still gave respect you gave respect you bowed out and all that type of shit well let me ask you this was the ajummas in charge of the other girls selling selling ass did they have anything oh yeah they're pimping them ajumas used to sell

probably too right it's part of the economy i know it sounds fucked up it's just queen pussy once you get over it you you graduate to being an ajumma and you like watch over the other little graduate you get burnt too much you know i'm saying it's like you get you get this old pussy right you know i'm saying like you ain't gonna buy me it's like vegas get this old pussy. You know what I'm saying? Like, you ain't going to buy me. You buy a pussy. It's like Vegas working the pool when they're 24. They're like, you got to go, man. Yeah, get the fuck out of here, man. Old ass bitch.

R. Kelly would never. You know, IG Miles grow into, sometimes they, some of them sold a pussy, some of them didn't. Right. But they was respected. They ran everything. They ran like the brothels. They ran part of clubs. They ran the Bogogie tents at night.

And one night, so the last night I'm there, we always ended our night by going to get some food and shit. So we just drinking. And then I don't even know the origin of it. I don't know how it started, but I got into a fight with the staff sergeant. I only had...

Two stripes. I got in a fight with the staff sergeant. Me and my buddy. Staff sergeant is high up. Not really. E5. For me it was. I only had 2 Stripes. I was new, that was my first duty station. And I get in a fight with this motherfucker. And like when we get to fighting this shit, like kicking the motherfucker. And then I was drunk and my man started kicking him. Oh, you were whooping his ass? Oh, we fucked him up, but we didn't know like, we didn't know what all that meant. But I knew it wasn't going to be sweet.

So I had a little chick that I used to fuck with downtown, and I went to her house. I was like, I can't go to the base right now. I'm hot as a motherfucker. And I'm a police. I'm like, I'm hot. They're not going to know. And I said, I'm going to go in the morning. She was like, Iggy, I thought you stayed side goal.

Because I had said about her the day before. She's like, I thought you stayed side goal, because I had said about her the day before. Right. She's like, I thought you stayed side goal. What happened, Iggy? I'm like, man, I got in a fight. Shit. Got in a fight. So I go back the next day on base in the morning,

and I worked the front gate, because I was a cop. And one of my buddies, he was like, man, I don't know what story you made up about tonight but you better have your shit together yeah i don't know what they say because they're looking for you how can they not find me i'm a black dude in korea is that it's so easy it's so easy to profile me right every korean is like right there right there he's right there right there yeah but they like me the funny thing about it the koreans like me yeah they call me bullshit man bullshit man they because i always crack joe they say why are you all the time bullshit you they used to be like

this you every day and then like they get they were like why your time my time night time daytime everybody time too much bullshit man why that's what they're like why are you all the time but they loved it though they loved it yeah they relish it i was really connected with them like i i used to fuck with him i used to work the front gate and like in korean culture if you say a person's full name like the big first name middle and last name it's kind of condescending talking to a kid it's talking down to say that to a grown man is like saying you're like a bitch? Talking down to him. Wow.

Yeah, it's like I'm superior, I'm older. What are you supposed to say? It's a different tone. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like the guy I used to work with, I remember his name, Kim Chae Sung. Kim Chae Sung. Kim Chae Sung. That's a very Korean name.

Yeah. That's his Bobby Lee name.by lee is a fucking white name yeah bobby lee is a white guy i know yeah i'm bobby lee bobby lee i'm here from from uh from kentucky gonna play some songs yeah so this dude this dude that you knew what was his name kim say it again kim chae sung kim chae sung and he was my dude we always crack jokes at each other and then when the bus we had to come, every bus that came onto the base, we had to check it. Because we had motherfuckers trying to sneak on the base.

Right. Illegally working, all kinds of shit. Right. But this was a base with nuclear weapons, so we can't just have anybody on here doing whatever. So when the bus would come, the way you say bus is coming, bus and dah. Give me some bus and dah.

Bus and dah, check haja. Bus and dah, check haja. da bus and da check haja bus and da check haja bus and da check haja what is that bus coming let's go check it let's we have to go check it out yeah so like if i'm respecting you i wouldn't say your whole name i'd be like what's on da check haja right that's like go do it bitch oh let's go do it together what's your man shit okay but if i say i just say that and that motherfucker used to get furious because the older korean people knew how fucked up it was to do it it's like talk call it's like when your parents says you're like somebody says your middle name, it's disrespectful. Yeah. And they used to laugh like, oh. And then we used to get up and he'd say, Lollies, why?

Why? Why you too much gameplay? Why? Why? He'd say, why you? Kim Jae-sung! Kim Jae-sung! Kim Jae-sung! It's a great name to say, too. Kim Jae-sung! Kim Jae-sung! And he's like, why you? Kim Jae-sung! Kim Jae-sung! And he'd say, Kim Jae-sung!

Like, you talk to me tough Did they ever laugh about it Or no They laughed all the time Like We The thing that they respected About me

Was that I took the time To try to learn That language Right Did most soldiers just not Motherfucker give a fuck Fuck you chicken ass motherfucker

Right right right Nobody give a fuck When you over here for that shit Right Your people Yeah Yeah your people My people my people Yeah your people Fuck that Chinese Fuck, give a fuck. Fuck you, chicken ass motherfucker. Right, right, right. Nobody give a fuck. When you're over here for that shit, right. Your people. Yeah. Yeah, your people.

My people, my people. Yeah, your people. Fuck that Chinese motherfucker. I got an M16 over here. But I really was fascinated with their culture. Yeah. And I was fascinated with learning the language because I wanted to be able to communicate. Because I knew to get bitches down, man. Yeah, you had to speak.

What? If I could freak some Korean, they'd be like, oh. This way you say, how you doing, Dok-Dok-Kae? What's that? Dok-Dok-Kae is I'm smart. He's always smart. This nigga's smart. Right.

Because he knew. You figured it out. Yeah, I get a couple Dok-Dok-Kae's. That's like $10 off the price. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, you got local prices. Man, the hoes, this is so funny. The hoes love for me to make them laugh.

Really? Yo, they used to just crowd around me. It's funny. I'm seeing it now. It be one bitch at the bar, an IJ Ma, and then the two bad bitches, the bad bitches. And they always used to love to fucking hover around me and just pop. Because all the dudes I hung out with, nobody spoke as much as me.

And what was the reasoning for that? Did you just figure you were like, I'm going to figure this out because it's going to be easier for me if I know their language? I understood the attempt to try to speak that language just separates you. Right. You, you get, you get respect. You care. You know what I'm saying? It's like that.

And then I just knew, like, you know, I, I wanted to be able to make them laugh and like, I would learn a couple of sentences, whatever. And they was really like punchlines and shit, you know? Yeah. And I could, and. Was that the first, was that joke? Was that the first like impetus of you becoming a comedian? um no it wasn't until i got out of military but i'm saying this must have been some of the structural work mentally for you to understand how valuable

making people laugh is and that had to have some kind of subconscious effect right yeah but look back at it i was like that's what it was but back then it was just back then it was just that you being you oh yeah i love to have fun right it was i mean i then, it was just that- You being you. Oh, yeah. I loved to have fun. Right. It was you being you. I mean, I loved to have fun. When we had days off, almost all the Americans, they would just go downtown or they'd just

hang around on the base. But I met these friends at the front gates because it was always two Americans and two Korean rock guys, Republic of Korea police, or just Republic of Korea Air Force. You working with these guys for eight hours, 12 hours, and it's like they're on one side and we're on the other side, two over there and two over here. And all day you just letting people come in the gate, so you go inside the gate check and you just start talking to them right then if you really care like some of them didn't want to learn no and you're just like fuck that but then there was some that was like they just wanted we

just trading words oh that's wild you know you learn the cuss words first right isn't that the whole rule you know it's not the rule but that's just for the most part it's the easiest yeah you know and it's like you work in a restaurant you you're going to know cuss words in Spanish. Rob Markman Yeah, and then you get the reaction of it. But then after a while, it's just like, I was really into it. I used to know how to write my name in Korean, and then the Korean guys, whenever our days with some of my friends, when our days would match up, I would travel to their hometown. Rob Markman Oh, really?

Rob Markman Yeah, it's like- Rob Markman Would you stay in their hometown with them? Rob Markman Yeah, it's so funny it was go have dinner with them and shit yeah it was like it was like saying a motherfucker from um san francisco or new york going to and no disrespect to yellow springs for the weekend right you know i'm saying something just to come to the country and that we were talking country like we it was it was so like had sometimes you ever gone there

and they've never seen a black guy before? One hundred thousand every almost every time everywhere I went you were the black guy the first and the last

they've ever seen. Yep. Right. I think like I don't even know where I went. I know I trusted those guys

because we worked together but I know we caught like trains trains buses to get to a place and then it's like motherfuckers are like like because we worked together, but I know we caught trains, trains, buses to get to a place. And then it's like, motherfuckers are like- Rob Markman, Jr.: Just stare you down.

Rob Markman, Jr.: Everywhere I went. But it was almost like I was Muhammad Ali or something over there. I was instantly American or African. And I'm pretty sure they didn't think of no Africans on there. So it was American. They probably, I know they looked at me and say, where did this nigga come from? Where did they grow these motherfuckers?

The base. You know what I'm saying? None of them close to the base. And everywhere, every time I would do something with my friends, it was like a competition. It was like the Olympics. What do you mean? Like when you, like they had this little, like, like amusement park area, like a competition. It was like the Olympics. What do you mean?

They had this little amusement park area, like a little place. You know how all these places, like Boardwalk area? And everybody has that, the fist game. Oh, the punch machine thing or whatever? Yeah, the punch machine. I went up to that. A crowd gathered around. There was bet money on the side. Because it was a black dude doing a punching machine?

And from America. It was like USA. I'm like USA on everything, right? I even learned how to play some of the Korean board games. I learned shit with Korean letters. Like their version of Monopoly and shit?

Yeah. They had different games like Domino's and stuff like that. I learned that shit. And then everywhere I went, it was a competition. Everywhere I went, it was like, betting money on you. like betting money on you and i was hustling too not hustling but i would come with like a case of a beer like american beer and i don't my preference i like korean beer but i would go with a case of beer and then i start trade motherfuckers did they like american beer they liked anything american right so like budweiser budweiser i was getting six i feel like i'm in jail right now but why

i was getting six motherfucking uh korean beers off of one but weiser really yo i was they was like thank you like me no muffles like never tried american beer they want to do everything american they they don't understand the value the values that we put on it so much different Me and Muff was like, never tried American beer. They want to do everything American. They don't understand the value. The values that we put on it so much different than theirs because they've just never had it. So to them, it's like the greatest shit on earth. Back then, they hadn't really seen that.

But it's an experience. Right. Because it's an American thing. It's an experience. It was an experience outside the culture. And then it was just, damn, now I look at it like, I wonder if I've made it in this world enough where kim chae sung like saw me or something yeah and like was like

oh yo i always think about this drew if he was like you think he's alive is kim jae sung alive you hope he might not i'm alive. We the same age. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, but you never know. You never know what happened to Kim Jae. He could go either. Kim Jae Sung, he could be gone. He's seen you.

He's had to seen you in something. Yo, I'm telling you, man. Kim Jae Sung. Shout out to Kim. Kim Jae Sung. Kim Jae Sung. Speak to him. Kim Jae Sung.

Salam Hamnida. Kim Jae Sung. Basan Da. speak to him somewhere around the world he's like no no no if he's seeing that he said I'll check the bus with you

yeah I told that mother check the bus with you when you when you got out when you got out did you go back to you're from DC did you go right back Oh, yeah. Yeah, I told that motherfucker, bus or not. I'll check the bus with you. When you got out, did you go back to, you're from D.C., did you go right back to D.C.? Let me go back, because I usually forget what I'm saying. Oh, okay, go, go, go. We was talking about your blatant disregard.

Oh, yeah, the blatant disregard for military. I go to the, I go to the tent. I get in the fight. Sneak back on base. They know it. I'm supposed to fucking leave. I'm supposed to be on a Freedom Bird the next fucking morning. Damn.

I'm gone. Cut to, I had to stay another fucking 30 days. And it was so funny, because the first time I'd been around for my family in Alexandria, Virginia, and all my friends, they planned this big Donnell coming home party. It was a block party. Damn. It was Like the whole, it was a block party. It was a block party. It was a block party. And I never came home.

Oh, shit. Yo. And they was like, what happened? And nobody, I couldn't communicate. Could you not, you couldn't call them? This is no cell phone days, no email days. Finally, I think my mother finally called because she was like, this don't seem right. My mother called the military.

The mother. I was like, hello, government. I don't know what she said, but they said, Donnie, your mother on the phone. Mother on the phone? This is a top secret base. How the fuck y'all let my mother through? Your mom got through. Your mom's always get through.

And I said, ma, almost, God damn. I said, ma, I'm not coming home. I don't know when I'm coming home. I got into a fight. Me and my friend, we fucked this dude up. It was, I got in a fight with this dude. And I explained to her, she was like, okay. And she had to go back and tell a block of people

he's not coming home. Right? So now, I don't know what they're going to do to me because the next base i'm going to this is where the ap the lors and the uh the lors in the article 15s come in when you get another place that you go to you go to a place on the condition of your record certain bases you have to have a quick squeaky clean record right The base I was going to, it was Bowling Air Force Base. The DIA, Defense Intelligence Agency, is right over there.

You got to be a motherfucker that really much didn't get in no trouble. You got to be clean as a whistle. Clean as a whistle. And where is this, by the way? What city is that in? In Washington, D.C. Okay, that's back in D.C. Yeah, Bowling Air Force Base.

And I hadn't had no LORs and shit. And this is where I heard that phrase. Last time I heard that phrase. And they said, I had to figure out. I was like, man LORs and shit. And this is where I heard that phrase. Last time I heard that phrase. And they said, I had to figure out. I was like, man, these motherfuckers know. They was like, yo, the dude got cracked ribs and shit. Y'all really fucked him up. You know, that's what they're saying.

And they was like, just get your shit together. So all day, I'm trying to think of how am I going to say I fucked this motherfucker up in a way where they just don't give me the book. Just don't take him straight from the... Rob Markman How do you weasel your way out of this so you're not like, yeah, I fucking knocked his teeth in his throat. Yeah. I'm trying to figure out how do I say that?

I try to kill that nigga. So I gave it some time right you gave me some time right this is what i came up with and i was proud of myself yeah fucking said airman rawlins your blatant disregard for his talents military policy shows a lack of military burn what do you have to say for yourself airman i said sir you gotta do sir first dope yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah i can't go right into it what he said yeah yeah simon says to teach you that right sir sir sir i was like sir it was a verbal confrontation which ended in a light affray of punches wow bro that's perfect that mother looked at me like... Respect, sir. Respect. Right?

I did 30 days, and then I went to Bowling Air Force Base. Then when I got to Bowling Air Force Base, I finally got to Bowling Air Force Base. They didn't want me there. Why? They was like, you got those motherfucking nasty notes. They like this. They wait to... They know kid.

Yeah, they got the notes. They like, ah. And I'll never forget this guy, Sergeant Washington. He was my first shirt. He's still alive. If he's watching this, his son probably is, or his daughter is like, I really respect what your dad did for me, because he was always cool with me. Rob Markman Yeah.

And he got me through that. I did the rest of my enlistment, and then I got out. He was one of those guys, like I had this situation as a kid. Teachers either loved me or they fucking hated me so much. But even if they hated you, they probably hated you because they couldn't control you. Right, they hated you because you were more free than them. Yeah. Right.

But that was like, Washington for you was like a dude who just, he understood you. He understood. Yeah. Another guy was like that, Mr. D like a dude who just, he understood you. He understood it. Yeah. Another guy was like that, Mr. Daly, my shop teacher. Loved you. Yeah, he was a straight redneck motherfucker. And this is back when shop in high school

was shop. Shop was shop. Where you made this. You motherfucker. Yeah, where you had a nail and glue shit. Yo, son. This is shop. That's shop like a motherfucker.

That's shop. That's a rotor. I mean, you know what I'm saying? Yeah, you had a rotor to the edges. Yeah's a rotor. I mean, I'm saying. Yeah, you had a rotor to the edges. Yeah. I know about. Yo, this looks like something Mr. Daly would make. That shop like a motherfucker.

But you don't. But they don't. But they don't. That got eradicated so long ago. No one does that shit anymore. But this is real shop when you had to make real shit. Man, you made real shit. In fact, we had.

When I was growing up, it was like they pushed vocational skills because those were the jobs. They were out there. They should push them now still. They're not out there as much, though. We're still going to need them, man. When computers kill us all, we're still going to need them.

I'm not going to have this argument with you because we're never going to be without a computer. Yeah, I know, but we still need these things because someone's got to run the computer. I'm not going to argue with you. No, I'm just telling you, like, I'm sorry to tell you this, Drew. Vocational education is fucking dead. It's dead.

The only way you're going to get that training. Now, I'm not saying it's not a need for that job. But the only way in the future, the only way you're going to get it, if it's handed down through the family or somebody future the only way you're going to get it if it's hand down through the family or somebody teaches that yeah they're not going to have programs yeah mom and dad dedicated right to motherfucking autobody home ec is not going to be around ever it's not going to be around yeah it's never going to be around but what's going to be around is motherfuckers going to be uh building their own apps, designing their own shit.

Like kids nowadays, they say we're going to go to college. No, I'm just going to get a startup. It's working, by the way. It works. Yeah. The only reason, in the future, the only reason kids are going to go to college is to fuck and for social skills. That's why I went to college.

Yeah, that's how most people went. That's the only reason I went. Yeah. How many motherfuckers do you know that have a college degree that are in the field of where they got a degree from? Only lawyers.

Yeah. That's the only people I know. Everybody else I know dead. They just did whatever the fuck they did and they got out and they did it. And most of them motherfuckers want to be us. No shit.

I know two lawyers that were comedy writers for a long time. Yeah, because they're smart enough, they're quick enough they're good at at forming these opinions and stories that the same things that comedians it's a similar parallel thinking but the difference is they uh they wanted more security there's certain people oh yeah for more security no and you know that is so true you know i'm'm saying? Some people don't have, and it doesn't make them less of what we do or anything. Some people just don't have it in them

to just keep trying. Well, look, it's throwing caution to the wind. Doing stand-up for a living. And that's what I want to know, by the way. I want to know when you got back to the East Coast. From where? From Korea? Korea.

Did you start standing up? How old were you when you started? When I started standing up, I was like 22. 22. 23, maybe. 23. In D.C.? Yeah.

When did you go to New York? I went to Nework after starting comedy um i moved to new york seven months after i started the first open mic holy shit you were like fuck it i'm out i gotta go i was too good yeah better you're better than your peers i won't say that but um i was break away i was different i won't say better because there was a lot of talented people that came through the same time but I was on fire. Did you meet Dave in D.C. or did you meet him in New York? I met him in New York.

He's a D.C. guy too. He's a D.C. guy. She shared this story at my birthday party. He did a toast to me and Chris said when did you first meet Donnell? And Dave said I'll tell you what. I met Donnell. I met Donnell. I met Donnell where we all meet, at a fucking comedy club.

He said, I was the guy. I had my shit popping. I moved to New York. And whenever I would come home, I always would ask, who's hot? And he said, I would always hear the same usual suspects. Blah, blah, blah. Blah, blah, blah. Blah, blah, blah.

Blah, blah, blah. But then there's one guy named Donnell Rollins. And Dave said, he said, man, fuck that nigga. In here, we pour whiskey. Whiskey ginger fans, I know you like to enjoy alcohol just like the old Red Rocket does. But you hate the hangover, especially if you get a little bit older. Hangovers tend to be this rumored thing that comes from dehydration. You should be drinking water, but that's not really it.

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The bears. Ginger. I like gingers. Right., right? To bears. Ginger. I like gingers. Right, but that's just- Because you were always mentioned. Yeah, I was always mentioned. So for him, it was like- But not only,

I was always being mentioned when he was popping. Right. He was 17, or maybe even younger, Robin Hood, Men in Tights. From where we came from, little-ass D.C.,

little-ass comedy circuit, not a major entertainment town, anybody that fucking moved two hours away made it. Yo, it's like, yo, that nigga moved to Delaware. We knew you was going to do it, bro. And he made it on a different level, not just because there wasn't a lot of black platforms then. Def Jam, when Dave was popping,

Def Jam wasn't even out yet. And for him to come in, not only that, but Dave came up on a... He didn't come heavy in the black circuit, but he was instantly into mainstream. Right. Why do you think it is? Because for one, he thinks different.

Yeah. He don't go for... If you think about his style now, he don't talk about shit everybody else is talking about. And if he does, it's a flip to it. It's a flip to it. But he came through the Garvins, through the improv, where all the top white comics and the big, he had those stages.

So where he was learning from was already from that place. Did you, like, there's always been a big separation of, like, there are people in the comics in the black market that are dominatory, that are massively large, but people in the white world don't know them. Right? That's how Cat Williams was. Yeah, but, I mean, even still today, there's guys that are fucking huge. Right. that's how cat williams was yeah but i mean even still today there's guys that are fucking huge right that no white comedy fan a lot of white comedy fans might know but there's some that

would would be like i've never heard of that guy and they love comedy you know what i mean and see that's what with me and i'm pretty sure that's what dave and a lot of black comics deal with that and then you can get to a point where you can make a good living off of it but at the same time and not that you need validation by anybody, by any race. Right. It's never like I want white people to think I'm funny. My thing for wanting to do mainstream, because I was like this, I want everybody to think I'm funny. Yeah, you want a big audience.

You know what I'm saying? I want a bigger audience. But a lot of people don't make that transition. They get comfortable with, a lot of black comedians, they get comfortable with making a certain amount of money. And I'm not knocking anything. Right. is to get comfortable with making a certain amount of money and I'm not knocking anything. It's only a handful that can make a strong living just all off black community. Rob Markman Just black shows. Just doing black shows. But like, did you consciously make sure you did not just black shows? Was that like a thing you

were like, no, I'm not going to only do black shows because you can. Lil Jon No, yeah, I did. I did. Because that's one of the reasons why I left DC. Like, I feel like I did because that's one of the reasons why I left DC. Like, I feel like I get at the top of the level that was there. All right. You know what I'm saying? I was like, I was ripping all the cabarets, the bar shows. You know, I was on everybody's flyer.

I was a young gun coming up. And it just wasn't challenging anymore. You know what I'm saying? It was just like, there's got to be something else. I know it's always something else. Yeah. And I wanted to go. And it was a tough transition because something else. I know it's always something else. And I wanted to go and it was a tough transition because the only thing I knew was the Black Comedy Club.

Then I was like, because I wasn't really hanging with Dave and those guys. Dave knew of me. I'm from DC, he knew of me, but we wasn't hanging out like that. And then I was trying to get into mainstream rooms and then I would get opportunities. I remember Boston Comedy Club, we called them straight up white rooms. That was the first white room. Just a white room. Man, for a while,

they used to look at me like, oh, that nigga doing the white rooms. They used to look at you like, you changed. Yeah, would you get, would you get a new floor? Yeah. Yeah, you get, hey,

yo, I'm telling you, son. If, like, I know this is so wrong and shit, but motherfucking, they used to look at me like this. Oh. Like, look who came back home. Well, well, well.

Well, well, well, well. It was this house nigga right there. How was it inside, Donnell? Out there making them white folks laugh, huh? white folks laugh but it was they it was all it was like it was a it felt good knowing that uh i could rock anybody it didn't and then i don't got to change my shit up and a lot of motherfuckers in the black circuit they're intimidated by it they're intimidated but it is intimidating if you if you only really write for one audience right well it's intimidating this is the most intimidating thing for a person uh made the transition

from a black black audience to a white audience the amount of laughter what do you mean by that it's about the volume right the intensity of it's half half of the. In a white room. In a white room. Right. It's totally different. You mean black rooms just have, they emote so much more when they- We beat the shit out of each other? Yeah. Yo.

But white rooms, it's just like, ha, ha, ha, ha. It's ha, ha, but you know what? But you can have, and what I do, I take that energy of that room. Yeah. And I make them feel, almost turn it into the energy of that room and I make them feel almost turning into the energy of a black room. Right. Some people don't take the time to figure out how to do it.

I used to be bumping heads with myself. When I first was going to make the transition, I would go up and I would always say, black, everything, black, black, black. Right? I was black. Oh, y'all black. I'm black. Y'all white black and then tony woods told me one time he said um donnell you don't have to tell him you're black he said they know he said when they hear your name yeah they know he said you

don't have to go up to be black he said go up there and be funny be funny And I used to watch him like, how the fuck does this make these white people laugh? But that's how any good comic, I think. And it's funny to talk like this. But I ain't had no chops. Bro, I ain't had no chops. I'm saying I'm learning this. But you earned it. But you know what?

I'm learning that real quick. Yeah. And then the minute I separate like, oh shit, this white people looking at the black guy, it started working. Yeah, but also times have changed in the sense, this white people looking at the black guy, it started working. Yeah, but also times have changed in the sense that like when we go to the store together, when we're at the store together, it's not just a white place. It's as mixed of a place as you could get in a corporate club city setting from LA. But it's back in such a way that it could go back to justifying the world famous comedy store.

Rob Markman Yeah. Rob Markman Because when I first moved here, it felt weird. Rob Markman What year would you move to LA? Rob Markman I was here like nine years ago. Rob Markman Okay. Rob Markman And I know they had a manager change or whatever. Rob Markman Yeah. Rob Markman And I didn't really know the history of it.

I'm not shitting on anybody. Rob Markman Yeah. Rob Markman But really know the history of it. I'm not shitting on anybody. Yeah. But I do remember a time I was like, because you know, any comment from anywhere, I'm coming from New York, I'm like, it's a comedy store. I'm like, comedy store? Hello? There was nobody there. Hello?

Dude, I moved here 14 years ago. It was dead. Look, Donnell, you want to go on upstairs? Hello? Right. I remember that. I was like, and then I'm looking at the motherfuckers' names on the marquee.

I'm like, that nigga up there? I'm like, I know I can get up there. You know, I'm like this. I was like, it makes no sense.

But now it's fixed. I mean, hopefully when we get out of this shit, yeah, it popped again. It just, and what I say is like, when you there,

it feels like, it really feels like the world famous comedy store. The energy of those rooms. Now, would you say at the comedy store, when you rip at the comedy store, that's like any other black room or any good room in general? For me now, I'm numb to it now. Like, because I have to set and I flow in a way that I can make, I feel like I can make almost any room electric that's good though that's where you want to be

that's what I'm saying then you make a transition because it used to be there used to be a more definitive line of like a lot of it's a black room and a few white comics

would do it and it's an all white room and a few black comics would do it and then now I feel like it's so much more blended than it ever was but a lot of motherfuckers

man you know what man motherfuckers that's why I fuck with like Jason Collins and shit I respect him on a level of motherfuckers, man, you wait, man, motherfuckers, that's why I fuck with Jason Collins and shit. Rob Markman, Jr.: Yeah? Rob Markman, Jr.: I respect him on a level of like, yo, I see this motherfucker and he's Jason Collins everywhere he goes.

Rob Markman, Jr.: Yeah, it's the same. Rob Markman, Jr.: You know what I mean? It's the same. I'm like, that's a different level. I don't know if, I hate saying underrated or people get their due, but me as a comedian, I would like to say, I notice it and acknowledge it. Rob Markman, Jr.: Yeah. Rob Markman, Jr.: I know the trenches he go in, he don't to say, like, I notice it and acknowledge it. You know what I'm saying? I know the trenches he go in.

He don't have to, other than saying, the same way when I left D.C., I want to show that I can do it. Yeah. And it's like, I can rock with anything. And I don't care. I can rock as a motherfucking middle-aged white dude with a gray fucking beard talking about my grown-ass kids. I don't want none of y'all bitches. Son, I ain't even give a fuck about you bitches enough to dye my beard, bitch.

I'm just here off of jokes. You know what I'm saying? I respect motherfuckers. That's when you transcend though, right? When you get to a place when you could just make, it doesn't matter the audience anymore, which is hard.

You have to learn to get to that point as a fucking comedian, you know? Do you get, I want to ask this because I thought of you when I was on the road. Last time i was on the road i was uh i came through vegas and um there was a shirt in a in a like a gift shop or some bullshit and it said i'm rich bitch and i was like oh man you don't see a dime for it's like it's so funny that people can just print your words

but the thing about it you'll never give me a dime, I would have to get nine cents today because those was his words. Sure, but I'll take one cent from that. One cent from every one of those. It's just funny that I think about that all the time. It's like, you popularized the thing so much, so globally. If I had the RZA Wu-Tang sensibility, if I had the Joe Rogan sensibility to look at something and say, as much as I like this, how do I make money off of it?

You know what I'm saying? You'd have made a billion dollars off that fucking show. Yeah, but it wouldn't have been mine. It would have been like- You had to give $999 million to Dave. It was his show. It was his show. And even, in fact, that phrase was a part of a joke he had years ago.

That he gave to you to say on the show? He gave it to me and then they put it in there. Yeah. It was part of a skit. It was a joint called Trick Whitey, if I'm not mistaken. That was his first special. Rob Markman, Jr.: It sounds right. Rob Markman, Jr.: And part of the joke was, motherfucker was looking a certain way, and

then it wasn't that person. He take a mask off, and it's somebody else. He's like, I'm rich, bitch. You know what I'm saying? That's where it came. But I nailed it and it was such a anytime you put anything

at the end of every show it'll be ingrained in your brain forever I mean it's it's synonymous with that show 100% did Dave ever give you shit for that then that like he said

like when they because it became such a popularized phrase that got associated with you and your face and your image with the show did Dave Dave ever goof with you like, that's my shit, but you know? No, he didn't, but he knew it. I mean, he knew it was his shit, but he knew that I owned it in terms of it. The funny thing about that phrase, that was probably one of the most iconic phrases in the history of sketch comedy. It's not me being cocky.

It's the reality. No, no, it's a fucking fact. Yo, it's a 100% fact. It's a fact. Anyone who hears that knows, anyone who's a comedy fan knows that phrase and knows exactly where it's from and what it's synonymous with.

And the thing about it was, that was the phrase that almost didn't happen. Because when we were doing that sketch, me and the truck, right? We were doing a sketch. And first off, we didn't have money to block off a street. Like Disney or somebody come through, like 125th Street, they just made it 3rd Avenue. And get the fuck out of here.

You know what I'm saying? You know the big money joints? Yeah, yeah. Like them big money, them blockbuster joints. They shut down fucking five city blocks. Five city blocks. And you think as niggas hanging around

those are all extras. Right. They all like yo you too far away to act like you're acting. You know what I mean? One of them joints. In a window and shit.

You're not on camera. Yeah. And it's like this and action. It's a motherfucker on the 55th floor like going hard. Acting off camera hard.

Making tea and shit. Yeah. Then you're like oh that's real. Then you're like oh these motherfuckers keep doing it. Yeah. And then when they go cut, they're like, hey, Tom, you know when I work on this project?

It's like, yeah, you know the extras be talking like, oh, this shit they about to get. Yeah, I play it. They're like, you know, I'm probably going to be in Batman this year. Yeah, I play cop too. Yeah, yeah. Right. Cop too. So we didn't have that situation.

It was running good. It was just like. You guys blocked off everything. You would do it yourself. The crew was small, right? It was just like- You guys blocked off every, you would do it yourself. The crew was small, right? It was like- They didn't block, yo, bruh. This is what I'm trying to tell you.

Just the iconic scene with Unriched Bitch. First off, I had to drive a truck, right? You never driven a truck. No, I drove a truck. Nigga, I didn't have a license. Because you were like, you didn't have a license in New York? Yeah.

Niggas don't be spending money. Yo, we or die new york everybody i knew in new york didn't have a license yeah you asked you tell the motherfucker i ain't got a license all right i'm still going like we just didn't fuck with licenses like and we thought the motherfuckers they had license was pretty boys they was usually white dude yeah we all jason on doors in new york he was our white boy with the license it was shiny and shit it was like oh yeah yeah like yo i just got it i just got it redone and everything we didn't have license so i'm like this man i hope these niggas don't ask me about a license because i don't want them to recast the shit yeah we'll get someone that has one get that anders in here this is what this is what they did you nobody said let me see your license they said you got a license right i said yeah yeah

right yeah of course yeah i got a license i was like and i'm like there's all these big still nobody asked to see it i was waiting like cut cut right but also no it probably wouldn't have been a big deal no no but they wouldn't give it a fuck. We didn't fuck. But first off, I had to get in this truck. I'm all nervous about not having my license. And then the light that I'm about to go to, it's not like we stopped it or changed the bulbs. It's hot. Oh, so this is regular traffic is going. Yeah.

It's like the right light. Depending on how fast you drive, it can be green or red. It's like, nigga, get in there, man. Let's go. Yo, back to one. So I'm already stressed out, right, son? So I got to drive this big ass goddamn truck. I ain't got no fucking license.

And the little bitch is sitting on an Apple box because she's short. So they got to get the eye line right. It's not like it looked like she walked up to me. She's standing there. So I got to get the eye line right it's not like it looked like she walked up to she's standing here so i gotta drive the truck down the street and i gotta hit a mark yeah with a fucking big ass truck with a big i gotta you get it yeah i gotta hit a mark yo here's your mark i can't see the mark yeah i'm like this but my mark is gonna be not to run this bitch over right yeah i was like so i gotta was like, so I got to hit a mark. I got to hit a mark, turn the key off.

I got to stop the engine because it's diesel. Right, it's loud as fuck. Yeah. So I got to stop hitting my, turn this shit off. I got to look down at this bitch. And I got to look at the light if they're going to be beeping. And I got to deliver my line. And I wasn't no experienced actor and I was like this. That's when you get this.

I'm like this. I was like, I kept fucking up, bro. You fucked up the line every time? We probably like six takes. In New York traffic, you just had to keep looping around? No, they had to keep bringing this shit back, right?

They had to go back, go back, right? And they had to, yo, go back, go back, right? They get mad, son. So I'm like, fuck, man. And I'm like this, I'm like, man, you can't be letting motherfuckers take your roles, nigga. Any words you say on this show is huge. You better get it right. And I couldn't get it right.

I could not get it right. I was like, I was like this. I'm like this. I'm rich, bitch. and it just wasn't resonating right right didn't hit finally asshole neil brin neil asshole yeah see i got that's his middle name yeah i know neil is an asshole yeah it's cool guy but he's 100 yeah i love him he's an ass he need three mics yeah yo i'm telling you bro i don't know how many niggas can justify three mics. I look at Neil and be like, yep, you're going to need more than one mic.

You're going to need more than one mic. So, Neil asshole face, a young Neil asshole face come to me, yo, B. Right? He was like, yo, we ain't going to be able to do this all day, B. I mean, you got to get it or you might get cut out. Right? Because these was just little dropping pieces.

That could have been in or out of it. Rob Markman Right. Time dependent. That's stuff that gets sliced all the time. B.J. If you look at Reparations Sketch, it was just like a punchline, a punchline, a punchline. They could like, we take that punchline out. Then I was so frustrated.

The bitch pulled up. When I pulled up this time, I was so frustrated. The bitch pulled up. When I pulled up this time, I was so frustrated. I was like, they trying to. I said, I'm rich, bitch! Out of frustration. And it was like, boom, that was it. Just because you could. But that's what great shit comes out of stuff like that.

I hit the side of that truck. And I didn't, I swear, I did not know what I was doing. I was doing out of frustration like, this nigga about to cut this off the scene. I was like, I can't afford, because I didn't work on the show a lot. I was like, I can't afford to get nothing cut. And it's just, as an actor, excuse me, it's just fucked up to know your shit got cut.

Then as you get older in the business, you understand, it's not personal. Your shit can get cut for different reasons. Yeah, it's not. It has nothing get cut for different reasons yeah it's not it has nothing to do with anything I know people that just did

they brought Curb back I did an episode of Curb and the whole time I'm like man what if they cut that shit out and they did it which was great but I had a couple of friends

that did it and their whole shit got cut and to be on Curb with Larry David was like oh shit you know and it got cut but my saving grace

I think part of it was the storyline if the storyline is important for the episode and then when JB showed up he was fucking around with me and JB was like let me come in

let me come in with Santino and we'll fuck around and I knew that then when Larry had him in he wasn't gonna slice JB out so did they really cause I know they promoted that and that's the backstory

do they really cause that's the kind of energy we had on Superstar Show did they really let motherfuckers just play with it like was larry really like 100 was he like get there yeah when we when we did that when i auditioned with him uh that's so you know what they give you like five five notes about the character you know they would be like okay donnell you have to do you have to be a truck driver uh you know your wife is dead and you hate your all three of your kids uh you're from new jersey go and then you'd have to make up a whole fucking scenario bro let me tell you something man that is so simple and genius yeah that is and it's such a hard thing to expect for somebody

that's larry David's writing ability. You don't get motherfuckers... Usually the writers, a lot of times they don't respect the writing mindset of a good actor. Rob Markman, Right. They want to write the words. Rob Markman, And I know that had to come from years and years of working with this crew. Years and years working with the crew.

We put certain things on there for a blueprint, but if they get into it and we let them fuck around, they're going to create the best shit. I mean, that's why he hires good people. I think that was the trick. That's the trick. You hire the best people and then you know who to trust. I was lucky. He liked my shit that I brought to it.

And then when we did it on the day, here's what he does that's a great trick. I will say this. To say that they beat out the episode, to say that they don't really write it, it does it an injustice because truthfully dude he's so good at giving you um yeah he writes it but he guides you to it he guides you right into it that's what i'm saying yeah he almost it's almost jedi shit if you i guarantee you probably the only probably the only criticism he probably ever give an actor is when you go outside the storyline

if you try to recreate your own story it brings you back he'll bring you back like yeah that's a little far-fetched but he's so smart he did it multiple times like we the way he was able to do it was just so like simple shit where he would say um uh part of the bit we were gonna run was i was making these toilets and i was doing these japanese toilets thing and and i had said uh i said oh it can detect a penis and he goes oh like it had a door on it now and i and i made up this audible i go it'll go beep beep beep penis detected and then jb goes it's gonna is it gonna detect based on size of penis and i knew that larry after he said that wanted wanted him to go back to what we were trying to do yeah yeah. Yeah, and he did it so quick and clever,

it's almost like it didn't happen. Yeah. It's like he's just, he knows where he already is, and he'll figure out a way to fix the problem. It's like the greatest problem fixer. You know who was like that, and I probably think it was,

and I've had, this is part of my story, is what I felt that was, Sam Raimi. Yeah. Spider-Man 2, so years ago. That's probably the biggest movie I've been in. It's a big fucking movie.

It's a big deal, right? And when I got that, I came to him like, oh shit. Because I found out I was going to do that the morning of. Because Stan Lee was supposed to do a reaction shot. The day that you shot it they called you that morning holy shit that never fucking happens well it happened when stan lee was supposed to do that shot was reaction shot like in movies like that they have auditions specifically for reaction totally joey diaz did it it's like this oh yeah you audition what you doing they do like

this oh uh spider-man comes down riding a horse. Spider-Man's in the elevator. They want to know how you react to it. Just give it a look. So on tape, they have you reacting to certain shit. So Stan Lee was supposed to be this reaction scene. He got ill or something happened. He couldn't do it.

They called casting that morning. And it was like, my manager called me and told me Donnell uh Spider-Man called Donnell I have Spider-Man on the phone yeah Spider-Man called he wants you to work there I was like get the fuck out of here and this is after I had just got passed on a something for BET

the day before like you got a no from them I got a no from this thing I was on BET. Friday, I was supposed to shoot Saturday. I got a pass on them Friday night after I had already did a wardrobe and everything. You know how that makes a motherfucker? I knew the director wanted me. I've been there, bro.

Producers didn't. I knew they was fighting all the way, but I was like, I got wardrobe. The fight has to be over. I won. I'm in the clothes. I'm in the clothes. What about wardrobe? Right? And BET, Black Entertainment Television, right? Them niggas piss me off so many times.

That's the real shit. So I'm like, I'm so fucked up. I'm like, I am about to sell out. Yo, I'm going country music you'll be on cmt yeah i need more white clubs i don't fuck with them ladies and gentlemen donnell roams hey y'all fuck bt i'm going on tour who do you the blowfish right i was shitting on bt and the next morning i get a call that um spider- won a last-minute joint.

Right? And I'm like, oh, shit. I'm like, they was like, when I had to go. And like, I'm going to tell you, bro. This was so last-minute. The outfit I wore to set was my clothes. You wore all your own shit? Carhartt outfit, straight Brooklyn.

Carhartt outfit, straight Brooklyn. By the way, another thing that people don't know that doesn't happen that don't happen no matter what they're like we'll have our clothes we'll have our clothes for you don't we don't want your clothes yeah i've got the carhartt outfit if i went to work and went home with the same clothes but this was funny sir sir. Because so Sam Raimi, Sam Raimi, funny as shit. He said, hey, Donnell, the best, my favorite actor in New York City. Everybody was like, yeah, he said. And the only actor

I know in New York City. Like, that ain't his home. He a L.A. motherfucker. He's like, you lucky, motherfucker. I had to call somebody to get you, nigga. So Sam Raimi walks

and behind Sam Raimi is a assistant. And then ramey's assistant has assisted like it's like you know that's layers like it's like i ain't never seen so many motherfuckers with clipboards in my life and this one motherfucker's controlling four blocks in manhattan right yeah and he like 200 million200 million. Yeah. And he pulls out a fucking stick. A stick had a green X on a stick, right? Right. I'm thinking like, man, Spider-Man, what?

He said, Donnell, this is Spider-Man. Yeah. You know, he's like, this is your eyeline, nigga. He said, this is Spider-man yeah you know he's like this is your eyeline nigga he said he said this is spider i'm like that though that little x to me bro it's like no this now right now this is spider-man he's like this is spider-man i'm like okay he's like spider-man uh peter parker's uh he works in a pizza shop he's late for work every day his boss is going to fire him if he's late again he's going down the street on his bike spider-man gets off the bike and he goes in the building he's like he's going around the building like this is like we who i don't know that right

he knows we he's like this he's like this he goes around the building. This is like, wee-hoo. I don't know that, right? He knows wee-hoo. He's like this. He's like this. He goes around the building. He comes out. And this is why 30 motherfuckers are looking at me, right? He said, what are you going to say? I said, whoa.

I started doing the bouncing. I started. I was like, he stole that guy's pizza. Was that it? That was it. Yeah. He said, I love it. Right? And I was like.

Great. Yo, I'm like, you got to understand. This is what people understand. Like doing a movie like that. Yeah. I don't know if you ever went past a set like a Will Smith set or anything like that. One of them when they take the streets and shit. It's so dope because you see, like, I'm the actor, right? So the minute they say action, everybody works for me.

Yeah. Like, and people can say, oh, that little role or whatever. In that moment, everybody on that motherfucking set in Video Village, everybody was, it was on me. I was the star for five seconds, bro. Yeah. You know what I mean? Isn't that wild? That that many people are like, you're the one thing for the moment.

Can you imagine, man? And then it's like these millions of little moments. But then you look at the star of the movie. And I felt like, in that moment, I was the star of the movie. Yeah. And it felt like, I was like, man, this shit's cool shit. And the dopest thing about it was, and I always tell people, we can get upset about certain shit. But if you keep a positive, because I was really mad at BET.

Are you still mad at BET? No, not anymore. I got other reasons to be mad at BET. Are you still mad at BET? No, not anymore. I've got other reasons to be mad at BET. You want to talk about it? No, I'm just saying, I love BET. BET is a great platform. BET has been there for black people for years. Did they give you your first spot on TV as a comic?

No, the first comic spot I ever did was Deaf Comedy Jam. And that BET was a little later after that. Yeah. And I have had a great relationship with BET, and they're fans of mine. Right. But, you know, after a while, I'm like, just, God damn, when can we make some money together? Yeah.

You know what I mean? It's like... I feel like that's how a lot of people feel in a lot of industries where you're like, how come this big dog has all of this money, right? And how come I'm getting none of it? But only that but i'm just like this i really like pride myself with my work ethics i pride myself in my content yeah of all the things i've done on television nobody's really ever seen me be whack or bomb yeah it's a hard place to be because tv is easy to be whack on that's what i'm saying ask saying. Ask any comic. Almost all of us have done bad TV. I've been lucky enough

because I'm not trained that, you know, the things that I've got, I've always tried to make an impact. But also because I think you've worked on stuff on TV where they're not,

they want you to be you. They want you to do what you do well. You know, like, it's always difficult when they ask you to do something that's so outside of yourself. Even if you're a good actor that you know like it's it's always difficult when they ask you to do something that's so outside of yourself even if you're a good actor that you're like i don't even know if i want to do it like that you don't know if they want to get to hollywood

yeah it's almost like i don't even know if that's what i would be good at you know like i did uh you know tone bell you know him do you know tone bell yeah tone had a sitcom and i went and did a little little guest thing on it and i and it just wasn't i was like this is not working man like they knew it i knew it i just don't do multicam well it's not a thing but this is what the thing though drew and the reason why you didn't have to take it that serious or it was like whatever because you're successful in other areas yeah no it was nice that i that it wasn't that there wasn't that thing you know i mean like yeah look yeah i was lucky shop shop class yeah shop shop class yo podcast motherfuckers they built different podcast niggas don't be giving a fuck about audition none of that shit

it's a different world man it's a different world but it's like it's it's a very empowering place to be in a place to be you're taking back a part of your career too because you've got you've got a very successful podcast and you're hot off the start. You're four months in? Five months in? When did I ruin RZA's podcast? When did I ruin Joe Rogan's podcast? Last time I checked, it was in November. So I ruined the podcast. God damn.

What do you mean you ruined the podcast? Okay. There's a classic podcast. I don't want to talk about it on every platform. But Joe Rogan did a podcast. I ruined his podcast. And then later that afternoon, the RZA from Wu-Tang was going to be on the podcast. Yeah.

And I already did three hours. I'm not being greedy. I want to leave. Joe Rogan says, hey, Donnell, you want to stay? RZA's coming in. And I hadn't seen my son in a while. And I had the red eye. I was like, as much as I love fucking Wu-Tang, I love my son better.

Fuck Wu-Tang. I'm going home to see my son. Yeah. Right? So I made my mind up. Then I'm leaving. Then Joe's like,

you sure? And I was like, I feel like I was letting him down, right? Joe does that, by the way. Yeah, I know. He's like, all right. You're like, oh, shit.

I know, it's like, yo, so I'm not the only person who's done that to him. No, man. Yo, but he looked at me like, you know, there could be a deal involved. You know what I mean?

You're leaving a lot of money on the table. Yeah, yeah. Like, I mean, okay. All right. You know this is a hard position to get. I'm asking you to stay for the RZA. And I'm looking at his eyes, and then I'm like, I'm just picturing like, fuck, man. We all know Joe Rogan is huge, and we know what that platform is.

There's no sense. We ain't got to play around with it. Right. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. You stayed? Lil Jon, No. That would be, I'll tell you what happened.

So I was like, I did, I thought about all that. I was like, oh, he might never write me down. Let me go. I said, but God damn it. I just got home and I'm leaving to see, I'm leaving on a red eye and I got a short window of time to be with my son. Rob Markman, Yeah. Lil Jon, That's all he says. I didn't make decisions on the podcast. I said, fuck it, I'm going to a red eye and I got a short window of time to be with my son. Rob Markman, Yeah.

Rob Markman, That's all he says. I didn't make decisions on the podcast. I said, fuck it, I'm going to see my son. Because that's so many times I've said like, oh, daddy had to work or whatever. I'm like, just, you know. Rob Markman, Kids don't understand that, by the way. Yeah, I had to work. They're like, oh, fuck it.

Should have been here. Rob Markman, But so I'm leaving, right? Like, damn, Joe, I'm out of here. And no, I knew Joe was going to ask me another time. been here but um so i um i'm leaving right like damn show i'm out of here and i know i knew joe's gonna ask me another time i tried to leave when he wasn't paying attention to me i was like sneak it out he's like come play pool you're like yeah yeah that pool table is like mafioso yeah yo it's like so that he's like sit down for a second yeah i have something to eat italian person's about to kill you yeah he did that to me, son. So I'm like, fuck, I'm out of here.

Joe Rogan. The RZA pulls up. Oh, shit. RZA comes up. First thing he says, what's up, Ashy Larry, you funny motherfucker? And that moment I say, man, fuck my son, man. He'll be all right. He'll live.

He'll be fine. And I went back in and I was talking about i had just talked about starting my podcast right i'm on cloud nine right joe said he's gonna produce the first episode motherfucking um jamie's gonna be down with it all right do it i'm like yeah yeah birth of a podcast then rizzo come in and rizzo's talking to me about trying to do comedy and he tried to pitch me this wu wu tang version of comedy he was to do comedy. And he tried to pitch me this Wu-Tang version of comedy. He was like, yo, I got to- Like he wants to do stand-up?

I didn't understand it completely. This is why I tuned him out. This is why I tuned RZA out. You write a book called The Time I Tuned Out, RZA? My mind, I tuned him out because he said, yo, bong bong. He was like, yo, bong bong. He was like, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, jokes and I'm gonna flip them. And this is where I got disconnected. I was like, you

can't flip a whack joke. Rob Markman It's whack. Rob Markman It's whack. I'm like, this is the worst fucking woo comedy I ever thought of. Like the fact like, we don't even mention the word whack in our business as we're talking about somebody else. But not as a creative inspiration. Rob Markman Right, no. Rob Markman No. So I'm like, this nigga crazy, nigga stick to Wu Tang.

You better start talking to Shaolin shit, right? So then he didn't even know I rejected, I did. So he looked at me kind of crazy like, oh nigga, you know I'm RZA, right? I'm like, yeah, but that shit wasn't funny. Rob Markman Right. Rob Markman This is what I'm doing. So he looked at me and then we talking, then we was talking about it, right? Then he was looking at me, because everybody when they see me, they think I'm going to

be on roasting. Rob Markman Right. Rob Markman So I could tell he was a little like, he was going to fuck me there. He was looking at me. Because everybody, when they see me, they think I'm going to be on roasting. Right. So I could tell he was a little like he was going to fuck me. And he was fucking with me. And then I said, RZA. I said, because I was still pumped up. I said, yo, man, man, yo, man, I'm about to do this park. This is my first time doing this shit, bro.

I just said, I'm going to throw it out there. I said, man, fuck with me, son. I'm like, fuck with you. I'm like, fuck with me, son. I'm like, yo, give me a beat or something, nigga. That's what I said, man, fuck with me, son. I'm like, fuck with you. I'm like, fuck with me, son. I'm like, yo, give me a beat or something, nigga. That's what I said, right? That's what you say to black people. Yeah, yeah.

Right? Give me a beat. Give me a beat, nigga. Right? I was like, I think I said, give me a beat. Or can a nigga get a beat? But I knew beat and nigga was in some way, right? Right, right.

I said, give me a beat, nigga. This is what he said. He said, bong, I got you. But then he looked at me in the subway. I said, give me a beat, nigga. This is what he said. He said, bong, I got you. But then he looked at me and my friend, he said, it ain't going to be no hip-hop shit. And I said, you trying to call me a nigga?

I said, I listen to more than just hip-hop. He said, it's going to be more like classical. And I knew where he was going. He was like, I'm not giving you shit you can rap off of right i'm giving you something you can create off of yeah right and bruh and everybody talks shit to me everybody said donnell ruined riz's podcast first off i didn't try to ruin the riz's podcast i just ruined it. It just happened. It just happened. Some shit that took place.

It took place. This was not premeditated. It wasn't like, I was like, I'm going to fuck his shit up. Yeah, I'm going to fuck him up. He's going to say bong, and I'm not going to say bong. He's going to say wu-tay, and I ain't going to say nothing to fuck with, right? Yeah. It was just pure excitement to come off of a high.

Yo, in the world of podcasts, bro, Joe Rogan says he's going to produce the first podcast. You on. Yeah. When you come out, you immediately chart. Yeah, he's Carson for us. He's Carson. Like, you charting.

Yeah, yeah. And I got them cards. I had that charted. I didn't know what spiking meant, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Man, my first couple of weeks, I was like, number three. Nobody can fuck with me. Yo, I was like, fuck all them niggas.

Number 10. That's what happens when you spike, that you get all big-headed. You're like, they're going to stay on top forever. They're never going to take me down. Yo, week five, I i was like where does the chart start yeah where is it 200 or 250 200 yeah oh man i was like this remained in the top 10 like to and i'm saying to myself i still kept saying to go down yeah i haven't checked in a while but i was like that's not a bad place to be not just these 200 people but those are 200 people but

what about the thousands of people on the outside? Tens, probably tens of thousands. Tens of thousands. Say the name of your show. So plug the show. The Donnie Rowling Show. Yeah, the Donnie Rowling Show is available everywhere. Listen to this motherfucker.

He's hilarious. I love him. Dude, honestly, I'm happy that you came. I appreciate you coming. Do this. I end the episode this way. I just wanted to say this. Yeah.

I didn't ruin that podcast you didn't ruin the podcast I think you made that up I think you said you made it up because you agreed with a few negative things no I don't agree with all the negative things don't and here's the funny thing about it and I've said this on other platforms and this is where I went wrong

Joe Rogan said Donnell whatever you do don't read the comments yeah don't and what I did was 3472 comments whatever you do don't read the comments yeah don't and what i did was 3 472 comments three thousand you read 3 000 fucking comments not you probably now maybe like 299 000 29 000 it was but i'll say that to say that i'm entering this podcast world yeah we're doing good with it yeah I'm having fun with it um it's a very very different show and it's just 100% Donnie Rollins yeah and RZA will not won't show up in this this is what I meant to tell you also yeah oh this is part the end of that

when I say I could tell he was gonna give me me a beat, not to rap off, but to create off of, bro, this fucking beat he gave me for my intro, it is so fucking Wu-Tang. It's like, and I know white guys are like, yeah, it's just like a little production. We don't need money. It's just all about talking. You know what I mean? But I'm still black, nigga. We dancing.

White people like this it's like this hey guys welcome back uh we're here black people you get bobs and shit you know i mean dancers twerking and everything but it's a rhythm it it it translates to the show it's a dope show and i'm excited about it well watch the show listen to the show listen and watch it's available all over the place uh you're the shit and we end the episode the same way look in the camera when i walk off and you have to say one word or one phrase that ends the episode whenever whatever you want you have to end the episode go ahead um Disruptive strategy.

In here, we pour whiskey. Whiskey. Whiskey. Whiskey. Whiskey. You're that creature in the ginger beer. Sturdy and ginger. Like vampires, the ginger gene is a curse.

Gingers are beautiful. You owe me $5 for the whiskey and $75 for the whore. Gingers are hell no. This whiskey is excellent. Ginger. I like gingers.