Whiskey Ginger with Andrew Santino - Drew Lynch

Episode Date: December 10, 2021

Santino sits down with Drew Lynch to chat about his mom's love for whisky, shedding the AGT label, insurance scams, a million miles on southwest, having a second family and our mutual love for the midwest...CHICAGO. COME SEE ME ON TOUR!!! https://www.andrewsantino.com ORDER SOME MERCH!!! https://www.andrewsantinostore.com Join our Patreon : https://www.patreon.com/whiskeygingerpodcast SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS! BETTERHELP Get help from a licensed professional therapist Take charge of your mental health http://www.betterhelp.com/whiskey for 10% your fist month HELLO FRESH Skip trips to the grocery store Save money and get new fresh market items sent right to your door from the farm Meals in 30 min or less Americas #1 meal kit http://www.hellofresh.com/14whiskey for 14 FREE MEALS BOLL & BRANCH 100% organic cotton sheets in all colors and sizes Treat yourself to the new standard in bedding Up to 15% off your order http://bollandbranch.com promo code WHISKEY CUTS CLOTHING GQ magazine says its the only shirt worth wearing Business and leisure attire From the office to the home to the course to the bar 15% off you first order http://cutsclothing.com/whiskey Follow Santino on Insta and Twitter: https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino/ https://twitter.com/CheetoSantino Whiskey Ginger Insta and Twitter: https://www.instagram.com/whiskeygingerpodcast/ & https://twitter.com/whiskeyginger_ Whiskey Ginger Clips: http://www.youtube.com/c/WhiskeyGingerPodcastClips Produced and edited by Joe Faria Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What up, Whiskey Ginger fans? Welcome back to the show. If this is your first time joining the show, welcome to the show. I say this all the time, please like it, subscribe it, and leave a comment below if you're on YouTube. It's for the Al Go Rhythm. I want to take the time for a little bit to thank you guys very much. Your patronage means a lot to me.

I appreciate you guys watching every episode. I'm trying to bring you a new array of guests every single week I haven't missed in three years, baby! We're getting a new studio i'm excited about that uh i'm on tour i got 15 more cities to go uh right now currently i'm in florida i'm out there in fort lauderdale hollywood area called dania florida come out and see your boy two shows tonight two shows tomorrow andrewsantino.com is where you get the tickets. Then I'm going to be New Year's Eve, dude, in Phoenix, celebrating

the NYE in Phoenix. Then Kansas City, St. Louis, Albany, Chicago, D.C., Atlanta, Seattle, Portland, Vancouver, on and on and on, on and on and on. And it goes on and on and on. But go to andresantino.com for those tickets, andresantino.com for those tickets.

And I want to thank you guys once again. It means a lot to me that you're watching these episodes. I love it. I want to keep the Wiss Ginge going, even though I'm getting busier. I just want to keep this thing moving because I love it, and I hope you love it. I appreciate y'all. Enough rambling from me. My guest this week is Drew Lynch. He's so dope, so funny. What a cool dude. Go see drew on the road as well we're all out there trying to entertain the masses post-covid uh enjoy yourselves let's go to the episode in here we pour and ginger. Like vampires, the ginger gene is a curse. Gingers are beautiful. You owe me $5 for the whiskey and $75 for the horse. Gingers are hell no.

This whiskey is excellent. Ginger. I like gingers. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to Whiskey Ginger. My guest today is one of my favorite people on earth. I say that for all my guests, but I mean it once again today.

Lightning speed. It's Drew Lynch. Drew Lynch. Thanks for coming. Thanks, buddy. That was so fast. Was that good? It was perfect.

What did you say to me off camera before we started? You said your mom is a what? I love getting to do stuff twice. My mom, she's a bourbon stewardess. I don't know what's sexually appropriate, but she went and got her certificate to be a beginner, intermediate. She knows all shit about bourbon and stuff. was i was pointing out a lot of stuff i said uh yeah blantons and uh uh blood oath she's had me try a few different ones but she has like a huge cart of like just like

bourbon right right right right right right when you walk in the house it's insane that's great well okay so you said you wanted some blantons let's throw me your glasses i don't want to tell you know it's like a sacred man's thing you don't want to tell you i'll give you the secret i've given the secret on the show twice before okay uh i'm not going to disclose the location live on the air okay yeah but there is a grocery store in the valley that sells blantons really and when they have it i buy all of them i buy six bottles and they're gone so i have five of these at the house. So don't worry about drinking my booze.

She can never get her hands on any. It's really hard. Well, I used to have a sponsorship through Buffalo Trace. Really? Not anymore. Looking right in the lens. No, not anymore. Buffalo Trace.

But they make, of course, this, Eagle Rare, and Pappy, of course. I'm sure you know about Pappy. Have you heard of Pappy Van Winkle? Yeah. Pappy 20-year, one pour 20-year, I think is like 250 or something, 250 bucks. In downtown Pittsburgh, it is.

In downtown Pittsburgh. Well, why do you say Pittsburgh? Because you had it in Pittsburgh, obviously. I wouldn't just like, I had like a catalog. I was like, how do you know every city's- And if you need the zip codes,

I got those. You're from what? Indianapolis. Indianapolis, yeah. Yeah. You're from what? Indianapolis. Indianapolis, yeah. All right, cheers, my friend. Dude. Clinks.

Wow. Great to see you. Thanks for coming. Thank you for having me. Do you drink every single episode? No. There's a lot of people. I mean, most comics are sober now.

Something you notice, right? Like so many of my friends are sober. A few years from there, I think. I'm about six or seven weeks to be honest. Like I might have to tie it up after the holidays. It's been bad. It's been bad. It's been bad. But you know what, dude?

COVID and the winter, I've gained weight. I'm up to like 110 or 112 now. Or 110. 210, 212. I was like, damn, dude. Yeah. You seem pretty critical. I was 89 before this.

I was real thin. No, but I'm up to 210 as I think what I'm hovering around. I'm getting a little porky. But honestly- Sorry. Sorry, go ahead. Go ahead. No, finish the thing.

No, this stuff is really what it is. Yeah. It's food and booze. Yeah. And I love good food and I love good booze. Yeah, I'm the same. I'm the same. And if you get to the point where you've had enough good booze, then you're going to want

some food afterwards. I know. That's the problem. You can't just like, I can't just like be a man and just like go to bed like just sauce um i have to have whatever's in the whatever's in the kitchen after so do you you're talking about how you gain weight which i can't tell i can't tell the difference but you know and i know you're supposed to say that but i'll send you nudes and you'll know okay all right um and so does your is that something that like your agent like have

you ever been in a position situation where your agent is like listen man like you got to get this under no okay good no no i've never gotten that bad okay but also i wouldn't listen to them and i'm like we're comedians so it's like yeah and for me i guess any acting work that i would get this is what you get yeah with me it's like, I'm not, you know, a lot of times they're like, will you shave your beard? I'm like, no,

this is who I've always been. I'm always going to be a beard guy. Yeah. Unless they were like, here's 50 million. Like I'm shaving everything. I don't know that. Yeah.

Yeah. I, that's your, that's your Chappelle deal. Yeah. Uh, is, is,

okay. So have you ever been, I don't think I've ever seen you with it without a beard. No. When I, I, when I first moved to LA, I had a couple of on and off months where I would shave clean for auditions. Yeah. Just because I wanted to look young and all that stuff. And then I realized it was never who I was.

I've had a beard since I was 15 years old. I had facial hair. When I was in high school, I was the only kid that could grow out of my little clique of friends. And so I had facial hair when I was 14, 15. I was like the only kid that could grow out of my little clique of friends. And so I had facial hair when I was 14, 15. I started to grow. And then by 16, I had a full beard. And I've almost never not had a beard. That's great.

My whole life. I mean, there's nothing feeling worse than shaving for an audition and you don't hear anything. Yeah. Yeah. It's a waste. Now you're just- What did we do it for? Bare fucking face for a few weeks.

It's terrible. Yeah. Let me do this real fast. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I came out with the questions. No, I i like the questions i want you to zing more of me drew lynch um a phenomenal comedian for people that don't know um i mean i've seen you for years and years now you're a great comic uh you've in the more recent years in the latter

half of your more recent career you've kind of exploded i think i think you've oh thanks had a really good uptick in people's your visibility I think what happened with the internet was amazing that it showed more people could get more views on their own I think you've built a great online audience I think you're very funny I want to just tell you all that stuff to get out of the way and people that don't know should check out all of Your stuff you HGT is what I think some people might know you from in certain audiences other would say The stand-up world of the internet or whatever.

Yeah, yeah. Or seeing you live. Yeah. What do you think your biggest crowd pleaser is? What's your biggest take from the audience? Like, what do you, how did you build your audience, you think? Yeah. I mean, I guess, yeah, AGT had like a big, like, role with that, you know, I mean, their exposure was, I mean, at least when I did it, I don't know what it is now, but it was huge. And, you know, the integral part of that story is attaching a talent or a contestant with, you know like i've told it millions of times but you know i you know i've i've stuttered for 10 years because you know i lost a lot of the functionality of my motor skills

based on a based on a going to sleep on a concussion from a softball injury and what's hard about that is like you know what's hard what's hard about doing that show is you know it's not really like comedy, comics, like, you know, it's like a family-friendly kind of thing. And not that nothing on that show, not that anything on that show wasn't true. It's just, you know, they embellish the more vulnerable sides of things

that, you know, I guess isn't, I would say not as comedy kosher. You know, I don't know. I don't even know the right term, but it just felt like I was thankful for that fan base that I guess had accrued because of that. And then merging the worlds of where I am now versus where I was then has been kind of the game.

Yeah. Well, look, you've done a great job. I didn't want to pigeonhole you into a place of saying, because that's the same thing. It happens to me in terms of people like, I thought you're an actor, but I mean, you're a comedian, but you're an actor. It's like, dude, comedy was what I started.

Yeah. I just so happened to get into acting. Yeah. That always annoyed me about East Coast guys never knew. They're always like, no, aren't you? You're an actor guy that does comedy. I was like, dude, I started in 06. You saw me because i landed something yeah

finally and in 2010 or whatever 11 or whatever it was but you're such a good actor though i appreciate it i know that's probably what they're probably like you're a better actor than a i hate your comedy but i don't want to see you do stand-up you scumbag no no i mean no i mean i think a lot of the roles you get um i would hope that the writers are aware, like you have a very, like when you're on stage, you have a very like, you throw things away that has like a nuance to it. And I think that that comes through,

like it certainly comes through in the writing with like Dave and stuff like that. So, you know, that kind of thing is like, that's maybe why. Yeah, no, it is. I understand. And I've always said, I said in an interview once,

and I'll say it again, I don't care how people know me as long as they like what they know me from. So I don't give a shit. Interesting. I don't give a shit. Oh, you know, I said in an interview once and I'll say it again, I don't care how people know me as long as they like what they know me from, so I don't give a shit. Interesting. I don't give a shit. Oh, you know, I saw you in a thing. I've had someone say to me I did a show for Yahoo Screen. Nobody watched it

and a guy was like, dude, I love that show. I was like, you know, I do other shit. He's like, no, I don't care. But you know what? It's fucking fine. As long as they liked what they saw then I really don't give a shit. I didn't like when, shit i uh i i didn't like when for for a while i didn't like when people had said that about agt even though that was like the only thing that was the only thing i had and they're like i saw you on that i was like

don't fucking talk to me about that that's a comic that's such a comedian's i'm not that guy dude i started on punked punked was my first credit yeah yeah and i tried to shy away from it for so long but now it's been enough time where i don't give a shit anymore yeah i used to be so embarrassed by but why you worked hard to get a tv credit you crushed you killed enough to go as far as you did to get enough recognition so sorry i don't know there's this weird guilt trip of comics of like you you you should be ashamed of how you got there you should be ashamed of the money you get when you do get there and you should hide it all from everybody because you have to be this you know i don't know this people's people's person um you know they don't like to see you super successful or they

don't want to see you in these vulnerable moments but the good thing is that tide seems to change now yeah now the internet has let us show well we're dynamic people we're just fucking human beings you know we're not gonna not everyone is gonna be uh dice all the time what an exhausting caricature of a person you'd have to be or look at belushi and all these guys it's like yeah they're dead because it was exhausting being insane all the time you have to be humans like i have to go to a grocery store i think people they think like comics have to be these wild horses and you're like yeah not really dude yeah we're just guys who are able to cultivate our vision

and our voice in a way, you know? And I think that's what, to your point, that's what a lot of people love about or have expressed that that's what they love

about comics. Yeah. You know, like sometimes, I don't know if, I'm sure in many of the episodes you've done here on this show even, it's not all been like,

it's not all been ups, you know? It's not all been like that. I'm sure ups you know it's not all been like that i'm sure there's been like where you carry in whatever just happened into whatever is going on now or you know sometimes one criticism could break you you know of the how many that have you know how you know so so and sometimes i think people have expressed that that that that's sometimes their favorite content that they've seen or that that's their favorite thing that they've heard because it's real yeah yeah i'll give you one right now you want to loop this into some fun comedy moment i just got off the phone with an

insurance guy two minutes ago before you came in and i would just just insurance is such a fucking scam if any of my fans out there insurance sales people good for you also fuck you fuck you into the earth it's such a scam dude he's just he was making up all this new narrative of all the stuff i in these policies i need for this and this because we got a new studio like i said yeah and it was like workers comp for all your workers i'm like they sit at a fucking sound board they touch buttons if he breaks a nail touching a button get fucked he's like no you need it legally in the state of california it's just all this stuff because this was for fun the whole it still is for fun but it becomes a business and yeah the insurance fucking scam of the whole thing i've always such a it bothered

me to no end insurance like you have to have this thing it's bully lunch money it's like you have to give the bully your lunch money because they'll beat the shit out of you if you don't yeah yeah but it's like well you're better off doing it because you'll get more lunch money, I guess. I've always found insurance agents, they find a great way to subtly threaten you. Like subtly, you know, it's like, you know, and that could happen and we wouldn't want that. You know, that kind of thing where it's like,

don't get lower. Is that something that we want? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is that something that we think we want? We're a we? Yeah, we're a team. All of a sudden we're in a relationship. No, I hate it.

It drives me nuts. Also, I wanted you to come out on this show because everybody, you know, a lot of people have speculation, but the stutter is fake, and I know that, and you wanted to come out on the show. Yeah, I wanted to do it on yours. I got so many other fucking requests, and it's just like, it's hard because you know it's going to sail into the views. Do people ever say shit like that to you? All the time.

They still do? All the time. Really? Yeah, man. Which, to my credit, if that's the case, like 10 years in character, fuck, bro. What a bit. What a bit. Fuck, dude.

And then I was vegan for a few years, and that was part of the character's backstory. character what fuck what a bit i did like what a bit fuck dude i was like i and then and then i was vegan for a few years and that was like that was part of the character's like backstory like i was like seasoning it dude let me tell you something dude if if you're on your deathbed yeah and you finally what you grab the the doctor and you're like it was all a bit the doctor's like this genius the stutter was a bit it was a fuck he never played softball he played soccer that's so great

yeah in the time that he can tell a nurse I've passed away you're gone yeah and you're smiling the smile on your face

but the smile has a bit of a stutter even the smile shakes a little bit as you die and he and he and then he

he cause he would never have corroborated it with me like because i passed away so he sounds like another crazy person he's like no he's fucking faking and he goes on he goes and he starts a blog and all the shit he becomes a successful comedian yes talking about a comedian stutter that wasn't real yeah he goes and puts it he goes and puts that comment on all of my videos which again it continues to build monetization for me and my fucking fund after I'm dead. I've thought about all this. Yeah, you've really mapped it out.

I've just heard it so much. It's just, you know, yeah. And I mean, I've gone to, you know, it's gotten to the point where I carry, my fiance told me not to do this, but I carry copies of like invoices of like speech because I go to physical therapy and speech therapy still to this day. And I carry like invoices every of of of like speech because i go to physical therapy and speech therapy still to this day and i carry like invoices every time i get like fucking invoice or whatever i don't

have it on my person and you know just not to just give it to them to like show it to them i'll just like you can just have it and also you can fucking pay for it too um but you know and it's like uh you know it it used to be a lot worse and i think like, you know, it comes a lot with just your comfortability and even just owning it. And that, you know, we talk about like some of the serious things that comics, some of the more like vulnerable places that comics get into, like that sometimes is maybe what it was for me. places that comics get into like that sometimes is maybe what it was for me is just like like learning to be comfortable with uh all the all the stuff that you might not want to talk about and like you know i mean think about like a lot of the comics that or people that we meet in this

business where you're actually like um fans like i'm so i'm fan i'm fans of so many comics at the comedy store and they would never know it because I just like I Have to just be quiet and like not like because I'm afraid if I talk to them I'll you know, you know, I'll stutter or I'll sound like a fan or whatever. So, you know, there's just there's things that like, you know That I that I go on behind the scenes of I think every person that they're not really sure of course What do you think makes you? What do you think makes it go away the best oh man blantons dude um so good does this help make it go away same blantons yeah um just blantons um i think uh i think just i think just i think just i think just comfortability you know if i get you know i'll get and it's frustrating

because i'll get to a place where i'm talking to somebody for know i'll get and it's frustrating because i'll get to a place where i'm talking to somebody for a while and and if it's a friend or if it's you know if it's a comic they don't usually say anything regardless but if i talk to somebody and then they go hey and you know i don't hear it and then i'm like well now i'm fucking now i hear it you know now i'm like you know now I'm a super aware of what I'm saying. And, you know, I think what's kind of challenging also is, you know, is how, how it evolves. Like it used to be so like, like it used to be so staccato in every single word. And, you know, then it used to be certain phrases and and and now it's just like oh i can

get out whole sentences without like even kind of having that happen and you know uh i i would love to just for it to get to a place where whatever that's a that's a that's a whole thing you know it's like you know it's like when a fat comic is like you know i'm fat and then moves on and talks about not fat things like that yeah well you don't talk about it on stage anymore, really. I don't talk about being fat anymore. Well, because you've lost a little bit of weight. Yeah, yeah. We're a little concerned.

I'm 130, and I know that that's excessive. How much do you weigh? Modest. I'm 130, 125. Fuck. Yeah, why? That's insane. Yeah, no, I'm a tiny guy.

It's like I'm two of you. Yeah. Two Drews. Yeah, yeah. One Andrews have two drews yeah yeah i mean one andrews two drews yeah and and as i have been used as a uh as a unit of measurement before but um but yeah so like i feel like you know i feel like uh it's something that i still like if it's like late night yeah address you have to address it because then that's like you know but if it's my show or whatever i don't know well your fans your fans they know yeah they already talk about it um but yeah i don't know what what about you like is there something that

you feel like you have to address like i mean my anger yeah that's i have to do that i just have to do that in the real world I have to address my fucking my anger with literally everything so are you an implosive anger or you know what's interesting

is that like over the years I've gone through these huge waves of like going to therapy and calming down and you still go to therapy yeah

I'm not as I'm not good at it I'll be honest you know why because I get annoyed at the fucking therapist the details about therapy are annoying. Yeah.

It's interesting that like going to someone to get help is also can be very tedious and stressful that would add to the reason that I'm going to get help. Yeah. Yeah. And also like stage is kind of my therapy. When I get to go on stage, as corny as that sounds, we get to rip.

It's like, I don't know, man, there's no better like relief of my mental symptoms of like, how do I debug myself? Sometimes it's just getting up there and vomiting out some thoughts, even if they're not super well thought out, even if they're not really rounded out bits. Sometimes I don't give a shit. I've seen those.

I need it. I know exactly what you're I just do that but I'm also very not afraid to do that I'm okay with a lot of comics sometimes are so regimented and that's okay this is two very different kinds of comedy but sometimes they're so regimented that I'm like

I don't even think you're having fun or you're even getting anything out of it and I just don't want to turn into a joke bot I think joke bots are very scary to me. I think there are a lot of good guys at comedy that are very good at what they do. But a lot of me is like, do you enjoy this? Or is this a fucking, is this like a machine job thing? I came up with the formula a while ago and it is not patented.

But I came up with this formula that it's like one for me, one for them kind of thing. That's good. I don't know. I don't know. Like, I think it's becoming less for them and more for for me but for a while like even like transitioning off of like like agt to the shit that i was wanting to talk about right it it was initially that one for me one one for them here's a joke for them and then here's one that i want to do well and also because that audience is kind of not who you um were that's not who you thought was going to be your target

audience right like because it's not there's nothing wrong with it but agt is primetime television it's a little bit cleaner it's tighter yeah you're a little bit more loose i wouldn't say by any means you're a dirty comic i would say you're just more true a true to form comic which is like the easy way of saying you kind of say what you feel and it doesn't you don't really care if it's going to cross into a yeah boundary yeah i've never heard you go to a place that's like oh i can't believe drew talked about that i've heard myself go there but i've never heard you go to a place where i'm like oh drew that's not don't say that you know in here we pour whiskey hey i've spoken pretty candidly on this show about mental health, mental health awareness,

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Ginger. I like gingers. So when you say that you have used it as therapy, is that ever a time where you feel glad that you did that it's rare it's really i love it really yeah because i don't look you feel like based on the art like even what if it's the crowds like is like not as on board but you're still like whatever couldn't care less interesting i my my theory was always all for me maybe some for you you're one for trying to get better that i don't fucking because what i already am delivering you as much as i can out of myself all the time when i'm in town working on stuff right when i'm on the road and i'm doing a road show yeah i'm gonna try to be as tight as i can yeah i'm putting i'm giving you an hour of my material but when i'm performing

here and we're working out as we all say yeah man fuck you sometimes the crowd i mean fuck off like yeah you see me you see me working you know how it feels there's a guy they're redoing our shower at our house right now i had to rip up this old 80s cokehead um marble tile it was so fucking whack our house was built in 1941 they redid this thing in like the late 70s and finally we were like all right i think we can redo this bathroom we can like afford to like do this, you know? Yeah.

So we got this fucking thing out and we're like on the final weeks of this. It's been like two and a half months, which has been a fucking nightmare. And the guys are putting in huge glass plates for the shower, you know? So delicate, so low and slow.

They've got to be cautious. And I'm standing there like a fucking asshole with my coffee, staring at them doing it and i'm the audience member to a comic it's like he's working dude yeah like leave him alone like i'm standing right in front of him as i should fuck off and watch from the comfort of my own couch but i'm right in his eyeline that's how it feels sometimes i'm like you're watching me put down glass i'm gonna break it if you if you keep fucking staring at me with coffee so no i i think i think i try the store has always been that's because it's my home i feel so

comfortable there working on stuff a lot of nights but look main room shows i'll try my best to bang out material material or late night like you know that kind yeah you want to fucking fly a little bit yeah you want to fly by the way um i don't want to do too much comedy talk because i want to know you know you oh okay i don't really know you know you sure um you don't have to talk about your fonts but you talk to your are you getting married soon or what yeah yeah in uh in in june we're gonna she's not in the business no she is a god bless bless. Yeah, dude. God bless. Things are going to work out. Thanks, man. She is a world champion cross-country skier. What?

Yeah, and she's trained for the Olympics and all that shit. Correct me, because I know almost nothing. Yeah. Cross-country skis, the heel comes up off the- Yeah. Yeah. Right, so just connected by the toe. That's what they say in the biz. Heel off the thing.

Heel off. Heel off. Heel off. Heel off. That's what they say in the biz. Heal off the thing. Heal off. Heal off. Heal off! That's the coach. Heal off! Heal off! She forgets.

Oh, I'm dragging my, am I dragging my heels again? Yes. Yes! We're going to lose. She's a world champion cross-country. That's insane. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So we, she's from Vermont. We met in Vermont at a bar. She ordered an IPA, and I love IPAs, so I ordered an IPA, and that was it. Wait, wait, wait. Was this after a show? No. Oh, this was just in, what are We met in Vermont at a bar. She ordered an IPA, and I love IPAs, so I ordered an IPA. Wait, wait, wait. Was this after a show? No. Oh, this was just in –

Yeah, just in a bar. What are you doing in Vermont? A show. It was after a show, but not like at the show. Got it. Okay. You know what I'm saying? You made it – you detangled a web that was kind of –

Yeah, sorry. Yeah, yeah. I got it. I got it. I got it. No, you were right to – yeah. No, you were right. Yeah.

So I think, so yeah, she's not, but she is, the winter time is like, you know, obviously like they have like summer training camps as well, but she's going back to Vermont here in a little bit to go start training again, all that. But she's done the road with me for a while. Oh, so she stays with you on the road? Yeah. She's with me on the road for a while. I mean. Does she enjoy that or is it just. she does i mean she loves traveling even if it's amarillo texas or whatever but um is that a place or is that it was okay okay yeah

thanks to the victims of amarillo after what happened down there we are very sorry it's uh we shouldn't laugh about it but good god it was funny How do you lose a town? They lost a town Yeah Amarillo There is a George No George Strait? George Strait no

There's a song called Amarillo by Morning And is it Is it George Strait Or am I off my rocker? Hold on Am Amarillo by Morning

It is George Strait Nice Um Okay cool So then yeah Then that checks out What I just said Yeah

But she loves to tour with you. Yeah, she loves to tour with me. Are you on a bus? Are you playing drive, drive, drive? No, no. We are Southwest Airlines, baby. Hell yeah. They have a companion pass.

You know that? I don't know what that is. Someone travels with you for free. Like you. Wait, what? Yeah, they travel with you for free. Well, it's $5, but they travel with you for free. Time out.

You pay for the thing. Time out. Sure. You buy a ticket on Southwest. That's absolutely right. And you don't have to buy your wife a ticket. You just say, she's my companion? I don't have to fucking buy her anything.

But as far as airlines go, I do not buy that. How does this work? You got to have status. Right. And so you just go online, you say, I want a companion pass. Yeah. I mean, you can't do that. You have to have status.

You have to have traveled with that airline. Southwest. How many points you got with Southwest? 1.4 million. Get fucked. I don't get even, dude. I don't, no one. I don't fly my family on points.

No one. That is, I don't know why. 1.4 million. Yeah, man. That's about to pass my subs. That's insane. Yeah, I don't know when to use it. Because you love Burbank Airport, don't you? That's right. pass my subs That's insane Yeah I don't I don't know when to use it

Because you love Burbank airport Don't you That's right I do Who doesn't Well it's only so many of us Love it Yeah

I live in the valley So I only fuck with Burbank Yeah But I can't It's hard for me to stop If I'm going across the country It's hard for me to stop

Really I just can't stop I actually need it I actually need it You like it Yeah I like it Because halfway through any given flight is right when I start to panic.

Not just from flying. It's not like the flying component. I have panic attacks. Whatever. You have panic attacks. You're right, I did for years. For many, many years. No more.

Really? No more. They went away. I think I bullied myself out of it yeah i would love to know how you how you did that and i'll give you a short synopsis over what happened i used to get these things called ocular migraines i go blind in my left eye i go blind jesus they're precursors to migraines uh millions of people get them a lot of people misdiagnose them as something else myself included it happened in college i started getting ocular migraines because my lack of like sleep and health and i was working like a dog to

you know party in college and i was working i just wasn't sleeping yeah and at work one day i went blind in my left eye went to the er i'm you know i'm like i'm dying and they're like you're not dying you're having a precursor to a migraine they did mris on me and cat scans and everything was fine and essentially what happens is after i go blind I have violently bad headaches where it's crazy I have to like sit in a room for I don't know 15-20 minutes and then I'll have headaches will be residual the residual headache will last for about a couple hours but it won't be as bad as the initial 15 minutes that are like it's like a lightning storm in my fucking brain what yeah crazy so I used to have panic attacks in college because I was getting these things and so I would have panic that I was going to have another one. So it would set me

off in this mood. And then that anxiety I got help for and slowly the migraines have dissipated. I've get them maybe once a year now, maybe. And then the panic attacks, I really don't get from anything else now. I was focused just on that but i got through it by coaching myself through the physical attack the physical attack helped me stop the panic attacks yeah so if i could coach myself to the physical attack it happened on the golf course seven months ago six six months ago i literally was at the driving range i had coffee and i remember vividly looking down at the ball and it starts to get blurry. Yeah.

And I know right away it's coming. So I picked up my shit and I was like, I'll see you guys. I'm going to jet. I'm actually not going to play today. And I'm like, oh, okay. And I just sat in this dark, dark room. And then I sat there for about 20 minutes and it really does sub everything down. I just kind of listen to music on my phone and it goes away.

Where did you find a dark room? In the locker room. Okay. There's a locker room. Okay. But if you can't, you just sit somewhere and close your eyes. Yeah. You can sit. It doesn't matter. Dark room always helps. Yeah. It really does help to have no light. Yeah. But, yeah. I'm at a place where it is

fewer than it has ever been. How often? I would say once every fewer than it has ever been. How often? I would say once every two weeks now. What's the trigger? I am not sure. Coffee is a huge thing though. Gives you panic attack. Yeah, I am telling you, bro.

I had coffee in St. Louis a few days ago. They told me it was decaf. My fiancée, she does not do decaf and she did not feel anything from hers, and I got fucking wrecked on it. Can I tell you something? This feels like a Curb Your Enthusiasm episode.

They said it was decaf. Yeah, I know, I know. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm not pitching a bit. No, no, no. No, it's great. I'm telling you, I got fucking wrecked. My friend, who he drinks coffee every day,

if I drink coffee, it is always decaf, and he drinks regular coffee. He also had it, and at the show later that day we were both like like we had to come to find out that we had visited that coffee shop like separately but but because he was just like i had this coffee today and i'm like he was like i was like shaking and i was like shitting and like you know and like i get that this is like what coffee does i realize i'm just saying like everyone does yeah yeah my favorite things like fuck you what do you freaking and shit and that's how i get up yeah that's how i get through the day yeah i'm just describing the thing that i voluntarily put in my body but um so that's a

big one yeah coffee and um and i would say if i am like if i am with close close friends I can be cool but if it is like if it was you know like I love Bobby but if Bobby was here as well like

that wouldn't trigger it but I would start to kind of like alright I can do maybe like three more you know I can do like

maybe three more bodies like I'm serious like you know I'm not I'm not super I'm not like I don't know Bobby well enough I don't know you well enough you know it's like i'm not i'm not super um i'm not like i don't know bobby well enough i don't know you well enough right you know and it when i do eventually then there's just this certain level of like okay i can like you like you you know who i am you know i'm you

know you're not here with malice intent and i'm not here you know and like that's like that's a crazy thing to have to talk yourself down from when I think for so many years I thought, I even projected a little bit. I thought so many people were like, you know, like out to like fucking bully me or belittle me or whatever. And I was just like,

that doesn't exist. Did you ever think I felt that way about you? Yeah. You did? No. Come on. No. I don't know.

Yeah, I didn't know. You could have. You literally could have been like, I don't know you well enough. No. We know each other very on the periphery of comedy. Yeah.

I respect you. I like you a lot. But a lot of times what happens in comedy that we've talked about on the show ad nauseum is, you know, there's a lot of guys

that I like and know, men and women in our business, that we don't know. But I just go, like them. Hey, what's up? And I would always say hello. I saw you on the street

or I saw you at the thing. We just, we're so many ships. You know what it feels like? It's like, if I can watch footage, people at home, watch footage of O'Hare,

LAX, Atlanta, Dallas, love, watch footage of a time lapse of airplanes landing and going. That's who we are. That's who we are.

Yeah. Sometimes these planes are, sometimes it works, but it's a constant stream of coming and going, coming and going, coming and going. So it's difficult to like,

cultivate a relationship unless you've known each other since the beginning. who was your startup guys who were you with at the beginning oh man i used to start an indie i i know i started in uh flappers like flappers in burbank like i didn't want to start in la that's really that's very rare well yeah yeah we're two of we're two of uh a hundred people that didn't yeah didn't start here but but also like i didn't want to do stand-up, I didn't want to do stand-up. Right. I didn't want to do stand-up.

I wanted to do acting. I wanted your friends to see me and shit. And be like, oh, that dude does acting. He doesn't do stand-up at all. But I, like, you know, it was only because of the injury that I had to, like, obviously no one, I didn't get any auditions and all the shit, all the reps, like, dropped me and stuff. So I was like, uh, you know, standup was the only option. So I started to do flappers, uh, out, out there in Burbank. And, um, and, uh, I would just see like headliners just like, like, you know,

I worked the door. So, I mean, it's the same obviously for, for, for the store, like even, but even more so you have, you got crazy guys coming in there, you know? Yeah. And so I would watch, like, that's how I kind of would watch, and I always, always loved comedy. Never wanted to do it. Then what was the spark? I mean, the injury.

I was just like, I'm not going to, this isn't going to be my, like, I'm not going to let this thing, like, it was just being stubborn. I was like, I'm not going to let this thing, like, beat me just being stubborn. I was like, I'm not going to let this thing, like, beat me or whatever. I still have some, like, shit to, like, say. And I think there was a few friends at that time who were comics, and they were like, dude, you got to talk about this. And I was just like, I mean, all right, if that's really my only option, you know?

What year was it? Did you start? Yeah, 2011. That's right. 2012, pretty much, yeah. But the injury was 2011, October. What part of the head? Now, it hit me here,

and then I fell back and it hit my head on the ground. Fucking one of those. Like, you know when the body gets there first? I don't like it. Okay, yeah. I don't like it. When I see it, it bothers me. When the body gets there first.

You see it on the, isn't that the song? Yes. When the body gets there first. Dude, the song? When the body gets there first Dude it drives me nuts when you see this It's like You see them football all the time Every fucking week you see some guy

And he bounces back up And he's fucking speaking Spanish It's just Unbelievable dude Now it's hard softball Not soft soft. Right, right. When I moved to LA,

we played a 16-inch no glove. Chicago style is what we call it. Are you from Chicago? Yeah. Yeah, I can see that. 16-inch no glove. So it's a bigger ball. You played with a 11 or 12-inch, right?

Yeah. 16-inch. It's this big. It's a big honking ball. Oh, my God. But you play no glove. But you get jammed fingers. It hurts like hell. And people are always like, you do it you it it the bat doesn't put enough

there's not enough inertia for it to go super hard unless you're a big strong guy i love most guys are just kind of yeah and me too yes you you looked at it today right yesterday yesterday and i still don't know what it means if i'm being honest with you. I don't think you used it right. That's fine, that's fine. Let me try again. The inertia that's in this glass has got to be kicking around and making me feel good. Who's got the stutter now, pal? 16 inch, no glove. And there were injuries like crazy, but I gotta tell you,

I saw a guy get hit in the chest with one of those things and it looked like it fucking hurt so much but after after playing enough intramural sports i got tired of people getting hurt ironically it was like the reason that i quit i got hurt so many times in basketball that i just stopped and i just i barely pick up and golf i work out i run but i don't play intramural sports ever my friend works my friend works at the golf club that that that you go to oh really yeah yeah we won't say it yeah yeah he works there um and because i think he says he sees you there and he says he's yeah he says he says he's seen you there and he says he's seen you with uh you know uh who

what does he do there he's um he manages like he's one of the managers like one of the floor managers oh shit yeah i think you would probably know him okay we won't we'll say the name off camera but yeah um but yeah he said he's seen you there and uh saved my life golf really i saved my life i i think it's taken years off mine i can't i can't i can't fucking stand golf i was like are you kidding me i know you're doing it wrong i know we're i know we're about to like part ways but as far as in terms of disagreeing on this, but I wish something would happen. I'm sure Tiger is...

I'm sure there's a lot of things that are just great, but I can't witness it. It's just the feeling of... I know that's how people feel when they watch my comedy. They're just like, when's something... Can we fucking move like, I know that's how people feel when they watch my comedy. They're just like, when's like something like that? Can we fucking move on?

Like, I know that. So I'm not not self-deprecating enough to not fucking know that. I don't know what I just said. But I know that a lot of people love it. And a lot of pro athletes who are for like the fun sports like football. They also love golf so much. Yeah, because Jordan, there was a good quote by Jordan. for like the fun sports like football um they also love golf so much yeah because you jordan there was a good quote by jordan jordan said the best part about golf is um you're only playing

yourself even when you're playing other people which is kind of great because it's true you really are only really playing yourself i guess that's most sports i mean almost i mean there's a lot of golf is probably the epitome of that though yeah you are truly only playing yourself even when you're playing other people let's say you're losing a bet to another guy. It doesn't matter. It's because you're playing yourself. It's because your head

is doing it. Yes, that happens in a lot of sports but there's no team reliancy. I love the driving the cart and drinking that thing. Love that too.

That's so fun. You don't get to drink and drive anywhere else. Yeah. That's the best dude. Except for the Zamboni guy in hockey. He's blacked out.

There's no doubt. You don't drive that sober. That guy's out of his fucking head. Yeah. There's no doubt. You don't drive that sober. That guy's out of his fucking head. There's no ice god that's not... Things going a kilometer an hour. This guy's like fucking... Slow down, Marcus!

What's your sport of choice then? What do you like? Either to play or watch? I love watching football. American football. But I love to play soccer. I guessed it. I did say soccer early in the podcast. I said you were probably playing soccer. You lied about that.

Yeah, that's what it was. You look soccer. You look soccer. Really? Thank you, man. Soccer is typically slender, fit. Wow. I don't know if I was any of that, but thank you. You have a very boyish face.

I mean, you'll be young for the rest of your life. How old are you now? 30. Right. Well, you're young anyway. Fuck you. That's the shit., you'll be young for the rest of your life. How old are you now? 30. Right. Well, you're young anyway. Fuck you. That's for sure. But you'll be even younger as time goes on.

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That's wonderful. Beautifully. Is your fonts younger or older? Younger. Got to get an older woman, dude. I say go for 50. Get rid of her and go for 50, 55. I dated older a while ago.

You did? Yeah, I did. What's the oldest you've gone? I liked it. She was six years older than me. That's pretty good. Yeah. What's the oldest woman you've ever dated or slept with?

Six years older. Okay. You never had someone that's like- Wait, hang on. You never had one of those nights where you're in Boca Raton and cruised by a retirement community? You're talking about Amarillo, the accident yeah no no six six when i was in college i i slept with a grandmother a woman that was a grandmother okay she was 64 years old okay yeah i was 20 20 maybe 21 so it's 44 years.

Shame on her. Why, why, why? Yeah, what? She was out at the bar and she just was begging for it. Okay. And the old red beast had to give it to her. It was insane. It was absolutely the most insane thing.

I cannot wait to do her podcast. She's going to have a different version of that. She's dead, Drew. This was 25 years ago. She's fucking podcast. She's going to have a different version of that. She's dead, Drew. This was 25 years ago. She's fucking dead. She's absolutely dead. There's no doubt in my mind. R.I.P.

R.I.P. Ruth. R.I.P. Wherever you are. She's going to call. I'm not dead. I got a fucking email. Piece of shit.

But I love football. Football is so. Yeah, football. Football is so. You're a Colts guy? I am. I am. Megan Gailey.

You know her? No. Megan Gailey, you know her? No Megan Gailey, comics She's from Indie Oh yeah, yeah, that's right She's a big Colts fan Diehard And she's got great She talks a lot of shit online

Which is always nice Because most comics I wouldn't A lot of comics aren't into sports Yeah A lot of comics So it's cool to see other comics That talk shit about sports

Yeah In a positive way Because they're sports fans A lot of comics I've started with or whatever like i don't really like sports and i think it's kind of like a there's a theater nerd part of comedy that's like sports are for fucking douchebag jocks right sports are the most beautiful thing that's ever happened yeah i mean that's beautiful bill that's that's all bill watches yeah well he's he's a little too much yeah that's true he'll just tweet he'll, he's a little too much. Yeah, that's true. He'll just tweet. He'll be like, good throw.

You're like, all right. Who is that for? For who? Can you ask someone, please? It's crazy. That I don't understand. Good throw. Great drop step.

Yeah. Bill's real technical with that. Wait, so then you couldn't be a Bears fan, right? I is, unfortunately. Yeah, as hard as it is. What do you want me to do? No, there's hard as it is. What do you want me to do? No, there's nothing you can do. What do you want me to do?

I know, there's nothing you can do. And you guys were blessed with the great God that was Peyton Manning. There's a Peyton Manning jersey hanging up in my closet. That's a Colts jersey because I followed. I loved him so much. My dad went to Tennessee, so we were Tennessee fans. We loved him. Oh, wow.

I got to meet him when Peyton was in Tennessee. I got to meet him, and he was butt naked in the locker room. Yeah, as you are. The old D-line coach, Dan Brooks. Dan Brooks, Dan Brooks. Maybe that was one of the, he was good friends with my dad. He let us in the locker room and I got to shake Peyton Manning's hand. And he handed me a wrist guard that had the plays inside of it.

So I still have that at my house from Peyton Manning. That's so cool. Yeah, man. Wow, that is cool. Because that's such, that's like, that's so inside of it. So I still have that at my house from Peyton Manning. That's so cool. Yeah, man. Wow, that is cool. Because that's so inside, you know what I mean? Like he could give you a jersey or whatever. I mean, you know, whatever. Yeah, sure.

But to give you that, I think that's really cool. Yeah, and it's got all the plays on it. And I kept it in a Ziploc bag at my mom and dad's house. But my dad has acquired any sports memorabilia that I got as a kid, my dad has claimed as his own. Ryan Sandberg was a great ball player for the Chicago Cubs. One of my favorite, I'm a Cubs guy. And I got an autograph from Ryan Sandberg. And then one day I came home, I'd been living in LA for a long time. And I came home and I went down to my parents' basement to go get something.

And in the bathroom was that framed autograph. And I was like, what is, this is mine. Yeah. He's like, no, no, it's, it was mine. I was like, no,

this is mine. And after a much, much, after much deliberation, he's just like, you're going to get it when I die. All right, just fucking get over it.

I had to put it in a nice frame. It was sitting in a box. I was like, all right, that's fair. So that's what I will say about, we don't have, but I will say about like Chicago fans is like,

they show up for all of it yeah man they show it does not matter yeah you know it's like the weather they are they are out there yeah whatever happens they're out there it's sad it stinks but but also not to get too sporties yeah yeah the bulls are good this year the bulls are very fucking good so i'm proud i'm proud after a long long history of of having a slunch we're uh we're back we stole some players from los angeles and I'm happy about that. Golf, basketball. I just want you to know.

What do you mean? They're right next to each other? Yeah, as far as, yeah. As far as you're not giving a fuck? Yeah, yeah. I understand that. Equally as interchangeable for me. I played it growing up.

That's why I love it so much. Yeah, I was a big, I loved basketball. How tall are you? 6'1 and some change. That's good, though. Yeah. Regular penis, 12 and a half shoe. I'm trying to get to that.

All that. What size is your shoe? though. Yeah. Regular penis, 12 and a half shoe. I'm trying to get to that. What size is your shoe? Nine. Yeah. I don't know why I grimaced, but that's what I felt like. I've never compared shoes. Nine. It means a lot. Yeah, nine.

It means a lot. And I'm not judging on any sort of stereotypical characteristic like the penis thing. To me, your shoe says a lot about how available your shoes are. Nine you can get them right 12 12 and a half yeah can't find them yeah everyone has my shoe when someone's like hey did you see those new sneakers that are coming out i'm never gonna get them i don't even give a fuck i'll never be able to get them because a thousand people right around me are the same size from 11 to 12 and a half. Wah. Yeah. You want bigger feet? Do you want bigger feet?

Is that really what this is all about? Are you getting defensive because you need bigger feet? I really wish I had it. So I have a regular penis, but it's a small body, you know, so it looks like it could. Yeah. That's right. But regular.

Is your wife tinier than you? No, she's taller than me. She's taller than you. Yeah. I mean, no one's going to be shorter than me. Sure there is. I mean. Sure there is.

Brad Williams. You couldn't marry him, could you? His wife is taller than me. Legally, I could not marry Brad Williams, no. Why not? In the state of California, you can. He's married. Can't you have two wives here?

You're thinking Utah. We should adopt that. We should get into that why can't we take that you and your wife and ruth would get a nice wives why can't we have wives many wives like it's like it's uh many many moons ago yeah the idea by the way the idea of having i talked about that to a friend today the idea of having a complete second family like uh there was a family member of ours that had like a whole other family, like a wife and four kids.

Oh, wow. What a wild world. How do you do that? How do you manage that? I don't know, but it's pretty fascinating. It is. I mean, and also,

do you change like- Personalities? Yeah, like, but Roy's a cancer, you know? That's- When I'm here, when I'm Roy, I'm a cancer.

And when I'm Bill, I'm a Taurus. When I'm home, you're right, you can change your moods. Yeah. I mean, that's soci i'm here when i'm roy i'm a cancer and when i'm bill i'm a tourist when i'm home you're right you can change your mood yeah i mean that's a little less yeah yeah that uh that would have to be part of like i mean there's the thrill of like you know all that like you know like i mean i i don't know that no the thrill would have to go to to be into like the the building that life uh component because you know any i think any any married man could have a mistress right but if you go with another whole other family yeah that's tough see that's a whole that's not uh that's not that's not the mistress world that's operating in a world of like uh sociopathy like you really do

want to be able to balance different worlds yeah that's kind of crazy yeah it is and to not uh i don't want to say who's in my family but some of my family had this they did a whole nother family which i just they just just are you there for the birth how do you do that but i mean no cell phones no email so and what sucks is you know whichever one find whichever lady finds out that's the other family you have to go with correct you know you can't go with the family that finds out it's a it's a it's a horse race and whoever gets it that's the other family you have to go with. Correct. You know, you can't go with the family that finds out. It's a horse race, and whoever gets it first is the main family. But the thrill of that kind of gamble, ooh. I don't know if it's high-stakes gambling, but that's committed gambling.

That's committed gambling. Do you have a vice? What's your vice? I'll have a drink a week. That's not even a vice. It's food. Mine is food. I was a fat kid when I grew up. You were mine is food I was a fat kid

when I grew up you were yeah I was a fat kid do you have any pictures of you as a fat person not with me but you gotta post them

on Instagram that's insta worthy man put up fat pictures when you're a kid were you a fat kid as well no I was what's affectionately called a wigger

as a kid you know what that is yeah that's what I was which I was called every day of my life constantly constantly I used to joke about it but it was That's what I was, which I was called every day of my life. Constantly, constantly. I used to joke about it, but it was, it was, I used to, you know,

I used to love hanging out with fucking that culture. So every black dude that I hung out with, I wanted to be exactly what I wanted to dress. I want to be like them, but people call me wigger all the time. And I had this joke. I used to do this joke where I said, this guy called me. I remember the first like them. But people call me wigger all the time. And I had this joke. I used to do this joke where I said, this guy called me. I remember the first time I heard he called me a wigger. And I was like, oh my God, that's so close. I'm like one letter away.

I mean, I'm so close. How do I get it? How do I get the other letter? But people used to call me that. Yeah, no, that was my peril. When I look back, I thought I was like a little hip-hop rat. A little hip-hop rat. What's your music?

Were you a hip-hop kid? Man, yeah, of course. Everybody was a hip-hop kid. Well, maybe. But I mean, I'm a little bit, I'm eight years older. So for me, I was kind of in the throes of like when Tupac and Biggie emerged. Okay, okay. So I was just after that. Yeah. You know, I and biggie okay okay so i was just after that yeah uh you

know i was just after that so whatever is just that was like shaped my childhood it shaped a lot of people's childhood yeah no no in my i think my generation it was kind of like because the guys before us thought they had it all and then i was like no this new when gangster rap emerged it just it just shifted the way that culture was. I mean, look, people used to fucking, any of these fucking old small white towns, they would buy CDs of Tupac's and burn them because they were so offended by the language and the behavior.

Yeah. It was crazy. Yeah, it was innovative for that time. Yeah, it was wild. Now you have Nicki Minaj and WAP and all that. All my favorites. It's tempered, yeah. Who's the greatest, right? squad well so now you've you know nikki minaj and wap and all that's like all my favorites it's tempered yeah um who's the greatest right i mean who i mean i mean davis i mean dick he's so good

he's good but but he's white yeah yeah yeah you can't yeah yeah you can't um no i've said that day before in jest i'm always like i like him black i like my rappers black and that's how i take it that's how I take my coffee and my rappers. No, he's remarkably talented. But I grew up with the hip hop of old. So I'm like a geezer when it comes to my taste because I'm a gangsta, Nas, Rakim. I like the old school East Coast shit.

What did you grow up listening to? Or what do you listen to now? Who are you now? Drew gets in his car and he puts on what? I don't listen to music on the way home. Holy fuck, you just quietly listen to the humming of the tires as it rolls over the... Holy shit is that sad.

Just thinking about your choices. Just because I have a Honda doesn't mean you have to do an accurate impression of it. Oh, let me do the... Honda's... There's one bad tire all the time. Yeah, I am embarrassed to say that I don't listen to a ton of... Okay, so over the summer,

I was in Europe visiting my fiancé's family, and they've got an awesome music scene out there as well. So there's a new group called Meneskin. They're really good. Meneskin? What kind of music is that? I'm not sure. It's rock.

Just rock, straight up rock. I like rock. When you say Europe, that's broad. Where in Europe? Yeah, Bulgaria. She's Bulgarian. Whoa. Do you know where that is?

No. Yeah, yeah. Across from Eastern Europe. Eastern Europe. I do know where it is. Okay, Yeah, yeah. Across from- Eastern Europe. Eastern Europe, yeah. I do know where it is, yeah. Okay, yeah. Neighbors of the Black Sea. Evil people.

They really are. Evil people. Gypsies. Gypsies. You don't marry them. That's what I heard. And here you are. So is her mother and father

here in the States or are they there? Yeah, yeah. They're here in the States. Everyone else. Wow. Grandma, aunt, uncles. Do they like you?

They actually do. They actually do. They actually do. And I'm not someone like, that person definitely likes me. And if anything, I'm the inverse of feeling that way always. But they are, yeah. I mean, I did my best to learn as much Bulgarian as I did. I learned the alphabet. I had a whole journal.

I was learning phrases. The first phrase that I deliberately asked to learn was, do you speak english because i'm a dumb american and that's say that you know just like um it's uh it's basically saying you know do you speak english because i'm a dumb american perfect a perfect level of self-deprecated and then you know everybody's like fucking this guy gets it. Right. Because there's a lot of work that I feel like we have to do on behalf of other Americans who-

Did you represent well? I think I did, dude. You did, huh? I did. I got so drunk out there. And that's what they want. Well, they're party animals. Yeah.

Eastern Europe is- Yeah. You can't not drink. It's offensive to their culture. Right. And honestly, I was vegan for two and a half years. And I stopped not just not because of her family, but also just like, you know, like not even to have like fish and like fish is like so good for you. So, you know, there's a lot of things that, you know, I did to try and like,

you know, just try things. Was the vegan experiment, was that for ethical reasons? No. Oh, health. Okay. Just health.

That's so funny to shake off the ethics. I do not care about that. Please. Yeah. Fuck animals. Don't fuck animals. This is taken way out of context.

That's the thing that- Fuck animals. Don't fuck animals. If is taking way out of context. That's the thing that... Fuck animals. Don't fuck animals. If you got canceled for that, I would go down with you. I would welcome that. I would go down with you for that. That'd be a funny campaign. Yeah.

But I've done the vegetarian thing. Vegan's hard because I'm a Midwest kid. You are too for fuck's sake. Yeah, my mom doesn't get it. So for me it's meats and cheeses. So we grow up with that shit in our blood. Vegetarian I could do, or pescatarian is what I should say, but it's the same fucking thing. Because vegetarian, you mostly eat veggie, and then once every three or four days, I have a fish dish.

Yeah. Or a seafood dish. Yeah. Or whatever. But I did it for a little bit on and off. I never would say I was. I would just do it because I enjoyed it. But fuck me, dude. I missed meat so much yeah and then finally when i had like a nice fucking steak

i was like i can't yeah yeah i mean and i've driven through those fields where you see those cows and you're like this is this is not okay yeah but then you go back to your house and you're like i don't have to think i'm not gonna think about about it I'm just going to eat think about pizza, it's got everything you ever wanted ever everything, it's all there, it's in your hand it's in your hands, you have everything you've ever wanted and so when I was vegan

it was like, you know, I don't know if you're the same but like I find a lot of comics have a lot of addictive and or compulsive personalities. And so whatever your thing is, you have to like, you have to turn it to something positive. Like it has to just be 51% positive. Like, you know, just enough to win an election of what your lifestyle is. Like, so if it's like the gym, I'm at the gym every fucking day.

You know, if it's like, you know, if it's fucking going vegan, you'm at the gym every fucking day. If it's fucking going vegan, you don't even, that's my thing. That's my thing. Right. So for a while, that's kind of what it was for me, but it is a really hard thing to do.

And it's long gone. And your wife wasn't vegan, or your fiance wasn't vegan while you were doing it. No, but she's mostly vegetarian. If she ever has something it's uh fish but bro she's she's got her genetics like she's built she's she's built to be an athlete so it does not matter what she eats yeah it doesn't matter what the shit out of you huh without a doubt yeah with no question, bro. I ask to be on top. Please, please.

But in writing, the day before. Consent, it's consent top. I'm a consensual top. Wait, when you said before food was your vice, is it shitty food? Is that what it is? Sugar. What's your shit sugar food?

By the way, I had coffee cake for breakfast. I can't pass up that stuff. Okay, yeah. When people are like, I give up sugar. I'm like, go fuck yourself. How? It's impossible. I drink this.

This LaCroix. I drink this limoncello. That's great. Because it tastes like it has sugar in it. Yeah, that's exactly right. Because I need it to feel like it might have it. Yeah. And actually, LaCroix is not bad because it doesn't have all the other stuff like the aspartame and all that shit.

It doesn't. But we'll find out that the natural flavor is for cancer. Do you know what I mean? When they're like, natural flavor? What does that fucking mean? Just say lemon rind if it is, but if it's not, it's cancer. Just say it's fucking cancer. The word cancer is the ingredient.

Honestly, I would be cooler if they just said cancer. I'd be like, all right. I guess it is. I guess it's a little bit of cancer, and I'm going to have it, and I'm going to drink it. Wait, did they just say cancer? Yeah fuck it Did you ever smoke? I

Oh Oh okay Actually you know what Smoking literally says cancer on it And I'll still light up a cigarette I mean not anymore But when I was smoking Cigars

Are I fucking love cigars Me too Yeah Actually when I go When I go and write Most comics go to a fucking coffee shop I go to a cigar lounge

this is a coffee shop now? is that the simple fucking guys who have do you guys have a coffee shop here? no I'm just upset about the panic attack and that was my beta way of being like meh no cigars I

go to a cigar lounge we'll talk off camera about that stuff I don't want to give up your private I love cigars. Yeah, I go to a cigar lounge. We'll talk off camera about that stuff. I don't want to give up your private, but I love a good cigar. Yeah. And I only got into it recently. I'm not a guy who knows anything about it.

Yeah. I'm not someone that even pretends to know any, I just, I know the few that I enjoy. As you shouldn't. Yeah. No decent human being is like, well, this has got like, no, I don't care about the leaves.

You shut the fuck. It's leaves. Stop it. Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop. Did you ever, you performed down in Ybor City? You were doing the Tampa Improv? Yes. The warehouse?

Yes, I've done that. Can we get bigger ceilings on a fucking venue, please? I would love to know. I would love it. If when I'm bombing, I would like it to definitely feel like it is too. I've turned on crowds and people are like, we love the show until we don't like what happened. And I was just like,

oh, I thought you guys were laughing. And they're like, no, we were laughing. It just disappeared in the, in the fucking rafters. In an airplane hangar that they put you in.

Dude, that I have to, well, I'll, the other story I'll have to show you. I have a huge scar on my leg from that fucking club because a fight broke out outside as I'm saying goodbye to guests. My like, you know, first time playing the club, I'm only a few years into headlining those kind of clubs.

This was, you know, years ago. And I was saying hi to every person. I'm outside, a fight breaks out and a woman gets pushed into my body. I grab her. And as I grab her, my weight shifts and I put my back foot down to like catch us both. And there is a umbrella stand, you know,

the metal part of it. And that goes right in my fucking leg. Dude, it was, oh my God, the worst pain. I remember it happening and being like, was that a knife on the ground?

I felt like someone knifed me on the fucking ground. So that is Tampa to me. But the one thing I will say about Ybor is, uhan town cigar town yeah you can get a you there were so many good places to go smoke which i loved it because i was just trying to learn about it and all i did take from it was i like these this kind i don't like this kind that's all i know it's good that's good enough that's enough you know you don't need someone who, like, you ever have someone come into the humidor and be like,

you need help with anything? I'm like, what are you, like, what? You know, like, you're gonna tell me

something about vanilla? No. Like, I'm gonna deal with this as a man, and if I'm gonna, in an hour, if it's terrible,

pick. I'm gonna do it for an hour and a half. That's what happens. You're gonna smoke it for an hour and a half and be like, this is a terrible

fucking pick. I'm just gonna swallow my fucking pride yeah and eat this shit sandwich by myself yeah and i'm not gonna like any second of it yeah no it is there the one thing about cigars that um i find to be troubling is when i'm golfing which i like to go golfing i it's so hard to not have one now yeah and i'm trying to get rid of that i'm like hey stop because it used to be drinks because yeah look i'm a big drinker unfortunately i drink too much i mean chicago that's not your fault yeah i know but it's like you know i'm not burke kreischer that it's like it's not a part of my yeah but but to me i do have a drink probably every day i'm not having i'm not having 10 a day yeah but i'll probably this will be the last one i'll be done after this with you but

there's days where i'm like oh i shouldn't i shouldn't i should just not have one but i got away from it on the golf course it's so easy to be like let's have a beer or let's have a drink at the turn yeah now i don't drink when i golf usually which is great because i finally lose your game yeah now i fucking have a cigar i mean okay ron like ron he smokes on stage he's 107 years old i know i know i know yeah but he but like i mean i remember watching ron when like when i when i was a kid and i mean i mean i don't know if that's influenced like at all why i even got into cigars but i was like there is nothing cooler than that also i mean you know chapelle he can smoke pretty much anywhere but but but like i mean i mean that's ron's like thing it's fucking you know chapelle he can smoke pretty much anywhere but but but like i mean

i mean that's ron's like thing it's fucking you know and there's nothing like there's nothing like classier than that like i mean even you know i know i know like i know bill's into cigars like it's just but that's been i mean i've smoked cigars and not it's not like all the time it's just you know once every once every so often um if i'm like, oh, man, I'm feeling like I want to go right or whatever, and I want to make the trek to set my stuff down and get a cigar, it just feels great. I don't know why. I think as a concept, I am obsessed with the idea of doing something while something else is also happening. That's how I digest life. I can't just do the one thing.

Something else has to be happening. So if I'm writing and there's a cigar that's lit there and I can have that at any time, it's fucking perfect. Yeah. You like multitasking. Yeah. When you're watching a movie, are you on your phone? Are you actually... I mean, at home. At home. Not in the theater, obviously. When you're at home, if you're watching a TV show,

are you on your phone? That's the anomaly. I have the respect for movies and for art. If it's a special, I'm on my phone now. Smart man. I will a special, I'm on my phone now. Smart man. Smart man. I will tell you,

I am always on my phone when a movie's on. But that's just anxiety for me. I have to be doing something else because I feel like if I dedicate too much time to this, my brain will start running anyway. Yeah.

So at least if I'm doing something kind of on my phone and watching at the same time, I'm managing my ADD. Yeah. Like I've sectionally gone, I know how to ingest this and still get something done on my phone and then go back to this for 15 minutes and then go back to my phone. I know it's super unhealthy.

Yeah. But it's also finding that wavelength that you operate best on. Sure. that you operate best on, you know? But I mean, like, I also have a friend who, no matter what, he is always on his phone when, like, for me, I might have my phone here, but it's always face down.

And whoever I'm with, like, if I'm with friends or whatever, I don't even look at it once. Oh, that's good. You know? But I have a friend who, he is on it, like, when we're talking and he's looking and, like, we're talking. And there's something that's, like, I don't know if it goes to to like my my midwest roots or i don't know if i'm a narcissist but i'm like can you not look at your fucking phone while you're talking to me like you know no i i don't like i don't like when people are on the phone when i'm speaking with

them yeah but if they need to do something i'll be like i do your thing and then i'll fuck off because i'm like i just would rather not you know i I just don't, everyone's phone is now such an extension of their whole life, which is fine. Yeah. Me too. Yeah. That I get it sometimes, but also, yes, I do have people in my life that are never not on it when we're speaking. Yeah. We can be on it all the time, but when we start talking, just put it in your pocket and we'll fuck off and then you can get back to the whatever you're doing.

Yeah. You know, by the way, the Midwest thing that you just said, I wanted to ask you, did you grow up with a basement? Yes. You did. Don't you miss basements? I do. We're never going to have them out here. I know.

The idea, I've seen so many of my, I know what my parents' ankles look like because of when they walk and it's just, do you know what I'm saying? Oh my God. walk and it's just i know the defined characteristics of my mother's ankles based on that stairwell view she's coming she's hey chill chill cut it out yeah or when they're outside and they're walking you can just see the sliver out god that's so fucking funny yeah i know those also basements to me were such a salvation as a teenager to find out about jerking off and then hooking up with someone and getting in trouble. That's how you learned about all the fucked up shit. Fucked up shit in California happens in someone's living room? I don't know.

Where do kids do it? I don't know. I have no idea, dude. Where does your uncle see you? Yes. Where does he touch you? Where does your uncle touch you? In what part of your house?

I just think that it shaped me as a kid. Having a basement was such a getaway. It was such a little hideout. It was how we escaped. Because if you had friends over, could they come in your bed? If a girl came over to hang out with friends, they couldn't be in your room, right?

No. It's the basement. Basement, yeah, right. Because the room for mom and dad was always like, no, and leave the door open. Yeah. But in the basement, there's no sight line. They can't see you.

I see your ankles before you're even down here. Those stairs creak. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I know. Oh, my God. Someone's coming down. Did you have a finished basement or unfinished basement? Or half?

Or what was it? No, we had a finished basement. Yeah. you have a finished basement or unfinished basement or half or what was it? No, we had a finished basement. Yeah. We had a finished basement. I don't know if I'm bragging, but that, I mean. No, we got it finished at some point too. When we first moved into the house, when we left downtown Chicago, we moved out of the city. We moved to the suburbs.

My sister was born. We went to the suburbs and it was unfinished. And I would skateboard down there because it was great. It was a cold concrete. I loved it. Wow. I thought it was so cool. Oh, that down there because it was a cold concrete, and I loved it. Wow, yeah. I thought it was so cool. Oh, that is cool.

And then they finished it, and then I was like, well, I took away all that, but little did I know that was the beginnings of learning about getting my first hand job, getting my first blow job, and those guys were satisfied. Giving your first, yeah, yeah. Yes, both of those guys were satisfied. I liked your joke better. And those guys were satisfied. Giving your first, yeah, yeah.

Yes, both of those guys were satisfied. I liked your joke better. So when you went to, you've done the scene in Chicago, but you started in LA, but you've gone back and since done. I go back, yeah. I actually, I think,

Chicago was the first city I had visited where I felt like, I think that certain cities have almost an influence on a comedian's POV. You know what I'm saying? I left Chicago being like...

I watched a mic that I wanted to do and I did it but I noticed that a lot of the comics on the show like they had sort of the same kind of approach like a lot of people from Chicago they would kind of do their set and then they would talk about like their set as it's I mean I know that that's not necessarily specific to Chicago but it just was almost every single one and it just kind of had like uh like a certain um like a i don't want to say a theme but just like kind of the same kind of line almost yeah yeah i think

the grittiness i like you know it's easy to say that but um look chicago live being from chicago is a labor of love everyone loves to be like ah the fucking winters and it's like well then leave but they won't yeah they love it so part of the fucking winters. And it's like, well, then leave. But they won't. So they love it. So part of the idea of being from these places is like you love to fucking hate it, but it's camaraderie.

It's why the sports teams are so strong. It's why they're not so strong out here because you don't have to, weather isn't going to fuck up your shit. I didn't have to sit, I didn't have to light my key on fire to open up my fucking car door like I used to when I was a,

you know, there's no like, there's no like trepidation or there there's no troubles of getting to a thing and being a part of it in chicago that's all it is so it's like it's a harborous lifestyle it's like you have to fucking like hunker down and take the fucking train and your fucking pants are wet yeah and everyone's annoyed at that yeah and you can't wait for the fucking first day of summer and but but chicago doesn't do it in an annoying way the same way new yorkers do it well i mean i mean i like new yorkers that gets it new york i it's a grind to do new york but they talk about how with a pride that it goes into it but in chicago's got that similar kind of thing chicago but well because most people are

homegrown chicago is usually a chicago city right. New York is a transplant city. Right, right. New York pretends, New York has this vibe to it. This is, look, a lot of people from New York that live in fucking New York, but New York has way more transplants than Chicago does.

Yeah. Right. New York has more homegrown than LA does, but LA is a fake, it's fake. Yeah. It's not,

this doesn't exist. Yeah. We're in a machine, it's fake. But. Zero spirit to this town. Yeah, it's tough,

real tough. It's tough. I mean, it's tough. I drove by a bar and I heard people scream and I was like, who are they rooting for? Because it's, you know, I was like, no local team is playing right now. But I was like, that is wild. And no other city do you go, who's on?

Yeah. Because you would know who's on. Yeah. You're in the city where it is. But here it doesn't exist. Yeah. That's an Eagles bar. Oh, that's a, you know, that's a Falcons bar.

You're like, what the fuck? What the fuck? Like a Falcons bar in Chicago like what the fuck what the fuck like a Falcons bar in Chicago is just like what? no get a gun you're out of here what are those

the employees? why? it just doesn't it just that so what I'm saying what I'm trying to say is like New York does have

a lot of fucking born and bred New York New York has like a gut to it a soul to it but New York still is such a transplant city

it's a hub so many people come from everywhere to be in New York living in New York is like I to it, but New York still is such a transplant city. It's a hub. So many people come from everywhere to be in New York. Living in New York is like, I want to move to New York. Nobody really, for the most part, goes, I got to move to Chicago. Unless you're a Midwest kid.

Unless you're from Indy or you're from fucking Iowa. That's who cultivates there. So it's kind of all the same people coming together. You're not that far off from us. Indianapolis kids are probably just like Chicago kids. Yeah. Except, you know. Poorer. Po more we have and we have more crime we have better crime than you do you know just better crime newsworthy crime too death crime you guys have like stolen car we've got like stabbed to death yeah shot up liquor store better

crime we're just better crime it's better thought out. So I did a thing. When I was first starting out, when I was doing colleges, I would stay a few extra days so I could go do the mics or try to get a spot somewhere. And it would be costly. I would try to like – because for college, whatever, your first time out, it's a lot of money, but at the same time, there's a huge amount of expenses and all that shit. So the first time that I stayed,

it was February, man, maybe 2013, and I would do a few mics around Chicago. It was so cold. So cold to where the snow, you can't see where street parking is. You can't see the signs for street parking. You can't see where the curb starts,

like that shit. And I remember doing this mic where it was still daytime. It was like 5 p.m. I remember the sun was out, but I was still doing this mic. 5 p.m. I mean, it was, I remember the sun was like out, but it was, I was still doing this mic. And I was talking about my injury because I knew it was like recent.

I was talking about like the story of it. And there was a guy who was like facing away from the stage. And I ended up saying like, yeah, man, and I'm just dealing with this stutter and this fucking softball and whatever the joke was. and i remember there's this black guy sitting at the bar and he's facing the other way he's got his sunglasses on and he goes man that's bullshit and i was like i was like what and he's like that joke that's he goes because that story is that's that that that

that's not true and i was like i was like well yeah i mean well you're not even fucking facing me like what are you talking about and he's like that's because i'm blind i was like, I was like, well, yeah, I mean, well, you're not even fucking facing me. Like, what are you talking about? And he's like, that's because I'm blind. I was like, Jesus, dude, why are you blind? And he's like, he's like, I dropped acid when I was 19 and I stared at the sun for eight hours. So now I can't see anymore. And I was like, okay. Holy shit. I was like, so we're like from the same cloth, bro.

How can you think that? Like, what do you think? Like, I believe that shit. Like, you don't, you know, it's the craziest thing. It's the weirdest bomb i've ever had but i like i like how you're you're showing camaraderie with this guy that clearly like his was self-induced yeah this guy really went for it yours was a fucking a freak accent this dude was like oh no i'm taking a i'm taking this on to ruin my fucking life and vision he said it

in a way that actually made me feel like I still had stuff to learn. Because he said it like, he was like, he said it so quickly. He was just like, man, I dropped acid when I was 19 for eight hours and I stared at the sun. And I was like, there's nothing you can say after that. How do you come back? Yeah, you're just like, I mean, so I remember that happened in Chicago. And there were a few rooms that I had tried to like get in or whatever. And, but that set specifically stuck out. Cause I just remember it. I remember feeling so like, bro, like how can you, you know, you shit on my story and like, you know, I'm not, you know, your thing is crazy, but yeah, it was just, it was so, it was so weird but it didn't it didn't uh devalue your shit yeah but it just felt like it was his way of being like no tougher than you yeah yeah my sadness is stronger than that's chicago yeah i'm sadder

than you yeah you don't get to be sadder than me dude i'm from here yeah that's kind of chicago's way that's what i mean is like we're we're kind of like we're kind of um emotional one-uppers we're like no do you think that's cold? Like that's such a Chicago. He was like, I can't see and I saw God. Like, yeah, I can't even fucking see out of my eyeballs, dude. And I know that's a fake story. All right, buddy.

Yeah, Chicago is such a one-upmanship of, no, you don't even fucking, let me tell you, this is how bad it was. But that's what I mean. of no you don't even fucking let me tell this is how bad it was but that's what i mean they share in this treacherous lifestyle and that bonding is what makes them have a strong culture yeah it's odd to say that but it's like you know rose that grows fucking through the concrete you're like well it took all this bullshit to get something beautiful yeah that's kind of what makes chicago a strong city and I love LA I do, I really do like it here but it's also why when you said it doesn't have a

spirit we don't, it's hard to have one when it's fucking sunshine on your shoulders the only thing I was worried about today was wrapping my outdoor TV because it'll rain for one day you don't need anyone else when you have sunshine

and you're in your car, you don't need anyone else. I know. It's kind of sad. We should have a little bit more treacherous. I think an earthquake should come soon. Shake us up a little bit. We deserve to be fucking, we deserve to be broken a little bit. But that's why the show Shameless is

so good. I mean, you're addicted to that show. They're fucking assholes but like you know and that show started in England and they could have picked any other city but they were like no the same theme Chicago it's true because that city does have that thing does Indy have a thing what's it no

crackers I remember crackers broad ripple does Indy have a thing how you cut yourself off to say crackers crackers that's all I remembered crackers broad ripple does India ever think how you cut yourself off to say crackers crackers that's all I remembered crackers

broad ripple I'm trying you know what the downtown scene in India has gotten a lot better but if you go up to what is it

what is it Bloomington Chicago if you just keep driving and you get to Chicago you're in a city there you are and you know

if you keep heading west you'll get... All you do is go up to the lake. There's a Lake Michigan there. Just go right around it and go to the fucking city and just get it over with. No, Bloomington, is that what you're saying? Yeah, I think so.

My sister goes to college there and they are super liberal, very like, they've got like pho restaurants. You're like, why is a pho like, they've got, like, pho restaurants. You're like, why is a pho restaurant in any? Yeah, it's amazing. Yeah, that's cool. But as far as Indianapolis, like, I mean, it really is just, I mean, sports, bro. Like, it's blue collar and it's sports.

That's good. We need those places. Yeah. They need to exist so we can have those things still have a culture to them, you know? I have questions for you i know this i know you've i know you've been like i i think honestly i think i would make a i think i would make such a good podcast host i i because i'm so good okay probably not so but i think like i but no i mean like i mean i mean you're a great podcast host because you ask such great questions

and i think i'm really good at asking questions give them to me that's my point watch these fucking questions these are gonna be are going to be bad. So when you first, so my question is, when you first started at like, you first started at the store and you got all these guys coming in who you're also trying to get like stage time with, you know, with, but you know, like you're, you were a door, you're a door person. I never worked the door. No. I was just an open mic guy.

I was just an open mic guy. Oh, okay. Gotcha. Gotcha. Gotcha. Gotcha. Yeah. door i never worked the door no i'm just an open mic guy i was just an open mic gotcha gotcha gotcha yeah so even still when you were like finally hitting the stages with some of these bigger guys

or bigger you know these comics who you're fans of like how do you conduct yourself how do you like how do i mean how do you how do you keep it together because Because I'm already so introverted, but even just, you know, even just like meeting like some of these people, you're just like, geez, you know. Well, I think for me it was always like. I mean, you're introducing them now. You know what I mean? Yeah.

I was just so, I was so adamant and charged about like showing off i was so excited about like i look at what i've worked on i've worked so hard on this that like my kind of egomaniacal way i was never worried about embarrassing myself in front of them it was more i was worried i was going to be bumped my brain was always on bump mode wow yeah because we used to get i mean you know like when i i was here i started oh six or seven you know in when i would get booked spots in 09, you know, 2010, I'd get, we get bumped all the time. Back then it was happening a lot. So that was the Tommy era, right? Yeah.

Yeah. And we get bumped a lot, but I mean, at the improv, anywhere else I'd perform, we get bumped a lot. Those are the bump days, like big time bump days. And it was cool to bump and everyone was kind of like fascinated by it. But I was kind of a brat when somebody bumped, I would go home. bump days and it was cool to bump and everyone was kind of like fascinated by it but i was kind of a brat when somebody bumped i would go home and then i think i don't know who it was but one time like eric abrams maybe from who used to be at the improv was like why'd you leave i was like i didn't want to wait and he was like i kind of respect that i was so young that like i needed

the spot but i was also like i don't want to wait until you're done jerking yourself off famous guy yeah i never liked it. And I vowed back then that I'll never bump. Yeah. I'll never bump. Yeah. I'll never bump. Yeah.

I don't need to. Yeah. I can fucking call in. Yeah. And say, hey, make me a surprise guest. Yeah. And I'm not, I'm certainly not that level now, but I'm just saying like, if I ever get there. Yeah.

Fine. But I get enough time now, right now, that if I got more successful, I would have less reason to bump i i never understood it and i never liked the culture of it i never liked that it was part of the game yeah you know bobby and i get in arguments about it because it's part of his world that his generation was was the ones that promoted it and i was always like that's fucking so lame it's such a lame move yeah you're taking away food from the guy that actually starving and you just ate you fat fuck. Yeah. That's how I always felt.

Yeah. So I never liked it. And for me, it was more, I was worried about, was I going to have my, was I going to get my time to do my shit? So I never got in my head about performing with these big names and maybe it's a little, you know, egomaniacal, but I was more like, I have something to show you. I'm going to be good. I know I'm going to have been working on this thing. So I was more concerned with getting my shit out there than, I don't know how I want to look in front of X, Y, Z. That's crazy. Yeah. But it was, it was very self-indulgent. I was very just my, I like, cause I wanted so bad for people to see what I was, what I was, uh, what I had. That's good. I mean, I like that your, that voice

is more forefront, you know, like your voice is, I think yours is the inverse of mine. Mine is like, I have to stave off that, that voice that tells you you're not good, you know? Like I, and then there's like that. I have it. I have the, you're, this sucks. You're not good. That's a, this joke is bad. Yeah. I think we all have it. It's just, it's, it's having that healthier relationship with it yeah that is sometimes the more difficult thing to try and try and manage and you know i just you know that's why like even even at the store like you know there's so many people there that uh i love and i uh i i just i'm i i don't know i don't know how to like i just don't know how to

talk to them because i'm so i'm also so just so introverted i'm just i know but you're but you're one of us you're always one of us no matter what seinfeld did a whole thing about that he's like i could be in an airport and fucking you know uzbekistan and i could see a guy who doesn't speak any english but if it's comedian it's's like comedian? Yeah. Comedian, oh my God, comedian. Whatever his anecdote was. Yeah. The idea is that we're all connected on this thing. Yeah.

No matter what, I don't care what level you are. To get to a certain level of success of any kind, you've built some kind of audience. Yeah. It's impressive no matter what. You think about it like this,

this isn't like tooting our own horn, but how many people would get to do what you do? It's kind of remarkable. Yeah. Who else has 1.4 million miles on Southwest? Miles Southwest, yeah.

Almost nobody. Yeah. All right, give me another question and then we'll wrap it up because we do, after the show, you and I do a off-camera thing.

Oh, nice. Yeah. Okay, cool. They don't get to see. Fucking sorry for you guys, dude. It's perfect because in the interest of success, like we were just talking about, that's what this has to do with,

where do you, are you at a place now where you're like, I am successful. I've gotten the things that I am content with. And those might be two different questions, but I just kind of want to get a sense of where your head space is. Those are two different questions. But yeah, I definitely feel successful for sure.

Yeah. That's a broad term because I think people assume that means like, you know, you're rich and famous. No, but I know I'm successful in the idea that like I've achieved things that I really set out to do and it worked so you set out okay gotcha yeah and i cultivated an audience that i'm super happy about like i'm proud to have this thing and me and bobby's thing it's like yeah it's nice it's just fucking nice man it's awesome to work hard and to have it come

back yeah and by you did it by all accounts yeah by all accounts you are i just you know it's shocking the amount of people who they are and they're not sure that they are. Yeah, no, I think I am. I just don't, it's not enough. That's the other side of this question.

Yeah, right. No, I'm not content with it. I don't think this is it. I do enjoy what's happening. Yeah. I'm happy that I've made a world where,

you know, we go down to, we just were in San Diego together and I brought Bobby and the bad friends team down and, you know, 1,400 seats or whatever in that theater. Like that's a cool thing. So cool.

It's a cool thing. It feels cool. It's hard for me, it would be hard for me to lie to myself and be like, you know, no,

this is quite successful to be able to have those people come out. I'm super fucking grateful for it. It's wild. Sometimes, it's not that I don't

think I'm successful. There are times that I'm like, this is remarkable that people will, are with me on this thing. It's fucking crazy. it's not that I don't think I'm successful. There are times that I'm like, this is remarkable. Yeah. That people will, are with me on this thing.

Yeah. It's fucking crazy. Sometimes my lady says this at the house, she'll go, this is how I feel the same way about this, about she does about that. She'll stare at the dog sometimes. She's like fucking obsessed with our,

I mean, you know, who isn't obsessed with their fucking dog? But then she'll look at me and she'll be like, you believe this fucking creature lives in our house and just loves us all the time that's how it feels when people come to see me live and i'm like can you believe these fucking people came to the fucking city that's how she feels about dogs the way i feel about fans is i cannot believe i can't believe these people it's amazing i'm so happy about it you kind of don't know how to articulate it in the same way she's like it lives in our house

she's so funny dude she's very fucking dude she says some shit sometimes that I'm like you secret fucking genius yeah she's able to pick things apart

very small she's real super observant and then she'll pick apart tiny little little things in the public sphere that I'm like

how do you that's such a funny nook but not not a comic no fuck no she's a human she's just a that's great yeah that do you that's such a funny nook but not not a comic no fuck no she's a human she's just a that's great yeah that's why that's why she has emotions and feelings and she's not trapped in that thing do you feel successful i would say oh man i would say i would say i'm closer to i mean yes but asterisk kind of like, yeah, but not quite.

You are though. I don't know. Your success is in the idea that you don't have to, this is your job. That's successful, right? Yeah, it is. And I think the key to fortune and happiness and and and prosperity all that all those words like I think it's Recognizing what it is that you have and being grateful for it and that that's something that it's not that I'm ungrateful It's just in order to make so much sense of what I feel has has has happened in my life

I feel like I For some reason I'm constantly vying to validate it you know validate the the the the whole why and that's that's my that's my struggle my my struggle is you know it's not in and sometimes it stems from ego but sometimes it just stems from like hurt you know just being like fuck like i felt like that was you know who you you kind of play the what if game i mean we all do but you play it i sometimes play it a little bit more because uh because of certain things and and and and i and i'm i'm extremely grateful for everything and i but that also doesn't mean that

i haven't worked myself to the fucking ground trying to beat beat that voice that's like no you're not crazy like you're not crazy for going after this and i've talked about this with you know friends where it's like that's all that we're doing we're all we're we are either at the end of it we're either crazy or we're not and if you don't make it you're crazy if you don't make it you're crazy you know but if you do if you make it you're still fucking crazy you just figured out a way to yeah exactly monetize crazy you've you taught other people to tell to think you're not that's all it is don't forget to like and subscribe baby that's how we monetize that chaos yes but i just

mean like you we're playing we're toying with ourselves by thinking like you have to be crazy to to go after the shit yeah and then you know it it if you don't end up making it and i mean actually making it then you know you're then people are like yeah did you think like you know like then you're that you're that relative or it's like yeah and then they he did he did a he did an open mic on a saturday and a blind guy heckled you know what i mean like yeah yeah you know but making it just mean to me making it is there another thing that people have different viewpoints on. Right, right, right. But making it is simply just making a living and doing this as your job and getting on. Yeah. If you can do that, then you've made it.

You've made it if you can make it your life and your job. Yeah. Your level of financial success, that's skewed across a huge range. That's like a salesman at one company versus another company i mean and i'm not even interested in the in the financial you heard it here don't pay him comedy clubs no money for this guy i did but yeah i mean you know you want financial safety yeah you want financial safety but you want like like you know there's cool projects that happen and you want to be a part of those things right you know um i mean yeah i mean i don't know like i i

know i know we've brought it up but like i think i think dave is such a cool example of that i mean that i mean that i don't mean bullshit with that i mean it like there are scenes in that show where i think makes make an impact and i think it makes an impact because of the cast and the writing and all this shit. Like that's a cool thing. That's a cool thing to be able to have under your belt. And not under your belt in the way that like I accomplished this. I mean like there's influence in that. Yeah.

No, I appreciate it. There's something to it that –, I always take everything with a grain of salt just cause I'm an eternal pessimist who's like, it all goes away. Do you know what I mean? It all goes away. Yeah. So for me, it's like, it's a wonderful thing and I'm enjoying it, but I also, um, you know, I'm a nostalgia guy, so I'll, I can't wait to look back on it.

Yeah. I feel like that. I'm enjoying it right now. Yeah. I don't know where it's going to go. And you also with TV and all that stuff, you don't know fucking what the reception is going guy so i'll i can't wait to look back on it yeah i feel like that i'm enjoying it right now yeah i don't know where it's gonna go and you also with tv and all that stuff you don't know fucking what the reception is going to be in the future about next season or if you get another one and all that those those vulnerabilities are so heavy that i don't focus on them anymore because it's too much

pressure it's too much to think there's you live live and die by the pickup letter. And people that do, it's tough. It's a tough way to live. So it's like I just want to do it and do good at it. And when it's over, I hope it was good. Have you always been the same person? Pretty close. Yeah?

Pretty close. There was never like a mind shift, like a shift of your perspective where you're like, no, this is the way it's going to be now. Pretty close. I feel like I've always been kind of the same guy in the sense of like, this is how I've always

kind of felt. You know, like I, yeah, particularly about the business. You know, like I don't. No, I mean about yourself. Oh, about me. I'm not about yourself.

Oh, I thought you meant about me and my position in the business. No, no, no, no. Oh, about myself. No, yeah. I mean, you know know i'm probably getting more comfortable with who i am at this age i don't really give a i give such a less of a fuck anymore than i ever gave about who doesn't like me or likes me or you know my i'm trying to figure out um what i want to make

for myself and for people that tend to like things i make that's all that's what i'm focused on yeah so yeah no i think i've kind of been the same guy i mean you know i i have a little bit easier time now in terms of i don't stress as much about stuff i don't need to stress about but that's i'm just because i'm lucky i'm yeah i'm blessed that i don't i think that fahim Anwar, another comic, always said like, So funny. The best,

maybe it was him and I don't, maybe it was not, but it was like the day that you know you've made it as a comic is when you don't have to look at the prices on a food menu

at lunch, you know, because it was always used to be like, I don't know if I can get a fucking $17. Yeah. I don't know if I can get a fucking lot of money.

You know, and I think once you make it as a comic, that was kind of my first goal hurdle. I remember going into lunch and not even thinking about what to eat. Because it used to kind of be back in the day, it was like, dude, we're not going there, that's fucking expensive as shit. And it wasn't.

Whatever it was, wasn't expensive. To the average person, it definitely wasn't expensive. But for us, it was always penny-pinching to continue to move. So those goals those simple small goals they can i still feel lucky in that regard that's like oh i am the same guy because i still feel lucky enough to look back and i still sometimes think to myself it's nice i don't even know that's great to not think about that that's wild yeah it's an order to buy groceries and i don't think about how many groceries i got i used to have to think about all the time used to

be a fucking a budgeted number is like, well, we can't spend $48 on a grocery store. And that was a thing. And so now I don't have to have that thing. I'm not spending eight grand at the grocery store. But I do have, I feel the freedoms. But outside of that, I think I'm the same guy. I mean, you do, you definitely got to change,

but I hope I am, you know? Yeah. For the most part, you think you're the same? Yeah. I mean, I just mean, you do, you definitely got to change, but I hope I am, you know? Yeah. For the most part, you think you're the same? Yeah. I mean, I just mean, you know, just, just, just, just creatively, you know, when you get in that voice where you're just like. I think I'm getting stronger as I get older, just because I don't care as much. Yeah.

Maybe that's it. That's it. That's, that's, that's the thing I think I'm kind of like circling where it's just kind of where you kind of know that, that, that you kind of know that that's the answer and you just got to go through it and not, and not, and not fabricate it, not fabricate that, that, that you don of know that that's the answer and you just got to go through it and not and not and not fabricate it not fabricate that that you don't care it's just that you just kind of don't you know and just kind of don't you just kind of don't it's true all right dude i love you this has been fucking fantastic do me a favor look inside of that lens right there by the way i'm gonna um i'm

gonna uh send you um a bottle of blantons i've got one at the house i'm gonna send you one i have one i have one for you as well have you ever had mic drop no i don't even know what that is i'm gonna get all right we'll swap we'll do a swap um look in that lens right there yeah your camera and we end the episode the same way one word or one phrase to take us home one word or one phrase very simple very easy like this is my trump very simple it's easy it's easy even even mexicans can do it it's easy yep uh one word or one phrase into that camera but that's going to close the episode so when you're ready i know that's tough but you can do it i promise one word or one phrase to close this episode this will be embedded in history forever. Inertia. In here, we pour whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey.

You were that creature in the ginger beard. Sturdy and ginger. Like vampires, the ginger gene is a curse. Gingers are beautiful. You owe me $5 for the whiskey and $75 for the horse. Gingers are hell no. This whiskey is excellent. Ginger. I like gingers.